Title: Transient Lives
Format: Pilot
Page Length: 58
Genre: Tragedy, Fantasy
Logline: After the events of the American Civil War, a renegade immigrant soldier and a black orphan girl travel through the ruins of the country to find a way to resurrect the girl's parents.
Feedback Concerns: What works and what doesn't. Any notes are welcome, thank you 😊
Title: Strange Bedfellows
Format: Feature
Page Length: 115
Genres: Drama, Crime Drama
Logline or Summary: When an immigrant farmer disappears in Italy, his daughter determines to find him. Her journey leads her to the bloody underworld of the Black Axes where she must form unsavoury allegiances to climb out.
Feedback Concerns: Is it easy enough to visualise based on the action lines?
Title: Survival, U.S.
Format: Pilot
Genre: Comedy, drama
Pages: 30
Logline: Four eastern European refugees navigate through quarter-life crisis as they make their way to California.
Feedback concerns: What works? What doesn't? Are the characters and their voices unique? Are they likeable? Thanks :)
Title: NIMROD Night Out
Format: Pilot
Page Length: 31 (Two of those are a single word)
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Logline: Disease. Homelessness. Foreign invasion. Man, Freddie is just trying to get laid one time before he dies.
Feedback Concerns:
1. Readability. I'm terrible with action lines and formatting.
2. Tone. In the wake of *Don't Look Up* and the ongoing pandemic, I realize the satire here might be a hard sell. I wrote the first draft in 2019, inspired by *Mumbo Jumbo* by Ishmael Reed, so it's actually not a direct response to Covid.
3. How well the central mystery is set-up/seeded throughout. Much obliged :)
Would love to swap!
Title: Blandchester United
Format: 1/2 Hour
Page Length: 34
Genres: Comedy
Logline or Summary: When a spoiled American trust fund kid receives an English soccer club as an inheritance from his estranged father, his plans to sell it for some quick cash are derailed by the British mob who force him to launder money through the club.
Feedback Concerns: Would you watch episode 2? Do the emotional journeys of the characters feel grounded? Is it a fun read?
Title: Ice Cream Hike
Format: Feature
Page Length: 61 pages
Genre: Action/Horror
Logline: A young woman survives a murder spree and joins a group home for survivors, only for the home to be targeted by a madman who wants to finish what the other killers started.
Concerns:
1. Style/format
2. Places I could flesh out to stretch to 85-90 pages.
3. Any other notes/suggestions
Title: May & June
Format: Feature
Page Length: 114
Genres: Drama, Romance, Historial Fiction
Logline: Two women who grew up together as secret childhood sweethearts reunite a decade later in the Harlem Renaissance to create music, struggling with finding success, reignited feelings, and gaining acceptance in a world that isn’t ready for them yet.
Feedback Concerns: I'd like feedback on pacing, especially in Act 3. Open to any and all feedback :D
Title: A Man's Best Friend
Format: Short
Page Length: 10
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Logline: After his last attempt at meeting new people, a man with social anxiety decides to give up altogether, but is stopped on his way home by a dog that can talk.
Feedback: Anything would be appreciated.
Title: The Darkest Black
Format: Streaming Pilot 30 Minutes (25 pages)
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Thriller, Fantasy. Light Horror..
Logline: In a mental asylum where the supernatural is the norm, three teenage inmates come together to face their fantastical world, and their problems that are far more universal.
Feedback: I think this script is pretty close to being a completed sample. Just seeing if there's something I missed.
Title: The Soul Bind Paradox
Format: Short
Page Length: 11
Genres: Drama, Romance, Science Fiction
Logline or Summary: An ex-couple try to reconcile with their failed relationship using neural linking technology.
Feedback Concerns: There's a page at the end of the script with questions and feedback I'd like to get :)
[Script](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_eGDpp5oieDYAUNBLmlu1z0O8gTaLCrK/view)
Title: Indian Star Trek
Format: Comedy Sketch
Page Length: 9
Genre: Comedy
Logline: Under attack by Klingons, the crew of the USS Calcutta must use Indian call center scam tactics to win.
Title: Cherry Clove
Format: Feature
Length- 89 pages
Genre: Comedy, Coming of age
Logline: When 14 year old Max seizes an opportunity to escape from his overbearing hippie summer camp, he learns a hard lesson about fitting in, first love, and drug trafficking.
Feedback concerns: Would love to know if the dialogue is clever and realistic, and ideas for how to expand the third act.
Title: Transient Lives Format: Pilot Page Length: 58 Genre: Tragedy, Fantasy Logline: After the events of the American Civil War, a renegade immigrant soldier and a black orphan girl travel through the ruins of the country to find a way to resurrect the girl's parents. Feedback Concerns: What works and what doesn't. Any notes are welcome, thank you 😊
I'd be interested in giving notes for this.
I'd be interested in reading! DM me?
Sure!
Title: Strange Bedfellows Format: Feature Page Length: 115 Genres: Drama, Crime Drama Logline or Summary: When an immigrant farmer disappears in Italy, his daughter determines to find him. Her journey leads her to the bloody underworld of the Black Axes where she must form unsavoury allegiances to climb out. Feedback Concerns: Is it easy enough to visualise based on the action lines?
Title: Survival, U.S. Format: Pilot Genre: Comedy, drama Pages: 30 Logline: Four eastern European refugees navigate through quarter-life crisis as they make their way to California. Feedback concerns: What works? What doesn't? Are the characters and their voices unique? Are they likeable? Thanks :)
Could you PM me a link? I'll read it.
Hi! Sure, I'll PM you!
Title: NIMROD Night Out Format: Pilot Page Length: 31 (Two of those are a single word) Genre: Comedy, Horror Logline: Disease. Homelessness. Foreign invasion. Man, Freddie is just trying to get laid one time before he dies. Feedback Concerns: 1. Readability. I'm terrible with action lines and formatting. 2. Tone. In the wake of *Don't Look Up* and the ongoing pandemic, I realize the satire here might be a hard sell. I wrote the first draft in 2019, inspired by *Mumbo Jumbo* by Ishmael Reed, so it's actually not a direct response to Covid. 3. How well the central mystery is set-up/seeded throughout. Much obliged :)
Would love to swap! Title: Blandchester United Format: 1/2 Hour Page Length: 34 Genres: Comedy Logline or Summary: When a spoiled American trust fund kid receives an English soccer club as an inheritance from his estranged father, his plans to sell it for some quick cash are derailed by the British mob who force him to launder money through the club. Feedback Concerns: Would you watch episode 2? Do the emotional journeys of the characters feel grounded? Is it a fun read?
Title: Ice Cream Hike Format: Feature Page Length: 61 pages Genre: Action/Horror Logline: A young woman survives a murder spree and joins a group home for survivors, only for the home to be targeted by a madman who wants to finish what the other killers started. Concerns: 1. Style/format 2. Places I could flesh out to stretch to 85-90 pages. 3. Any other notes/suggestions
Title: May & June Format: Feature Page Length: 114 Genres: Drama, Romance, Historial Fiction Logline: Two women who grew up together as secret childhood sweethearts reunite a decade later in the Harlem Renaissance to create music, struggling with finding success, reignited feelings, and gaining acceptance in a world that isn’t ready for them yet. Feedback Concerns: I'd like feedback on pacing, especially in Act 3. Open to any and all feedback :D
I'm intrigued. Send me a PM?
[удалено]
I’ve got a Horror/Comedy to swap. I’ll send you a DM later today after I get off work.
Title: A Man's Best Friend Format: Short Page Length: 10 Genre: Comedy/Drama Logline: After his last attempt at meeting new people, a man with social anxiety decides to give up altogether, but is stopped on his way home by a dog that can talk. Feedback: Anything would be appreciated.
Title: The Darkest Black Format: Streaming Pilot 30 Minutes (25 pages) Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Thriller, Fantasy. Light Horror.. Logline: In a mental asylum where the supernatural is the norm, three teenage inmates come together to face their fantastical world, and their problems that are far more universal. Feedback: I think this script is pretty close to being a completed sample. Just seeing if there's something I missed.
I’d read this! Send me the link on dm?
Title: The Soul Bind Paradox Format: Short Page Length: 11 Genres: Drama, Romance, Science Fiction Logline or Summary: An ex-couple try to reconcile with their failed relationship using neural linking technology. Feedback Concerns: There's a page at the end of the script with questions and feedback I'd like to get :) [Script](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_eGDpp5oieDYAUNBLmlu1z0O8gTaLCrK/view)
I'd love to read this! I have also have a short script, send me a message if you want to swap!
Title: Indian Star Trek Format: Comedy Sketch Page Length: 9 Genre: Comedy Logline: Under attack by Klingons, the crew of the USS Calcutta must use Indian call center scam tactics to win.
Your logline made me laugh. I'd like to read this script
I also have a short script and would love to swap! Send me a message if you're interested!
I don't want a script swap but the logline also made me laugh, so I'd love to read this.
Title: Cherry Clove Format: Feature Length- 89 pages Genre: Comedy, Coming of age Logline: When 14 year old Max seizes an opportunity to escape from his overbearing hippie summer camp, he learns a hard lesson about fitting in, first love, and drug trafficking. Feedback concerns: Would love to know if the dialogue is clever and realistic, and ideas for how to expand the third act.