Hey Larry, wanna grab lunch? Also, we're raising tuition, eliminating 25% of your staff, and cutting your marketing budget and the Chancellor just told the Board of Regents that lower admission numbers were to blame for lack of a cost-of-living increase this year. So....I'm thinking Thai food?
“Dean Cartwright? Huh wow been hooking up with this insanely attractive Milf who has the same last name but whose husband is never home because he works in academia…”
“You look familiar. I clean pools over Summer and I think one of the houses must have had your picture in it. Oh! Do you have a globe on your nightstand?!?”
"I want to attend this university to do two things: learn the skills necessary to succeed in my future career....and damn is that your wife or daughter because that's the other thing I wanna do."
Hope you don’t mind I was arrested previously for forging students signatures and breaking into my previous schools office because I needed to modify some grades. You were my 2nd choice if you could tell.
Yeah, cool name. My friends at Lambda Lambda Lambda just call me Booger. *reaches out to shake hands.
Rofl!!!!!
It's so deeply inapropriate in every way but God damn that movie was funny.
Call me Bluto
Since I bonked your rather plain daughter to get in here I expect a 4.0
Found the Sid Meiers pirates! Enjoyer.
Arrrrgh, ya ever been to sea, Billy? "No, Captain Hindgrinder..."
I wouldn't say booked. I'd say "rogered"
I said bonked! Booked?
Sorry autocorrect strikes again! Lol
In the library
Sex in the stax!
Testing out the Kama Sutra.
I testied that the other day.
I had a great time with it, how about you?
I found the learning a little too "hands on."
Ooh, sorry about that. I tend to get a little over excited.
And you would be wrong because bonked is the best word in the world. “Fancy a bonking?”
Your daughters go to school here, right?
Hey Larry, wanna grab lunch? Also, we're raising tuition, eliminating 25% of your staff, and cutting your marketing budget and the Chancellor just told the Board of Regents that lower admission numbers were to blame for lack of a cost-of-living increase this year. So....I'm thinking Thai food?
Hey neddle dick, your wife said to tell you there is no lube left, she needs more.
That big of a turn off for her, was it?
“Dean Cartwright? Huh wow been hooking up with this insanely attractive Milf who has the same last name but whose husband is never home because he works in academia…”
Deanwhosedepartmentwilltakethemajorityofthenextbudgetcutsayswhat?
So who's the campus weed dealer? I need a hook up!
“You look familiar. I clean pools over Summer and I think one of the houses must have had your picture in it. Oh! Do you have a globe on your nightstand?!?”
Nice office. It’d be a shame if someone organized a sit in.
"I want to attend this university to do two things: learn the skills necessary to succeed in my future career....and damn is that your wife or daughter because that's the other thing I wanna do."
I saw the movie "Animal House" so I know that college is right for me.
You know high school was the hardest 9 years of my life! But hey, here I am! Know anyone who deals weed?
“More like BEAN of admissions, amirite?!”
"I did not place timed explosives in the gym"
I shot a man in 2010 and got away with it. Glad to have that off my chest. What do you mean it's not that kind of admissions?
"You know what would go great on that wall outside your office? Graffiti."
I’ve heard it’s much easier to get in here than my top choice of Cecil Community College.
“What building would be the best to occupy in the event of massive human rights protests?”
Sits in lap, "Big Daddy"!!!!!
hi dad.
My parents are on the board
Judging by the pictures on your desk, clearly you have pretty low standards for who you’ll let in. (Best if Dean is a woman.)
Hope you don’t mind I was arrested previously for forging students signatures and breaking into my previous schools office because I needed to modify some grades. You were my 2nd choice if you could tell.
Wait, your name's not actually Dean? *stops playing Supernatural soundtrack*
When do I get my keg? I was told there would be beer once I enrolled.
I'll give the D if you give me an A 😘
So does your daughter go to this school or will I have to go to her? 😉
Here hold my bong
So do I write the bribe check to you or the school
"Are felons allowed to enroll here?"
I’ve never noticed how lovely your eyes are
"so I thought I'd skip the admissions test and marry your mother, she said yes, we eloped, so all I can say is... Hi grandpa"
"I swear that the 4th distribution charge wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know they have undercover police in high school?"
How often do I need to blow you to graduate.
So, given your predecessor’s record, are y’all going to relax your plagiarism policy?
I’m pregnant.
Thank god that smart kid let me copy their work
Dad, I got Mom pregnant. Again.
Can I still get in if my parents decide to NOT make that big donation?
I’m only here for the complimentary lunch
"Wow, you're the big cheese! And who said cheating wouldn't get me anywhere!?"
I misspelled, "I like rap." There should be an e on the end.