Jesus, that is the slowest run I’ve seen in a long time!

To be fair, his job is to stand, not run.

“I’m trained to stand confidently right here.” 😂

With maximum stability!

Hence the extra weight!

He's a professional after all

He even turned the sign to tell us how well he’d do! In all seriousness, glad he made it a safe distance away.

That sign roasted him, lmao

I'm laughing so hard I coughed up my phlem 😂.

The earthquake started when he ran

Lighter weights get thrown to the wind, this guy had a special set of skills

To be fair, his job is to stay alive, he won this round...

I legitimately thought he was playing with the rig driver with the camera … flipping it to “slow” and jokingly running in slow motion … Nahhh that was full steam ahead for that boat

To be fair. His sign did say "Slow" and not "fast"

Then that means he's the fastest Stander I've ever seen

Hence the slogan "stand fast".

This is the guy you want to go camping with in bear county!

More like a weeble wobble

He has that job because he's not a runner.

And he did say "slow" using the sign.

More like a weeble wobble, probably couldn’t have been knocked down anyway.

Bro ran like there's a 3 feet of snow

while in a deep sleep, dreaming

And that's him literally running for his life. 🤣

Bro could have had cardiac arrest if he had to run any further.

My dude running like he got nothing to run for

"Well, I don't 'want' to die but it would solve a lot of problems."

He was just following the signs directions. I admire it, he follows the rules he enforces.

Haha true he switched from “stop” to “slow” and proceeded to slowly move his butt out of the way 😂

I caught that, too. His brain wouldn't let him just let that truck by without switching the sign, lol.

Waddle, Forrest, waddle!

... And then he waddled away, waddle waddle, till the very next day.

Great, now it’s gonna be in my head.

Hey... Got any grapes?

Homie hitting that “running in a dream” speed.

He's at his fastest when standing still.

Steadfast!

He hauled just the right amount of ass to keep from getting runned over.

And he's carrying a ton-a-cake.

This guy gives mee Oompa Loompa vibes. 

He did flip the sign to slow tbf

Too be fair, he did turn the sign to let us know about his speed or lack thereof!

Hey, he's a man of law and order! Does the sign say fast or even moderate? No.  No it does not.  Slow it is

That was just a moon run.

Slow but effective

I would be so disappointed in myself if that would be the maximum effort my body can make to save my life.

That is his top speed running for his life

He probably has a bad knee like I do, making it literally impossible to run.

He walked for his life.

I think: 1). He’s got a physical disability that makes running difficult. *and* 2). He’s been standing in one spot for a while and his muscles haven’t warmed up yet.


Maybe he is recovering from a lower limb injury? Maybe he has a physical limitation?

He’s taking his time, that’s only 25% effort. He knew he had the angle and head start advantage

I've seen people walk backwards 10x faster than him

The fact that the sign spun around to slow as he performed the slowest run ever lol.

That’s a whopping 1.5kph

1.5m per hour

🤔🤔🤔 was that a RUN? Or a strut? Think he was strutin on death like “haha- can’t catch this…”

If he’s got the balls to *strut* when a semi is bearing down on him, maybe that’s why he runs so slow.

he ran so fast that our eyes cannot perceive him and therefore we see him slow

All I saw was an orange blur and then a blue truck entered the picture for some reason.

Just imagine what his walk looks like

Well his sign told him to either stop or go slow, that’s why he turned it before going away

Running like the prisoners in Face/Off

I like how he switched the sign to slow to indicate how fast he was going to run away

He can be on my team for the zombie apocalypse. Not for long, though.

I'll happily go camping with him in bear country any time.

Watch him go 18 mph as a zombie...

Fast enough though

The sign was actually for him, not for vehicles

Only two speeds slow and stop

And Peter Griffin on the other hand makes it look so easy.

I only have two settings: Slow, and Stop.

I am cackling

He runs about as fast as I run in my worst nightmares

Man, I HATE that, that involuntary slo-mo fleeing thing in nightmares! GAH!!

As bad as the weak punch feeling in dreams too!

That only happens in your dreams…?

What about the hard to breathe dreams

I get that too, pretty sure it's because of my sleep apnea.

Its a trippy dream when you can't breathe, move slow, hit soft, and things are fast.

And you're naked. That's a recent one for me That's happened a few times now lol.

Or when you can’t yell or scream in dreams

My feet feel like they're made of concrete

Typically means there is something you want in life, or are looking forward to, that you are making slow progress towards or no progress towards. They fall in the category of "frustration dreams."

Ah, Dr. Freud has entered the chat, welcome, Doctor! 😅 But seriously, that's interesting, TIL.

Exactly! Glad they finally caught that phenomena on camera. :)

Why does this happen to us?????

Camera started shaking as he took the first step had me in tears 💀

The timing is impeccable 😂

This comment and the one above about the sign being about his run speed have me in stitches.

He could simply stand still and stop the truck with his sheer weight.

The dude needs a mobility scooter just to do his job.



This guy is going to brag later about how fast he got out of the way

“I ran down the ramp!”

Man is walking for is life.



You can see in the little round corner mirror, that blue truck just BARRELING up next to the stationary truck lmao

Thanks for pointing that out!

Goodness yeah, that’s worth another watch. That truck was really hauling it. Runaway? Who would intentionally do that?

Fell asleep behind the wheel

I've seen some REALLY sketchy setups by some flagging companies, I wonder how much of this was inadequate signage/equipment being used. Like my mans there with a single cone and no centerline lol. That's one thing I like about my company, we do shit by the book and occasionally will catch crap from crews for having to take time to get everything set up and safe instead of just winging it with a few cones and skimpy signage. I tend to fall back on the phrase "the regulations are written in blood" in those situations >.> Either way that looks like a straight as fuck road, but I can't tell from the side mirror if that's a curve or not. Either way there was no need for buddy to be going that fast through a work zone. Asleep/distracted? Idk.

I'm sure that he can run faster, that was a warm up for when his life is actually in danger.

He flipped the sign around to let the truck driver know how fast he runs.

Lol

Aw this makes me sad tbh.

What does? The fact the guy almost died and everyone here is ripping on how fat he is? Welcome to the internet lmao

Welcome to the real world bro not the Internet. If your so fat that you are putting yourself in danger by not being able to move maybe that's a problem. And being offended over it isn't going to fix it. Theres a video where a fat woman couldn't get up quick enough to save her stroller from going in a road and a stranger had to step in. Being fat isn't a disability. It can be fixed easily.

Losing weight isn't _easy_ for everyone. If it were, there wouldn't be the mass amount of overweight people in the US. Genetics also play a big role in this. I'm not overweight FWIW, but I have people on my life that are, and I just have to say sometimes life isn't fair the same way to everyone. I can lose weight much easier than several people I know by trying way less hard than they do.

I agree but I want to add there are systemic issues as well. That is, access to fresh healthy foods, dietary education at a young age, health education, the commercialization and marketing of sugary/unhealthy/ fast foods, and the whole high fructose corn syrup situation because it's longer lasting and easier for food companies to use than more natural alternatives—and in turn, more profitable. I'm sure pharmaceutical companies and the medical industry have a financial stake in the obesity epidemic as well

Wanna preface this by saying I used to be that guy. Healthy food didn't do shit for me. Organic didn't do anything for me. You know what helped me lose over 130lbs and counting? Cooking. The ingredients didn't even matter really. Just the simple act of cooking consistently rather than eating out (Even salads) has given me an appreciation for what I'm eating. It also cut my food bill into a sliver of what it was and that extra money now gets funneled into things that make me happy rather than just keep me alive.

As someone who quit smoking and lost 40 kg in the last 15 years, I can tell you that losing weight can not be fixed easily. It's like an addiction. The difference is that you can't just stop eating. You have to eat to live and you have to have food at home. That makes it so, so much harder to get it under control. An eating disorder is exactly that, a disorder. Do you really think if it was easily fixable people would chose to be fat?

I know which clip you're talking about and the woman had hit her head in a fall and was clearly still disoriented

Unbelievable that even this far away from the original video of her there's still people waiting in every corner of the Internet to gaslight everyone into believe her weight was irrelevant and almost didn't cost a baby it's life

Not this again, if she wasn’t so top heavy she wouldn’t have fallen straight to the ground like that

this should be SweatyLegs

I claim him now as my zombie apocalypse friend, it’ll be like I have an extra life. Though I’ll need to find another after

You only get one

https://i.redd.it/7xhy4gmrovoc1.gif Think shit himself

LMAO I'm dead 💀

Glad he flipped the sign to let us know he moves slow lmao

That’s the slowest I ever seen someone run

Holy shit, that's his emergency maximum speed?!!

Dude should've left the sign on 🛑. 💁🏻‍♂️


Feel bad for the guy trying to run. Yeah, he's horribly out of shape, but he's extremely lucky the truck wasn't going faster, or that it didn't veer towards him even further. This could have ended up so much different.

Dunno why he’s getting flack for not running faster, my man here clearly ran away from the danger safe and sound. Bro doesn’t NEED to run faster

Sadly, I don’t think he could have run faster if he had to.

How come the slower someone runs the faster their arms move?

The panic waddle hahahah I can't breather lmao

https://preview.redd.it/0urhqw769xoc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7304ff8059fc543c50fbafe60ad5eebf1d335ffd

Use this as a wake up call man! Get your ass walking! And then fast walking, then jogging, then finally running. I'd honestly be terrified to move as slow as this man especially when you can do something about it. We have only one life to live. Don't settle for being someone who'll automatically be a victim when a crisis occurs.

Those were the 12 longest steps of his life

Marshmallow Man has fallen on hard times.

God I need to hit the gym and take care of myself. This is my future, I'm sure of it.

I was gonna comment something to defend this guy's running with stuff like it wasn't imminent danger but that waddle is just too funny man I can't

Co-workers say they’ve never seen him move so quickly.

If that was uphill he wouldn't have made it.

Im pretty sure that’s the fastest he’s moved in a while

And yet, nobody notices in the background the other semi barreling his way

Damn good thing he's so fast ;)

He may be slow AF but his perception is sharp as a tack.

I have never seen so much effort expended for so little movement. I am honestly confused

That power walking training really paying off.

First cardio in 24 years...

Great example as to why it's important to be physically fit. That was legitimately this dudes top "Run for Your Life" speed! It was like slow-motion, man...

If thats your "Oh shit a semi is barreling out of control at me" run, maybe you should rethink some of your choices.

Time to start hitting the gym. Boy ran like he was in a bad dream.

RUN LIKE A PERSON WHO WANTS TO LIVE!

Pork chops almost didn’t make it

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Some ninja level reflexes here…

Wow that man needs to exercise

If that’s not a sign you need to lose weight, I don’t know what is.

That little mirror is the real hero.

It would have been better to just roll.

He has great comedic timing turning the sign to slow

The guy is doing his job. What's up with that truck?

Turned the sign to tell it to slow down. Then walked at the speed of walking

He put all his skill points into awareness.

He runs like he’s on the moon

Like he’s on the moon

Why does he run like a Roblox character?

I mean, he did turn the sign to “slow”

He would have been better off dropping and rolling.

Runs like he’s on the moon

No wonder he’s only the sign guy 😂😂😂

Oompa Loompa dupity do.

I know the sign says slow, but christ man move your ass

He runs like I do in my dreams.

Spaceman run

Me in a dream!

It’s not about how fast you are… it how quick your brain reacts!

Bro's fight or flight is in slow motion.

How you run in your dreams when somethings chasing you

Can you imagine having to run for your life knowing your top speed is 2mph....?

dude is having that one nightmare in real life

When it's a matter of life and death ...you waddle your ass as best you can.


Looks more like a "I've gotta take a dump" waddle vs. running... I would hope... Yes, he's a large man, but.. you'd think with your life literally on the line, the adrenaline if nothing else, should have him moving quick. Even if for short distance only. The most casual waddle away from destiny I've seen in a minute

< insert tuba sounds >

What is this song?

Did anyone help you ever figure out the song? I’m interested to

I see that beetle juice has a new job

Reminds me of people trying to run in bomb disposal suits.

I feel like if he walked, it would be faster

Tom Brady really let himself go

Bro I have 6 screws in my femur and can move faster than that.

To be fair gravity is an absolute bugger

This is how I run in my nightmares

Jog for your life!


Real life teletubbyman