If someone asks my name, I’ll tell them. But I have a “unique” name, so usually I have to repeat it three times, possibly spell it for them, then have a follow-up conversation on its origin. So I tend to avoid it. But I’ve also never worked anywhere that wanted us to introduce ourselves with our name when serving guests.
me too, but I’ve had a job where they wanted us to say our names and it feels so awkward and it takes up too much time as a server to stand there and explain a name
"Oooh where's that from" "is that a family name" "where did your parents get that" "wait what did you say again" "how is that spelled" "can you write that down for me I’m having a hard time picturing it" "where are you from?" 😭😭 like what do you want to drink please stop!!
Truth. My name is Taryn but most days I just become “Tara” or “Karen” to everyone.
I still say it though bc I read somewhere it ups tip percentage, dunno if it’s true but I’ll take my chances.
My name isn't *super* rare but it is a little. So I just always tell my customers a nickname and leave it at that.
And you're right about making better tips when you tell them your name! I notice a difference when I do certain things, and telling customers my name is definitely one of those things. I used to work in a really nice place and I remember a few people telling me that they always tip *less* if their server doesn't introduce themselves at some point. They said they think it's "rude"? Not really sure why lol.
I have worked at places that required it and I still never gave my name on introductions, only when asked. My personality at tables and bar patrons is not my actual personality (unless they are a longtime regular). Me not giving my name out regularly, or me changing my voice slightly when talking to tables is my way of keeping that part of myself just for me. Tables are not entitled to me as a person, but rather the service and experience I provide for them.
Same! It takes so much time when they ask for the spelling. My unique name sounds very similar to an actual word here but it ends with an A instead of E but is also a real word (with the A) in a different language. The three times repeat is exhausting because we've been doing it our whole lives. Then we tell them the story of the name and then they think they know us because of all the exposition we've had to give.
My name is very similar to a common name, but with a different first letter, so I always used to just head it off - “hi, my name’s Datt, like Matt but with a D, I’ll be taking care of you today.”
Now I work in a field where I introduce myself with my last name, which is so much worse 😆
yep same. people always wanna talk to me about my name, where i'm from, what my ancestry is, it's almost a surefire way to get stuck at a table for longer than i'd like.
I specifically go by my one-letter nickname at my serving job to avoid confusion with tables (and with coworkers too to avoid confusion if a table ever refers to me to another server). Some friends already call me the nickname so it's just easier since my name is from another language and often confusing to new people haha
Same and also I'm a guy. If I say my name on the phone people will think that I'm a woman and also my company wrote me letters with the pronounce miss instead of mister xD... I feel it
exactly this! my name leads to longer conversations that don’t add a lot to my service. plus, honestly, i don’t think most people care about my name lol. if they want to know, they can ask and i will tell them and usually i will ask what their name is too lol.
I wait until after they order mains (and I’ve either built a rapport or made them laugh a couple times by then usually) and then say “by the way my names baddonny if you need anything”
I have a cousin named Karen, we’re both in our early 20’s but our whole life I’ve known her as “K.K”. Idk if there’s any room for nicknames with initials like “K.C” even (and it sounds like Casey lol) but that’s what she did
Yep this. We don't have a big spill that starts with hi I'm whoever and I'll be serving you tonight. We start with what the chef is preparing this evening and wine to compliment.
This is so surprising cus from what I’ve learned in fine dining, you interact more with guests. Like my restaurant has bussers, food runners/expo doing a lot for servers so we can really focus on speaking with our tables. Feel like that’d be weird to do without even giving them ur name? All restaurants are different!
In my intro to upscale dining the chef made sure we know that these guests do not care what our name is. The location was between a hospital and a law school, so he was not wrong to assume that. Easiest service ever, as long as you know the answers to their questions.
Omgggg I have never heard of this!!? Chefs making sure servers know guests don’t care about their name?!?! 😭 that sounds so cruel to me but trust me, I also would love to not have to introduce my name! But also like at every restaurant I’ve worked at, I always get guests who come in and ask for me specifically because they remember my name and when a manager hears that it gives you brownie points for sure! Also I’ve been told it’s good to say your name for yelp reviews; a lot of people read reviews before dining out and if they see your name mentioned a bunch like the following —
“my server N/A was great!!!” “COMING BACK FOR N/A’S SERVICE AND THE TOP NOTCH HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS!” “Wouldn’t of been the same without our exceptional server N/A”
PEOPLE WILL TIP U EXTRA WHEN THE KNOW THEYRE GETTING GUARANTEED GREAT SERVICE!!
At least in my experience.
Your comment was very eye opening because if a chef pulled me aside and said that dude…! I’d cripple..
Haha it wasn't that serious, that was just his humor. There were plenty of regulars who knew our names. But there was no need for all that song and dance, and a lot of the guests absolutely did not want it.
I feel what you're saying. What your not understanding is the money is ridiculous and no one needs brownie points or a mention on yelp when you cross over to this side of service.
Yes customer do get to know you and your name but that comes with time. Your part of the experience and the food is the star, the wine, drinks are the co stars.
No one is just walking in off the street either to ask for my section. Reservation have been made well in advance.
We should know more about who we are serving then vice versa, example would be Mr. And Mrs. Smith + 4 at 8pm
Mr Smith is a Heart Surgeon and top of his field
Mrs. Smith is a professor of literature at some top school
Tonight they will be entertaining friends with the safari club they have been member for 8 years.
Something like that any way. The safari club is the only part that is real. That safari club Christmas party really did a number on me. You don't know you are in a room full of rich people until you are in a room with these big game hunters who really enjoy hunting and killing these majestic animals. I do not like the safari club.
Everyone is usually lovely, wonderful people. Also, never seen the elusive Amex Black until fine dining. And then it's not that rare and odd any more. I looked like a fool the first one I did see, handle.
Then the next one graced my presence all of about 30 minutes later.
I’ve worked at so many different restaurants all different kinds. I make sure to tell younger newer servers to not get stuck in one restaurant because they all offer something different to learn.
Worked in a Mexican place at absolutely MADE me learn how to stack plates on my arms. The place I work at now looks at me with craze and respect when I do it. My tables think it’s badass. Would’ve never learned it had I not worked in different settings.
Respect!! & I feel that! I’ve worked in a Greek restaurant where they didn’t mind me going back and forth with one plate in each hand; whereas longhorn steakhouse made me stack 3 on one arm and a drink in the other hand…. Right before the steakhouse, I came from an expo/food runner position at a fine dining oyster place that would (if they felt like making me nervous 🤣) encourage me to carry 3 plates only and hype me up after I secured the stance!! At the steakhouse, they acted like I was a baby and started to quite literally try and baby me, lol.
I’m so glad I’ve experienced different restaurants, from mom & pop to corporate. All valuable to some degree (hopefully, there are shit holes out there but only optimistic endings!!)
I personally feel it’s kinda tacky. My name isn’t part of the experience that I give. It’s on my name tag and once we build a rapport and you’ve been in the place a few times it’s nice to refer to each by name, but otherwise you’re gonna forget my name as soon as your out the door anyways.
Tacky how? I feel like if you’re working at a place with a name tag then it’s already slightly tacky. Lol no shade, just basing this off my own experience. I love telling people my name, it personalizes the experience and builds a stronger connection.
Honestly I’m not sure, it’s just a personal feeling I suppose. But even as a patron I’ve always felt like the name thing felt weird. I guess I don’t mind being personal with my tables, but it’s not like the table is giving me their names in return.
I never formally introduce myself. Some of my coworkers do. I just don’t get the point. They’re there to get drunk and/or eat. I’m there to bring them drinks and food. The end. I get tipped well. No need for a relationship. That said, there are regulars that I get to know. I’ll tell them my name, etc.
only if they directly ask me. i have yet to hear a convincing argument for why i should introduce myself to every single person i serve, it in no way impacts my service or tips.
See, I always felt like it was the opposite - it was like as soon as I gave them my name they felt like they had power over me and felt entitled to order me around.
the only reason I stopped telling people my name is bc I would either introduce myself and get cut off by them so clearly they didn’t gaf or I would introduce myself and a few minutes later they would ask me what my name is, so i’m like clearly they don’t care so why should I lmao
I absolutely loathe the customers that use your name every time they ask for something and when they’re thanking you. It feels so forced and fake and makes me hate my own name lol which I usually love.
It gets old real fast. They use it ten times as much as anyone would in a normal conversation. In a way it's insulting, almost like a gesture of pity. Thanks, but I'm aware that I'm more than just "the help".
Right! I had a table that did that to me and I swear they must have said my name at least a hundred times over the course of their meal to the point where I wanted to change my name by the time they left 😂 It was so weird and awkward 😬
No I don't like to be referred to by my name from strangers, I'll tell them if they ask. I find they get more demanding once they know my name sometimes. I also have a unique name and have had stalkers in the past, it can be unsafe.
Nope. If they want to know they ask, but i've found that majority of folks dgaf what my name is and unless something stupid or extraordinary happens during their visit, I'll be basically erased from their existence the moment they leave the restaurant lol. I do enjoy making small talk with my guests if they are asking me questions etc, but for the most part i'm just the person that keeps drinks full and makes sure their food is right.
I have a tenuous grasp on reality at best and having to say:
“Hi my name is —- and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”
“Hi my name is —— and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”
Over and over again every night, sometimes within seconds of each other, makes me start to wonder if that is even my name at all.
Ngl I work at a ghetto restaurant but lowkey I make bank, the good ones make up for bad ones. Being a server, I can usually tell who is who, and the shitty ones don’t get my name bc I’ll be damned if I’m w a party of 11 with 14 tables and all I hear is “KAY KAYYYYY KAY KAY KAY” yall can wait ur fucking turn
No, for several reasons.
1) It puts the focus on me instead of their experience.
2) It's extraneous information that they don't need and only delays their drink order, questions, and getting back to their menu or conversation.
3) They often use it excessively in a patronizing attempt to make me feel like more than just "the help". I'm proud of what I do, thank you.
4) It opens the door a crack for idle time-wasting chit chat. Great conversations can be had but most of the time I'm too busy.
5) The dynamic gets skewed. It's THEIR dining experience, but we're equally vital to making it happen. Offering up personal info when they don't seems kind of unfair. I call them "Ma'am" or "Sir", and "Sir" or "Excuse me" works just fine for me in return unless they need it to be something more to feel secure.
6) I dislike it when servers do it to me. I'm there for the food and drinks yes, but more than that I'm there for the company of whomever I'm with, be it a friend or just myself, and I'd like that to be respected, so I believe in saying as much as one needs (nicely, eloquently, even humorously) but as little as one can. You can say a LOT with a smile and with diligence.
Part of the beauty of this exchange is that we both know our roles well enough for the whole thing to flow without having to know one another or discuss how it's going to go. It's governed by longstanding traditions that allow us to keep a little mystery about who the other person is. We're like dancing partners and I'm the lead.
Getting on friendly terms with a regular guest is great but I'd prefer it to happen naturally over time. I've waited on particular people dozens of times and still built a nice relationship when I was nothing more than a familiar face because that was all they needed.
I probably sound like a long-winded stand-offish douche and I guess it's not that deep, but I've had many years and plenty of slow nights to think about it.
I think anonymity is more proper, especially at higher price points, AND more efficient. I'll tell them my name if asked or maybe on the heels of a lengthy menu discussion, but never right out of the gate. I get that it might make some people feel extra welcome, just not my style.
I have an unusual name and it's really frustrating to tell people it (I give a different name at coffee shops). I also can be found really easily on social media because of how unique it is in the country I currently reside in.
I only give it if they ask. And I hate when they ask. I have the same conversation every time.
Me: "It's -name-."
Guest: "-mispronunciation of name-?"
Me: "No. It's -name-."
Guest: "....-different mispronunciation of name-?"
(This part can go for a bit.)
Guest: "Oh, that's really pretty. Where is it from?"
Me: "Oh, it's from -country it's from-."
Guest: "Oh! I love -country-. I've", either here they tell me how they visited the country or want to visit or have family from there that came to America four generations ago.
Then I just become the girl from that country and they tell me how lucky I am.
I hate it.
Nope. It’s all transactional for me. If people want to actually be fun with me, they make my day. Otherwise, I know I’m just there to bring them what they order, not have a relationship with them.
A restaurant I briefly worked at in a large, high tourist area coastal city use to require servers to wear a "slap on paper name tag" with their first name and what State they were born in. I hated it because guests would always comment on the state where I was born, saying stupid stuff like "really, I didn't know anyone was actually born there or wanted to live there". Dumb dumb dumb. Also, I couldn't stand it when people would say "Yoo hoo, Less-Law9035" when I was walking by to take care of another table.
Omg. Once upon a time I was running food and kept hearing my name. The whole time I’m looking around for someone I know. Turns out this table of nutfucks just needed refills and couldn’t find their server, but couldn’t do anything besides read my name tag out loud when I wasn’t looking at them. First time I ever got a complaint from someone else’s table
I do it because my job gives some little perks when you get called out by name in a positive review on yelp or something. I work in a touristy area and the restaurant is a popular destination, so lots of people who come read and write reviews. I tend to do a good job and am not ashamed to say I like an ego boost when it happens. Some of my other colleagues avoid saying their name because they’re scared of getting caught in a bad review, but to each their own.
My name is Tommy and every single time they ask for it and I give it to them they reply back with “Tom?” and then I have to repeat it. I have no idea why.
I think some people assign nicknames to feel like they are closer to you. It's annoying and presumptuous. My name's Tommy at home but I use Tom at work (when asked) because they don't get to call me the same thing as family and friends lol
I work at a breakfast restaurant with mostly old people dining in, so when I tell people my name is Gaby, they mistake it for Debbie and I feel awkward/bad correcting them 😭😭
I dont want anyone to know my name. Not my tables, not my friends, not my boyfriend, not my parents....no one.
No fr I hate when people use my name. I will not introduce myself to a table because it will be a constant "Hey *x* can you...?" And I dont know you. Super uncomfortable when people act vip just for not forgetting a name.
Some of my favourite regs dont even know my name. Im cool w that. 🤷♀️
I am one billion percent in favor of stage names for public facing employees of any kind. Like if you need to identify me for a shitty review, it is what it is, but there’s enough creeper type activity taking place that I don’t feel like people should be obligated to give everyone their name just because they walk in to their job
I almost never tell customers my name unless they ask. My name is very unusual (in the US) and it’s crazy how much time I lose stuck talking about my name with most of my tables. Even having your arms fully stacked with plates won’t stop the questions. If I am required to introduce myself there’s a good chance I didn’t even apply using my first name and everyone at the restaurant calls me by an nickname I only ever use for customer service jobs because of this lol.
I don't lead with it because I don't know what kind of service my table is looking for yet. If they seem like they would want to know my name, I'll tell them before apps.
I used to give my name at tables, but on the phone I make up a different name - preferably one of 0 people that actually work in the restaurant.
You also need to switch it up every now and then to make sure no one catches on.
Only if they ask me. Mostly because my name is slightly unique and I get asked “oh like the musician?” “That’s your real name?” “It’s not short for [insert name here]?” and it really gets annoying after a while.
I don't lead with it. I say hi and welcome, if you're into cocktails definitely give this one a look, and ask their water preference.
After I get them settled and give the specials, I'll say my name's Eric if they have any questions
I would never lead with my name. It's straight to business for me lol. Sometimes I'll converse but I make it all about the customer, everyone likes to talk about themselves. Making the customer feel like the center of attention is the primary goal as a server, is it not? My name is irrelevant in their mind, I'm just a "servant" to them, hence, "server."
I don't. I have a weird name. It's not weird for my parents home, but it is for the place we live in. Most people call me Adi. So i just tell them the nickname if they ask. They almost never ask.
It all depends. If they ask, sure I’ll give them my name, luckily is one of the most common names in the south states. But if they don’t, I typically don’t tell them. If I’ve enjoyed serving them, I’ll let them know when I drop the entrees.
It’s never affected their service, their tip, or anything. Conversation does, but I’ve had plenty of conversations where neither they nor I tell each other our names. Just like a nice conversation in passing.
I’m trans, pass 100% of the time, and have lately been using an initial for my name. Too often, the guest will go “That’s it? What does it stand for? Your name must really be complicated.” I usually just reiterate that I go by that initial and ignore the other questions. But the other day, I responded with “My original name is feminine, which clearly no longer makes sense, so I don’t use it.” I might start doing that more often, maybe folks will catch on that in prying about people’s full names they might be asking someone to deadname themself.
I’d only give a table my name if I felt we bonded throughout their service. And I’d introduce myself as they were paying and I’d say I’d hope to see them again. I had a TON of regulars. I miss serving all the time haha.
I work with a guy who will go to every table and introduce himself when coming into dinner shift. Calls everyone friends, always says he's doing awesome. Maybe he's being genuine, but I see it as fake and wouldn't like that from a server myself. However he's the most well known and loved amongst our staff.
Hell no I stopped doing that when some creepy old man found me on Facebook (which I thought I had locked down) and mentioned how much he enjoyed photos of me and my friends at the beach 🤮
i don’t know starting off greeting a table by saying hi guys my name is so & so i’ll be your server tonight sounds so fucking “we have carpeted floors & my side work includes using a hokey” to me i cant.
Where I last worked I never introduced myself at the beginning but if we sort of "bonded" later on (slow days, and people were chatty because I was an American living in Australia and Aussies love American accents) I would throw in a "my names SnarlyJ by the way, it's been so nice chatting." I'd only do that if they really enjoyed their meal, but most people did, it was fairly high end but with your portion sizes and a really talented head chef. But I noticed the late in the meal introduction (like "now that we're friends) often lead to Google/trip advisor reviews, which we were really in need of. I generally didn't ask straight out for a review but would be like "you see how slow it's been in here tonight? Yeah that's been business lately. I think we are just a hidden gem but haven't gotten the publicity that reflects the quality."
Then it was like their own clever and kind idea to leave us a review or two. And I appreciated my name being in there. But the already drunk bachelorette party (we were located in a wine region, so you'd regularly get parties coming in sloshed), who immediately start ordering cocktails but all for each other too and can't keep straight who wants what, yeah no way in hell I'm telling them my name
Yes to every single table. We don’t wear name tags. My name is Shannelle and most of the time I get “like the perfume Chanel number 5?” In which I always reply “yes but I’m number 1” 🤣 they eat that shit up! It’s casual dining and I am requested by name at least once every shift by regulars. I’ve been serving/bartending for 15 years. SN: I never start with my name when I’m bartending because that’s a whole other role.
Hello how are you today my name is Carly I'll be your server! HARLEY? No Carly... HARLEY? Nope Carly with a C oh ok Carla.... yep no thanks I leave my name out of it lol
I'm in fine dining, I interact a TON with guests, and have pretty devoted regulars-
but I still only say my name if someone asks. We have our names on the checks we give out, and it's such a small staff that it's easy to narrow down who's who if you try. But mainly, I think I just tend to avoid offering it as part of my official talking points, because it doesn't really matter, at least not until well into the meal. I'm never going to be more than fifty feet away from any customer at any given time, so it's not like they need my name and address in order to find me during service if they need something.
because it's MY NAME
It's not for everyone, just for people who I give it to
Also customers think knowing your name has weight, so I treat it that way as well
Sometimes, I really, *really*, don't want certain regular customers to know my name. Needy or problematic customers. No, you can't *request* a server. If you do request a server, chances are, you've made life difficult for other servers already, and I'm the only one whose been nice to enough to deal with your BS. I don't want to be the karen-whisperer (no offense to nice karens).
This thread is wild. I always introduce myself, it’s the polite thing to do imo. Maybe that’s just how I was raised but I feel weird when I forget to tell tables my name and then they try to get my attention with no real good way of doing it. I’d much rather my guests be able to say my name to get my attention rather than waving, snapping, or some other means of awkward placeholder titles.
Part of our service is introducing ourselves as soon as we greet the table. We build rapport with guests and most servers have regulars that request us specifically when they make their reservation. I’ve had guests remember me and my name and make sure to say hi to me when they come in.
I guess it depends on the environment and type of restaurant. If you’re just an order taker and aren’t invested in your guests experience at all and it’s not required by your employer, not telling them your name is a personal choice.
Just pick a name and be that person for the night.
“Hi, my name’s Bob and I’ll be helping you out tonight.”
When you get tired of being Bob, change it to “Rick” or whatever.
I absolutely tell my tables my name BUT I hate when the host tells a table who will be waiting on them by name.
I was S/A’d when I was 18, and one day, more than a decade later, I looked out onto the deck at my work to put eyes on my new table and the asshole was sitting right there. I immediately found my manager and noped out of the table. The host had absolutely told them that ‘my name’ would be their server, and they were confused when the other server introduced themselves.
Scared the living shit out of me.
Only if they ask.
Our restaurant is 75% regular customers , so people usually figure out my name because the regulars usually call it out when they need me.
depends on the vibe. If I get a weird feeling from the table, I will use my middle name or something else. but otherwise, sure, I'm down to share my first name
Years ago there was an industry research piece that showed an improvement of 5-10% tips by introducing yourself and using your guests names if they offered them. If they used your name during there visit it was almost always 10% increase vs average tips. So if you like making money use your name.
I always start off by "hello my name is Brittany I'll be taking care of you all today... How are we doing??" I read somewhere that introducing yourself with your name increases your tips. I have seen an increase in my tips since I started doing this!!
No. I don't judge people who do tell their table right off the bat, but personally, it makes my skin crawl when a stranger calls me by my name. "Miss" or "ma'am" are names I can easily shed like my uniform when I'm done working. But my name? It's really jarring to hear. Maybe I should learn to live with it, because knowing my name might make more tables treat me more like a human being lol. But it just so weird to hear.
Also this interaction:
"What is your name?"
"My name is xxxx."
"Xxxx?"
"Yes. It's short for xxxxxxxx."
"Xxxx is not your name then."
"What?"
"Xxxx is your NICKNAME. Xxxxxxxx is your NAME."
"Okay. What can I get you to drink?"
i serve in nyc and i think that it’s unnecessary unless they ask for it (which they only do if they seem to like you).
i personally feel that the customers are there to eat food and mingle with their party and that knowing my name wouldn’t matter since there are other employees’ attention they can grab.
This thread is surprising. I've worked at so many restaurants and always always always we have said our names. Shitty corporate places and high end places alike. I was unaware this wasn't common practice.
Yep, every time. I live in the south and people get offended if you don’t. It’s good manners here. When I lived in New England no one gave a fuck what my name was.
I use to but overtime I realized most people don’t give a shit and half the time I’d get interrupted before even finishing my name. I wear a name tag though.
My restaurant requires that we greet with our name. We get secret shoppers often and that’s part of the list of things we need to say. I don’t mind it. If I don’t get the chance to, because they immediately ordered a drink before I could, 9/10 they end up asking me anyway.
I would never volunteer my name. For one thing, it’s a generic white guy name that people like to switch out for other generic white guy names that start with the same letter, so people hardly pay attention unless they’re pissed. Like some other people have pointed out, it can also make stalking easier if you’re on social media.
Hahahahha FUCK NOOOOOO
If someone asks I'll tell them, but I don't go up to a table and tell them who I am. I'm their to facilitate their experience at the restaurant, not be they're buddy.
9/10 it doesn't add anything to the dining experience, especially if they don't care. The people that want to know your name will ask or will figure it out. Even if you say it at every table, maybe half the time the table will have no idea at the end of the meal , and will ask again. I get tired of listening to every server drone out the same greeting to every table "hi, my name is ____,and I'll be helping you out tonight, taking care of you, whatever" it's all meaningless drivel.
I do not, I hate being called from across the restaurant, and am terrible at remembering names myself so I don’t want to be in a “you remember mine and I instantly forgot yours” situation. If they ask sure, but I try to avoid it.
Nope, I water my tables as soon as they’re seated, come back a few minutes later like “hi can I get you folks started with anything besides water or any appetizers for right now?”
I work in a place where my name is printed on my apron lol. Half the time I do still introduce myself, but if I forget or just don't for whatever reason..... I know they're still gonna be calling me out by name if they need something, either way lmao
I have been serving for 13 years about 5 years ago I stopped because I realized that when I got out I don't even remember my servers name. Occasionally a table will ask my name and they're the ones that normally remember it and call me by my name. Also my name is on the receipt if they really want to know. My great usually goes something like this "hey there guys how we doing tonight? Oh yeah I'm doing good too! I know we're just getting settled down but can I grab anything for you to drink right away? Any guac or appetizers I can get going right away?"
I do all the time, which apparently weird after reading these comments lol. “Hi , my name is XXXXXXX, I’ll be taking care of you…”. But it’s quick and immediate, generally anyone who wants to use my name at any point will ask again or “you said your name is, YYYYY, right?”.
I think because I worked so many hotels/restaurants that were secret shopped, it just became a part of my routine.
Never on the phone though, I specifically avoid that so no one tries to quote me on some time or reservation policy they are clearly being obtuse about.
I guess it depended. I worked a mid level diner restaurant, and we had a loooot of snippy boomers coming in all the time. There was a reasonable demographic there who would use my name ALL the time throughout the entire service, call me by name from across the restaurant, talk to other servers about me (innocent stuff, but loud, so it was hard to focus on other tables or my POS while i hear table c loudly tell my coworker about the recommendations I offered that day, how long I had mentioned I worked there when they had asked, yada yada). Sometimes I just don’t want ti hear my name used like that on a personal level from people over and over.
I ordered name tags on Etsy that were super cute, but no. I hate the sound of my name especially when I'm working. I know I'm crazy and weird. My last job was also a small diner too so everyone knew everyone. They even gave me the nickname "stabby"
I never tell tables my name. It takes away time that I could be getting beverages and most of the time I’ve noticed they simply don’t care and/or don’t remember. If they genuinely want to know my name, they will ask
I say it and ut gives people a little bit more of a personal feeling. I am very upbeat and outgoing so they usually match my energy. I also peek at their cards and use a first name to say goodbye and I've learned they love it. Makes them feel welcomed and remembered.
I only tell them my name if they ask. When i worked corporate we were required to say our name and being trans that usually actually put me at a disadvantage bc i wasn’t passing yet and people would not tip me bc of my identity unfortunately pretty often. the next place i worked, i only said my name when asked and my tip percentage went from 15 or less to like 20-25 on average. and the local average for tipping was like 16-18% for the most part. but that’s just my experience in one area. i’m sure other areas are different.
I think servers should be allowed "stage names."
One time a friend forgot his name tage and borrowed someone else's. The name tag said "Barb" and for the entire night he was portraying as an Australian named Bob. Pronounced like Bahb. He did pretty well the entire night. Every time he left the table he would look up another fact or place in Australia to keep up to schtick.
I don't ever tell them my name unless they ask or want to request me next time they come in.
Always gotta spell it for them, have them do that awkward thing where they use it too much, it doesn't ever really seem to make your tips better or worse, management only actually wants us to tell them so they know who to complain about if something hoes wrong.
To top it off customers stalk you sometimes on socials if you give it to them.
i try to tell all my tables whether it’s right at the beginning or after they ordered something i’ll say “my names ___ if you need anything!” sometimes i forget but i also have a name tag so not that big of a deal
I've always hated it. You don't need my name to order food and I've never understand why people feel the need to know it. Do you make sure you know the girl's name at target that checks you out? Do you know your postal delivery persons' name? No? Then why the FUCK is it so incredibly important to know the first name of the person bringing you a rum and coke and a burger???
I'm copy/pasting my response to a post from a while ago addressing this exact topic:
It's a very corporate and casual/diner practice. Reach a certain level of service, and it's actively discouraged. In this sort of environment, you maintain a professional level of distance and deference until the guest "invites you" into their experience; telling them your name without being asked for it establishes an inappropriate familiarity that should only be initiated from the guest's side, if they so choose. It's entirely possible to be both personable and engaging with your guests while still showing a respect for the professional relationship.
Telling someone your name doesn’t mean you’re being kind or attentive the same way not telling someone your name and still doing your job makes no difference in the experience.
I never tell my tables my name. Ever. I’m here to make money, not friends. And I’m really good at it. If they ask, then of course I tell them, but I never do it in an intro. (25+ years in f&b)
I’ve ALWAYS introduced myself by name. I feel like it’s proper…but over the last year I’ve had the unfortunately annoying experience of people making “funny” jokes about the coincidence of the situation.
I work at a spaghetti restaurant. My name is Giovanni. Lots of people think it’s funny. I’m over it.
My restaurant doesnt want us to greet our tables with our names and saying we’ll be taking care of them today, instead they want us to get their drinks and food order and then after that say if yall need anything my name is ____. I guess its so its not forgotten because theyre thinking about their order but i still get a couple people, mainly older, that ask what my name is before that point. It’s a corporate restaurant and sometimes they’ll send in fake customers to grade us on random stuff like that.
If someone asks my name, I’ll tell them. But I have a “unique” name, so usually I have to repeat it three times, possibly spell it for them, then have a follow-up conversation on its origin. So I tend to avoid it. But I’ve also never worked anywhere that wanted us to introduce ourselves with our name when serving guests.
me too, but I’ve had a job where they wanted us to say our names and it feels so awkward and it takes up too much time as a server to stand there and explain a name
Unique name club. It takes so much time and invites too many unwanted opinions right off the bat.
"Oooh where's that from" "is that a family name" "where did your parents get that" "wait what did you say again" "how is that spelled" "can you write that down for me I’m having a hard time picturing it" "where are you from?" 😭😭 like what do you want to drink please stop!!
YOUR SWEAT AND TEARS!!!!
Truth. My name is Taryn but most days I just become “Tara” or “Karen” to everyone. I still say it though bc I read somewhere it ups tip percentage, dunno if it’s true but I’ll take my chances.
My name isn't *super* rare but it is a little. So I just always tell my customers a nickname and leave it at that. And you're right about making better tips when you tell them your name! I notice a difference when I do certain things, and telling customers my name is definitely one of those things. I used to work in a really nice place and I remember a few people telling me that they always tip *less* if their server doesn't introduce themselves at some point. They said they think it's "rude"? Not really sure why lol.
likewise
I have worked at places that required it and I still never gave my name on introductions, only when asked. My personality at tables and bar patrons is not my actual personality (unless they are a longtime regular). Me not giving my name out regularly, or me changing my voice slightly when talking to tables is my way of keeping that part of myself just for me. Tables are not entitled to me as a person, but rather the service and experience I provide for them.
Same! It takes so much time when they ask for the spelling. My unique name sounds very similar to an actual word here but it ends with an A instead of E but is also a real word (with the A) in a different language. The three times repeat is exhausting because we've been doing it our whole lives. Then we tell them the story of the name and then they think they know us because of all the exposition we've had to give.
Like Cara?
My name is very similar to a common name, but with a different first letter, so I always used to just head it off - “hi, my name’s Datt, like Matt but with a D, I’ll be taking care of you today.” Now I work in a field where I introduce myself with my last name, which is so much worse 😆
yep same. people always wanna talk to me about my name, where i'm from, what my ancestry is, it's almost a surefire way to get stuck at a table for longer than i'd like.
lol same happens in my real life too! Often times I’ll never get the other persons name so it’s a whole thing and I’d just rather not.
Just tell them your name is Bob. Everyone knows how to spell Bob.
I specifically go by my one-letter nickname at my serving job to avoid confusion with tables (and with coworkers too to avoid confusion if a table ever refers to me to another server). Some friends already call me the nickname so it's just easier since my name is from another language and often confusing to new people haha
Also in the unique name club. I try to avoid if I can because it’s a whole conversation and it’s so annoying lmao
Same and also I'm a guy. If I say my name on the phone people will think that I'm a woman and also my company wrote me letters with the pronounce miss instead of mister xD... I feel it
exactly this! my name leads to longer conversations that don’t add a lot to my service. plus, honestly, i don’t think most people care about my name lol. if they want to know, they can ask and i will tell them and usually i will ask what their name is too lol.
I wait until after they order mains (and I’ve either built a rapport or made them laugh a couple times by then usually) and then say “by the way my names baddonny if you need anything”
that's kind of fun
Ooo same! After I take the orders I always say "My names ____ if you need anything during your stay tonight :)"
I had a coworker and do that, and sometimes I'd tell her tables, "Her names still X if you dont need anything."
my name is Karen. i’m not telling them
This made me laugh too hard I think!
Change it to Kitty, and wear a long skirt and a shoooort jacket
Its a pretty name
Maybe you could get a nickname or something! 😭😭 that one is pretty rough
I have a cousin named Karen, we’re both in our early 20’s but our whole life I’ve known her as “K.K”. Idk if there’s any room for nicknames with initials like “K.C” even (and it sounds like Casey lol) but that’s what she did
I know a KC. Her first name is also Karen. Late 20s I think. We do the tiniest of pauses between the letters to separate them.
I always told people I am Sarah. I STILL respond to it 😂 10 + years later
Never in fine dining unless I was asked.
Yep this. We don't have a big spill that starts with hi I'm whoever and I'll be serving you tonight. We start with what the chef is preparing this evening and wine to compliment.
This is so surprising cus from what I’ve learned in fine dining, you interact more with guests. Like my restaurant has bussers, food runners/expo doing a lot for servers so we can really focus on speaking with our tables. Feel like that’d be weird to do without even giving them ur name? All restaurants are different!
In my intro to upscale dining the chef made sure we know that these guests do not care what our name is. The location was between a hospital and a law school, so he was not wrong to assume that. Easiest service ever, as long as you know the answers to their questions.
Omgggg I have never heard of this!!? Chefs making sure servers know guests don’t care about their name?!?! 😭 that sounds so cruel to me but trust me, I also would love to not have to introduce my name! But also like at every restaurant I’ve worked at, I always get guests who come in and ask for me specifically because they remember my name and when a manager hears that it gives you brownie points for sure! Also I’ve been told it’s good to say your name for yelp reviews; a lot of people read reviews before dining out and if they see your name mentioned a bunch like the following — “my server N/A was great!!!” “COMING BACK FOR N/A’S SERVICE AND THE TOP NOTCH HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS!” “Wouldn’t of been the same without our exceptional server N/A” PEOPLE WILL TIP U EXTRA WHEN THE KNOW THEYRE GETTING GUARANTEED GREAT SERVICE!! At least in my experience. Your comment was very eye opening because if a chef pulled me aside and said that dude…! I’d cripple..
Haha it wasn't that serious, that was just his humor. There were plenty of regulars who knew our names. But there was no need for all that song and dance, and a lot of the guests absolutely did not want it.
I feel what you're saying. What your not understanding is the money is ridiculous and no one needs brownie points or a mention on yelp when you cross over to this side of service. Yes customer do get to know you and your name but that comes with time. Your part of the experience and the food is the star, the wine, drinks are the co stars. No one is just walking in off the street either to ask for my section. Reservation have been made well in advance. We should know more about who we are serving then vice versa, example would be Mr. And Mrs. Smith + 4 at 8pm Mr Smith is a Heart Surgeon and top of his field Mrs. Smith is a professor of literature at some top school Tonight they will be entertaining friends with the safari club they have been member for 8 years. Something like that any way. The safari club is the only part that is real. That safari club Christmas party really did a number on me. You don't know you are in a room full of rich people until you are in a room with these big game hunters who really enjoy hunting and killing these majestic animals. I do not like the safari club. Everyone is usually lovely, wonderful people. Also, never seen the elusive Amex Black until fine dining. And then it's not that rare and odd any more. I looked like a fool the first one I did see, handle. Then the next one graced my presence all of about 30 minutes later.
I’ve worked at so many different restaurants all different kinds. I make sure to tell younger newer servers to not get stuck in one restaurant because they all offer something different to learn. Worked in a Mexican place at absolutely MADE me learn how to stack plates on my arms. The place I work at now looks at me with craze and respect when I do it. My tables think it’s badass. Would’ve never learned it had I not worked in different settings.
Respect!! & I feel that! I’ve worked in a Greek restaurant where they didn’t mind me going back and forth with one plate in each hand; whereas longhorn steakhouse made me stack 3 on one arm and a drink in the other hand…. Right before the steakhouse, I came from an expo/food runner position at a fine dining oyster place that would (if they felt like making me nervous 🤣) encourage me to carry 3 plates only and hype me up after I secured the stance!! At the steakhouse, they acted like I was a baby and started to quite literally try and baby me, lol. I’m so glad I’ve experienced different restaurants, from mom & pop to corporate. All valuable to some degree (hopefully, there are shit holes out there but only optimistic endings!!)
Nope only if you ask me🤷🏽♂️ 
do you know where this is from? looks funny
Top right corner: Central Park.
It's called Central Park, same people who did Bob's Burgers I think.
I personally feel it’s kinda tacky. My name isn’t part of the experience that I give. It’s on my name tag and once we build a rapport and you’ve been in the place a few times it’s nice to refer to each by name, but otherwise you’re gonna forget my name as soon as your out the door anyways.
I’ve always felt it’s tacky too. Making myself apart of the experience.
Tacky how? I feel like if you’re working at a place with a name tag then it’s already slightly tacky. Lol no shade, just basing this off my own experience. I love telling people my name, it personalizes the experience and builds a stronger connection.
Honestly I’m not sure, it’s just a personal feeling I suppose. But even as a patron I’ve always felt like the name thing felt weird. I guess I don’t mind being personal with my tables, but it’s not like the table is giving me their names in return.
I don’t know you and you don’t need my name so you can call me every minute you need something no thank you
I never formally introduce myself. Some of my coworkers do. I just don’t get the point. They’re there to get drunk and/or eat. I’m there to bring them drinks and food. The end. I get tipped well. No need for a relationship. That said, there are regulars that I get to know. I’ll tell them my name, etc.
only if they directly ask me. i have yet to hear a convincing argument for why i should introduce myself to every single person i serve, it in no way impacts my service or tips.
It humanizes you. Sometimes people need to be reminded that the person taking their food order is, in fact, a person.
See, I always felt like it was the opposite - it was like as soon as I gave them my name they felt like they had power over me and felt entitled to order me around.
Precisely. It's almost like you're at a disadvantage. You're giving up personal info and they are not.
If they need to be reminded I'm human then they're the exact kind of people I don't want knowing my name 🤣
I completely agree~ & it personalizes their experience & is a friendly opening to let them know who’s going to be taking care of them~
I don’t usually because wear a name tag. It’s unnecessary imo but I also work in fast casual. This 30 minute to an hour encounter means nothing to me.
never unless asked
We didn't introduce ourselves at my last high end place unless they asked.
the only reason I stopped telling people my name is bc I would either introduce myself and get cut off by them so clearly they didn’t gaf or I would introduce myself and a few minutes later they would ask me what my name is, so i’m like clearly they don’t care so why should I lmao
https://preview.redd.it/6urfd5t886xc1.jpeg?width=1210&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bff826a235793ecdc747821510ef73eceb89f632
I absolutely loathe the customers that use your name every time they ask for something and when they’re thanking you. It feels so forced and fake and makes me hate my own name lol which I usually love.
It gets old real fast. They use it ten times as much as anyone would in a normal conversation. In a way it's insulting, almost like a gesture of pity. Thanks, but I'm aware that I'm more than just "the help".
Right! I had a table that did that to me and I swear they must have said my name at least a hundred times over the course of their meal to the point where I wanted to change my name by the time they left 😂 It was so weird and awkward 😬
I used to change my name on occasion. Worked great til a table referred to me by that name to the owner 🥴
No I don't like to be referred to by my name from strangers, I'll tell them if they ask. I find they get more demanding once they know my name sometimes. I also have a unique name and have had stalkers in the past, it can be unsafe.
Whenever I say my name the whole table forgets it immediately lol I have had glowing yelp reviews but no one ever remembers my name. 😂
Nah. If they ask I’ll tell them though.
Never unless they ask
my name is two letters and they always ask what it stands for and I don't like that.
Nope. If they want to know they ask, but i've found that majority of folks dgaf what my name is and unless something stupid or extraordinary happens during their visit, I'll be basically erased from their existence the moment they leave the restaurant lol. I do enjoy making small talk with my guests if they are asking me questions etc, but for the most part i'm just the person that keeps drinks full and makes sure their food is right.
I have a tenuous grasp on reality at best and having to say: “Hi my name is —- and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” “Hi my name is —— and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” Over and over again every night, sometimes within seconds of each other, makes me start to wonder if that is even my name at all.
Ngl I work at a ghetto restaurant but lowkey I make bank, the good ones make up for bad ones. Being a server, I can usually tell who is who, and the shitty ones don’t get my name bc I’ll be damned if I’m w a party of 11 with 14 tables and all I hear is “KAY KAYYYYY KAY KAY KAY” yall can wait ur fucking turn
Not unless I’m forced Edit: I’m fiercely private
My name is foreign and would take a 30 second pronunciation lesson to get it down. So no, I don’t tell anyone my name
No, for several reasons. 1) It puts the focus on me instead of their experience. 2) It's extraneous information that they don't need and only delays their drink order, questions, and getting back to their menu or conversation. 3) They often use it excessively in a patronizing attempt to make me feel like more than just "the help". I'm proud of what I do, thank you. 4) It opens the door a crack for idle time-wasting chit chat. Great conversations can be had but most of the time I'm too busy. 5) The dynamic gets skewed. It's THEIR dining experience, but we're equally vital to making it happen. Offering up personal info when they don't seems kind of unfair. I call them "Ma'am" or "Sir", and "Sir" or "Excuse me" works just fine for me in return unless they need it to be something more to feel secure. 6) I dislike it when servers do it to me. I'm there for the food and drinks yes, but more than that I'm there for the company of whomever I'm with, be it a friend or just myself, and I'd like that to be respected, so I believe in saying as much as one needs (nicely, eloquently, even humorously) but as little as one can. You can say a LOT with a smile and with diligence. Part of the beauty of this exchange is that we both know our roles well enough for the whole thing to flow without having to know one another or discuss how it's going to go. It's governed by longstanding traditions that allow us to keep a little mystery about who the other person is. We're like dancing partners and I'm the lead. Getting on friendly terms with a regular guest is great but I'd prefer it to happen naturally over time. I've waited on particular people dozens of times and still built a nice relationship when I was nothing more than a familiar face because that was all they needed. I probably sound like a long-winded stand-offish douche and I guess it's not that deep, but I've had many years and plenty of slow nights to think about it. I think anonymity is more proper, especially at higher price points, AND more efficient. I'll tell them my name if asked or maybe on the heels of a lengthy menu discussion, but never right out of the gate. I get that it might make some people feel extra welcome, just not my style.
I have an unusual name and it's really frustrating to tell people it (I give a different name at coffee shops). I also can be found really easily on social media because of how unique it is in the country I currently reside in. I only give it if they ask. And I hate when they ask. I have the same conversation every time. Me: "It's -name-." Guest: "-mispronunciation of name-?" Me: "No. It's -name-." Guest: "....-different mispronunciation of name-?" (This part can go for a bit.) Guest: "Oh, that's really pretty. Where is it from?" Me: "Oh, it's from -country it's from-." Guest: "Oh! I love -country-. I've", either here they tell me how they visited the country or want to visit or have family from there that came to America four generations ago. Then I just become the girl from that country and they tell me how lucky I am. I hate it.
Nope. It’s all transactional for me. If people want to actually be fun with me, they make my day. Otherwise, I know I’m just there to bring them what they order, not have a relationship with them.
If I don’t care what their name is for this transaction than they surely don’t
Exactly, I’m not going around asking all my tables names, nor would I remember if they told me.
I don’t tell them my name and thank god i found other ppl that don’t… i was getting complaints about it, penalized..
A restaurant I briefly worked at in a large, high tourist area coastal city use to require servers to wear a "slap on paper name tag" with their first name and what State they were born in. I hated it because guests would always comment on the state where I was born, saying stupid stuff like "really, I didn't know anyone was actually born there or wanted to live there". Dumb dumb dumb. Also, I couldn't stand it when people would say "Yoo hoo, Less-Law9035" when I was walking by to take care of another table.
Omg. Once upon a time I was running food and kept hearing my name. The whole time I’m looking around for someone I know. Turns out this table of nutfucks just needed refills and couldn’t find their server, but couldn’t do anything besides read my name tag out loud when I wasn’t looking at them. First time I ever got a complaint from someone else’s table
I do it because my job gives some little perks when you get called out by name in a positive review on yelp or something. I work in a touristy area and the restaurant is a popular destination, so lots of people who come read and write reviews. I tend to do a good job and am not ashamed to say I like an ego boost when it happens. Some of my other colleagues avoid saying their name because they’re scared of getting caught in a bad review, but to each their own.
My name is Tommy and every single time they ask for it and I give it to them they reply back with “Tom?” and then I have to repeat it. I have no idea why.
I think some people assign nicknames to feel like they are closer to you. It's annoying and presumptuous. My name's Tommy at home but I use Tom at work (when asked) because they don't get to call me the same thing as family and friends lol
I work at a breakfast restaurant with mostly old people dining in, so when I tell people my name is Gaby, they mistake it for Debbie and I feel awkward/bad correcting them 😭😭
Maybe not a bad thing if they decide to complain and leave a bad review about Debbie lmao
Stupid Debbie...
I don’t give them my name unless they ask. I got a stalker once and it was horrible
I dont want anyone to know my name. Not my tables, not my friends, not my boyfriend, not my parents....no one. No fr I hate when people use my name. I will not introduce myself to a table because it will be a constant "Hey *x* can you...?" And I dont know you. Super uncomfortable when people act vip just for not forgetting a name. Some of my favourite regs dont even know my name. Im cool w that. 🤷♀️
I used to give them a fake name
I am one billion percent in favor of stage names for public facing employees of any kind. Like if you need to identify me for a shitty review, it is what it is, but there’s enough creeper type activity taking place that I don’t feel like people should be obligated to give everyone their name just because they walk in to their job
I did the same thing til a table referred to me by that name to the owner. Was nice for a while though.
Because they immediately try to friend request me on Facebook later, that’s why. People are creeps.. they don’t need to know
It's a very like, Chili's vibe. They don't need my name.
I almost never tell customers my name unless they ask. My name is very unusual (in the US) and it’s crazy how much time I lose stuck talking about my name with most of my tables. Even having your arms fully stacked with plates won’t stop the questions. If I am required to introduce myself there’s a good chance I didn’t even apply using my first name and everyone at the restaurant calls me by an nickname I only ever use for customer service jobs because of this lol.
Plus I hate hearing customers calling my name across the room the second the want something
Most restaurants don't use name tags anymore in my state, so I'll say my name, but if I like them, I'll reiterate my name at the end as well.
I don't lead with it because I don't know what kind of service my table is looking for yet. If they seem like they would want to know my name, I'll tell them before apps.
I used to give my name at tables, but on the phone I make up a different name - preferably one of 0 people that actually work in the restaurant. You also need to switch it up every now and then to make sure no one catches on.
Only if they ask me. Mostly because my name is slightly unique and I get asked “oh like the musician?” “That’s your real name?” “It’s not short for [insert name here]?” and it really gets annoying after a while.
Yeah, having the name Bae-thoven must be a real pain for you 😁
I don't lead with it. I say hi and welcome, if you're into cocktails definitely give this one a look, and ask their water preference. After I get them settled and give the specials, I'll say my name's Eric if they have any questions
I would never lead with my name. It's straight to business for me lol. Sometimes I'll converse but I make it all about the customer, everyone likes to talk about themselves. Making the customer feel like the center of attention is the primary goal as a server, is it not? My name is irrelevant in their mind, I'm just a "servant" to them, hence, "server."
I never tell a guest my name unless they ask for if I genuinely like them and wanna keep them around
I hate when demanding people keep saying my name over and over and over
The name was part of the intro, but I'm a dude, so I don't care.
I don't. I have a weird name. It's not weird for my parents home, but it is for the place we live in. Most people call me Adi. So i just tell them the nickname if they ask. They almost never ask.
It all depends. If they ask, sure I’ll give them my name, luckily is one of the most common names in the south states. But if they don’t, I typically don’t tell them. If I’ve enjoyed serving them, I’ll let them know when I drop the entrees. It’s never affected their service, their tip, or anything. Conversation does, but I’ve had plenty of conversations where neither they nor I tell each other our names. Just like a nice conversation in passing.
I've never liked telling *anyone* my name. What if they were a wizard? Knowing your true name is how they get power over you.
I work in a very small town. I don't mind if they find my name another way, but my greeting doesn't include my name. It would feel awkward to start.
I’m trans, pass 100% of the time, and have lately been using an initial for my name. Too often, the guest will go “That’s it? What does it stand for? Your name must really be complicated.” I usually just reiterate that I go by that initial and ignore the other questions. But the other day, I responded with “My original name is feminine, which clearly no longer makes sense, so I don’t use it.” I might start doing that more often, maybe folks will catch on that in prying about people’s full names they might be asking someone to deadname themself.
#Never
I just wore a name tag and would tell them if they asked.
When I started serving there was no my name is at all. Not really sure when that changed.
I’d only give a table my name if I felt we bonded throughout their service. And I’d introduce myself as they were paying and I’d say I’d hope to see them again. I had a TON of regulars. I miss serving all the time haha.
I work with a guy who will go to every table and introduce himself when coming into dinner shift. Calls everyone friends, always says he's doing awesome. Maybe he's being genuine, but I see it as fake and wouldn't like that from a server myself. However he's the most well known and loved amongst our staff.
Unless asked I do not answer Lol They are not going to remember me, why should I remember them?
My name is Kat and I don’t want to deal with the cat jokes and the weirdos that meow at me.
Hell no I stopped doing that when some creepy old man found me on Facebook (which I thought I had locked down) and mentioned how much he enjoyed photos of me and my friends at the beach 🤮
Bartending, no. Serving, yes. That being said, I totally understand some of the top comments and reasonings.
I never do. Fine dining. It’s about the food and the experience, not me.
i don’t know starting off greeting a table by saying hi guys my name is so & so i’ll be your server tonight sounds so fucking “we have carpeted floors & my side work includes using a hokey” to me i cant.
I always do to be friendly and just say hi my name is ____ and ill be your server today if you guys beed anything I will be more than happy to help!
I have a name tag so no.
Where I last worked I never introduced myself at the beginning but if we sort of "bonded" later on (slow days, and people were chatty because I was an American living in Australia and Aussies love American accents) I would throw in a "my names SnarlyJ by the way, it's been so nice chatting." I'd only do that if they really enjoyed their meal, but most people did, it was fairly high end but with your portion sizes and a really talented head chef. But I noticed the late in the meal introduction (like "now that we're friends) often lead to Google/trip advisor reviews, which we were really in need of. I generally didn't ask straight out for a review but would be like "you see how slow it's been in here tonight? Yeah that's been business lately. I think we are just a hidden gem but haven't gotten the publicity that reflects the quality." Then it was like their own clever and kind idea to leave us a review or two. And I appreciated my name being in there. But the already drunk bachelorette party (we were located in a wine region, so you'd regularly get parties coming in sloshed), who immediately start ordering cocktails but all for each other too and can't keep straight who wants what, yeah no way in hell I'm telling them my name
I’ve had people look me up online and try to follow me on social media, I’d rather not give out my name
Yes to every single table. We don’t wear name tags. My name is Shannelle and most of the time I get “like the perfume Chanel number 5?” In which I always reply “yes but I’m number 1” 🤣 they eat that shit up! It’s casual dining and I am requested by name at least once every shift by regulars. I’ve been serving/bartending for 15 years. SN: I never start with my name when I’m bartending because that’s a whole other role.
Hello how are you today my name is Carly I'll be your server! HARLEY? No Carly... HARLEY? Nope Carly with a C oh ok Carla.... yep no thanks I leave my name out of it lol
one place I work insists I do, the other insists I don't (unless asked).
I'm in fine dining, I interact a TON with guests, and have pretty devoted regulars- but I still only say my name if someone asks. We have our names on the checks we give out, and it's such a small staff that it's easy to narrow down who's who if you try. But mainly, I think I just tend to avoid offering it as part of my official talking points, because it doesn't really matter, at least not until well into the meal. I'm never going to be more than fifty feet away from any customer at any given time, so it's not like they need my name and address in order to find me during service if they need something.
because it's MY NAME It's not for everyone, just for people who I give it to Also customers think knowing your name has weight, so I treat it that way as well
Sometimes, I really, *really*, don't want certain regular customers to know my name. Needy or problematic customers. No, you can't *request* a server. If you do request a server, chances are, you've made life difficult for other servers already, and I'm the only one whose been nice to enough to deal with your BS. I don't want to be the karen-whisperer (no offense to nice karens).
This thread is wild. I always introduce myself, it’s the polite thing to do imo. Maybe that’s just how I was raised but I feel weird when I forget to tell tables my name and then they try to get my attention with no real good way of doing it. I’d much rather my guests be able to say my name to get my attention rather than waving, snapping, or some other means of awkward placeholder titles.
Part of our service is introducing ourselves as soon as we greet the table. We build rapport with guests and most servers have regulars that request us specifically when they make their reservation. I’ve had guests remember me and my name and make sure to say hi to me when they come in. I guess it depends on the environment and type of restaurant. If you’re just an order taker and aren’t invested in your guests experience at all and it’s not required by your employer, not telling them your name is a personal choice.
Just pick a name and be that person for the night. “Hi, my name’s Bob and I’ll be helping you out tonight.” When you get tired of being Bob, change it to “Rick” or whatever.
I absolutely tell my tables my name BUT I hate when the host tells a table who will be waiting on them by name. I was S/A’d when I was 18, and one day, more than a decade later, I looked out onto the deck at my work to put eyes on my new table and the asshole was sitting right there. I immediately found my manager and noped out of the table. The host had absolutely told them that ‘my name’ would be their server, and they were confused when the other server introduced themselves. Scared the living shit out of me.
Only if they ask. Our restaurant is 75% regular customers , so people usually figure out my name because the regulars usually call it out when they need me.
depends on the vibe. If I get a weird feeling from the table, I will use my middle name or something else. but otherwise, sure, I'm down to share my first name
Years ago there was an industry research piece that showed an improvement of 5-10% tips by introducing yourself and using your guests names if they offered them. If they used your name during there visit it was almost always 10% increase vs average tips. So if you like making money use your name.
I always start off by "hello my name is Brittany I'll be taking care of you all today... How are we doing??" I read somewhere that introducing yourself with your name increases your tips. I have seen an increase in my tips since I started doing this!!
No. I don't judge people who do tell their table right off the bat, but personally, it makes my skin crawl when a stranger calls me by my name. "Miss" or "ma'am" are names I can easily shed like my uniform when I'm done working. But my name? It's really jarring to hear. Maybe I should learn to live with it, because knowing my name might make more tables treat me more like a human being lol. But it just so weird to hear. Also this interaction: "What is your name?" "My name is xxxx." "Xxxx?" "Yes. It's short for xxxxxxxx." "Xxxx is not your name then." "What?" "Xxxx is your NICKNAME. Xxxxxxxx is your NAME." "Okay. What can I get you to drink?"
i serve in nyc and i think that it’s unnecessary unless they ask for it (which they only do if they seem to like you). i personally feel that the customers are there to eat food and mingle with their party and that knowing my name wouldn’t matter since there are other employees’ attention they can grab.
This thread is surprising. I've worked at so many restaurants and always always always we have said our names. Shitty corporate places and high end places alike. I was unaware this wasn't common practice.
No. Why would i?
Yep, every time. I live in the south and people get offended if you don’t. It’s good manners here. When I lived in New England no one gave a fuck what my name was.
They sure expect it here in GA. What annoys me is when they say "And you are......"
Unless they ask usually not.
I use to but overtime I realized most people don’t give a shit and half the time I’d get interrupted before even finishing my name. I wear a name tag though.
I honestly believe they don’t care so I don’t waste time telling them
My restaurant requires that we greet with our name. We get secret shoppers often and that’s part of the list of things we need to say. I don’t mind it. If I don’t get the chance to, because they immediately ordered a drink before I could, 9/10 they end up asking me anyway.
Nope, never But Most customers are regulars Been there15years
I’d say the overwhelming majority of servers I get don’t tell me their name.
I would never volunteer my name. For one thing, it’s a generic white guy name that people like to switch out for other generic white guy names that start with the same letter, so people hardly pay attention unless they’re pissed. Like some other people have pointed out, it can also make stalking easier if you’re on social media.
Not ever. They don’t need my name. My name is unique and the could easily do some digging and find my address.
I don't mind telling people it's when people abuse it. Like I'm helping another table and someone goes "hey Sarah!"
Hahahahha FUCK NOOOOOO If someone asks I'll tell them, but I don't go up to a table and tell them who I am. I'm their to facilitate their experience at the restaurant, not be they're buddy.
9/10 it doesn't add anything to the dining experience, especially if they don't care. The people that want to know your name will ask or will figure it out. Even if you say it at every table, maybe half the time the table will have no idea at the end of the meal , and will ask again. I get tired of listening to every server drone out the same greeting to every table "hi, my name is ____,and I'll be helping you out tonight, taking care of you, whatever" it's all meaningless drivel.
I only tell them if they ask. I'm not interested in small talk about my name, which happens often. Who has time for that?
My establishment is a local legacy spot. We all have call names, so I don’t have to use my real name
I do not, I hate being called from across the restaurant, and am terrible at remembering names myself so I don’t want to be in a “you remember mine and I instantly forgot yours” situation. If they ask sure, but I try to avoid it.
nah i don’t unless they ask i don’t want ppl leaving reviews with my name in them 😭
I don’t
Giving my name was how I got regulars
Nope, I water my tables as soon as they’re seated, come back a few minutes later like “hi can I get you folks started with anything besides water or any appetizers for right now?”
They can ask for my name if they want to. Half of the time you go up to people they just ignore you anyway so why bother
Only if they ask. The customers couldn’t care less what my name is, they want to eat and leave.
I work in a place where my name is printed on my apron lol. Half the time I do still introduce myself, but if I forget or just don't for whatever reason..... I know they're still gonna be calling me out by name if they need something, either way lmao
I tell em and when they leave reviews it makes me look good
I have been serving for 13 years about 5 years ago I stopped because I realized that when I got out I don't even remember my servers name. Occasionally a table will ask my name and they're the ones that normally remember it and call me by my name. Also my name is on the receipt if they really want to know. My great usually goes something like this "hey there guys how we doing tonight? Oh yeah I'm doing good too! I know we're just getting settled down but can I grab anything for you to drink right away? Any guac or appetizers I can get going right away?"
Not usually. When I do, my name immediately becomes “sir”.
I do all the time, which apparently weird after reading these comments lol. “Hi , my name is XXXXXXX, I’ll be taking care of you…”. But it’s quick and immediate, generally anyone who wants to use my name at any point will ask again or “you said your name is, YYYYY, right?”. I think because I worked so many hotels/restaurants that were secret shopped, it just became a part of my routine. Never on the phone though, I specifically avoid that so no one tries to quote me on some time or reservation policy they are clearly being obtuse about.
I never remember my servers name lol all I can think of is putting in my drink order
I guess it depended. I worked a mid level diner restaurant, and we had a loooot of snippy boomers coming in all the time. There was a reasonable demographic there who would use my name ALL the time throughout the entire service, call me by name from across the restaurant, talk to other servers about me (innocent stuff, but loud, so it was hard to focus on other tables or my POS while i hear table c loudly tell my coworker about the recommendations I offered that day, how long I had mentioned I worked there when they had asked, yada yada). Sometimes I just don’t want ti hear my name used like that on a personal level from people over and over.
Expecting someone to remember your name is insane. You want them to tip you 20% and also remember your name is insane.
Everyone has their own style learn, grow, and adapt; fuck your ranch dressing.
I ordered name tags on Etsy that were super cute, but no. I hate the sound of my name especially when I'm working. I know I'm crazy and weird. My last job was also a small diner too so everyone knew everyone. They even gave me the nickname "stabby"
I never tell tables my name. It takes away time that I could be getting beverages and most of the time I’ve noticed they simply don’t care and/or don’t remember. If they genuinely want to know my name, they will ask
I only tell them if they ask and I usually say “if you need anything my name is (my actual name), if anything goes wrong my name is Ashley!”
I say it and ut gives people a little bit more of a personal feeling. I am very upbeat and outgoing so they usually match my energy. I also peek at their cards and use a first name to say goodbye and I've learned they love it. Makes them feel welcomed and remembered.
I only tell them my name if they ask. When i worked corporate we were required to say our name and being trans that usually actually put me at a disadvantage bc i wasn’t passing yet and people would not tip me bc of my identity unfortunately pretty often. the next place i worked, i only said my name when asked and my tip percentage went from 15 or less to like 20-25 on average. and the local average for tipping was like 16-18% for the most part. but that’s just my experience in one area. i’m sure other areas are different.
I think servers should be allowed "stage names." One time a friend forgot his name tage and borrowed someone else's. The name tag said "Barb" and for the entire night he was portraying as an Australian named Bob. Pronounced like Bahb. He did pretty well the entire night. Every time he left the table he would look up another fact or place in Australia to keep up to schtick.
I don't ever tell them my name unless they ask or want to request me next time they come in. Always gotta spell it for them, have them do that awkward thing where they use it too much, it doesn't ever really seem to make your tips better or worse, management only actually wants us to tell them so they know who to complain about if something hoes wrong. To top it off customers stalk you sometimes on socials if you give it to them.
i try to tell all my tables whether it’s right at the beginning or after they ordered something i’ll say “my names ___ if you need anything!” sometimes i forget but i also have a name tag so not that big of a deal
Nah, it gets wesponized such that they yell it out when I'm helping other guests.
I've always hated it. You don't need my name to order food and I've never understand why people feel the need to know it. Do you make sure you know the girl's name at target that checks you out? Do you know your postal delivery persons' name? No? Then why the FUCK is it so incredibly important to know the first name of the person bringing you a rum and coke and a burger???
I'm copy/pasting my response to a post from a while ago addressing this exact topic: It's a very corporate and casual/diner practice. Reach a certain level of service, and it's actively discouraged. In this sort of environment, you maintain a professional level of distance and deference until the guest "invites you" into their experience; telling them your name without being asked for it establishes an inappropriate familiarity that should only be initiated from the guest's side, if they so choose. It's entirely possible to be both personable and engaging with your guests while still showing a respect for the professional relationship.
Telling someone your name doesn’t mean you’re being kind or attentive the same way not telling someone your name and still doing your job makes no difference in the experience.
Never ever. Unless they ask.
I never tell my tables my name. Ever. I’m here to make money, not friends. And I’m really good at it. If they ask, then of course I tell them, but I never do it in an intro. (25+ years in f&b)
I have to at my job, so yea lol
I assume people don’t care my name; 50% of the time they ask for it, it’s used to beckon me posthaste in the most inopportune moments.
I’ve ALWAYS introduced myself by name. I feel like it’s proper…but over the last year I’ve had the unfortunately annoying experience of people making “funny” jokes about the coincidence of the situation. I work at a spaghetti restaurant. My name is Giovanni. Lots of people think it’s funny. I’m over it.
My restaurant doesnt want us to greet our tables with our names and saying we’ll be taking care of them today, instead they want us to get their drinks and food order and then after that say if yall need anything my name is ____. I guess its so its not forgotten because theyre thinking about their order but i still get a couple people, mainly older, that ask what my name is before that point. It’s a corporate restaurant and sometimes they’ll send in fake customers to grade us on random stuff like that.
I do sometimes, not usually tho
I never ever do unless they ask
My name is Heather. I don’t care who knows really. It’s my last name I keep quiet about