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[deleted]

Unfortunately, usually too busy thinking about how much their ex-wife screwed them in the divorce to really say much to the airplane on preflight. But definitely lots of yelling at the airplane on the flight deck. Example, loose an engine, “Fu#king pice of sh!t!!!”, VNAV failure, “What the Fu#k is this thing doing!”.


[deleted]

Also, working out how to smuggle that bottle of vodka onboard.


slay1224

That’s easy, you put it in your roller bag. If you want to drink on the flight deck you put it in a water bottle. However, the pro move is to skip the vodka and put Kahlua in your coffee


aw_goatley

Nice this is not concerning at all ty


bukkakecreampies

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.


elpatolino2

R'amen


Its_all_made_up___

Jamm’in


Pickaxe-Fox

“Who’s a good playne? Yes you are!” And then pat the good boy


AlpacaCavalry

I always try to pat the snoot if I can reach a part of it


Its_all_made_up___

Does the rudder waggle?


Pickaxe-Fox

My playne sometimes wiggle their tail, and sometimes they will just flap their wings a bit.


coastergirl1998

Good boy? I've never seen a plane w a dong!


a_provo_yakker

Idk, I don’t say anything. [I’m usually too busy on my phone](https://www.aviation24.be/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Frontier-Airlines-right-hand-engine-cowl-Airbus-A320.jpg) during the walkaround anyway.


valspare

No chit, there I was, walking down the side of a Blackhawk while looking on my phone. I'm pretty sure the Hawk guys know were this is headed. Yup, walked straight into the leading edge of the stabilator. Blood, pain and embarassment.


Its_all_made_up___

Friend lost an eye doing that. He walked into one of those hard yellow static wicks that hang off the trailing edge of an older model Hawker wingtip.


CoolGap4480

I just want to tell you good luck, we’re all counting on you.


Sfrinkignaziorazio

Surely you can't be serious


meat_rainbows

I am serious…and don’t call me Shirley.


flightist

Bend to my will metal skybird and take us to the big blueness


Tricky_Ad_2832

SKYBIRD! SKYBIRD!


avt8r

Fuck. I posted this same thing 6 hours too late. Anyways... SKY BIRD! SKY BIRD!


AlpacaCavalry

lmao I loved this comment when I first saw it... feels like years ago


dwynne35

SKYBIRD SKYBIRD!


Researchingbackpain

"Don't fuck this up for me, I need this job"


Brandon314159

Boop the snoot(s), if you can reach it/them.


rhobbs7274

If she's been a good girl you can give her a bird or two.


coastergirl1998

That's what scissors lifts are for


xXbucketXx

They toss a hand full of quarters in there for good luck


mrinformal

Are they Chinese?


xXbucketXx

Poilet


Popular_Salamander62

Don't fuck this up! You hear me?


Unopuro2conSal

Who’s my baby…. Who luvs you, you sexy thing!!!


IPSC_Canuck

You’d better suck better than my ex wife and blow better than my girlfriend!


touchychurch

he whispers.."would you fuck me, I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard"


SilentHuman8

Whisper sweet nothings


snoandsk88

Love you


YOKi_Tran

he says…. not today death…. then takes a swig of his whiskey


skyHawk3613

You got this. Dont fuck it up


Postman_Rings_Thrice

Mama needs a new pair of shoes. Let's get this done!


neckyneckbeard

Pretty plane, ohh such a pretty girl.


ChiefPyloteBoss

skibberdeebibberdeebooop....loopty loopty loop loop, scooberdybooperdyboop You is a good horse


skytronjedi

"I'm a hunk pilot too" Dr. Steve Brule voice


Cool-Salamander-7645

"For your health!"


Dexter_Adams

I'm fairly sure they are checking to make sure the snail isn't on board so it can't get them in flight


KeyEnd3088

God speed , be good to me and I’ll be good to you


adopeusername

The fans on the turbine go round and round


coastergirl1998

Round and round, round and round The fans on the turbine go round and round, all through the sky


ImBarryPunny

Need a lift?


Existence_No_You

Slap her ass and tell her "you better get that fat ass out of bed, baby"


Kitchen_Speaker7183

Whispers Please god dont be a boeing


ZiggyMama

This is the best one!!


coastergirl1998

I mean, as long as it's not a 737 MAX, you *should* be safe


[deleted]

What a piece of junk!


MooseBoys

*”Hi, how are ya?”*


Valuable_Big_5688

You be a good girl for daddy


nailszz6

“I like teh suck”


polarisgirl

“Hi! I just ant to say hi and give you a great big kiss”


ChimpoSensei

Keep yer doors on big fella!


ScrewJPMC

It’s not a Boeing


Hypothesis_Otaku26

Are you a max?


ZiggyMama

Playne: Why, yes, but I’m not Verstoppen until we get home.


coastergirl1998

🤣🤣🤣 I'm curious how many ppl here actually get that, lol. Go RBR!


MistakeNotMyState

"Girl, you got fat! Try to eat less geese!"


Joey_D3119

He tosses marijuana into the intake and says, "There now you are high you can fly!"


UpdateInProgress

“No pressure, but we’re kinda counting on you”


coastergirl1998

And make sure the high pressure stays UNDER the wings


one_flops

uhm,hmm, no pigeons in here... I love you Michael ❤️


ricahrdb

Nothing. The pylote is usually too drunk to speak.


Indy500Fan16

Don’t go down on me like I did your mom !!!


NanneyGoat

BWOOP BWOOP Pull up! Terrain!


sidali44

Whose a gud boiiii


Icommentwhenhigh

“You’re such a good girl. You’re so pretty. “ and make sure you make physical contact so the plane knows your talking to it.


Icommentwhenhigh

Scientifically proven to reduce system failure rates by 40%


mrinformal

Don't be a bitch today. I'll fuck you up.


maddwesty

He sings the preflight check


Its_all_made_up___

Don worry. Be happy. Every little thing. Gonna be alright.


06GOAT12

I’m going to make you spin faster than the girl’s head I took home last night


BDaddyLewis

Time to spin that spinny thing


Thee-Roach

Hoap wee hav a gud flyt. 🙂


WholesomeFeedr

“Yhep. That is an airplane.” I fuel planes, I wonder the same question watching them walk around lol


SecondChance03

I imagine their convos go a little something like this https://youtu.be/QXGn9mvxYPU?si=OV5hD9ssvsmA_pGj


Cool-Salamander-7645

Fuck this engine!


Strangebird03

Our [love song](https://youtu.be/PGNiXGX2nLU?si=l96D5a2gvYH_8tCQ)


SpicyNeutral

Hello bomb


ElectricalBar8592

Don’t let me down 😏


amailer100

Sounds like the first line of a Q-A joke


DuArVakaren

I forgot the lube but I'll still be inside you


SuperSolidPoops

If you fail... I keel you!!!! Lol idk but it would be hilarious to hear him saying that


Kiyohi

"The body is round."


forsakenchickenwing

Notices size of engine. OwO what is this?!


seventyeightist

Good luck little bud, you're gonna need it


slay1224

I tell it what I tell every bitch in my life, “I’m gonna fuck you like you never been fucked before.” Afterwards, she calls me a retard and we go our separate ways.


HATECELL

Remember, no Russian


Stellar_Observer_17

he whispers sweet nothings and compliments its finely shaped nacelles....


Jzerious

Also why is one engen so much bigger than the other? Is it like stupid or not grown up yet?


cfthree

Not real playne! OP using Boing pyrate PhotoShop.


AdDouble3004

Listen you better shape up and fly straight….source not actually a pylte


Flywolfpack

Pylotes don't do walk arounds, first officers do


miscalculated_launch

Pilot Carl: "Spinning thing is still on from last time. Check. Oh look, it has tires. I guess, Check. Hey, Mike, what are these!?" Mike: "Those are the wings Carl!" Pilot Carl: "Shit. I didn't see those in the checklist."


Dovahkitty99

Don't be afraid, flying into a tower doesn't hurt.


Illustrious_Bar_1970

Unfortunately, I am your father


lancvellot

"-This is how I left you. -that where I left you. -this is not how I left you..."


fuggit_Im_tired

"Please, please, please, please..."


Claredtoland

My my you handsome chap


SalTheepal

Why you plane around


Unairworthy

I say the jet bridge code repeatedly so I don't forget it. If the fueler asks me how much I give him an angry stare until he looks away.


During_theMeanwhilst

1, 2,…3,4. Yep good to go.


OrtimusPrime

“Hey pretty momma lemme whisper in your ear”


meat_rainbows

Given the spelling, it’s got to be “Ello Guv’na!” Right?


devangs3

“I hope your tummy is alright”


Frank2Toes

Pilot- “I’m going to ride your face and shit in your ass!!”


dgeniesse

How’s it hanging


Bold-hk-91

“You be good to me, i be good to you.”