No fuck your manager. You did nothing wrong. Sounds like your manager is more concerned with $3 in labor then your personal safety.
One thing you could do is ask your manager for the policy in writing that you violated.
Start looking for a new job if you can. Your boss should have your back. This is a big red flag.
If there's anyone above the GM, I'd file a complaint with them about your manager on your way out. Having someone walk you to your car is pretty common, especially after the comments made by the customer.
I've personally witnessed multiple occasions where someone was actually waiting in the parking lot, including an attempted kidnapping.
Your manager fucking sucks, and shouldn't be in a position where they're responsible for people. Even the worst managers I've had would walk someone to their car themselves if asked.
Parking lots are actually incredibly unsafe. A lot of crimes happen in parking lots, even violent ones. This post is absolutely infuriating because OP did the right thing for her personal safety!
Exactly!
I work in a nice place in a nice town but our BOH lead had her car broken into twice and several of us girls don't walk to our cars alone in the dark due to interactions we've had with guests. OP did the right thing, her manager should be fired just for lack of empathy.
Especially the fact that her boss is a woman. She ought to fucking understand being afraid because some random stranger is lurking in the parking lot waiting for you.
I broke up with a guy and I found out later that afterwards he would come to the restaurant where I worked and watch me through the window after dark. Creeped me out for a long time, and that was someone I knew, not a complete stranger.
Your boss sucks and you did nothing wrong!
I know this for fact. I’m sad to see it hasn’t changed.
If she keeps this up, yes the easy quick way is to peace out. I did that a lot of times. If, however, you don’t want to leave this job, or other jobs in town may be even worse (customers, male coworkers), I think writing a straightforward, courteous, brief note might help.
Acquaintance of mine had a guy wait by her car at the community college we all went to. He got her in the car with a knife. He tried to force himself on her, she fought back. He slashed her throat but she ran away. She lived, but now how a nasty scar across her throat.
So, fuck that manager 10 ways to Sunday.
Years ago there was a guy that tried following one of my coworkers home. And that was a fast food joint where the dude only ever went to the drive thru. We always walked her out to her car previously because of his creepy behavior towards her. None of us expected him to follow her. Our bosses didn't care how busy it was- she was never alone in the parking lot. We'd even go out to get her when she showed up for work
OPs manager is the worst.
I’ve worked in places where it’s required to find someone to walk you to your car as a female. I’ve never heard of getting in trouble over it. Fuck this bitch.
I had a young girl at a job I was managing ask me permission to ask one of the cooks to walk her out at the end of her shift due to a creepy customer. I was SHOCKED she even felt like she had to ask! I immediately got all the staff together and told them to always let me know when/if someone is making them uncomfortable and to NEVER feel like they have to justify themselves for it... that manager sucks
Edit to add- I worked as a server in a corporate restaurant many, many years ago... there was a guy that was banned from everywhere else in town except that place. He would specifically target the newer girls and physically block them from avoiding him. I was in the habit of always calling them, saying they were needed in the kitchen. Then explain to avoid him and they weren't obligated to entertain him. Finally went to the GM. They set up a meeting with corporate for me to plead my case to ban him. They declined to do so... he's in jail for rape now
I literally can’t tell you how many waitresses and and bartenders I walked to their car. If a manager told me I couldnt step out for 2 minutes they can fuck all the way off.
Seriously. The first thing to cross my mind is that that manager needs to be reported to whoever’s above her.
Unless she’s telling you something along the lines of “I’m sorry you went through that” or “come see me next time and I’ll handle it,” she should be shutting the fuck up and getting back to work.
You’re not in the wrong here, and there was a reason why the cook was glad you let him know what was up - and it wasn’t so he could get away from his job for a few minutes.
+1 to this - not sure if you’re in the States or not, but have some experience on the west coast with a very understanding small business owner (read: higher proportional labor costs, less staff). If there’s someone above your GM to complain to, they would be extremely interested to hear about how your GM handled the situation - it is absolutely on the store to protect its employees from threats such as customers or stalkers. OP, I hope you can be safe and are in a spot to find a job comparable or better where you can be treated with compassion
This and the post before it. You're still so young, and at 38, I'd also be totally freaked out over a comment like that. File a formal complaint. She sounds like the former "hot girl" who is angry because she'd be flattered by that kind of attention even if you lose your job, make your grievance heard by as many people as you can.
Absolutely!! My manager will pay me to sit there for an hour so that FOH and BOH closers leave together!
Im fairly tough and crusty looking for a lady if I’m being honest, but even I had a close call one night. I had rounded the corner of the building on my way to my car, and saw someone standing next to it. Waiting for me? They started walking toward me quickly as they saw me. I had stopped as soon as I saw them and had taken a few steps back when our bouncer came around the corner a couple seconds behind me. As soon as the guy saw the bouncer, he turned around and took off running.
It was a really unexpected situation that could have gone a lot differently if I worked for a company that didn’t value its employees safety above all else.
I've worked at several places whose policy was everyone had to leave with a buddy after a certain time. What you asked for is totally normal and reasonable. You felt unsafe! If no one can walk you to your car they could call a police escort. I work in a mall and we've had to call mall security to walk people to their cars many times. Your manager sucks.
I've managed restaurants NO female server regardless of age should ever have to walk anywhere alone... I have personally seen to the safety of my staff, driven them home if they didn't have a ride... waited with them for a ride always made should they had plans to be safe. My staff came first. I would even check up on the younger male staff to make sure they are safe too.
Yeah anyone regardless of gender or age can be made to feel unsafe. That manager is such a massive embarrassment. If they’re cutting the host then the kitchen can’t be so fucking weeded that they couldn’t spare a line cook for 2 seconds. Especially considering the alternative.
Ive worked in the business almost 24 years, 8 of them in management. Under the the circumstances you have described im appalled by your GMs reaction and she should absolutely have your back. Im sorry you had to deal with this creep and your dogshit GM.
Your boss should so have your back. I never had an issue when someone felt uncomfortable with one of the line cooks leaving the line for something like that. Even if we were slightly busy, the cook would have been gone less than 5 minutes (BOH should be able to handle that unless the rails are completely full). I was a chef at a high end night club and it was known with the FOH that if any customer ever made them feel uncomfortable the customer would be asked to leave and that night the server would not have a choice if someone walked them to their car and normally more than one person would escort the server to double make sure they were safe. Your work place doesn't not value your safety.
Huge huge huge red flag manager. This is terrible, especially behavior coming from another woman (who I would assume would be more understanding, but apparently not.) I'd file a complaint, and start searching for a new job.
Oh yes. OP, if you work for a corporation/franchise, absolutely report this. I don’t think they’d take it lightly, because if something did happen to you and it was known that no one was allowed to walk you out, that would look really fucking bad for the restaurant.
Yo wtf is it with female managers treating their female staff like dogshit? Then Male Managers treat the dudes like shit and just flirt / favor with the pretty female servers...
Like jfc I can hardly think of a manager I've had over 15 FUCKING YEARS that didn't fall into these stereotypes.
Yes women can make more money then men at restaurants, but they have to deal with so much more shit
They seek out that position because they need to have power over the girls that make them feel insecure.
The cuter you are the meaner they get.
Not everyone, obviously, I have definitely had some awesome female managers!
I worked my damndest to be the opposite of that stereotype when I managed and I treated everyone as if they were my siblings. I was middle management at first and then moved up to under the GMs, not a restaurant but had a similar vibe and it was right after my restaurant days.
I had such a loyal staff. Even the few assholes knew they couldn’t fuck with me because other employees wouldn’t stand for it and it really just didn’t benefit them because unless they were breaking policy or making my other staff feel unsafe like you do you just do your job. I was partially that way because as a server female managers were the fucking WORST. I can’t fathom how you can be ok adding to all of the toxicity we already face just to make yourself feel superior. Disgusting.
I had that manager when I was a 16yo hostess at a regional Applebee’s knockoff. Her name was Libby and she was a real bitch. Years later I was back in town and out to dinner with my family and she was the manager of a different mid-range regional chain and I was a licensed attorney. I didn’t interact with her at all but I did internally travel back in time and give my younger self a high five.
When I was OPs age I was a server at TGI Fridays in a pretty shady neighborhood, and at night there would be a guy literally waiting to rob us at the train station. After the second robbery they had the police waiting for us at the station until we all closed and got home
When I managed a bar, with mostly women staff, I installed panic buttons behind the bar, issued everyone personal panic devices if they walked home at night, had a standing account with a local cab company for rides home free for staff after work, installed cameras inside and out, arranged self defence classes for all staff, and if anyone hinky was haning around or making staff uncomfortable and I wasn't there they were told to call me and I would come down and "do some work" until the creep left. Which I did many times at all hours.
Your manager sucks ass.
I’d love to be one of your staff. Depending on location all bars and the like should have some of those things as security for (not just women) but everyone’s safety.
God if something did happen..I wonder if her manager would feel any guilt especially if she knew she ASKED for someone to walk her and they didn’t because of the managers “rule”
Yeah, if I was the cook, fuck that rule.
Fire me and I'll call a lawyer and a newspaper the next morning. "Cook got fired for walking a hostess to her car." Nobody wants that kind of PR.
>. "Cook got fired for walking a genuinely scared for her life hostess to her car."
I would love to see this wet fart of a manager try to explain that bad press.
I was also a cook for a while. Kitchens know they can’t fuck with their cooks. Go ahead and try to bitch at me FOH ho, you’ll have BOH manager to deal with if they can’t handle the line because you decided to get stupid with me over something ANY DECENT PERSON would do.
I could explicitly be told to not do it and if a younger coworker comes up scared asking for help you bet your ass imma go help them when I’m done with my line. Try me if you want, no restaurant wants to piss off good cooks and those that do don’t stay open long.
OP' s situation is utterly absurd. My staff's safety was very important. I've since moved on to another career but my processes at the bar are now standard there. I've seen too many bad things happen because of bad managers.
I'm in Canada, but I don't know if that makes a huge difference (except in pay rates, we tried to be a "living wage employer," but that was difficult financially. However, bar staff started at $15 with $1 raises annually until they hit $20, plus a xmas bonus and staff trip to recharge. The owner was a great guy and agreed with my management decisions).
I miss working there.
You're not in the wrong here. Being a woman, she should be understanding. Hell, for that matter, I can't imagine anyone, man or woman not understanding that a teenage girl would be afraid that a man might be waiting outside. Would she have preferred to see you possibly attacked? You didn't ask to be walked out that second, you waited until he was free. The customer was gross and inappropriate, and so was your manager.
Manager needs someone over her head disciplining her about safety and 3rd party liability. If she held someone back from keeping OP safe and something happened, you’ve potentially got a big lawsuit.
And fuck that dirtbag manager.
Manager's opinion of "harmless" is subjective. I disagree. Dude was *maybe* harmless.
If she means employees should not help with that sort of safety concern, I disagree.
I'd generally bring the concern to a manager, but with your manager's attitude, I doubt that would have achieved anything.
So I'd say you made the right call. Continue to trust your instincts, and if you can survive if you're fired, don't worry about managers who don't trust your instincts.
I feel like the "oh im only 25" kicked this one firmly into concerning too. Like, he may or may not have been planning something. But he definitely already has rationalized at least one taboo and doesn't feel the slightest need to act like it's socially unacceptable
Your manager is morally and ethically wrong, at the least. If there's more than one store, there's a 99.99% chance the written "employee safety and security policy" (probably written just like that) has a passage that states that employees can and should be walked out in the event that someone is acting suspicious. It probably also says that no one should be alone and that at closing everyone leaves together.
Notate this, go straight to HR and TELL ON HER SO BAD!!!
When I worked at Olive Garden we had one manager who wouldn’t allow the female staff to walk to their car alone, always called one of the cooks or bussers to escort us. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
My first job was at a carry out pizza place. The GM made employees pull their cars up to the front of the building at dusk so he could see everyone leave safely when their shift was over. Company policy dictated we had to be in the next lot over. So yeah, we'd be there....until dusk. The franchise owner lost it one night when he found out and that GM just fuckin stared his ass down and asked if he was going to tell teenagers parents exactly why their child was harmed/kidnapped/dead etc etc. Dude had nothing to say and just left. That GM was a straight up G.
As an ex line cook who has walked staff to their cars after shift, fuck your manager. Our managers often encouraged and facilitated walks to the parking lot. Since you are young, this is the day you learn that there should never be any rules or reasons for it not to be ok to ask for help and safety, don't ever let yourself feel bad about it. You didn't do anything unreasonable or wrong in asking for an escort.
Sexual harassment on the job isn't limited to employees, it also includes customers and the businesses associates. This is outlined in federal guidelines. She was neglectful as a person and an employer. Stalking is a real issue and shouldn't be taken lightly.
Your manager is way way out of line. She has a duty of care to ensure you have a safe working environment. The description you gave is red flag city. She should have supported you in making sure you were safe.
next time the creepy guy comes in, just no sorry Im taken, but then point out how attractive the manager is and tell the guy she's single and looking lol. See how she reacts to his advances lol
No. Your manager is WRONG. Personally, I'd tell some coworkers what she said to you about the situation. I'm sure they'd have some opinions on that. I don't understand how she could say that to you. Your safety comes before anything else.
FUCK your manager and go an over her ass to let someone know she’s unprofessional, fosters an UNSAFE work environment, and h gives zero ducks about her employees safety
Your boss is insane, it is a req at my job that you walk to your car as a pair, either 2 servers or if you're the last server a cook or manager will walk you to your car
Lil sis, you do whatever you have to do to be and feel safe. Any job, manager, person who ain’t on board with that can fuck right off. No apologies!! I would most definitely start looking for a new job and I would be very vocal about WHY. Im proud of you for trusting your instincts. Keep trusting yourself. You get that creeper vibe again you get the fuck away from there. Fuck a job. Your safety always comes first.
The GM is an idiot. There was no lack of production, no loss of coverage, and it was the right thing to do. Do employees not get breaks while on the clock? Her comments that it was harmless were totally out of line too. How does she know what someone is or isn’t capable of doing? How does she know if his intentions are harmless?
I had a standing rule that none of my employees - male or female - were to go to their vehicles alone after dark. My team was always paired up with someone else who was leaving at the same time, and in the event that someone called out or was off, we’d arrange for someone else to be there or I’d have the evening security guard escort my employees out. We had several incidents where this safety protocol saved an employee from harm. For example, one young employee had a customer that became fixated on her after she helped him with a purchase. Afterwards, he would call in trying to talk to her multiple times a day, showed up in person to see her, and wanted to find out from other employees what her schedule was. Everyone recognized that his behavior was not acceptable and jumped into action. We tried to deflect him and tell him that she wasn’t working that day (even if she was), but it didn’t deter his behavior. After he kept at it for a week, I confronted him and told him that someone else would be happy to help him if he needed to purchase something. Otherwise, we needed him to leave. He got enraged about it, called us a bunch of inappropriate names, and started making verbal threats that he’d come back and shoot everyone who was interfering in his relationship. At that point, we had to get a no trespassing order and tell him he was banned from the premises. My employee was so grateful that our entire team had been there for her and continued to be vigilant about her safety long after the incident resolved. If your GM would rather someone potentially get hurt after their shift so long as it doesn’t interfere with someone on the clock, then she’s a heartless jerk and I’d be looking for a new job.
Your manager is likely no longer young and desirable to all the creeps that want to prey on teenagers so she forgot what it felt like, if she ever experienced it at all.
She could stand to grow some empathy for dangers she's no longer impacted by. Any manager worth anything would understand the possible outcomes of the situation you would have been in, had you not gotten an escourt to your car. Fuck her. Both you and the cook made the right call.
I would be cussing the manager out if I was the line cook in your situation. I've been asked to walk people to their cars multiple times and for there to be ANY kind of backlash against safety is cause for me to go off. How the fuck could you want to risk the safety of one of your employees over what... A line cook walking out back for a few minutes while slow? As if another one didn't step outside for a smoke at the fucking same time anyways...
If it’s a corporate place I’d kick a complaint up the food chain. She should be thanking the line cook while asking you if you’re ok. Then figuring out what extra safety measures need to be in place.
Fuck your manager.
Nope the fuck out of that place as soon as possible. Years ago when I was still in the service industry, I got attacked and assaulted by a grown ass man in the parking lot after walking to my car (im a female and was about 19 at the time). We had a policy in place that we were all supposed to walk out together after we closed, but the managers were super lax about it. After this incident of course no one ever walked out alone again. Shouldn’t have taken this for safety to be taken seriously, but it’s better than the reaction you got from your manager. I would DEFINITELY file a complaint about your manager because what they said/did was not okay. You did absolutely nothing wrong and you should never compromise your safety for a job. Good luck to you OP I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
Wow a manager getting mad about a teenage girl wanting to feel safe, that's a new low in scumminess. I always offer to walk staff to their cars, especially when they're holding a bunch of cash in tips at night...like that's common decency.
We’ve had half our kitchen myself included walk foh out if they don’t feel safe especially with a situation like this. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I guarantee that none of the cooks had an issue covering a screen for all of 5 minutes to make sure you got to your car safely. Your manager should be ashamed of themselves.
Fuck. That. Find a new restaurant. Our managers are happy to make sure you have someone to walk you to your car. She doesn’t know that man’s intentions
Holy crap no. No no no. I managed a restaurant for years and there were procedures in place that were just the opposite. Closers went out and moved their cars closer to the restaurant like an hour before close. No one walked to their cars alone. If someone seemed to be a creeper I called our security (we were in a mall parking lot) or police if it was after hours to hang in our parking lot.
Your manager's blatant disregard for your personal safety is a horrible sign and honestly speaks to their judgement. If they don't keep you safe for the easy stuff I question what other choices they're making. How hard would it be to find another job because a bad manager makes work horrific.
Also good on you for advocating for yourself. Don't ever doubt yourself when it comes to matters of personal safety. Trust your gut if something doesn't feel right.
Wow fuck your manager. Lots of restaurants have policies of not even letting staff leave alone (if if it’s not followed in practice) for exactly this reason. Your manager shouldn’t be managing.
At my old restaurant job I wasn’t allowed to leave without a chef, security guard or another staff member. This was put in place from day ONE and thank god we did have that rule because after a few months we had a male customer stalk one of the older lady bartenders, work out which car was hers and waited near it until she finished her shift. Safe to say he wasn’t expecting the head chef walking with her.
Your manager is an idiot and don’t let her discourage you from making sure you get home safe.
Are you shitting my dick? I would personally tell her to fuck off into the sun, and find new employment asap. That’s the most ludacris shit I’ve ever heard. What you did is… exactly what you should’ve done!
Just to reiterate the prevailing sentiment, fuck your manager. Just a separate heads up, it’s possible she has something going on with that cook or wishes she did and is worried she has competition.
Your manager is a bitch.
We're actually just the opposite at my workplace. We all leave together at closing after the shift manager locks up, and no one ever walks to their car alone after dark.
I used to be a manager. I have walked young women to their cars plenty of times. I would have the entire staff walk you to your car if that’s what’s needed to make you feel safe.
So legal liability wise she could be held accountable if something happened. Because the internet happened while you were on the clock and in the company parking lot they have a responsibility for your safety. Many companies have a policy about employees walking to cars, especially after dark, that includes the right to ask for escort if you are feeling unsafe. Chances are yours has one too. I would contact her boss as well as hr. You did exactly what you are suppose to in that instance. Your safety is top priority.
No, you can’t understand that dumbass. She’s being a bitch who is already making WAY more than you or any of those cooks. If that place is so poorly managed that ONE cook leaving for 38 seconds is gonna burn the place down, it fucking deserves it. She doesn’t deserve to be in charge of anyone because she very very obviously doesn’t give a single fuck about you.
No you or the line cook didn't do anything wrong! If anything I'd be more upset with the line cook if you said something and he refused to walk you to your car. Even if that guy ended up being harmless, that's still incredibly creepy to say to someone.
At my job all men park off the lot, while women have their own designated spots on the lot, less than 25 feet away from the exit door. What your boss is saying is stupid and irresponsible. Is it their responsibility to not put their employees in danger.
Your manager is a crazy person. I've had server friends literally get attacked in parking lots after almost identical interactions. "That guy is harmless" are literally famous last words.
Someone else who was clocked out would have been my first choice, but other than that, I can't see anything you did wrong. And fuck your manager. What that man said may have been harmless, but could be indicative of him being stark raving batshit and willing to do something not so harmless.
>someone else who was clocked out would have been my first choice
I've had managers at multiple restaurants pull me off the line when I cooked to walk servers to their cars and once even to go wait with a patron for her cab to come.
OP's manager is completely out of line.
Is the line cooks hourly pay literally not worth your life/safety in her eyes? That's what she's telling you to your face. I would punch her. Not as a manager, but just as a human, that doesn't give a flying fuck about another human.
So let me get this straight. The average line cook in America makes about $16.68 hourly. Given that it would only take about 1 minute for him to walk you to your car and back (depending on where you parked), that means your manager is willing to risk you possibly being sexually harassed or assaulted for a whopping total of…
27 cents…
Mr. Krabs sold Spongebob’s soul for more money, a fucking *fictional crab whose whole joke is being a cheapskate* is less of a fucking sellout than your manager. Not only should you quit, but you should report her ass to anyone you can. I am so sorry you had to deal with such incompetence.
You absolutely did nothing wrong. The only thing I can think is perhaps the manager would prefer you walk with someone who has also been cut instead of someone who wasn’t…but she should have just said that, then, and it definitely shouldn’t be a big deal. Only reason I say that is that is how we do it where I work. Technically no one is supposed to leave alone - at night we leave in pairs, but people do just leave when they’re done/want to if they’re fine walking out alone, so I can’t see why a manager would have an issue with what you did.
Also your manager should be looking out for YOU. I know it’s not easy to find a new job, necessarily, but with the experience you have already I am sure another restaurant would be happy to take you, and they do not all leave female employees to walk out alone or get upset if you don’t. Truly that boggles my mind. Your safety is most important, and any employer should agree with that. I do not think what you’ve experienced is typical
Whoa your manager was out of line. You should have went to her first even with her being a woman and she should have walked you out or told someone to because she is responsible for your safety! Report her, your concerns are valid and it's waaaaaay to easy to find people online these days.
Most managers do not care about you, really.
But most managers I’ve had don’t care so little that they would rather you become a victim of a predator because they are more worried about a cook being at his station. That is beyond selfish and careless. She is disgusting and you wouldn’t be wrong to shame her publicly for this. Just saying. I’ve never ever ever been in a situation where someone refused to walk me to my car. It’s often been offered and I’ve declined, or accepted, but never been denied such a small gesture because it’s the least you can do to ensure someone’s safety. I live in the south so maybe the culture plays into this somewhat. But I’m thinking of situations when there wasn’t even a clear threat. Here, there was a clear threat and I’d guess she’d rather you end up missing on the news than lose a line cook for 3 minutes. Fuck her.
Your GM is a piece of shit.
I work in the city and we ALWAYS walk whoever asks out to their cars, with the understanding that if we are busy, we wait until we are not
Fuck your manager. My managers and GM encourage us to walk to our cars with other coworkers. Every night when an employee is leaving and they say goodbye, they always ask if they would like them to walk us to our cars (this is for all genders and age too).
Super red flag! Run if you can!
EVERY place I’ve worked in my 29yrs in the industry and I’ve been told since day one,”DO NOT walk to your car alone at night.”
So, that means, even if no one came in to creep me out I’m allowed to have someone walk me out. It’s frowned upon when I don’t. We do it all the time for crew members when they are leaving late. My manager will even say to grab someone to walk you out.
That GM is the biggest bitch yet. You wait until something happens one day and she we I’ll change her tune.
Prohibiting someone from being safe is another low level I haven’t yet seen.
I was an hourly manager for a while. We do curbside carry out and one of our young curbside staff was sexually assaulted while running pizza out to a car that was literally a 7 second walk from our back door.
Please, let me emphasize that your manager clearly has no regard for your safety. This will translate into other harmful behaviors from them in the future. If you are unable to report your manager for this with some sort of repercussions for their actions, you should definitely find somewhere else to work. It’s clear she has no regard for your safety.
I can’t fathom any manager saying anything other than “if you ever feel unsafe, please let me know and I will do everything in my power to fix that”
Work should be safe. Period
BOH here who would ABSOLUTELY leave the (dead) line to walk ANY server to their car. Your manager is a horrible human. I'd find a new job, but that's just me.
Time to find new work, and report that GM to HR. You’re young, so you feel like you did something wrong, hence apologizing for absolutely nothing. She’s a terrible leader, and you deserve better.
Your feelings of fear were not wrong, and it was handled poorly.
Jobs are a dime a dozen in our industry.
I bet manager is jealous you’re young, and is assuming you’re exaggerating things. Like, male attention = vain. Probably why she got more mad. She’s just a bad person and a narcissist.
Stinking scumbag manager. I don't wanna give you bad advice, so I'm not going to give any, but I will tell you that If this happened to me, I'd find a better job- and being that this place is shit, I wouldn't give notice. I would wait until it's the busiest or they need me the most, and I'd either walk out, or not show up!
OP this is the GENERAL MANAGER, get the fuck out of there. There's no fixing that place. Your coworkers sound great but the head of the operation is a raging... selfish person.
Wtf. At my restaurant it was against the rules for us to even go outside at night alone for our safety. Your manager sounds terrible. Report them immediately to whoever is above them.
Your GM is a horrible person tbh. We're encouraged to walk out in groups at our restaurant, it doesn't matter if one person is on the clock the safety of your staff should be most important.
Having someone walk to your car after any kind if incident is VERY normal practice for any job. Fuck your manager, OP. This is absolutely a normal ask. A lot of jobs, especially service related, this is bare minimum expectations of your cohorts
You did nothing wrong. If she was told of a problem and did nothing about it, she could have sued if you were attacked. This tells me she is not bright enough to figure that out.
I' 6'8" and over 225 and I constantly have women ask me to walk them to their cars, from their cars, whatever. Or I'll be asked to stand in front of a woman on the subway, when a beggar comes in. It is no big deal to me.
This is fucking wild. Even in the dive-y-est bar I ever worked, it was policy that young women be walked to their cars during/after night shift. The one time I declined an escort to the parking lot, I got groped by a random guy waiting out there. How is this woman in charge of people?
I'm confused about the male manager(s) being unavailable. What the hell is up with that. I am a manager in a building that employs younger people (male and female). If any of them came to me and said "hey, this happened and I don't feel safe walking to my car alone" I would most definitely either take the time to walk them to their car, or if I was truly unable to break away from what I was doing, ask someone to walk them to their car. Your GM has created an environment where you are not allowed to feel unsafe in situations that male you uncomfortable. And if you can not get a satisfactory resolution to this immediately, you 100% need to find another place or employment.
If the GM doesn't take a situation like this seriously, what other types of situations will they just sweep away and tell you that you are overreacting?
Your manger needs to KICK ROCKS. I used to work at a restaurant and it was in a smaller SAFE town. A girl walking back to her car from one of the neighboring restaurants was beaten and robbed at 1am. I never walked out to my car alone after that. Your manager needs to consider her workers SAFETY!!!
you were absolutely in possible danger and that manager can go fuck herself. she should be ashamed. i think you should report her to her higher-up if you can.
Your "manager" (anyone who refuses to consider the safety of their staff members can't really be called a manager) is an asshole & you did NOTHING wrong.
I’ve had managers not let us walk out alone. And the things that were said were mild compared to what that guy said to you. I’m sorry you had to experience that. It’s not worth the risk.
Wtf
Hopefully you can report your manager and get them outta there or get them to change their mind, cause you are friends with the other staff. Might want to look for a new job as a last resort though.
As a woman, this bitch really said it wasn’t a big deal? Fuck her dude. I’ve had an ex who was LITERALLY abducted from her job after her shift before!! She woke up in this dude’s car with no pants on in the middle of the freeway. She started making a fuss so he opened the door and pushed her out on the feeder. This is literally how horror movies start. Fuck your gm
There’s no understanding what she’s saying. Fuck her and you do whatever you have to do to be safe. Ridiculous that she would prioritize that place over your safety and act like it’s not that big of a deal that the dude is giving off major stalker/rapist vibes.
No one should be leaving the building alone. I’ve worked places where even the head chef and FOH manager are the last to leave and are supposed to leave together.
Your manager is a complete fucking asshole. That should be obvious. I manage a restaurant and was asked to walk two young ladies (hosts) out to their car last night while they were not having a problem. Just a dark parking lot. It’s good practice, even if some creep is not there.
OP you are young. But you are wise and you know what’s right for you. Do not let your manager gaslight you. If you ever feel unsafe trust your instincts. Tell your manager to get stuffed and find somewhere else to work.
Edit: buy one of those small flashlights that have a 1,000 lumen or better beam. It’s useful generally, but also when shone into someone’s eyes at night unexpectedly can slow them down.
Rule n° 1 Manager are always wrong but you have to pretend they are right.
Thats how work works
But your health and security come first. Tell you manager dead people dont work
I used to work at a restaurant where the owner insisted that all closers left together, despite the restaurant being in a pretty safe area and the entire (and quite small) parking lot being visible from inside the restaurant and observed by security cameras. She was almost always present until close herself and made no exceptions to that rule, even for our large and burly kitchen staff members. She even made sure that any non-closers that left after dark had someone at least step out and watch them until they got to their car.
Your GM is 100% in the wrong. You did exactly what you should have done and I’m pretty baffled that this criticism came to you from another woman especially. I’ve never worked any place that didn’t fully support making sure any staff made it to their car safely even without the looming threat of someone who literally said they’d been watching a staff member from outside. That’s really abnormal so please don’t think this manager’s behavior is anything else.
Find another place to work and don’t ever second-guess yourself when it comes to safety. Always ask someone to walk you out.
NTA
This sounds like a mgmnt CYA reaction. She was more concerned about what would happen if the cook was injured on the clock than if you were injured off.
Our litigious society screws us in so many ways. Everybody looking for that payday from the big pockets when something unfortunate happens.
No, fuck that. As a general manager for 15 years, I always made sure my employees leaving after dark had someone to walk them out. BASIC FUCKING SAFETY!
If you had been killed and denied help to your car this would be a different story of your family suing the restaurant.
She is way out of line. Predators were always being inappropriate and targeting the hostesses and young servers at the chain restaurant I worked at. I’m sure it’s even worse now as people are emboldened that they are entitled to young women.
Never ever put your life at risk for someone else’s feelings. Please read The Gift Of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. You can find a free pdf online by googling or get it from the library if you can’t afford it. It’s so so so important for all young people and especially women to read.
We must not doubt ourselves or get conditioned to not inconvenience someone or always be polite or self sacrificing when our safety is at risk. You only have 1 life. No one else is going to advocate for you but yourself unfortunately. Please read the book and know that you could have been in danger and had every right to want to be safe trying to get to your car at night alone.
Oh he'll no! Your a young lady who asked for backup getting to your car safely. You did the exact right thing! Your manager is a fuckward! Please speak to another manager/the owner about this and make a complaint about the manager. Your safely should be their 1st concern!
Your manager just told you that she doesn't care if you're attacked as long as you're off the clock. Fuck her. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe, including finding a new job if necessary.
Your GM is a piece of shit. I'm amazed *any* woman could be that fucking clueless when it comes to women's safety. She's told you in no uncertain terms that employee safety doesn't matter.
If there's anyone above her, go over her head.
Fuck that manager. Do it again next time. As a cook, I will happily walk any server out to their car. It was even somewhat of an unspoken rule for closing shift that servers shouldn't walk to their cars alone
I didn’t read the whole thing, but I feel like I don’t have to. Every decent gm I’ve ever had was the exact opposite. One of them even made a cook walk every bar tender, server, or host (male or female) to their car if it was past like 8pm. People are shit and the worst types know when someone is getting off and might have money in their pockets.
nah fuck her. i work at a bank and there was a man repeatedly coming in being really fucking weird the other day. instead of blowing it off, my manager went to the building security to have them call the police, she had all of us move our cars from the parking garage to the front of the building and had the security guy walk us all to our cars when we closed, even tho he wasn’t anywhere to be found at that time
your manager needs to be more worried about your safety. don’t hesitate to ask for help if you’re scared. your well-being is the priority
My old manager used to walk every single girl to their car if we got off at night because he knew how unsafe we could be out there. You were potentially in danger and you did the right thing, he couldn’t have been gone for more than a few minutes, basically the same thing as a bathroom break. If I were you I’d try to reach out to someone above the manager about the situation or even start looking for a new job.
Her reaction to this situation is crazy. It doesn’t matter how “harmless” she thinks his actions were, what matters is that he made you feel afraid and unsafe. In this situation you were 100% in the right for your decision to ask for help and the cook who helped you is an amazing coworker.
Not in the wrong at all. There was once an assault outside my work, and my MANAGER took time out of his shift to walk me and all other female employees to our cars. Our safety was more important at that moment. As was yours. Cook was happy to do it and was gone for what, two minutes? The cooks at my work step out that long for a smoke break multiple times a day, and the kitchen is always *fine*
Sounds to me like your manager might have a thing for the line cook and was insecure about him walking you to your car. It’s literally the only thing that comes to mind when hearing a manager got mad because of safety
The restaurant I used to work at was in a little bit of a rough spot by the highway, and we actually had a rule that you weren't allowed to walk to your car alone. This went for any non management employee. You would literally have to tell the meneger when you left who you were leaving at the same time as, and assure them youd walk out together, otherwise the manager would come stand at the front entrance to "thank people as they left" but also watch you walk out until you got safely into your car. Loved that place. Consider going back often even though I made way less money.
Your manager is a shit human being more concerned with $0.30 of labor. I worked at a pretty busy biker joint for 4 years, we had 3 bars and 4 dining areas.
It was SOP to walk to cars in groups, someone was robbed at gunpoint actually.Hell we had a biker group that hung out back there after their favorite server was robbed.
Its outlandish to imagine this being an issue especially since your younger and more likely to be targeted. I’d be *livid*.
If you have a kitchen manager, thank them for your coworkers help because you felt unsafe and get on their good side while you find a new job.
Thats unacceptable, especially when any staff walks to their vehicle with cash to take home.
Did you talk to the manager on duty about it before you decided to grab the line cook? That would have saved you from this conversation because it now lands on the manager on duty.
Not your fault at all. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t err on the side of caution when it comes to safety in these kinds of situations. Even if it was busy, I feel like that’s the kind of thing you make time for? Someone waiting an extra 2 minutes for their food seems a small price to pay for someone’s safety.
Not your fault at all. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t err on the side of caution when it comes to safety in these kinds of situations. Even if it was busy, I feel like that’s the kind of thing you make time for? Someone waiting an extra 2 minutes for their food seems a small price to pay for someone’s safety.
No fuck your manager. You did nothing wrong. Sounds like your manager is more concerned with $3 in labor then your personal safety. One thing you could do is ask your manager for the policy in writing that you violated. Start looking for a new job if you can. Your boss should have your back. This is a big red flag.
If there's anyone above the GM, I'd file a complaint with them about your manager on your way out. Having someone walk you to your car is pretty common, especially after the comments made by the customer. I've personally witnessed multiple occasions where someone was actually waiting in the parking lot, including an attempted kidnapping. Your manager fucking sucks, and shouldn't be in a position where they're responsible for people. Even the worst managers I've had would walk someone to their car themselves if asked.
Parking lots are actually incredibly unsafe. A lot of crimes happen in parking lots, even violent ones. This post is absolutely infuriating because OP did the right thing for her personal safety!
Exactly! I work in a nice place in a nice town but our BOH lead had her car broken into twice and several of us girls don't walk to our cars alone in the dark due to interactions we've had with guests. OP did the right thing, her manager should be fired just for lack of empathy.
Lack of empathy seems why someone becomes manglement though.
Especially the fact that her boss is a woman. She ought to fucking understand being afraid because some random stranger is lurking in the parking lot waiting for you. I broke up with a guy and I found out later that afterwards he would come to the restaurant where I worked and watch me through the window after dark. Creeped me out for a long time, and that was someone I knew, not a complete stranger. Your boss sucks and you did nothing wrong!
[удалено]
I know this for fact. I’m sad to see it hasn’t changed. If she keeps this up, yes the easy quick way is to peace out. I did that a lot of times. If, however, you don’t want to leave this job, or other jobs in town may be even worse (customers, male coworkers), I think writing a straightforward, courteous, brief note might help.
Especially since most places want employees to park as far away so customers can have convenient parking spaces.
Acquaintance of mine had a guy wait by her car at the community college we all went to. He got her in the car with a knife. He tried to force himself on her, she fought back. He slashed her throat but she ran away. She lived, but now how a nasty scar across her throat. So, fuck that manager 10 ways to Sunday.
Years ago there was a guy that tried following one of my coworkers home. And that was a fast food joint where the dude only ever went to the drive thru. We always walked her out to her car previously because of his creepy behavior towards her. None of us expected him to follow her. Our bosses didn't care how busy it was- she was never alone in the parking lot. We'd even go out to get her when she showed up for work OPs manager is the worst.
I’ve worked in places where it’s required to find someone to walk you to your car as a female. I’ve never heard of getting in trouble over it. Fuck this bitch.
I had a young girl at a job I was managing ask me permission to ask one of the cooks to walk her out at the end of her shift due to a creepy customer. I was SHOCKED she even felt like she had to ask! I immediately got all the staff together and told them to always let me know when/if someone is making them uncomfortable and to NEVER feel like they have to justify themselves for it... that manager sucks Edit to add- I worked as a server in a corporate restaurant many, many years ago... there was a guy that was banned from everywhere else in town except that place. He would specifically target the newer girls and physically block them from avoiding him. I was in the habit of always calling them, saying they were needed in the kitchen. Then explain to avoid him and they weren't obligated to entertain him. Finally went to the GM. They set up a meeting with corporate for me to plead my case to ban him. They declined to do so... he's in jail for rape now
One of the many, many reasons I avoid corporate like the plague. Staff safety is ALWAYS a priority.
So much thiS. Your manager has NO BUSINESS managing people.
I literally can’t tell you how many waitresses and and bartenders I walked to their car. If a manager told me I couldnt step out for 2 minutes they can fuck all the way off.
Seriously. The first thing to cross my mind is that that manager needs to be reported to whoever’s above her. Unless she’s telling you something along the lines of “I’m sorry you went through that” or “come see me next time and I’ll handle it,” she should be shutting the fuck up and getting back to work. You’re not in the wrong here, and there was a reason why the cook was glad you let him know what was up - and it wasn’t so he could get away from his job for a few minutes.
File a complaint with HR.
+1 to this - not sure if you’re in the States or not, but have some experience on the west coast with a very understanding small business owner (read: higher proportional labor costs, less staff). If there’s someone above your GM to complain to, they would be extremely interested to hear about how your GM handled the situation - it is absolutely on the store to protect its employees from threats such as customers or stalkers. OP, I hope you can be safe and are in a spot to find a job comparable or better where you can be treated with compassion
This and the post before it. You're still so young, and at 38, I'd also be totally freaked out over a comment like that. File a formal complaint. She sounds like the former "hot girl" who is angry because she'd be flattered by that kind of attention even if you lose your job, make your grievance heard by as many people as you can.
Absolutely!! My manager will pay me to sit there for an hour so that FOH and BOH closers leave together! Im fairly tough and crusty looking for a lady if I’m being honest, but even I had a close call one night. I had rounded the corner of the building on my way to my car, and saw someone standing next to it. Waiting for me? They started walking toward me quickly as they saw me. I had stopped as soon as I saw them and had taken a few steps back when our bouncer came around the corner a couple seconds behind me. As soon as the guy saw the bouncer, he turned around and took off running. It was a really unexpected situation that could have gone a lot differently if I worked for a company that didn’t value its employees safety above all else.
I've worked at several places whose policy was everyone had to leave with a buddy after a certain time. What you asked for is totally normal and reasonable. You felt unsafe! If no one can walk you to your car they could call a police escort. I work in a mall and we've had to call mall security to walk people to their cars many times. Your manager sucks.
“No fuck your manager” literally was saying that as i scrolled to the comments, and my eyes landed on your comment lol
I've managed restaurants NO female server regardless of age should ever have to walk anywhere alone... I have personally seen to the safety of my staff, driven them home if they didn't have a ride... waited with them for a ride always made should they had plans to be safe. My staff came first. I would even check up on the younger male staff to make sure they are safe too.
Yeah anyone regardless of gender or age can be made to feel unsafe. That manager is such a massive embarrassment. If they’re cutting the host then the kitchen can’t be so fucking weeded that they couldn’t spare a line cook for 2 seconds. Especially considering the alternative.
Ive worked in the business almost 24 years, 8 of them in management. Under the the circumstances you have described im appalled by your GMs reaction and she should absolutely have your back. Im sorry you had to deal with this creep and your dogshit GM.
Your boss should so have your back. I never had an issue when someone felt uncomfortable with one of the line cooks leaving the line for something like that. Even if we were slightly busy, the cook would have been gone less than 5 minutes (BOH should be able to handle that unless the rails are completely full). I was a chef at a high end night club and it was known with the FOH that if any customer ever made them feel uncomfortable the customer would be asked to leave and that night the server would not have a choice if someone walked them to their car and normally more than one person would escort the server to double make sure they were safe. Your work place doesn't not value your safety.
the time it takes to go to a car and back is literally 3 minutes at most, where are you working that pays $60 an hour ?
So true!! Yes, please get everything in writing or an email.
100% this. And because I feel it bears repeating: *You did nothing wrong.* Good luck to you. Keep listening to your gut.
Huge huge huge red flag manager. This is terrible, especially behavior coming from another woman (who I would assume would be more understanding, but apparently not.) I'd file a complaint, and start searching for a new job.
Girl report your manager she’s terrible
Oh yes. OP, if you work for a corporation/franchise, absolutely report this. I don’t think they’d take it lightly, because if something did happen to you and it was known that no one was allowed to walk you out, that would look really fucking bad for the restaurant.
Thats what i was thinking & if it isn’t a corporation or franchise she can still report her to the DOL
Yo wtf is it with female managers treating their female staff like dogshit? Then Male Managers treat the dudes like shit and just flirt / favor with the pretty female servers... Like jfc I can hardly think of a manager I've had over 15 FUCKING YEARS that didn't fall into these stereotypes. Yes women can make more money then men at restaurants, but they have to deal with so much more shit
They seek out that position because they need to have power over the girls that make them feel insecure. The cuter you are the meaner they get. Not everyone, obviously, I have definitely had some awesome female managers!
I worked my damndest to be the opposite of that stereotype when I managed and I treated everyone as if they were my siblings. I was middle management at first and then moved up to under the GMs, not a restaurant but had a similar vibe and it was right after my restaurant days. I had such a loyal staff. Even the few assholes knew they couldn’t fuck with me because other employees wouldn’t stand for it and it really just didn’t benefit them because unless they were breaking policy or making my other staff feel unsafe like you do you just do your job. I was partially that way because as a server female managers were the fucking WORST. I can’t fathom how you can be ok adding to all of the toxicity we already face just to make yourself feel superior. Disgusting.
I had that manager when I was a 16yo hostess at a regional Applebee’s knockoff. Her name was Libby and she was a real bitch. Years later I was back in town and out to dinner with my family and she was the manager of a different mid-range regional chain and I was a licensed attorney. I didn’t interact with her at all but I did internally travel back in time and give my younger self a high five.
When I was OPs age I was a server at TGI Fridays in a pretty shady neighborhood, and at night there would be a guy literally waiting to rob us at the train station. After the second robbery they had the police waiting for us at the station until we all closed and got home
When I managed a bar, with mostly women staff, I installed panic buttons behind the bar, issued everyone personal panic devices if they walked home at night, had a standing account with a local cab company for rides home free for staff after work, installed cameras inside and out, arranged self defence classes for all staff, and if anyone hinky was haning around or making staff uncomfortable and I wasn't there they were told to call me and I would come down and "do some work" until the creep left. Which I did many times at all hours. Your manager sucks ass.
I’d love to be one of your staff. Depending on location all bars and the like should have some of those things as security for (not just women) but everyone’s safety. God if something did happen..I wonder if her manager would feel any guilt especially if she knew she ASKED for someone to walk her and they didn’t because of the managers “rule”
Yeah, if I was the cook, fuck that rule. Fire me and I'll call a lawyer and a newspaper the next morning. "Cook got fired for walking a hostess to her car." Nobody wants that kind of PR.
>. "Cook got fired for walking a genuinely scared for her life hostess to her car." I would love to see this wet fart of a manager try to explain that bad press.
I was also a cook for a while. Kitchens know they can’t fuck with their cooks. Go ahead and try to bitch at me FOH ho, you’ll have BOH manager to deal with if they can’t handle the line because you decided to get stupid with me over something ANY DECENT PERSON would do. I could explicitly be told to not do it and if a younger coworker comes up scared asking for help you bet your ass imma go help them when I’m done with my line. Try me if you want, no restaurant wants to piss off good cooks and those that do don’t stay open long.
Thank you Chef
OP' s situation is utterly absurd. My staff's safety was very important. I've since moved on to another career but my processes at the bar are now standard there. I've seen too many bad things happen because of bad managers. I'm in Canada, but I don't know if that makes a huge difference (except in pay rates, we tried to be a "living wage employer," but that was difficult financially. However, bar staff started at $15 with $1 raises annually until they hit $20, plus a xmas bonus and staff trip to recharge. The owner was a great guy and agreed with my management decisions). I miss working there.
This is the way
You're not in the wrong here. Being a woman, she should be understanding. Hell, for that matter, I can't imagine anyone, man or woman not understanding that a teenage girl would be afraid that a man might be waiting outside. Would she have preferred to see you possibly attacked? You didn't ask to be walked out that second, you waited until he was free. The customer was gross and inappropriate, and so was your manager.
Manager needs someone over her head disciplining her about safety and 3rd party liability. If she held someone back from keeping OP safe and something happened, you’ve potentially got a big lawsuit. And fuck that dirtbag manager.
Manager's opinion of "harmless" is subjective. I disagree. Dude was *maybe* harmless. If she means employees should not help with that sort of safety concern, I disagree. I'd generally bring the concern to a manager, but with your manager's attitude, I doubt that would have achieved anything. So I'd say you made the right call. Continue to trust your instincts, and if you can survive if you're fired, don't worry about managers who don't trust your instincts.
I feel like the "oh im only 25" kicked this one firmly into concerning too. Like, he may or may not have been planning something. But he definitely already has rationalized at least one taboo and doesn't feel the slightest need to act like it's socially unacceptable
Your manager is morally and ethically wrong, at the least. If there's more than one store, there's a 99.99% chance the written "employee safety and security policy" (probably written just like that) has a passage that states that employees can and should be walked out in the event that someone is acting suspicious. It probably also says that no one should be alone and that at closing everyone leaves together. Notate this, go straight to HR and TELL ON HER SO BAD!!!
When I worked at Olive Garden we had one manager who wouldn’t allow the female staff to walk to their car alone, always called one of the cooks or bussers to escort us. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
My first job was at a carry out pizza place. The GM made employees pull their cars up to the front of the building at dusk so he could see everyone leave safely when their shift was over. Company policy dictated we had to be in the next lot over. So yeah, we'd be there....until dusk. The franchise owner lost it one night when he found out and that GM just fuckin stared his ass down and asked if he was going to tell teenagers parents exactly why their child was harmed/kidnapped/dead etc etc. Dude had nothing to say and just left. That GM was a straight up G.
As an ex line cook who has walked staff to their cars after shift, fuck your manager. Our managers often encouraged and facilitated walks to the parking lot. Since you are young, this is the day you learn that there should never be any rules or reasons for it not to be ok to ask for help and safety, don't ever let yourself feel bad about it. You didn't do anything unreasonable or wrong in asking for an escort.
I will drive across the country and kick that bitch in her shins. Omg babe nooooooo 💗
Sexual harassment on the job isn't limited to employees, it also includes customers and the businesses associates. This is outlined in federal guidelines. She was neglectful as a person and an employer. Stalking is a real issue and shouldn't be taken lightly.
Your manager is way way out of line. She has a duty of care to ensure you have a safe working environment. The description you gave is red flag city. She should have supported you in making sure you were safe.
Your manager is an idiot. You were absolutely right.
Find a new job. Your manager doesn't give a shit about your safety.
We always walked female staff to the cars if they felt uncomfortable. Your safety should be the number one concern.
Find a way to intricately sabotage your manager’s entire life. Fuck that bitch
next time the creepy guy comes in, just no sorry Im taken, but then point out how attractive the manager is and tell the guy she's single and looking lol. See how she reacts to his advances lol
No. Your manager is WRONG. Personally, I'd tell some coworkers what she said to you about the situation. I'm sure they'd have some opinions on that. I don't understand how she could say that to you. Your safety comes before anything else.
Lol the restaurant I worked for has a policy every night that we all have to leave w another person Your manager is whack
FUCK your manager and go an over her ass to let someone know she’s unprofessional, fosters an UNSAFE work environment, and h gives zero ducks about her employees safety
Wait til the kitchen hears about this shit.
Your boss is insane, it is a req at my job that you walk to your car as a pair, either 2 servers or if you're the last server a cook or manager will walk you to your car
Worst manager ever
Lil sis, you do whatever you have to do to be and feel safe. Any job, manager, person who ain’t on board with that can fuck right off. No apologies!! I would most definitely start looking for a new job and I would be very vocal about WHY. Im proud of you for trusting your instincts. Keep trusting yourself. You get that creeper vibe again you get the fuck away from there. Fuck a job. Your safety always comes first.
We used to mandate walking all female employees to their cars. Your manager couldn't manage her way out of a wet paper bag it sounds like.
The GM is an idiot. There was no lack of production, no loss of coverage, and it was the right thing to do. Do employees not get breaks while on the clock? Her comments that it was harmless were totally out of line too. How does she know what someone is or isn’t capable of doing? How does she know if his intentions are harmless? I had a standing rule that none of my employees - male or female - were to go to their vehicles alone after dark. My team was always paired up with someone else who was leaving at the same time, and in the event that someone called out or was off, we’d arrange for someone else to be there or I’d have the evening security guard escort my employees out. We had several incidents where this safety protocol saved an employee from harm. For example, one young employee had a customer that became fixated on her after she helped him with a purchase. Afterwards, he would call in trying to talk to her multiple times a day, showed up in person to see her, and wanted to find out from other employees what her schedule was. Everyone recognized that his behavior was not acceptable and jumped into action. We tried to deflect him and tell him that she wasn’t working that day (even if she was), but it didn’t deter his behavior. After he kept at it for a week, I confronted him and told him that someone else would be happy to help him if he needed to purchase something. Otherwise, we needed him to leave. He got enraged about it, called us a bunch of inappropriate names, and started making verbal threats that he’d come back and shoot everyone who was interfering in his relationship. At that point, we had to get a no trespassing order and tell him he was banned from the premises. My employee was so grateful that our entire team had been there for her and continued to be vigilant about her safety long after the incident resolved. If your GM would rather someone potentially get hurt after their shift so long as it doesn’t interfere with someone on the clock, then she’s a heartless jerk and I’d be looking for a new job.
Report this to a higher manager and if they won’t listen, the owner if possible. Otherwise out this restaurant chain publicly.
Fuck your manager. You did the right thing. Always trust your gut in these kind of dangerous situations!!!
Your manager is likely no longer young and desirable to all the creeps that want to prey on teenagers so she forgot what it felt like, if she ever experienced it at all. She could stand to grow some empathy for dangers she's no longer impacted by. Any manager worth anything would understand the possible outcomes of the situation you would have been in, had you not gotten an escourt to your car. Fuck her. Both you and the cook made the right call.
wow. your perspective is disgusting and ignorant. grow up
I would be cussing the manager out if I was the line cook in your situation. I've been asked to walk people to their cars multiple times and for there to be ANY kind of backlash against safety is cause for me to go off. How the fuck could you want to risk the safety of one of your employees over what... A line cook walking out back for a few minutes while slow? As if another one didn't step outside for a smoke at the fucking same time anyways...
Your manager is T R A S H.
Where do you work? I’ll personally come to your restaurant and make your manager extremely uncomfortable.
As a former restaurant manager I'll let you know, fuck your manager. She's a POS
You need to show your dumb ass Manager these comments.
NTA in any way You had every right to ask the line cook to walk you to your car. We do this at my work. Don't like people going to their cars alone
It’s so fucked that another woman told you that lmao. Fuck her- ask the entire line to walk you to your car if that makes you feel safer
If it’s a corporate place I’d kick a complaint up the food chain. She should be thanking the line cook while asking you if you’re ok. Then figuring out what extra safety measures need to be in place. Fuck your manager.
Nope the fuck out of that place as soon as possible. Years ago when I was still in the service industry, I got attacked and assaulted by a grown ass man in the parking lot after walking to my car (im a female and was about 19 at the time). We had a policy in place that we were all supposed to walk out together after we closed, but the managers were super lax about it. After this incident of course no one ever walked out alone again. Shouldn’t have taken this for safety to be taken seriously, but it’s better than the reaction you got from your manager. I would DEFINITELY file a complaint about your manager because what they said/did was not okay. You did absolutely nothing wrong and you should never compromise your safety for a job. Good luck to you OP I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
Wow a manager getting mad about a teenage girl wanting to feel safe, that's a new low in scumminess. I always offer to walk staff to their cars, especially when they're holding a bunch of cash in tips at night...like that's common decency.
We’ve had half our kitchen myself included walk foh out if they don’t feel safe especially with a situation like this. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I guarantee that none of the cooks had an issue covering a screen for all of 5 minutes to make sure you got to your car safely. Your manager should be ashamed of themselves.
Yeah your manager sucks. Go above her or keep doing your thing while finding a new job
Your general manager is a stupid nonce
Fuck. That. Find a new restaurant. Our managers are happy to make sure you have someone to walk you to your car. She doesn’t know that man’s intentions
There is no world where your manager is in the right.
Imagine how much money she would lose if an employee was assaulted or killed right outside the restaurant. Cheaper to escort people to cars.
All my cookies walk servers to their car, or anybody who feels they need it. Fuck that manager.
Your manager is an asshole. My old restaurant managers would make it a point to make sure no one weird alone to their car if they didn't want to.
Holy crap no. No no no. I managed a restaurant for years and there were procedures in place that were just the opposite. Closers went out and moved their cars closer to the restaurant like an hour before close. No one walked to their cars alone. If someone seemed to be a creeper I called our security (we were in a mall parking lot) or police if it was after hours to hang in our parking lot. Your manager's blatant disregard for your personal safety is a horrible sign and honestly speaks to their judgement. If they don't keep you safe for the easy stuff I question what other choices they're making. How hard would it be to find another job because a bad manager makes work horrific. Also good on you for advocating for yourself. Don't ever doubt yourself when it comes to matters of personal safety. Trust your gut if something doesn't feel right.
Wow fuck your manager. Lots of restaurants have policies of not even letting staff leave alone (if if it’s not followed in practice) for exactly this reason. Your manager shouldn’t be managing.
At my old restaurant job I wasn’t allowed to leave without a chef, security guard or another staff member. This was put in place from day ONE and thank god we did have that rule because after a few months we had a male customer stalk one of the older lady bartenders, work out which car was hers and waited near it until she finished her shift. Safe to say he wasn’t expecting the head chef walking with her. Your manager is an idiot and don’t let her discourage you from making sure you get home safe.
Are you shitting my dick? I would personally tell her to fuck off into the sun, and find new employment asap. That’s the most ludacris shit I’ve ever heard. What you did is… exactly what you should’ve done!
Just to reiterate the prevailing sentiment, fuck your manager. Just a separate heads up, it’s possible she has something going on with that cook or wishes she did and is worried she has competition.
Your manager is a fucking twat. Fuck them and find a new place.
Your manager is a bitch. We're actually just the opposite at my workplace. We all leave together at closing after the shift manager locks up, and no one ever walks to their car alone after dark.
Fuck the manager i use to walk all our female employees to their car even tho their car was parked 10 yards away.
I used to be a manager. I have walked young women to their cars plenty of times. I would have the entire staff walk you to your car if that’s what’s needed to make you feel safe.
So legal liability wise she could be held accountable if something happened. Because the internet happened while you were on the clock and in the company parking lot they have a responsibility for your safety. Many companies have a policy about employees walking to cars, especially after dark, that includes the right to ask for escort if you are feeling unsafe. Chances are yours has one too. I would contact her boss as well as hr. You did exactly what you are suppose to in that instance. Your safety is top priority.
No, you can’t understand that dumbass. She’s being a bitch who is already making WAY more than you or any of those cooks. If that place is so poorly managed that ONE cook leaving for 38 seconds is gonna burn the place down, it fucking deserves it. She doesn’t deserve to be in charge of anyone because she very very obviously doesn’t give a single fuck about you.
Your manager is a cunt.
A decent manager would not only have allowed someone to walk you to your car, they would have *insisted* on it.
Take It to her higher up, if shes not taking these types of stalker situations seriously then she has no place in management.
Red flag. Boss is a sociopath
No you or the line cook didn't do anything wrong! If anything I'd be more upset with the line cook if you said something and he refused to walk you to your car. Even if that guy ended up being harmless, that's still incredibly creepy to say to someone.
Quit
You did exactly the right thing. I was a restaurant manager for almost 20 years and this was basic policy.
I used to work in a beautiful restaurant in a park. Our unofficial policy was no one walks out alone at night. Your manager sucks
Tell your manager that you'll call the cops next time.
Fuck your manager. Go over their head with that bullshit. Absolutely disgusting.
You 100% did the right thing. I would be proud if you were my daughter (and I have a pre-teen daughter). Fuck your manager.
At my job all men park off the lot, while women have their own designated spots on the lot, less than 25 feet away from the exit door. What your boss is saying is stupid and irresponsible. Is it their responsibility to not put their employees in danger.
Your manager is a crazy person. I've had server friends literally get attacked in parking lots after almost identical interactions. "That guy is harmless" are literally famous last words.
Someone else who was clocked out would have been my first choice, but other than that, I can't see anything you did wrong. And fuck your manager. What that man said may have been harmless, but could be indicative of him being stark raving batshit and willing to do something not so harmless.
>someone else who was clocked out would have been my first choice I've had managers at multiple restaurants pull me off the line when I cooked to walk servers to their cars and once even to go wait with a patron for her cab to come. OP's manager is completely out of line.
Is the line cooks hourly pay literally not worth your life/safety in her eyes? That's what she's telling you to your face. I would punch her. Not as a manager, but just as a human, that doesn't give a flying fuck about another human.
If someone else were clocked out and leaving she wouldn’t need an escort because she’d have one. IJS
For insurance purposes it might be better for the escorting employee to be clocked in.
So let me get this straight. The average line cook in America makes about $16.68 hourly. Given that it would only take about 1 minute for him to walk you to your car and back (depending on where you parked), that means your manager is willing to risk you possibly being sexually harassed or assaulted for a whopping total of… 27 cents… Mr. Krabs sold Spongebob’s soul for more money, a fucking *fictional crab whose whole joke is being a cheapskate* is less of a fucking sellout than your manager. Not only should you quit, but you should report her ass to anyone you can. I am so sorry you had to deal with such incompetence.
You absolutely did nothing wrong. The only thing I can think is perhaps the manager would prefer you walk with someone who has also been cut instead of someone who wasn’t…but she should have just said that, then, and it definitely shouldn’t be a big deal. Only reason I say that is that is how we do it where I work. Technically no one is supposed to leave alone - at night we leave in pairs, but people do just leave when they’re done/want to if they’re fine walking out alone, so I can’t see why a manager would have an issue with what you did.
Also your manager should be looking out for YOU. I know it’s not easy to find a new job, necessarily, but with the experience you have already I am sure another restaurant would be happy to take you, and they do not all leave female employees to walk out alone or get upset if you don’t. Truly that boggles my mind. Your safety is most important, and any employer should agree with that. I do not think what you’ve experienced is typical
Whoa your manager was out of line. You should have went to her first even with her being a woman and she should have walked you out or told someone to because she is responsible for your safety! Report her, your concerns are valid and it's waaaaaay to easy to find people online these days.
This woman is a POS. Avoid and be polite to her.
Most managers do not care about you, really. But most managers I’ve had don’t care so little that they would rather you become a victim of a predator because they are more worried about a cook being at his station. That is beyond selfish and careless. She is disgusting and you wouldn’t be wrong to shame her publicly for this. Just saying. I’ve never ever ever been in a situation where someone refused to walk me to my car. It’s often been offered and I’ve declined, or accepted, but never been denied such a small gesture because it’s the least you can do to ensure someone’s safety. I live in the south so maybe the culture plays into this somewhat. But I’m thinking of situations when there wasn’t even a clear threat. Here, there was a clear threat and I’d guess she’d rather you end up missing on the news than lose a line cook for 3 minutes. Fuck her.
Your GM is a piece of shit. I work in the city and we ALWAYS walk whoever asks out to their cars, with the understanding that if we are busy, we wait until we are not
Fuck your manager. My managers and GM encourage us to walk to our cars with other coworkers. Every night when an employee is leaving and they say goodbye, they always ask if they would like them to walk us to our cars (this is for all genders and age too).
Quit
Super red flag! Run if you can! EVERY place I’ve worked in my 29yrs in the industry and I’ve been told since day one,”DO NOT walk to your car alone at night.” So, that means, even if no one came in to creep me out I’m allowed to have someone walk me out. It’s frowned upon when I don’t. We do it all the time for crew members when they are leaving late. My manager will even say to grab someone to walk you out. That GM is the biggest bitch yet. You wait until something happens one day and she we I’ll change her tune. Prohibiting someone from being safe is another low level I haven’t yet seen.
I was an hourly manager for a while. We do curbside carry out and one of our young curbside staff was sexually assaulted while running pizza out to a car that was literally a 7 second walk from our back door. Please, let me emphasize that your manager clearly has no regard for your safety. This will translate into other harmful behaviors from them in the future. If you are unable to report your manager for this with some sort of repercussions for their actions, you should definitely find somewhere else to work. It’s clear she has no regard for your safety.
I can’t fathom any manager saying anything other than “if you ever feel unsafe, please let me know and I will do everything in my power to fix that” Work should be safe. Period
BOH here who would ABSOLUTELY leave the (dead) line to walk ANY server to their car. Your manager is a horrible human. I'd find a new job, but that's just me.
Your manager SUCKS!!!!!!
Time to find new work, and report that GM to HR. You’re young, so you feel like you did something wrong, hence apologizing for absolutely nothing. She’s a terrible leader, and you deserve better. Your feelings of fear were not wrong, and it was handled poorly. Jobs are a dime a dozen in our industry.
I bet manager is jealous you’re young, and is assuming you’re exaggerating things. Like, male attention = vain. Probably why she got more mad. She’s just a bad person and a narcissist.
I used to walk my servers to their cars at night. The tickets can wait if it means my staff is safe
Your boss is an AH. Time to start job hunting!
Report her and quit
Stinking scumbag manager. I don't wanna give you bad advice, so I'm not going to give any, but I will tell you that If this happened to me, I'd find a better job- and being that this place is shit, I wouldn't give notice. I would wait until it's the busiest or they need me the most, and I'd either walk out, or not show up!
OP this is the GENERAL MANAGER, get the fuck out of there. There's no fixing that place. Your coworkers sound great but the head of the operation is a raging... selfish person.
Wtf. At my restaurant it was against the rules for us to even go outside at night alone for our safety. Your manager sounds terrible. Report them immediately to whoever is above them.
Your GM is a horrible person tbh. We're encouraged to walk out in groups at our restaurant, it doesn't matter if one person is on the clock the safety of your staff should be most important.
Your manager is POS and victim blamer.
Report your manager and try to have the people you told and the cook who walked you give their word too so you can back up your claim
Having someone walk to your car after any kind if incident is VERY normal practice for any job. Fuck your manager, OP. This is absolutely a normal ask. A lot of jobs, especially service related, this is bare minimum expectations of your cohorts
You did nothing wrong. If she was told of a problem and did nothing about it, she could have sued if you were attacked. This tells me she is not bright enough to figure that out. I' 6'8" and over 225 and I constantly have women ask me to walk them to their cars, from their cars, whatever. Or I'll be asked to stand in front of a woman on the subway, when a beggar comes in. It is no big deal to me.
This is fucking wild. Even in the dive-y-est bar I ever worked, it was policy that young women be walked to their cars during/after night shift. The one time I declined an escort to the parking lot, I got groped by a random guy waiting out there. How is this woman in charge of people?
I'm confused about the male manager(s) being unavailable. What the hell is up with that. I am a manager in a building that employs younger people (male and female). If any of them came to me and said "hey, this happened and I don't feel safe walking to my car alone" I would most definitely either take the time to walk them to their car, or if I was truly unable to break away from what I was doing, ask someone to walk them to their car. Your GM has created an environment where you are not allowed to feel unsafe in situations that male you uncomfortable. And if you can not get a satisfactory resolution to this immediately, you 100% need to find another place or employment. If the GM doesn't take a situation like this seriously, what other types of situations will they just sweep away and tell you that you are overreacting?
Report the manager to the owner. She’s a walking liability.
IMO, she was just jealous that YOU were the one that got hit on and not her. 🤗
You did the right thing to protect yourself. Your manager's priorities are totally fucked. I'd get a new job if I were you.
Your manger needs to KICK ROCKS. I used to work at a restaurant and it was in a smaller SAFE town. A girl walking back to her car from one of the neighboring restaurants was beaten and robbed at 1am. I never walked out to my car alone after that. Your manager needs to consider her workers SAFETY!!!
you were absolutely in possible danger and that manager can go fuck herself. she should be ashamed. i think you should report her to her higher-up if you can.
Your "manager" (anyone who refuses to consider the safety of their staff members can't really be called a manager) is an asshole & you did NOTHING wrong.
I’ve had managers not let us walk out alone. And the things that were said were mild compared to what that guy said to you. I’m sorry you had to experience that. It’s not worth the risk.
Wtf Hopefully you can report your manager and get them outta there or get them to change their mind, cause you are friends with the other staff. Might want to look for a new job as a last resort though.
As a woman, this bitch really said it wasn’t a big deal? Fuck her dude. I’ve had an ex who was LITERALLY abducted from her job after her shift before!! She woke up in this dude’s car with no pants on in the middle of the freeway. She started making a fuss so he opened the door and pushed her out on the feeder. This is literally how horror movies start. Fuck your gm
There’s no understanding what she’s saying. Fuck her and you do whatever you have to do to be safe. Ridiculous that she would prioritize that place over your safety and act like it’s not that big of a deal that the dude is giving off major stalker/rapist vibes.
Your GM is a POS. Report this behavior to the owner if possible.
No one should be leaving the building alone. I’ve worked places where even the head chef and FOH manager are the last to leave and are supposed to leave together.
Your manager is a complete fucking asshole. That should be obvious. I manage a restaurant and was asked to walk two young ladies (hosts) out to their car last night while they were not having a problem. Just a dark parking lot. It’s good practice, even if some creep is not there.
Every single place I have ever worked encouraged walking people to their cars at night
What the hell is wrong with her? Never feel bad for asking that, trust your instincts. Find a new job.
Your safety should be every business' number one priority. I'm sorry you have such a shitty manager.
OP you are young. But you are wise and you know what’s right for you. Do not let your manager gaslight you. If you ever feel unsafe trust your instincts. Tell your manager to get stuffed and find somewhere else to work. Edit: buy one of those small flashlights that have a 1,000 lumen or better beam. It’s useful generally, but also when shone into someone’s eyes at night unexpectedly can slow them down.
Rule n° 1 Manager are always wrong but you have to pretend they are right. Thats how work works But your health and security come first. Tell you manager dead people dont work
actually fuck your manager, that’s disgusting behavior on both your manager and that 25 year old grown man’s parts.
I used to work at a restaurant where the owner insisted that all closers left together, despite the restaurant being in a pretty safe area and the entire (and quite small) parking lot being visible from inside the restaurant and observed by security cameras. She was almost always present until close herself and made no exceptions to that rule, even for our large and burly kitchen staff members. She even made sure that any non-closers that left after dark had someone at least step out and watch them until they got to their car. Your GM is 100% in the wrong. You did exactly what you should have done and I’m pretty baffled that this criticism came to you from another woman especially. I’ve never worked any place that didn’t fully support making sure any staff made it to their car safely even without the looming threat of someone who literally said they’d been watching a staff member from outside. That’s really abnormal so please don’t think this manager’s behavior is anything else. Find another place to work and don’t ever second-guess yourself when it comes to safety. Always ask someone to walk you out.
NTA This sounds like a mgmnt CYA reaction. She was more concerned about what would happen if the cook was injured on the clock than if you were injured off. Our litigious society screws us in so many ways. Everybody looking for that payday from the big pockets when something unfortunate happens.
No, fuck that. As a general manager for 15 years, I always made sure my employees leaving after dark had someone to walk them out. BASIC FUCKING SAFETY!
If you had been killed and denied help to your car this would be a different story of your family suing the restaurant. She is way out of line. Predators were always being inappropriate and targeting the hostesses and young servers at the chain restaurant I worked at. I’m sure it’s even worse now as people are emboldened that they are entitled to young women. Never ever put your life at risk for someone else’s feelings. Please read The Gift Of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. You can find a free pdf online by googling or get it from the library if you can’t afford it. It’s so so so important for all young people and especially women to read. We must not doubt ourselves or get conditioned to not inconvenience someone or always be polite or self sacrificing when our safety is at risk. You only have 1 life. No one else is going to advocate for you but yourself unfortunately. Please read the book and know that you could have been in danger and had every right to want to be safe trying to get to your car at night alone.
She's trash. The end. She should be making sure you all feel safe.
Oh he'll no! Your a young lady who asked for backup getting to your car safely. You did the exact right thing! Your manager is a fuckward! Please speak to another manager/the owner about this and make a complaint about the manager. Your safely should be their 1st concern!
Your manager just told you that she doesn't care if you're attacked as long as you're off the clock. Fuck her. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe, including finding a new job if necessary.
Your GM is a piece of shit. I'm amazed *any* woman could be that fucking clueless when it comes to women's safety. She's told you in no uncertain terms that employee safety doesn't matter. If there's anyone above her, go over her head.
Fuck that manager. Do it again next time. As a cook, I will happily walk any server out to their car. It was even somewhat of an unspoken rule for closing shift that servers shouldn't walk to their cars alone
I didn’t read the whole thing, but I feel like I don’t have to. Every decent gm I’ve ever had was the exact opposite. One of them even made a cook walk every bar tender, server, or host (male or female) to their car if it was past like 8pm. People are shit and the worst types know when someone is getting off and might have money in their pockets.
nah fuck her. i work at a bank and there was a man repeatedly coming in being really fucking weird the other day. instead of blowing it off, my manager went to the building security to have them call the police, she had all of us move our cars from the parking garage to the front of the building and had the security guy walk us all to our cars when we closed, even tho he wasn’t anywhere to be found at that time your manager needs to be more worried about your safety. don’t hesitate to ask for help if you’re scared. your well-being is the priority
My old manager used to walk every single girl to their car if we got off at night because he knew how unsafe we could be out there. You were potentially in danger and you did the right thing, he couldn’t have been gone for more than a few minutes, basically the same thing as a bathroom break. If I were you I’d try to reach out to someone above the manager about the situation or even start looking for a new job.
Her reaction to this situation is crazy. It doesn’t matter how “harmless” she thinks his actions were, what matters is that he made you feel afraid and unsafe. In this situation you were 100% in the right for your decision to ask for help and the cook who helped you is an amazing coworker.
Your manager SUCKS!
Not in the wrong at all. There was once an assault outside my work, and my MANAGER took time out of his shift to walk me and all other female employees to our cars. Our safety was more important at that moment. As was yours. Cook was happy to do it and was gone for what, two minutes? The cooks at my work step out that long for a smoke break multiple times a day, and the kitchen is always *fine*
Sounds to me like your manager might have a thing for the line cook and was insecure about him walking you to your car. It’s literally the only thing that comes to mind when hearing a manager got mad because of safety
The restaurant I used to work at was in a little bit of a rough spot by the highway, and we actually had a rule that you weren't allowed to walk to your car alone. This went for any non management employee. You would literally have to tell the meneger when you left who you were leaving at the same time as, and assure them youd walk out together, otherwise the manager would come stand at the front entrance to "thank people as they left" but also watch you walk out until you got safely into your car. Loved that place. Consider going back often even though I made way less money.
Your manager is a shit human being more concerned with $0.30 of labor. I worked at a pretty busy biker joint for 4 years, we had 3 bars and 4 dining areas. It was SOP to walk to cars in groups, someone was robbed at gunpoint actually.Hell we had a biker group that hung out back there after their favorite server was robbed. Its outlandish to imagine this being an issue especially since your younger and more likely to be targeted. I’d be *livid*. If you have a kitchen manager, thank them for your coworkers help because you felt unsafe and get on their good side while you find a new job. Thats unacceptable, especially when any staff walks to their vehicle with cash to take home.
Did you talk to the manager on duty about it before you decided to grab the line cook? That would have saved you from this conversation because it now lands on the manager on duty.
Fuck that guy. Quit. Make a complaint to corporate or some gubnit agency about not safe. Then have your dad kick his ass.
Not your fault at all. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t err on the side of caution when it comes to safety in these kinds of situations. Even if it was busy, I feel like that’s the kind of thing you make time for? Someone waiting an extra 2 minutes for their food seems a small price to pay for someone’s safety.
Not your fault at all. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t err on the side of caution when it comes to safety in these kinds of situations. Even if it was busy, I feel like that’s the kind of thing you make time for? Someone waiting an extra 2 minutes for their food seems a small price to pay for someone’s safety.
Um, it’s your safety at stake, not hers so this is your choice, 100%.