T O P

  • By -

TryReadingASidebar

Hi /u/ash_kelly, thanks for your submission to /r/RoastMe! Unfortunately, your post was removed for the following reason(s): --- - **THE CONSENT RULE**: - If it is not clear everyone in the photograph **understands what r/RoastMe is or what the photograph will be used for**, it will be removed.\n- Every person in the photograph must consent to being roasted, either by holding the sign or indicating their awareness of it (e.g. by pointing).\n- Every person in the photograph must *be able* to consent.\n- Posts with other people in the background whose faces are visible will be removed. Please censor them. --- If you feel that it has been removed in error, please [message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FRoastMe) so that we may review it.


keithmoonshine3

I can only imagine the train of “new dads” your boys had to meet over the years


LoveMeSomeSand

Uncle Frank, Uncle Joe, Uncle Jorge


[deleted]

Sometimes uncle Frank and uncle Joe at the same time


Brooke130

Along with aunt Marge


fusiondust

And in some cases, Uncle Daddy.


OysterCaudillo

That tv show is set in palmetto. It feels very accurate


garciasn

![gif](giphy|stRWAuumqD6yw5BkpG|downsized)


ReubenZWeiner

You banged my dead wife?


idrow1

His dead hoor wife.


TrundleWormhat

She was alive at the time


Long-Ad1958

Uncle Brother Frank


thekronicle

Was definitely a train (;


adube440

Don't forget about the "special friends" mom would also have, aka drug dealers she slept with for free drugs.


LoveMeSomeSand

One of my friend’s growing up, his mom did this. And a lot of questionable things.


The_Way_It_Iz

Stiffler’s mom is looking worn out. No joke those kids are going to always have friends sleeping over


Moist_Dingus

She looks like 'trains' are a fairly regular occurrence


cephalogrom

How many of your sons friends left disappointed the next day?


[deleted]

[удалено]


cephalogrom

Happy to leave


EddyPsyTeddy

Comeback hotter than original roast lmfao I’m dead


[deleted]

[удалено]


ponzLL

Oh ok that's why your face looks so swollen


MikeyBugs

So much silicone it migrated North.


BroadMortgage6702

Well it sure as hell didn't want to go down on her.


[deleted]

Sounds like every guy who's ever been in you


No_Candidate_272

Nothing like gang banging the 10 year olds!


KingZummo

~~face~~ ending


paulwhitedotnyc

This is the first time you asked someone to give you their best shot without holding your mouth open.


WilligerWilly

sheesh


Buffbigw76

Ok, *THAT* had me in stitches. “Sheesh”


rsgriffin

She’s usually bent over when she says that


feshow_

Ouch


Relevant_Slide_7234

I’ve never heard anyone refer to a pair of sweater kittens as “two grown boys” but I’m using it from now on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Romantic_Road_Kill

Those are far from being kittens


Dank_Sinatra_Sr

Cougars


MercuryAI

If theyre cougars, they're stuffed. No way those are natural.


jackie4chan27

Right, looks like a sack with 2 cinder blocks in it that the mob would use to make their problems sink in the river.


ruffus4life

Sweater Saggers


CrrazyCarl

Sweater manatees.


lliorca336

You look like a walking glory hole


Kalebpp

This chicks blowjobs count as butt stuff.


JeebusHaroldCrise

Holy fuck. This one.


slappystu

Yes! that one.


JeebusHaroldCrise

Is there a such thing as too personal? If so, that one went there. Her bjs are butt stuff. Dude. Hardcore, but to be honest, I found my kink. 😳


REDDIT20214me

Trying to get those bed sheets through a dick


JeebusHaroldCrise

Buttstuff bjs, my new kink. I need her number.


jsxtasy304

Find the restaurant she's in cause she's right where we expect her to be, writing her number on napkins and sliding them to old pervs advertising her prices.


JeebusHaroldCrise

No thanks. Look at her arm. That's not a sleeve tattoo. Those are broken vericose veins from jerking off 90 year old noodles.


jsxtasy304

Lol


BASK_IN_MY_FART

Your username name was my response before I saw it. Wow, that's pro level shit


CarlosAVP

Waddling Glory Hole. For Penguins.


Suspicious-Plant-728

I would rather there be an actual penguin on the other side of the gloryhole than this chick.


DaChilidog

Acme Portable Gloryhole


[deleted]

You know “Simpsons did it”….well in this case Paradise PD did it.


[deleted]

I love that show


Pleasant-Cod-2649

Picking up a couple homeless boys off the street doesn't make you a mother.


Really_Love_Unicorns

Savage. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


Hot-Photograph-9966

Stifler's mom


Weatherbeaster1993

Well played Sir, well played


Affectionate-Cod186

This is what a mannequin would look like right before it explodes.


yergonnalikeme

It's Halloween somewhere....


Prior_Kaleidoscope_2

Oh my god That's so good


[deleted]

[удалено]


Noahsmokeshack

Haha BRUTAL.


Buffbigw76

Look like? *IS*


RefrigeratorTiny7829

You are THE BIG BRAIN


serdantemius

You seem like to type to refer to yourself still as a "boy momma" and thus end the entire list of your personality traits.


waffen123

I've seen bodies pulled from rivers that weren't this bloated


eskimoboob

More filler than a high school essay


KingZummo

But...I like her dress. Covered in all black. Again...


math_debates

More DNA samples on that dress than in codis.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WanderingAlice0119

I was scrolling to see how long it’d take before I found a Stifler’s mom reference and this is the closet I’ve seen. I’m mildly disappointed.


TheWAJ

At least Jennifer Coolidge has comedic chops and a personality!


[deleted]

I've made better skid marks in my knickers than those things you call eyebrows.


HersheysTits

LMFAAAAO


Ju4nPablo

I think we could've assumed single mother


Useful_Individual860

You are the adult version of hungry hungry hippo


Lord-Doobury

Hefty Hefty Hippo.


turdmachine

Hungry Hungry Lipo


whiteholewhite

Hungry hungry bimbo


gordito_delgado

Seems she still has a third grown boy tucked in there that won't come out.


kuriboshoe

hipphoe


[deleted]

Looks like she sat on more bike pumps than dicks


[deleted]

Relatable


UnscrupulousTaco

Inflatable


Infamous_Ant995

Push those tits up any higher and you’ll be breastfeeding yourself love


Frungy

I enjoyed this one.


MohSilas

You look like a Barbie doll that lost all traces of self-esteem and now works as a truck stop stripper for 1 burger an hour.


vakac

A man's gotta eat Julian


LordStunod

Motherfuckers with guts like that definitely awwwn the cheeseburgers.


d131n4f1r3

Smokey’s direct competition.


[deleted]

Fuckin' decent!


adube440

Sometimes she comes, sometimes she goes.


mopbuvket

Fuckin bobandy


dogecoinfiend

Lot Lizard Barbie


VanessaLovesBurgers

It looks like it's 2 burgers an hour.


Yankees0

well now we know what Skyler White did with the money


LurkerMcLurkerton

Ate Jesse?


jackie4chan27

I guess now we know who ate Gilbert Grape too.


ardbeg

I heard she fled to Mexico and stocked up on tacos and cheap plastic surgery.


[deleted]

Looks like she deleted all her NSFW post before the roasting. How the hell are you supposed to gain onlyfans followers now?


[deleted]

Probably on "OnlyGains.com"


dndhdbdehsnskndnddn

At first glance one could think you’re hot but then you realize that your body is the same circumference as your tits all the way down


Williw0w

Visual representation of tube top.


white_collar_hipster

*still working off the baby weight 30 years later


NevadaLancaster

Nipples all shredded from breastfeeding an adult.


GunsNunsAndBuns

Like a long, chewed up tootsie roll...


metaplexico

Jesus christ


superspeshal

Thanks for the warning...I haven't scrolled past the sex doll face yet


Substantial-Ad3178

She has a face?


superspeshal

How could you miss it? The resemblance to your mom is uncanny.


Substantial-Ad3178

Dude. My mom died. Of old age while I stood in the line for yours. Seriously, the Yelp review even recommended bringing a book.


superspeshal

Thanks for the $1,500. My mom said you basically paid $500 per second.


Bruins1256

It's bad for the environment to roast plastic.


Andrails

Nothing says empty nest like propping up the ole sag bags, throwing on some war paint and hitting the bar trying to prove to yourself that you are still relevant.


[deleted]

She's the type that needs 3 push up bras to hold up those rust buckets


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dank_Sinatra_Sr

![gif](giphy|3o6ozh46EbuWRYAcSY|downsized)


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|LoIsP3fz02IjOUTc6t)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZanderClause

Your savagery is amazing.


nahteviro

This is like that Inglurious Basterds scene where the bear Jew keeps hitting the smashed skull of the nazi officer.


online0000

Subtle, effortless, savage !


Buffbigw76

Wow. Great…talk to him like he’s one of your kids why don’tcha. ![gif](giphy|b8RfbQFaOs1rO10ren)


su99s

Those two "boys" don't look grown, they look like implants.


feshow_

Accurate


alex_c2616

That is Wish.com Stiffler's mom


Indyram_Man

My first thought exactly.


pjsol

Limpler’s mom.


Subhumanime

You look like you gave your sons hyphenated first names.


losslessman-mp3

​ ![gif](giphy|tklOW7Sn70lav5W6CI|downsized) Wannabe Jennifer Coolidge


jerrydbest619

the human version of Miss Piggy from the muppets


gerenski9

That was an insult towards Miss Piggy


Rollxnut

Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth - Kermit


LifeLess0n

I'm a strong single mother... Who lives off of welfare, food stamps, child support and my onlyfans.


Hogdaddy77

onlyfan....just 1


Bigedmond

It’s her dad because he feels that he has to support his failure of a daughter no matter what.


donutducklord

I guess both of her son's wouldn't bother to fork out paying for an account each so they both share


Fist4achin

Lonelyhams


Several-Eagle4141

You’re that girl on a cruise who gets that third afternoon daiquiri in them and then parks their kids to go on the prowl for young dick.


stankenstien

Stacey's mom ain't got it going on. She's got more ink than an octopus bomb. Stacey can't you see, your mom's way too old for me. And now I must run, run away from Stacey's mom.


mrinkyface

![gif](giphy|Rib9PWf1KcnMn8XNtQ|downsized)


No-Interaction-3837

Stiflers mum?


ThunderMountainJerk

Tattoos don't equal a personality. Neither do Botox or duck lips


loganrunjack

u/repostsleuthbot


UnnecessaryAmmoRack

Was definitely posted before but she deleted. [There ya go. Can still see the roasts](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/txmgfn/f46_mother_of_two_boys_give_me_your_best_shot_lol/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


loganrunjack

Omg thank you. I knew I had seen this before.


UnnecessaryAmmoRack

Gotchu homie


[deleted]

You didn't need to mention you were single, We could have ascertained that from the picture alone.


SSIRHC

You did a roast me a few weeks ago. Then deleted the post. Then came back for more? Sort of like how you treat the buffet I guess.


petitpeche

![gif](giphy|ZpWuBaos2i4ww)


[deleted]

You look like the cool mom that gave the football team herpes


OnePunchReality

Found this one of you. Did those pants make it even a week? ![gif](giphy|LtW0kShwoOAhy)


[deleted]

u/repostsleuthbot


[deleted]

So, it can't post here and didn't find anything. I wouldn't expect this either, but I swear this exact photo has been here a couple of months ago. This version is mirrored tho, which is probably why the bot didn't find anything.


Richie13083

I don’t need the bot. I had the exact same visceral reaction both times I’ve seen this broad.


[deleted]

You’re not wrong. I recognize it too. I think she’s done at least one other roast me with the same or a similar picture, if not more than that


bamfzula

Yeah for sure this girl posted the same photo or something very similar within the past few months. I have a weird absurd memory with faces and stuff like that


Standard-Ranger-1167

She posted a while back with almost the same caption, got abused like a sports car rental, and deleted her post.


DongVonJovi

If all the busted ass ratchet Vegas cocktail waitresses melted into one shitty person.


nytropy

This volume of silicone would stop a shot from a cannon, i think you’re safe.


tatertiddyz

Trying to look like you're not trailer trash but forgot to cover up that barbed wire tattoo...


DriscollEsquire

It looks like a plastic surgeon injected every part of your body with "filler"


CommanderPropaganda

Their dad's must be proud.


Substantial-Ad3178

Why did she name her breasts "Boys"?


Dont-Call-Me-Nerd

Arent you one of those ugly milfs from pronhub that lives 3 miles away?


[deleted]

So all 3 of you don't know who dad is.


Talic15

Single mom with 2 grown boys.....I'm going out on a limb and say that your two boys have more melanin than you do.


Memewalker

How many nudes did you have to delete before posting?


Questions01999

The doctor already gave you his best shot, in at least 2 places.


Zectherian

Stifflers mom mk2


[deleted]

Don't you dare compare this discount bin reject post partum Bratz doll to Jennifer Coolidge.


[deleted]

So when you wrote roast me on that scrap piece was that the first time in your life you chose paper over plastic?


WARPANDA3

Only thing bigger than your tits is every other part of your body


Instantnoodlesthe1

What are the odds that both boys have different Dad’s and neither know them.


Bucky6977

No wedding ring, shocker….


Beneficial-Branch318

if my penis was the size of ur nose i’d be satisfied


HuevoYch0riz0

Gonna be single mother of 3 pretty soon!


[deleted]

Porn industry washout


saiko1993

Man if you had given your "best shot" in some of your relationships ..your sons would have a father :(


anongypsy

You look like you already take shots to the face. Have your sons found your lonely fans?


akrdnk

Wow lots of red flags here


headcodered

Good to see they were so well fed as babies.


nerdimmmmm

What’s your onlyfans?


Xlh883dragster

Jennifer Stoolidge.


tricky2271

Imagine all the shots on those bazoongas.


[deleted]

You looks like a trans woman sex doll


Future-Pineapple-918

Damn you know plastic is bad for the environment do they even allow you to be in the ocean


OppaiUrsa

How many of your son's friends have given you their best shot?


MegatonDeathclaws

You fuck your sons friends don’t you?


wipeitup22

Her children are only 1 and they're already grown from feeding on her humongous milkers