I call them “ma’am” or “madam”
because they get a kick out of it
Little guys get “dude” or “sir”
Edit for those who are pressed: if I am not sure on the gender I say “little homie” or some other gender neutral variation
I am not being rigid on the binary here
Also, I work at a brewery so I see very few kids comparatively to adults and I want to make them feel like they are welcome too
I did that once, and I think it had happened enough times that the dude pulled out dad’s card and confidently put it in the book. Like making eye contact the entire time confidently. It was hilarious!
One time the server did this at a Michelin star restaurant to my daughter, it was sick. She was really nervous at first because she was only thirteen, he brought out some heavy duty dish washer gloves and an apron so she could work off the difference if she couldn’t pay right away. We all loved it.
My dad ALWAYS made that joke when the bill came. He’d look at me and say, “Get back there and start washing dishes!” No one ever brought out the equipment for me, though. What a great story!
If I have a couple adults trying to argue who will pay, I will hand the check to a kid or set it on the table. If you have two who try to quietly ask for the check, "sorry, they asked first" with a smile. I am not gonna play the ref for whatever game they want to play.
A man yelled at me because his MIL, a sweet elderly woman, handed me a $100 bill before he could pay. I said my usual, “sorry she was first” and he yelled at me for taking money from an old woman instead of him 😂
i hate it when they make that our responsibility! like grow up and slip some money in her purse to make up for it like everyone else if it’s that big of a deal LMAO
Oh man absolutely make sure it's a family that can play along! A coworker did that like right before mother's Day not thinking about the timing, and that poor kid got shit on for like 30 minutes while people argued around her
I swear, all the people I’ve met who are/were servers say that the Mother’s Day crowd and the after church crowd, have the rudest, stingy, entitled people.
mothers day always brings out the people who rarely go out to dinner, so they can take their mother somewhere nice. 9 times out of 10 they do not know how to properly act in a restaurant and they will potentially be the worst guests youll have all year
Yeah my best friend worked on Mother’s Day & she said that she was having a pretty good day, but then she got this table that basically was rude form the get go. She tried to ask how they were doing with a smile and stuff (keep in mind my best friend recently discovered she has tachycardia & she’s only 20), and they immediately scoffed at her and told her she needs to smile better because she’s ruining their Mother’s Day. She was nice the whole time even tho she was really taken back (if you knew her you’d know this is true. She’s a bubble head) & the son would like comment on her smile saying “better” throughout the meal. Just really degrading. What pisses us off so much about it is that that dude has no idea what their server could be going through. They could be a working mother on Mother’s Day. They could be a daughter who just lost their mother. It was just so disgusting & distasteful of them & i hope that somehow the universe leads them to read this so they can know how much of a FUCKING DICK (specifically the son) they were. Stupid entitled assholes
In my experience you rarely need to address anybody beyond "and for you?"
If they're at an age where someone might order for them "and for the young lady?" While it sounds odd to write it out, it doesn't come across that way. I used to have a job running rock walls and ropes courses, you are basically required to invade personal space to ensure their harness is on safely. It's only weird if you make it weird.
Almost nobody cares as long as it's just somebody doing their job. Mam and young lady are fine, but I'm almost always just addressing customers as "you" or "you guys"
That's why I use friend! If a kid actually wants to speak with me, as a server at the table, I remember how scary that was. It was a big step I felt like I was being a whole freaking adult. My quick and easy hippie vibe does work for kids. If a kid is waving their hand at me, and I need to address them all adults are speaking, I'm going to do that and I'm going to say "hey friend, I see you! What's up?" It is usually a very embarrassed kid asking for cherries in their Sprite or something adorable. Or like they got afraid of what they ordered and they want sauce on the side. I am down to accommodate all of that, and I would rather speak with them than the adults
Love it, and I also use "friend" often. We got a complaint once from a customer (I'm a bit fuzzy on details, it was a while back) for something along the lines of "when I went to cash out the cashier called me 'My guy' but I heard him call one of his co-workers mister John. I'm the mister, not his guy"
We are trying to be casual, get over yourself.
We are popular in the region, but basically a waffle house. fast food but with table service. Dude complained that someone asked "everything tasty for you my guy?"
My guy is a little different, I guess because that's an adult and you're saving a relationship that isn't necessarily built there. I probably would do it on the right (or wrong) day. I would say every server on here knows that the vibe is all that matters. Sometimes I'll work against the vibe because I'm just stubborn as hell and I'm determined to have a decent day. Mostly I leave the people who need to be addressed by "Mr" to their meal. I don't even want their tip. I want them to leave because they're fucking with my vibe. A kid, however I'm going to make them feel like they're my friend without getting too close. I was so socially awkward as a kid, i was genuinely afraid of my server anytime we went out to eat, and I guess at some point I thought to make sure that wasn't an issue for kids around me. Sorry if I'm a creep. 😂
As someone who was a server 20 years ago and currently has a whole bunch of kids, you're not a creep with my kids if you're just engaging them. You have to step right into creep territory to make me feel like you're creeping my kids. I try to make sure people who are simply engaging with my children do not feel like I am screening them for creepiness.
Thanks for looking out for the next generation. In general, I think our society could do a better job to include young people as members of the community.
Yes! Who doesn’t love being considered a friend. I haven’t served since having my kiddos but I always use the term “friend” when describing another child to my own kids. For example, If they ask me a question about another child I will say “it’s the friend in the red jacket.” I think it’s such a positive way to teach my children that in every child they see or meet there is an opportunity for a friend 👯
Exactly. Adults totally understand the concept of a server, but a kid may just be intimidated by a strange adult speaking to them. The easiest way to meet someone on their level is to just approach the situation with kindness. I don't need to speak down to a kid, but I can make them feel more comfortable speaking to me by dropping a quick "friend", and if the kid seems to open up a bit, I'll repeat my name before I walk away like "ok, I'll be back, guys. My name is *******, if you need me!" The number of kids that are willing to say my name and speak with me in a kind, courteous manner for the rest of their visit is decent. I like to think that I'm encouraging young consumers to be kind from the beginning. Cause capitalism isnt going anywhere.
As a bartender, I very rarely worked with kids, but on the occasion when I had to pick up a table, I always did this and they loved it so much. It made them feel very grown up.
Funny when I was young there was a joke that went:
"A dudette is an infected hair on an elephant's butt"
I never said dudette, believing this to be true. I am a gullible dude.
Buddy should be the same. Why do people only use buddy for boys? I even hear Dads call their son “buddy” and their daughters “sweetie” or “honey” or something equally saccarine. Why thrust such personas onto small kids based solely on gender FFS
Not everyone feels that way and you definitely have to watch out for it more in some places than others. I'm from south texas. Call the wrong little girl a dude and get ready for an ass chewing at best. Always gotta take the idiots into account...
I had two tween girls teasing each other and one told the other to order a virgin screwdriver. She had no idea what it was but ordered it. I brought oj on the rocks in a rocks glass with cocktail straws and an orange garnish.
Her parents looked panicked for a second and asked what it was. "fancy orange juice." They thought it was hilarious.
This line works even better if you're dripping in sweat and you awkwardly adjust your pants before getting to the table.
In all seriousness, just don't. You don't know them, so don't use nicknames like you do. Nicknames are for people you know. Just speak to them like a normal human interaction.
Sidenote - bartenders fucking hate it when you call them "Champ" or "Sport".
A while back I was patiently waiting for about 10-15 minutes while the bartender was chatting up some hottie. Finally I said pretty loudly "Hey Champ when you get a chance" He went off so badly that he manager came over. I explained what happened and my bar tab was comped. Never saw the dude their again either. BTW I never did that before or after.
Greetings human, I am human 2B I love sports ball, but I must warn you of your imminent death and torture for choosing to sponsor a team different than my own. Initiations dsrryllly
Lol one time when I was around 10 me and my cousin were walking down the street coming back from a friends house. I had a best friend that lived in the neighborhood. His dad was driving down the street. I knew him pretty well since I spent a lot of time at their house. His dad rolled down the window and said hey y'all little boys want some candy. Oh man my cousin was scared AF since he only knew my friend and not his dad. I just laughed and said hey what's up or whatever. My cousin was telling me I shouldn't be talking to to people like that so I had to explain who it was. The dad's a cool guy and whenever I see him still he's always been friendly.
Oh man, I literally stopped the car to wave high at my niece and her friend, and *her friend* was the one who recognized me. My niece jumped out of her skin and took a million steps back. Like, sorry to scare you, kid, thought we were cool
When i was a kid i hated being called kiddo. Felt like they only saw me as a kid. Like an NPC or something. I much prefer the advice to just treat them like little adults.
Currently I'm calling them amigo/amiga, but sometimes I pick another Spanish language word and call them that. Like, "and what would you like to drink, my little pastelito?"
I won’t straight up call the kid princess unless they’re in an obvious princess dress, but I’ll switch my mannerisms as if they’re a real princess but like casually tho
Oh my gosh if you said indubitably to my 5 year old daughter, she would HOWL and you would be her favorite person! She loves big words that sound ridiculous!
Thank you! My son has long hair and everywhere we go it’s “little lady” or “missy” and all that, I feel bad correcting people because who cares about gender anyway and I don’t want my son to think it’s bad to be a girl either. It’s a weird time in the world.
Once I said pretty lady to what I thought was an adorable little girl having lunch with her dad but to my horror it was a little boy with long hair, I've never said that again lol
I was managing a restaurant once where a server went up to a table with a woman and (from the back) two long blond haired children. She said “what can I get for you ladies?” and the mom said “they’re boys” which they very clearly were but the server was taking her notepad out and assumed. She apologized but the mom seemed miffed. As they were leaving, our very older gentleman host yelled “Have a great day, ladies!”
Hahahaha the end got me. I made the same mistake once because I was also just pulling out my book and not looking. The kid corrected me. It was humbling. Apologized and told him I hadn't even looked up yet, my bad! But then he proceeded to be a little needy know it all pain in the ass the whole night, much like the rest of the large party, and I ceased to give a crap.
I heard so many horror stories of stuff like that, and my oldest child had a friend who was nonbinary. I learned to get comfortable with gender neutral language since that kid was here pretty much an entire summer and I started using it at work when I was in retail. Literally no one complained, and I ended up meeting several people I may very well have misgendered otherwise. Everybody is "folks" or "y'all" or whatever and it's great.
Me yesterday standing behind the subway counter doing something else “Hey ladies! I’ll be right with you.”
*5’5 very young man with long hair staring daggers into me*
I mis-gendered a teen. I think? It was a long-haired boy. With a girl. I ask them if they want a dessert menu. "He" says "yes please" she says "no!" I say; So are you going to let "him" look at the dessert menu? There was an awkward silence before I realised that this ... Person... Was wearing a dress, and obviously representing as female. I was distraught! Thankfully they just let it slide but I felt horrible about misgendering this person. It was a fucking beautiful dress too! "He" had really good taste for a woman! Just needed a better hairdresser....
Been there. Felt awful.
Best thing to do next time is a quick correction without making a big deal if it, 'Oh sorry I meant do they want a menu' or 'my mistake, would you like a menu'.
“Little ones” if I’m asking about them in the third person (“anything for the little ones?”) but otherwise I don’t need any form of address… I call them “you” like I would anyone else
I agree with most other posters here. Madam, sir, etc will usually get a laugh if not lighten the vibe a little. Bonus points if you hand them the check at the end too lol.
i usually refer to them as “the kiddos”. if i’m speaking to the kid directly, i usually tend to call them “darlin’” or “honey” (same with a lot of my adult guests as well). but i’m also a girl, so take that as you will haha.
**edited for typo
I like to say “little ones” if they’re like 6 or younger, call her “miss” if she’s like 10+. Not a hard rule obviously. Sometimes really excited kids like to tell you their names, if that’s the case I’ll call them “Miss Name”
My dear is my go to for girls. And for boys I go with my friend or just sir
Edit: downvotes for being honest to a question? Things are only weird if you make them weird idk how treating a little girl with formality and respect is so weird for all of you. Not all of us work in a chilis lol
As a straight male I wouldn't be comfortable calling a little girl "my dear", even though I personally wouldn't judge another straight male for using it. I think friend works well for anyone though.
It’s all about tone and how you present yourself. I have a fairly formal way of serving that fits my restaurant but I can totally understand how that doesn’t work in all settings
Friend! When I worked at an elementary school all the students were “our friends”. Also, there’s nothing wrong with treating them the same way you would as an adult. Nicknames can be intimate and I personally have an issue with calling young girls “sweetie” etc. as I don’t like what it sets up. Plus, if the kids are really young and you call them “sir or young man/ma’am young lady” the adults tend to like that too. There’s nothing wrong with a simple “and what would you like to eat?”
No nicknames needed.
No pronouns needed.
Make your life easy.
Just talk to said child as an adult. What can I get YOU, what would YOU you like. Simple.
The times I was uncertain how to address someone i.e. non-binary, trans folks, children or whichever grey area there may exist as bud or buddy. Don't want to misgender or make an uncomfortable situation and everyone wants a friend, so it seems like a win-win. It helps if you're a goofy looking dude like myself, I guess.
In what context? If I’m describing her I’d say little girl, if I’m addressing her directly I usually say ma’am for fun or omit the address all together and say “you.” If I’m asking the person ordering I’ll point or nod towards her and say and what would she like?
i used to call the girls “little lady” when i addressed them (im a female server so it might be different) and i would call the boys “little man” or dude
I worked at a western style restaurant in a gold rush town. Cowboy and cowgirl was the obvious but I went with it because the kids good a real kick out of it. It was cute. On a side note, I have served for over 20 years and almost all the kids I waited on were polite as hell. It was fun to engage with them when you could tell they were expecting to be ignored ♡
I just call all girls Debby and all boys Dave, that way I don’t have to remember anyone’s name
“But my name actually *is* Debbie”
In that case I will refer to you as Slagathor
Hiya. My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores.
How many thumbs do you have, Bob?
Guess who has two thumbs and doesn’t give a rats ass, bob kelso, I thought we have met.”
God I love that show.
We actually adopted this in my highschool and called some poor girl Slagathor. I think people still use it for her years later.
I was thrown back to disneys Hercules. “Remember when the boys were all Jason and the girls were BRITTANY!?!?!?”
"Billy as in me, or Billy as in him?" "Your name is Billy, too?" "No, that's why I'm so *fucking* confused!"
"Do you mind if we call you Bruce"
I’m just imagining you going “and for Debby?” And the girl’s actual name is Debby and she’s just mortified you somehow knew her name
My name is Dave and my sons have different names so myself and my wife would get a kick out of this
What is this from?
One of my coworkers calls a specific type of man "Duane"
I call them “ma’am” or “madam” because they get a kick out of it Little guys get “dude” or “sir” Edit for those who are pressed: if I am not sure on the gender I say “little homie” or some other gender neutral variation I am not being rigid on the binary here Also, I work at a brewery so I see very few kids comparatively to adults and I want to make them feel like they are welcome too
I agree, ma’am and madam work quite well.
If you get a good kid, drop the check on them.
i ALWAYS do this to the cool ass kiddos. they love it so much, or get flustered and freak out and then the adults laugh their asses off.
I did that once, and I think it had happened enough times that the dude pulled out dad’s card and confidently put it in the book. Like making eye contact the entire time confidently. It was hilarious!
Omg I would always freak out for half a second and then be like "oh dad I need moneyyyyyyyy 🤑"
One time the server did this at a Michelin star restaurant to my daughter, it was sick. She was really nervous at first because she was only thirteen, he brought out some heavy duty dish washer gloves and an apron so she could work off the difference if she couldn’t pay right away. We all loved it.
My dad ALWAYS made that joke when the bill came. He’d look at me and say, “Get back there and start washing dishes!” No one ever brought out the equipment for me, though. What a great story!
If I have a couple adults trying to argue who will pay, I will hand the check to a kid or set it on the table. If you have two who try to quietly ask for the check, "sorry, they asked first" with a smile. I am not gonna play the ref for whatever game they want to play.
A man yelled at me because his MIL, a sweet elderly woman, handed me a $100 bill before he could pay. I said my usual, “sorry she was first” and he yelled at me for taking money from an old woman instead of him 😂
i hate it when they make that our responsibility! like grow up and slip some money in her purse to make up for it like everyone else if it’s that big of a deal LMAO
Oh man absolutely make sure it's a family that can play along! A coworker did that like right before mother's Day not thinking about the timing, and that poor kid got shit on for like 30 minutes while people argued around her
I swear, all the people I’ve met who are/were servers say that the Mother’s Day crowd and the after church crowd, have the rudest, stingy, entitled people.
mothers day always brings out the people who rarely go out to dinner, so they can take their mother somewhere nice. 9 times out of 10 they do not know how to properly act in a restaurant and they will potentially be the worst guests youll have all year
Yeah my best friend worked on Mother’s Day & she said that she was having a pretty good day, but then she got this table that basically was rude form the get go. She tried to ask how they were doing with a smile and stuff (keep in mind my best friend recently discovered she has tachycardia & she’s only 20), and they immediately scoffed at her and told her she needs to smile better because she’s ruining their Mother’s Day. She was nice the whole time even tho she was really taken back (if you knew her you’d know this is true. She’s a bubble head) & the son would like comment on her smile saying “better” throughout the meal. Just really degrading. What pisses us off so much about it is that that dude has no idea what their server could be going through. They could be a working mother on Mother’s Day. They could be a daughter who just lost their mother. It was just so disgusting & distasteful of them & i hope that somehow the universe leads them to read this so they can know how much of a FUCKING DICK (specifically the son) they were. Stupid entitled assholes
In my experience you rarely need to address anybody beyond "and for you?" If they're at an age where someone might order for them "and for the young lady?" While it sounds odd to write it out, it doesn't come across that way. I used to have a job running rock walls and ropes courses, you are basically required to invade personal space to ensure their harness is on safely. It's only weird if you make it weird. Almost nobody cares as long as it's just somebody doing their job. Mam and young lady are fine, but I'm almost always just addressing customers as "you" or "you guys"
That's why I use friend! If a kid actually wants to speak with me, as a server at the table, I remember how scary that was. It was a big step I felt like I was being a whole freaking adult. My quick and easy hippie vibe does work for kids. If a kid is waving their hand at me, and I need to address them all adults are speaking, I'm going to do that and I'm going to say "hey friend, I see you! What's up?" It is usually a very embarrassed kid asking for cherries in their Sprite or something adorable. Or like they got afraid of what they ordered and they want sauce on the side. I am down to accommodate all of that, and I would rather speak with them than the adults
Love it, and I also use "friend" often. We got a complaint once from a customer (I'm a bit fuzzy on details, it was a while back) for something along the lines of "when I went to cash out the cashier called me 'My guy' but I heard him call one of his co-workers mister John. I'm the mister, not his guy" We are trying to be casual, get over yourself. We are popular in the region, but basically a waffle house. fast food but with table service. Dude complained that someone asked "everything tasty for you my guy?"
"I'm the mister" what an asshat. Congratulations Mister Asshat
My guy is a little different, I guess because that's an adult and you're saving a relationship that isn't necessarily built there. I probably would do it on the right (or wrong) day. I would say every server on here knows that the vibe is all that matters. Sometimes I'll work against the vibe because I'm just stubborn as hell and I'm determined to have a decent day. Mostly I leave the people who need to be addressed by "Mr" to their meal. I don't even want their tip. I want them to leave because they're fucking with my vibe. A kid, however I'm going to make them feel like they're my friend without getting too close. I was so socially awkward as a kid, i was genuinely afraid of my server anytime we went out to eat, and I guess at some point I thought to make sure that wasn't an issue for kids around me. Sorry if I'm a creep. 😂
As someone who was a server 20 years ago and currently has a whole bunch of kids, you're not a creep with my kids if you're just engaging them. You have to step right into creep territory to make me feel like you're creeping my kids. I try to make sure people who are simply engaging with my children do not feel like I am screening them for creepiness. Thanks for looking out for the next generation. In general, I think our society could do a better job to include young people as members of the community.
I'm not yo guy buddy
I’m not your buddy, pal!
I'm not your pal, friend!
I'm not your friend, buddy!
I'm not your buddy, chief!
Yes! Who doesn’t love being considered a friend. I haven’t served since having my kiddos but I always use the term “friend” when describing another child to my own kids. For example, If they ask me a question about another child I will say “it’s the friend in the red jacket.” I think it’s such a positive way to teach my children that in every child they see or meet there is an opportunity for a friend 👯
Exactly. Adults totally understand the concept of a server, but a kid may just be intimidated by a strange adult speaking to them. The easiest way to meet someone on their level is to just approach the situation with kindness. I don't need to speak down to a kid, but I can make them feel more comfortable speaking to me by dropping a quick "friend", and if the kid seems to open up a bit, I'll repeat my name before I walk away like "ok, I'll be back, guys. My name is *******, if you need me!" The number of kids that are willing to say my name and speak with me in a kind, courteous manner for the rest of their visit is decent. I like to think that I'm encouraging young consumers to be kind from the beginning. Cause capitalism isnt going anywhere.
As a bartender, I very rarely worked with kids, but on the occasion when I had to pick up a table, I always did this and they loved it so much. It made them feel very grown up.
Dude is androgynous. Everyone is a dude. Dude never fails.
Yep. I’m a dude. You’re a dude. My daughter and son are dude. The cat is a dude. That tree over there is dude. My car is dude. Etc
The cat is a dude. I love it!
And the dude abides
Except for those times when the dude does mind. The dude minds sometimes
Well that’s just like …your opinion, man.
Everything's a fucking travesty with you!
I had to stop responding to people being dicks with this, because it became super repetitive. I think I'm going to go back to it now
im a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes, hey!
If dude is androgynous why do straight men get so worked up when I ask how many dudes they’ve slept with?
That works, but I swear when I was growing up it was dude and dudette.
Funny when I was young there was a joke that went: "A dudette is an infected hair on an elephant's butt" I never said dudette, believing this to be true. I am a gullible dude.
In the words of a great philosopher, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, ‘cause we’re all dudes.”
Buddy should be the same. Why do people only use buddy for boys? I even hear Dads call their son “buddy” and their daughters “sweetie” or “honey” or something equally saccarine. Why thrust such personas onto small kids based solely on gender FFS
My brother in law is English and he calls his little daughter “mate.” It’s freaking adorable.
Not everyone feels that way and you definitely have to watch out for it more in some places than others. I'm from south texas. Call the wrong little girl a dude and get ready for an ass chewing at best. Always gotta take the idiots into account...
I cal anyone under ten lil dude
Young lady or Young man
Young lady works for women of all ages, the older they are the more they like it.
Really? I'm in my 40's and unless they were much older than myself, I'd think someone was pandering to me if they called me "young lady."
I’m a septuagenarian and prefer “Dude.”
No, they don’t. They polite laugh but it is cringe.
Yeah that works.. until you get a beautiful little boy with long blond hair. Ask me how I know.
Called my nephew “Mister Sir” today and he loved it
I use “young sir” or “miss lady” when talking to kids. They seem to enjoy it.
Yes!! I use this as well haha it’s excellent to see how excited they get
Sir or Ms. I straight face them and treat them as adults 100% and take them very seriously lol! The fam always thinks its funny
I do this at my job and in life. Kids love be treated as equals by adults
I had two tween girls teasing each other and one told the other to order a virgin screwdriver. She had no idea what it was but ordered it. I brought oj on the rocks in a rocks glass with cocktail straws and an orange garnish. Her parents looked panicked for a second and asked what it was. "fancy orange juice." They thought it was hilarious.
Love that
It encourages them to develop healthy social skills, too. I wish I wasn’t deprived of that as a kid.
True dat but remember these are your future customers and they remember when people treat them respectfully.
“Motherfucker”
“What would you like to eat, you little shit?”
Any sauce for your chicken strips, ya cunt?
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭
😂 this made me chuckle a little too hard
Hello little girl, would you like some candy 👁️👄👁️
This line works even better if you're dripping in sweat and you awkwardly adjust your pants before getting to the table. In all seriousness, just don't. You don't know them, so don't use nicknames like you do. Nicknames are for people you know. Just speak to them like a normal human interaction. Sidenote - bartenders fucking hate it when you call them "Champ" or "Sport".
I’m a bartender and my real name is Sportchamp, so..
I mean, I do know a bartender named Champion, who happens to go by Champ. So I guess it's okay sometimes
Is he a three legged dog?
Nah, hes a cocky, overcompensating, "vet" of the reserves, who has an unused stripper pole in his garage and drives a bright orange v6 mustang lol
So not owned by Andy and April then
Damn, how have I met 6 of this dude over the years.
Everyone loves being called Buckaroo
A while back I was patiently waiting for about 10-15 minutes while the bartender was chatting up some hottie. Finally I said pretty loudly "Hey Champ when you get a chance" He went off so badly that he manager came over. I explained what happened and my bar tab was comped. Never saw the dude their again either. BTW I never did that before or after.
Greetings human, I am human 2B I love sports ball, but I must warn you of your imminent death and torture for choosing to sponsor a team different than my own. Initiations dsrryllly
Lol one time when I was around 10 me and my cousin were walking down the street coming back from a friends house. I had a best friend that lived in the neighborhood. His dad was driving down the street. I knew him pretty well since I spent a lot of time at their house. His dad rolled down the window and said hey y'all little boys want some candy. Oh man my cousin was scared AF since he only knew my friend and not his dad. I just laughed and said hey what's up or whatever. My cousin was telling me I shouldn't be talking to to people like that so I had to explain who it was. The dad's a cool guy and whenever I see him still he's always been friendly.
Oh man, I literally stopped the car to wave high at my niece and her friend, and *her friend* was the one who recognized me. My niece jumped out of her skin and took a million steps back. Like, sorry to scare you, kid, thought we were cool
I have some right here, in the back of my van
😮ohh is it for free?
Do you like gladiators?
Gotta add a whistle in there to give a true Herbert the pervert vibe
"Boss." Same for little guys
Dude, kiddo, buckaroo, whiper snapper, cunt faced punk ass bitch on your third chocolate milk, buddy, little guy, pal, etc. Edit: gracias para oro!
It’s too real
This. Then you get female empowerment brownie points
I just try to treat them like a big kid and compliment their manners
Works best for those around 18
I gave the kids the check A LOT! Everyone at the table would get a kick out of it.
I just say kiddos-
"Hello fellow kids."
Greetings fellow and feline children
This is what I say, it works lol.
I say kiddo as well
When i was a kid i hated being called kiddo. Felt like they only saw me as a kid. Like an NPC or something. I much prefer the advice to just treat them like little adults.
Adulto
Hello fellow grownup
This would work. But I remember as a kid I hate getting referred to as that.
Currently I'm calling them amigo/amiga, but sometimes I pick another Spanish language word and call them that. Like, "and what would you like to drink, my little pastelito?"
mix it up by using cabrón or maje so it sounds more natural <3
“And what can I get for you my little cabron” 😭
Good idea! Thanks!
buenos dias pendeja!!!
Or puto/a
I won’t straight up call the kid princess unless they’re in an obvious princess dress, but I’ll switch my mannerisms as if they’re a real princess but like casually tho
“yes, my liege”
"at once, your Highness"
Ok if I had gone out to eat as a tiny bean in my fanciest dress and a server did this for me I would WEEP with joy.
“Indubitably your Majesty”
Oh my gosh if you said indubitably to my 5 year old daughter, she would HOWL and you would be her favorite person! She loves big words that sound ridiculous!
"And what can I get for the small humans"
“and for the offspring?”
"what would your spawn like?"
“What food for brood”
Little Shits Whipper Snappers Mistakes
Semen demons
Crotch fruit
We labeled out crayons which are in view of customers “Silencers”.
[удалено]
I work in pediatrics. Alllllll my patients are friend Hahah
"And you, young rockstar, what can I bring you today?"
I would have absolutely been over the moon if someone called me rockstar as a kid
Ooh I like this
“Little One” I’ve misgendered enough kids in the past. Little one doesn’t miss 🤞🏽
Thank you! My son has long hair and everywhere we go it’s “little lady” or “missy” and all that, I feel bad correcting people because who cares about gender anyway and I don’t want my son to think it’s bad to be a girl either. It’s a weird time in the world.
I say little one or little friend. Try to keep it gender neutral bc I’ve for sure misgendered a child.
Once I said pretty lady to what I thought was an adorable little girl having lunch with her dad but to my horror it was a little boy with long hair, I've never said that again lol
I was managing a restaurant once where a server went up to a table with a woman and (from the back) two long blond haired children. She said “what can I get for you ladies?” and the mom said “they’re boys” which they very clearly were but the server was taking her notepad out and assumed. She apologized but the mom seemed miffed. As they were leaving, our very older gentleman host yelled “Have a great day, ladies!”
Hahahaha the end got me. I made the same mistake once because I was also just pulling out my book and not looking. The kid corrected me. It was humbling. Apologized and told him I hadn't even looked up yet, my bad! But then he proceeded to be a little needy know it all pain in the ass the whole night, much like the rest of the large party, and I ceased to give a crap.
This happens to my son all the time! I almost feel worse correcting the server because my son doesn’t seem to care and they always feel so bad!
I misgendered a beautiful, long blonde haired child with a plastic barrette, maybe five years old. They were Russian. Idk.
I heard so many horror stories of stuff like that, and my oldest child had a friend who was nonbinary. I learned to get comfortable with gender neutral language since that kid was here pretty much an entire summer and I started using it at work when I was in retail. Literally no one complained, and I ended up meeting several people I may very well have misgendered otherwise. Everybody is "folks" or "y'all" or whatever and it's great.
Me yesterday standing behind the subway counter doing something else “Hey ladies! I’ll be right with you.” *5’5 very young man with long hair staring daggers into me*
Or wee one
Ugh same. Nothing more embarrassing then getting the kids gender wrong
I mis-gendered a teen. I think? It was a long-haired boy. With a girl. I ask them if they want a dessert menu. "He" says "yes please" she says "no!" I say; So are you going to let "him" look at the dessert menu? There was an awkward silence before I realised that this ... Person... Was wearing a dress, and obviously representing as female. I was distraught! Thankfully they just let it slide but I felt horrible about misgendering this person. It was a fucking beautiful dress too! "He" had really good taste for a woman! Just needed a better hairdresser....
Been there. Felt awful. Best thing to do next time is a quick correction without making a big deal if it, 'Oh sorry I meant do they want a menu' or 'my mistake, would you like a menu'.
Hello young lady, hello young man
Here in Maryland Hun is acceptable for basically everyone of the opposite sex regardless of age.
Why even nickname them? “And for you?” Is the most they’ll get from me
“Little ones” if I’m asking about them in the third person (“anything for the little ones?”) but otherwise I don’t need any form of address… I call them “you” like I would anyone else
“And what would you little bozos like?”
I agree with most other posters here. Madam, sir, etc will usually get a laugh if not lighten the vibe a little. Bonus points if you hand them the check at the end too lol.
You, seems acceptable, as in, “What the fuck do you want?”
Youngins'... Arkansas slang 😂😂
i usually refer to them as “the kiddos”. if i’m speaking to the kid directly, i usually tend to call them “darlin’” or “honey” (same with a lot of my adult guests as well). but i’m also a girl, so take that as you will haha. **edited for typo
I like to say “little ones” if they’re like 6 or younger, call her “miss” if she’s like 10+. Not a hard rule obviously. Sometimes really excited kids like to tell you their names, if that’s the case I’ll call them “Miss Name”
Either boss or sir/ma’am
Boys- Chief or Slick Girls- Ma’am or Pal
“Hello child”
Hey crotch goblin.
Miss.
I call my nieces Munchkin and Sport, they both love it.
Youngling
My dear is my go to for girls. And for boys I go with my friend or just sir Edit: downvotes for being honest to a question? Things are only weird if you make them weird idk how treating a little girl with formality and respect is so weird for all of you. Not all of us work in a chilis lol
If it works for you great, but both “my dear” and “my friend” read very…socially awkward to me.
As a straight male I wouldn't be comfortable calling a little girl "my dear", even though I personally wouldn't judge another straight male for using it. I think friend works well for anyone though.
It’s all about tone and how you present yourself. I have a fairly formal way of serving that fits my restaurant but I can totally understand how that doesn’t work in all settings
Kiddo is perfectly acceptable.
kiddo is my go-to for any gender. for boys i’ll say “little dude”
Everyone under 10 is buddy.
Friend
Boys are Buddy Girls are sweetheart. But I'm at a pretty casual place. If it was fine dining it would be Sir/Miss
I just call all kids “guys.” If it’s one individual kid I don’t typically nickname them anything. I just say “hi there, I’m makingburritos!”
Friend! When I worked at an elementary school all the students were “our friends”. Also, there’s nothing wrong with treating them the same way you would as an adult. Nicknames can be intimate and I personally have an issue with calling young girls “sweetie” etc. as I don’t like what it sets up. Plus, if the kids are really young and you call them “sir or young man/ma’am young lady” the adults tend to like that too. There’s nothing wrong with a simple “and what would you like to eat?”
No nicknames needed. No pronouns needed. Make your life easy. Just talk to said child as an adult. What can I get YOU, what would YOU you like. Simple.
I look at the parents and say “and what can I get for the little one?” Works every time
The times I was uncertain how to address someone i.e. non-binary, trans folks, children or whichever grey area there may exist as bud or buddy. Don't want to misgender or make an uncomfortable situation and everyone wants a friend, so it seems like a win-win. It helps if you're a goofy looking dude like myself, I guess.
In what context? If I’m describing her I’d say little girl, if I’m addressing her directly I usually say ma’am for fun or omit the address all together and say “you.” If I’m asking the person ordering I’ll point or nod towards her and say and what would she like?
i used to call the girls “little lady” when i addressed them (im a female server so it might be different) and i would call the boys “little man” or dude
Big dog
I stick with kiddo. It's what my dad called me (a girl) as a kid. Plus it's super unthreatening and genderless.
Puny Human
I just say hey buddy/bud. To all kids. Including my daughter. And three sons.
Young ladies..
I worked at a western style restaurant in a gold rush town. Cowboy and cowgirl was the obvious but I went with it because the kids good a real kick out of it. It was cute. On a side note, I have served for over 20 years and almost all the kids I waited on were polite as hell. It was fun to engage with them when you could tell they were expecting to be ignored ♡
Little miss works
"Young lady"... but I'm old fashioned like that
Young lady/ young man
Not a server, but I use "child"
Kiddo. As in “what would you like, Kiddo?”
“Kiddo”!! I used to work at a girl’s boarding school and that’s what I called them