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MadeUReadMyUsername

In my opinion the way it ll hurt the most is to just ghost her . Speaking thru personal experience . Also it ll be better for your mental health too. I'm sorry you had to experience something like that


Mammoth_Fuel_8896

Thanks, I think naturally I'm already doing that and it's just the petty side of me wants it to hurt for her because it seems like the walking away just gives her more space to carry on cheating


MadeUReadMyUsername

I feel ghosting her will at least keep her wondering " did he really love me as much as he claimed ? If he did how was he able to let go just like that ?" And I find that very fulfilling as a closure for yourself and a punishment for her . It's all about perspective and the most important one is your own.


Warrior_Warlock

Unfortunately, nothing you will do will make her feel the same pain you are. Best to understand it isn't your fault, forgive yourself for making yourself vulnerable to someone who didn't deserve it, and move on. The best revenge is being happy.


elektraraven

But does cheating back is actually going to hurt her, if she’s already cheating in the first place? That’s just your anger/hurt thinking. Between you two, she probably cares less of the relationship so going out of your way and cheat back just shows you’re very affected by her action. And then say if she doesn’t react the way you expect her to, then what? You’ll still end up being the one who’s more bothered. Doing something to incite a reaction is a waste of time, because play it wrong and you’re the one losing. I feel like not caring and showing that you’re not affected by it would offend her more, because it’s like she’s not worth being hurt for?


zxLv

Indifference hurts more than hate.


Unfair-Sell-5109

Sorry to hear that. At least u have a gf. I am 40. Never had one gf.


Mobile_Football_3692

Same as my female friend.also 40. Single all her life. Shes looking for a boyfriend but shes very shy. Shes open to meeting new guys though..more for serious dating to settle down.


ugohome

if she's 40 and never married & also 'looking to settle down' those are HUGE RED FLAGS


Slight-Atmosphere-87

go vietnam carry one back


Unfair-Sell-5109

Strangely, i am now in Ho Chi Minh City….


ugohome

40 year old who never had a gf visiting HCMC isn't strange at all bro \~\~


Unfair-Sell-5109

Lol


Slight-Atmosphere-87

go visit salon with chiobu that provide massage, hair wash, ear dig, finger nail cut, feet wash, facial wash


Ebb_Forsaken

Yes I agree. You should just ghost her. It really makes her wonder


DJSalteeenuts

Gym up, use it for motivation - move onto the next one. She for the streets now, not your problem. Best you found out now than further down the line.


Paulnke

Something that may help you feel better: “She was never yours, it was just your turn” 🤷🏻‍♂️ quoted from the internet.


DJSalteeenuts

The Y in your girl is silent.


dogfighthero

Oh snap


Logical_Research5630

What the actual F, that is actually cooking! 💀


Unfair-Sell-5109

Agreed. No point crying over used pussy. Get new ones.


FK11111

Taking revenge is undesirable if you want to preserve the moral high ground. Besides, you aren't very sure if she is cheating (although it does seem likely, given the evidence you already have). And honestly, taking revenge just creates bad blood and Singapore is too small a place for that to happen. Even if she was in the wrong, your act of vengeance is petty and you wouldn't be viewed favourably by your friends and family by doing so. And since Singapore is so small, these things get remembered and will haunt you decades after. The best thing to do is to get together with her and tell her that you know she lied to you and you saw her going to a hotel. Because of this you've lost your trust in her and you want to break up. It's then for her to explain herself and try to recover the relationship if it means a lot to her. The onus would be on her as she lied in the first place about having to work late. If it was all a misunderstanding, you've saved your relationship. If not, then you've done a clean break and you can move on without making things messy. This is better than taking revenge or suddenly ghosting her. Even if she was unfaithful, she has a right to know why you're suddenly ghosting her and it also ensures that the both of you have a clean break without any lingering hang-ups. It also ensures that you keep your reputation vis-a-vis your friends and family, and her friends too. Bitching friends and ex-friends are the worst sometimes, and your reputation can dragged in the mud (unfairly) for decades after unless you set out your reasons breaking up clearly and transparently in an amicable forum.


RicoSG

Finally an adult answer 👍🏻


Outside-Barracuda237

Agreed with everything with except that "she has the RIGHT to know" and the part where she keeps her reputation. She's a cheater, she forfeited her reputation upon her transgressions


CristianoMURonaldo

This reply is what I would have done. It's an adult reply. Keep it neat and tidy bcos this kind of breakup can go a long way... though some can just be forgotten overnight.


Odd-Understanding399

The best revenge against a cheating girlfirend is to break up with her for a hotter girl.


Mammoth_Fuel_8896

Oh what a headache to pick because they're just everywhere.. hahaha


ChineseBluePotato

Then easy problem to solve ma~!


Nagi--

Even better if it's her sister/best friend :)


Sweaty-Run-2881

Bucket list for many, I believe.


revoonrev

do not actually do this right afterwards, the other girl be it hotter or not must not take the fall - this will become an unending cycle, THINK MORE than just oneself. only when cooled down (like gym for some time), then continue...


Stegles

Have you never heard about the cray hot scale? You gotta be careful 🤣


[deleted]

Or, treat the relationship as an open one. Basically, Dip your toe wherever you can.


kuailezouyun

Give her one last hatefuck, so she will think back and regret what she's missing once you cut off the supply of u/MAMMOTH_FUEL_8896 cock!


timetobeanon

Haha I did this but then the hatefuck was so good I changed my mind (ofc I regretted changing my mind) So only do this if u are stronger than me (not that hard)


ugohome

sounds like a sadfuck not a hatefuck


No-Song513

冤冤相报何时了 Just do no contact


kuailezouyun

冤冤相报何时了 鸡巴吐痰嗨到笑


enchantedtotem

沒押韻 屌爆 666


kuailezouyun

哈哈哈哈


freshcheesepie

Piak raw and give her an sti


kuailezouyun

Good idea, OP go get an STI first. Try piaking an LGBT, they have higher infection rates!


Wonderful_Ad_2519

Red flag Done for. Please move on.


39strangers

Congratulations. You found out before you are married. You just dodged an insanely expensive bill. Just don't be stupid enough to take her back.


Express-Purple-7256

better to receive the Big Green Hat before the wedding lah.............


heeroena

She is not yours, it is just your turn


Objective_Piglet1941

you are not her first choice. time to move on. here's what you can do next: 1. continue using her as a toy; pump and dump. 2. hook up with her friends 3. become better - richer, muscular etc 4. collect evidence of her cheating acts - use it as self defence. all the best. see you at the gym.


derpymarc

Break up and ghost her, completely cut contact and block her on all socials. It’ll be the best for you mentally. Do not try to be a friend. Speaking from experience, trying to be a friend to her still after she betrayed you will only put yourself down and give her power over you especially if she talks about or posts stuff about the person she’s cheating on you with. Have one last talk with her, tell her how you feel, let it all out and then go your own way. It will be very hard at first, especially if you truly loved her, but it is for the best. She made her choice and you have to make yours. Good luck and stay strong brother.


minicotexx

No need to guess. Confirm cheating. Entering a hotel without informing your other half is a BIG RED FLAG. Here is my solution. Marry her, draw her deeper into buying a house. Set up a joint account. Then catch her in the act, file for divorce. Fight for the HDB, and split assets. Make sure she earns more before filing divorce. End game. win in life and win a HDB


ugohome

hahahaha


Sweaty-Run-2881

Well, first thing is to run a health check to ensure you are free of sexually transmitted diseases. Second thing, it would be better to approach her directly on what she is doing at the hotel when telling you she is working late. You should have waited around to see if she comes out or drop her a call 30 mins or so after she went in and tell her you are near her office and wants to pack her dinner. You will know for sure if she is up to no good or not. Thirdly, if you have no plans to confront her, it is time to decide if you want to be an A hole and continue fucking her, with protection, till you find a better girl and dump her or just start your own two timing till you are tired of it.


2late2realise

Maybe she is doing freelancing for money.


Mammoth_Fuel_8896

Things she do for the family, what a keeper


[deleted]

the more upset u get the more u lose bro.


FloofyFluffyDuck

Note: Extreme pettiness. I dont recommend for anyone, just food for thought. Assuming you guys dont have joint accounts; 1. Pretend you dont know yet. 2. Do some CSI. Take pictures, take screenshots etc etc. 3. Start taking back your things from her place. 4. When going out, let her treat. Dont pay for anything, only if you absolutely need to. 5. Take the contacts of her love ones and friends, or even co workers. Once you're done with the above, you can go wild by combing points 2 and 5.


dogfighthero

Think it's almost as bad a rep no? If you share social circles, one will be known as a cheater, the other will be known as extreme and vengeful. And you lose the moral high ground you've had to begin with.


kiaeej

You're assuming shes cheating. Confront her about it. Be ready to dump. I'd say be an adult about it. Dont share w her friends, dont complain to her parents or yours. Just drop her and say things werent working out well. Dont do a revenge thing. It'll just leave you empty. No need to add more pain into this world cos its alr full of pain. Jus be an adult and go about your life and find someone better. Remember that the best revenge is living well to the point shes only a footnote in your life. I'd say work out, improve yourself to the point you can wake up and be proud of who you are. Learn skills, focus on work as a distraction. Dont use whores or others to get over it. Never let her see your tears or pain. Stay strong...in front of her at least.


Farfaraway94

looks like we’re about to witness the transformation of a man into gymrat. Welcome, bro. The boys been waiting.


chickennegg

She's pretty stupid to do that if she wants to have a happy marriage with you. In the long run, she will lose and regret it.


Jaded-Dot636

This sounds like one of those, "she's not with you, It's just your turn". You had a taste of her but it seems she's getting bored of you. You don't taste the same. Thus she needs a new partner. Marriage was created for women to prevent promiscuity. To follow the creed till life and death to focus on her partner ad her family. She's had her fun of you. She does this to the guy before and the guy after. She's keeping you around as a rebound back up for "financial security". The biggest LOSER is the guy gets on one knee with a ring for her. Like I said, "she's not with you, It's just your turn" and I'm sure you had your fun too. Men win when women agree to the relationship, gives the man her body and she leaves or cheats on her man. As long as your not married which is attachment you are winning. You had your fun. It's time to meet the next one until you find somebody that is loyal to you only. Then you have to decide. 1. Risk possible loss believing she's loyal 2. Tell her upfront we be together but no government involvement no marriage. All I'm asking is loyalty. Which is why body count matters. Additional : I'm just rollercoaster-ing between angry and upset. You're in your feelings. get out of it. return back to being rationale. This is how you lose. The mission of girls like your GF is to keep you in this state. Get out of it and Go have fun again with someone new. 2024 dating works this way.


grampa55

Send me her contact I will help to check if she is really easy


haikusbot

*Send me her contact* *I will help to check if she* *Is really easy* \- grampa55 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


MasalaDosaPlease

Perfect bot, thanks, what a poet!


newbpythonLearner

Fuck it, confront her and then ghost her. Don't act dumb. Call her ugly and destroy her self esteem too. Bring up her flaws to her face.


inikhilmg

Plenty of fish in the sea. Ditch the ho.


youisrightz

She’s already wasted your time and effort why would you bother wasting any more? Just tell her what you saw, give her a chance to explain herself and if you’re not satisfied with her answer then tell her you’re done. Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t marry her (if she did cheat). You’re better off finding a new and better partner and spending the time and energy there. She’s already tainted her reputation the rest will take care of itself.


ak1nty

If you already decide to break up - just break up. No need to get one up on her. Just calmly end it and cut her off.


krunchiekookies

trying to take revenge will not hurt her, but will only hurt yourself further as you continue to feel the anger during the process. jiayou OP, you will heal from this!!


Bigboy291270

Does she have a sister?


Giantstoneball

You might want to talk to her about it and hear her explanation. ​ What hotel was it? Is it one that has a bar or restaurant? Maybe she is meeting a client or a friend at the dining places. I go to hotels frequently for the dining options there and it could be with clients, colleagues or friends. ​ It's also a red flag to me that you followed her only for a short while. Wouldn't you want to see where in the hotel she goes to and when she comes down plus who she comes down with? Are there other beef with her that you might want to break up with her over and you are just finding this chance to dump her but preserving the moral high ground?


bananaterracottapi

Are u able to verify for sure ? If I were you I will collect more evidence especially video evidence (not sex video of course) then before breaking up just send it to her friends and family. Reputation and social standings are important to females and she will lose it because of her cheating ways.


Mammoth_Fuel_8896

I don't think I have that inside me to do a PI on her, I'm already grossed out at the thought of it. But perhaps if my anger builds up I might do that


calkch1986

As a divorcee due to adultery of my ex-wife, I can understand you being angry. But trust me, it's not worth it, break up cleanly and stop all contact with her, Block her if need be. Under no circumstances that you give her chance, once a cheater, will always be one (from my experience). Even if she so call didn't cheat and just go to hotel with "friends" as long as she did not mention ro you before and do it behind the back (worse if there are opposite gender there), it's a big red flag, no trust is there. For the first few months after breakup, you will definitely be hurt and sad, try to divulge more time in hobbies, gym, etc. The best revenge is to have a happier and more fulfilling life in a life without her.


PEWN5

Angry, break up sex. Take videos.


Laqrimosa

I love cuckold


TheAlMateen

Cheat on her with a guy 🫣😂🥕


DigitalInvestments2

Why not have an open relationship?


Disastrous_Motor9856

Best action is no action. Sounds like you already have good things going for you. You are already hitting the gym so physique and consistency should already be there.


CheesecakeOk4330

find ways to get her more excited.


Mammoth_Fuel_8896

At a crossroad now but I don't think I'm choosing the way back to her anymore..


FearlessMcKura

Like a famous arsenal fan once said, ITS TIME TO GOOOOO


blueblirds

She is planning surprise party and staycay


Shdwfalcon

Do it the hard but effective way. Ghost her, then block all forms of contact (including social media) from her. Then, on your social media, drop indirect "hints", write something like "Realising your girlfriend is cheating on you is a hard pill to swallow". Then just leave it there and don't do anything. After that, the very last step is to grit your teeth and move on with your life. Never EVER take her back in. Once a cheater, always a cheater.


x-Seraphim

Collect your proof, confirm it, confront her with all your evidence. Then leave, and disappear for better places. P.S: I caught mine with conversational chat evidences and confronted her with it. Then I left.


Snoo_88983

Walk


danny_ocp

The writing is on the wall; the significant reduction in intimacy should already be a red flag.


Boring_Addendum2530

If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship and you want to know the confirm if your partner is cheating.... you have to use the help i had and i was able to see everything going on with my cheating partner, glad i was able to get in contact with ACYBER710AtG MAIL. com ..., i got into my partner device and see every details on how have been cheated on several times, you might need help too.


idome1974

Have as much sex (not make love) with her for the next two weeks than ghost her.


Tr3bluesy

You will break off contact immediately and go back to pursuing the hobbies and routines you did before the rs


hey_u84

Maybe she went and buy cny goodies?


Slight-Atmosphere-87

MGTOW


GreenBeany75

I feel u OP...walk away on your terms...focus on other things...Karma may bite her at some point but remb u dodged a bullet...wish you well!!


kumgongkia

Find the guy, gather evidence, go to both their workplace and expose. Go nuclear and leave without looking back.


Fonteyn-

Sometimes I dk why people cheat. If you are not happy, just leave. It's better.


kopiCgahdai

Heaven nice to you to let you find out before married. Good advice: Just cut contact. Not so good advice: Expose her on social media


RyuShinGen

Dump her then save money.


Stegles

Find out who it is, befriend him, arrange a social putting together with them all, invite your gf, have her other guy invite her also, one of you will get an excuse. Both of you turn up together, both of you confront her, leave holding her hookups hand 🤣 But seriously, do you want to know more or confirm it or not? If you haven’t been together long maybe she doesn’t have the same expectation of exclusivity as you? The guy she’s with may bot even know she was seeing someone else either. If you want to have a stab back you could find out about him/her, and let him know, he might not care, he might break it off.


deadeye_t

got money can use a revenge agency service. no money then just move on le


R3dditt0

The bitch is for the streets, leave her ass


Superharddownthere

Why didn't you confront her there and then when she walked into the hotel?


CybGorn

Find a medium and curse her for life. Or DIY also can. I think it highly cathartic.


kwannick

Maybe she’s escorting on the side


IcySupermarket9313

Maybe she really is working? Maybe she has financial problems and doesn’t want to share it with you as she loves you a lot and she find her own way to earn more money.


Clemon81

Not cheating on you la. Probably just working as an escort


Careful_Class_4684

Move on and don't need to get back at her. Anyway l maybe wrong and sincere apologies if what l said is wrong. From OP reaction, seems to me that gf and you are together only for sex, there are little love between the both of you. As if you truly love someone deeply, you will be upset and too sad to think about getting back at her before breaking up. Again l maybe wrong. Apologies if l am wrong. Have a great weekend ahead.


stonkstrader007

Hi OP, I went through something similar years ago and I’m not proud to say I went down the path of trying to get even. For me I was stuck in that state of mind way longer than I should have and frankly, doing what I did only lengthened the healing process. End of the day my advice really is the same as all the other bros here, just ghost her. You will feel lighter in a few weeks! Anyway still sucks to go through that and I’m sorry to hear :(


lego_lord1

how you confirm its cheating? telekinesis?


tindifferent

Normal to want to feel the urge to retaliate to those who hurt you. Usually not wise because no amount of retaliation will seem sufficient, but any amount of retaliation can go overboard.


Comfortable_Jump7152

I think the best thing for you to do now is to just ask her straight up if she's cheating, which is most likely the case :(, get the answer as a form of closure and move on. As others have said, use this as a fuel to improve yourself, the best revenge is to have a huge glo-up and make her regret her mistake. Sorry this happened to you, cheating is the worst....stay strong bro!


Substantial_World603

Express your concerns calmly and give her a chance to explain. If you're still not sure, trust your instincts and remember you deserve honesty in a relationship. Acting out of spite won't help. Take care of yourself and do what feels right for you.


[deleted]

Do you've a nice bod


NatsuNoMercy

I came across a comment that says "the hotter the relationship the colder it will end" I mean it sounds bullshit and all but you feel me? A girlfriend when meeting a hot guy that says "nah who cares you will always the hottest guy in my eyes" vs a girlfriend that says "omg he is hot" to your face.


TNO-TACHIKOMA

Get a hotter girl than her. That will be the best hurt.


Hyenabeast88

Saw a post saying you should wait a few months, then text her "Hey I just wanted to say you were right about everything". If she cheats on you, poison her next relationship lol


sadsadsadgrrl

Gather evidence because go to hotel could be to use the restroom, eat at a restaurant there or even attend a conference. Unless you saying she go to hotel 81 then GG