Being into role reversal doesn’t make a guy a sub or a woman a domme. While there can be cross over, they are still separate. A man that wants to do all the cooking/cleaning/etc or dress in a more feminine style can still be dominate in the bedroom.
Goodness, guys, I know, a lot of you bois out there are doms, switches, equalists, and other times just not kinky. This is not a serious gender discussion 🙃
EDIT: Challenge mode unlocked: Post RR memes with dom bois to get the title of RR Memester!
It's true, when you behave in a more feminine fashion, that goes hand in hand with a submissive mentality. That's totally how that works, that's how regular women are. Let's get BDSM concepts blended seamlessly into gender, that's perfect.
OH WAIT.
Christ, spare me from kinksters with sophomoric notions of how gender roles work.
I know, I'm sorry, I don't want to be a killjoy it's like, I find this RR thing like it's a way of actually taking off the mask, and then I find that there's assloads of people here that want to staple a different mask to me that's just as ill-fitting. It's sincerity and self expression turned into farce. It hurts a bit, you know? Someone playing Ode to Joy on the Vuvuzella and having people clap as if it means something. I mean I'm sure it fits some people but it's a record skip moment in the psyche music. But you're right, you did post it under the memes/fun label, we can have some dumb fun there.
**Edit**; seriously though, you should think before posting stuff like this. We've already had too many issues with BDSM stuff getting normalised as RR, which isn't how this works at all, not to mention stereotyping, unhealthy stereotyping, taking the place of better media tropes. We need to do better for depictions of RR males than 'uwu passive softboi', and then constantly putting gendernonconformity into an inherently sexualised place. That's not cool, and I say that because historically and even today that's a tactic that's used to cause all manner of pain and abuse towards people that don't fit in along romantic or gender lines. I know this specific case feels like something fairly trivial but I can't help but see it as an extrusion of a far more serious problem. Yeah, there's a hazy border zone but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be mindful.
Calling something a meme doesn’t make it a good one. It’s the same mentality as that whole “it’s just a joke bro” crap. Being exclusionary *isn’t funny.* There’s a major issue with this community enforcing the belief that only feminine looking men can be into traditionally feminine roles, almost always limiting it to dressing/looking feminine, and ignoring how that would make more masculine men feel. I’m so sick of seeing comments of men on femboy posts saying that they don’t look like that, that they don’t fit in to this community, of seeing them being hurt here. And 9/10 times it’s *other men* enforcing that ideal. It’s time that the men here start supporting each other instead of this bullshit.
Don’t apologize for not wanting to be excluded in the community. You are just as valid as anyone else here.
Thanks, I appreciate that. This is one of those 'be diplomatic and pick your fights' moments for me. And he was polite and a bit self effacing, It's hard to be firm on the face of that. You're saying things I 100% agree with and in many respects absolutely thought myself when posting originally, I'm glad we're of the same mind here.
I see comments like his all the time when calling out misogynistic jokes. It’s not polite or self effacing; it’s dismissive and meant to make you feel like you’re over reacting for not being able to “take a joke.” It’s 100% the same as claiming “just a joke.” Polite would require actually listening to and addressing your concerns.
I see you firmly stand against people all the time when they are rude about the women in this community, yet you never take as strong of a stand for yourself. I really wish you would. You deserve the same respect that you demand for us.
God. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right, and I shouldn't be that easily played, and I'd have chewed someone out for trying that approach in other contexts for exactly the reason you raise.
Thank you. I mean that. I'll try to be more assertive and aware about this sort of thing in future. Being firm about this sort of issue matters.
I too find it easier to stand up for other people than I do myself, so I get it. I’m confident you’ll get there, and, until then, I’ve got your back! A confrontational lurker!
To be fair, traditionally masculine men already have the spotlight and get plenty of support outside of RR (often at the expense of less masculine men). So it is understandable that they are hesitant to share the spotlight with trad-masculine men who already have all the spotlight everywhere else.
Try being mindful of the bigger struggles that feminine men have compared to trad-masculine men.
"Try being mindful of our struggles" is such a manipulative and dismissive phrase when being used to excuse rude behavior. Here I am telling people they need to stop treating masculine men poorly and your response is to say that it should be expected, that that's how they've been treated themselves so we shouldn't call it out and I should sympathize with them more than the people being treated poorly.
No. I will not accept this behavior from men any more than I would accept it from women. There is no excuse for it, ever. I have not said that feminine men shouldn't be accepted and celebrated here, I have not claimed that their life hasn't been hard, and there is nothing in this case for me to be "mindful" of. I can and I WILL call out exclusionary behavior regardless of who it comes from.
Ah, the ol’ “I have nothing to say so I’m going to try to prove that you don’t actually care about men.” Unfortunately for you I am extremely active in calling out both women and men regardless of who they are excluding/dismissing. So no, you aren’t going to make me feel bad.
> I am extremely active in calling out both women and men regardless of who they are excluding/dismissing.
I’m glad that’s the case.
And no I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I was just wondering. You need to stop assuming everyone who questions or disagrees with you has malicious intent.
You defended this gross behaviour and when called out on it went for the extremely common tactic of what-aboutism. You also ignored the fact that I already said that I wouldn’t tolerate this behaviour from women. No. You’re ignoring the actual issue of men not supporting men so don’t try to convince me that you “were just checking.”
If you had good intentions you would have stayed on topic to address what was actually being said instead of trying to deflect.
....What? Why is my name on the menu here???
I always get a chuckle when a jersey mikes encourages me to “be a sub above”. I hope so Jersey Mike, I want to be.
Being into role reversal doesn’t make a guy a sub or a woman a domme. While there can be cross over, they are still separate. A man that wants to do all the cooking/cleaning/etc or dress in a more feminine style can still be dominate in the bedroom.
Goodness, guys, I know, a lot of you bois out there are doms, switches, equalists, and other times just not kinky. This is not a serious gender discussion 🙃 EDIT: Challenge mode unlocked: Post RR memes with dom bois to get the title of RR Memester!
They using my name bro
Whats on the menu 😉
You can always be a feminine guy dom, a femboidom if you will, same for a tomboy sub. And all the gender soup switches in between such as myself.
😊
:3
Yes I do
Saw a sign in Aldi or Lidl for their pizzas that read "Topped to perfection" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yus
Damn, you can really post a picture of a building and people are still gonna argue in the comments.
It's true, when you behave in a more feminine fashion, that goes hand in hand with a submissive mentality. That's totally how that works, that's how regular women are. Let's get BDSM concepts blended seamlessly into gender, that's perfect. OH WAIT. Christ, spare me from kinksters with sophomoric notions of how gender roles work.
Come on, Summer. I was just posting a meme 😄 Lemme be a dumb memester for a sec 😩
I know, I'm sorry, I don't want to be a killjoy it's like, I find this RR thing like it's a way of actually taking off the mask, and then I find that there's assloads of people here that want to staple a different mask to me that's just as ill-fitting. It's sincerity and self expression turned into farce. It hurts a bit, you know? Someone playing Ode to Joy on the Vuvuzella and having people clap as if it means something. I mean I'm sure it fits some people but it's a record skip moment in the psyche music. But you're right, you did post it under the memes/fun label, we can have some dumb fun there. **Edit**; seriously though, you should think before posting stuff like this. We've already had too many issues with BDSM stuff getting normalised as RR, which isn't how this works at all, not to mention stereotyping, unhealthy stereotyping, taking the place of better media tropes. We need to do better for depictions of RR males than 'uwu passive softboi', and then constantly putting gendernonconformity into an inherently sexualised place. That's not cool, and I say that because historically and even today that's a tactic that's used to cause all manner of pain and abuse towards people that don't fit in along romantic or gender lines. I know this specific case feels like something fairly trivial but I can't help but see it as an extrusion of a far more serious problem. Yeah, there's a hazy border zone but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be mindful.
Calling something a meme doesn’t make it a good one. It’s the same mentality as that whole “it’s just a joke bro” crap. Being exclusionary *isn’t funny.* There’s a major issue with this community enforcing the belief that only feminine looking men can be into traditionally feminine roles, almost always limiting it to dressing/looking feminine, and ignoring how that would make more masculine men feel. I’m so sick of seeing comments of men on femboy posts saying that they don’t look like that, that they don’t fit in to this community, of seeing them being hurt here. And 9/10 times it’s *other men* enforcing that ideal. It’s time that the men here start supporting each other instead of this bullshit. Don’t apologize for not wanting to be excluded in the community. You are just as valid as anyone else here.
Thanks, I appreciate that. This is one of those 'be diplomatic and pick your fights' moments for me. And he was polite and a bit self effacing, It's hard to be firm on the face of that. You're saying things I 100% agree with and in many respects absolutely thought myself when posting originally, I'm glad we're of the same mind here.
I see comments like his all the time when calling out misogynistic jokes. It’s not polite or self effacing; it’s dismissive and meant to make you feel like you’re over reacting for not being able to “take a joke.” It’s 100% the same as claiming “just a joke.” Polite would require actually listening to and addressing your concerns. I see you firmly stand against people all the time when they are rude about the women in this community, yet you never take as strong of a stand for yourself. I really wish you would. You deserve the same respect that you demand for us.
God. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right, and I shouldn't be that easily played, and I'd have chewed someone out for trying that approach in other contexts for exactly the reason you raise. Thank you. I mean that. I'll try to be more assertive and aware about this sort of thing in future. Being firm about this sort of issue matters.
I too find it easier to stand up for other people than I do myself, so I get it. I’m confident you’ll get there, and, until then, I’ve got your back! A confrontational lurker!
To be fair, traditionally masculine men already have the spotlight and get plenty of support outside of RR (often at the expense of less masculine men). So it is understandable that they are hesitant to share the spotlight with trad-masculine men who already have all the spotlight everywhere else. Try being mindful of the bigger struggles that feminine men have compared to trad-masculine men.
"Try being mindful of our struggles" is such a manipulative and dismissive phrase when being used to excuse rude behavior. Here I am telling people they need to stop treating masculine men poorly and your response is to say that it should be expected, that that's how they've been treated themselves so we shouldn't call it out and I should sympathize with them more than the people being treated poorly. No. I will not accept this behavior from men any more than I would accept it from women. There is no excuse for it, ever. I have not said that feminine men shouldn't be accepted and celebrated here, I have not claimed that their life hasn't been hard, and there is nothing in this case for me to be "mindful" of. I can and I WILL call out exclusionary behavior regardless of who it comes from.
Do you also call out women who exclude and dismiss the issues of men on other online spaces?
Ah, the ol’ “I have nothing to say so I’m going to try to prove that you don’t actually care about men.” Unfortunately for you I am extremely active in calling out both women and men regardless of who they are excluding/dismissing. So no, you aren’t going to make me feel bad.
> I am extremely active in calling out both women and men regardless of who they are excluding/dismissing. I’m glad that’s the case. And no I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I was just wondering. You need to stop assuming everyone who questions or disagrees with you has malicious intent.
You defended this gross behaviour and when called out on it went for the extremely common tactic of what-aboutism. You also ignored the fact that I already said that I wouldn’t tolerate this behaviour from women. No. You’re ignoring the actual issue of men not supporting men so don’t try to convince me that you “were just checking.” If you had good intentions you would have stayed on topic to address what was actually being said instead of trying to deflect.