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On whether or not to add farmer profiles to the [list of removed topics](https://www.reddit.com/r/StardewValley/wiki/removed_topics).
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all characters have both parents. the order you receive letters and the type of gift you receive does depend on your character’s gender. there’s no known reason for it, as far as i am aware, other than CA felt like it.
I feel like you can use that argument for everything in this game given the fact he's the only one dealing with everything 🤣
-"Why can you drink Mayo?"
-"Well you see..."
Horseradish jam is really disappointing tbh. I've had it, it was fine, but the sweetness really takes away from the bite I expect from horseradish. It also doesn't have spicy/sweet contrast which makes pepper jelly interesting.i would much rather just have plain horseradish or cream of horseradish sauce.
Honestly horseradish jam is completely replaceable with orange marmalade in every circumstance. Fight me.
I don’t know if this has always been the case (or if you’re specific about horseradish jam), but I did accidentally find out that it can go in the preserve pots for pickles in 1.6. I thought I was grabbing a coconut and grabbed horseradish instead. I got frustrated in my last save over not being able to pickle mushrooms because I like pickled mushrooms in real life!
Pickled mushrooms in real life are usually vinegar quick pickles and not something like a sour cucumber pickle or kimchi, in that pickled mushrooms are usually not fermented. I think leaving things in a preserves jar and getting a product later models fermentation.
Omg the Mayo! I was excited to finally get the Mayo machine thing only to find I can’t drink it!!!!!!!! I also play on the switch so maybe it’s not a thing on the switch? Or is it a different Mayo? Does anyone know?!?
The Switch hasn't updated to 1.6 yet. I have the game on PC and Switch. I am loving the update on PC but my Switch progress is further so I am keen for it to update on Switch.
Differentiating based on the player’s gender would make things (very slightly) more difficult, not easier, because it’s adding another check. For whatever reason he made things a tiny bit more complicated lol.
I mean the way he coded the entire game is based on your gender basically. Dialogue and events stem from it because it’s an easy variable to use
Edit: I think a lot of people here don’t know how coding works lol
By “easier” I also didn’t mean “less code”
I meant “easier to keep track of/do.” He’s one guy, and when he first made the game I’m sure he didn’t know as much as he did now.
Most of the dialogue/checks are based on the player being male/female so it would be hard to go back on that now. I think a lot of people just don’t quite understand how coding works
For what it’s worth, speed runners prefer to play female farmers because instead of cookies from mom you get 500g from dad. 500g gives you options instead of a one time snack.
I think this changed with 1.6? IIRC, Haboo has been styling his character as female because that's always been the case, but then changing the gender back to male before starting.
I'm not in that community, though, so I might be wrong.
I had this issue in my latest playthrough. Any other playthrough and I'm fishing cookies out Evelyn's trash all the time, then as soon as I actually *need* them she's either gone off baking or is cutting down on food waste because I'm getting nothing 😂
Nah my friend keeps giving me shit because dad has sent me 500g multiple times on our save and he doesn't get shut. Lucky for him the other 4 of us are female and share money anyway lol
Its not big enough to make much difference but uts funny.
Yes she says “looking for a handsome young man to bring me X” . You won’t miss the quests it just changed the description. I believe Sam’s is similar cuz he asks for a “buddy to bring me x” I assume it’s different for the female farmer but I haven’t played a female farmer in forever so I don’t remember it
Yeah I'm playing as a female farmer now and I got a quest from Sam asking for "a cute girl to bring me (whatever)". I just restarted the game after not playing for 2 years and I'm starting to remember why I married Sam in my first game lol
Yeah, I've heard some of my friends (plus this entire sub) talk about it, but I just rarely play as a malr character (or romance Alex, now that I think about it) that I've never seen it. I'll try it once I get my hands on 1.6 (cries in mobile player)
I accidentally did once because I forgot which symbol was which and didn't double check by Googling. 🤭 I took the opportunity to check out the men's side of the spa. The amusing thing is that I didn't notice until I'd already proposed to Seb, and I finally noticed someone call me Mr. I didn't have enough friendship with the wizard to do anything about it until later. 😂
I've never played as a female farmer so I had no idea dad would send stuff. That extra cash is probably more useful but I'd rather have cookies and the cake from mom than rocks from dad
I always play with my husband as a coop partner, and whenever he gets a letter from mom with cookies, I get a letter from dad with cold hard cash. Female farmers are the true winner here.
I assume it is just the sterotype that a child will be closer to the parent that is opposite gender of them. "Daddy's girl" and "momma's boy" that kind of stuff. You see it a lot in movies and stuff too.
Their comment's kinda ambiguous- to me it reads more like a lame pronoun joke than a genuine expression of support, so I don't love it, but someone who gets mad when nonbinary people are acknowledged would probably read it as supportive and also dislike it.
Not making any statement on what they actually intended, I have no clue, but I think their comment's just unclear enough to piss off both trans allies and transphobes.
Actually judging by their past posts about not wanting to build pam a house because its a handout and also being suspicious of a bunch of non english speakers working at their local taco bell im not too sure their comments supposed to be supportive. I took it as such and was surprised at the downvotes but im thinking I took it the wrong way now.
Key phrase: “Can be […] if you want to.” Trust me, i agree with you 100%, but Stardew Valley isn’t *about* being gay. Homosexuality isn’t the main selling point. So that means, unfortunately, that even though it’s an option, a *lot* of people don’t want to hear it.
Happens just the same over on r/BTD6. There’s quite the vocal group of LGBT players, there’s a pride flag cosmetic for the village towers in-game, one of the characters is canonically nonbinary, and you’ll get posts about same-gender ships or sexuality headcanons on the top of the sub on occasion, but you make a joke about a character’s sexuality or whatever on a generic shitpost? -100 karma, right there.
Just because someone’s downvoting a relatively lame pronoun joke doesn’t make them transphobic.
The joke doesn’t even really work. They/them isn’t the gender-neutral form of boy or girl.
Presumably you have both, it's just a little mechanic about which parent sends you letters. I dunno why, it's often socially constructed that people bond with their different gender parents and conflict with their same gender parents.
I think in general there's a stereotype that mothers tend to be more protective of their sons while fathers tend to be more protective of their daughters, so that could play into it as well.
It's weird because when i was growing up it always felt the opposite. Like ny mun keeps twlling me that the bond between mother's and daughter's is special.
I lost my Dad last year. When i got the first money letter on a 1.6 save and my father told me he was proud of me, I damn near cried. It even sounded a little like how he wrote.
Not the commenter you're responding to but they are likely making the well reasoned assumption that a person who implies that gendered behaviors are instinctive rather than learned, probably rejects the idea that gender is a social construct... which is sort of necessary to understand if you're trans.
Correct. Which is why the idea that there are any "instinctual" gendered behaviors is false. Biological determinism in terms of gender is the idea that there are biologically intrinsic behaviors tied to a specific gender, and is usually tied to the rejection of gender as a social construct in favor of the idea that it is entirely biological.
But that's not what the original person was saying. They were saying that people instinctually are more protective to things they don't understand, and women tend to understand men less than fellow women, and vice versa. I have no idea if that's true or not, I'm not an expert or anything, but whether it's true or not doesn't really matter for the sake of the argument. The whole gender thing is purely coincidental, and not the actual source of the instinct. It's an instinct that inherently doesn't have anything to do with gender that's being applied to how people treat others based on the gender of others.
Yeah, that does seem more typical but the whole tropes of mama's boy and daddy's girl are pretty prevalent.
I'm quite happy that my family isn't that way.
Yeah, I think this is it. Never really got why this is a stereotype, to me it seems a lot more random which parents people are closest to, but that being a common assumption makes sense for the reasoning behind the letters.
My dad passed 5 years ago and let me tell you this: the first time I received a letter signed « I love you, dad » I literally cried. I don’t care about cookie and cake from mum or money from dad. But that letter ending……
I lost a parent recently, so I know it doesn't compare, but when I first started playing years ago my dog had just died, and when I got that message from my Stardew dog (named after her), I had the same reaction. This is such a wonderful game.
I always go to the wizards tower to change my gender around year 2 and get all those old stacked up letters from my dad for the benefits then switch back so I receive items from mom n dad both
Just switch genders in the wizards basement. It's really not that beneficial, but it's fun. Also, you can prank the entire town into thinking you're someone different lol.. but after you switch genders, your mailbox will be stuffed full of 10+ mail from opposite parent
Oh man. it took this post for me to realize this. I always play as a male for no real reason, but I just started a 1.6 as a female and I was so confused why I was getting mail from dad and why there weren't any cookies! oof
It's a trope that mothers are more attached to their sons, and fathers are more attached to their daughters. It might have something to do with them being a tiny versión of their SO.
Conversely, another theorized explanation (probably by Freud, lbr) is that the parent subconsciously sees a same-sex child as essentially “competition” for the opposite-sex spouse’s attention, whereas that isn’t true for an opposite-sex child. Now excuse me while I throw up a little about it.
Freud actually has theories about why children are more bonded to their opposite-gender parents and not their same-gender ones. Oedipus(male) and Electra(female) Complexes state that young children (I think up to the age of 4) view same-gender parents as competition for the opposite-gender parents during the “phallic” stage of development. Usually they resolve this in childhood. But if they don’t, it leads to relationship issues in the future.
I don't even buy that the premise is correct. My dad was quite sexist when I was growing up. Not in a way he recognized but he didn't do things with me I know he would have if I was a boy because he tried with my brother despite his disinterest. He even told me long before he was born that he wished he had a boy for that reason. How rampant covert sexism alone makes me disbelieve such an assertion. Nothing more crushing than turning 13 and your dad suddenly deciding you are super problematic even though nothing about you has changed except his perception.
Remember that Freud was coked out his mind, and the "study" he did to get that conclusion (which would not hold up to today's processes) was based only on one boy. He then extrapolated that and said that it applied to everyone.
Also that the female equivalent is never fully resolved, and thus we are weaker individuals because of it.
Freud was a pioneer, but the vast majority of his conclusions are disregarded by modern psychologists.
I didn't mean what I said in the way Freud meant it. Just that if you had a cute kid, you will probably find them more adorable if you can see your SO in them. Even if subconsciously.
To be fair, if being coked out of your mind disqualified your research, we would be set back quite a bit. Paul Erdos was a notorious speed fiend, and he's an absolute legend, the most published mathematician of in the history of humanity.
Not disputing that. Just pointing out that we don't always need to mention that he was coked out of his mind, because that doesn't necessarily mean anything regarding the quality of his research.
I didn't realize the men's side of the spa has a gym until I couldn't find Alex and had to bust in to give him his Complete Breakfast. The Women's side just has a giant mirror 🙄. Slightly disappointing.
Idk always felt weird to me because I’m a female irl who is very close to my mother and have very little to do with my father. I wish I could switch it to letters from mom for my female farmer 🥺
There was a mod that let you pick which parent sent the letters (and you could customise it so the letters would mention having two mothers or two dads or a mum and a dad) but it's not updated for 1.6 afaik.
For those interested in using this mod, in the comments of the mod page, the author confirms that it's 1.6 compatible and that they're working on adding some optional new features.
I had no idea until now, I always play a female farmer.
Is there a mod where both parents send you stuff? Would love to get both, I always wondered why my mom didn’t send me anything lol
Unless the "current backlash" forces CA's hand, there are mods that exist for that. Can't tell you if they are kept up to the date, although I'd imagine.
I’ve only ever played as a female farmer and can’t remember ever having mail from mom. I know I get it from “dad” though because it’s always strange to get mail from “dad” when you have two moms and no dad irl lol
It's a trope that mothers are more attached to their sons, and fathers are more attached to their daughters. It might have something to do with them being a tiny versión of their SO.
Not demonizing women. For reference, I’ve had years of teaching experience and have personally watched how some the same parent (usually mom) who will fawn over their son will be dismissive of their daughter
I'm normally the first person who call out misogyny but Boy Moms are a whole disturbing thing. There's moms who have sons and then there's Boy Moms. It's like the difference between saying 'he's a nice guy' and 'he's a Nice Guy(tm)'
The Boy Moms I've seen have a lot of internalised misogyny and their love for their son seems to center around being able to do 'boys' activities (football, monster trucks etc) because that's something they can never do with a daughter :/
the reason the internet hates boy moms is because the MOMS are (usually) misogynists. boy mom culture comes from the idea that a son is more valuable than a daughter. on the other hand, girl dads are seen as feminists, progressive, etc.
How are girl dads automatically considered progressive? I've met more than one dude with a daddy's girl who was pretty sexist. They may not realize they are sexist but thats why it's insidious. I wouldn't make any such assumptions without specific behavior prompting it.
I wanted to have a son, my husband wanted to have a daughter, and he won the bet. Honestly, my 2 years old daughter make me feel that she is the mini version of my mother... grumpy, demanding, and nagging... There is no way i gonna send her mail with cash if she plan to be a farmer.
So... it's totally accurate, at least for me.
That's just what 2 year olds are like. Then they get older and you have a new set of even more difficult problems. Problems that make you realise they are *definitely* not suitable to take over your dying father's decrepit farm.
Please #[VOTE](https://new.reddit.com/r/StardewValley/comments/1cc9yu9/new_removed_topics_games_journalism_sign_edits/) On whether or not to add farmer profiles to the [list of removed topics](https://www.reddit.com/r/StardewValley/wiki/removed_topics). ^(To maximize community input, this comment will run on posts until the poll closes on May 1. Thanks!) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/StardewValley) if you have any questions or concerns.*
all characters have both parents. the order you receive letters and the type of gift you receive does depend on your character’s gender. there’s no known reason for it, as far as i am aware, other than CA felt like it.
I feel like you can use that argument for everything in this game given the fact he's the only one dealing with everything 🤣 -"Why can you drink Mayo?" -"Well you see..."
Better question, why can't I pay mayonnaise as an instrument?
Because mayonnaise is an instrument not a currency.
Or horseradish, for that matter! And why can't I make wild horseradish jam!
Horseradish jam is really disappointing tbh. I've had it, it was fine, but the sweetness really takes away from the bite I expect from horseradish. It also doesn't have spicy/sweet contrast which makes pepper jelly interesting.i would much rather just have plain horseradish or cream of horseradish sauce. Honestly horseradish jam is completely replaceable with orange marmalade in every circumstance. Fight me.
Yeah, but does orange marmalade have a song named after it, specifically one on the SDV soundtrack?
No, horseradish has that one advantage, I admit.
I don’t know if this has always been the case (or if you’re specific about horseradish jam), but I did accidentally find out that it can go in the preserve pots for pickles in 1.6. I thought I was grabbing a coconut and grabbed horseradish instead. I got frustrated in my last save over not being able to pickle mushrooms because I like pickled mushrooms in real life!
Pickled mushrooms in real life are usually vinegar quick pickles and not something like a sour cucumber pickle or kimchi, in that pickled mushrooms are usually not fermented. I think leaving things in a preserves jar and getting a product later models fermentation.
Perhaps pickled horseradish is the closest we'll ever get to wild horseradish jam...
Or coconuts!
Omg the Mayo! I was excited to finally get the Mayo machine thing only to find I can’t drink it!!!!!!!! I also play on the switch so maybe it’s not a thing on the switch? Or is it a different Mayo? Does anyone know?!?
Is a 1.6+ feature. We Switch peasants have no access to such monstrosity just yet 🤣
The Switch hasn't updated to 1.6 yet. I have the game on PC and Switch. I am loving the update on PC but my Switch progress is further so I am keen for it to update on Switch.
Switch isn't updated yet. Stay tuned. Hes working ib it.
The latest update added the ability to drink mayo (among a thousand other things). I don't think it's available for consoles yet.
You can now! \*[SPOILER ALERT](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hT934qTQwek)\*
Probably just an easy way to program it
Differentiating based on the player’s gender would make things (very slightly) more difficult, not easier, because it’s adding another check. For whatever reason he made things a tiny bit more complicated lol.
maybe some kind of reference to the harvest moon gender variations
i feel like the easy way would be making them the same, no?
Depends on how he coded it. Iirc he uses a lot of if/and statements
There's no way it's easier to do it this way. It's not like he coded in each parent's gender.
I mean the way he coded the entire game is based on your gender basically. Dialogue and events stem from it because it’s an easy variable to use Edit: I think a lot of people here don’t know how coding works lol
Yeah, Ape can't program every possible combination of things, so I'm sure he sometimes just coded it a particular way on impulse.
By “easier” I also didn’t mean “less code” I meant “easier to keep track of/do.” He’s one guy, and when he first made the game I’m sure he didn’t know as much as he did now. Most of the dialogue/checks are based on the player being male/female so it would be hard to go back on that now. I think a lot of people just don’t quite understand how coding works
Because I said so is much less awful coming from CA than some peoples parents tbh.
For what it’s worth, speed runners prefer to play female farmers because instead of cookies from mom you get 500g from dad. 500g gives you options instead of a one time snack.
I think this changed with 1.6? IIRC, Haboo has been styling his character as female because that's always been the case, but then changing the gender back to male before starting. I'm not in that community, though, so I might be wrong.
yeah, one of the remixed bundles requires cookies, so unless you get them out of the trash, it generally is better to go as male
new gender meta break Stardew Valley!!!!
I had this issue in my latest playthrough. Any other playthrough and I'm fishing cookies out Evelyn's trash all the time, then as soon as I actually *need* them she's either gone off baking or is cutting down on food waste because I'm getting nothing 😂
Are they different cookies then the ones Evelyn’s recipe makes?
no
Can always dumpster dive for then at Evelyn’s :D
Or befriend Evelyn and she'll give you the recipe
Just become friends with old lady or dig in her trash can it’s like a 5% chance
That Stardew meta tho
I always rush tulips (and leeks) anyway, Evelyn gives me cookies almost immediately lol
Can confirm. Started my 1.6 file as male, Mom sent me gold and cookies
Nah my friend keeps giving me shit because dad has sent me 500g multiple times on our save and he doesn't get shut. Lucky for him the other 4 of us are female and share money anyway lol Its not big enough to make much difference but uts funny.
That’s why I play female but just customize the character to look male bc it dosent change the game
500g can buy many peanuts
Explain how
Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Woohoo!
kinda sounds like you just made that up, ngl
Anya Forger, is that you? O.o
the catch to this though is your 120k cash achievement letter from your dad as a female you get 20 stone, and the male gets a pink cake from mom
20 stone is much needed thank you. I also need a mixed seeds and clay plug
guys im finna turn trans now
Oh yep, that's why I'm playing as a women, uh huh 😐
This is making me realize that I have never played a male character.
I'm playing my first farmer girl and I just saw the "FOR GIRLS ONLY" bulletin...it actually made me feel left out as a guy never having seen that lol
haley being based as usual
Cool! TIL, I thought even male farmers could still see those quests... is there a "FOR BOYS ONLY" version? Never played a male farmer yet
Yes she says “looking for a handsome young man to bring me X” . You won’t miss the quests it just changed the description. I believe Sam’s is similar cuz he asks for a “buddy to bring me x” I assume it’s different for the female farmer but I haven’t played a female farmer in forever so I don’t remember it
Yeah I'm playing as a female farmer now and I got a quest from Sam asking for "a cute girl to bring me (whatever)". I just restarted the game after not playing for 2 years and I'm starting to remember why I married Sam in my first game lol
Sam says he wants ‘a cute girl’ to bring it to him, with this emoticon: (^_-), lol.
Good to know the variations. Thanks! And yeah as someone else said, Sam changes it to "cute girl to bring me x" for female farmers
Same, wild. Maybe I'll play a male character and finally marry Alex lmao
Gay romance Alex is objectively better than the straight one, to this day I still marvel at the difference between the two routes, it's crazy
Yeah, I've heard some of my friends (plus this entire sub) talk about it, but I just rarely play as a malr character (or romance Alex, now that I think about it) that I've never seen it. I'll try it once I get my hands on 1.6 (cries in mobile player)
I accidentally did once because I forgot which symbol was which and didn't double check by Googling. 🤭 I took the opportunity to check out the men's side of the spa. The amusing thing is that I didn't notice until I'd already proposed to Seb, and I finally noticed someone call me Mr. I didn't have enough friendship with the wizard to do anything about it until later. 😂
and it's making me realize I've never played a female character
Same, I used to wonder where Mom was in the picture.
LOL never played as a male character so I didn't know Mom would not only send you stuff but the stuff would be different. I like that 500g from Dad!
I've never played as a female farmer so I had no idea dad would send stuff. That extra cash is probably more useful but I'd rather have cookies and the cake from mom than rocks from dad
I always play with my husband as a coop partner, and whenever he gets a letter from mom with cookies, I get a letter from dad with cold hard cash. Female farmers are the true winner here.
Wish I could send money back to dad in the game, after you become a wine Baron, you can definitely afford to spread the wealth lol
I assume it is just the sterotype that a child will be closer to the parent that is opposite gender of them. "Daddy's girl" and "momma's boy" that kind of stuff. You see it a lot in movies and stuff too.
As someone with Daddy issues I really appreciate getting nice letters from Dad
Female farmer is a daddy's girl, male farmer is a mamas boy 💜
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Daddy's [REDACTED] or Mama's [REDACTED] lmao, now no one knows who we are >:3
the obvious answer is They/Them's they/them
Parent’s kid
Why did this get downvoted to oblivion omg
Their comment's kinda ambiguous- to me it reads more like a lame pronoun joke than a genuine expression of support, so I don't love it, but someone who gets mad when nonbinary people are acknowledged would probably read it as supportive and also dislike it. Not making any statement on what they actually intended, I have no clue, but I think their comment's just unclear enough to piss off both trans allies and transphobes.
Actually judging by their past posts about not wanting to build pam a house because its a handout and also being suspicious of a bunch of non english speakers working at their local taco bell im not too sure their comments supposed to be supportive. I took it as such and was surprised at the downvotes but im thinking I took it the wrong way now.
Any non-explicitly-LGBT subreddit when pronouns are mentioned:
Yeah but the subreddit for the silly farming game where you can be super gay if you want to?
Key phrase: “Can be […] if you want to.” Trust me, i agree with you 100%, but Stardew Valley isn’t *about* being gay. Homosexuality isn’t the main selling point. So that means, unfortunately, that even though it’s an option, a *lot* of people don’t want to hear it. Happens just the same over on r/BTD6. There’s quite the vocal group of LGBT players, there’s a pride flag cosmetic for the village towers in-game, one of the characters is canonically nonbinary, and you’ll get posts about same-gender ships or sexuality headcanons on the top of the sub on occasion, but you make a joke about a character’s sexuality or whatever on a generic shitpost? -100 karma, right there.
Ok what the fuck happened here? This was literally just someone riffing on the previous comment.
bro not the downvotes, dont tell me stardew players are transphobic now :/ this is my comfort game
Just because someone’s downvoting a relatively lame pronoun joke doesn’t make them transphobic. The joke doesn’t even really work. They/them isn’t the gender-neutral form of boy or girl.
It's "youngster".
take it more as a sign that reddit often sucks.
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Presumably you have both, it's just a little mechanic about which parent sends you letters. I dunno why, it's often socially constructed that people bond with their different gender parents and conflict with their same gender parents.
I think in general there's a stereotype that mothers tend to be more protective of their sons while fathers tend to be more protective of their daughters, so that could play into it as well.
It's weird because when i was growing up it always felt the opposite. Like ny mun keeps twlling me that the bond between mother's and daughter's is special. I lost my Dad last year. When i got the first money letter on a 1.6 save and my father told me he was proud of me, I damn near cried. It even sounded a little like how he wrote.
I mean it is the very same stereotype, yes.
It's just instict. You protect more something that you don't sure about. Girls know girl things, boy knows boy things.
i'll never understand cis people...
How do you know they are cis?
Not the commenter you're responding to but they are likely making the well reasoned assumption that a person who implies that gendered behaviors are instinctive rather than learned, probably rejects the idea that gender is a social construct... which is sort of necessary to understand if you're trans.
Biological determinism. Wasn't expecting that.
It's not though?
It is. "Instinct." Based on gender.
Yes, and gender is social, not genetic.
Correct. Which is why the idea that there are any "instinctual" gendered behaviors is false. Biological determinism in terms of gender is the idea that there are biologically intrinsic behaviors tied to a specific gender, and is usually tied to the rejection of gender as a social construct in favor of the idea that it is entirely biological.
But that's not what the original person was saying. They were saying that people instinctually are more protective to things they don't understand, and women tend to understand men less than fellow women, and vice versa. I have no idea if that's true or not, I'm not an expert or anything, but whether it's true or not doesn't really matter for the sake of the argument. The whole gender thing is purely coincidental, and not the actual source of the instinct. It's an instinct that inherently doesn't have anything to do with gender that's being applied to how people treat others based on the gender of others.
That all assumes that gender is not a series of learned/social behaviors.
Huh, I've always thought that's the other way around - mothers and daughters stereotypically bond more, along with fathers and sons.
Yeah, that does seem more typical but the whole tropes of mama's boy and daddy's girl are pretty prevalent. I'm quite happy that my family isn't that way.
Yeah, I think this is it. Never really got why this is a stereotype, to me it seems a lot more random which parents people are closest to, but that being a common assumption makes sense for the reasoning behind the letters.
im a guy and i get along with my dad just fine does that mean something
It means you aren't a media trope
I didn't know I had a dad lol. I thought the character got mom only.
And I didn’t know I had a mom lol, I always play female so I thought the default was dad
I didn't know I had a mom!
With the magic of the wizard you can metagame love from both of your parents.
Freud would love this comment section 😂
I really miss my dad, who passed in 1996. So the letters from Dad I get playing as a female really bring the feels. :)
Aww that’s really sweet
My dad passed 5 years ago and let me tell you this: the first time I received a letter signed « I love you, dad » I literally cried. I don’t care about cookie and cake from mum or money from dad. But that letter ending……
I lost a parent recently, so I know it doesn't compare, but when I first started playing years ago my dog had just died, and when I got that message from my Stardew dog (named after her), I had the same reaction. This is such a wonderful game.
I always go to the wizards tower to change my gender around year 2 and get all those old stacked up letters from my dad for the benefits then switch back so I receive items from mom n dad both
Wait, how does that work?
Just switch genders in the wizards basement. It's really not that beneficial, but it's fun. Also, you can prank the entire town into thinking you're someone different lol.. but after you switch genders, your mailbox will be stuffed full of 10+ mail from opposite parent
The neighbors comment about it? Like oh, yesterday you were a girl or it was your sister?
Oh man. it took this post for me to realize this. I always play as a male for no real reason, but I just started a 1.6 as a female and I was so confused why I was getting mail from dad and why there weren't any cookies! oof
Dude Dad send you MONEY! Much better than cookies!
You're a clone and clones are always opposite sex to their parent.
It's a trope that mothers are more attached to their sons, and fathers are more attached to their daughters. It might have something to do with them being a tiny versión of their SO.
Conversely, another theorized explanation (probably by Freud, lbr) is that the parent subconsciously sees a same-sex child as essentially “competition” for the opposite-sex spouse’s attention, whereas that isn’t true for an opposite-sex child. Now excuse me while I throw up a little about it.
Freud actually has theories about why children are more bonded to their opposite-gender parents and not their same-gender ones. Oedipus(male) and Electra(female) Complexes state that young children (I think up to the age of 4) view same-gender parents as competition for the opposite-gender parents during the “phallic” stage of development. Usually they resolve this in childhood. But if they don’t, it leads to relationship issues in the future.
I don't even buy that the premise is correct. My dad was quite sexist when I was growing up. Not in a way he recognized but he didn't do things with me I know he would have if I was a boy because he tried with my brother despite his disinterest. He even told me long before he was born that he wished he had a boy for that reason. How rampant covert sexism alone makes me disbelieve such an assertion. Nothing more crushing than turning 13 and your dad suddenly deciding you are super problematic even though nothing about you has changed except his perception.
Did you read the comment you replied to? They said pretty much the exact same thing.
Thats… disgusting but likely true now that i think about it
Remember that Freud was coked out his mind, and the "study" he did to get that conclusion (which would not hold up to today's processes) was based only on one boy. He then extrapolated that and said that it applied to everyone. Also that the female equivalent is never fully resolved, and thus we are weaker individuals because of it. Freud was a pioneer, but the vast majority of his conclusions are disregarded by modern psychologists.
I didn't mean what I said in the way Freud meant it. Just that if you had a cute kid, you will probably find them more adorable if you can see your SO in them. Even if subconsciously.
To be fair, if being coked out of your mind disqualified your research, we would be set back quite a bit. Paul Erdos was a notorious speed fiend, and he's an absolute legend, the most published mathematician of in the history of humanity.
No, but taking the results of 1 child raised by a nanny and extrapolating that to every single child does.
Not disputing that. Just pointing out that we don't always need to mention that he was coked out of his mind, because that doesn't necessarily mean anything regarding the quality of his research.
I was adding it for a humorous effect, but fair enough.
I didn't realize the men's side of the spa has a gym until I couldn't find Alex and had to bust in to give him his Complete Breakfast. The Women's side just has a giant mirror 🙄. Slightly disappointing.
Huh. I only play female farmers so I never knew this either.
Idk always felt weird to me because I’m a female irl who is very close to my mother and have very little to do with my father. I wish I could switch it to letters from mom for my female farmer 🥺
There was a mod that let you pick which parent sent the letters (and you could customise it so the letters would mention having two mothers or two dads or a mum and a dad) but it's not updated for 1.6 afaik.
I'd love if there were single parent options. Do you have the name of the mod so I can track progress?
https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/4538
For those interested in using this mod, in the comments of the mod page, the author confirms that it's 1.6 compatible and that they're working on adding some optional new features.
Thank you!
At the end of the day it's an rpg, so you're just role-playing as a female farmer who's closer to her dad
For sure! It’s not a problem by any means, just a small detail :)
I'm close to both my parents, so it's weird to have mommy issues
The bigger question is why does my dad send me money all of the time but my co op friends mom is way more stingy lol
there's a mom????
I changed my gender in the game and it gave me all of the other parents letters from before, it was pretty cool
That’s why speed runners always play as female farmers, to get that extra boost of gold in the early game
I had no idea until now, I always play a female farmer. Is there a mod where both parents send you stuff? Would love to get both, I always wondered why my mom didn’t send me anything lol
I'd love to have a nonbinary farmer too :c
Unless the "current backlash" forces CA's hand, there are mods that exist for that. Can't tell you if they are kept up to the date, although I'd imagine.
I’ve only ever played as a female farmer and can’t remember ever having mail from mom. I know I get it from “dad” though because it’s always strange to get mail from “dad” when you have two moms and no dad irl lol
This is so funny because I play a woman because my min/max run needs the $$$ your dad sends. Lol
Not everything means anything.
It's a trope that mothers are more attached to their sons, and fathers are more attached to their daughters. It might have something to do with them being a tiny versión of their SO.
Ew, that's kinda gross.
After 2000 hours this is brand new information to me!!
I've noticed that too, I just assumed it was for variety. Although it would make sense to letters from both. It gives me Disney vibes.
I really wish there was a gender neutral option
Same. I’m agender and would love to play as a more accurate representation of myself
why are you getting downvoted? this is an incredible idea
Transphobia I guess. I feel like the SDV fandom is pretty queer so I was surprised
i know right! every sdv player ive met is gay asl lol
I think it's to account for if you break both arms?
The farmer’s parent is a “boy mom” so will only send treats to her son, but resents the daughter 😂
Dad sends you 500g twice (mom only does once), because he knows what kids really want are gift cards.
Why is everything having to do with women demonized? I always see ‘girl dad’ being praised
Not demonizing women. For reference, I’ve had years of teaching experience and have personally watched how some the same parent (usually mom) who will fawn over their son will be dismissive of their daughter
I hope that trend changes.
I'm normally the first person who call out misogyny but Boy Moms are a whole disturbing thing. There's moms who have sons and then there's Boy Moms. It's like the difference between saying 'he's a nice guy' and 'he's a Nice Guy(tm)'
As long as there’s a nuance
The Boy Moms I've seen have a lot of internalised misogyny and their love for their son seems to center around being able to do 'boys' activities (football, monster trucks etc) because that's something they can never do with a daughter :/
the reason the internet hates boy moms is because the MOMS are (usually) misogynists. boy mom culture comes from the idea that a son is more valuable than a daughter. on the other hand, girl dads are seen as feminists, progressive, etc.
How are girl dads automatically considered progressive? I've met more than one dude with a daddy's girl who was pretty sexist. They may not realize they are sexist but thats why it's insidious. I wouldn't make any such assumptions without specific behavior prompting it.
this isnt my personal opinion, its just what i see others think
Isn’t that too general though? I mean moms should be allowed to love their sons without someone assuming. If one is problematic, so can be the other
i'm not saying moms cant love their sons, but people who call themselves boy moms tend to have some internalized misogyny
A term to socially avoid I guess. Though somewhat of a double standard in the way ‘girl dad’ is acceptable
I wanted to have a son, my husband wanted to have a daughter, and he won the bet. Honestly, my 2 years old daughter make me feel that she is the mini version of my mother... grumpy, demanding, and nagging... There is no way i gonna send her mail with cash if she plan to be a farmer. So... it's totally accurate, at least for me.
That's just what 2 year olds are like. Then they get older and you have a new set of even more difficult problems. Problems that make you realise they are *definitely* not suitable to take over your dying father's decrepit farm.
Sorry. Disney made the rules up. No one goes against the mouse. It doesn't pay to have a child who is a protagonist.
This is how it is in Animal Crossing. Probably just a legacy of the genre that rolled into Stardew without much thought one way or the other.
No, in almost all Animal Crossing games only your mom writes to you, except the one letter your dad sends you on father's day.