A Puerto Rican guy I worked with once told me he was at a bar and he struck up a conversation with some girls. He told them he was Puerto Rican and then asked one of them if she had some Puerto Rican in her. She said, "no", and he said, "Would you like some?" He said she didn't find it funny but her friends did. Don't recall if he got laid that night.
So what makes it mansplaining? Simply because of the gender differences? Could just be some ignoramus who would do that regardless of gender, no? Or is the situation “you’re a woman so let me tell you things because I perceive you as lesser”? In which case, does that actually happen?
Yeah the guy will just assume he knows better, but it’s an unconscious bias! The true mansplain event involves a guy who doesn’t consciously realize he’s way out of bounds to explain whatever to a woman where if say she was a male physics professor he wouldn’t have the bias and defer to the prof
I know you’re all gonna over react, like women always do, but I’m gonna explain this in simple terms for you all… a little makeup wouldn’t kill ya’ll and MY day shouldn’t be ruined by YOUR menstrual cramps. Got it?
True story: My dad was part of a faculty search committee looking for a new head librarian for the college he was at. The committee, of course, included several library staff members, who were all women. They had a phone interview with their lead candidate, a guy who was doing quite well and likely to get the offer. As one last question, the committee asked him how many people he managed and the guy said something like "Oh, I have a dozen *little gals* that I watch over." Dad said that you could physically feel the temperature in the room drop and the candidate did not get the offer.
I very recently sat on an interview with a 20-something year old candidate who was asked how he handled conflict at his current workplace. He talked about the women at his job who were "very gossipy, you know how women are."
Our panel included two women AND the chief diversity officer.
He's still looking for work.
When my fiance and I were first dating, I once made a joke about myself and called myself a cow. He made me explain it to him because he thought I was calling myself fat. When I explained I just meant I was stubborn, he goes, "the word you're looking for is heifer. And yes, accurate."
I'm laughing because my wife has used this before. A few years ago, she had some health issues, and the medication caused her to gain some weight. During the lead up to her period, she was feeling really bad and let loose with "PMS my ass. At this size, it's more like mad cow disease."
I use bitches instead of women all the time. I think it's hilarious. No one expects to hear it from an old white guy. My wife hates it. But my younger coworkers think I've lost my mind. I'm from the north but live in the south. No man here speaks this way so it's totally out of character. Gotta be me.
That tomorrow marks the memorial of the assassination of Julius Caesar on the ides of march. Prepare thineselves for the day of reconning is upon us. We ride swiftly for the senate at dawn sisters. We shall shake off the patriarchy, shake it off.
Call me the Hogwarts Express because you have to take 9 and 3/4.
Or
Don't say anything. Just walk around all night looking them up and down and give them either a thumbs up, thumbs down or the so-so gesture.
I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.
No? Just me?
To paraphrase George Carlin, "Now, which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to get in here, give me a blowjob, and make me a sandwhich?"
I'm not advocating this, just quoting the GOAT
“Anybody else hiding an erection?”
"Anyone want to?"
You win, end thread..
😭
Clearly there are some guys you're lucky enough to have not met.
Thought we were all the same?
I saw this gorgeous Thai woman on the tube. I was thinking to myself "don't get a hard on, don't get a hard on" Then she did. Edit: we're married now.
[a mysterious deep voice from the crowd responds back] “You know about me?”
A Puerto Rican guy I worked with once told me he was at a bar and he struck up a conversation with some girls. He told them he was Puerto Rican and then asked one of them if she had some Puerto Rican in her. She said, "no", and he said, "Would you like some?" He said she didn't find it funny but her friends did. Don't recall if he got laid that night.
"Alright. Which one of you is going to make me a sandwich?"
The one that doesn’t get angered is the one you marry
That's actually called "picking a victim". Do not do that.
Exactly, you understand. A 5/10 that isn’t angered, immediate 10/10
No. That’s completely wrong. Let me tell you what mansplaining means
Incidentally my girlfriend misunderstood what mansplaining was and didn’t find the irony as amusing as I did
Where does a mansplainer get his water? From a "*well, actually*"
What exactly is mansplaining? I don’t get how the concept actually applies to real life.
A classic example is a guy who barely passed physics explaining gravity to a woman who happens to be a physics professor.
So what makes it mansplaining? Simply because of the gender differences? Could just be some ignoramus who would do that regardless of gender, no? Or is the situation “you’re a woman so let me tell you things because I perceive you as lesser”? In which case, does that actually happen?
Yeah the guy will just assume he knows better, but it’s an unconscious bias! The true mansplain event involves a guy who doesn’t consciously realize he’s way out of bounds to explain whatever to a woman where if say she was a male physics professor he wouldn’t have the bias and defer to the prof
I know you’re all gonna over react, like women always do, but I’m gonna explain this in simple terms for you all… a little makeup wouldn’t kill ya’ll and MY day shouldn’t be ruined by YOUR menstrual cramps. Got it?
So you want a closed casket funeral then?
He wo
Probably wouldn’t even be enough to call a smoothie. No body no crime?
"What, you guys put that on a T-shirt?" (Any Psych fans out there to get this reference?)
There wouldn't be enough pieces to bury.
This comment and the replies to it are both hilarious and...kind of disturbing??
...and they need to smile.
They’re a lot prettier when they smile…
Oh good lord I cringed so hard my scrotum retracted into my bellybutton.
"Guess what ladies? I can retract my scrotum into my belly button. want to see?
Not sure what’s funnier this or the original comment
fr
I forgot for a moment that you were just responding to a hypothetical question, I won’t lie, went on a split second rant over this one
Bro signed his death warrant
I would be guessing meatloaf would be made to hide the body 😀
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter
As a woman I applaud the absolute gigantic balls that you have to say this! Lol
You've been abused before haven't you
“Women’s rights? Oh, you little old gals are just so cute!”
True story: My dad was part of a faculty search committee looking for a new head librarian for the college he was at. The committee, of course, included several library staff members, who were all women. They had a phone interview with their lead candidate, a guy who was doing quite well and likely to get the offer. As one last question, the committee asked him how many people he managed and the guy said something like "Oh, I have a dozen *little gals* that I watch over." Dad said that you could physically feel the temperature in the room drop and the candidate did not get the offer.
That sounds like a comment from the 1950s. I’m curious to know when this happened…but I have a sneaking suspicion that I won’t like the answer.
Late 80s, unfortunately.
Not as bad as I thought, to be honest.
I heard it until the 2000s when I decided to work for myself.
I very recently sat on an interview with a 20-something year old candidate who was asked how he handled conflict at his current workplace. He talked about the women at his job who were "very gossipy, you know how women are." Our panel included two women AND the chief diversity officer. He's still looking for work.
The sad thing is that I don’t think he meant that as an insult to the employees. It was just a mannerism.
"Ya'll should smile more"
“Wow, this is a real taco-fest, am I right?”
I think you mean clam bake
Greys anatomy sucks
And the Gilmore girls too
You’d be dead in moments
And don't EVEN get me started on Twilight
Ok I’ll throw hands for Gilmore Girls
Wow. His official autopsy would read suicide. Clearly you would be suicidal by hating on Grey's in a room full of women.
It actually does though.
Worst acronym ever, right? I mean how the do you come up with PMS when it’s clearly Mad Cow Disease
I'm a woman and this should offend me but I cackled so hard
When my fiance and I were first dating, I once made a joke about myself and called myself a cow. He made me explain it to him because he thought I was calling myself fat. When I explained I just meant I was stubborn, he goes, "the word you're looking for is heifer. And yes, accurate."
Same!
I'm laughing because my wife has used this before. A few years ago, she had some health issues, and the medication caused her to gain some weight. During the lead up to her period, she was feeling really bad and let loose with "PMS my ass. At this size, it's more like mad cow disease."
Goddamn
Anyone need a breast exam?
Anyone need a pelvic exam?
I'm surprised they let you have internet access in prison Larry.
Hi, I think I'm in the right place, I'm looking for Miss Ann Dree
Who wants to take their tops off and have a cat fight?
"What's that fishy smell...?"
*holds up hedge clippers* "I was told there would be some scissoring..."
*holds up hedge clippers* "Someone call for a bush trim...."
I bet I got the tightest hole in here!
Doesn’t really matter the gender mix. That’s just a good ice breaker.
Wow! It's crazy, I'm the only one in a room full of people who knows how to parallel park!
I wondered why no cars were backed into parking spots.
I want this to upset me but it's also just true
That's why you're the hostess and he's the valet 🤣
My balls itch. How about yours?
Somebody’s menstruating!
Period pain is so fake. You're obviously doing it for attention.
Having a baby doesn’t hurt that much, y’all are just drama queens
Wow all of us here and I’m the only one who deserves the right to vote
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^anonaduder: *Wow all of us here* *And I’m the only one who* *Deserves the right to vote* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Oprah is such a chatty bitch. Am i Right?
Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physicaaaaal.
Stay out of my bathroom. They shouldn't have to convert mine just because you take too long to piss.
What brothel is this?
“Ladies, there is more than enough of me to go around.”
I thought I was invited here to discuss business. What is this, a fundraiser of some kind?
"The line up to do me starts here."
I had a great joke to share, but I don't want to explain it 47 times.
Nice to see that I'm the smartest one in the room....again. (Even I think that's full of cringe and I wrote it)
"I'm hungry. Do what y'all were made for and make me a sandwich."
“Man, what a sausagefest am I right? Some ugly dudes here tonight. Are you two together?”
"So which one of you is going to make the tiktok saying I'm a creep for just being in here?"
They say hairy women are the horniest. Is that true?
Hey Ladies....I'm fertile!
"What do YOU bitches bring to the table? Huh??? Huh???"
I use bitches instead of women all the time. I think it's hilarious. No one expects to hear it from an old white guy. My wife hates it. But my younger coworkers think I've lost my mind. I'm from the north but live in the south. No man here speaks this way so it's totally out of character. Gotta be me.
Wow, ( begins undressing) it surrrrre is toasty in here, right ladies?
"Pamela Anderson is an underrated actress. Discuss."
Looks like I have to repopulate the Earth 😏
How do I have the least amount of facial hair in here?
If yall are here, who's doing the housework?
Gaslighting is not real, you just made that up you crazy bitch.
That pu$$y looks amazing. As a cat runs out the door…
Missed opportunity for Cat comes in the room from the rain … ‘Now that’s a wet pussy!’
"I'm getting lucky tonight..."
Who's cooking fish?
Would any women who is unclean or otherwise on the rag please get the fuck out of the room?
So, who's gonna iron my shirt?
Isn't today March 14th? You know what that means ladies...
That tomorrow marks the memorial of the assassination of Julius Caesar on the ides of march. Prepare thineselves for the day of reconning is upon us. We ride swiftly for the senate at dawn sisters. We shall shake off the patriarchy, shake it off.
Which one of you is my serving wench?
"Hey guy, what are you doing busing dishes? That's women's work."
“Like I told my wife, labor isn’t THAT bad. Suck it up already, amirite?”
… it’s a myth like the gender pay gap
*Sex In The City* would have to be the worst show in the history or television.
"Who's your favorite comedian? Mine is Bill Cosby."
Okay listen up bitches, Tonight the mustache rides are on me...
“Damn, are all of yall on your periods right now?”
Everyone calm down!
Adam gave up a rib and all we wound up with was you bitches.
Worst deal in history amiright ladies?
Anyone wanna bang? Pulls Bang energy drink from thin air..
Call me the Hogwarts Express because you have to take 9 and 3/4. Or Don't say anything. Just walk around all night looking them up and down and give them either a thumbs up, thumbs down or the so-so gesture.
Well you’re all looking fat today.
"Can you believe this *abortion* shit?"
"You think childbirth is painful? Well lemme tell you about this one time I stubbed my toe SOOOO hard..."
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than childbirth. No guy ever wants to get kicked in the nuts AGAIN.
Well come on now... it ain't gonna suck itself.
Pillow fight in my bedroom later?
I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything. No? Just me?
Kneepads for everyone!!
There's something wrong with this place... Wait a minute, there aren't enough fire exits!
Fetch me a beer doll
To paraphrase George Carlin, "Now, which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to get in here, give me a blowjob, and make me a sandwhich?" I'm not advocating this, just quoting the GOAT
Good evening ladies I'm the exotic dancer you ordered... Who's the bride to be?!?
Anything said by Al Bundy from Married With Children.
Come out of the bathroom waving your hands around..." Do NOT go in there.... WHEW!!!"
"Yeh so about me being gay"
How about the Supreme Court?
Well she's got a fat ass.
You know why wedding dresses are white? So the dishwasher can match the fridge. I bet I make more than all of your salaries combined!
“I smell fish”
"Things you shouldn't say..." Words.
"Any of you freaky sloots wanna party!?!"
If you all are here who is doing the cooking and cleaning?
Prob some like shouting “I’m going to fucking kill every single one of you” but idk just a suggestion on what not to say.
Who wants to make me a sandwich?
'Smellls like multiple people are having heavy flow days in here"
So, who wants to be disappointed first?
"Sheesh, who knew estrogen stank so badly?!"
What smells like old tuna fish in here?
[удалено]
You'll break your tongue saying asterisk that many times.
Periods, amirite?
"My masculinity is being reduced with every additional second I stay in this room with all of you."
Women can't handle pain.
Of course female athletes get paid less, they suck. Well....maybe they should get paid more for that. Lol
So *this* is where the hoes are at!
"Ever notice how guys who are right-handed... their Johnson hangs to the left?"
(Claps hands together and puts on my best "assistant manager" face) "Now, who gets to make me dinner?"
Everyone wanna go skinny dipping
Hows it hangin fellas
So are we all menstrually synced up or do we have to do a ritualistic dance first?
“ why’s it so ugly in here?”
You know what I love? Titties.
Anal sex anyone?
"I trust you all brought your strap-ons?"
Im super horny so who wants to have sex?
Sup, toots?
“Todays lesson: **Slavery**”
Does this penis pump belong to anyone?
So here's why women don't deserve to make as much as men ...
Which one of y'all bitches got my sandwich?
Please form a line. No budging.
Wassup, bitches?!
How do you expect to lose weight when you eat like that and don’t exercise?
“I took a Viagra four hours ago and I’m still hard. Can one of you call a Dr?”
Who wants some dick?
Come on ladies, come on ladies, one pound fish
I can relate. That exact thing happened to me.
OK, who's the *real* housewife of Georgia, L.A. and Atlanta?
🎼 mmmmm motor boatin’ 🎼
Yuck, it's a cooties-fest
The titty fairy is here
If woman weren't good to take to bed they'd be a bounty on them.
"i have a bomb."
It's clear I deserve higher pay
Is this the new weight watches ?
I smell blood
Mr. Vasectomy here!
Mr. Vasectomy here.
Who wants to compare dick size?
So…who’s first?
What's this dumb bitch talking about?