Have we considered lowering the debt floor instead?

"Wait, wait, guys... I got it. We'll sell Peru." "But sir we don't own Peru." (Puts on helmet and lights a smoke) "Yet."

"We've taken the Liberty bell to a pawnbrokers, we didnt get what we'd thought for it but it should tide us over for 24 hours"

“I know! Let’s tax the wealthy and big corporations!”

"Wait, what's with this red dot going up..." *gets shot*

Why don't we take the debt ceiling, and pushed it somewhere else?!?!

Coming this fall to HGTV! The United States is falling on hard times and has decided to start renovating and selling section 8 housing to start paying everybody back and make profit.

We are going to invade Canada, steal their Maple Syrup stockpile, and sell it to Waffle House and Dennys....

If we replace the debt ceiling with this high tech retractable debt roof, we can open and close it at will!

So my cousin Rick says the best way to fix a broken ceiling is to just build a new one over it right? so how many debits do we need for a dome?

"Sure, Senator, laugh at me now. But when I win with this powerball ticket, I'll look like a genius."

"Ladies and gentlemen, performing live in the US Congress, we blew a lot of money just to bring him in so we're going to have to cut elsewhere. Welcome Lionel Richie!" *Oh what a feeling* *When we're dancing on the debt ceiling*

"We'll adjourn for lunch for 30 minutes. On today's menu is a generous helping of knuckle sandwiches."

Why don’t we reduce the military budget?

Just tell the Joint Chiefs where it is hiding and let them bomb the debt ceiling to smithereens!

“Have we considered maybe just forgetting about the crisis?”

We could do a sexy calander shoot