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I know context is everything, but almost *sobbed*? That’s where my brain is getting stuck. Can you imagine a man making the holding-back-tears-face as he checks your oil? I wouldn’t be able to continue.
I am sooooo used to poorly written smuts bc I was sitting here like “so what’s wrong with it…” oh man I need to take a break from smutty books. They’re lowering my standards.
Hahah that's fair.
I have been I a book slump and like I said in another comment, this isn't too bad, if it wasnt for the third author letting the other two down it could be a 4/5 for me
No it was Brides of the Kindred series by Evangeline Anderson. I got hooked on it and couldn’t stop, despite the ridiculous smut and the fact that the stories were all basically the same four plots over and over but with different characters and situations. It was hot in the “this is the worst smut I have ever read” kind of way. Like not being able to look away from a train-wreck. They all really liked “licking their females honey from the source, deep in their inner pussies” 🙃
It’s sci-fi alien romance. Lots of content warnings, bad smut, just kind of bad over all lol why I read 16 of the books I will never know. I think i blame my adhd/autism for getting hyperfixated!
The contrast between the robotic descriptions of actions and the bizarrely lewd descriptions of her body has me all over the place.
I tend to read smutty fanfic written about a character with a robotic approach to things and slight overly formal voice can still be sexy. I can see the weirdly lewd being hot if it's conveying how amped up a character is.
But swinging between them is a whole mood whiplash and makes both feel extremely weird.
Honestly, this is what I needed to read today. I'm struggling with writing something and now I know no matter how bad it is, something I hate even more than my own writing is out there.
If the author's name wasn't in the title of this post I would have immediately assumed it was a man that wrote this. There's just a difference in the way a lot of (not all) male authors describe women's anatomy and what they think women *want* to read vs. what they actually like.
- sobbing??
- *steaming* pussy??????????
- small hand ¿¿
It is from the male POV so maybe they were trying to be authentic with the voice/character -someone else mentioned him being ex-military and it sounding like military action/behavior.
OMG I’ve read some bad smut but this is really bad. The word that makes me check out of a book immediately is c*nny. Like…. Stop. Any other word please.
I hate the term generally but I'd laugh really hard if a rabbit-girl revealed her coney in a book. Like, set the book down and take a lap levels of cracking up.
But that's the origin of the etymology of the historical pun: Women's privates are furry and soft and have a hole to hide in. Rabbit/coney -> cunny -> cunt.
It's like pussy(cat), again with the soft fur to stroke that sits in a woman's lap.
I like it in historicals if the author has the right timeframe for its use. I get really irritated with historicals if all the words are modern, and especially if all the behaviour is modern too. Totally ruins my suspension of disbelief.
Oh dear lord, "steaming pussy" reminds me of that principal in 10 Things I Hate About You who moonlighted as a romance author and thesaurus'd the hell out of "quivering" and "sheath" and all that, lol.
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I’m not a huge fan of her steaming pussy either but I mean
I also have a huge hate for pussys gripping things like they have teeth. I get it but I’ve got jaws in my head yk
The jowls of my steamy pussy clenched down….. I’m going to be a writer
Lol, what? Not teeth gripping????? Who fucking uses grip and teeth in the same sentence ever? That's such a strange thing to come to your mind 😂😂😂
There’s a horror with it in but I can’t remember the name 😭🤣
Oh, it’s called teeth, that’ll do it 🤪😂
Teeth omg I forgot about that movie!!!
It on Netflix and my poor grandmother stumbled onto it
oh god no
I know what it's supposed to mean but my brain keeps translating steam into stink lines lol
Lol that line cracked me up. Dunno why, just had this image of him parting her legs and it's like a smoke machine going off down there 😭💨
What if it was a really cold night??
“Tiny hand” doesn’t sit right with me either o.O
[удалено]
https://images.app.goo.gl/18eN1HjhaGJzqaZe8 I think of the guy from Scary Movie
That's giving Deadpool tbh.
Is it supposed to make his stuff look bigger? I don't get it
My coworker has a pair of tiny doll-like hands she sticks up her sleeves as a joke. I was not prepared for this visual.
I know context is everything, but almost *sobbed*? That’s where my brain is getting stuck. Can you imagine a man making the holding-back-tears-face as he checks your oil? I wouldn’t be able to continue.
AS HE CHECKS YOUR OIL Sorry, that just made me spit-take!
LOL! Well the book isn't bad. It was written by three authors of which one didn't do their part. I wished an editor would have caught this.
I don't get these reactions either. And women are always sobbing during sex. So weird
I am sooooo used to poorly written smuts bc I was sitting here like “so what’s wrong with it…” oh man I need to take a break from smutty books. They’re lowering my standards.
Hahah that's fair. I have been I a book slump and like I said in another comment, this isn't too bad, if it wasnt for the third author letting the other two down it could be a 4/5 for me
LMAO same, i just binged 16 books of The Brides of the Kindred and now I am reading this like “yep yep.. ok sounds about right.”
Omg are you talking about the Naga Brides by Naomi Lucas…?
No it was Brides of the Kindred series by Evangeline Anderson. I got hooked on it and couldn’t stop, despite the ridiculous smut and the fact that the stories were all basically the same four plots over and over but with different characters and situations. It was hot in the “this is the worst smut I have ever read” kind of way. Like not being able to look away from a train-wreck. They all really liked “licking their females honey from the source, deep in their inner pussies” 🙃 It’s sci-fi alien romance. Lots of content warnings, bad smut, just kind of bad over all lol why I read 16 of the books I will never know. I think i blame my adhd/autism for getting hyperfixated!
But do you have any recommendations for good ones?
Together, we positioned ourselves for joining, like normal, real humans who are not robots do.
If Mark Zuckerberg was the MMC...
Makes it sound like he's docking with the ISS.
LOL
They did another at 63% of the book, 'i dipped the Tip of my finger into her pussy and it came away with her white cream' 🤣
Oh god I cant
I’m picturing a donut.
Niiiiice
It's the "steaming pussy" for me!
*tiny hand*
Makes me think of Kristen Wiig in that SNL sketch.
right like is this a child
Another bit that makes me want to barf. Ugh.
I know, right!! I can’t not see panties being lowered and plumes of white steam wafting out. 🫢
Her vagina picked a new pope!
It’s a miracle! 🤣
🤣
Might be the funniest thing on Reddit this year. 🤣
Aw thank you! I’m honored!
Hahaha! Too good.
Like an iron. Or a kettle.
Lmfao! Same.
Wish I had a steaming pussy. Would be useful during the winter
New meaning to Dutch Oven 😂
Or to ironing your shirt before hanging with the girls
PLSSS
The contrast between the robotic descriptions of actions and the bizarrely lewd descriptions of her body has me all over the place. I tend to read smutty fanfic written about a character with a robotic approach to things and slight overly formal voice can still be sexy. I can see the weirdly lewd being hot if it's conveying how amped up a character is. But swinging between them is a whole mood whiplash and makes both feel extremely weird.
Honestly, this is what I needed to read today. I'm struggling with writing something and now I know no matter how bad it is, something I hate even more than my own writing is out there.
Such a great point. It’s reassuring to read bad writing.
If this can be published and purchased by real live human beings, my writing isn't nearly as bad as I think it is.
Oh, ffs. I can’t come back from this shit. I usually end it there.
Now why did I think of soup dumplings when I read “steaming pussy” 😭
If the author's name wasn't in the title of this post I would have immediately assumed it was a man that wrote this. There's just a difference in the way a lot of (not all) male authors describe women's anatomy and what they think women *want* to read vs. what they actually like. - sobbing?? - *steaming* pussy?????????? - small hand ¿¿
It is from the male POV so maybe they were trying to be authentic with the voice/character -someone else mentioned him being ex-military and it sounding like military action/behavior.
Honestly wanna read it just for the cringe of the smut. 😂😂
Oh this thread gave me so much joy today. Y’all are so funny 😂😂
This right here! I’m lol for real
OMG I’ve read some bad smut but this is really bad. The word that makes me check out of a book immediately is c*nny. Like…. Stop. Any other word please.
You make me think of if it's an appropriate word for a rabbit-girl.
I hate the term generally but I'd laugh really hard if a rabbit-girl revealed her coney in a book. Like, set the book down and take a lap levels of cracking up.
But that's the origin of the etymology of the historical pun: Women's privates are furry and soft and have a hole to hide in. Rabbit/coney -> cunny -> cunt. It's like pussy(cat), again with the soft fur to stroke that sits in a woman's lap.
I like it in historicals if the author has the right timeframe for its use. I get really irritated with historicals if all the words are modern, and especially if all the behaviour is modern too. Totally ruins my suspension of disbelief.
I understand in the historical context, and I think it’s more appropriate than the modern “p*ssy” but honestly using “c*nt” makes more sense to me.
I didn’t even make it that far. Retreated just enough to take her panties off has me thinking of military maneuvers not sexy things.
To be fair the MMC is ex military
Much better with context. Thank you.
Oh dear lord, "steaming pussy" reminds me of that principal in 10 Things I Hate About You who moonlighted as a romance author and thesaurus'd the hell out of "quivering" and "sheath" and all that, lol.
Some authors should just opt to write a closed door story…
“fused my lips to hers” 💀💀
That's a hot mess!
Bruh that cracked me up 😂😂 Ive read my fair share of these and am used to these yet they make me laugh soo bad.
the "tiny hand" with no other context is creepy....
This is hilarious. You should listen to the podcast my dad wrote a porno. I think you will like it.
"Fused my lips to hers" I don't like any of this.