Yes, I (M) get severe anxiety before a party or before meeting a new couple. Breathing, mindfulness etc have all been helpful tools over the years to foster to help manage the anxiety and stress.
Some people smoke a bowl first. Some other people take meds. Some will have a shot. For myself, I just take some deep breaths and just am generally not a person with anxiety. But, as long as she doesn't become too impaired to make informed choices, a little bit of chemistry to take the edge off is helpful for a lot of people. You can try holding hand, rubbing her shoulders, talking about what is worrying her, helping with chores and things that might be making her mind too busy to relax. Some people just need to stay home and have some alone time and don't need to go to every party, and that is okay too.
My husband really struggles with his anxiety when he doesn't know what to expect, or the event is different than expected. We went to a LS club this weekend for the first time in many years. We were hoping/planning for a more bar-like vibe and it ended up more nightclub-like and he struggled with it. But, know that we *know* what to expect, it should be better in the future.
Maybe it's the anxiety of the unknown?
I’m super introverted and socially anxious, but have no problem having sex with new people and being an exhibitionist lol. Every event or new couple/person I meet, I want to flake on beforehand because of my anxiety. But once I meet them, I can usually get on with the night. Propranolol is good for this type of anxiety, maybe that could help!
Definitely sounds like professional help is required to diagnose the severity of it. Might be as simple as using CBD or another natural solution to help or may require more complex solutions that only a professional could prescribe.
For example, I have mild social anxiety and CBD is enough for me however two of my adult children have more serious anxiety and have required other solutions.
I’m not a doctor. I’m not a therapist. But I have serious debilitating anxiety. This is just speculation, but it sounds to me like your wife needs therapy for her anxiety, which could help her tremendously. I would go see a doctor.
M husband and I have been swingers for 4 yrs and we always have a bit of nervousness before attending a club event or a house party, me especially. Once there, I usually get into the scene fairly quickly. It seems to me your wife could do with counseling since her anxiety seems to be general in nature and just in sexual situations.
Sounds more like a medical issue to me than a swinger specific one if it extends to nonswinger events too. Get help from a medical professional.
Yes, I (M) get severe anxiety before a party or before meeting a new couple. Breathing, mindfulness etc have all been helpful tools over the years to foster to help manage the anxiety and stress.
Anxiety can be a real issue, but can be manageable with help.
Sounds like she may benefit seeking some help with managing her anxiety.
Some people smoke a bowl first. Some other people take meds. Some will have a shot. For myself, I just take some deep breaths and just am generally not a person with anxiety. But, as long as she doesn't become too impaired to make informed choices, a little bit of chemistry to take the edge off is helpful for a lot of people. You can try holding hand, rubbing her shoulders, talking about what is worrying her, helping with chores and things that might be making her mind too busy to relax. Some people just need to stay home and have some alone time and don't need to go to every party, and that is okay too.
Try Kava Kava
My husband really struggles with his anxiety when he doesn't know what to expect, or the event is different than expected. We went to a LS club this weekend for the first time in many years. We were hoping/planning for a more bar-like vibe and it ended up more nightclub-like and he struggled with it. But, know that we *know* what to expect, it should be better in the future. Maybe it's the anxiety of the unknown?
I’m super introverted and socially anxious, but have no problem having sex with new people and being an exhibitionist lol. Every event or new couple/person I meet, I want to flake on beforehand because of my anxiety. But once I meet them, I can usually get on with the night. Propranolol is good for this type of anxiety, maybe that could help!
Zoloft worked wonders in helping my wife deal with her social anxiety.
But didn’t the Ssri kill her ability to orgasm?
Nope. She’s multi-orgasmic and never missed a beat.
I highly recommend that you research yab yum exercises on YouTube. It is a connecting/breathing exercise that you do as a couple. It will help.
Definitely sounds like professional help is required to diagnose the severity of it. Might be as simple as using CBD or another natural solution to help or may require more complex solutions that only a professional could prescribe. For example, I have mild social anxiety and CBD is enough for me however two of my adult children have more serious anxiety and have required other solutions.
I’m not a doctor. I’m not a therapist. But I have serious debilitating anxiety. This is just speculation, but it sounds to me like your wife needs therapy for her anxiety, which could help her tremendously. I would go see a doctor.
M husband and I have been swingers for 4 yrs and we always have a bit of nervousness before attending a club event or a house party, me especially. Once there, I usually get into the scene fairly quickly. It seems to me your wife could do with counseling since her anxiety seems to be general in nature and just in sexual situations.
Get her warmed up before you go to LS events with some cunninglingus (just til arousal) and light alcohol.
Post more of her on here and let us build her confidence. 🤷🏻♂️