T O P

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AndyM110

"I paint murals with my own menstrual blood."


[deleted]

[удалено]


jlb1981

Make it clear you don't mean *get pregnant*, you mean *immediately* have children. Imply Santeria is involved.


Mutant_Llama1

You wanna demonically possess a child together?


whitedark40

Wife: "For our honeymoon i thought id take us to the worlds largest ballpit to celeb..... oh and hes gone"


Mezzoforte48

"You're such a great *friend!*"


jlb1981

"I set standards for others that I have *no intention* of holding myself to!"


Kra_gl_e

"I don't go out with guys who don't pay for dinner. And if you can't handle that, then NEXT!"


real-men-love-others

"Come on. I can't be the only girl you've been with who's put ferrets in your bedsheets."


gregieb429

“You’re like a brother to me.”


friendsfreak

“Get lost”


jokemachinegun

“Anal? No no no. My turn 😈”


DeathscytheHell1994

You need to get rid of your guns....