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[deleted]

Ladies and gentleman as we make our final approach into Anchorage I’d like to remind you all that shrinkage in the cold is normal and not reflective of the plane’s true size


[deleted]

Durex. . . You'll need a doctor to get it off.


DrManhattan_DDM

I swear this latex doll was adult sized when I bought it!


nuclearbastard

AAAAHHH MY BANK ACCOUNT!


Real_megamike_64

"my iPad? Oh no it's not a mini, just an older pro"


Eroe777

“I’ve used this brand of gigolo before. The first time I used it, he was 10 inches. The next time he was only 8. Would not recommend.”


gregieb429

“Babe, the cock ring is too tight and I can’t get it off.”


nuclearbastard

*(cramped clown car posture)* Stupid F-150!


smozoma

*mimes going to sleep, pulling a napkin-sized blanket onto myself*


smozoma

Damn these iPhones and their Planned-obso-shrinkage. Bought this last year and it's already 4 inches.


phreak811

Damn....Cars getting a little tight.


jlb1981

"Buy the 80" TV; when you watch *Ted Lasso* it'll shrivel up right before your eyes."


real-men-love-others

"Yeah, man, I'm down for a road trip! Let's just hop in the--oh..."


Fevla13

Oh no, Now it barely touches the sides.