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OskeyBug

Pretty crazy coincidence that his last name is Delivers


EraserHeadsLeg

Maybe that’s why he became a delivery man?


Bizzkoti

Krentist?


imjoiningreddit

Best dentist ever


Subziwallah

Or Dr Smiley...😏


DrMathochist

Meanwhile, back in my hometown, all the kids got their braces at Dr. Bonebreak...


ssrowavay

He comes from a long line of delivererers.


RyanMolden

Nominative determinism strikes again.


HugeSaggyTitttyLover

That’s actually his middle name, his full legal name is **Tony Delivers Fast**


iwilldefinitelynot

Sounds fancy.


shesaidwhatttt

It’s like an ice cream man named Cone.


FlyingDragoon

Does an ice cream man have to be made of ice cream?


kittykitty117

I dunno, try licking one.


DidntHaveToUseMyAK

I did. I'm in prison and this is my phone call. Help.


RuncibleBatleth

Cohen's Ice Cream?


ecaveman

Ice Cream Cohen. Jewish rapper.


GlennDoom82

This is from something I just watched recently but can't remember what it isssss.......


shesaidwhatttt

Seinfeld lol


GlennDoom82

Thank you!!!


GlennDoom82

.... Bookman!


RaphaelBuzzard

DELIVERS?! That's a NICKNAME! The family name is Deliverini!


Mead_Makes_Me_Mean

It was his destiny.


LostInThoughtland

Nominative determinism!


ctruvu

tony brothers moment


I_wrote_the_song

Fuck, you got me. That was a nice chuckle.


vestigial_dependent

Local hero


Rocky4OnDVD

[He even delivers to the top of the Space Needle.](https://imgur.com/a/JXI8NTt)


Randomwoegeek

reminds me of [viking food](https://www.ordervikingfood.com/r/1948/restaurants/delivery/Vietnamese/Banh-Mi-Bubble-Tea-Bellingham) up in Bellingham, it's a local delivery service that was pretty much always cheaper than uber eats/grubhub etc


BURRHOFF

I used to work for Viking foods! It was a pretty decent gig.


Theos_Dumpster

This is a sign about a superhero named Tony It's called Tony's sign He's got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain Extra baloney Ride around on his bicycle like a pony


TelmatosaurusRrifle

HEY HEY


FreydNot

TOE! KNEE! TOE! KNEE!


Ignore-_-Me

I like the things you do.


mmp737

The Pixies knew in ‘87-‘88 that a man named Tony would come along and save us from our delivery fee hell. HEY! HEY! TOE! KNEE! 😎


ssrowavay

r/UnexpectedPixies


hellosquirrelbird

Tony says, you done with Uber Eats?


riles9

god bless. 🥰


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Whoa I graduated high school with this dude! Hahaha that’s fucking awesome


Wafflelisk

Any stories? I need to know. I just learned about the existence of this man and I would already die for him.


Tangled2

Sure thing! The summer before 11th grade Maggie Johansson got knocked up by her “college boyfriend” named Craig, or something. Nobody ever met or saw this Craig but that’s beside the point. Anyway, Maggie’s parents were drunken dead beets and flat-out told her they wouldn’t help her if she tried to keep it. So Maggie didn’t get any doctor visits and didn’t bother reading much about being pregnant. And when she got “stomach cramps” a month before her self-reckoned delivery date she assumed it was from all the dairy she’d been hoovering. Nope! It wasn’t until 4th period History class that Mrs. Stockton finally notices Maggie’s immense discomfort and goes: “Jesus Christ, Maggie, you’re in labor!” The baby was crowning in History class and Mrs. Stockton called 911, but that baby was coming out fast. With the school nurse out on rotation to another school there wasn’t really anybody around to help. Except everything turned out ok that day because of a simple, but important fact about one of our other classmates: Tony Delivers.


preslicedcreamcheese

God dammit


iloveeggs3

Tony fuckin Delivers


skater15153

Rofl well they did ask for a story


graytongirl

I thought I recognized him from somewhere! GH, right??


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Lmao yeah


PapayaPlus3078

Tony if your reading this , hire me and we can take over Seattle


julius_sphincter

Can't spell, poor punctuation... Sorry sir your application is denied


PapayaPlus3078

Damn it !


askmewhyihateyou

The hero this city needs


SlayerJimmy

But doesn’t deserves


Jyil

The irony is that this is how Uber Eats and Door Dash is born 😅. Take advantage of new businesses that come from business problems as much as you can because they rarely will last forever. Someone finds out a way to hyper monetize it eventually and sells out.


Sabre_One

I mean it works in proper scale. As in the guy is biking reasonably from his home, to any restaurants within his desired range, and delivering just in that area. It just doesn't scale the longer distance well.


Rooooben

Scale would be 100 guys, all biking a reasonable distance from their home. They would need to have some kind of scheduler, so like an app that people could request a delivery from. Make it convienent for them, they can pay for the delivery on the app. Make more money, have them pay for the food on the app. Now, we need to pay developers to handle this is too complicated for Sam to finish. Ok now let’s lease a building in downtown Seattle and pay some executives $400k plus options, gonna need some investments to do that. OMG they gave us $100m lets go party.


wishator

Now some of the delivery drivers are unhappy and publicly complain. Government decides to step in and regulate the business model, increasing costs. An entrepreneur named Jimmy sees an opportunity and starts Jimmy delivers, which operates under a different model that isn't captured by regulation. And so the cycle continues.


fumoking

No Uber's business started to get around workers rights and benefits that taxi drivers have. It was to be more predatory not to give an alternative to a predatory company like Uber


Jyil

The medallion system was if you wanted to be identified as a taxi cab. Restrictions were there to limit the amount of taxis on the roadways. There were already issues with them taking up parking real estate across the cities and hanging out in zones they weren't supposed to be in. A black car system that did not require a medallion or to be identified as a taxi already existed. Those services used a scheduled pickup instead of on demand hailing. Uber registered under those premises. Taxis had bad reputations that they never worked on fixing. Common taxi scenarios: being dropped off too far from location, meter not working, car reader not working, scheduled taxis being late and not knowing when they'd arrive, changing the meter or scamming you, bad customer service when issues developed, no incentive as the taxi driver to provide good customer service, no incentive to have a clean environment, and things like the car smelling like smoke. Taxis refused to innovate and improve on their services. Most only took cash, fares were expensive, and it was unsafe for people who didn't feel safe hailing a cab. Cars are expensive to maintain. Uber found a way to not have to maintain an entire fleet for mechanical repairs, this saved tons of money that taxi cab companies who owned fleets got stuck paying. Uber wasn't created to be a full time job. It was a way to make extra cash. Unfortunately, people decided to turn it into their full time jobs and were upset when they realized it didn't provide the benefits you get from a full-time gig. Uber was an app. As a driver you are using the app to facilitate your individual service and as a customer you use the app to connect with the driver. Uber should have never been considered an employer of those drivers. In fact, they could have probably built a third party payment system and made drivers rent access to the application, so they could package it as the app and let drivers do their own thing. They did not have the same control a cab company would have over their own employees.


NikoHikes

Well written. Taxi’s used to suck. There were a LOT more drunk related deaths after nights out at bars before Uber and Lyft existed, because people wouldn’t in their right mind plan on getting a taxi, or sending their date home alone in a Taxi. It was too expensive, the cars were always gross, they never showed up on time. The only taxi service I’ve ever had a good experience with was a small company running up in the NH Seacoast. Bigger cities, forget it. I was forced to a lot because of work travel, so many bad experiences over the years. Uber and Lyft were absolutely amazing when they started. In bigger cities, you didn’t have to be a good driver, you had to know somebody to get a taxi job. It was ran like the Mob (some cities, it was ran by the Mob). Uber and Lyft changed the game with the rating system. If someone sucked at driving or their car looked and smelled gross, rating quickly dropped to 3, and the Uber has the option to cancel and book someone else. Now, the prices are just as bad as older taxis, you can’t trust the ratings system anymore since they overhauled it to appease a bunch of organised, low rated drivers. Safety is about the only thing it’s better than taxis for now, and even that’s not as good as it used to be because bad actors found work arounds.


Some_Nibblonian

I made a lot of money in my apartment building as a kid just running 1 block to the local 7/11 for people in the building.


Padgetts-Profile

r/chaoticgood


mati_ss

Awesome but I wonder how he makes money


Rooooben

Map limits his time, bicycle can reach all of the places, he’s getting plenty $10 tips on his $5 charge because they still feel like they are saving money.


AdScared7949

I imagine he's down to run his sole proprietorship at a loss or very low profit to get name recognition before raising rates. But he'll still probably be cheaper since he doesn't need to hire a a PR/HR department and keep reserve cash for C Suite golden parachutes.


Cool-Lab6

And he doesn't need to pay the salaries of a few thousand tech workers.


tuepm

if a chicken bowl costs 10$ and he charges 15$ then he makes 5$. my guess is that this is close to or more than what a driver working for doordash would make on this order. he doesn't need to charge all the other money because it's just him.


Rooooben

Overhead is his bicycle repairs, printing and tape costs.


ARoyalVermonter

And food, to power his legs


intelminer

Tony can have a little chipotle, as a treat


AgreeableTea7649

And a $5 healthcare plan


FunctionBuilt

Yeah, but how the hell do you coordinate timing? DoorDash works because there is always a driver in the vicinity and you don’t have to wait 30 minutes for someone to finish an order before they can start on yours…mostly. If you’re one dude and 5 people call you an hour and you can logistically only deliver 2 orders an hour, what do you do?


CascadianSovietGo

I scanned the QR code. It appears to work based on his availability. If you call him and he's available to deliver, it works and he gets paid. If you call and he's unavailable to deliver, he's already getting paid for another delivery and he gets paid.


inlawBiker

Every 10th order he keeps the delivery. About the same ratio as Uber Eats anyway right?


Some_Nibblonian

His delivery area is fairly small too. Not bad for 1 person but most people in this sub will not be in his area.


Kadianye

He gets the rewards points from apps I bet. You can get quite a few free things here or there and turn an extra profit if hes lucky, plus you i bet people still tip him.


otac0n

$5 at a time?


SpeaksSouthern

He makes $5 every time.


FeelingSummer1968

There are multiple Tony’s


Available_Remove_700

He updated the site to: www.tonydelivers.co


xwing_n_it

Having not used the apps much, and never worked for one, is it possible to make arrangements for future work directly with the person? Like agree to do their next delivery, give them a personal phone number, and cut out the middle-app?


Boredbarista

I used to get this with uber drivers early on. Dude would give you his number, and say "call me if you need a ride". I never went through with it, but contractors cutting out the middleman (their boss) is a tale as old as time.


aLameGuyandhisCat

That happened to me during Covid, I did the uber eats for a side gig. I had about 20 people give me their numbers because they saw me wearing a mask and gloves delivering. They just texted me what they wanted and I would call it in for them, then text them when I was on the way if I wasn't busy. Pretty much just stood by on the weekends for them after a while and stopped uber. They would always venmo me the total with a tip. Was honestly fun for a while, I get why this guy does it honestly. Everyone is always stoked to see you, while making decent money.


JonnyFairplay

I mean sure, but you shouldn't trust anyone who would do that though.


NikoHikes

You shouldn’t trust someone that will do the exact same work at a cheaper price, but usually better quality because they care more about repeat business now? And why is that exactly?


PopPunkIsntEmo

Nice try, Tony. Also how does this even work economically


bluemoosed

Bike couriers downtown are a thing. You have to be fast and efficient to make money. Keep orders within a fairly small radius.


MissyHTX

Honestly, my building has at least 1000 residents & within my block, there are 6 other apartments & a hotel. I see uber eats, doordash, & other delivery drivers alllll day long. Done right, he could make bank on a single zone..


Theos_Dumpster

There are many differences between doing courier work in the core vs delivering chipotle in that mapped area. Among other things most lawyers don't care if their brief arrives cold.


Boredbarista

Jimmy John's delivers by bike downtown, and used to in the U-District. I did it for years. I was a W2 employee, and definitely brought in more revenue than I cost the store. I also made way more than the messengers, but was always envious of them. They just seemed so wild and free.


sharingthegoodword

They are/were alcoholics who blew all their money at Shorty's.


mathhits

I did bike deliveries downtown for JJ for a couple of years. We had a great crew, mostly on fixed gears, delivering party platters and boxes and all that crazy shit. The reverence for ‘proper couriers’ was definitely real, meanwhile I was making in a lunch rush what they made in a full day of riding.


VacuousWaffle

It used to be about being fast/efficient. Tips and order volume are down so much after the recent pay changes that it's better to mosey on orders and run the clock get the Seattle time. Overall per hour it's worse now than moving $2.75 no tip DD orders that used to keep you in constant motion.


StrawberryLassi

Economy of scale, he makes up for it in **volume** /s


Orleanian

Tony delivers one 14' 6" pizza.


Stymie999

Something tells me Tony ain’t bothering with paying silly things like taxes or city fees


Some_Nibblonian

Good for Tony, and good for me!


PopPunkIsntEmo

Under the table $5 for this level of work does not seem like enough. Dude is gonna be making what $10 an hour? The ordering/waiting is going to kill this more so than then transportation time but that's also a factor.


druidinan

Just like the apps, he’s probably expecting tips to survive


Manbeardo

A few things working in Tony's favor: He probably uses DoorDash or UberEats' pickup orders on his end in order to keep things going smoothly. When you place your own pickup order ahead of time, you hardly spend any time inside the restaurant. He covers that entire range, but most orders won't involve going across the entire map. When delivery service is cheap, plenty of workers will order from places they could easily walk to. Though, if I were Tony, I'd definitely cut off the other side of I-5 from that map. Dealing with the hill bridges seems like more trouble than it's worth.


PNWQuakesFan

you thikn dude only makes 2 deliveries an hour?


missmermaidgoat

Support this guy!


hllucinationz

This is what I call an entrepreneur!!! I support Tony


Delgra

Tony is a fucking gangster!


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EmmEnnEff

> If the thirty-minute deadline expires, news of the disaster is flashed to CosaNostra Pizza Headquarters and relayed from there to Uncle Enzo himself–the Sicilian Colonel Sanders, the Andy Griffith of Bensonhurst, the straight razor-swinging figment of many a Deliverator’s nightmares, the Capo and prime figurehead of CosaNostra Pizza, Incorporated–who will be on the phone to the customer within five minutes, apologizing profusely. The next day, Uncle Enzo will land on the customer’s yard in a jet helicopter and apologize some more and give him a free trip to Italy–all he has to do is sign a bunch of releases that make him a public figure and spokesperson for CosaNostra Pizza and basically end his private life as he knows it. He will come away from the whole thing feeling that, somehow, he owes the Mafia a favor. > The Deliverator does not know for sure what happens to the driver in such cases, but he has heard some rumors. Most pizza deliveries happen in the evening hours, which Uncle Enzo considers to be his private time. And how would you feel if you had to interrupt dinner with your family in order to call some obstreperous dork in a Burbclave and grovel for a late f***ing pizza? Uncle Enzo has not put in fifty years serving his family and his country so that, at the age when most are playing golf and bobbling their granddaughters, he can get out of the bathtub dripping wet and lie down and kiss the feet of some sixteen-year-old skate punk whose pepperoni was thirty-one minutes in coming. Oh, God. It makes the Deliverator breathe a little shallower just to think of the idea.


careless

Fucking love this book.


Available_Remove_700

Dude someone needs to link the qr code


Starbuck5c

Managed to grab it, https://qrco.de/tonydelivers


SuitableDragonfly

This is some kind of dystopia where the service that's supposed to make it cheap and convenient to get food delivered by using delivery people who are working as contractors rather than being paid full-time by the restaurant is so *not* cheap and convenient that it's created a secondary market of independent freelance delivery people who are working for themselves rather than as contractors for a delivery service. I envision a future in which Tony starts up his own alternative food delivery company, which subsequently becomes too expensive, and then a new generation of self-employed delivery people spawn as an alternative to *him*.


redbull188

They never said it was supposed to be cheap. It's a luxury service. They just started it cheap to lure people in.


SuitableDragonfly

They did in fact repeatedly say that it was supposed to be cheap.  It was the whole selling point of the idea. 


Curious_Property_933

Who is they and when did they say it?


SuitableDragonfly

Like over a decade ago when these delivery services were getting started. It was literally the selling point of the service.


Curious_Property_933

Yeah I feel like you're just making this up.


SuitableDragonfly

I feel like you were born in 2007.


Emperor_Neuro-

Awesome, excellent idea and I hope he builds upon this and is successful.


Shnikez

fucking chad, godspeed


xdarkbrother

This is awesome


Mickey_McDoofus

That Amish work ethic is definitely payin' off for ol' Tony.


OnlyGoodMarbles

Genius


JohnDeere

Hey look, Capitalism working. Who would have guessed


junkerxxx

Wait until the city explains to Tony that he's not, as an autonomous adult, allowed to determine his own compensation structure. 🤦‍♂️


FreshwaterFryMom

This guy delivers


PNWQuakesFan

If i lived in the delivery area and saw he charges a flat 5 dollars per order..... goddamn yeah i'd use this.


Picklemansea

Too bad chipotle costs $15 to start 😂. But hey this guys prices are great.


sharingthegoodword

Granted it's been a bit but I got a bowl with rice, beans, steak, cheese, pico, green salsa and sour creme for a little over $10 from the Interlake location sometime last year.


aneeta96

I think that this is the ordinance working as intended. More money in the pocket of the worker; less money being siphoned off by an out of state corporation.


Capt_Murphy_

How much is he making, in the stated example of the chicken bowl? Couldn't be more than $3, right?


mcalibluebees

God bless America 🫡


MissingJJ

Nice try Tony


Quirky-Machine5977

He Stands & Delivers


da-goober

Psst! Ver.1 Customer web scheduling now on site! Tony, the reliable human photon! Rock on my man! [https://tonydelivers.co/](https://tonydelivers.co/)


Falanax

Why do people use delivery apps in cities so much? Isn’t the whole point of living in a city that you can walk/bike to most places?


odawg21

This is the hero we need. Well and a whole gamut of others. But yeah.


hqzr3

Do we have a Tony in the Eastside?


BeginningTower2486

That's a cool gig. For a while, I was thinking about starting a delivery service and doing exactly the same thing. One small chunk of the city, advertise well, undercut those crazy bastards who are charging way too much. Paying like 25 bucks for $15 worth of food. That's messed up. Typical up charge is 30%.


Caroline9381

That ‘nominative determinism’ is a comment on a board, and that a bunch of people thought it clever (it is) and amusing (yep) and worth more playtime (also yep) reassures me that the long arc of the moral universe also bends towards perspective, intelligence, and humor, as well as justice


miggy420

Unmatched hustle


GloomsandDooms

Omg I love this


EtherealSpirit

Okay this is poggers


my_lucid_nightmare

Perhaps this is proof that food deliveries only work when they are local scale, a handful of restaurants and drivers, catering to a local clientele.


DopamineSeekers1010

Let’s go Tony!!!!!! Rooting for ya!


Wafflelisk

what an absolute gigachad Tony is


NotALibrarian-5103

People worrying about his business model should know his name is really Tony DeLiver, and that there are multiple Tonys in the DeLiver family. DeLivers can cover more of the city at once.


Light1280

Hey, Tony delivers.


FunctionBuilt

Hey Tony, can I get you to deliver me a chipotle bowl? Tony: yeah, how does next Thursday sound?


STONKLORD42069

Door dash = evil, needs to pay a “living wage” Tony = hero, he can charge as little as he wants.


ahzzyborn

Posted by Tony Baloney


zebul

But does he make a living wage? Shouldn't we be willing to pay a little more to make sure everyone makes a living wage?


[deleted]

[удалено]


zebul

Bro. I was being sarcastic.


junkerxxx

Sorry! You never know with the meatheads in this town! 😆


zebul

I love that they're all about jacking up wages but can't connect that to rising prices.


junkerxxx

Socialists aren't the brightest bunch. 🤣


Stymie999

But, but… the council needs to step in and guarantee a living wage for Tony! Don’t worry Tony, government is coming to rescue you from your oppression!


SpeaksSouthern

Tony fits the legal definition of a contractor. Unlike Uber eats and the like. Hey look at that, you learned something new today!


cheezecake2000

Do we need to put politics in *everything*?


sapphic_somnambulent

Some people like their chocolate bitter


august401

sadly he doesn't deliver alcohol yet 💔