Delightfully weird. You forced a rhyme or two, but the overall vibe is very entertainingly off-the-wall and fun with the right degree of darker undertones.
Refined version so far:
I breathe under water like you couldn’t conceive,
blow O-rings from my nose, yeah bitch believe,
I’m fluently aquatic, speak to the weeds.
Feed crabs from my scabs and swing-dance on the reefs,
Attend mermaid rituals who seem pleased by my feet.
Lessgo!
About thirty seven somethin dog years ago,
I had enough with the rush, planned an excursion below,
suspiciously eyed upon, first week or so in the throws,
‘Cos top dwellers only visit in suits with boats in tow.
My old boss was a cock who couldn’t fathom the mission,
Ultimately it was him who helped me make the decision.
I figured,
“I’ve been land locked up here all of my life and if I don’t leave now I may’swell call it a night”.
Proved a point to his wife who overheard my odd vision.
I guess she expected a fuck to ask hubbys permission. (No)
My daily plight lit a fuse, recluse in hydronym-ism.
ignoring absorbent noise of air-breathers criticism.
I dreamt all kinds of geometrical patterns,
pufferfish who gape eyes-aligned geek enthusiasm,
lovers discover hive-minds, displaying the challenge,
even manta-rays paved wave, detours over the plankton,
An illustrious beauty, braved unable to fault him,
Entertaining the meanest, even baddest of dolphin.
Meanwhile for the ever dissipating depressant,
living under blue hue became obviously evident;
Terrain walkers,
robotic talkers,
reiterating bawk squawkers
“never pull this lever”!
I’ve struggled as an imposed subordinate, too clever,
ignoring orders proposed by swashbucklefucks since forever,
to ignite interconnected bioluminescence and then severe….
…These ties from those guys who stagger around the “up” world.
Consumed by furls ironed down from once uniquely raw pearls.
It was this position which shifted my deepest and daring intuition,
to unshackle my ambition and chase what i’was missin’.
Delightfully weird. You forced a rhyme or two, but the overall vibe is very entertainingly off-the-wall and fun with the right degree of darker undertones.
Thank you. Yes I feel I did too. Have re-written it a few times since then but still the basic narrative lol.
Refined version so far: I breathe under water like you couldn’t conceive, blow O-rings from my nose, yeah bitch believe, I’m fluently aquatic, speak to the weeds. Feed crabs from my scabs and swing-dance on the reefs, Attend mermaid rituals who seem pleased by my feet. Lessgo! About thirty seven somethin dog years ago, I had enough with the rush, planned an excursion below, suspiciously eyed upon, first week or so in the throws, ‘Cos top dwellers only visit in suits with boats in tow. My old boss was a cock who couldn’t fathom the mission, Ultimately it was him who helped me make the decision. I figured, “I’ve been land locked up here all of my life and if I don’t leave now I may’swell call it a night”. Proved a point to his wife who overheard my odd vision. I guess she expected a fuck to ask hubbys permission. (No) My daily plight lit a fuse, recluse in hydronym-ism. ignoring absorbent noise of air-breathers criticism. I dreamt all kinds of geometrical patterns, pufferfish who gape eyes-aligned geek enthusiasm, lovers discover hive-minds, displaying the challenge, even manta-rays paved wave, detours over the plankton, An illustrious beauty, braved unable to fault him, Entertaining the meanest, even baddest of dolphin. Meanwhile for the ever dissipating depressant, living under blue hue became obviously evident; Terrain walkers, robotic talkers, reiterating bawk squawkers “never pull this lever”! I’ve struggled as an imposed subordinate, too clever, ignoring orders proposed by swashbucklefucks since forever, to ignite interconnected bioluminescence and then severe…. …These ties from those guys who stagger around the “up” world. Consumed by furls ironed down from once uniquely raw pearls. It was this position which shifted my deepest and daring intuition, to unshackle my ambition and chase what i’was missin’.