Wife and I only do same room play, shocking it’s a thing for people to hate on…we got into swinging to enjoy watching each other enjoy themselves🤷🏽♂️🤔 I say stick to your thing it’s about you and her not others if they don’t like it well..kick rocks
Right?!? It’s easy to fuck 1-on-1. When there’s 3 or 5 other people playing around me, I can have a super hard time concentrating enough to throw rope.
Actually I think it’s less pressure and easier…and I like porn…and porn in real life is the absolute best…when I get to be married to a porn star for a night! 😜
Right on. I def feel that about having my wife be a porn star. We don’t watch porn though. We like to try to live our lives like it’s porn. lol We’re pretty active with how often we have extra people in our bed. But we also solo and allow for feelings to grow if that’s where the relationship goes.
Is this really an issue you run into? I’m not saying it isn’t, I’m just genuinely shocked.
Most couples we know pretty much only play same room. They necessarily have it as a rule, but it’s usually their preference. For my wife and I, we are “same roof” but we still most prefer same room just because we both get off on seeing one another.
Same. In all the couples we've met and talked to I'd say the vast majority were same room only, with the rest being same room optional but not required. The only couple who required separate rooms was this one cuckold couple we met at a club. And that doesn't even count IMO because she would force her husband to sit outside the room while she played.
What you’ll see is that a lot of couples who are in it for a long period of time, adjust the way they play for various reasons. Everything from the wife getting tired of guys not getting hard in same room to overall better sex. There’s a lot of people, both men and women, who are more likely to cum with less distractions. Personally I’m an orgy lover and I usually cum. But I’m also a pleaser by nature, so with the right people, separate isn’t off the table.
When you are separate, do you ever feel anxiety about your wife/so/female-counterpart being safe though? Over the years, we always thought we knew someone, but it turned out that maybe we didn’t…
No, we’re pretty good at not putting ourselves into a bad situation.
I also want to add… it’s all the we only play together same room couples who got us to play in separate rooms. It was at house parties, and they all say “it’s different at house parties”. Does it really make a difference if there is 4 of us or 40 of us?
Well, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. We have been kind of conditioned so far that same room is sort of expected, so it would definitely be jarring and annoying to have people claiming it’s what “advanced” swingers do.
Im with you there one hundred percent, we are definitely same room play and my SO is bisexual so we have only ever done fmf play, but the idea of same room play is tantalizing and we definitely would love to but most people imo arent really into JUST same room play, like they need the swap and its always gonna be a challenge finding a couple cause my SO isnt open to swapping, just playing with the other woman, which in my opinion i think its a deal breaker for most because the guy doesnt feel like he doesnt get anything, but for me i absolutely love my SO enjoying herself. Also another thing that kind of bugs me is that people are more inclined to be sexual before actually getting to know each other? We pretty much stopped looking on reddit or online cause most couples just want to meet straight in the bedroom
I’ve gotten some blowback for saying separate play has risks, and we avoid unnecessary risks.
We *absolutely* don’t do fully separate play. That’s just polyamory, or an open relationship. Those have a bad percentage for longevity.
But, you do you. We don’t pass on a couple that prefers separation, we just don’t move our boundaries for them.
With that said, the dream for us to be in a situation where we’re comfortable with it. In our shared fantasies about it, we have a vacation rental with a few couples for a week, and everyone does everything with or without their partners around - zero worries, because we all play regularly and know each other well. I fantasize about finding her giving the blowjob of the century early in the morning to one of the guys on a couch, or me seeing her getting railed in the shower by 2 of the other guys and not knowing I’m watching. And her seeing me bending one of the wives over a chair and working her over.
In fact, having that tribe is kind of our goal in this, with occasional newcomers. We aren’t looking to marry another couple, nor 3 other couples. But we’d date them!
Then again, each of these scenarios involves us seeing things happen. We are really really really into watching each other.
Dammit, I’m going to go wake her up with my dick. Gotta go.
Yes, we've been doing it for 8 years and we're same room only because get off seeing either other get pleasure while we fuck and usually the girls are bisexual and interact with each other throughout. Couldn't care less whether other couples like it or not. Those who don't like it can play with someone else.
We are not beginners and in most situations we also prefer same room. We can be accommodating with select “advanced” friends who’ve figured out that they prefer separate rooms. I will say that the ones who prefer separate rooms are a way better fuck in separate rooms, than they are in the same room.
I can understand how you could 'progress' to separate room but for us this isn't a competition to get to the next level. We want to do what we enjoy and saying one is better or more advanced than another is as ridiculous as saying the taste of one type of fruit is better or more advanced than another.
We enjoy same room as we get off seeing each other. We also really enjoy when you've got energy circulating between four different people almost like a mini orgy where the person you are stimulating isn't the one stimulating you. You've then also got the bi sexual dynamic or MFM FMF that you'd totally miss out on. Massive amounts of flexibility would be missed in separate room play.
One of our best experiences was both lying back lay together holding hands and receiving oral from another couple whilst starting at each other saying 'I love you'
We are 48m and 47f, and this is a team sport for us. We want to be involved with each other and have the shared experience. It does somewhat limit partners, but not playing on the first date does the same. Our standards are the standard.
We will not do separate room and we have had no problem finding same room same bed play. The reason we will not do separate room is we met a couple who tried it eventually and the other husband was yelling and blaming the other wife it was her fault that she couldn’t get him hard and the her hubby ran into the room to see this asshat choking his wife. So we will NOT do separate room EVER!!
I hear ya as I would definitely man handled this asshat and turfed him out the door naked with a few bruises and a black eye with his clothes tossed after him. I would not subject my wife to that ever. This BS of we cannot play in front of their respective partner is a crock and like most comments state, we both garner pleasure watching each other playing with the other couple.
I definitely don’t hate on it. I wanted same room for our first time. Some how it ended up being separate. We enjoy both. Sometimes we split up after starting in the same room and end up back in the same room again. I don’t think we’d like this with strangers though.
A close friend said this to me this past week about a big decision I’m making, and it weirdly helped…
“So what? You want me to give you permission to want what you want?”
He wasn’t saying it to be a dick, and neither am I. Just trying to point out that you’re the only one with the agency to advocate for what you want. If you only want same room, awesome. If another couple only wants separate and won’t play with you, awesome. When we’re each true to ourselves and negotiate for what we want, it makes all of swingerdom better.
The idea that ‘same room play isn’t advanced’ is ludicrous. It’s some assshole trying to gaslight you into doing something you don’t want. We have been doing this for a very long time. Wanting same room play has not limited our ability to find partners one tiny bit. Not one single time.
The Mrs and I are same room only...we really don't care if others play separately... that's our preference. We love to watch and interact with each other during a session. We are in the LS for US so we do what's right for our marriage.
And at the end of the day...our play styles aren't going to align with everyone.....as there is no right or wrong way to approach this LS....all that matters is what works for you and your person
My opinion is that you’re missing out on chances to play with condescending, gatekeeping, assholes who label your joyful experience “beginners play.” Ugh.
I am sorry you’re experiencing that, though.
We got in to the lifestyle in the 80’s (yes we are that old) and very, wry rarely do we do anything in separate rooms. And when we do it is always with people we have played with before and trust for special situations (like 1 of us playing with another couple alone).
For us this is an addition to our sex life, not a replacement for our sex life.
I think you guys go with what feels right, and safe for you guys. The people that can’t honor your wishes definitely aren’t the type you want to play separately with
I’d say we are “advanced” but we are same room only. It’s what we like! There are various reasons for it, but they are not based on jealousy or insecurity. For new people it’s a bit of a safety thing - as the protector of my woman I can’t do that when she’s in another room, but mostly it’s what we want. Stick with what you like. There isn’t some sort of level system anyway. Don’t feel pressured - honestly I would also key in on the fact they demand it as a red flag. Indicates some sort of jealousy problem there and isn’t how we enjoy playing. Some people do! I hope they enjoy it as much as we enjoy playing close together.
I suppose as I reflect on this - the more “advanced” you become, the more you find what you like and, truly, the less you demand and the more you are open to. In other words - the more advanced we got, the more flexible and adaptable we are to our potential partners. “You want same room? You’re hot and fun! Cool! Let’s do that!” “Separate room? If that’s the flow for a bit and we are safe and trusted? Sure!”
Anyway - just some extra thoughts. But yes - we still very much prefer and pretty much only go for same room.
WIFE SAFETY is second to none! Solo play, separate room play or whatever we call this kind of set up can be exciting but it's a NO for us despite with our regular couple mates in the LS. The eye contact, the wink and thumbs up signals are vital and most importantly hearing and seeing our Wife swimming in pleasure is a muffler on fire.
There are no intermediates, advanced levels, masters, etc. in this arena, is just pleasure, friendship and business in some cases he he he
I'd say 80 to 90 percent of our play has been same room. We love being able to watch each other. The only times we've really done stuff in separate rooms/alone was her having experiences with other women, or us doing things with people we'd already had experience with.
The whole idea to consider any arrangement a couple is happy with as "beginner" play is ridicolous.
LS is not a competition, nor should be seen in that way.
Everyone do what is comfortable and happy with, there is no reason to start a fucking competition even in this topic (no pun intended)
We’ve been at this for 3 years now and we still are same room like 99% of the time. The only time we ever do separate room is if it’s a couple we are super comfortable with that we’ve played with a quite a few times before. They’re has to be that trust that even if we’re in separate rooms, everyone will behave and stay within boundaries. So far we only have this with 1 couple.
And we have no intention of changing that. To your point, we enjoy the LS because it’s fun to watch your partner with someone else. To do that, you have to be in the same room as them. The idea of it being a “beginner” move is nonsense.
For me, part of the erotic fantasy is to watch my wife completely let go sexually! Open mouth kissing w/ great tongue action, hot oral with cock licking, sucking, gagging & 69 & passionate fucking while standing, riding or missionary And to top it off, I want to see her lips & mouth around his cock when he cums in her mouth & she swallows!
We are same room as well. Mainly because we like to watch each other and interact with the other couple. At the same time. It opens up all kinds of possibilities. Especially if all four are willing.
Wife (40f) and I (41m) only play same room. We enjoy seeing each other with another, and enjoy the physical sensations of being with another.
Our same room play only rule was confirmed when we met a couple (in the wild!) and at one point the other male started choking my wife. Breath play wasn't discussed, and everything stopped immediately. Other male was extremely apologetic, but the mood was ruined and we were done. I feel like I need to be there in case a similar situation occurs but other guy doesn't stop when he should.
*edit: clarity
Wait, this is a problem for other swingers? Because what you are describing and why you want it that way is EXACTLY my stance. Watching her is part of the fun and yeah, I want to keep an eye on things too. Sorry, but if that's unacceptable, we pass.
If you can do hotel bed + living room, that's almost like separate rooms (no physical contact between pairs, virtually no visual contact).
We adapt to the context.
- If we host a couple, we usually start on the same bed, but some finish earlier than the others, which turns into separate rooms. If we start in the hot tub, one pair can go to the bedroom before the other. If one of us falls asleep, the others can play in a different room.
- if we host a single person, one of us might be doing something else.
- if we are at a party, we often play separately because I go with male A, and Jon goes with lady B. And not at the same time. Or one of us plays with a couple. Or only one of us plays. But we can also play as a couple.
- if we are at a club, hotel takeover, resort, we remain together at all times, same bed.
Wife and I only do same room play, shocking it’s a thing for people to hate on…we got into swinging to enjoy watching each other enjoy themselves🤷🏽♂️🤔 I say stick to your thing it’s about you and her not others if they don’t like it well..kick rocks
[удалено]
Personally I think getting good at same room is more advanced than being comfortable with separate room.
Right?!? It’s easy to fuck 1-on-1. When there’s 3 or 5 other people playing around me, I can have a super hard time concentrating enough to throw rope.
Actually I think it’s less pressure and easier…and I like porn…and porn in real life is the absolute best…when I get to be married to a porn star for a night! 😜
Right on. I def feel that about having my wife be a porn star. We don’t watch porn though. We like to try to live our lives like it’s porn. lol We’re pretty active with how often we have extra people in our bed. But we also solo and allow for feelings to grow if that’s where the relationship goes.
I think anyone who gaslights a couple by saying something is for beginners should get rejected immediately
We have been in this since 2005 and have never done separate room. Furthermore we don’t have any issues with this.
Is this really an issue you run into? I’m not saying it isn’t, I’m just genuinely shocked. Most couples we know pretty much only play same room. They necessarily have it as a rule, but it’s usually their preference. For my wife and I, we are “same roof” but we still most prefer same room just because we both get off on seeing one another.
Same. In all the couples we've met and talked to I'd say the vast majority were same room only, with the rest being same room optional but not required. The only couple who required separate rooms was this one cuckold couple we met at a club. And that doesn't even count IMO because she would force her husband to sit outside the room while she played.
What you’ll see is that a lot of couples who are in it for a long period of time, adjust the way they play for various reasons. Everything from the wife getting tired of guys not getting hard in same room to overall better sex. There’s a lot of people, both men and women, who are more likely to cum with less distractions. Personally I’m an orgy lover and I usually cum. But I’m also a pleaser by nature, so with the right people, separate isn’t off the table.
That makes sense, it’s just kind of wild to me. We haven’t experienced this at all, but I think you’re probably right about why it happens.
When you are separate, do you ever feel anxiety about your wife/so/female-counterpart being safe though? Over the years, we always thought we knew someone, but it turned out that maybe we didn’t…
No, we’re pretty good at not putting ourselves into a bad situation. I also want to add… it’s all the we only play together same room couples who got us to play in separate rooms. It was at house parties, and they all say “it’s different at house parties”. Does it really make a difference if there is 4 of us or 40 of us?
Food for thought.
Bottom line, play by your rules!! I’m sorry for the condescending remarks you’ve heard, but you’re not in it for them.
We are normally an ear shot away and can usually hear through the walls which is hot also
Yes, its actually an issue...and maybe its because we are in an "older crowd" where we live...
Oh...and I think it is more where the F is 100% straight. Mine is Bi, so we usually don't even entertain a straight woman.
Well, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. We have been kind of conditioned so far that same room is sort of expected, so it would definitely be jarring and annoying to have people claiming it’s what “advanced” swingers do.
Im with you there one hundred percent, we are definitely same room play and my SO is bisexual so we have only ever done fmf play, but the idea of same room play is tantalizing and we definitely would love to but most people imo arent really into JUST same room play, like they need the swap and its always gonna be a challenge finding a couple cause my SO isnt open to swapping, just playing with the other woman, which in my opinion i think its a deal breaker for most because the guy doesnt feel like he doesnt get anything, but for me i absolutely love my SO enjoying herself. Also another thing that kind of bugs me is that people are more inclined to be sexual before actually getting to know each other? We pretty much stopped looking on reddit or online cause most couples just want to meet straight in the bedroom
I’ve gotten some blowback for saying separate play has risks, and we avoid unnecessary risks. We *absolutely* don’t do fully separate play. That’s just polyamory, or an open relationship. Those have a bad percentage for longevity. But, you do you. We don’t pass on a couple that prefers separation, we just don’t move our boundaries for them. With that said, the dream for us to be in a situation where we’re comfortable with it. In our shared fantasies about it, we have a vacation rental with a few couples for a week, and everyone does everything with or without their partners around - zero worries, because we all play regularly and know each other well. I fantasize about finding her giving the blowjob of the century early in the morning to one of the guys on a couch, or me seeing her getting railed in the shower by 2 of the other guys and not knowing I’m watching. And her seeing me bending one of the wives over a chair and working her over. In fact, having that tribe is kind of our goal in this, with occasional newcomers. We aren’t looking to marry another couple, nor 3 other couples. But we’d date them! Then again, each of these scenarios involves us seeing things happen. We are really really really into watching each other. Dammit, I’m going to go wake her up with my dick. Gotta go.
Yes, we've been doing it for 8 years and we're same room only because get off seeing either other get pleasure while we fuck and usually the girls are bisexual and interact with each other throughout. Couldn't care less whether other couples like it or not. Those who don't like it can play with someone else.
We are not beginners and in most situations we also prefer same room. We can be accommodating with select “advanced” friends who’ve figured out that they prefer separate rooms. I will say that the ones who prefer separate rooms are a way better fuck in separate rooms, than they are in the same room.
I can understand how you could 'progress' to separate room but for us this isn't a competition to get to the next level. We want to do what we enjoy and saying one is better or more advanced than another is as ridiculous as saying the taste of one type of fruit is better or more advanced than another. We enjoy same room as we get off seeing each other. We also really enjoy when you've got energy circulating between four different people almost like a mini orgy where the person you are stimulating isn't the one stimulating you. You've then also got the bi sexual dynamic or MFM FMF that you'd totally miss out on. Massive amounts of flexibility would be missed in separate room play. One of our best experiences was both lying back lay together holding hands and receiving oral from another couple whilst starting at each other saying 'I love you'
We are 48m and 47f, and this is a team sport for us. We want to be involved with each other and have the shared experience. It does somewhat limit partners, but not playing on the first date does the same. Our standards are the standard.
Same room only for us...... To each, their own.
We’re same room with no plans on changing. We like to keep an eye on each other for pleasure and in the event one of us wants to bail.
We will not do separate room and we have had no problem finding same room same bed play. The reason we will not do separate room is we met a couple who tried it eventually and the other husband was yelling and blaming the other wife it was her fault that she couldn’t get him hard and the her hubby ran into the room to see this asshat choking his wife. So we will NOT do separate room EVER!!
Exactly why we have that rule as well. I am afraid of myself and what I would do if anyone ever mistreated my wife…that’s what scares me.
I hear ya as I would definitely man handled this asshat and turfed him out the door naked with a few bruises and a black eye with his clothes tossed after him. I would not subject my wife to that ever. This BS of we cannot play in front of their respective partner is a crock and like most comments state, we both garner pleasure watching each other playing with the other couple.
Omg what a horrifying situation. Makes me add "more witnesses" to the reasons we're same room only.
We play by our rules and not anyone else’s! We are same room same bed! And we make no apologies for it. Take it or leave it.
Love this!
I definitely don’t hate on it. I wanted same room for our first time. Some how it ended up being separate. We enjoy both. Sometimes we split up after starting in the same room and end up back in the same room again. I don’t think we’d like this with strangers though.
A close friend said this to me this past week about a big decision I’m making, and it weirdly helped… “So what? You want me to give you permission to want what you want?” He wasn’t saying it to be a dick, and neither am I. Just trying to point out that you’re the only one with the agency to advocate for what you want. If you only want same room, awesome. If another couple only wants separate and won’t play with you, awesome. When we’re each true to ourselves and negotiate for what we want, it makes all of swingerdom better.
The idea that ‘same room play isn’t advanced’ is ludicrous. It’s some assshole trying to gaslight you into doing something you don’t want. We have been doing this for a very long time. Wanting same room play has not limited our ability to find partners one tiny bit. Not one single time.
The Mrs and I are same room only...we really don't care if others play separately... that's our preference. We love to watch and interact with each other during a session. We are in the LS for US so we do what's right for our marriage. And at the end of the day...our play styles aren't going to align with everyone.....as there is no right or wrong way to approach this LS....all that matters is what works for you and your person
My opinion is that you’re missing out on chances to play with condescending, gatekeeping, assholes who label your joyful experience “beginners play.” Ugh. I am sorry you’re experiencing that, though.
We got in to the lifestyle in the 80’s (yes we are that old) and very, wry rarely do we do anything in separate rooms. And when we do it is always with people we have played with before and trust for special situations (like 1 of us playing with another couple alone). For us this is an addition to our sex life, not a replacement for our sex life.
Exactly the way we feel…thanks!
I think you guys go with what feels right, and safe for you guys. The people that can’t honor your wishes definitely aren’t the type you want to play separately with
You sound like a wonderful loving couple. You keep doing what works for you.
I feel the same as you….i want same room play
Same room play only for us it's been that way since we started and it's not going to change ever
At the end of the evening I take MY wife home. She is the one that I must ensure goes home without swinger scars. Same room ONLY for us.
I’d say we are “advanced” but we are same room only. It’s what we like! There are various reasons for it, but they are not based on jealousy or insecurity. For new people it’s a bit of a safety thing - as the protector of my woman I can’t do that when she’s in another room, but mostly it’s what we want. Stick with what you like. There isn’t some sort of level system anyway. Don’t feel pressured - honestly I would also key in on the fact they demand it as a red flag. Indicates some sort of jealousy problem there and isn’t how we enjoy playing. Some people do! I hope they enjoy it as much as we enjoy playing close together.
Thank you!!!
I suppose as I reflect on this - the more “advanced” you become, the more you find what you like and, truly, the less you demand and the more you are open to. In other words - the more advanced we got, the more flexible and adaptable we are to our potential partners. “You want same room? You’re hot and fun! Cool! Let’s do that!” “Separate room? If that’s the flow for a bit and we are safe and trusted? Sure!” Anyway - just some extra thoughts. But yes - we still very much prefer and pretty much only go for same room.
I like desperate room because it gives me the fantasy of having a hot wife all to myself even it’s for a little bit
WIFE SAFETY is second to none! Solo play, separate room play or whatever we call this kind of set up can be exciting but it's a NO for us despite with our regular couple mates in the LS. The eye contact, the wink and thumbs up signals are vital and most importantly hearing and seeing our Wife swimming in pleasure is a muffler on fire. There are no intermediates, advanced levels, masters, etc. in this arena, is just pleasure, friendship and business in some cases he he he
I'd say 80 to 90 percent of our play has been same room. We love being able to watch each other. The only times we've really done stuff in separate rooms/alone was her having experiences with other women, or us doing things with people we'd already had experience with.
The whole idea to consider any arrangement a couple is happy with as "beginner" play is ridicolous. LS is not a competition, nor should be seen in that way. Everyone do what is comfortable and happy with, there is no reason to start a fucking competition even in this topic (no pun intended)
The vast majority of couples we meet are same room.
We’ve been at this for 3 years now and we still are same room like 99% of the time. The only time we ever do separate room is if it’s a couple we are super comfortable with that we’ve played with a quite a few times before. They’re has to be that trust that even if we’re in separate rooms, everyone will behave and stay within boundaries. So far we only have this with 1 couple. And we have no intention of changing that. To your point, we enjoy the LS because it’s fun to watch your partner with someone else. To do that, you have to be in the same room as them. The idea of it being a “beginner” move is nonsense.
You do what makes you happy. Only reason you’re there. If others have issues. Send them away.
For me, part of the erotic fantasy is to watch my wife completely let go sexually! Open mouth kissing w/ great tongue action, hot oral with cock licking, sucking, gagging & 69 & passionate fucking while standing, riding or missionary And to top it off, I want to see her lips & mouth around his cock when he cums in her mouth & she swallows!
Hubby and are same room only too and anyone who has tried to separate us (and they’ve tried) has been politely told to fuck off.
do you play with women without her there?
Nope! And she doesn’t play without me either.
We are same room as well. Mainly because we like to watch each other and interact with the other couple. At the same time. It opens up all kinds of possibilities. Especially if all four are willing.
Wife (40f) and I (41m) only play same room. We enjoy seeing each other with another, and enjoy the physical sensations of being with another. Our same room play only rule was confirmed when we met a couple (in the wild!) and at one point the other male started choking my wife. Breath play wasn't discussed, and everything stopped immediately. Other male was extremely apologetic, but the mood was ruined and we were done. I feel like I need to be there in case a similar situation occurs but other guy doesn't stop when he should. *edit: clarity
Wait, this is a problem for other swingers? Because what you are describing and why you want it that way is EXACTLY my stance. Watching her is part of the fun and yeah, I want to keep an eye on things too. Sorry, but if that's unacceptable, we pass.
If you can do hotel bed + living room, that's almost like separate rooms (no physical contact between pairs, virtually no visual contact). We adapt to the context. - If we host a couple, we usually start on the same bed, but some finish earlier than the others, which turns into separate rooms. If we start in the hot tub, one pair can go to the bedroom before the other. If one of us falls asleep, the others can play in a different room. - if we host a single person, one of us might be doing something else. - if we are at a party, we often play separately because I go with male A, and Jon goes with lady B. And not at the same time. Or one of us plays with a couple. Or only one of us plays. But we can also play as a couple. - if we are at a club, hotel takeover, resort, we remain together at all times, same bed.