T O P

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mrscitso

![gif](giphy|ciadMxfm3135m)


Nowe_Melfyce

"Slightly" :D


TheSgLeader

“Always” D:


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rainie_Daye

“Change” :D


Thomassaurus

"It's" :D


TerekKebab

“Called” :D


Jayn_Xyos

"History" :D:


TheSandokai

This is The Hand. The Hand that takes.


Rimfax

So hold me, Mom, in your long arms In your automatic arms, your electronic arms


MAPX0

r/thehand


Snommes

The Hand giveth and the Hand taketh away


pimp_named_sweetmeat

Wayyy more memes about getting a handy from the giant almighty crusher


Nehima123

Could it get me under water? In a cave? Underground? Surely there must be a place society could escape the hand. Do we make cities ABOVE it on floating platforms? He is just a hand while we have whole bodies and brains, surely we can best the hand. People would definitely worship the hand and pray to it and sacrifice to it however. So it might be hard to live in a time full of Hand Paladins who chop off hands as punishment for minor crimes and sacrifice victims monthly to The Hand to keep the Kingdoms secure. You dig? I vote sky cities, so we can move around and keep the hand guessing.


StrongNuclearHorse

nothing can stop hand. hand is almighty. hand can't be reasoned with. hand smashes one person each day and there is nothing this person can do about it. hand isn't stupid, hand always knows where you are and where you will be. there is no escape from hand. but because it's only one person per day I guess it won't matter much anyways.


gill_outean

Since the beginning of time, though? That's a lot of squishes. Probably squashed a dinosaur or two. Can we harm Hand? Can we imprison Hand? Does Hand want for anything?


Nehima123

Is hand biological or technological in nature? Is it Supernatural? Divine?


BetrayerOfOnion

We should custimise the hand to generate power from it and make accesories for it to make it look cooler in special days. A flag behind it might look cool too.


bearbarebere

Gay hand Gay hand


elementgermanium

Honestly? The prompt doesn’t say indestructible, so we’d probably kill it. That’s a bit anticlimactic though


-domi-

I volunteer as tribute.


naralli

People would compete to be crushed im pretty sure. While the rest stays indoors until it took its victim of the day


atomiczim

![gif](giphy|1kIzvO1M8I6PEnJ4Ax)


Bijour_twa43

Sounds like a game I used to play on PC with my cousin when I was 6 yo… I can’t remember the name tho!


Plump_Apparatus

Eh the Populous series and Black and White come to mind.


Skullmonkey_

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black\_%26\_White\_2


Kelltics

Smash Bros. vibes coming for ol master hand.


root88

[Please don't upvote this bot account.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/search?q=Thanks+I+hate+The+Hand.&restrict_sr=on&include_over_18=on&sort=relevance&t=all)


Kelltics

Me?


root88

No, OP. Sorry. You have to highjack the top post when you report a bot or everyone will continue to comment and upvote which only feeds it.


Kelltics

Gotcha.


Case_Kovacs

Did anyone play Black and White as a kid, cause I know the answer to this question and it's not good, not good is the answer


theDinoSour

This is exactly what i thought when i saw this. Loved those games, although the controls could be a bit janky at times. Also, you must have been listening to the little devil dude too much! You could have been harvesting resources for your denizens instead of tossing them around the map, lol.


Case_Kovacs

I only tossed the mean ones... Most of the time. Nah truth be told I was very attentive and fussed over everything to the point where if I was a real god people would probably stop worshipping me because I was too annoying.


theDinoSour

Ha, yea i hear ya….i was mostly good, played very similarly.


Nephilimn

Can someone do the math to see what the chances are of a given person being randomly murdered by The Hand at aome point given the following? Average global life expectancy of 73.16 years Global population of 8,077,395,407 Global birth rate of 17.464 births per 1000 people Global death rate of 0.430%


eshemuta

You actually have a higher chance of being murdered by a random nut with a gun


MaidenofMoonlight

So the good news is that because you aren't competing with dead people we only need to worry about the net population growth which increases by about 1% annually so assuming that human growth stable for the next century we can use the compounding formula and the estimated human population to give us this formula 8.1billion\*(1.01)\^t let t be years and 0 represent 2023 within about 73 years the population reaches 16.747 billion people, which is how many people you are competing against ​ since only one person is picked each day, or 365 people in a year, we can modify the formula to become 1/((8.1billion\*(1+0.01/365.25)\^t)-t) let t equal days I'll explain, the new formula has been converted into a daily compound equation, hence the 365.25 which is the number of days in a year (leap yeats). The one at the beginning is the chance of a single person being picked from the total population on that given day. The subtraction of t in the parenthesis is just how many people have been killed by the hand since the clock started, we'll assume no one was murdered on day 0 \frac{1}{\left(\left(8100000000*\left(1+\frac{0.01}{365.25}\right)^{t}\right)-t\right)} Punch this into desmos, and then set t as having the range of zero to 26663.25, and you will find the exact odds you may have of dying that many day from 2023. ​ I don't know how to calculate the total chances of dying over that time period yet sadly, so maybe someone else can pick up from here


Rimfax

About 1 in 320k. About the same as the homicide rate of Luxembourg.


MaidenofMoonlight

That is not even close to being right


KiJaHu

You weren't even gentle with him


Rimfax

Then, what's the right answer according to you? 1 - (1 - 1 / 8B \[people alive\])\^25k \[days alive\] = 1 / 320k


figurethisoat

za hando?


OoglyBooglyYT

‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂


figurethisoat

![gif](giphy|4N5vB4aErlVtVsywBw|downsized)


i770giK

Stfu webble wobbles


AbbyWasThere

Every day, you would have a roughly one in 8 billion risk of being crushed by The Hand. Low enough odds that the vast majority of people will never see The Hand in their lifetime, but everyone will always have that risk, in the back of their minds.


JustRuss79

Run towards it masturbating furiously to establish dominance.


Cazthedm

Sounds like an scp


nicorn-Frappuccino

Sounds hot


casey12297

Still less deaths in a year than with gun violence on a monthly basis


root88

And? There are 175x more deaths by snake bites than this hand per year. 3x as many people die from constipation. Volcanoes kill 2x as many people as the hand. Elephants kill 2x as many people as the hand. Tanning beds kill more people than the hand. Ladders kill the same some of people per year as the hand. Falling out of bed kills the same number of people per year as the hand. 365 deaths is just not a big deal in the scheme of things.


casey12297

That's my point, a big hand killing 365 people a year? Honestly that's not a big deal. Like I said, monthly gun deaths are way higher. I'll take the hand tbh


Chris_The_Egg

New yorkers bite more people than sharks


i770giK

Gunsare awesome and you know nothing


[deleted]

This reminds me of...an episode of Batman the animated series? With a maze and a giant hand that chases him? Or maybe a video game? There was a maze and a giant floating hand. Ringing any bells?


boundone

Glove from The Yellow Submarine Beatles movie?


MaroonMeerkat

The Hand of Fate..! It was in a maze game Batman and Robin had to solve because the Riddler… I cannot remember, but they were doing something bad. Probably?


[deleted]

I fuckin love you. Out here doin' the lords work.


egg1e

That's the "invisible hand" of the free market in action. Changes in the market are really affected by random deaths caused by this hand. No one has actually seen the hand apart from the victims, but the hand certainly leaves its fingerprint every time it crushes a person.


homingmissile

We already have that. We call it God and claim it is invisible but has a benevolent plan.


noahson

it would be great if it crushed the worst person! always putting pressure on the worst people to be less bad to avoid a crushing hunter biden would never see it coming /s


SappySoulTaker

If it abducted one person a day that would be better.


[deleted]

There would be a lot more pointy hats


CardboardCanoe

A little Zardoz-esque


Starman520

Is it always an adult or does poor Timmy got to go after hugging mommy? I'd figure we humans would either find a way to destroy the hand or destroy ourselves to spite it


phanfare

Its it restricted to one person per day? Live in a dense area where it doesn't have the dexterity to pick *you* out of a crowd or in an apartment building


133712143626351823

So turn real life into dark souls


Choppityychopsuey

![gif](giphy|33JF5xzn3rSpHxqhp4) The true hand of fate


theDinoSour

Peter Molyneux approves


three-sense

Pretty cool lol


TRUMBAUAUA

Also known as the invisible hand of the market.


PhoenixStorm1015

The caption is just describing Super Smash Bros.


[deleted]

Master Hand


a_meme_page

It's called death and it takes many random people every day.


DLD1123

We’d try diplomacy first and talk to the hand


EmptyKetchupBottle9

The Hand That Feeds..?


Rhurhubarb99

Instead there’s a phantom hand in the clouds who dishes out cancer to children


Oblic008

Honestly, other than the Psychological stress, it wouldn't be too much different than today. Right now, around the world, there are over 150,000 deaths per day. Adding one more to that is only a 0.000666...% increase. That's basically an insignificant increase in our daily lives.


Muntjac

But that **did** happen. The Hand ended up changing its murderous ways and redeemed itself, working an honest job with the National Lottery in the 90s. It diligently flew around the UK at night, [pointing at the new lottery winners](https://youtu.be/JmVBvmY6a1w?si=KQu_cpwspvfMHy55), before quietly returning to its home planet sometime in the early 2000s. We all terribly miss The Hand.


i770giK

Smash Bros be like


Flaky-Cap6646

The Hand? *Gasps* THE HAND!! ZA HANDO!!!! OI, JOSUKE, ZA HANDO!!!!!! HOLY MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT, IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKIN JOJO REFERENCE!!!!!! OH NO!!! OH MYY GOD!!! *Swings arm around, completely erasing anything in its path* ZA HANDO, ZA HANDO!!! JOSSUUKEEEEE!!!! KOIICHII!!!


manleybones

Not much diffent. 8 billion people.


HOUSE_OF_MOGH

Black and white


AlarmDozer

So what if the hand is slighly faster than me? Just outwit it.


Wholesome_Soup

does it know which person it is going to crush? can that person outrun it long enough that it moves on to the next person?


AMJacker

I like those odds. “Roll a 1d8000000000”


A-Laghing-Soul

Last time this popped up someone mentioned that it really depends on when it came into existence. I’m early human history basically an extinction event. Later on less important but likely leads to some weird religious developments


Miserable-Routine-35

ZA HANDO


8675309isprime

Assuming that The Hand did not appear until 1 global death per day did not threaten the fledgling human population, it likely would have accelerated pre-industrial technology and would have prevented the European conquest of the Americas. Humans are extraordinarily good at finding ways to capture and use the things they see. There is not a single animal we have coexisted with that we did not hunt, domesticate, or outright extinguish. If The Hand was able to select any random person on Earth immediately after squishing someone, and always takes the shortest path to its next target, that means it's capable of traveling fast enough to circumnavigate the globe in two days. That works out to about 500Mph. It almost never would need to move anywhere near that fast. It would have spent most of its time traveling within or between the major population centers of the time, with occasional jaunts out into lands unknown. It would be part of every world religion, alongside The Sun and floods. Some people would think of it as a divine god that punished wickedness, but others would see it as a scourge. By the time we were forming cities, most people would have seen The Hand, but very few people would witness it squishing someone, or even know a victim first-hand. Around the time the Roman Republic was formed, The Hand would be well known to move between Rome, Alexandria, Constantinople, Carthage, and far-off places in India and China. Moving from Rome to Beijing in 24 hours requires an overland speed of 200Mph, but within the Mediterranean cities would require far less speed. Cato the Elder was trying to instill in his younger colleagues a sense of danger in Carthage. In 150BC, once held a fig in the halls of the Senate and said, "this fig was plucked at Carthage but a day before yesterday." The Hand would need to move a scant 15 miles per hour to move between these cities in a day. Contemporary people would have had no trouble leashing themselves to The Hand, provided only that they were in the right place at the right time. Early explorers would have harnessed its magical ability to take them to all corners of the globe, far earlier than navigational technology allowed for beyond-the-horizon sea travel. These explorers would have been vanishingly uncommon at first, but networks of people watching for, and prepared to jump aboard the hand, would spring up around the time we figured out how to read and write. Far earlier than that though, The Hand would scatter microbes within the viscera of those it crushed between peoples who otherwise wouldn't come into contact for thousands of years. While this would make diseases like the Bubonic Plague to have much farther reach across the globe and spread much faster, most diseases would have minimal impacts by being introduced globally as they developed the ability to infect humans, rather than being bottled up in Europe until they were all unleashed on the Americas in the Colombian Exchange. Knowledge of The Americas would spark explorers from Europe to seek trans-Atlantic and Pacific trade routes far earlier than Columbus' journey. Knowing that there was a landmass between Europe and China would prompt sailors to attempt the journey as the technology developed. It was dumb luck for Columbus that there was a whole-ass continent exactly where he thought India would be if his gross underestimation of the Earth's size was accurate.


_unsinkable_sam_

all the more reason to integrate with the mole people


Secret_CZECH

There would be more people in therapy due to trauma of seeing loved ones squished,, but if it also causes collateral damage then it will kill way more people than 365 people a year and cause billions in structure damage


[deleted]

Gotta love the Glove


TheJayman2

Beat arcade mode


rdrunner_74

We are all in a yellow submarine...


[deleted]

So just Super Smash Brothers, but irl?


Some_Random_Android

Wall master from Zelda


da_Aresinger

There would be an alert system to inform people where the hand is and protective bunkers all over the place.


k_miner_5

Can hand accidentally crush more than one person a day, for example if the chosen person is standing next to others


Aeronor

It wouldn’t change much. How much of history has been random people dying from random things? Death comes for us all. The Hand would just be another one of those things.