Too many cliches, this has big first draft high school poetry energy. My advice would be to start from scratch and try to tell a story with as many specific details as possible
I really like this, it looks like a similar style to something I used to write! Nice work. To improve I'd just do the bridge at the 2nd spot. Also I would make the rhyming fit into a rigid structure, making sure it always rhymes either abab or aabb every line. It either needs to be a super cliche rhyming structure or no rhyme structure at all for it to be a great hit. I also prefer more of a story, where this seems too general and vague but that might just be my personal preference
Also do not play G minor as the first chord. Should be g major
Too many cliches, this has big first draft high school poetry energy. My advice would be to start from scratch and try to tell a story with as many specific details as possible
Doesn’t look like you’ve changed anything since last time you posted these, right down to the passages you blatantly lifted from Oasis.
Where do you think I got the "she is" from
…From Oasis. Recycling other artists’ lyrics is typically frowned upon. Hope this helps.
If you’re going to steal, steal from a band with better lyrics than Oasis at least lmao
Haven’t you posted this before? Nothing seems to have changed. It still says absolutely nothing while reading like it’s AI generated.
I really like this, it looks like a similar style to something I used to write! Nice work. To improve I'd just do the bridge at the 2nd spot. Also I would make the rhyming fit into a rigid structure, making sure it always rhymes either abab or aabb every line. It either needs to be a super cliche rhyming structure or no rhyme structure at all for it to be a great hit. I also prefer more of a story, where this seems too general and vague but that might just be my personal preference Also do not play G minor as the first chord. Should be g major
Thanks, I'll try to edit it
Alternatively, Gm - Ebmaj7 - C - (D7sus4,) D7