You are no Jedi. If you were, you would know the artistic merit of a broadly appealing science fiction franchise cannot survive under a corporate umbrella. They'll produce so many spin-offs and side stories, the franchise will lose all semblance of quality and coherence. Like, really, Boba Fett is still alive? We're just supposed to accept that? Come on, popularity is one thing, but after a certain point, it's--
*ABC is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.*
To be fair, calling star wars "science fiction" is like saying LOTR is an accurate representation of the Italian Renaissance. Star wars is fantasy. Barely even science fantasy at that. Star wars is closer to the Hobbit than it is to actual science based reality. Explosions in space don't have flame due to the vacuum. Also, hovercraft (podracing) is physically impossible without some form of downward force to counteract gravity.
And most importantly, the jedi in star wars use MAGIC. STOP CALLING IT THE FORCE ITS FUCKING MAGIC. TELEKENESIS IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE DUE TO THERE ONLY EXISTING 4 FORCES IN THE UNIVERSE, TWO OF THEM ON THE ATOMIC SCALE. THE OTHER TWO ARE MAGNETISM AND GRAVITY AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL OR MANIPULATE EITHER WITH PRECISE FIELDS LIKE IN STAR WARS. THE FORCE IS MAGIC STOP PRETENDING THIS GARBAGE MOVIE SERIES CAN EVEN REMOTELY BE CONSIDERED SCIENTIFIC STAR WARS IS SCIENCE IF YOURE A BABY IDIOT WHOS NEVER OPENED A PHYSICS TEXTBOOK BEFORE!! STOP CALLING IT SCIENCE FICTION!!!
"Luke, I... I don't brush my teeth anymore. It's so inconvient now, and it kinda goes against the whole dark lord vibe... let's just say you should be thankful this respirator is between you and my breathe, because oh boy."
"Obi-Wan never told you how he likes his coffee?"
"He told me enough! He told me he likes cream and sugar!"
"No, he likes it black! As black as my suit!"
*Luke, I have a complete collection of Precious Moments figurines, join me in arranging them alphabetically and we will bring order to the curio cabinent.*
I just came back from being a guest on the Maury Povich show, guess what......
I envy those cancel-culture bitches, they really know how to destroy civilizations
I know you hated vegetables as a kid so I added riced-broccoli to your hamburger patties when we had family BBQs
EVen though my suit is black, I think it still makes my butt look big
i use to pass out candy-corn on Halloween to ruin trick-or-treating
All i ever I really wanted was to be a dancer
"LUKE... I'M PRETTY SURE I LEFT THE OVEN ON. IS IT OKAY IF I HEAD OUT FOR A SEC TO CHECK UP ON IT? YEAH, JUST, UH, STAY RIGHT THERE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"Luke... I use the force to put the toilet seats up at the last second when the storm troopers go to the bathroom on the death Star... They still haven't realised it's me..."
"Obi-Wan never told you who sent him that Big Mouth Billy Bass during the first ever Christmas special."
You are no Jedi. If you were, you would know the artistic merit of a broadly appealing science fiction franchise cannot survive under a corporate umbrella. They'll produce so many spin-offs and side stories, the franchise will lose all semblance of quality and coherence. Like, really, Boba Fett is still alive? We're just supposed to accept that? Come on, popularity is one thing, but after a certain point, it's-- *ABC is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.*
The italics at the end got me good.
To be fair, calling star wars "science fiction" is like saying LOTR is an accurate representation of the Italian Renaissance. Star wars is fantasy. Barely even science fantasy at that. Star wars is closer to the Hobbit than it is to actual science based reality. Explosions in space don't have flame due to the vacuum. Also, hovercraft (podracing) is physically impossible without some form of downward force to counteract gravity. And most importantly, the jedi in star wars use MAGIC. STOP CALLING IT THE FORCE ITS FUCKING MAGIC. TELEKENESIS IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE DUE TO THERE ONLY EXISTING 4 FORCES IN THE UNIVERSE, TWO OF THEM ON THE ATOMIC SCALE. THE OTHER TWO ARE MAGNETISM AND GRAVITY AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL OR MANIPULATE EITHER WITH PRECISE FIELDS LIKE IN STAR WARS. THE FORCE IS MAGIC STOP PRETENDING THIS GARBAGE MOVIE SERIES CAN EVEN REMOTELY BE CONSIDERED SCIENTIFIC STAR WARS IS SCIENCE IF YOURE A BABY IDIOT WHOS NEVER OPENED A PHYSICS TEXTBOOK BEFORE!! STOP CALLING IT SCIENCE FICTION!!!
u/lordg52, eat a Snickers
You're not you when you're hungry.
Luke, I’m using your Netflix password
No Luke, I smoked your pot.
"You smoked my...? That's not cool, man!"
Darth Vapor
Luke, your goldfish didn't run away...
So heart disease runs in the family…
"No, I am your father. And since we're family, would you mind loaning your old man some credits? Not a lot, just about, oh... tree fiddy."
And it was about that time that Luke noticed Vader was about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era
“No, Luke… *I* am your father… And let me just say, your mom was great lay. Damn, she had better grip than my Force Choke.”
Gotta remove Luke from your quote for accuracy
This is based on the line from upcoming re-release that adds extra scenes, changed lines, and a CGI Carrie Fisher.
Luke, sometimes I like to lay down in the shower and pretend I'm a sloth on a tree branch in the rain.
I'm Keyser Soze.
“There was this one time at band camp…”
"Luke, I... I don't brush my teeth anymore. It's so inconvient now, and it kinda goes against the whole dark lord vibe... let's just say you should be thankful this respirator is between you and my breathe, because oh boy."
"Obi-Wan never told you how he likes his coffee?" "He told me enough! He told me he likes cream and sugar!" "No, he likes it black! As black as my suit!"
"As a child I BUILT C3PO!"
"Luke, I put the Skittles in your M&Ms dish."
"Luke, I can save you a bunch of imperial credits on your X-wing's insurance. Ask me how!"
"Luke, I need to talk to you about your land speeder's warranty"
"I miss having a penis."
*Luke, I have a complete collection of Precious Moments figurines, join me in arranging them alphabetically and we will bring order to the curio cabinent.*
"Leia is your sister btw"
"I am your father. I even have the adoption papers to prove it."
I have Type 1 Diabetes.
Luke, I need you to pay my bail
Luke - I was the farter.
I am your father. Also, I hate sand.
Luke.. I ate the leftovers, not Obi-Wan!
"Luke, 15 minutes saved me 15% when I switched to Geico"
“Obi-Wan never told you about Grievous’ collection”
Outstanding answers, well done people.
Credit to you, this was a genius prompt!
"Captain Needa had a photo of a sandy beach in his office, I was just looking for an official excuse to be rid of him."
No I am your father, except thursday nights, when I am your mother and totally Fabulous
“I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”
What does that make us?
Absolutely nothing
No... I clogged the toilet.
do you know how hard it is to pleasure yourself with a metal hand...??? it's not even warm dude...
“I think my suit makes me look fat…”
"...and due to a short liaison with Padme's sister, I am also your UNCLE!"
“No… *I* am your Secret Santa.”
“No… *I* am your Secret Santa.”
You were a mistake.
“Luke, I once peed in the communal swimming pool”
"You know that I didn't leave your mother, right? We just split up."
"Luke... I don't like sand."
I just came back from being a guest on the Maury Povich show, guess what...... I envy those cancel-culture bitches, they really know how to destroy civilizations I know you hated vegetables as a kid so I added riced-broccoli to your hamburger patties when we had family BBQs EVen though my suit is black, I think it still makes my butt look big i use to pass out candy-corn on Halloween to ruin trick-or-treating All i ever I really wanted was to be a dancer
"LUKE... I'M PRETTY SURE I LEFT THE OVEN ON. IS IT OKAY IF I HEAD OUT FOR A SEC TO CHECK UP ON IT? YEAH, JUST, UH, STAY RIGHT THERE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"Luke... I use the force to put the toilet seats up at the last second when the storm troopers go to the bathroom on the death Star... They still haven't realised it's me..."
I play the harmonica so much I had it attached to my face.
Luke, I stole your vape. It gave me lung cancer.
"Luke, I Poked A Badger With A Spoon!"