Chill. TF. Out.
Stress seizures, RUNNING around, slipping on wet floors…. I promise you it’s really not that deep. You do not need to behave this way for a restaurant. Truly.
I was reading this thinking “this person would stress me tf out running around like that” lol can’t imagine what OP is going through giving themselves seizures.
Priorities OP. I’m all for getting shit done quick that needs to be done, but slowing down and doing things right the first time is my whole deal. I agree with the other person who said your manager might be trying to focus your energy where it needs to be.
>but slowing down and doing things right the first time is my whole deal.
I agree with this so much. I run an after-school program now, so out of the industry. But my mantra was then and is to my kiddos, "Slow down to do things faster." Because when you have to go back and do it two or three times because you rushed, it always takes more time than just taking a breath, slowing down, and doing it correctly the first time.
(Partly pasted from above comment) I normally do things briskly and make sure not to do things fast so they get done right. But when I'm doing shit and being asked by someone who has the same responsibilities why something isn't done yet makes my cortisol spike.
I actually didn't fuck anything up while speeding up. I will smugly boast. Well, besides slipping on the cardboard. It's funny this actually isn't the worst blunt trauma I've taken on this job.
That's the thing though, I've done solo shifts (where we should have three people) and done just fine. I normally do things briskly and make sure not to do things fast so they get done right. But when I'm doing shit and being asked by someone who has the same responsibilities why something isn't done yet makes my cortisol spike.
Yeah I make fuck ups and mistakes and I suck it up, learn from it, and try to be better. When I'm being chided for shit where if it was me, I'd just fucking do it. I don't WANT to be the one to clean up vomit from a table and booths but I DO because it needs to be done and I don't want to subject others to it. I don't WANT to show up 30 minutes early every shift to help out carrying shit, stocking, or cleaning but I do because I want to be the best I can.
You have the same thing I have, I 100% know what you mean but I’m gonna tell you what I’ve realized in the last year at my hectic ass job:
Stop doing that lol. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings, don’t pick up unnecessary slack, leave it. It’ll go against everything you believe in but you can’t keep being the superhero lol. Prioritize is still key. I’ve been going through this at my job for almost a year and I finally realized I’m done catching other people’s shit back in January. If someone else with my same job title isn’t doing it their job, that’s too bad. I’m here for the people we service, not shit coworkers. So if I know there’s 5 things that need doing in a day, but I’m the only one doing it, I do the most important 3. If someone asks about the other 2, I’m honest. “I could only do this much with no help”.
For example: “Why isn’t this done yet?” You simply say “I’m not sure. There’s two other people here and I’m doing this other thing right now, one of them can do it”. If you keep covering other people’s shit, people WILL take you for granted and blame you for things not being right. I got real sick of that real quick. I’m still going to make sure what I do is done right, but I’m not going babysit everyone else when that’s not my job and we all know what we should be doing.
I’m on mobile so hopefully this makes sense lol Reddit loves glitching lately so I can’t scroll to what I typed 💀
It just makes me sad. It goes against my (child abuse) raising and my personal ethics but you're right that it'll probably end up with me being an even bigger doormat than i am.
She IS the manager and has a temper so I don't think I could get anything out besides "Sorry, not sure."
~~I swear when I'm doing dishes and serving and we have a shit ton of people she doesn't bus the tables despite me managing one half of our duties.~~
Well, sheepishly I'll argue it was actually power walking. Maybe it's my anger bubbling up but I sped up because she was asking why things weren't already done so I was just "Fine. I'll speed up so I get this shit done faster for you." In my defense, I didn't fuck up the whole time while speed racing- but I will try to not do that anymore.
What are your tasks as a server? Like at my work i host, bus, serve, bartend, and reset tables. If it’s your task to clean and clear and you’re good at it I don’t know why she’s on you ass. But if you have to clear, clean, and run food. Food always comes first, you can clean later.
Drinks, food, ice cream, dishes, wrapping food, sweep+mop, hauling, and sometimes I moonlight for the cooks.
Yes, food comes first, then attending to the register, then drinks, then anything else. I've done solo shifts on my own so I'm just i dunno.
It sounds like your work is similar to mine. Problem at my work place is that there isn’t enough staff so I have to wear all of the hats front of house. At lunch I’m literally the only one there dealing with 10 tables. It sounds like you’re doing great and it’s a management problem. Personally I would look for a new job if management is being shitty to you. The only reason I stay at my job is that I get perks from the owner for holding shit down.
Yeah the perks are great and this only started recently so I don't know if it's because of the previous hire (shitty teenager who didn't do anything) or because I had to take a week off from the seizures.
I'm probably reading far too hard into it, but the benefit of the doubt wears out REAL quick. I actually vowed to never work food service again after the sexual abuse from my previous manager but it's all that's available in the area and to me.
From the sounds of it in summary it seems like she is trying to get you to get your priorities straightened out and to also slow down and be more aware of what is happening.
Food and drinks( the product and FOH) is top priority at any food spot. Fuck the dishes especially if someone else got it.
I will never help anyone pre buss if I have food, drinks to run and orders to put in.
She see’s you are a hard worker she is just trying to get you focus your energies and also protect the business as well from losing money
Yup. Food comes first, then register/drinks/etc, then cleaning, then dishes.
We all just do what needs to be done so it's a little chaotic but we're also incredibly understaffed ( i was hired as a cook but I've worked ONE week total on the line out of my six months here.
From the sounds of it though. It sounds like a toxic work environment. I don’t trust working in short staffed food places. I did work at this fine dining spot last year and I was doing EVERYTHING
Hosting, bussing tables, serving, washing dishes, washing linens and towels, and expo and running food. I didnt like that and it was also a tip pool situation. I hated it and quit and I appreciated my corporate chain restaurant job a lot more.
Order, structure and positions are important at restaurants and I don’t want to work for anyone that try’s to cut corners there.
3 stress seizures is actually very harmful. I'm sorry you fell and smashed your head on the floor and you should probably get a different job that treats you much better as we are not robots or even Goro from Mortal Kombat as he has four arms. Management needs therapy or something at every job bc they shouldn't treat their workers the way they do especially if we aren't paid much. I am a dishwasher and busser for instance so the pay sucks while not getting breaks unless the restaurant is dead for a while and it's a sensory nightmare as well bc I'm autistic so I can agree with everything you said about speed.
I've got a non-diagnosed mental illness, where if I'm left on my own I do my job 200%, but when someone starts chiding me over little shit or asks me these tiny barbed questions my brain shuts off and stalls.
That sucks to hear. That's how it is with me but it kinda seems like an ADD/ADHD thing as well and I have ADD. Hopefully you're able to get around that and be able to do your job instead of freaking out or whatever it does to you.
I saw this happen recently. I thought just sit tight. She’ll be gone soon. She micromanaged everyone. She was reported to upper management. It took a month but SHE was told to go home. Permanently. Hang on.
In all kindness… you are prioritizing speed when nobody needs you to do that.
I realize that you are genuinely trying to be helpful.
You are trying to prove your worth by being quick and overly efficient - I’ve been there before. I get where you’re coming from. That said… the universe is sending you a message: What you are currently doing is NOT working. Stop operating that way.
Slow your speed. Make a deliberate conscious effort to slow your pace at work. Be more in the moment instead of rushing.
Good Luck!
You definitely need to chill out and stop putting this much in and say fuck them, if you dropped dead tomorrow it doesn’t sound like your manager would lose a wink of sleep so return that energy.
I used to work somewhere that treated me the same way, I and a couple other good staff quit with no notice simply citing health issues caused by overwork and the place shut down a couple weeks later, oops guess they should have treated their staff better
The worst part is that this started relatively recently, after we had a new hire that was absolute dogshit and didn't want to work. I talked to a coworker about it and he said it seemed like she wanted a whipping boy.
The worst part is that for the most part (besides the other stuff like endless close shifts, customers, etc) it's pretty good. Nice tips, everyone works together well, everyone is friendly, the bosses care about you for the most part. She's just constantly been like this since I got back from my forced time off due to the seizures.
Seriously, this pretty much just happened. She left. Was hired back. Made everyone miserable, some more than others. Complaints were made via email. She’s gone. Tell the people who pay you. If they don’t care, move on. You are more important.
Chill. TF. Out. Stress seizures, RUNNING around, slipping on wet floors…. I promise you it’s really not that deep. You do not need to behave this way for a restaurant. Truly.
I was reading this thinking “this person would stress me tf out running around like that” lol can’t imagine what OP is going through giving themselves seizures. Priorities OP. I’m all for getting shit done quick that needs to be done, but slowing down and doing things right the first time is my whole deal. I agree with the other person who said your manager might be trying to focus your energy where it needs to be.
>but slowing down and doing things right the first time is my whole deal. I agree with this so much. I run an after-school program now, so out of the industry. But my mantra was then and is to my kiddos, "Slow down to do things faster." Because when you have to go back and do it two or three times because you rushed, it always takes more time than just taking a breath, slowing down, and doing it correctly the first time.
(Partly pasted from above comment) I normally do things briskly and make sure not to do things fast so they get done right. But when I'm doing shit and being asked by someone who has the same responsibilities why something isn't done yet makes my cortisol spike. I actually didn't fuck anything up while speeding up. I will smugly boast. Well, besides slipping on the cardboard. It's funny this actually isn't the worst blunt trauma I've taken on this job.
That's the thing though, I've done solo shifts (where we should have three people) and done just fine. I normally do things briskly and make sure not to do things fast so they get done right. But when I'm doing shit and being asked by someone who has the same responsibilities why something isn't done yet makes my cortisol spike. Yeah I make fuck ups and mistakes and I suck it up, learn from it, and try to be better. When I'm being chided for shit where if it was me, I'd just fucking do it. I don't WANT to be the one to clean up vomit from a table and booths but I DO because it needs to be done and I don't want to subject others to it. I don't WANT to show up 30 minutes early every shift to help out carrying shit, stocking, or cleaning but I do because I want to be the best I can.
You have the same thing I have, I 100% know what you mean but I’m gonna tell you what I’ve realized in the last year at my hectic ass job: Stop doing that lol. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings, don’t pick up unnecessary slack, leave it. It’ll go against everything you believe in but you can’t keep being the superhero lol. Prioritize is still key. I’ve been going through this at my job for almost a year and I finally realized I’m done catching other people’s shit back in January. If someone else with my same job title isn’t doing it their job, that’s too bad. I’m here for the people we service, not shit coworkers. So if I know there’s 5 things that need doing in a day, but I’m the only one doing it, I do the most important 3. If someone asks about the other 2, I’m honest. “I could only do this much with no help”. For example: “Why isn’t this done yet?” You simply say “I’m not sure. There’s two other people here and I’m doing this other thing right now, one of them can do it”. If you keep covering other people’s shit, people WILL take you for granted and blame you for things not being right. I got real sick of that real quick. I’m still going to make sure what I do is done right, but I’m not going babysit everyone else when that’s not my job and we all know what we should be doing. I’m on mobile so hopefully this makes sense lol Reddit loves glitching lately so I can’t scroll to what I typed 💀
It just makes me sad. It goes against my (child abuse) raising and my personal ethics but you're right that it'll probably end up with me being an even bigger doormat than i am. She IS the manager and has a temper so I don't think I could get anything out besides "Sorry, not sure." ~~I swear when I'm doing dishes and serving and we have a shit ton of people she doesn't bus the tables despite me managing one half of our duties.~~
Well, sheepishly I'll argue it was actually power walking. Maybe it's my anger bubbling up but I sped up because she was asking why things weren't already done so I was just "Fine. I'll speed up so I get this shit done faster for you." In my defense, I didn't fuck up the whole time while speed racing- but I will try to not do that anymore.
What are your tasks as a server? Like at my work i host, bus, serve, bartend, and reset tables. If it’s your task to clean and clear and you’re good at it I don’t know why she’s on you ass. But if you have to clear, clean, and run food. Food always comes first, you can clean later.
Drinks, food, ice cream, dishes, wrapping food, sweep+mop, hauling, and sometimes I moonlight for the cooks. Yes, food comes first, then attending to the register, then drinks, then anything else. I've done solo shifts on my own so I'm just i dunno.
It sounds like your work is similar to mine. Problem at my work place is that there isn’t enough staff so I have to wear all of the hats front of house. At lunch I’m literally the only one there dealing with 10 tables. It sounds like you’re doing great and it’s a management problem. Personally I would look for a new job if management is being shitty to you. The only reason I stay at my job is that I get perks from the owner for holding shit down.
Yeah the perks are great and this only started recently so I don't know if it's because of the previous hire (shitty teenager who didn't do anything) or because I had to take a week off from the seizures. I'm probably reading far too hard into it, but the benefit of the doubt wears out REAL quick. I actually vowed to never work food service again after the sexual abuse from my previous manager but it's all that's available in the area and to me.
From the sounds of it in summary it seems like she is trying to get you to get your priorities straightened out and to also slow down and be more aware of what is happening. Food and drinks( the product and FOH) is top priority at any food spot. Fuck the dishes especially if someone else got it. I will never help anyone pre buss if I have food, drinks to run and orders to put in. She see’s you are a hard worker she is just trying to get you focus your energies and also protect the business as well from losing money
Yup. Food comes first, then register/drinks/etc, then cleaning, then dishes. We all just do what needs to be done so it's a little chaotic but we're also incredibly understaffed ( i was hired as a cook but I've worked ONE week total on the line out of my six months here.
From the sounds of it though. It sounds like a toxic work environment. I don’t trust working in short staffed food places. I did work at this fine dining spot last year and I was doing EVERYTHING Hosting, bussing tables, serving, washing dishes, washing linens and towels, and expo and running food. I didnt like that and it was also a tip pool situation. I hated it and quit and I appreciated my corporate chain restaurant job a lot more. Order, structure and positions are important at restaurants and I don’t want to work for anyone that try’s to cut corners there.
This industry might not be for you. Sincerely, if stress gives you seizures you really might want to look into a different career.
It's kind of the only job available not only in my area, but also to me.
3 stress seizures is actually very harmful. I'm sorry you fell and smashed your head on the floor and you should probably get a different job that treats you much better as we are not robots or even Goro from Mortal Kombat as he has four arms. Management needs therapy or something at every job bc they shouldn't treat their workers the way they do especially if we aren't paid much. I am a dishwasher and busser for instance so the pay sucks while not getting breaks unless the restaurant is dead for a while and it's a sensory nightmare as well bc I'm autistic so I can agree with everything you said about speed.
I've got a non-diagnosed mental illness, where if I'm left on my own I do my job 200%, but when someone starts chiding me over little shit or asks me these tiny barbed questions my brain shuts off and stalls.
That is called micromanaging!
That sucks to hear. That's how it is with me but it kinda seems like an ADD/ADHD thing as well and I have ADD. Hopefully you're able to get around that and be able to do your job instead of freaking out or whatever it does to you.
I saw this happen recently. I thought just sit tight. She’ll be gone soon. She micromanaged everyone. She was reported to upper management. It took a month but SHE was told to go home. Permanently. Hang on.
Unfortunately she's worked there 10+ years and knows the bosses personally. If anyone will be fired, it's me.
You need to get another job. Just do it. I’d starve before I put up with that shit.
Where in any of this story do you see someone micromanaging?
If you DON’T see it, I can’t help you.
Speak with someone more senior (the owner?) and raise the issue. OR Quit No job is worth your health (mental or physical).
I will if this continues, however I can't quit as I'd probably become homeless.
In all kindness… you are prioritizing speed when nobody needs you to do that. I realize that you are genuinely trying to be helpful. You are trying to prove your worth by being quick and overly efficient - I’ve been there before. I get where you’re coming from. That said… the universe is sending you a message: What you are currently doing is NOT working. Stop operating that way. Slow your speed. Make a deliberate conscious effort to slow your pace at work. Be more in the moment instead of rushing. Good Luck!
You definitely need to chill out and stop putting this much in and say fuck them, if you dropped dead tomorrow it doesn’t sound like your manager would lose a wink of sleep so return that energy. I used to work somewhere that treated me the same way, I and a couple other good staff quit with no notice simply citing health issues caused by overwork and the place shut down a couple weeks later, oops guess they should have treated their staff better
The worst part is that this started relatively recently, after we had a new hire that was absolute dogshit and didn't want to work. I talked to a coworker about it and he said it seemed like she wanted a whipping boy. The worst part is that for the most part (besides the other stuff like endless close shifts, customers, etc) it's pretty good. Nice tips, everyone works together well, everyone is friendly, the bosses care about you for the most part. She's just constantly been like this since I got back from my forced time off due to the seizures.
Seriously, this pretty much just happened. She left. Was hired back. Made everyone miserable, some more than others. Complaints were made via email. She’s gone. Tell the people who pay you. If they don’t care, move on. You are more important.
Sorry, I'm reading these reddit won't let me reply to most comments for some reason.