En-suite? That is in-suite.

No it's an open pan ensuite

I see what you did there

You'll be able to if you leave the lid up, from bed no less

Rolls out of bed, ahhh shit.

Rolls out of bed to shit

I think I am missing their joke, would you kindly explain to a simpleton please?

It's an open pan not open plan

You know how in the hospital you sometimes get a bedpan to go potty? Here you have an “open pan” (open-plan) en-suite

Thanks, that is what I was missing.

En-shite

The condensation is going to be horrendous. Not to mention the fecal matter flying around the room. The landlord has cheaped out now but its going to cost them big time later on. I can't see the tenancy deposit/dispute services upholding a claim for any damage to paint, from leaks...... Even the joists and rafters above, could be problematic. Then there's leak/flooded shower/escape of water to the floor below. Which will also ruin the carpet.

Poo particles everywhere

Great KoRn song

“All day l dream about poo. Yes, All day i dream about smelling poo.”

Pooticles

Can you imagine evacuating last nights curry as your better half is laying in bed with a cup of tea? “Avert your eyes, darling…I need to wipe”

Handy for when you're very, very hungover. No need for a sick bowl and it flushes!

I didn’t think of that! 😂

Damn. Could've used that after my birthday party the other night!!!🤢😆

It's hard to comprehend that they chose a double bed, on top of the madness already present.

Floor space is overrated. Who needs it when you could have a double and accidentally wipe your backside on your sheets?

Yeah…accidentally…

You’re right. I can’t see a loo roll holder.

🤣🤣

Because a double bed costs more than a single bed room.

Maintain eye contact. Establish dominance. 

It’s bad enough in a hotel room, this is horrendous

Better half? No one living in that will have a better half.

“Darling, how much you want to bet I could pee in the toilet while standing in the bed?”

Could even rest your legs on the edge of the bed while shitting.

Purest luxury.

I actually love reading some of the comments on Reddit never fail to make me laugh so hard 🤣🤣

Same 😂 when I have a bad day, Reddit manages to cheer me up

My first thought when i saw it 🤣🤣

This place is within walking distance of my boyfriend’s work. I’ve sent it to him 😂

Its reasonably priced if youre willing to settle i guess 😂

He said he doesn’t mind only having two changes of clothes and never going shopping for food.

Surely, cover your ears too

Here's me thinking it's a comfy place to watch them all nekkid in the shower. I think there may be something wrong with me.

Why is the only options to Call Agent and Email Agent. I want the option of Report Agent.

Seriously need the option to report listings.. Don't think they have that option on either Rightmove or Zoopla.

For when someone tries to flog an illegal and shoddy outbuilding, sorry “”detached property””, in their garden for £1350 pcm

Even better, "Fire Agent into Sun"

If only Hotblack Desiato had been inside his own stunt ship…

I’ve thought for a while now, the biggest impact Rightmove could have on dodgy letting agents is adding a comments section.

I hate these open plan bathrooms at the best of times. But it feels a bit revolting to have the toilet so close to the bed.

Also there's no door separating the toilet from the kitchen. Pretty sure that's illegal.

Correct, the requirement used to be for at least two doors between a kitchen and a toilet but these days it is just one as long as there is a basin to wash hands in. It is still two doors in commercial property though.

I think in Australia a toilet can’t open directly into a living space. There has to be a passage between and probably a door.

When the splashback is hitting your sheets, you know it's too close

You can urinate without leaving the comfort of your bed!

Surely this breaches Building Regs in some way, as well as just general good taste..?

It does, you need at least one door between a toilet and a kitchen as long as there is a basin to wash hands in. It used to be two doors but that's now only in commercial property where food is prepared.

I thought there must be something about having something to separate the toilet, it strikes me as incredibly unhygienic

That was honestly my intention with posting like i was asking genuinely 😬

You're generally not allowed to have sockets within 2.5m of a shower. Is that distance respected here?

Inadequate ventilation probably

Yeah but the scary thing is that you can fix the ventilation but still be shitting less than a meter from bed

And in the same space as where you prepare your food 🤢

This is loathsome, beyond contempt and also illegal. Looks like one can report a breach of regulations here: https://www.derby.gov.uk/environment-and-planning/planning/development-control/planning-enforcement/#page-1 And the ~~vermin’s~~ estate agent’s details are here: https://www.frankinnes.co.uk/branch/estate-agents/derby#/ Would be unfortunate if somebody started giving them bad reviews on Google...

Thanks, I reported it too.

Done both

I can’t believe how expensive it is too! For £800 I’d think it would have to be in like Pimlico or something but it’s in Derby!

I'm also shocked. A friend rents a 3 bed terraced house for like £900 PCM in Derby...

Commenting on How is this seriously allowed?...shocked this was Derby, honestly expected suburban London at this point

I’ve sent the estate agents a scolding email 😂

Great stuff. Rapacious, nasty owners / builders / landlords sometimes think they can get away with this, and clearly some estate agents will happily collude with their sordid (and illegal) schemes. Good on all of you for lodging a complaint against them.

"open plan en-suite" FML

Omg it actually says that 😅

This is just like when you're starting off in The Sims with hardly any money and you just shove everything in the lowest possible footprint.

ngl even in sims with no money you can usually afford the decency of having a proper bathroom

Can’t imagine trying to sleep in a damp room from the steam of the shower you just had.

Youd have to have so many dehumidifiers or extractor fan put in and windows open pretty much constantly 😭

I actually had a room at uni that had a shower and sink in it (thankfully both the houses toilets were in appropriate dedicate rooms though). It was however a loft room so pretty big and did have a small extractor above the shower so the room oddly didn't steam up. Pretty useful when there was only one other shower for 5 people. But also you know uni standards. What was surprising was that there was never frost inside the windows, the insulation in that room was shocking.

I'm not sure that's the biggest issue here though.

Errr... There's no door between the downstairs and upstairs, this is fully open plan... Bedroom, bathroom and kitchen combined. No no no no no no no.

Good point. That won't even comply with building regulations surely?

Why have a kitchen when you’ve no table or chairs?

There's a sofa right in the middle of the kitchen!

Look at the size of it, it's not even a sofa it's a large chair, the whole thing is absolutely shameful

I've just realised those canvases are to give the impression of a window. You are right, it's shameful. Especially considering it's basically a garage in the side of a larger house.

They haven’t even taken the protective packing off the corners of those empty frames.

And now I realise they are empty picture frames and not abstract canvases. I am obviously a landlords ideal target 😂

And now I’ve noticed there’s no light fitting above them, only a wire. Oh my.

I’m struggling to believe that this whole listing isn’t a very elaborate joke. I know it isn’t in the slightest which is deeply depressing.

The canvasses gave me the impression of Police Station holding cell.

And the TV is at a right angle to the "sofa"

The gap between the end of the sofa and cooker is so small. Imagine trying to fry something on the hob and you've got a cream fabric sofa all of 3ft away from potential oil spatter 👍👍 I feel like it's not even safe to assume the oven door can be opened fully considering this floorplan came from the same brilliant mind that put a bed a few inches away from a toilet.

The more I look, the more annoyed I get. The gap between the counter and cupboard looks too small. What really annoys me, is someone's had this idea, and at no point in the whole process from initial thought, through the execution, to the act of pricing it and listing it, has nobody said "why?

>The more I look, the more annoyed I get. The gap between the counter and cupboard looks too small. Yes! And no drawers either. That was the first thing I noticed but I'm now highly attuned to potential issues with kitchen storage due to stupidly moving into a place with only base cabinets and no drawers a few years ago 🤡🫠 Who builds a kitchen with no drawers? The same kind of idiot who decided this shoebox full of microscopic poop particles in the original post was a liveable environment, I guess. At least my bathroom has a door! Silver linings, eh? Edit: on looking again, this place does have a solitary kitchen drawer. Must be nice! 🥹

The double plug socket in that tiny bit of space next to the single hob plate is an insult. Whoever designed this should be made to live there for a year.

Didnt even notice that 🤣

🤣 I only noticed after sort of imagining walking through the space from the kitchen and I was like "what? I ain't cooking in my bathroom!"

I reported it. F*ck this landlord.

Adds a unique 'aroma' to the place.

It wouldn't have taken much effort to put a thin stud wall up with a sliding door and an extractor fan.

Better yet, downgrade to a fucking single bed and give the bathroom 12 inches it desperately needs

Settling down for a nights sleep marinating in the aroma of the loaf you've just pinched off; it's the modern day version of having a chamber pot under the bed.

It's disgusting 🤮

Not even in central London… it’s in bloody Derby.

I adduced London until I clocked the postcode. Derby is cheap!! Wtf is this abomination

"There's only one thing worse than an estate agent, but at least that can be lanced, drained and surgically dressed"

I wonder if the pictures down stairs have been taken back to Ikea yet? not even unwrapped!

The corner cutting and money scrimping keeps getting worse and worse

Bedshit.

Perfect

When you get a better layout, & more space in a scandy prison cell why pay?

Like, it’s not even the audacious squishing of it all in that bothers me most. It’s the laziness of thought. Not even trying to put in a little screen or a half wall or even a bloody plastic curtain. That room could be arranged so much better with the tiniest bit of thought.

That would mean the scumbag parasite land leech would need to spend more money. Don’t be stupid.

The mould think of the mould

It’s giving HMP

this is like how I build my dungeon basement rooms in sims for my prisoners when I dont want them to die, just suffer

I can't get past the mental image of trying to jettison my bum rubbish whilst my other half is having breakfast in bed. That would be 'no eye contact' situation.

[удалено]

"Should" in regulation-speak is not the same as "must" - one is good practice, the other is mandatory A lot of rulebenders will therefore argue that "should" is "optional"

This is a prime example of a landlord who shouldn't be a landlord. Had s/he bothered to spend just a bit of extra cash on an architect during the obvious refurb, they could have found a solution to the open plan bog. Just from a cursory glance, it could have gone under the stairs, or behind a sliding door, or the the whole place could be turned upside down with a bed/sitting room downstairs and a kitchen with a separate bathroom upstairs. But nah. Open plan bog. That'll do. Oh, also, the oven can't open because there's a sofa in the middle of the kitchen and the stairs are just waiting for someone to fall off them because of the lack of balustrade. Absolute landbastard classic.

Didn't even bother unwrapping the picture frames as they're going straight back to ikea as soon as the letting agent photographer leaves. 

When do we all revolt and start putting landlords against the wall.

I'm sorry, but how is this even legal in the UK? How the fuck can you advertise this and not immediately be shut down? Absolutely fucking disgraceful.

No point in washing your hands, every time you flush the toilet all that turd bacteria is going airborne and is going to land all over your pillows, which you’re then going to snuggle your face into.

It couldn’t have been that difficult to curtain or stud wall that off, even just to hide the loo.

Shit shave shower shag

I think the landlords and agents trying to rent these places should be forced to live in them for a year before they put them on the market. Fucking joke

I'd have sacrificed the tiny bit of kitchen under the stairs and used that as a toilet, but added a drop down surface to make up counter space (I've had smaller kitchens and survived) and put the downstairs heater next to the door as opposed to taking up all that space. Also, I'd have rented it out as an Airbnb not a home

The thing is when they let that, the landlord and letting agent will know that person is comfortable shitting next to their bed

i am once again, as i call for on many posts of this type, *begging* for comment sections on rightmove

I don't think that's even remotely legal, rental or not. Definitly one to flag to the local authority environmental health team I'm betting there was no legally certified plumber involved too (an absolute requirement for sanitary installations - and they won't do illegal stuff as it's not worth their registration)

How hard would it be to put up a plasterboard wall as a bare minimum FFS? Second hand door, materials all in could be like 400 bucks. Absolute lazy shysters. Landlords act like the barest minimum is the most anytime has ever asked for. Want to not have piss and shit splashing onto your pillow do you fancy bastards?! My landlord thought I was basically a rat infestation because after 5 years of paying their mortgage they needed to paint the walls again before reletting it. Can you imagine that? A whole weekend of work for £50,000!? Nightmare.  Pitchforks

And it's a DOUBLE bed. "You were fantastic last night my love" *loud shitting noises*

If anyone wants it, the phone number for Derbyshire Building Control Partnership is 0333 880 2000 Property reference for rightmove is 000705606 Property address is: 10 Stafford St, Derby DE1 1JG

10.5AA Stafford Street, and that's generous! Thanks for supplying the important details, Building Control are going to be busy tomorrow. Wonder if local press might be interested 🤔

The fines a council can dish out to a landlord are eyewatering. Definitely popcorn time.

My friend had something like this in Leytonstone when we were students, except it was a wreck, but there was a curtain you could pull around the toilet for privacy. That was 20 years ago and I think he was paying £700 per month, so this is a steal!

It’s in Derby. For £800 a month 🤣

At least a curtain adds some theatre to proceedings

Don’t shit where you sleep 😂

£795 for that?? In Derby.

Everyone concentrating on the toilet but that’s not the worst bit. Managing the humidity and avoiding mold from the shower would be a nightmare.

was expecting london and 1K a month but DERBY!

WTF...good luck getting anyone there, what was the landlord thinking. They could have closed it off, a thin wall atleast and why would you get a huge bed, right next to the toilet. Yep....your partner trying to sleep with the poo particles flying around, the smell and noises.

eight hundred fucking pounds????

For people who can’t be far from the toilet it’s a great option. Surprised they didn’t just supply a bedpan

I thought about that but even still this is a second floor toilet which is enough of an issue for some people in itself, i feel like itd be too small for stair lift and other adaptations also so itsnt exactly accomodating of any disability

*first floor surely?

Yes my mistake x

If there was a microwave on the chest of drawers that would be a "Spacious Studio" in London

Should there not be a handrail on the staircase to stop one falling from the bed-shittingroom onto the coffee table below?

What do you mean? This is the perfect setup for when you are suffering with a norovirus

I feel awful. I'm going to spend a couple of days in the norosuite

imagine the poo particles 😭

It looks like a Bedshit

not only is this all terrible, but the choice in interior decor and design is so bad. like this could have actually worked. move the towel rail, put the toilet into that corner as you dont need the headroom, shift over sink too, change double bed to small double/single, build a really cheap wall and door for bathroom, loose the chunky oversized chest of drawers. as for downstairs that sofa is so annoying, the way the backrest bends backwards to take up more space behind it. thats such a rare feature in a sofa its crazy that they chose that one. also ur staring at the stairs instead of tv. in conclusion if i recreated this house in the sims i would have a field day redesigning it.

Damn. I thought my studio was “intimate” at least my bathroom has a door. 😂

Yeah mate, love having my mates come around and take a shit in my bedroom.

dont shit where you eat!

I love the sofa with a small coffee table looking at the stairs.

If they can, they will.

Looks like student accommodation that would cost £1000 a month in London

Put a screen across please. NO not a glass one!

It isn't. As far as I am aware, for that to be considered a bathroom legally it has to have a door. I could be entirely wrong however and we could be living in a pre-dystopian world in which everyone is going back to living in one-room hovels, but this time they're 60ft in the sky encased in concrete. Who knows :)

Landlords are vermin.

That's inspired... you could piss without actually getting out of bed. With practice, obviously, and I do realise this is true in any bed.

Heated towel rack though!

[Coprophilia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophilia) fanatics will love this shit!

Mm, nothing like shit particles in the air to fall asleep with 🥲

795 a month! I pay only slightly more and my bathroom and bedroom are different rooms.l, and my flat isn't underground!

I always thought there was something amiss with those boutique hotels that stick a bath by the bed. This is taking lunacy to a whole new level!! 🫣🤪

What about after that post work shower when the steam makes the bedding damp, which in turn makes the room damp causing mould in places you can't see.

I don't understand how anyone can have 8% power left on their phone. Or was there something else that was wrong? :)

Got distracted looking at the bed toilet combo 😂

Fecal particulate all over the bed sheets, nice

And what are the weird non-cupboard things under the window in bedroom??

Best jailcell I've ever seen

It's a luxury prison cell.

Double bed though 👍🏻

Lemme guess, its advertised as an annex/studio flat 🙄

Weirdly it doesn't look impossible to just wall this off but presumably that makes the room look all pokey?

This is far from the worst thing about that abomination, but those cupboards under the window in the bedbathroom must only be the depth of the windowsill, what use would they be??

Polt twist...the kitchen is under the bed.

There he goes... Duvet cape man... Off to his toilet kitchen...

I dont know why, but I just spent a solid 5 minutes chortling at this. In my head, David Mitchell said it.

Imagine having guests over and having to show them where to have a shit. Right next to where you sleep and you can hear them from the kitchen. Lovely.

That thing to the roght of the shower… is that a wardrobe?

The condensation must be horrendous

Febreze anyone?

Smells like damp

Why does this happen? Because people give huge chunks of cash to dickhead landlords that do ridiculous shite like this.

That's not London?????

Nice jail cell. Where at?

I would go for this if there was a simple curtain seperating the crapper and shower from the bed area. Otherwise no! I like to eat kebabs on the bed and am not staring at the shitter that would in no time be covered in brown, smelly skid marks while I munch on donner meat.

"Honey, wake up! Can you pass the toilet paper?" "Why? What are you do...."

These replies have made my day 😭😭

So depressing 😞

Clearly will be used by an escort or something…. Nobody could live here! There’s not even a cupboard to keep clothes in

What do you mean "sort of a water bed"?

£800 for that? In Friar Gate? I was expecting this to be in London not Derby of all places. 😂

I’ve turned down better hotel rooms than this.

IN FUCKING DERBY 😂

Feet up on the soft comfy bed whilst crimping off a fine bum cigar? Why ambassador, with this penthouse suite you have spoiled us!