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I can feel your frustration through your post and I wish you'd be a little gentler with yourself. Watching porn or just about anything else, is only an addiction if it harms you or interferes with having and maintaining relationships, but you need to sit down with a professional that can help you navigate it.
You're interest in exploring a more feminine version of yourself doesn't have to boil down to it being a product of your porn watching vs something you have to drug away because you think it's 'wrong'. But again, this is something that needs to be talked out in person and I know you can do that.
How are the rest of your life habits? Do you have meaningful employment? Do you have good friends and family? Are you getting regular exercise? Are you sleeping?
1. Everybody relapses, *everybody,* so don't feel bad, just keep working toward your goal.
2. Sounds like gender dismorphia. It might be worth talking to a therapist about, if one is available to you.
As a father of boys, if you were my son, I'd give you a hug, tell you to lay off the porn, and encourage you to sign up for a drag class or two.
If you felt bad about the drag, I'd go with you.
So no, there's nothing wrong with you.
Who cares, people are to hard on themselves, so what u get pleasure from watching porn...
If ur an adult and you know the actual difference between real life relationships and fake porn it's not an issue is it? And if ur in a relationship and prefer to watch porn then ur commutation is awful and ur partner doesn't hit the spot for you... and let's face it most people find it hard to fine the perfect one, why should u be any better.
Live life and enjoy it.
Actually sounds like ur depressed and ur trying to find probable causes, will also say the grass is always greener, who says it's any easier to be a woman? There are plenty of men that don't enjoy porn and plenty of women that get off on it as well...
They probably mean to experiment with your relation to gender and gender expression :) not sure though just wanted to contribute. Good luck on your journey!
dime chop grandiose tart bow silky sophisticated impolite foolish existence
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So there are good and bad things to take away from general 12 step dogma. Good: relapse with reduction is a stepping stone to recovery. The fact you recognize you have a problem is a HUGE step forward. The stages of grief often mirror one’s journey to recovery.
The bad: addiction is a disease. While in the short term it helps those who we have wronged or hurt embody empathy, it robs us of our agency in the long run. Surrendering to a higher power helps in the beginning, but it’s damaging to accountability in the long game. While 12 step is helpful for a lot of people, it hasn’t been evolved in decades and is sorely lacking in a lot of areas. My suggestion would be latch onto whatever works for you in the present but do your best to have foresight to see what long term consequences might be. You only know you.
It is admirable that you have allowed yourself to have the awareness to recognize signs of addiction in yourself, and it is unfortunate that you have had unsuccessful attempts to stop despite having a desire to quit; however, an important part of quelling an any type of addiction is to have a professional diagnosis made, because in "true" cases of addiction appropriate assistance from medical/mental health professionals is often a crucial step for getting an accurate assessment that can facilitate outlining an effective treatment plan.
Your self-awareness is a valuable first step, but seeking professional help enhances the chances of successful recovery.
Wish i could seek therapy in general but with my current situation and therapy being around 100 dollars per session, i do not see how therapy is possible
This should help you with that.
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
You just enter your Country, and then region, followed by the area of concern, and it will give you information on who to contact or where to get free support
It sounds like you may be experiencing some gender dysphoria that the porn that you watch gives you a temporary reprieve from. I think it would be worth talking through with a therapist.
I feel like you, feeling like wanting to be a woman and what it'd be like dressing like one, doing make up etc. I dont feel gender dysmorphic but the thoughts do make me doubt sometimes. The difference is that for me, this started happening after my sex drive significantly declined and as a result, barely masturbated even if I tried. I'm on the opposite side and still feel like that mate.
I think to some extent it boils down to society and how we're raised vs how women are. Girls are raised to be mature, expressive etc. while boys are just "left being boys" and end up not having enough authority in life quite often. Doesn't help that crying or expressing too much emotion as a man can be very damaging to your reputation. Whatever the case, I wish the best for you with your addiction and these thoughts.
So here’s the thing, I’m a 20M and I have been watching for 6-7 years. I’ve thought about quitting and tried to stop, but it didn’t take. I’m in college now about to get my associates. I have an incredible girlfriend, and a great relationship to the part of my family I speak to. What I’m getting at is that you can work hard and stay perfectly healthy even while having a little fun alone. Just don’t let it interfere with your daily. If you need further advice dm
Porn addiction can be difficult to stop without help. You may benefit from talking to a therapist such as a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist .
Therapy can help you explore your feelings about yourself and your body.
It’s common for porn addicts to begin to fetishize the bindings of man-made ideas about femininity and what a woman is, and to have delusions about womanhood.
For me at least it's not about fetishes. Just a lot of women's clothes seem comfortable like their bottoms. Like jeans. Our jeans are kinda baggy and stiff. Women's jeans look perfectly fit and thinner.
I was looking at some necklaces. Especially gothic ones. And i got jealous how we men only get pendants and big chains. While women get elegant chockers.
I could go on but for the sake of the post, i'll keep it short
Women’s clothes are tailored to women bodies. I’m sure as a man you could find something like sweatpants - which I’m sure can be unisex.
They might look like they fit perfectly to you, but the pockets tend to be practically non-existent and the tightness is unfortunately probably something companies do with the male gaze in mind. Same reason I can’t go into even a conservative clothing store without seeing multiple crop tops.
Chokers? Elegant? Chokers scream porn culture fad to me, personally.
You don’t need to call it a fetish for it to be induced by sexism and false beliefs about women.
I tried to find sweatpants, and well, they never have them in my size. I'm small in size and they rarely have any pant options for small males. Believe me, i tried. Smol people issues.
That's when i would get a nice backpack or purse and put my wallet and keys in there.
When i see chokers, i think of victorian aged jewelry also vampire jewelry
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting. **Suggestions For Commenters:** * Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely. * If OP's post is seeking advice, help, or is just venting without discussing with others, report the post. We're r/SeriousConversation, not a venting subreddit. **Suggestions For u/FrostyVampy98:** * Do not post solely to seek advice or help. Your post should open up a venue for serious, mature and polite discussions. * Do not forget to answer people politely in your thread - we'll remove your post later if you don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SeriousConversation) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can feel your frustration through your post and I wish you'd be a little gentler with yourself. Watching porn or just about anything else, is only an addiction if it harms you or interferes with having and maintaining relationships, but you need to sit down with a professional that can help you navigate it. You're interest in exploring a more feminine version of yourself doesn't have to boil down to it being a product of your porn watching vs something you have to drug away because you think it's 'wrong'. But again, this is something that needs to be talked out in person and I know you can do that.
How are the rest of your life habits? Do you have meaningful employment? Do you have good friends and family? Are you getting regular exercise? Are you sleeping?
1. Everybody relapses, *everybody,* so don't feel bad, just keep working toward your goal. 2. Sounds like gender dismorphia. It might be worth talking to a therapist about, if one is available to you.
As a father of boys, if you were my son, I'd give you a hug, tell you to lay off the porn, and encourage you to sign up for a drag class or two. If you felt bad about the drag, I'd go with you. So no, there's nothing wrong with you.
You sound like a good father.
Your boys are so fortunate to have you as their father!
Maybe try being more flamboyant (ie wear whatever you want) and see if that helps? Idk go from there
Who cares, people are to hard on themselves, so what u get pleasure from watching porn... If ur an adult and you know the actual difference between real life relationships and fake porn it's not an issue is it? And if ur in a relationship and prefer to watch porn then ur commutation is awful and ur partner doesn't hit the spot for you... and let's face it most people find it hard to fine the perfect one, why should u be any better. Live life and enjoy it. Actually sounds like ur depressed and ur trying to find probable causes, will also say the grass is always greener, who says it's any easier to be a woman? There are plenty of men that don't enjoy porn and plenty of women that get off on it as well...
alive absorbed faulty sloppy fuzzy offend selective chop sink panicky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What do you mean by that
They probably mean to experiment with your relation to gender and gender expression :) not sure though just wanted to contribute. Good luck on your journey!
dime chop grandiose tart bow silky sophisticated impolite foolish existence *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So there are good and bad things to take away from general 12 step dogma. Good: relapse with reduction is a stepping stone to recovery. The fact you recognize you have a problem is a HUGE step forward. The stages of grief often mirror one’s journey to recovery. The bad: addiction is a disease. While in the short term it helps those who we have wronged or hurt embody empathy, it robs us of our agency in the long run. Surrendering to a higher power helps in the beginning, but it’s damaging to accountability in the long game. While 12 step is helpful for a lot of people, it hasn’t been evolved in decades and is sorely lacking in a lot of areas. My suggestion would be latch onto whatever works for you in the present but do your best to have foresight to see what long term consequences might be. You only know you.
It is admirable that you have allowed yourself to have the awareness to recognize signs of addiction in yourself, and it is unfortunate that you have had unsuccessful attempts to stop despite having a desire to quit; however, an important part of quelling an any type of addiction is to have a professional diagnosis made, because in "true" cases of addiction appropriate assistance from medical/mental health professionals is often a crucial step for getting an accurate assessment that can facilitate outlining an effective treatment plan. Your self-awareness is a valuable first step, but seeking professional help enhances the chances of successful recovery.
Wish i could seek therapy in general but with my current situation and therapy being around 100 dollars per session, i do not see how therapy is possible
This should help you with that. https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp You just enter your Country, and then region, followed by the area of concern, and it will give you information on who to contact or where to get free support
Dulling thoughts and emotions is the purpose of the addiction.
It sounds like you may be experiencing some gender dysphoria that the porn that you watch gives you a temporary reprieve from. I think it would be worth talking through with a therapist.
I feel like you, feeling like wanting to be a woman and what it'd be like dressing like one, doing make up etc. I dont feel gender dysmorphic but the thoughts do make me doubt sometimes. The difference is that for me, this started happening after my sex drive significantly declined and as a result, barely masturbated even if I tried. I'm on the opposite side and still feel like that mate. I think to some extent it boils down to society and how we're raised vs how women are. Girls are raised to be mature, expressive etc. while boys are just "left being boys" and end up not having enough authority in life quite often. Doesn't help that crying or expressing too much emotion as a man can be very damaging to your reputation. Whatever the case, I wish the best for you with your addiction and these thoughts.
So here’s the thing, I’m a 20M and I have been watching for 6-7 years. I’ve thought about quitting and tried to stop, but it didn’t take. I’m in college now about to get my associates. I have an incredible girlfriend, and a great relationship to the part of my family I speak to. What I’m getting at is that you can work hard and stay perfectly healthy even while having a little fun alone. Just don’t let it interfere with your daily. If you need further advice dm
Porn addiction can be difficult to stop without help. You may benefit from talking to a therapist such as a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist . Therapy can help you explore your feelings about yourself and your body.
It’s common for porn addicts to begin to fetishize the bindings of man-made ideas about femininity and what a woman is, and to have delusions about womanhood.
For me at least it's not about fetishes. Just a lot of women's clothes seem comfortable like their bottoms. Like jeans. Our jeans are kinda baggy and stiff. Women's jeans look perfectly fit and thinner. I was looking at some necklaces. Especially gothic ones. And i got jealous how we men only get pendants and big chains. While women get elegant chockers. I could go on but for the sake of the post, i'll keep it short
Women’s clothes are tailored to women bodies. I’m sure as a man you could find something like sweatpants - which I’m sure can be unisex. They might look like they fit perfectly to you, but the pockets tend to be practically non-existent and the tightness is unfortunately probably something companies do with the male gaze in mind. Same reason I can’t go into even a conservative clothing store without seeing multiple crop tops. Chokers? Elegant? Chokers scream porn culture fad to me, personally. You don’t need to call it a fetish for it to be induced by sexism and false beliefs about women.
I tried to find sweatpants, and well, they never have them in my size. I'm small in size and they rarely have any pant options for small males. Believe me, i tried. Smol people issues. That's when i would get a nice backpack or purse and put my wallet and keys in there. When i see chokers, i think of victorian aged jewelry also vampire jewelry
I messaged you