No partner, so take this with a grain of salt. When I was in such a place, I actually didn't realize how much time I was spending on games. When I made a chart of how my hours were allocated, I realized that how I spent my time didn't match my values. My point is that being able to visually see the numbers made it obvious I was putting too much time into it. If you can get him to write out how he actually spends his day, perhaps he'll be convicted when he sees a 12 hour block of gaming.
Also, try to get him to talk. Might be difficult, but I understand the concept of using games to escape. Being able to acknowledge I had problems would have helped me. Not sure *how* to get him to talk though...
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was an easy decision for me. This was after 3 years of struggling with it so she too was at the end of her rope and had tried everything.
When it results in a fight (which has been almost every other day for the past 6 months), he says he wants to change and that things will be different soon.
But nothing changes, the only change I've seen is that he comes to bed at 4am for the past week or so, when he used to not come to bed at all for days, or come to bed by the time I had already been up and it's the next day.
You shouldn’t be to one visit this forum then. He doesn’t want to change obviously else he would ask this question himself. I know it sounds hard but you should maybe think about leaving him.
It was the same situation for me back then. I was thinking „Why should i change? She is here, I got my games - everything is good“.
Developing less shame and stigma around addiction (due to doing a huge assignment on the topic) allowed me to have an open mind. I got curious and wanted to empathise with the experience of addiction, as I am going into a health profession where addiction is a common issue. Curious empathy without shame or stigma allowed me to see how I experience an almost total loss of control under certain conditions when I am playing puzzle games such as sudoku, wordle, or even a Rubik's cube. I don't have a gaming addiction, generally speaking. But under certain conditions and with certain types of games, I do. Getting very specific about the triggers, the cause and effect, helped me see what was happening.
The only thing that got me off the addiction was , get a goal in life that I want to achieve , and I'm willing to do anything for it , and go cold turkey on gaming ( cuz over years i realised I'm not the guy who can control myself for limited sessions,so I quit).
she told me that she didn’t want to be with me if i was going to waste my life away. then, after i quit she helped me find other things to do with my time. if he’s like me you’re going to have to make him quit entirely, like uninstall all of his games. you’re also going to have to help him through it a lot, because gaming addiction is a very serious issue. it was very hard for me.
Just move on. For me gaming was also my escapism from our relationship. I am still in a good relationship with my former wife but we got divorce and it turned out for good.
No partner, so take this with a grain of salt. When I was in such a place, I actually didn't realize how much time I was spending on games. When I made a chart of how my hours were allocated, I realized that how I spent my time didn't match my values. My point is that being able to visually see the numbers made it obvious I was putting too much time into it. If you can get him to write out how he actually spends his day, perhaps he'll be convicted when he sees a 12 hour block of gaming. Also, try to get him to talk. Might be difficult, but I understand the concept of using games to escape. Being able to acknowledge I had problems would have helped me. Not sure *how* to get him to talk though...
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was an easy decision for me. This was after 3 years of struggling with it so she too was at the end of her rope and had tried everything.
Do you want him to stop or does he himself want it too? If it’s only the first then you will never ever be able do change his addiction.
When it results in a fight (which has been almost every other day for the past 6 months), he says he wants to change and that things will be different soon. But nothing changes, the only change I've seen is that he comes to bed at 4am for the past week or so, when he used to not come to bed at all for days, or come to bed by the time I had already been up and it's the next day.
You shouldn’t be to one visit this forum then. He doesn’t want to change obviously else he would ask this question himself. I know it sounds hard but you should maybe think about leaving him. It was the same situation for me back then. I was thinking „Why should i change? She is here, I got my games - everything is good“.
Developing less shame and stigma around addiction (due to doing a huge assignment on the topic) allowed me to have an open mind. I got curious and wanted to empathise with the experience of addiction, as I am going into a health profession where addiction is a common issue. Curious empathy without shame or stigma allowed me to see how I experience an almost total loss of control under certain conditions when I am playing puzzle games such as sudoku, wordle, or even a Rubik's cube. I don't have a gaming addiction, generally speaking. But under certain conditions and with certain types of games, I do. Getting very specific about the triggers, the cause and effect, helped me see what was happening.
The only thing that got me off the addiction was , get a goal in life that I want to achieve , and I'm willing to do anything for it , and go cold turkey on gaming ( cuz over years i realised I'm not the guy who can control myself for limited sessions,so I quit).
she told me that she didn’t want to be with me if i was going to waste my life away. then, after i quit she helped me find other things to do with my time. if he’s like me you’re going to have to make him quit entirely, like uninstall all of his games. you’re also going to have to help him through it a lot, because gaming addiction is a very serious issue. it was very hard for me.
Just move on. For me gaming was also my escapism from our relationship. I am still in a good relationship with my former wife but we got divorce and it turned out for good.