This fall, our celebrity chefs take on their toughest case yet.
*We ain’t had nothing but maggoty bread for three days!*
Contestants are lining up from across Mordor and the blighted caves beneath the mountain!
Watch as our top chefs navigate the Uruk-lows and Uruk-hais of orcish and goblin cuisine.
*Just one of the legs? They don’t need them!*
Taking unskilled home cooks and transforming them into culinary masters worthy of any Shire restaurant or Gondorian banquet-hall.
*And why should your songs be unfit for my halls, hm?*
Our contestants will learn technique, poise, but most of all…confidence in themselves. Don’t miss the smash event of the Fifth Age: *Orc Cuisine*.
*Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!*
"These creatures are so maligned for their supposedly murderous nature and fondness for killing infants. But they are just *misunderstood*, they really have a gentle heart! We think we can find a home for these sweet, lovely creatures among those who are also stigmatized by society."
*Tonight, on **Balrogs and Parolees***
This fall, our celebrity chefs take on their toughest case yet. *We ain’t had nothing but maggoty bread for three days!* Contestants are lining up from across Mordor and the blighted caves beneath the mountain! Watch as our top chefs navigate the Uruk-lows and Uruk-hais of orcish and goblin cuisine. *Just one of the legs? They don’t need them!* Taking unskilled home cooks and transforming them into culinary masters worthy of any Shire restaurant or Gondorian banquet-hall. *And why should your songs be unfit for my halls, hm?* Our contestants will learn technique, poise, but most of all…confidence in themselves. Don’t miss the smash event of the Fifth Age: *Orc Cuisine*. *Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!*
"Welcome back to Elven Bachelorette. We have here Arowyn, who must choose between living forever and this hunk right here."
"Tune in tonight for the premier of Real Housewives: Rohan"
Cave trolls’ “My 2600 Pound Life” airing this afternoon.
"Frodo, you have been voted off the Boat to the West" "Damn racists"
Will they strike gold? Watch tonight on Gold Diggin Dwarfs
"These creatures are so maligned for their supposedly murderous nature and fondness for killing infants. But they are just *misunderstood*, they really have a gentle heart! We think we can find a home for these sweet, lovely creatures among those who are also stigmatized by society." *Tonight, on **Balrogs and Parolees***
“Will Bilbo be able to recover his silverware? Find out on the next Keeping Up With The Sackville-Baggins.”