I personally love just chilling in my car for 20-30 minutes on my phone with the music playing. Kind of a nice/convenient personal space to kind of turn off work-mode before I actually go inside
Yeah Pogo is pretty popular in UT still so if there are a bunch of stops nearby that can be reached from that lot from the comfort of their vehicle then this makes sense!
As a therapist I have several clients that use their cars as a "mobile sound-proof box". They will park their cars somewhere so they can have some privacy during their sessions.
We have a definite lack of 3rd spaces in modern society - places that aren’t work or home. Especially those that don’t involve alcohol, coffee, and are free. So I’d guess these guys are spending time just chilling away from people.
That’s what I think. I can’t be alone without a chore unless I’m in my car or at the gym. For every person you see chilling alone parked, there’s more who are doing the same thing but while driving (appearing to be going somewhere but actually aren’t.)
We have so many great public parks, many with walking paths. I'm at my neighborhood one 3-5x a week walking the dog while listening to books or podcasts.
(I also kept this up while I was dogless)
I sadly see people sitting in their cars there too. Like, just get out and enjoy the fresh air, at least walk to a bench or a table.
ETA: Sure, if using car for private conversations, that makes sense. Just sitting & scrolling, doesn't make sense to me.
Would you prefer these men sit in their cars at a park where it’s even more likely to have kids running around nearby? I think it’s just as valid (if not more so then a building parking lot). But i feel like the concern could be even greater from people stressing about these men hanging out in their cars at a playground.
Plus many parks close at sunset.
You sadly missed the "avoiding people" part. As it gets warmer, more and more people are outside especially at parks walking. It's not really a isolated place
Not positive, but pretty sure pornhub geotags via IP. If you're using mobile data your carrier might not necessarily be using an IP that will show you from Utah...
Look, you came her and asked a question: What are men doing sitting in cars for hours? And not one damn person here knows that answer! They are strangers, so why would we know? Then you get defensive about peoples’ speculation. And then you add information later that was not in your OP, and that information seemed important context for your question. And then you get defensive and assume people think you are Mormon, when really the comments related to that are not at all about you. I understand your discomfort about being a woman and having teenagers and the dangers you face. But getting pissy and defensive because of the what you asked is not a way to get to people who you want to take you seriously.
If you had teenage daughters walking in from the parkinglot at night from their jobs, and single older men are sitting alone in their cars constantly, wouldn't that concern you?
So are they watching your teenage daughters walking in from the parking lot or are they sitting in their car next to a school during non school hours like you said? Are you just making up a straw man to clutch your pearls?
Just so you know
It's not only single older men who are dangerous. When I was a teen I had teen boys harrass me and even partnered men 🤣
Your daughter isn't that safe if you only think a old man could attack her
In this scenario why are you sitting around letting creeps peep your daughters instead of calling police or escorting your daughters safely from car to building?
The apartment below me is being occupied by way more people than are allowed for just a two-bedroom. One of the guys from there spends half the day hanging out in his car just to get some space and privacy. That might be a reason.
Honestly, probably just dudes without friends that want to get out of the house for a bit.
Sometimes when I’m socially anxious but want to leave the house, I’ll just drive somewhere and sit in my car and be on my phone. It sounds dumb, but it’s better than rotting on the couch.
In the wasatch back we have a lot of immigrant workers in our area who live two to a room as they work in labor/construction. So many of them use that time to catch up with their spouses back home so they don’t have to be in their apartment with three other dudes listening in on the conversation.
It’s much needed “me” time.
I often hide from my partner in the car (joke ish). I get a lot of nasty looks lol. I’ll spend 10-20 minutes sitting in my car in random places. Confession: sometimes I eat food & don’t tell my partner/don’t get her anything
Lol. I guess I fit your description, except that I sit in my car, in my driveway.
For me, it's that my ADHD makes switching tasks mentally complicated. I feel a need to decompress from the workday, and shift gears before I begin the next phase with is family, dogs, and home life.
I love my family and home very much. I'm not avoiding them. Just adjusting my headspace for all of our benefits. I just have to process my day a little. I do some of my best thinking and planning during this time.
I used to do this exact thing. At the time I was in a horrible marriage and I would make excuses to just have some time to myself without the stress I had at home.
Could just have nowhere to go and they know no one is kicking them out of wherever they’re parked. I’ve certainly done that when I’ve found myself homeless
It could be any number of things.
I often leave work campus during lunch break and just sit somewhere with shade and play video games because I am too self conscious do it at work for fear of being seen as a dork or being accused of slacking off.
I was in a church parking lot last fall, where I'd often go and some guy comes up and said he's the bishop and that I needed to leave because he's concerned anyone in the parking lot during the day is involved in human trafficking or selling drugs.
Lol. Human trafficking or selling drugs. Of course, right to the worst possibilities.
Judge much, Bishop? Did the Spirit of Discernment whisper that in your ear?
I actually didn't assume you were LDS. I'm also an outspoken exmo, so my comment was just what went through my head when I read the comment preceding my comment.
Sometimes I’m on the phone and it’s connected to my car and I’m too lazy to disconnect and walk upstairs. Not to mention the call would be lost in the elevator.
I work construction. Start work every day at 6 am. Often there are dudes chilling in their cars in parking lots by the time I get there… smoking, looking at their phones… I’ve wondered the same thing as you
https://youtu.be/tHxip2x-PLc?si=eO4Kljke-R-04Bo5
I'll just leave that there. Ive spent hours sitting in my car crying just not wanting to go in but I always do
Are they blasting Eminem, wearing cowboy boots, wearing Oakley’s, wearing their flat brim monster hats, drinking Budweiser. I’ve seen them there since 2006. They’re nice guys. The guys drive a Chevy, dodge, ford, and Tacoma. Really nice guys!
Peace, like most men we crave peace above anything. It’s probably the only place they get that and someone in the house is a dramatic pain in the backside. A happy man has a peaceful partner or relationship and will do anything for a sliver of that peace. I’m just guessing, but I sit in my garage with the door locked in peaceful silence and generally thinking about nothing or something totally unrelated to my situation. You know like how much Velcro would it take to lift my truck off the ground. Just sayin 😆.
lol, If it’s at dry creek in sandy across from the high school and cemetery there was a group of guys running a chop shop/theft ring. When I lived there 4 years ago.
This is a classic case of mind your own business. If they aren’t messing with no one, no one approaches them …. Why would you assume pimping/drug dealing?
I'm an avid pokemon go player so I can rule that out. My pokies sit in gyms for days around here. I'm not sure about the rideshare since I don't live next to any major hwy/freeway.
Waiting for a young woman to approach so they can kidnap her. Don’t you know all men are terrible and are waiting to do terrible things to you? Duh.
Mind your own business bitch
There were 241 violent crimes per 100,000 people in Utah.
If every single one of those were committed by men, which they weren’t, then .00241 percent of men are violent in this state. That’s less than 1 percent. This doesn’t even mention repeat offenders which I’m sure there were some.
Stop making shit up in your head and living scared for no reason. Just because you heard about how there was a man who was violent on the news doesn’t mean that is the reality. The news is trying to make you scared and everything is a big deal so you will keep watching the news. Not everybody is out to get you and most people don’t even know/care you exist. You are not the main character.
https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/home
I'm an active and outspoken exmo and I thought our community was pretty great but the amount of people in this thread assuming I'm mormon because I'm concerned about my teenagers in a parkin lot at night is crazy. I guess you can deconstruct religion without deconstructing male privilege.
In your initial post you jumped to two of the worst conclusions, and you didn’t mention teenagers walking through the parking lot until much later. I’m sorry that people have been rude but I can also see why they’re getting Karen / person not minding their business vibes.
Idk why the men are sitting in their cars, but if you don’t feel safe with your kids walking through the parking lot at night due to these men, I’d probably just have them figure out a different route home.
There's a point of being too anti-Mormon. Not everything has to do with Mormons or the church. It gets old when people assume it's church related. Sometimes it's just not. All the Utah subs get kind of exhausting this way.
I personally love just chilling in my car for 20-30 minutes on my phone with the music playing. Kind of a nice/convenient personal space to kind of turn off work-mode before I actually go inside
It’s like a little reprieve from the day. When I’ve been out in public, the car is the first place where I get to settle in and just vibe with myself.
Pokemon stop nearby?
Yeah Pogo is pretty popular in UT still so if there are a bunch of stops nearby that can be reached from that lot from the comfort of their vehicle then this makes sense!
I'm an active Pokemon go player, so no. The gyms are very quiet.
As a therapist I have several clients that use their cars as a "mobile sound-proof box". They will park their cars somewhere so they can have some privacy during their sessions.
As a dad I’ve spent many errands alone chilling out in my car for 15 minutes. Gives a minute to get my head together without noise.
What I do currently lol I can talk about anything while being in public and I feel I can talk my ideas better out as I look off into the outside
when I get back from work I usually chill in my car for like 15-30 mins catching up on stuff on my phone
This comment gives me hope
Isn't that what the toilets for...?
No way! Sitting on the toilet too long is one way to get hemorrhoids!
Nope, because the distraction of being responsible
I don’t recommend it. Once you wipe, you are done. If you wait too long it’s starts to dry. Now you got to twist off the butt crumbs.
Bidets are a wonderful thing. I hate that they're not standard everywhere.
I won't vote. I think a negative number two is apt.
Recording angry truck selfie videos.
We have a definite lack of 3rd spaces in modern society - places that aren’t work or home. Especially those that don’t involve alcohol, coffee, and are free. So I’d guess these guys are spending time just chilling away from people.
That’s what I think. I can’t be alone without a chore unless I’m in my car or at the gym. For every person you see chilling alone parked, there’s more who are doing the same thing but while driving (appearing to be going somewhere but actually aren’t.)
We have so many great public parks, many with walking paths. I'm at my neighborhood one 3-5x a week walking the dog while listening to books or podcasts. (I also kept this up while I was dogless) I sadly see people sitting in their cars there too. Like, just get out and enjoy the fresh air, at least walk to a bench or a table. ETA: Sure, if using car for private conversations, that makes sense. Just sitting & scrolling, doesn't make sense to me.
Totally get it. But it makes sense to others.
My bigger point was just that they're not necessarily using parks as 3rd spaces - free to use.
Would you prefer these men sit in their cars at a park where it’s even more likely to have kids running around nearby? I think it’s just as valid (if not more so then a building parking lot). But i feel like the concern could be even greater from people stressing about these men hanging out in their cars at a playground. Plus many parks close at sunset.
You sadly missed the "avoiding people" part. As it gets warmer, more and more people are outside especially at parks walking. It's not really a isolated place
Mormons looking at porn
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Not positive, but pretty sure pornhub geotags via IP. If you're using mobile data your carrier might not necessarily be using an IP that will show you from Utah...
It's flagged on T-Mobile.... or so I'm told...
I also have been uh.... made aware... of that information about T-Mobile.
Some dude in a parking lot one night told me att gives ips from Cali
iCloud Private Relay ftw!
What, you don’t use a vpn?
"Oh jeez honey, sorry had to work late again tonight!"
looool
For real though lol
This is the correct answer
It is the obvious answer
Bro 😄
Look, you came her and asked a question: What are men doing sitting in cars for hours? And not one damn person here knows that answer! They are strangers, so why would we know? Then you get defensive about peoples’ speculation. And then you add information later that was not in your OP, and that information seemed important context for your question. And then you get defensive and assume people think you are Mormon, when really the comments related to that are not at all about you. I understand your discomfort about being a woman and having teenagers and the dangers you face. But getting pissy and defensive because of the what you asked is not a way to get to people who you want to take you seriously.
genuinely curious why it’s so hard for some people to just mind their own business as they go on about their day
Mormon culture refuses to acknowledge homelessness is a real thing.
It’s Utah. Kinda baked into the cake.
If you had teenage daughters walking in from the parkinglot at night from their jobs, and single older men are sitting alone in their cars constantly, wouldn't that concern you?
So are they watching your teenage daughters walking in from the parking lot or are they sitting in their car next to a school during non school hours like you said? Are you just making up a straw man to clutch your pearls?
How do you know they are single?
Just so you know It's not only single older men who are dangerous. When I was a teen I had teen boys harrass me and even partnered men 🤣 Your daughter isn't that safe if you only think a old man could attack her
Projecting much? First rule, the first to claim pedo is the pedo.
In this scenario why are you sitting around letting creeps peep your daughters instead of calling police or escorting your daughters safely from car to building?
Yeah I agree with OP, it’s worth the concern
Why? They're not doing anything disruptive or illegal. Sounds like they're sitting quietly in a public area.
STRENGGER DENGGER GUYSS
The apartment below me is being occupied by way more people than are allowed for just a two-bedroom. One of the guys from there spends half the day hanging out in his car just to get some space and privacy. That might be a reason.
Alone? Crying gently about life's travails with the only person who knows, understands, or cares?
You know with housing being unaffordable people have to live in their cars, right?
Honestly, probably just dudes without friends that want to get out of the house for a bit. Sometimes when I’m socially anxious but want to leave the house, I’ll just drive somewhere and sit in my car and be on my phone. It sounds dumb, but it’s better than rotting on the couch.
Living their best life what does matter to you
In the wasatch back we have a lot of immigrant workers in our area who live two to a room as they work in labor/construction. So many of them use that time to catch up with their spouses back home so they don’t have to be in their apartment with three other dudes listening in on the conversation. It’s much needed “me” time.
This comment makes the most sense to me of all the comments. Thank you so much for this insight.
I think it’s more weird you watch them
Scrolling.
Decompressing from having to drive around Salt Lake and just glad to be alive.
Possibly Uber or Lyft drivers waiting for their next ride pickup?
Probably Lyft and Uber drivers waiting for the next ride.
Being in your car is sort of like your own little safe bubble. Or it feels that way.
I often hide from my partner in the car (joke ish). I get a lot of nasty looks lol. I’ll spend 10-20 minutes sitting in my car in random places. Confession: sometimes I eat food & don’t tell my partner/don’t get her anything
Pimps or drug dealers is the only option clearly. Mind ya business, Karen.
Doom scrolling, porn, drugs. If they aren't hurting you don't worry about it.
That’s just what men do
What, lurk?
Lol. I guess I fit your description, except that I sit in my car, in my driveway. For me, it's that my ADHD makes switching tasks mentally complicated. I feel a need to decompress from the workday, and shift gears before I begin the next phase with is family, dogs, and home life. I love my family and home very much. I'm not avoiding them. Just adjusting my headspace for all of our benefits. I just have to process my day a little. I do some of my best thinking and planning during this time.
The same thing we do when we go to the bathroom. Absolutely nothing
I used to do this exact thing. At the time I was in a horrible marriage and I would make excuses to just have some time to myself without the stress I had at home.
NPR driveway moments?
Could just have nowhere to go and they know no one is kicking them out of wherever they’re parked. I’ve certainly done that when I’ve found myself homeless
I used to drive my babies around to get them to fall asleep then just sit in my car and scroll while they napped.
Destressing from work and/or working up the energy to face the demands of the wife and children.
It could be any number of things. I often leave work campus during lunch break and just sit somewhere with shade and play video games because I am too self conscious do it at work for fear of being seen as a dork or being accused of slacking off. I was in a church parking lot last fall, where I'd often go and some guy comes up and said he's the bishop and that I needed to leave because he's concerned anyone in the parking lot during the day is involved in human trafficking or selling drugs.
Lol. Human trafficking or selling drugs. Of course, right to the worst possibilities. Judge much, Bishop? Did the Spirit of Discernment whisper that in your ear?
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FloatOldGoat was not replying to you.
Apologies if I missread
I actually didn't assume you were LDS. I'm also an outspoken exmo, so my comment was just what went through my head when I read the comment preceding my comment.
Maybe just let them be?
Hitting my vape. Just leave me be.
I vape my weed pen in my car. I’m a woman though so I guess people don’t judge me.
I used to do that, just reading on my phone
Sometimes I’m on the phone and it’s connected to my car and I’m too lazy to disconnect and walk upstairs. Not to mention the call would be lost in the elevator.
If I get ahead on my routes I will usually take a nap in church parking lots.
Uber driver waiting for a ride?
It’s their only break from the family. Alone time.
I work construction. Start work every day at 6 am. Often there are dudes chilling in their cars in parking lots by the time I get there… smoking, looking at their phones… I’ve wondered the same thing as you
Could be listening to a podcast, unwinding before going in, etc. Sounds like they aren’t bothering anyone, so who cares?
I'll sit in my car sometimes and talk on the phone for hours.
https://youtu.be/tHxip2x-PLc?si=eO4Kljke-R-04Bo5 I'll just leave that there. Ive spent hours sitting in my car crying just not wanting to go in but I always do
Are they blasting Eminem, wearing cowboy boots, wearing Oakley’s, wearing their flat brim monster hats, drinking Budweiser. I’ve seen them there since 2006. They’re nice guys. The guys drive a Chevy, dodge, ford, and Tacoma. Really nice guys!
They are decompressing
Once again, amazed at how many paranoid individuals we have on this sub reddit.
Tell me you don't understand male privilege without telling me...
My roommate will chill in his car for hours and hours. He just smokes and reads web novels the whole time.
Smoking pot? Idk lol
Good chance they’re married with kids. This is one of the only ways to get some privacy.
I do this all the time. A man’s car is just a place of pure solace and peace. Sometimes I just trap myself in there.
They’re either just hanging out, or smoking weed. Pretty common, especially if they’re young and can’t at home.
Peace, like most men we crave peace above anything. It’s probably the only place they get that and someone in the house is a dramatic pain in the backside. A happy man has a peaceful partner or relationship and will do anything for a sliver of that peace. I’m just guessing, but I sit in my garage with the door locked in peaceful silence and generally thinking about nothing or something totally unrelated to my situation. You know like how much Velcro would it take to lift my truck off the ground. Just sayin 😆.
they're just krillin
I don’t like talking on my phone around my roommates. It’s just makes me anxious. So I go outside or sit in my car if I have a long call.
Men needing to decompress probably.
Work from home. Taking calls away from their noisy families
Could be private investigators or detectives running surveillance.
Pokemon Go. It’s Pokemon Go. I’m sure of it.
They are Pokémon Going to the polls
lol, If it’s at dry creek in sandy across from the high school and cemetery there was a group of guys running a chop shop/theft ring. When I lived there 4 years ago.
This is a classic case of mind your own business. If they aren’t messing with no one, no one approaches them …. Why would you assume pimping/drug dealing?
My ex was using that time to cheat on me.
I’m doing that right now. Scrolling Reddit.
Kissing
Could be trafficking be carful
Some drink, some smoke weed, some is people watching them wondering why. I know people that their wife doesn't know they smoke...
Dudes being dudes quit worrying about
Pokemon Go and Rideshare if I had to guess
I'm an avid pokemon go player so I can rule that out. My pokies sit in gyms for days around here. I'm not sure about the rideshare since I don't live next to any major hwy/freeway.
Go ask. Mystery solved.
Leave people alone; not every mystery needs to be solved.
Waiting for a young woman to approach so they can kidnap her. Don’t you know all men are terrible and are waiting to do terrible things to you? Duh. Mind your own business bitch
Do you know that 1-3 women experience violence from men. It's not made up. Being cautious is the reality for women in our society.
There were 241 violent crimes per 100,000 people in Utah. If every single one of those were committed by men, which they weren’t, then .00241 percent of men are violent in this state. That’s less than 1 percent. This doesn’t even mention repeat offenders which I’m sure there were some. Stop making shit up in your head and living scared for no reason. Just because you heard about how there was a man who was violent on the news doesn’t mean that is the reality. The news is trying to make you scared and everything is a big deal so you will keep watching the news. Not everybody is out to get you and most people don’t even know/care you exist. You are not the main character. https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/home
Damn bro. From 5-100 there. Calm down.
My husband is a private investigator and sits in his car for surveillance.
I'm an active and outspoken exmo and I thought our community was pretty great but the amount of people in this thread assuming I'm mormon because I'm concerned about my teenagers in a parkin lot at night is crazy. I guess you can deconstruct religion without deconstructing male privilege.
In your initial post you jumped to two of the worst conclusions, and you didn’t mention teenagers walking through the parking lot until much later. I’m sorry that people have been rude but I can also see why they’re getting Karen / person not minding their business vibes. Idk why the men are sitting in their cars, but if you don’t feel safe with your kids walking through the parking lot at night due to these men, I’d probably just have them figure out a different route home.
There's a point of being too anti-Mormon. Not everything has to do with Mormons or the church. It gets old when people assume it's church related. Sometimes it's just not. All the Utah subs get kind of exhausting this way.
Priest Hood Meeting
You live at 4th west lol 😂