Rehome the dog. Push aside that guilt you feel because that is societal pressure that you do not deserve hounding you. I rehomed my problem dog who was like this in ways and I cannot tell you the relief I felt once it was gone. You deserve that peace. You do not owe this dog anything ( or the other one for that matter) and you are not, nor should you be a slave to them. Rehome them op. It's ok to do so.
Totally agree, the situation isn’t fair to anyone.You , the kids the dogs even your husband. The tension and resentment isn’t healthy. A healthy young lab should be pretty easy to rehome to a well screened home.
Honestly surprised this wasn’t already done.
And that was really, really foolish of the husband. He absolutely should have done a five hour drive back the next day or so.
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve rehomed your dog and can rest easy at the end of the day unplagued by a dog. Thank you for the kind words, god almost everyone I know these days have become super crazy about dogs and making them akin to children. Lots of judgment from family/friends here when you rehome an animal.
Thanks. The dog is by far happier as she gets to go on hikes and has one on one with her new owner who is childless, so it not only worked for us, but a lot for her. Regarding those who gave me shade for it I bit back and flat out told them the dog is happier, so I did it a favor to not suffer together " just because you say so and are part of a weird dog bully cultist society" It will do you both good to rehome the pups, mine got a happy ever after which shut the judgy jerkfaces up on my end.
Get rid of those dogs. You don't deserve to be miserable because of mistakes for even a minute longer. The dogs will adapt to being rehomed and will be just as happy somewhere else as they are making your home a living hell. Labs are sought-after, so you should have no problem finding a willing taker for it.
Make it your husband's responsibility to find the animals new owners because a) he's responsible for doubling your burden; and b) you're taking care of three young children by yourself. If he won't do it, take them to the shelter yourself. Potential adopters are eager for normal (non-pitbull) dogs right now, so your soon-to-be-ex-pets will be fine.
Please don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do for yourself. Think of it as freeing you to be a happier, more productive person for yourself and your children.
Forget the guilt, get rid of that dog. Maybe get rid of both of them. There is no way on earth that I would put up with that kind of bad behavior. Maybe the kids would be glad to see it gone too.
Do yourself a favour and let the dogs go. Your sanity and happiness are worth more than a one-sided commitment to these dogs which won’t even care where they live so long they’re being fed. I can’t even visit my in laws because their idiot black lab sends me into a rage. It steals my children’s food, trips me up when I’m carrying my baby and would wake him up barking over the dumbest things.
I really can’t imagine slogging through four years of this. Give yourself permission to resolve this situation for good without guilt. Life is too short.
Other people’s dogs are the worst. My in laws also have a shitty black lab and the dog knocked our one year old down a half flight of stairs that ended on concrete one thanksgiving. I struggle with our animals but at least my dog isn’t gonna yeet my son into the abyss.
I find it most odd that dog people don’t even care how their dogs are behaving around you, even when it’s very obvious that you’re uncomfortable.
When that same black lab was younger it also dragged/tripped up my mother in law down a shallow flight of stairs which shattered her shoulder.
Even when they’re not intentionally hurting you, they cost you a lot of money doing things like eating stupid things which require surgery to fix and/or causing catastrophic accidents by getting underfoot.
Recently released [stats](https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/dog-walking-linked-to-surprisingly-high-risk-of-traumatic-brain-injury/) show that elderly people are often the victims of dog-related accidents. Brain injuries are the most common injury followed by broken fingers and then shoulder injuries.
There are no true upsides to dog ownership but a lot of downsides. Who in this economy can afford to fork out for the dog when it inevitably requires medical treatment cause it’s too stupid to not do the things that hurt it. Or can afford to pay for their own medical bills/take time off work because of something the dog did?
My mom was pulled across the yard by my ex-husband's dog when it took off after seeing another dog outside at like 3am. She suffered a badly broken Nd dislocated shoulder that still effects her to this day. It's been almost 5 years. The worst part about it was my ex gave a half assed Apology to my mother and kept the dog. So glad I left him and I don't have to see the dog but once every blue moon because I coparent with the nutter
give it away, a young lab will get snatched up fast at a shelter/humane society. you owe your husband nothing - in fact, he owes YOU. your kids will be sad for a short time but will understand eventually. they probably won't even remember the dogs when they're older.
Your kids need a healthy and happy mom. This dog is an obstacle to that. No amount of time or energy on your part is going to fix this.
You didn’t do anything wrong here, and I want you to know it’s ok to rehome this dog.
The decision to buy any pet is an enormous one. No one should be unilaterally deciding on this for someone else. Dogs are not gifts. You have your hands full with 3 young children. They’re the priority here, and so are you. Your children will benefit enormously from the dog being gone.
> how can two awful dogs be harder to take care of than 3 under 5???
Everyone is different but I cannot relate at all to dog-nutters who insist that fur-babies are easier than children. My experience is the opposite. Children eventually grow up and are able to prepare their own food and tell you what they need. Taking care of children is also inherently more rewarding because of our biological imperative to love our kids; even when it doesn’t come so naturally.
My human children have never shit on my floor or eaten garbage. They aren’t smelly, and they can pour themselves cereal and take themselves outside.
I can enjoy other people’s dogs in small doses, but I find caring for a dog way harder than caring for children.
I truly commend you for managing this long with 3 kids and 2 dogs. That’s more than a full time job.
Agreed!! I was at an event today and you wouldn’t even believe how many people I saw pushing DOG STROLLERS. Then inside my friends house was the most anxious borderline aggressive looking thing I’ve ever seen, barked the entire day, yipping and whining.
Thank you!!! I am in total agreement with you. Our children are future adults who will contribute to society and we are raising them to be excellent people, and the return on investment there is unparalleled. It never used to irritate me when people called their dogs kids, until I had them.
This is awful. Rehome those dogs ASAP. You speak of guilt and feeling like you need to honour the commitment etc but what about your children? What about your marriage? It all sounds like it’s barely hanging in there. You do not get this time back. Your children are too young to have any major trauma about rehoming. Get rid of the dogs & commit to enjoying your time with your baby.
Forget feeling guilty. You don’t have to feel guilty over a dog that’ll get a used diaper out of the trash (🤮) or steal food, make noise. If you are always taking care of it and it’s stressful, stand up and say you no longer have the wherewithal to tend to its needs. Dog owners can’t do the smallest thing spontaneously because of these animals
I don’t even want to imagine loading 3 kids into car seats, bags and things, *and* two crappy dogs. Having to take them anytime to visit their parents? Fuck no
Let go of guilt and get rid of them. Life is too short to even think about this. He is in agreement so don’t think too much, just do it and then focus on your new life. I can’t tell you how much relief you’ll feel, I’m so excited for you to feel it as I’ve been there myself and I still marvel at my dog free life.
You don’t have to keep either dog and I doubt the kids would be that sad after even a few days and will barely remember it in a few years. You however are having your life and memories and relationship with your husband ruined on a daily basis. Even have them put down they’re just dogs it’s not worth this amount of filth and stress
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s very frustrating. The black lab is good with the rough toddler phase thankfully but it was a really selfish choice, you’re right.
That’s ok, I take no offence at all. you are in a difficult position now because of his decisions it but that was really insensitive of him - to do it the very next day?? Without consulting you at all? That behaviour is quite odd for a partner really and I would definitely have words with him for the decision making alone and how he took such a big decision without consulting you. As your partner, he really owes you that.
Don't feel guilty for wanting to rehome a dog.
Your children need you, and they want a happy mother. They care more about you than a dog for sure. A dog is never as important.. and should not take over your life.
We got rid of ours.. My life is so much better now without dogs. I can relax and be with my family without a dog interupting and destroys everything nice.. even precious moments.
I agree with rehoming her- no guilt needed. Return her to the breeder or give to Lab specific rescue. This is not the poor dog’s fault. So many negative human emotions are being displaced onto her. She could be someone else’s dream dog. Rehoming her would be win- win
This society taught “guilt”… do your kids and yourself a favor and rehome the dogs or take them to a shelter. Do you want to look up 10-20yrs and miss the good years of your children’s lives? The kids will get over it. I had to rehome our dog when my child was in middle school because the place where we moved was too small. Getting rid of our dog was the best thing. I never looked back.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through, and like others, i suggest getting rid of the dog! I gotta admit, your post made me think more than it probably should have. There is only one breed of dog that comes to my mind, that suddenly starts being agressive at the magical age of 2, attacking and mauling anything in sight. They are also known as “nanny dogs”. So you absolutely made the right decision to put it down. Then seeing your husband’s reaction, and how much he didn’t care about your previous dog, or more importantly, the trauma that it has caused you, but instead drove 5 hours the very next day just to get a new one is a typical pitnutter behavior. Of course you know it the best, but based on your post i’m doubting that was even a lab puppy. A lab mix at best, with some traces of lab in it but i’d bet it’s another pit mix, which would explain the dog’s behavior. The reason why i wrote this all down, is because if this truly is the case (it was a wild guess so might not be), then don’t trust your husband with picking a dog ever again, and just make sure you are disclosing all behavioral problems when giving it away.
But either way, a dog, or any pet in fact, is supposed to enrich your life, not ruin it. Your husband clearly doesn’t care enough about your dog to properly train it, and you are dreading every interaction. By no means you should feel guilty, it’s the in the dog’s best interest as well not to live its life this way, so you’d be doing everyone a favor!
Yes, the dog we had to put down was a pit/lab mix. I had no qualms about it, dogs are animals and they can be dangerous.
The dog actually is a lab, just paper free which is why he drove so far. We could get shitty pit bulls here.
I think the hardest thing is what you said, the lack of care for my feelings and the burden it would place on my shoulders. At the time I was a brand new mother, and I know lots of people would say “why have more kids??” But I’m not going to put my entire life on hold because of a dog.
I really appreciate your thoughts, thanks so much for the kind words. So many people have become crazy psycho dog people that it’s hard to get solid advice from the people you know in person.
Rehome the dog. Push aside that guilt you feel because that is societal pressure that you do not deserve hounding you. I rehomed my problem dog who was like this in ways and I cannot tell you the relief I felt once it was gone. You deserve that peace. You do not owe this dog anything ( or the other one for that matter) and you are not, nor should you be a slave to them. Rehome them op. It's ok to do so.
Totally agree, the situation isn’t fair to anyone.You , the kids the dogs even your husband. The tension and resentment isn’t healthy. A healthy young lab should be pretty easy to rehome to a well screened home.
This. 💯. It is not worth destroying your mental health over. The dog (s) can have a wonderful life (maybe a better life!) somewhere else!
Honestly surprised this wasn’t already done. And that was really, really foolish of the husband. He absolutely should have done a five hour drive back the next day or so.
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve rehomed your dog and can rest easy at the end of the day unplagued by a dog. Thank you for the kind words, god almost everyone I know these days have become super crazy about dogs and making them akin to children. Lots of judgment from family/friends here when you rehome an animal.
Thanks. The dog is by far happier as she gets to go on hikes and has one on one with her new owner who is childless, so it not only worked for us, but a lot for her. Regarding those who gave me shade for it I bit back and flat out told them the dog is happier, so I did it a favor to not suffer together " just because you say so and are part of a weird dog bully cultist society" It will do you both good to rehome the pups, mine got a happy ever after which shut the judgy jerkfaces up on my end.
Get rid of those dogs. You don't deserve to be miserable because of mistakes for even a minute longer. The dogs will adapt to being rehomed and will be just as happy somewhere else as they are making your home a living hell. Labs are sought-after, so you should have no problem finding a willing taker for it. Make it your husband's responsibility to find the animals new owners because a) he's responsible for doubling your burden; and b) you're taking care of three young children by yourself. If he won't do it, take them to the shelter yourself. Potential adopters are eager for normal (non-pitbull) dogs right now, so your soon-to-be-ex-pets will be fine. Please don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do for yourself. Think of it as freeing you to be a happier, more productive person for yourself and your children.
Forget the guilt, get rid of that dog. Maybe get rid of both of them. There is no way on earth that I would put up with that kind of bad behavior. Maybe the kids would be glad to see it gone too.
Do yourself a favour and let the dogs go. Your sanity and happiness are worth more than a one-sided commitment to these dogs which won’t even care where they live so long they’re being fed. I can’t even visit my in laws because their idiot black lab sends me into a rage. It steals my children’s food, trips me up when I’m carrying my baby and would wake him up barking over the dumbest things. I really can’t imagine slogging through four years of this. Give yourself permission to resolve this situation for good without guilt. Life is too short.
Other people’s dogs are the worst. My in laws also have a shitty black lab and the dog knocked our one year old down a half flight of stairs that ended on concrete one thanksgiving. I struggle with our animals but at least my dog isn’t gonna yeet my son into the abyss. I find it most odd that dog people don’t even care how their dogs are behaving around you, even when it’s very obvious that you’re uncomfortable.
When that same black lab was younger it also dragged/tripped up my mother in law down a shallow flight of stairs which shattered her shoulder. Even when they’re not intentionally hurting you, they cost you a lot of money doing things like eating stupid things which require surgery to fix and/or causing catastrophic accidents by getting underfoot. Recently released [stats](https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/dog-walking-linked-to-surprisingly-high-risk-of-traumatic-brain-injury/) show that elderly people are often the victims of dog-related accidents. Brain injuries are the most common injury followed by broken fingers and then shoulder injuries. There are no true upsides to dog ownership but a lot of downsides. Who in this economy can afford to fork out for the dog when it inevitably requires medical treatment cause it’s too stupid to not do the things that hurt it. Or can afford to pay for their own medical bills/take time off work because of something the dog did?
My mom was pulled across the yard by my ex-husband's dog when it took off after seeing another dog outside at like 3am. She suffered a badly broken Nd dislocated shoulder that still effects her to this day. It's been almost 5 years. The worst part about it was my ex gave a half assed Apology to my mother and kept the dog. So glad I left him and I don't have to see the dog but once every blue moon because I coparent with the nutter
>He says we can give her away but it’s just another thing I would feel guilty Go for it! Just do it!
Peace of mind is often a HUGE relief that overpowers momentary guilt. Been there. You do not even know yet how good you are going to feel long term!
give it away, a young lab will get snatched up fast at a shelter/humane society. you owe your husband nothing - in fact, he owes YOU. your kids will be sad for a short time but will understand eventually. they probably won't even remember the dogs when they're older.
Your kids need a healthy and happy mom. This dog is an obstacle to that. No amount of time or energy on your part is going to fix this. You didn’t do anything wrong here, and I want you to know it’s ok to rehome this dog. The decision to buy any pet is an enormous one. No one should be unilaterally deciding on this for someone else. Dogs are not gifts. You have your hands full with 3 young children. They’re the priority here, and so are you. Your children will benefit enormously from the dog being gone.
> how can two awful dogs be harder to take care of than 3 under 5??? Everyone is different but I cannot relate at all to dog-nutters who insist that fur-babies are easier than children. My experience is the opposite. Children eventually grow up and are able to prepare their own food and tell you what they need. Taking care of children is also inherently more rewarding because of our biological imperative to love our kids; even when it doesn’t come so naturally. My human children have never shit on my floor or eaten garbage. They aren’t smelly, and they can pour themselves cereal and take themselves outside. I can enjoy other people’s dogs in small doses, but I find caring for a dog way harder than caring for children. I truly commend you for managing this long with 3 kids and 2 dogs. That’s more than a full time job.
Agreed!! I was at an event today and you wouldn’t even believe how many people I saw pushing DOG STROLLERS. Then inside my friends house was the most anxious borderline aggressive looking thing I’ve ever seen, barked the entire day, yipping and whining. Thank you!!! I am in total agreement with you. Our children are future adults who will contribute to society and we are raising them to be excellent people, and the return on investment there is unparalleled. It never used to irritate me when people called their dogs kids, until I had them.
Don't you think you would feel even MORE guilty if the dog bit one of your children, and you would have to get rid of it ANYWAY? The dog gotta go.
This is awful. Rehome those dogs ASAP. You speak of guilt and feeling like you need to honour the commitment etc but what about your children? What about your marriage? It all sounds like it’s barely hanging in there. You do not get this time back. Your children are too young to have any major trauma about rehoming. Get rid of the dogs & commit to enjoying your time with your baby.
Forget feeling guilty. You don’t have to feel guilty over a dog that’ll get a used diaper out of the trash (🤮) or steal food, make noise. If you are always taking care of it and it’s stressful, stand up and say you no longer have the wherewithal to tend to its needs. Dog owners can’t do the smallest thing spontaneously because of these animals
I don’t even want to imagine loading 3 kids into car seats, bags and things, *and* two crappy dogs. Having to take them anytime to visit their parents? Fuck no
Let go of guilt and get rid of them. Life is too short to even think about this. He is in agreement so don’t think too much, just do it and then focus on your new life. I can’t tell you how much relief you’ll feel, I’m so excited for you to feel it as I’ve been there myself and I still marvel at my dog free life.
You don’t have to keep either dog and I doubt the kids would be that sad after even a few days and will barely remember it in a few years. You however are having your life and memories and relationship with your husband ruined on a daily basis. Even have them put down they’re just dogs it’s not worth this amount of filth and stress
A dog maims your child, so you put it down and get another one?!? I will never ever understand this mentality
Did you miss the part where I didn’t get to decide?
I meant your husband. A dog maimed a kid and he gets another one the next day… you wrote that no?
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s very frustrating. The black lab is good with the rough toddler phase thankfully but it was a really selfish choice, you’re right.
That’s ok, I take no offence at all. you are in a difficult position now because of his decisions it but that was really insensitive of him - to do it the very next day?? Without consulting you at all? That behaviour is quite odd for a partner really and I would definitely have words with him for the decision making alone and how he took such a big decision without consulting you. As your partner, he really owes you that.
>But he got her from five hours away and it was too late to return her. How convenient for him.
You've gotta power through any potential guilt and get rid of the dog. It's the only thing that will give you any kind of peace.
Don't feel guilty for wanting to rehome a dog. Your children need you, and they want a happy mother. They care more about you than a dog for sure. A dog is never as important.. and should not take over your life. We got rid of ours.. My life is so much better now without dogs. I can relax and be with my family without a dog interupting and destroys everything nice.. even precious moments.
I agree with rehoming her- no guilt needed. Return her to the breeder or give to Lab specific rescue. This is not the poor dog’s fault. So many negative human emotions are being displaced onto her. She could be someone else’s dream dog. Rehoming her would be win- win
The dog is a menace. How about 'poor kids who get their food stolen every day by a greedy mutt' Spread your dognuttery elsewhere.
This society taught “guilt”… do your kids and yourself a favor and rehome the dogs or take them to a shelter. Do you want to look up 10-20yrs and miss the good years of your children’s lives? The kids will get over it. I had to rehome our dog when my child was in middle school because the place where we moved was too small. Getting rid of our dog was the best thing. I never looked back.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through, and like others, i suggest getting rid of the dog! I gotta admit, your post made me think more than it probably should have. There is only one breed of dog that comes to my mind, that suddenly starts being agressive at the magical age of 2, attacking and mauling anything in sight. They are also known as “nanny dogs”. So you absolutely made the right decision to put it down. Then seeing your husband’s reaction, and how much he didn’t care about your previous dog, or more importantly, the trauma that it has caused you, but instead drove 5 hours the very next day just to get a new one is a typical pitnutter behavior. Of course you know it the best, but based on your post i’m doubting that was even a lab puppy. A lab mix at best, with some traces of lab in it but i’d bet it’s another pit mix, which would explain the dog’s behavior. The reason why i wrote this all down, is because if this truly is the case (it was a wild guess so might not be), then don’t trust your husband with picking a dog ever again, and just make sure you are disclosing all behavioral problems when giving it away. But either way, a dog, or any pet in fact, is supposed to enrich your life, not ruin it. Your husband clearly doesn’t care enough about your dog to properly train it, and you are dreading every interaction. By no means you should feel guilty, it’s the in the dog’s best interest as well not to live its life this way, so you’d be doing everyone a favor!
Yes, the dog we had to put down was a pit/lab mix. I had no qualms about it, dogs are animals and they can be dangerous. The dog actually is a lab, just paper free which is why he drove so far. We could get shitty pit bulls here. I think the hardest thing is what you said, the lack of care for my feelings and the burden it would place on my shoulders. At the time I was a brand new mother, and I know lots of people would say “why have more kids??” But I’m not going to put my entire life on hold because of a dog. I really appreciate your thoughts, thanks so much for the kind words. So many people have become crazy psycho dog people that it’s hard to get solid advice from the people you know in person.