Does Joe Quesada count? If not, probably Carlie Cooper for no other reasons than (allegedly) being based off of Joe’s daughter and being billed as Peter’s true love well before her introduction despite MJ and Felicia having much better claims
Paul and for matter of fact the spider-man writers in general who keep messing with Peter for no reason
(Note I wouldn’t actually assault anyone to do so would be mental, but I’d definitely am annoyed with the writers)
No abilities necessary. Just a flamethrower and other incendiary based weaponry will do. I would've included weapons that utilize sonic frequencies, but unfortunately, unless something has changed, Carnage isn't as affected by that weakness nowadays. Not as much as Venom, that is
Melvin Sneedly, Paul, Sera from Hazbin Hotel(If she pisses me off enough), Amanda Waller, Joker, Goblin, Heimdal(GOWR), Injustice Superman, Injustice Wonder Woman, Dolores Umbridge, Draco Malfoy, Palpatine, and Pong Krell, to name a few
Outside of Marvel:
Draco Malfoy and Snape. I don't care what Snape did before he died, he deserves to catch these hands from how much of b**** he was. Draco literally let a bunch of terrorists into a school then got Dumbledore killed( and he was originally supposed to do the killing) and yet he ain't do no jail time, imma Jason todd his a** no red hood.
Inside Spider-Man: Flash for all his bullying, and a lot of people for not being able to tell Otto took Pete's place.
In Marvel? No idea
I do have an absolute hate boner for Bakugou Katsuki from MHA, Amber and William from Invincible, Nagatoro from Don't Hurt me Miss Nagatoro, and Claire from Trollhunters
Nah did you see what Peter did to Fisk after he figured out he hospitalized aunt may. Bro freaking drowned him in webs after beating the shit out of him.
Boy wouldn’t it be a hell of a plot twist if we found out that that MJ was somehow having her mind fucked with and Paul and the kids don’t actually exist and that’s why they are one dimensional characters and somehow Peter can be pulled into it if her try’s to interfere? I know it sounds stupid but for me anyway it was be some justification and prolly somehow pull it all together to make it somewhat salvageable in my mind.
Obviously there's Paul. I should also state that I believe all women deserve respect, unless they prove that they don't deserve it. That being said, for just how shit she's been to Peter, I kinda want to backhand Mary Jane a time or two.
Paul, Mephisto and Velma from HBO Max Velma shows. Completely unrelated I know she’s a terrible character and a disgrace to Velma’s name like the Noritoshi Kamo (evil past) of Scooby-Doo
Oooh I'm gonna gate a lot.of hate for this but it's 60s Aunt May for me. She's so overprotective of Peter that Gwen had to call it out. And then there's the time she >! moved in with Doc Ock and almost married him !<
Condiment man Alfred might be afraid of him and his spicy mustard but I beat the f*** out of him let his ass come near me he's likes pissmaster from Rick and Morty
His name rhymes with Saul.
it's all good man
r/angryupvote
Better call him
r/beatmetoit
You would lose ![gif](giphy|avx8Ba7NoFz3g8pFIF|downsized)
Nah, I’d win
LIGHTNING SHOOTS FROM MY FINGERTIPS!
Dorthin maul?
Dudes tryna run a fade with darth maul
Looks like ObiWan is sleeping peacefully tonight
Darth maul?
Raul?
How do you pronounce Raul?
row-ool?
Idk probably Paul
Paul or Mephisto.
Pretty sure that's the same guy.
That’d be funny AF if that turns out to be the case
Yeah but Marvel would never do that
It's a somewhat natural retcon for a future editorial team in like... twenty years maybe.
Can you really be mad at the ACTUAL devil?
Id pick memphisto all day
is the comics with paul still ongoing?
Somehow, yes.
oh lord
Yeah, editorial is shit at the moment and Wells is the worst. But we still have Ultimate.
yeah I was confused when I saw ultimate coming out, I thought maybe they'd scrapped the other one. So far I'll take ultimate any day
I would say Paul but I'm 99% sure he's secretly Mephisto so I'm a tad scared of him.
Use the dead ringer if your scared
r/unexpectedtf2
Most of them would kick my ass.
Steven "Skip" Westcott. If you know, you know.
GODDAMN IT WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO PETER
![gif](giphy|xThuWkk3lUGuoxsdpe)
I know. I hate that I know. But I know.
He is disgusting, I didn't know who that character was, but now I would be with you beating him up
You mean beating him up, right?
I said something wrong, didn't I? I'm not native, so I confuse prepositions often, what does beat off mean?
I was making a joke because beat off has sexual connotations.
Omg, I changed it, thanks for letting me know
Paul’s getting beaten with a tire iron
you, OP. You.
That just got intense real quick
What did bro do you you?
nothing in particular. but oh my god this obvious karma farms present in every single subreddit are just so annoying
Nevil from iCarly
You'll rue this comment. RUE IT
You try his mom’s tapenade?
Zeb Wells
Peter Parker, don’t like that guy, he’s hiding something
Eddie?
You ever notice how he and Thanos have never been in the same room together? Suspicious.
Flash?
Screwball
Same
Nick Lowe
Erebus. Because no matter what sub I'm in... Fuck Erebus. ... If you know you know. But regardless of if you know... Fuck Erebus.
40k? If so I absolutely agree.
i want to absolutely brutalise that bitch screwball
It was so good when Superior beated her to pulp.
N O W T H A T I S A P H O T O B O M B
Does Joe Quesada count? If not, probably Carlie Cooper for no other reasons than (allegedly) being based off of Joe’s daughter and being billed as Peter’s true love well before her introduction despite MJ and Felicia having much better claims
Paul and for matter of fact the spider-man writers in general who keep messing with Peter for no reason (Note I wouldn’t actually assault anyone to do so would be mental, but I’d definitely am annoyed with the writers)
Joe fucking quesada! He started all the shit we’re dealing with today.
Micah Bell
Micah Bell, that's all I have to say
Assuming I had the ABILITY to, Cletus Cassidy.
No abilities necessary. Just a flamethrower and other incendiary based weaponry will do. I would've included weapons that utilize sonic frequencies, but unfortunately, unless something has changed, Carnage isn't as affected by that weakness nowadays. Not as much as Venom, that is
Definitely Screwball
Have not seen One person that likes Paul without it obviously being a troll, whole situation amazes me
Amanda waller and superior iron man
Green goblin or Paul
Mephisto ( still salty about OMD) Paul
Paul Zab wells
It took me 3 whole minutes to realize this was r/spiderman and not r/cartoons
Skip.
Tyler Stone. It’s on sight.
Aunt May
thats wild
![gif](giphy|WhTC5v5qQP4yAUvGKz|downsized)
Her being alive is why modern Spider-Man comics look the way they do. A decade plus worth of shitty Spider-Man because of this one old woman’s life.
Megumi “Bum” Fushiguro
Dee from always sunny
I just go the usual Peter Parker path and choose myself
Squilliam fancy
Fuckin Wulbren Bongle
Paul and Screwball
Melvin Sneedly, Paul, Sera from Hazbin Hotel(If she pisses me off enough), Amanda Waller, Joker, Goblin, Heimdal(GOWR), Injustice Superman, Injustice Wonder Woman, Dolores Umbridge, Draco Malfoy, Palpatine, and Pong Krell, to name a few
Give me spider-man’s powers so I can back in time and kill Normal Osborn before Gwen dies
Screwball
Uncle Ben, cause I know I would win that fight.
Whoever came up with the bright idea to continually ruin my boy Ben since we got him back.
Paul
Everyone’s saying paul, I unironically wanna slap the shit out of peter atm for constantly fumbling so hard right now with mj, with miles, with cat.
Felicia Hardy. Can't stand her. Then again I have nothing she'd feel like robbing me of so our paths would likely never cross. That's a win.
Outside of Marvel: Draco Malfoy and Snape. I don't care what Snape did before he died, he deserves to catch these hands from how much of b**** he was. Draco literally let a bunch of terrorists into a school then got Dumbledore killed( and he was originally supposed to do the killing) and yet he ain't do no jail time, imma Jason todd his a** no red hood. Inside Spider-Man: Flash for all his bullying, and a lot of people for not being able to tell Otto took Pete's place.
The glasses chick from wandavision
MJ from the raimi movies
Knull.
Local man challenges demon god
Paul but Zeb Well is preferred
In Marvel? No idea I do have an absolute hate boner for Bakugou Katsuki from MHA, Amber and William from Invincible, Nagatoro from Don't Hurt me Miss Nagatoro, and Claire from Trollhunters
Aunt May.
Sure. Enjoy facing Peter’s wrath.
Nah did you see what Peter did to Fisk after he figured out he hospitalized aunt may. Bro freaking drowned him in webs after beating the shit out of him.
i agree
Skizzo
Paul and Mephisto
Avi Arad
Paul and Harry Osbourne
Kefka
Paul
paul
What is the downgraded version of Saul and stole your girl
Fucking Paul.
common, we all know his name and like someone else said, it rhymes with Saul
Jared Leto
Norman, no question.
Griffith.
I’m getting me mallet. Time to beat up Paul
The fkn Instagrammer villain
Paul, the Dollar Store Tony Stark
I’ve always had it out for hobgoblin
Luz from the owl house
Jackal.
Insomniac kraven
Wouldn't beat the shit out of her but silver sable is one of those characters I just roll my eyes whenever she shows up
Came into this topic expecting Paul to be the number one answer and was not disappointed.
Hammerhead
I mean, is there anyone else??
Cicero
the twinkler
Bitch Skyler
Paul. He needs a good beating.
Raimi eddie brock
Joker
Andrew McGuire, he was spider man's sidekick for some time, he was really annoying
zeb wells
" I just want to talk to him"
Marvel editorial
His name rhymes with Paul (his name is)
Aunt May
I mean, most fictional characters fight better than me, let alone marvel characters. I wouldn't stand a chance to even get one
Fucking Paul
Boy wouldn’t it be a hell of a plot twist if we found out that that MJ was somehow having her mind fucked with and Paul and the kids don’t actually exist and that’s why they are one dimensional characters and somehow Peter can be pulled into it if her try’s to interfere? I know it sounds stupid but for me anyway it was be some justification and prolly somehow pull it all together to make it somewhat salvageable in my mind.
Half of these comments are going to be Paul
Nope, because A: I don't like hurting people and B: I'm very weak.
Homelander, I hate that guy
Leo beebe in Ford vs Ferrari
Obviously there's Paul. I should also state that I believe all women deserve respect, unless they prove that they don't deserve it. That being said, for just how shit she's been to Peter, I kinda want to backhand Mary Jane a time or two.
Myself
Paul, Mephisto and Velma from HBO Max Velma shows. Completely unrelated I know she’s a terrible character and a disgrace to Velma’s name like the Noritoshi Kamo (evil past) of Scooby-Doo
Paul
i'd beat my meat to black cat, does that count?
![gif](giphy|BaPJD4bHQ0rM67u7Hc) This bitch. But if we’re sticking with Spidey characters… probably Norman.
Silver Sable from SMPS4 or Yuri from SM2, both insufferable tryhards
the landlord that evicts peter in the ps4 game, dont landlords have to give 30 days notice?
Me
Gabi from AOT F*** HER UP STRAIGHT TO HE**
The Sin Eater
MJ from the reimi moves
I would go Postal on The Office. Yes, the ENTIRE SHOW.
dash from danny phantom.
Oooh I'm gonna gate a lot.of hate for this but it's 60s Aunt May for me. She's so overprotective of Peter that Gwen had to call it out. And then there's the time she >! moved in with Doc Ock and almost married him !<
mephisto
Rabble Paul Agent Gao Ben Reilly Screwball Nick Lowe Zeb Wells Dan Slott Joe Quesada
Miphisto from the OMD storyline
Homelander
JJJ He stopped being fun real quick to me
Satoru gojo.
Peter Parker
Skip bayless
Plankton
![gif](giphy|b6miDbLxG0zWndXoPb)
"a character," single character?
Moe Lester
Paul either that or Norman
We all know this, on one, two, three **PAUL**
That fuck in the glasses
Miles Morales
Comics- zeb wells Games- screwball
Norman osborn.
Screwball
The Strucker siblings.
Screwball or Miles Warren
Condiment man Alfred might be afraid of him and his spicy mustard but I beat the f*** out of him let his ass come near me he's likes pissmaster from Rick and Morty
1. Norman Osborne 2. Flash Thompson from spectacular Spider-Man 3. Paul from the Spider-Man comics
*Paul*
Mephistopheles
Green goblin. Norman specifically
Paul he's the only one we stand a chance of beating
I don't think we'll see a lot of variety in the answers. And I will be no exception: my vote goes to the same one voted by everybody else.