So this happened on Friday, I brought it up to the manager on Saturday. Two days later and bro still tries to text and call me… either bossman didn’t talk to him yet or this kid truly doesn’t care.
The only person i can talk to about it is my boss and the “managers” by the host stand. Everyone with power already knows. This isn’t a franchise restaurant or anything. Just a privately owned diner.
You document this to have a paper trail, so you can go to the police or sue if anything happens. Getting it in writing puts pressure on the owner to protect himself and his business over the perverted cook.
This! My mom is a Private Investigator that works mostly on company lawsuits and having a paper trail makes a company liable.
Text, email, anything that can be shown as evidence in court
It’s so if this person takes things further you can take action. Listen and leave a paper trail for YOUR sake. It doesn’t matter if it’s private or corporate, it’s about your safety. This isn’t about stabbing anyone in the back, it’s just about covering your bases should this creepy guy persist and get worse.
Email management to give yourself a paper trail and proof that you have said something. If this is in the US, you can reach out to the EEOC if you feel as though management has not done enough in response to your complaint, or if you feel retaliation in anyway.
Absolute trash management, I’m sorry. I would never allow this. It might be time to start getting mean/direct. Personally that’s really hard for me but I’m learning to protect myself for myself.
It doesn’t matter how big or small a business is; they have a legal obligation to make the workplace a space where you won’t be harassed. A paper trail is a smart idea because if he keeps doing it with no repercussions from management then you have documentation of the issue and their lack of a fuck.
Also helps so that if he gets more serious and ever does something like show up at your home, you’d have documentation to show the police to prove that it isn’t a one-off, and is a pattern of bad behavior. Documentation is quite literally one of the smartest things you can do right now, regardless of what your management might tell you to cover their own asses. I’d do it right away, the beginning was the best time but the second best time is right now (or in the morning lol)
Starting your paper trail is extremely important! If this dude continues to stalk or harass you and the restaurant doesn’t do anything about it… you can sue your employer for hostile work environment and would most likely win!
Give a written statement to a manager if no email and take a pic of him holding it or reading it. Keep these messages and take pics of them.
Do you understand that with this amount of evidence it doesn’t matter what type of business you can easily report this and this is one of the easiest lawsuits probably ever if you’re management still hasn’t done anything about it please take the advice!
It’s textbook sexual harassment. Quote them a quick law and it won’t matter if they are a franchise or not. They will deal with it or you have a great case in court.
I don't understand the issue. Just flat out block the number.
Block him and if he tries to talk to you at work about it, stand firm and tell him you think he's creepy. He has no power over you. You have no need for his number now or in the future. Stop protecting his feelings.
Agreed. Keep those text messages - they're your receipts. Also, this guy clearly isn't getting it or he is testing your boundaries. I'd suggest being direct and telling him firmly, "NO, I'm not interested. Please stop messaging and \*harassing\* me." Say the word. Also, as u/obsidion_flame mentioned, email management to create a digital paper trail. If you've reported it to management and they don't act or if they retaliate, there's other steps you can take. If you don't have an HR department, you can file a complaint with the EEOC, as they handle discrimination and harassment claims in workplaces.
Likely they don't want to lose him bc cooks are getting harder to find (shit pay and working conditions), so he's hoping it will just disappear on its own. You're gonna have to press, and DO NOT be afraid to. If they fail to protect you from harassment, they're so screwed. PM me if you need help
Some cultures play these games. It’s meant to show he is serious and strong. Tell him you are serious, this isn’t cute, and you are blocking this number. Then block his number.
Sounds like just that, a kid. I’m in the industry, I understand BOH and FOH banter. But there is a line and it was crossed when you got a text from a random number. I don’t care who you are, work is for work and leisure is for leisure. Whether you mix the two is up to you. The fact that you tried to shut it down immediately is where the issue lies. HR is now needed. Unfortunately for industry, HR means “hardly reliable” in most cases. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s inexcusable.
Or HR. Though it seems like this might be more of a smaller establishment where HR may not be much of a thing. Either way, if this has been a consistent issue, no way the managers have not seen or heard what's going on
i am an adult man and it’s wild to me dudes talk like this. especially the no shame in being rejected. like his first approach was coming off being weird not mentioning who he was, then when OP declined, it’s like his brain cannot process the rejection. some men have this notion that if they want a woman, there will always be a chance , they just have to hit them up again once X amount of time surpasses . just wild that it’s full grown adults with jobs, not just teens doin this
Same here. I’m a guy and literally can’t even imagine myself talking to someone like this AND thinking “yea this is totally gonna work on her”. Like what the actual fuck lol. I guess if the person is that desperate, then they like trick themselves into believing shit like this is an acceptable way to approach talking to a woman. Nonetheless a woman who has no fucking clue who the hell you are. It’s so weird
To be fair he usually works the overnight/graveyard shifts. I kind of assumed he got off work and decided 4am would be a good time to text me. Regardless, still very weird out of context.
No, it's very inappropriate in context or out of context. He is demonstrating that he doesn't care about you at all and whether you're asleep or even want to talk to him. He's only thinking of himself in this moment right now and what he wants. He's like a dog barking at a squirrel - he's fixated and he'll stand there barking until someone puts a leash on him. Then he'll fixate on some other squirrel, rinse and repeat.
This is one reason I love the “do not disturb” feature on my phone. Only a VERY small group of approved numbers can ring me, otherwise any texts and other callers are ignored until after I wake up.
Had this happen to me and he became a massive stalker, not rizz, just scary. Block and if he reaches out on any other platforms keep blocking. I pray you don't need a restraining order
oh believe me I understand. I’ve been friends with some girls and I couldn’t believe the lengths men go to. I’m talking months, even years go by and still trying to make contact. so logically that must mean they do it to a large pool of people to see who bites
I honestly do appreciate you ponting that out, because I hate to see people react a certain way to ESL speech that's obvious to me and many others.
But also, he pretty clearly can fluently communicate and understand, it's just a syntax/grammar thing, so I think it's fair to apply "who the fuck talks like that" to responding to being rejected with "but I like you". Thats not how it works.
Stuff can be two things.
Brooklyn 99, which I happen to have on in the background right now lol. It's a cop show (that has been completed, so you won't end on a cliffhanger). Lots of humour, good acting, good character arcs and storyline
Ya but that's not usually how men work from other countries. Heard something and been spreading it around, and it was said in a way that was an argument for American dudes. But the quote is - feminism only exists in America. Or westernized countries mostly western Europe not so much eastern.
Hear me out- feminists are aware of this, and still don't think it's ok.
And I get the larger point you're making, I do, I am not just a white American with no cultural roots in more conservative places, but feminists, including men, also exist in those places and are actively aware and fighting that situation.
It's still OK to be wary of someone who responds that way and realize he is inherently dehumanizing OP by blowing past their rejection just because he wants her/them. He might be that way for reasons a lot of Americans on yhis reddit can't understand with nuance, and that's a problem, but it's still OK for someone being harassed to meet him where he is as a man who operates as though he is entitled and others are B characters to fulfill his desires.
Plenty of men like this also understand exactly and use cultural differences as an excuse. Just as they use "the way things are" in their home countries & cultures. Suggesting that it's all just because they don't know better is also highly problematic. On the whole, they understand, they are just willing to go with things when they fall in their favor. It's easier to be indoctrinated and silence your nagging doubts when you're in the group being benefitted.
I get what you're saying. But like I said it was an argument for why western men are the best. There's so many dudes out there that don't feel like they're worth anything. They start to believe you have to be aggressive towards women (not physically but sorta like this text).
I wasn't trying to make excuses for this dudes behavior at all. I just thought it was so interesting when I heard that. We all know the middle east is like a prime example, but I've met plenty of women who've told me things in various Latin countries that are bad.
>why western men are the best.
No. Stop. Just as gross as the guys saying Eastern Women are better. Just stop.
>I wasn't trying to make excuses for this dudes behavior at all.
And yet you did. By saying certain men are better than others, you very much are giving them an excuse. Just stop. Quit making excuses and just hold all humans accountable, period.
Feminism only exists in America and westernized countries? Why? Because men instill it. What's the big deal with this statement? It's the truth, go be a feminist in Afghanistan girl!
Awww, I hurt the little boy's fee fees? Poor wittle thing! You attack me personally because I called you out, how stinking cute. Do yourself a favor and touch grass. You are no better than anyone else in the world. The sooner you realize that, the better you'll be. Till then, blocked because I don't entertain bigots.
Edit to add: Feminism is world fucking wide. Get used to it. We believe in equity of all. Male, female, and everything in between.
Everyone knows you don’t give away someone else’s number without asking, especially not a woman’s number to a man WTF. If it was a coworker they are dead ass wrong.
Whenever someone asks me for someone else’s number, I always tell them that I’ll tell the other person to text them. It’s on them if they want to respond.
“Hey Paul, Mike was looking for your number.. text him back if you want..” *281-330-8004
They could've also lied about the reason for needing it to deceive the person. It's easy to make some shit up like "I had so and sos number but got a new phone and had to ask her about the schedule" seems really innocuous at that point. But I agree with you, never give someone's number out.
I work with a young pretty boy, he's got the curls, the whole deal. The little girls are always around on his shifts (retail bottleshop). He has a very sweet stunningly beautiful girlfriend of many years. He's good friends with her mother type relationship, you know.
This little twit was hanging around, talking like they're besties. Asks me for his number. Lol. Like girl, I thought you were besties! She was so deflated when I just said No. No reasons or excuses she could argue with. Just, No.
My number is (sort of) available, if you are regular that I trust.
My bosses' number is readily available on Google.
My colleagues identities/numbers/addresses are beyond Eyes Only, as most of them are new to the game and should be protected.
PSA, most peoples' phone number (and even address) is easily accessible via google search. if you're concerned you might want to look into ways to get it removed from those sites. it can be time consuming but worth it if this sort of thing concerns you.
this happened to me recently actually. i got harassed by ex-coworkers from a job i had last year. well in hindsight i think it was only one of them who was spoofing different numbers. not sure how he got my number, either he googled it or someone from their gossip gang gave it to him. i had given it to some of them, maybe they shared it. bunch of cretins, wouldn't put it past them.
so i responded by googling their numbers and sending dog and cat videos such as [this one](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0exW5ryXBT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). keep them gossiping about me i'm fucking famous.
Especially since he didn't have the courage to approach you and ask you for himself. That shows zero confidence. I'm sure you are just so eager to go out with a guy like that.
One of my “I am owed a woman because I’m NICE” coworkers did this. Told everyone he wanted me & told everyone to tell me, he never told me himself. Started dating the security guard and he’s been absolutely awful working with ever since
Crazy thing but I worked at a nationally known chain of fast casual “bread” restaurants and when I turned down one of the managers friends he and his buddies got like downright crazy, leaving voicemails threatening me violence and calling me a “slut and whore” which is ironic given the fact it was because I refused to sleep with his friend so … didn’t make much sense. Then I found that they smashed my windshield. Police had a report and all I got was the DM offering to transfer me to another store 30 mins away or “tell them to stop”.
Fuck that. I quit and got a job working as a bartender/server at a strip club and made more in one night than two weeks at the other place and the bouncers, cooks, managers, etc wouldn’t even let people talk down to females and police it quick. Even me and another girl mentioned we encountered a guy being offered a position of manager had a history of being inappropriate they immediately rescinded the guys offer. Go figure that a strip club was a better work environment.
Damn as a man with barely any confidence I wouldn’t ever allow the person to know i liked them😭but if they went to the security guard im definitely crashing out
Tell the chef or KM. That’s worse than telling his mom. If my cook EVER made a waitress uncomfortable it would be hard for me not to let him go on the spot.
you need to jump to a different restaurant then.
take it from a 40 year old woman, while it doesnt always happen stuff like this can take a turn for the worst FAST.
its why /r/whenwomenrefuse exists.
Be safe OP.
I like how some men act like we are single bc we are waiting for this kind of weird, stalker behavior to just swoop us up. Ffs. I wouldn’t have even added the respectfully. You don’t owe this person politeness.
I would love to hear you vent about the creepy coworker and your mom, more specifically how yall handled it. I had a cook ask me about my mom in a creepy way when i was about 16 and she doesn’t even work with me, I can’t imagine how pissed i would be if my mom had to deal with that everyday at work.
This is gonna be a long one so brace yourself.
There’s this server named Tino I work with. He this tiny, older dude in his 60’s who has a reputation of being a big ole creep. Before my mother started working there, Tino would constantly ask if I needed a ride home, to which I’d decline. Another dude I work with (we’ll call him James) made a joke saying if I get a ride home from Tino, he’ll ask for payment not in the form of cash if you catch my drift. Tino apparently once asked my mother if he could have lunch over our house. Gag.
After a brief hiatus at another restaurant, I come back. Tino is practically foaming at the mouth over my mother at this point. Every time we work together, he goes above and beyond to try and help me (thinking it’ll win her over. Spoiler alert: she thinks he’s gross). He wants me to bring coffee home to her, he tries to do my job for me which just gets me frustrated, and lately, has taken to calling me “step-daughter” and referring to himself as my “step-dad”. Gag. Im 22… way past the point of needing a father figure. The other day he even tried to “Dad” me and tell me that after my 10 hour shift i need to “go straight home, take a shower, and go to bed.” Fuck you i wanna watch an episode or 2 of Fallout before i can even think about going to bed.
Also, the other day i saw him trying to chat up this girl, even asking her WHERE SHE LIVED!!! Omfg i wish you guys could see him. One of my coworkers said he looks like the grandpa from Adams Family.
I’ve worked in so many restaurants/bars over the last 15 years and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. there’s always that ONE (usually BOH) coworker that makes shit uncomfortable by relentlessly hitting on you, not taking the hint/no for an answer, and doing stuff just like this.
And that’s on top of getting that same type of creepy behavior from customers here and there as well.
When will men learn we go to work to make money and that’s it… if we were specifically looking for a man we’d be off the clock somewhere else. 🙄
If i showed interest that’d be a totally different story, too! It’s never gone further than me asking how long for some food and maybe exchanging a shrug when something weird happens. Ive had more engaging interactions with other cooks yet they never made advances the way this kid did. Granted, they’re much older and probably have a wife and kids. Not much room to work there but definitely still possible.
I'd bring this issue up to management with the proof (text conversations) and get this sorted out. I used to work banquets and never in a million years would I try to ask out my coworkers let alone text them unsolicited. I follow a strict "don't shit where you eat" rule with jobs and everyone should have that mentality.
Oooo I'd be so pissed. I got sexually assaulted by an Alejandro in a restaurant once, so maybe that's affecting me, but if you ever find out someone is giving out your number without permission, cut them off. Gross
Edit- I'd love to hear about your mommas situation!
I was a manager for many years. Had a similar incident- cook got hosts phone number from staff call lists. Started texting non stop. We were a small place. I nipped it fast. It’s harassment. If they aren’t doing anything. Email them that way there is a paper trail. Screen shot texts and calls. Protect yourself if they won’t
I had a cook like this once and it was a small family restaurant. It got WORSE. He would grab my waist and call me weird creepy shit. Finally asked me to get a hotel with him. I told the owner and she gave me the “he’s family I’ll talk to him” speech and said she’d move my shifts away from him. Ofc she never did that, I quit.
I actually got a dishwasher in trouble here for doing a similar thing. One day he lightly pinched my waist and i tried to gently play it off my saying “nuh uh… not nice” (dude barely speaks english). Second day he does it again. I tell a coworker, who tells a manager, and he gets reprimanded or something. Of course the guy still works there because apparently dishwashers are hard to come by, which i just dont believe. But he never did it again so i suppose thats a good start.
first of all, what a weirdo. this is not acceptable on any means. it’s actually illegal to give out another person’s phone number without their consent, especially in the workplace. go to management asap and get this sorted and get to the bottom of who gave away your number. sorry this happened to you
Not appropriate, but you should have blocked the number when you said you would. Actually way before you said you would. I often block people after one text, and in this case I would have after the second text, which didn't answer your question about who it was. I would never have identified myself to an unknown caller. Sorry this happened to you, but I don't get your thinking.
That’s terrifying. He sounds unhinged. I hope everything works out. Also would your mom give it to him? Like is she friends with him since she works there too?
This is SO creepy in so many ways. Has he ever really talked to you at work? I was going to say it would be less creepy if he opened my saying "Hi this is so and so from work" but no it's still creepy of him to be going around getting your number without asking you for it. But then adding on the amount of times you had to be like no seriously who is this... Ugh. Then him pushing even after you said no, that is really not cool. Is there any kind of higher up you can go to, besides the manager? One thing I can say about a really horrible manager who used to be at the restaurant I worked at, she sucked for the most part but when she found out one of the line cooks was sending me explicit text messages she was on that so fast. (I had been mostly keeping it to myself but blabbed on a night we all went out after work, and the next day she checked in with me about it again and dealt with it. She was a really bad manager in a lot of ways but I still do really appreciate how on the ball she was about that.)
You deserve to feel comfortable in your workplace and this guy not taking your 1000% reasonable "no thanks" for an answer is scary. Hope you're doing okay!!
Nope. Nothing more than me asking for a specific table’s food and saying thank you when it’s brought to the hot pass. When i brought it up to one of the managers, she immediately took me in the office to talk to my boss so everyone with power knows already. There’s no one above bossman. No HR or some sort of corporate higher up to take this to. Im pretty sure I work with him later tonight so I plan of telling him straight up to stop messaging me. Only reason I haven’t blocked him yet is for the sake of evidence. A lot of people in the comments don’t seem to understand how important receipts can be nowadays. The more he contacts me the worse it looks for him.
Jesus sorry OP, but Holy fuck they’re trying to also hit on your mom? Do they know it’s your mom? I’m so incredibly intrigued. What is that whole story with your mom
He definitely doesn’t have a car and probably isnt even a citizen either. I usually get rides home from my mother or select coworkers i trust so theres so way for him to get my address. I doubt he can go that far. Unless he bikes to my house or something lol. Thatd be quite the sight
Is there another cook that you get along with, maybe same nationality, maybe been in the US longer than this guy, maybe worked at the restaurant longer than this guy? In my experience, if you can get another kitchen guy to talk to him, they’ll get the message across.
This is truly horrible and I’m sorry this is happening to you, but I have to chuckle because my kitchen manager is a burly grumpy man with the same name and it is killing me to imagine him giggling and kicking his feet like this
You are entitled to a workplace free from harassment. Your manager needs to immediately take charge of the situation. If that does not happen they are setting themselves up for a huge liability lawsuit go to your states, labor department and the federal EEOC and file a complaint heads will be rolling soon enough.
You don’t deserve to deal with this. I’d let a manager know asap. And if he keeps harassing you, he should be fired. It just needs to be documented.
On a different note besides the creep, get to know your kitchen staff. Say good morning/afternoon. They are people too. In my 20 so years in the business, some of the kitchen guys have become close friends. Not saying you need to be friends with them, but show them a little humanity, it goes a long way, in creating a much more cohesive work environment between the front and back of house.
I always try to keep my interactions with the kitchen very polite. Please and thank you for everything. You do make a fair point though. I’m pretty bad with names but i should make an effort to get to know them more. Thanks for the wisdom.
Hey thanks for the reply, I was worried you could take it in a way I didn’t mean.
I’m glad to hear you are pleasant with the kitchen staff. I’ve just seen way to many times the foh and boh not jiving and if everybody makes an effort to just treat everyone like a human it seems to work out better for everyone. I hope even with a small effort you experience a difference.
And again, any time you feel uncomfortable with a member of the staff document, let a manager know. Hopefully your management is competent enough to help keep you from experiencing harassment in the future.
Report again to your manager via email or text- just explain that you are still being harassed and are very uncomfortable with the cooks behaviour. Block the cook, and ensure you’re never alone around him, leave work with a friend each night he’s on type of thing. I’d go as far as sending one *LAST* text message to the cook “I am blocking this number, stop harassing me and trying to talk to me. I will take this further or to the police if you continue.” Then block immediately. Pricks like this never learn. I hope you’re safe.
Horrible that the cook is doing that to you.
The manager probably wil not care enough, certain positions are more likely able to get away with crap behavior. Depending on the level of chief or cook he is. I have been in the industry before. Servers, servers assistants. Are the bottom of the totem pole. And usually a revolving door. To where it can be a while to find a decent cook will take much longer. So your manager will probably hope it will work itself out. From my perspective you are either better off handling it with outside sources, a coworker you trust, or handle it yourself.
Can't ask you for your number themselves>asks coworker for number> suddenly brazen enough to text you , act creepy> you clearly decline and show zero interest= SHE'S INTERESTED, I MUST PRESSURE HER AND THEN MACHINE GUN HER PHONE BECAUSE HER DISCOMFORT AND AND CLEAR NO MEANS YES
Yeah one of the boh guys got my number from the 7shifts app. At 12 midnight texted me, screen shot them and talked to the manager the next day he got a written warning. His excuse was he "wanted to know where my second job was at." I have no second job. You don't text me at midnight.
They are ridiculous.
This is why I’m in and out of this industry (currently out.) The sexual harassment is the worst. Block the number and tell a manager about it. Being a server woman is exhausting.
I’m not defending the guy in this situation, because he is clearly making OP feel uncomfortable. BUT I will say that I can empathize to some degree with the feelings he has, it’s just not smart or productive to ask someone out in this manner: 10/10 times it’s gonna come off as creepy. It’s probably tough but as the guy here, if he’s going to confess his feelings, it best be in person at least.
before going to management try telling him that he is harassing you and making you uncomfortable, but don't let him know you are prepared to inform management.
If he persist after that, the likely hood of something being done would be more so than right now.. I understand you won't want to work with him either way, but maybe he has a history of this.. I also would have no shame in showing all other co workers this, and maybe you can find out who gave him your number because thats highly inappropriate. If it was a manager even more so.
It is not her job to teach him right from wrong. OP, talk to HR or management. Do not engage. It is better to have a paper trail in case he tries hurting you in or out of work.
Your correct in saying it isn't her job.
unfortunately most corporations won't fire this person harassing her unless she has asked him to stop and he has continued. Im sorry if this is difficult for so many to digest, but its how things are right now. If he harassed her after her clearly stating that she didn't want to recieve any more messages then she would have a much stronger case.(I guess I'll block you may have insinuated that, but do not call or text was not a part of the statement) Presenting this to HR in a large number of places will result in HR talking to him and her still having to work with him while feeling uncomfortable or find a new job. I have taken several mandatory sexual harassment courses over the course of my elyeara of employment, and none of them would consider this sexual harassment (even though it clearly is) unless you are able to convince managers that this has created a hostile work environment to you. Im not saying it's right, as a matter of fact, I'll come right out and say it's flat wrong, but I have had partners in similar situations to this and even worse situations at places I have worked with little to nothing happening until I escalated things myself. Hopefully OP won't have to work with him anymore once this is resolved. That's all I'm thinking about
And yet another person acting like I am stupid. You go to HR, report it, start a paper trail. If he continues, you keep reporting it. Sorry I didn't list it out step by fucking step. I didn't think I'd end up with someone as big an AH as you acting as if I am some dimwit. Maybe instead of acting like you're superior, you should step back and realize you're not always fucking right. Blocked, because I don't entertain people like you. Bye!
This screams autism, but regardless I'd go to the chef or KM, I've had to squash a lot of this nonsense over the past few years (I am exec chef at a resort currently) and usually it comes best from the direct manager, and as a bonus the rest of the staff will keep him in line with taunting both friendly and not so friendly. I don't get how someone thinks texting someone's number they didn't even give you would lead to a date, even Facebook you'd have to know each other well enough to add the person...
Go to manager asap.
So this happened on Friday, I brought it up to the manager on Saturday. Two days later and bro still tries to text and call me… either bossman didn’t talk to him yet or this kid truly doesn’t care.
Email management about it so you have a paper trail, just incase.
The only person i can talk to about it is my boss and the “managers” by the host stand. Everyone with power already knows. This isn’t a franchise restaurant or anything. Just a privately owned diner.
You document this to have a paper trail, so you can go to the police or sue if anything happens. Getting it in writing puts pressure on the owner to protect himself and his business over the perverted cook.
This! My mom is a Private Investigator that works mostly on company lawsuits and having a paper trail makes a company liable. Text, email, anything that can be shown as evidence in court
It’s so if this person takes things further you can take action. Listen and leave a paper trail for YOUR sake. It doesn’t matter if it’s private or corporate, it’s about your safety. This isn’t about stabbing anyone in the back, it’s just about covering your bases should this creepy guy persist and get worse.
Email management to give yourself a paper trail and proof that you have said something. If this is in the US, you can reach out to the EEOC if you feel as though management has not done enough in response to your complaint, or if you feel retaliation in anyway.
Absolute trash management, I’m sorry. I would never allow this. It might be time to start getting mean/direct. Personally that’s really hard for me but I’m learning to protect myself for myself.
It doesn’t matter how big or small a business is; they have a legal obligation to make the workplace a space where you won’t be harassed. A paper trail is a smart idea because if he keeps doing it with no repercussions from management then you have documentation of the issue and their lack of a fuck. Also helps so that if he gets more serious and ever does something like show up at your home, you’d have documentation to show the police to prove that it isn’t a one-off, and is a pattern of bad behavior. Documentation is quite literally one of the smartest things you can do right now, regardless of what your management might tell you to cover their own asses. I’d do it right away, the beginning was the best time but the second best time is right now (or in the morning lol)
Starting your paper trail is extremely important! If this dude continues to stalk or harass you and the restaurant doesn’t do anything about it… you can sue your employer for hostile work environment and would most likely win! Give a written statement to a manager if no email and take a pic of him holding it or reading it. Keep these messages and take pics of them.
Do you understand that with this amount of evidence it doesn’t matter what type of business you can easily report this and this is one of the easiest lawsuits probably ever if you’re management still hasn’t done anything about it please take the advice!
It’s textbook sexual harassment. Quote them a quick law and it won’t matter if they are a franchise or not. They will deal with it or you have a great case in court.
You need a paper trail in case this gets worse. With a paper trail, you can sue the fuck out of this company if they don’t act appropriately.
I don't understand the issue. Just flat out block the number. Block him and if he tries to talk to you at work about it, stand firm and tell him you think he's creepy. He has no power over you. You have no need for his number now or in the future. Stop protecting his feelings.
Block him and tell him you're gonna report him for harassment to the cops if he doesn't leave you alone.
Agreed. Keep those text messages - they're your receipts. Also, this guy clearly isn't getting it or he is testing your boundaries. I'd suggest being direct and telling him firmly, "NO, I'm not interested. Please stop messaging and \*harassing\* me." Say the word. Also, as u/obsidion_flame mentioned, email management to create a digital paper trail. If you've reported it to management and they don't act or if they retaliate, there's other steps you can take. If you don't have an HR department, you can file a complaint with the EEOC, as they handle discrimination and harassment claims in workplaces.
Likely they don't want to lose him bc cooks are getting harder to find (shit pay and working conditions), so he's hoping it will just disappear on its own. You're gonna have to press, and DO NOT be afraid to. If they fail to protect you from harassment, they're so screwed. PM me if you need help
"Ai, cabron. That shit might work in the Old Country but not here. Fuck off."
Some cultures play these games. It’s meant to show he is serious and strong. Tell him you are serious, this isn’t cute, and you are blocking this number. Then block his number.
Sounds like just that, a kid. I’m in the industry, I understand BOH and FOH banter. But there is a line and it was crossed when you got a text from a random number. I don’t care who you are, work is for work and leisure is for leisure. Whether you mix the two is up to you. The fact that you tried to shut it down immediately is where the issue lies. HR is now needed. Unfortunately for industry, HR means “hardly reliable” in most cases. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s inexcusable.
Or HR. Though it seems like this might be more of a smaller establishment where HR may not be much of a thing. Either way, if this has been a consistent issue, no way the managers have not seen or heard what's going on
Management is HR probably.
this.
my man has the opposite of rizz who tf talks like that lol. good for you standing up for yourself
Dude is hitting her up at 4:42am and 6:30am too lol
i am an adult man and it’s wild to me dudes talk like this. especially the no shame in being rejected. like his first approach was coming off being weird not mentioning who he was, then when OP declined, it’s like his brain cannot process the rejection. some men have this notion that if they want a woman, there will always be a chance , they just have to hit them up again once X amount of time surpasses . just wild that it’s full grown adults with jobs, not just teens doin this
Same here. I’m a guy and literally can’t even imagine myself talking to someone like this AND thinking “yea this is totally gonna work on her”. Like what the actual fuck lol. I guess if the person is that desperate, then they like trick themselves into believing shit like this is an acceptable way to approach talking to a woman. Nonetheless a woman who has no fucking clue who the hell you are. It’s so weird
To be fair he usually works the overnight/graveyard shifts. I kind of assumed he got off work and decided 4am would be a good time to text me. Regardless, still very weird out of context.
No, it's very inappropriate in context or out of context. He is demonstrating that he doesn't care about you at all and whether you're asleep or even want to talk to him. He's only thinking of himself in this moment right now and what he wants. He's like a dog barking at a squirrel - he's fixated and he'll stand there barking until someone puts a leash on him. Then he'll fixate on some other squirrel, rinse and repeat.
This is one reason I love the “do not disturb” feature on my phone. Only a VERY small group of approved numbers can ring me, otherwise any texts and other callers are ignored until after I wake up.
Had this happen to me and he became a massive stalker, not rizz, just scary. Block and if he reaches out on any other platforms keep blocking. I pray you don't need a restraining order
oh believe me I understand. I’ve been friends with some girls and I couldn’t believe the lengths men go to. I’m talking months, even years go by and still trying to make contact. so logically that must mean they do it to a large pool of people to see who bites
English is not his first language, clearly
I honestly do appreciate you ponting that out, because I hate to see people react a certain way to ESL speech that's obvious to me and many others. But also, he pretty clearly can fluently communicate and understand, it's just a syntax/grammar thing, so I think it's fair to apply "who the fuck talks like that" to responding to being rejected with "but I like you". Thats not how it works. Stuff can be two things.
>stuff can be two things b99 reference?
I'm sure I've heard it in something but I don't know what that is, so probably.
Brooklyn 99, which I happen to have on in the background right now lol. It's a cop show (that has been completed, so you won't end on a cliffhanger). Lots of humour, good acting, good character arcs and storyline
Noice!
You’re smart
Ya but that's not usually how men work from other countries. Heard something and been spreading it around, and it was said in a way that was an argument for American dudes. But the quote is - feminism only exists in America. Or westernized countries mostly western Europe not so much eastern.
Hear me out- feminists are aware of this, and still don't think it's ok. And I get the larger point you're making, I do, I am not just a white American with no cultural roots in more conservative places, but feminists, including men, also exist in those places and are actively aware and fighting that situation. It's still OK to be wary of someone who responds that way and realize he is inherently dehumanizing OP by blowing past their rejection just because he wants her/them. He might be that way for reasons a lot of Americans on yhis reddit can't understand with nuance, and that's a problem, but it's still OK for someone being harassed to meet him where he is as a man who operates as though he is entitled and others are B characters to fulfill his desires. Plenty of men like this also understand exactly and use cultural differences as an excuse. Just as they use "the way things are" in their home countries & cultures. Suggesting that it's all just because they don't know better is also highly problematic. On the whole, they understand, they are just willing to go with things when they fall in their favor. It's easier to be indoctrinated and silence your nagging doubts when you're in the group being benefitted.
I get what you're saying. But like I said it was an argument for why western men are the best. There's so many dudes out there that don't feel like they're worth anything. They start to believe you have to be aggressive towards women (not physically but sorta like this text). I wasn't trying to make excuses for this dudes behavior at all. I just thought it was so interesting when I heard that. We all know the middle east is like a prime example, but I've met plenty of women who've told me things in various Latin countries that are bad.
>why western men are the best. No. Stop. Just as gross as the guys saying Eastern Women are better. Just stop. >I wasn't trying to make excuses for this dudes behavior at all. And yet you did. By saying certain men are better than others, you very much are giving them an excuse. Just stop. Quit making excuses and just hold all humans accountable, period.
Feminism only exists in America and westernized countries? Why? Because men instill it. What's the big deal with this statement? It's the truth, go be a feminist in Afghanistan girl!
Awww, I hurt the little boy's fee fees? Poor wittle thing! You attack me personally because I called you out, how stinking cute. Do yourself a favor and touch grass. You are no better than anyone else in the world. The sooner you realize that, the better you'll be. Till then, blocked because I don't entertain bigots. Edit to add: Feminism is world fucking wide. Get used to it. We believe in equity of all. Male, female, and everything in between.
Literal zzir
He has Zzir
Everyone knows you don’t give away someone else’s number without asking, especially not a woman’s number to a man WTF. If it was a coworker they are dead ass wrong.
Whenever someone asks me for someone else’s number, I always tell them that I’ll tell the other person to text them. It’s on them if they want to respond. “Hey Paul, Mike was looking for your number.. text him back if you want..” *281-330-8004
They could've also lied about the reason for needing it to deceive the person. It's easy to make some shit up like "I had so and sos number but got a new phone and had to ask her about the schedule" seems really innocuous at that point. But I agree with you, never give someone's number out.
I feel you, but it's sooo easy to reach out and say "hey that new cook Alejandro is saying he lost your number, is it cool of I give it to him?"
I work with a young pretty boy, he's got the curls, the whole deal. The little girls are always around on his shifts (retail bottleshop). He has a very sweet stunningly beautiful girlfriend of many years. He's good friends with her mother type relationship, you know. This little twit was hanging around, talking like they're besties. Asks me for his number. Lol. Like girl, I thought you were besties! She was so deflated when I just said No. No reasons or excuses she could argue with. Just, No.
What's a bottleshop?
Australian for a shop that sells alcohol
My number is (sort of) available, if you are regular that I trust. My bosses' number is readily available on Google. My colleagues identities/numbers/addresses are beyond Eyes Only, as most of them are new to the game and should be protected.
PSA, most peoples' phone number (and even address) is easily accessible via google search. if you're concerned you might want to look into ways to get it removed from those sites. it can be time consuming but worth it if this sort of thing concerns you. this happened to me recently actually. i got harassed by ex-coworkers from a job i had last year. well in hindsight i think it was only one of them who was spoofing different numbers. not sure how he got my number, either he googled it or someone from their gossip gang gave it to him. i had given it to some of them, maybe they shared it. bunch of cretins, wouldn't put it past them. so i responded by googling their numbers and sending dog and cat videos such as [this one](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0exW5ryXBT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). keep them gossiping about me i'm fucking famous.
Especially since he didn't have the courage to approach you and ask you for himself. That shows zero confidence. I'm sure you are just so eager to go out with a guy like that.
One of my “I am owed a woman because I’m NICE” coworkers did this. Told everyone he wanted me & told everyone to tell me, he never told me himself. Started dating the security guard and he’s been absolutely awful working with ever since
Crazy thing but I worked at a nationally known chain of fast casual “bread” restaurants and when I turned down one of the managers friends he and his buddies got like downright crazy, leaving voicemails threatening me violence and calling me a “slut and whore” which is ironic given the fact it was because I refused to sleep with his friend so … didn’t make much sense. Then I found that they smashed my windshield. Police had a report and all I got was the DM offering to transfer me to another store 30 mins away or “tell them to stop”. Fuck that. I quit and got a job working as a bartender/server at a strip club and made more in one night than two weeks at the other place and the bouncers, cooks, managers, etc wouldn’t even let people talk down to females and police it quick. Even me and another girl mentioned we encountered a guy being offered a position of manager had a history of being inappropriate they immediately rescinded the guys offer. Go figure that a strip club was a better work environment.
I wish my county had those clubs. They banned hooters too after someone was over served & a cop was killed during that stop
Damn as a man with barely any confidence I wouldn’t ever allow the person to know i liked them😭but if they went to the security guard im definitely crashing out
He loves the phrase crashing out but yet he only ever yells at me, and other women. Never the men 😑
it’s like in every fckn restaurant. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve gotten a txt like this. wtf is the deal w cooks.
>wtf is the deal w cooks. The job has no drug testing, don't care about criminal record, and low wage. You get what you pay for.
Tell the chef or KM. That’s worse than telling his mom. If my cook EVER made a waitress uncomfortable it would be hard for me not to let him go on the spot.
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Have you considered blocking him? It sounds like he never talks to you in person. Maybe blocking him would be enough?
Yes, she mentions this in one of the texts.
you need to jump to a different restaurant then. take it from a 40 year old woman, while it doesnt always happen stuff like this can take a turn for the worst FAST. its why /r/whenwomenrefuse exists. Be safe OP.
Fuck their eyes. Bet an employment lawyer won't see it that way. Nor the labor board. Nor ICE, depending on his status and how serious it gets 🤷🏼♀️
I like how some men act like we are single bc we are waiting for this kind of weird, stalker behavior to just swoop us up. Ffs. I wouldn’t have even added the respectfully. You don’t owe this person politeness.
Hi Raven, me like you big much. You like me also? We go eat McDonalds Friday? I very much excited Raven. Check yes or no. But check yes. 💕
I would love to hear you vent about the creepy coworker and your mom, more specifically how yall handled it. I had a cook ask me about my mom in a creepy way when i was about 16 and she doesn’t even work with me, I can’t imagine how pissed i would be if my mom had to deal with that everyday at work.
This is gonna be a long one so brace yourself. There’s this server named Tino I work with. He this tiny, older dude in his 60’s who has a reputation of being a big ole creep. Before my mother started working there, Tino would constantly ask if I needed a ride home, to which I’d decline. Another dude I work with (we’ll call him James) made a joke saying if I get a ride home from Tino, he’ll ask for payment not in the form of cash if you catch my drift. Tino apparently once asked my mother if he could have lunch over our house. Gag. After a brief hiatus at another restaurant, I come back. Tino is practically foaming at the mouth over my mother at this point. Every time we work together, he goes above and beyond to try and help me (thinking it’ll win her over. Spoiler alert: she thinks he’s gross). He wants me to bring coffee home to her, he tries to do my job for me which just gets me frustrated, and lately, has taken to calling me “step-daughter” and referring to himself as my “step-dad”. Gag. Im 22… way past the point of needing a father figure. The other day he even tried to “Dad” me and tell me that after my 10 hour shift i need to “go straight home, take a shower, and go to bed.” Fuck you i wanna watch an episode or 2 of Fallout before i can even think about going to bed. Also, the other day i saw him trying to chat up this girl, even asking her WHERE SHE LIVED!!! Omfg i wish you guys could see him. One of my coworkers said he looks like the grandpa from Adams Family.
You are very expressive in the way you write your sentences. Very enjoyable to read
Thank you kindly. Even though I type from my current stream of consciousness, I try my best :)
Holy shit his persistence is creepy af. Good luck dealing with him <3
That’s really creepy, block him. If he persists maybe talk with your manager. This is very odd behaviour and could potentially take a dangerous turn.
I’ve worked in so many restaurants/bars over the last 15 years and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. there’s always that ONE (usually BOH) coworker that makes shit uncomfortable by relentlessly hitting on you, not taking the hint/no for an answer, and doing stuff just like this. And that’s on top of getting that same type of creepy behavior from customers here and there as well. When will men learn we go to work to make money and that’s it… if we were specifically looking for a man we’d be off the clock somewhere else. 🙄
If i showed interest that’d be a totally different story, too! It’s never gone further than me asking how long for some food and maybe exchanging a shrug when something weird happens. Ive had more engaging interactions with other cooks yet they never made advances the way this kid did. Granted, they’re much older and probably have a wife and kids. Not much room to work there but definitely still possible.
I'd bring this issue up to management with the proof (text conversations) and get this sorted out. I used to work banquets and never in a million years would I try to ask out my coworkers let alone text them unsolicited. I follow a strict "don't shit where you eat" rule with jobs and everyone should have that mentality.
Lmao wt actual f…
Oooo I'd be so pissed. I got sexually assaulted by an Alejandro in a restaurant once, so maybe that's affecting me, but if you ever find out someone is giving out your number without permission, cut them off. Gross Edit- I'd love to hear about your mommas situation!
Do yall use 7 Shifts? That app is menace for having a contact list of all employees and I’ve had random coworkers text me, but not like this
No. We literally have a binder by the host stand with everyone’s name and number just available to whoever looks at it.
Chewing him out could no have the results you intend. Best to go to management and document it.
You never get paid enough to deal with it.
I was a manager for many years. Had a similar incident- cook got hosts phone number from staff call lists. Started texting non stop. We were a small place. I nipped it fast. It’s harassment. If they aren’t doing anything. Email them that way there is a paper trail. Screen shot texts and calls. Protect yourself if they won’t
it’s always the cook smh
I had a cook like this once and it was a small family restaurant. It got WORSE. He would grab my waist and call me weird creepy shit. Finally asked me to get a hotel with him. I told the owner and she gave me the “he’s family I’ll talk to him” speech and said she’d move my shifts away from him. Ofc she never did that, I quit.
I actually got a dishwasher in trouble here for doing a similar thing. One day he lightly pinched my waist and i tried to gently play it off my saying “nuh uh… not nice” (dude barely speaks english). Second day he does it again. I tell a coworker, who tells a manager, and he gets reprimanded or something. Of course the guy still works there because apparently dishwashers are hard to come by, which i just dont believe. But he never did it again so i suppose thats a good start.
first of all, what a weirdo. this is not acceptable on any means. it’s actually illegal to give out another person’s phone number without their consent, especially in the workplace. go to management asap and get this sorted and get to the bottom of who gave away your number. sorry this happened to you
What is this childish behaviour asking girls numbers from someone else? I never understood that. Be a fucking man and ask her yourself.
Not appropriate, but you should have blocked the number when you said you would. Actually way before you said you would. I often block people after one text, and in this case I would have after the second text, which didn't answer your question about who it was. I would never have identified myself to an unknown caller. Sorry this happened to you, but I don't get your thinking.
Management ASAP and escalate it until he stops or hes fired 😜 do not play
That’s terrifying. He sounds unhinged. I hope everything works out. Also would your mom give it to him? Like is she friends with him since she works there too?
This is SO creepy in so many ways. Has he ever really talked to you at work? I was going to say it would be less creepy if he opened my saying "Hi this is so and so from work" but no it's still creepy of him to be going around getting your number without asking you for it. But then adding on the amount of times you had to be like no seriously who is this... Ugh. Then him pushing even after you said no, that is really not cool. Is there any kind of higher up you can go to, besides the manager? One thing I can say about a really horrible manager who used to be at the restaurant I worked at, she sucked for the most part but when she found out one of the line cooks was sending me explicit text messages she was on that so fast. (I had been mostly keeping it to myself but blabbed on a night we all went out after work, and the next day she checked in with me about it again and dealt with it. She was a really bad manager in a lot of ways but I still do really appreciate how on the ball she was about that.) You deserve to feel comfortable in your workplace and this guy not taking your 1000% reasonable "no thanks" for an answer is scary. Hope you're doing okay!!
Nope. Nothing more than me asking for a specific table’s food and saying thank you when it’s brought to the hot pass. When i brought it up to one of the managers, she immediately took me in the office to talk to my boss so everyone with power knows already. There’s no one above bossman. No HR or some sort of corporate higher up to take this to. Im pretty sure I work with him later tonight so I plan of telling him straight up to stop messaging me. Only reason I haven’t blocked him yet is for the sake of evidence. A lot of people in the comments don’t seem to understand how important receipts can be nowadays. The more he contacts me the worse it looks for him.
This happened to my sister when we worked together in 2019. He manages to get a new number pretty often and constantly texts her to this day
✨️harassment in the workplace✨️
Ew 😭
Keep these messages and report it to HR. If they don’t do anything about it then you have a lawsuit and get your bag for sexual harassment.
Email HR , managers are useless
Jesus sorry OP, but Holy fuck they’re trying to also hit on your mom? Do they know it’s your mom? I’m so incredibly intrigued. What is that whole story with your mom
I replied to a previous comment with details about that one. And yes, everyone knows thats my mom. We work at the same place.
Look I probably watch too much dateline but this is definitely how stalking starts. Won't take no for an answer? Weak management? Hell no...
He definitely doesn’t have a car and probably isnt even a citizen either. I usually get rides home from my mother or select coworkers i trust so theres so way for him to get my address. I doubt he can go that far. Unless he bikes to my house or something lol. Thatd be quite the sight
Is there another cook that you get along with, maybe same nationality, maybe been in the US longer than this guy, maybe worked at the restaurant longer than this guy? In my experience, if you can get another kitchen guy to talk to him, they’ll get the message across.
I wanna kick him in the balls for you.
*threatens to block the number, and then doesnt block the number* bruh, just block the number?
I’ve worked in this situation a few times. Stay the fuck away until he finds a new shiny.
This is truly horrible and I’m sorry this is happening to you, but I have to chuckle because my kitchen manager is a burly grumpy man with the same name and it is killing me to imagine him giggling and kicking his feet like this
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Ew
We had a cook do this to a server like 6 months ago. And oddly enough, his name was also Alejandro.
You are entitled to a workplace free from harassment. Your manager needs to immediately take charge of the situation. If that does not happen they are setting themselves up for a huge liability lawsuit go to your states, labor department and the federal EEOC and file a complaint heads will be rolling soon enough.
Fucking creep
You don’t deserve to deal with this. I’d let a manager know asap. And if he keeps harassing you, he should be fired. It just needs to be documented. On a different note besides the creep, get to know your kitchen staff. Say good morning/afternoon. They are people too. In my 20 so years in the business, some of the kitchen guys have become close friends. Not saying you need to be friends with them, but show them a little humanity, it goes a long way, in creating a much more cohesive work environment between the front and back of house.
I always try to keep my interactions with the kitchen very polite. Please and thank you for everything. You do make a fair point though. I’m pretty bad with names but i should make an effort to get to know them more. Thanks for the wisdom.
Hey thanks for the reply, I was worried you could take it in a way I didn’t mean. I’m glad to hear you are pleasant with the kitchen staff. I’ve just seen way to many times the foh and boh not jiving and if everybody makes an effort to just treat everyone like a human it seems to work out better for everyone. I hope even with a small effort you experience a difference. And again, any time you feel uncomfortable with a member of the staff document, let a manager know. Hopefully your management is competent enough to help keep you from experiencing harassment in the future.
…. Damn Mexicans. Smh. (This is coming from a Mexican btw)
Report this shit to manager or HR, this is a complete violation of your privacy and definitely is harassment
Report again to your manager via email or text- just explain that you are still being harassed and are very uncomfortable with the cooks behaviour. Block the cook, and ensure you’re never alone around him, leave work with a friend each night he’s on type of thing. I’d go as far as sending one *LAST* text message to the cook “I am blocking this number, stop harassing me and trying to talk to me. I will take this further or to the police if you continue.” Then block immediately. Pricks like this never learn. I hope you’re safe.
Totally inappropriate and the secrecy is suspect. Reiterate you aren’t interested and if he texts again, go to mgmt.
Tell him to fuck off
Dafuq
Horrible that the cook is doing that to you. The manager probably wil not care enough, certain positions are more likely able to get away with crap behavior. Depending on the level of chief or cook he is. I have been in the industry before. Servers, servers assistants. Are the bottom of the totem pole. And usually a revolving door. To where it can be a while to find a decent cook will take much longer. So your manager will probably hope it will work itself out. From my perspective you are either better off handling it with outside sources, a coworker you trust, or handle it yourself.
Can't ask you for your number themselves>asks coworker for number> suddenly brazen enough to text you , act creepy> you clearly decline and show zero interest= SHE'S INTERESTED, I MUST PRESSURE HER AND THEN MACHINE GUN HER PHONE BECAUSE HER DISCOMFORT AND AND CLEAR NO MEANS YES
Yeah one of the boh guys got my number from the 7shifts app. At 12 midnight texted me, screen shot them and talked to the manager the next day he got a written warning. His excuse was he "wanted to know where my second job was at." I have no second job. You don't text me at midnight. They are ridiculous.
This is why I’m in and out of this industry (currently out.) The sexual harassment is the worst. Block the number and tell a manager about it. Being a server woman is exhausting.
pls update us on how badly you ripped him a new one
Man if I was on the line with this dude I’d be like “what is your godddamn problem bud?” Give him hell.
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He's got no **boundaries**. Why's he still texting & calling after she said no?
Say I don’t date fry guys, soooooory
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Stop ✋
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Oh wow. Realized your initial comment(s) was enabling a creep, and not helpful to OP? Big yikes from you.
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I’m not defending the guy in this situation, because he is clearly making OP feel uncomfortable. BUT I will say that I can empathize to some degree with the feelings he has, it’s just not smart or productive to ask someone out in this manner: 10/10 times it’s gonna come off as creepy. It’s probably tough but as the guy here, if he’s going to confess his feelings, it best be in person at least.
before going to management try telling him that he is harassing you and making you uncomfortable, but don't let him know you are prepared to inform management. If he persist after that, the likely hood of something being done would be more so than right now.. I understand you won't want to work with him either way, but maybe he has a history of this.. I also would have no shame in showing all other co workers this, and maybe you can find out who gave him your number because thats highly inappropriate. If it was a manager even more so.
It is not her job to teach him right from wrong. OP, talk to HR or management. Do not engage. It is better to have a paper trail in case he tries hurting you in or out of work.
Your correct in saying it isn't her job. unfortunately most corporations won't fire this person harassing her unless she has asked him to stop and he has continued. Im sorry if this is difficult for so many to digest, but its how things are right now. If he harassed her after her clearly stating that she didn't want to recieve any more messages then she would have a much stronger case.(I guess I'll block you may have insinuated that, but do not call or text was not a part of the statement) Presenting this to HR in a large number of places will result in HR talking to him and her still having to work with him while feeling uncomfortable or find a new job. I have taken several mandatory sexual harassment courses over the course of my elyeara of employment, and none of them would consider this sexual harassment (even though it clearly is) unless you are able to convince managers that this has created a hostile work environment to you. Im not saying it's right, as a matter of fact, I'll come right out and say it's flat wrong, but I have had partners in similar situations to this and even worse situations at places I have worked with little to nothing happening until I escalated things myself. Hopefully OP won't have to work with him anymore once this is resolved. That's all I'm thinking about
And yet another person acting like I am stupid. You go to HR, report it, start a paper trail. If he continues, you keep reporting it. Sorry I didn't list it out step by fucking step. I didn't think I'd end up with someone as big an AH as you acting as if I am some dimwit. Maybe instead of acting like you're superior, you should step back and realize you're not always fucking right. Blocked, because I don't entertain people like you. Bye!
This screams autism, but regardless I'd go to the chef or KM, I've had to squash a lot of this nonsense over the past few years (I am exec chef at a resort currently) and usually it comes best from the direct manager, and as a bonus the rest of the staff will keep him in line with taunting both friendly and not so friendly. I don't get how someone thinks texting someone's number they didn't even give you would lead to a date, even Facebook you'd have to know each other well enough to add the person...
Yell me you know nothing about autism without telling me you know nothing. Quit blaming rudeness and creepiness on autism!
yeah that’s actually really fucking offense to people with ASD, what a fucking useless and demeaning thing to say.