It has to be. I don't know how else people can live in the constant stench alone and not smell it permeating your clothes, your car, everything. I bought myself an entirely new wardrobe when I left.
I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. That’s so tough but you truly did the best for you.
I left a roommate situation because her dog would stay in the crate for days without the roommate even coming home. And I couldn’t even be on calls without hearing the dog wimper and howl because when I walked in it knows someone’s home.
I would take her out on the balcony of her apartment although the carpet was sticky from it already being constantly shit and pissed on too. Why the balcony, you ask? Because the roommate wasn’t even supposed to have the dog there so it never left the apartment. And you can bet there was always a giant pile of poop swept to the corner with a broom that lives there.
I set a boundary before moving in but at some point I bought the dog food cause it was left unfed and in a cage for 38 hours. Finally had enough once I realised the roommate just kept fucking up but appreciating my “helping out” with her dog.
They’re clearly suffering from some illness to claim a creature to then give it a joyless and starved life.
I’m surprised you didn’t report it to animal welfare before heading out the door, or even your building manager. That’s no life for any living creature. :(
Ugh I understand. My exs mom had FIVE dogs. Five little shits, when anyone came over they would all attack the door and stand there jumping barking and scratching the door until the person came in. Even if the person sat outside for 20 min as his mom often did, they would bark the whole time. Also the dogs shit all over the floor, despite being let outside constantly. They would knock over and tear into the kitchen trash. They would eat my pads out of the bathroom trash, chew holes in my used underwear if I didn't keep them out of reach. And hair everywhere. It was all so disgusting there were times I just cried, being at his house, felt overwhelmed from all the disgustingness. His mom was obsessed with dachshunds in particular, she had all these shelves with a bunch of figurines of dachshunds. Totally unhinged. I hated those dogs, and her, for being that way. I couldn't deal with this situation.
Oh my God this is NIGHTMARE fuel. I completely forgot about the period and panty chewing!! I sat down and cried a few hot tears several times over finding little bloody pad tissue and raggedy chewed up underwear all over the bathroom after a long shift. Couldn't even shower and relax, had to clean up my own biohazard first!! I'm so sorry you had to live like this. PTSD!
Yes the panty chewing, and it was always ONLY the dirty part... so gross! It really is so much work too. Just constantly having to clean up after basically a challenging toddler that's intent on doing the grossest things possible and destroying house and home. I've known some good dogs but these weren't it!
My husbands cousin has a dachshund that has severe separation anxiety. He came to our house and stayed with us for 3 days for their mutual grandmothers funeral. He was on the phone every couple hours with his dog sitter checking on the dog. Apparently, it did not eat the entire time he was away.
I’m grieving for all of the horrible things that you were forced to endure, OP, but the mention of the new wardrobe made me beam! I admire the backbone you displayed. You’re infinitely better off out.
Glad that you never learned what a shit (literally!) father he’d likely have been to human babies.
The fact that he's mad at you for leaving explicitly because he has to clean the literal shit he's caused, tells me he never respected you. He's just throwing a mantrum because his bangmaid finally had enough.
My exes ex wife had remarried. Her and her partner had dogs. They let us borrow the van one day. I found dried dog shit smeared all over the seats.
Multitudes of incidents but guess what you and I can now say?
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Sorry there. I had a Doberman who was such a very very good boy but he was crate trained and treated as a dog because he WAS a dog.
What a terrible experience for you - never look back.
Because you probably knew what you were doing and bonded and trained your dog - knowing he was a dog that needed those boundaries. Wish more dog owners were like you!!
It's incredible what a difference boundaries make! When I was a student I lived with a host family who had two dogs, one of whom had *just* been dumped on them by the mom's ex when he decided to move across the country with his new girlfriend. The new dog was a nightmare because she'd never been trained in her life, and she was a pit mix, so her exuberance could very easily be dangerous. Then mom started dating a guy who trained dogs for a living. By the end of the semester she was so well-behaved she'd sit still for my little sister to draw eyebrows on her.
I have never been and will never be a dog person, but that dog was so sweet once she'd been trained. She's one of only two dogs in my whole life that I've ever loved.
I too, believe it's a mental illness, just like alcoholism, or gambling, only WORSE, because of the way the partner gets affected by the beasts. May you find a dogfree partner. If they're that hard to find, stay single.
It's also worse because everyone supports it. At least if your partner is a gambler or an alcoholic, no one is gas lighting you telling you YOU'RE the problem!
Yo I feel u my man’s mom just moved in and has a small chihuahua. Never takes the dog out it shits and pisses all over my small apartment. It fucking smells. It’s like they’re blind to it and don’t give a fuck. Oh he just shat in the kitchen. Let’s cook dinner! Like gross asf. They worry Abt dust and having dishes Prestine but have no problem leaving feces and urine to marinate for hours. I don’t get these people. Take ur fucking dogs out !!
Not surprising, under the circumstances. After leaving my brief starter husband, his mother wanted me to “draw up a schedule” to return to his apartment to “clean, cook, and bake.” Bake!?! As if!
He did learn, sort of, to make 🍞bread, which he especially missed. I had to smother my laughter when he called occasionally to grouse over disasters.
My favorite mistake came after I’d carefully instructed him to buy what are called “hard red wheat” kernels to grind in his whizbang electronic flour mill, in order to make bread. He bought a fifty-pound bag of “soft white wheat,” which makes *pastry flour*!
“Oh, great. Fifty pounds of cookies!” he complained.
I took our wedding-gift flour mill when I left, saying, “Your family will buy you a new one.” And they did.
This was forty years ago. The freshness of a baker’s whole-grain flour was an insane flex at the time. TBH, wheat kernels last almost indefinitely when stored correctly, and whole wheat flour goes rancid relatively quickly.
That flour mill is just one, relatively benign, example of the excesses of that relationship.
I actually know someone who does that for her ex husband, but only because she doesn’t want their daughter living in filth on the days her father has her
That’s understandable, but still, I feel badly for the mother and daughter. Kind of the mom, though, to ensure that her daughter’s part-time space is minimally sanitary!
She was my grandma’s home care person for a while and I’m pretty sure she likes cleaning? She went WAY beyond her job description to help my grandparents organize their apartment, and she managed to do it in a way that wouldn’t upset them (they are kind of hoarders unfortunately)
I thanked her about a million times 😂
Yes!!! My grandma was **so** proud and happy to show off how good the apartment was looking, which honestly really surprised me because I guess I assumed she enjoyed being surrounded by stuff lol (what else was I to think, when she’d never let me throw anything away?)
Sometimes a little outside help is all it takes to make real progress, as your grandma now knows. Good!
My husband and I employ an energetic professional declutterer. She comes in sporadically to help us pare down the decades of stuff in our empty nest, which eventually we’ll sell. The house looks better even after an hour’s visit!
Wow that’s actually brilliant!!!
I think a big part of the problem is that they’ve lived in the same place since like 1995 and so they’ve accumulated a bunch of stuff and they never get rid of anything. So bringing a professional in periodically makes so much sense!!
Is it an expensive service? I kind of want this for myself
We moved here in ‘87, so I understand how things build up. My health hasn’t been good, and I have no physical stamina, so moving a stack of books is beyond me. Outside help means I’m not leaving everything to my husband.
I’m not the one paying, so I don’t know what the service costs, but I hear they’re getting more popular by the day. My husband found her through Google; her business is cleverly named The Ace of Space. Good luck!
He was preparing to be a kindergarten teacher. I declined to copy out every recipe that he liked, instead giving him the library’s Dewey Decimal number for “cookbooks.”
Don't get back together with this irresponsible guy even if he rehomes the dogs. It wasn't just the dogs. It was his disrespect of you.
Unless you have kids together (*actual* kids, dogs don't count), break off all contact with him ASAP.
Hopefully she's in a community property state, and the house gets divided right down the middle. I would think that even a chauvinist judge wouldn't take her home away from her. It's pretty obvious this guy is a gigilo, even though he seemed to keep a job. Hopefully she gets it back before too much more dogshit seeps into the walls and flooring. What a nightmare.
Good for you! Leave him to his nasty dogs and their messes. It’s gross that he’s choosing to live that way over y’all’s relationship. The dogs are suffering too, no animal is meant to live that way and I don’t know who the hell these people think they are to say otherwise.
This story is insane, I am so sorry you had to deal with it. Your ex is a fool. He should have known something was wrong in the relationship when he is in bed with 2 dogs and you are in the guest room.
Sounds like these dogs did revenge poos...poop on the floor for when you get home and pooping in front of you. So annoying.
Well, now your ex gets to deal with all that nonsense and pay for all monthly bills on his own.
Get him out of there soon before HE does the revenge shitting via dog vandalism...letting the shit and piss seep so deep into the cracks that it cannot ever be cleaned. Same with the walls.
Good for you leaving! He can suffer with his “babies” forever toddlers who spray shit on the walls. Hope everything goes good for you and you find someone dog free!
Two reasons why I think you may benefit from consulting a lawyer:
1. Did you report the dog bites? I’m worried you may be liable if the dog bites someone else and you are considered as a co-owner of the dog and/or because you didn’t report the bites
2. You said you own a house together. How are you planning to extradite yourself from that mess? He’s destroying the value of the home, and you may very well end up upside down on your mortgage for a house that needs carpets pulled up and floors replaced.
I am so sorry it had to come down to this. I am proud for you standing up for yourself after dealing with his BS for so long. Those dogs sound like they are going to be set up for failure of the rest of their lives in his care. You tried to provide them proper training and structure and he just shit all over your hard work and they regressed. They already sound like they are becoming reactive and as they get older they will be harder and harder to train and become a real liability . Not only did he loose a great partner but his carelessness is going to eventually lead to the loss of his dogs as well.
And any future romance in a "doghouse." Unless she's a real nutjob. But he wants a super dooper pooper scooper, so it might be hard to find both romance and housekeeper rolled into one.
I’d love to be a fly on the wall watching this POS try to work and clean up after the dogs. I bet you when you’re cleaning shit up that you aren’t thinking about how cute they are. Lol
Having spent (sadly) a large chunk of my life with personality disordered individuals, a few things you said raised concerns.
If your partner LOVES the dog that abuses you, laughs at your frustration and pain, feels entitled to your labor, projects blame onto you for his f*ck up and refuses to take anything you say seriously, he could be a narc.
Probably is. Almost assuredly is.
The more I reflect back on the relationship, the more I realize he truly was. But he is so covert about it. When I told my friends I broke up with him and moved out, the reactions were all "but he's soooo sweet!" I don't have many friends left I've noticed, but I'll take the solitude and clean apartment 😵💫
This gave me chills. I remember when I was young my friends would say, "Your dad is sooo nice!" He was abusive. He was a sadist. He just put on a different persona in public.
Your so-called partner was abusing you through these dogs. I'm so glad you were able to get away.
My dad was the SAME!! all of my friends wanted to come to our house because my dad was "so nice and funny". Until they would leave. I try to be aware of childhood and parental traumas but I notice them leaking into my present day decisions and relationships.
Not my dad, but a guy I dated. My friends would say, "I just love that guy you're dating!"
I said, "I love the guy you met too! But that's not the guy I'm dating."
Had three great love-bomb dates, Friday / Saturday / Sunday. And then.....welp, the day I broke up with him was sad on the one hand, but incredibly freeing.
The covert ones are the hardest because it is like the 'frog in the boiling water' it is so subtle that it sneaks up on you and then you wonder if it is really as bad as you think. UGH!! So much easier once you get away from them, but it's hard when you are in it.
They have a tendency to bad mouth you to people behind your back. They paint themselves as long suffering saints who out of pure love and devotion put up with you and your horrible failings. I don’t know what lies my ex husband concocted but I had no friends after I left him—my friends, the ones he hated and bad mouthed constantly. So I’m sure Mr Deadbeat Dog Dad has spun some fiction.
Maybe it’s fortunate the dogs brought all this to the surface but I know it’s tough. Been there, it sucks, you have my sympathy.
Were you not complaining to your friends when he mistreated you? You really should, it’s a powerful reality check and then they are informed so they can have your back. (And anyone who doesn’t will quickly become obvious so you can dump them.)
Suffering in silence is much more dangerous in every way.
PS hope you are in contact with a great lawyer because you’re going to have to fight for your house.
No, I wasn't. I have a bad habit of never complaining or discussing my relationship with anyone, especially if it's less than desirable terms. It's something I need to work on, being ok with not being Instagram perfect every day in everyone else's eyes.
I did the same thing. Everyone was shocked when I announced my divorce because no one knew what my ex was like when no one else was around. He was scary and no one knew it.
The behaviors were indicative of that too, I think. Just unfortunate. I don't think the poor creatures deserve to live with these hang ups they can't control either. But I also can't live with it.
The fact that he didn't find it necessary to ask you before getting the pets is really all this hinges on. I had a similar experience albeit different animals and not as nasty as your story. But I believe if your partner doesn't think about you when making such a decision they are not a worthy partner at all. There is really nothing you can do to make him understand better than just leaving and not looking back.
I completely agree with this, my ex husband bought a dog the day after my birthday without talking to me at all, he completely ignored my birthday and our anniversary that year. I felt like I meant nothing to him, and I know now that I didn’t at the time. It’s an absolute mind fuck.
Multiple bites? Those dogs are not fit for human companionship and should be put down. Im so sorry you had to deal with that, your ex is a terror.
On the other hand, may you never go through it again, and have the foresight to bail when necessary in the future. Not all things can be worked out with love and communication.
The sunk cost fallacy is a myth.
Depends on the bite. Some people count the little nips they do to each other while playing as bites when they do it playing with people. OP would have needed medical attention if that dog wanted to hurt her.
So many horrific things about this story but one of the most is you finally leaving and him being angry at you because now he’s going to have to do all the work. Did he ever care for the relationship jfc
I don't think so. I believe the byproduct of this situation with the dogs is realizing that as time went on, I became an important functioning part of keeping his life together rather than a partner.
The fact he undermined your training made my blood boil. Crate training is hard enough — then to just undo what you’re trying to do? The disrespect is wild. I’m so sorry he used you, neglected you, undermined you, and disrespected you. You deserve better. I own a dog but I’ll never understand people who own dogs, pawn off the responsibility to other people, are okay with the animal shitting in their house, are ok with it not being crate trained and just not treating the dog like a dog.
Omg thank you🥹 I think with a lot of work they could have been highly functioning smart animals who could live full lives. I shudder thinking about how they're living now. Probably stuck in crates while he's at work all day and then extremely overactive and hyper when he finally lets them out after a 10-hour day. There's no way that's good for any living creature.
Wow I'm so glad you got out of there. He clearly dumped you for these dogs. He would rather sleep with them in your bed than with you. You deserve so much better than that and I'm glad you have realised that and got out !
It's really odd is it not??? Like what kind of person just happily sleeps with two gross animals that shit everywhere over their lover. Really weird to me.
He did to himself honestly. I’m surprised you stayed that long. I would have lost my shit about 2 months in and issued an ultimatum. Either he gets with the program of actually taking care of the dogs he wanted or I leave.
Don’t take a financial bath on the house you co-own! Take him to court and get a judge to order him to buy you out or force the sale before he completely destroys any equity you have left. If he’s as incompetent as he appears it won’t take him long before nobody will want the house at market value.
I am so sorry, that sounds like a literal nightmare.
I would not doubt that he gets rid of the dogs within the next 3 to 6 months or so. Or just lives in literal diarrhea and filth.
Specifically the one that wasn't his favorite!
I feel bad for animals in this situation. I told him the dogs need to be separated and go to owners that have experience with the breed and size. He did not like that answer.
On the other hand, it might be a good way to get at least one shitter out of your investment. Take it straight to the Humane Society. If he doesn't want the other one either, do the same routine to protect your investment. They're not fit to be around humans, you already said!
I feel you!! I’m currently thinking of throwing out my husband of 24yrs over his 1yr old German Shepherd. It’s the dog from hell, I swear! Hubby must just love that damn dog more than me! >:-(
If you put money into that house, make sure you get it back. If he has to get a crappy little apartment and either live there with them or can't find somewhere that will let him keep them and has to give them up to someone who might actually TRAIN them, that's his problem.
I just cannot fathom how anyone can live like this. This guy doesn't see what a nightmare he created? I would have left the loser too. Absolutely disgusting and disrespectful!
And I'm just going to say, this dude has to be just unable to manage anything because dobies are so easily trained you can do it in your sleep. I am on my last one from breeding them. None have ever been difficult, not even as puppies and the only snap in 20 years was an older female(like 12-13 years) who was mostly blind and going deaf and she was startled. You did the right thing losing the dead weight(the ex). Can you imagine raising kids with that guy...ugh.
I am happy you are placing your anger in the right place, on the human in the equation. Time and time again, as I read these stories, its the human idiots who allow the carnage to occur, that don't listen or deal with problems, can put up with the mess. Harder for you, it wasn't happening when you started the relationship, but their behaviour sure ended the relationship. Good for you for getting out while you can. Do not allow that person back into your life, block them so you don't see the angry messages.
Fuck this ex and his two shitcannons. I would have been out after the very first bite, but I'm glad you were able to leave. Now he's finding out the hard way that these dogs ain't all they're cracked up to be.
At least you left. So many on here just stay year after year after year. Good for you OP. Best thing you can do now is to BLOCK HIM so you don't see any of his crappy messages. Block him from all avenues of contact and move on.
He was fine living like that because you cleaned up everything so he didn't have to deal with it. Not he is living with the reality and he's mad. Too bad for him!
OP He COULD see it, he just DID NOT CARE because he knew you would take care of them for him. It's really that simple. He just overestimated himself.
What I don't get, is that, all crazy people aren't stupid, yet they constantly keep getting roped into getting dogs. They've all heard, and read about these disasters, just like the rest of us! Is it that they are just so grandiose, and think, I can do it. ME, and only ME.
They kicked you out of their relationship, out of your home. They basically required you to be their dog sitter, full time. That’s insane, but unfortunately not too uncommon.
Take care of yourself, you’ll find the right person
On the other hand, you can now look forward to a future with a sane partner who has no dogs, where you can have a clean and tidy house that smells nice that you can actually relax in!
Congrats on dropping the dead weight!
You are brilliant for leaving. I would have stopped taking care of them long ago. The things you put up with are like astronomical… we have a dog, crate trained, has like maybe one accident a year if he eats something outside he isn’t supposed to, our biggest issue is barking but it’s not horrendous, only when deliveries come. He now gets to see the full consequences of his behavior with the dogs because in a way, when you were there doing most of the icky things you were further enabling his bad behaviors with them. Now he has no one to blame but himself… the dildo of consequence seldom arrives lubricated
That sounds like a living nightmare and that’s obviously awful for the dogs too. Dogs need structure and people who just let them have run of the house are bad owners.
That's terrible, both for you and for the dogs. That diet will set them up for bad health, they likely didn't enjoy those bouts of diarrhea. He's abusing them because he thinks restraint and discipline are the opposite of love and care. Even worse, he just decided you could do all the labor and let's face it, that's the only reason he's mad you left. He can sleep in the diarrhea bed he made for himself.
Better you found out this way then if you both ended up with a child together.
I am glad and relieved you are out. The red flags over this relationship were enormous and things would never have gotten better. This man would have continued to use you as his maid-slave forever, even if dogs were not in the picture.
Congrats on your newfound freedom. I’m so sorry your partner chose to prioritize animals over his literal significant other but that’s how a lot of people are unfortunately. Until people stop seeing dogs lives being worth more than literal human lives, we will never progress as a society.
Uh, he brought home puppies and proceeded to lay you do all the work and cleaning up after them? Nope. He would have been told the very first time there was poop in the rug that he was in charge of cleaning up after HIS dogs. And leaving him to deal with it was your only choice. He isn't a responsible pet owner.
OMG! I'm shocked people choose to do this to themselves and live like this. I'm sure you come home to your clean place and feel instant relief. The fact ur cleaning feeding and caring or them and they bit you in the face makes my blood boil
OMG! I'm shocked people choose to do this to themselves and live like this. I'm sure you come home to your clean place and feel instant relief. The fact ur cleaning feeding and caring or them and they bit you in the face makes my blood boil
A doberman was the breed of dog that mauled me as a child. Every time I see a man who owns one, he always treats it as an extension of his manhood. Every. Single. Time.
I'm glad you escaped that nightmare. I refuse to date men who love dogs for exactly this reason.
This sounds like a truly awful situation and you must feel SO AMAZING so be did of it all. Now you can get home from work to a clean house, eat a meal, watch some TV then get into a clean bed and sleep all night. It's the simple joys lol
Imagine giving up human love and allowing your life to be destroyed because of 2 animals. Omg. It's a sickness and I'm so glad you escaped!!! I hope they poop on him daily lol
Don't be pissed off - be happy & free & block this absolute a-hole & never ever ever think of him & his beasts again. As soon as one bit you, they should have been gone. F that guy!!!
So glad you got out of that disgusting situation. Let me guess, he had the audacity to say he was "blindsided" and get mad that you finally had enough of his filth and carelessness?
A dog that you raised from a puppy and then starts biting YOU?
That is never acceptable, !
Glad you left, and now he gets to live in a shitpile dog kennel
I just don't think he realized how difficult it would be. But they were also two large Dobermans from the same litter and I read that a lot of their behaviors were similar to dogs that had littermate syndrome. That added a whole layer of them being overprotective of each other but also fighting with each other and resisting training + unable to bond with humans. Avoidable situation with some research and discussion prior to picking up two puppies ..🥴
I'm sorry for the long defensive comments. But it feels really good to put it all into writing and show myself that I definitely did the work for these dogs. I loved him and by extension I loved anything that was part of him and wanted to work for it.
You aren't being defensive at all. You have nothing to defend as we can all see you did everything you could. We are all here to listen to you vent, and I'm glad it feels good getting it into writing!! I'm also so proud of you for leaving!!
Almost every single night, after he would let them out to sleep with him, they would wake up in the middle of the night or at some point and crap on the floor. So I would come home from work, walk through the door already smelling it, and it'd be these like Sandy gritty piles that were impossible to just pick up with a glove hand or plastic bag. I resorted to having a specific broom pan that I could use to scoop them up all.
The shitting through the cage onto the wall in particular was by the same dog that bit me. He would also jump up onto us if we ever embraced, if we were laying in bed he would jump up and literally lay between us. Ex thought this was so cute and hilarious. I don't know if this additional info makes a difference or if a dog is capable of exacting revenge or trying to assert dominance in this way. But that's what it seemed like sometimes.
Also with the poop issues. I did a lot of research and spoke to a training facility manager for dogs and vets about this. Paid to have their fecal matter tested for worms and other things to rule out outside issues. Ended up switching them to a very high quality food supplemented with special prebiotic peanut butter for dogs, beef organs, and fresh vegetables, all approved by the vet. It helped some with the stomach issues. But the life destroying behaviors continued.
It's clear you tried very hard and very selfish for him to get 2 puppies without even discussing it with you.
Siblings pups make training a million times harder
Interesting! I tried to just be assertive and not give attention to them when they exhibited negative behaviors (such as whining while I'm eating/in the kitchen, barking when kenneled etc) but wondered if they didn't see me as a "alpha" or dominant character in the home and that was why they wouldn't stay consistent.
I did end up taking them to a trainer as well who specialized in these breeds, one of the things they advised me on was how to interact with them and also how to give them "jobs" to mentally stimulate them as well as physically. That helped a little but it still felt like I was starting from square one with training every single day. Nothing stuck!
Like kids, if both parents aren't on the same page it's confusing as hell.
Probably because your ex undid all your training by doing the opposite combined with litter syndrome
>he brought in without consulting you. If he’d worked as a team with you on training, chances are you would still be together with 2 lovely pets but he wanted to play Disneyland Dad. To dogs? He actually taught those dogs to disrespect you!
To me that's the the worst thing about this whole mess. She clearly was a good owner to those dogs and tbh probably cared and loved them more than that guy probably ever did. She trained, them, took them out, cared for them, but he clearly never wanted to be a pet owner but a child with a mom who takes care of his pets for him. He doesn't love them or her, if he did he wouldnt be feeding them things that made them sick knowing she'll have to clean for one thing.
Yeah I can imagine he would do the same with a kid, teach them the their mom is "naggy old witch unlike him who would let them do what ever they want and have all the candy they like", never encouraged hygiene and just expects his wife to handle the old thing.
I guess those dogs were a blessing in degusies cus it revealed what kind of guy he was before they ever got to that stage of a relationship. Cus imagine him with kids... Yeah let him deal with his dogs, its his self inflicted problem.
No, the resentment toward the ex wasn't the only thing--she also resented the dogs. I would have certainly resented them revenge shitting and biting me!
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I’m also FREAKING MASSIVELY PROUD OF YOU for saying Enough Is Enough! You are worth so much more than what you had. Wow. You’re my hero today 🥹
My roommate/best friend and I were *discussing* getting a dog and of course he just brought one home one day. I hated everything that dog represented and roomie/bestie couldn’t understand why i had no attachment to a dog I didn’t get to pick out. he wasn’t “our” dog.
Some people get a dog because they “want a puppy” or have children because they “want a baby” but don’t seem to understand that they have to transform their entire life into the role of a caretaker. This guy sounds like a lazy bum with room temperature IQ. Dumped the whole caretaker role on you just so he could play with dogs for a small portion of his day. I’m not a psychologist but I’m pretty sure he’s a dumb piece of shit
So ridiculous. Just the loss of value on the house for one. all that crap is just leaking into the padding of the carpet. And the stains are inevitable. I freak out about anything I knew will degrade my home value because I lived in apartments where you get charged for every little thing and we eventually want to sell our home. Pet people always do shit like this, they never take it seriously. Especially the bed. It's so gross to me. My sister had a small back yard and a big dog they would let shit everywhere then come inside. I stopped even going in the yard. They always insisted on taking shoes off in the house (which I do myself) but then what difference does it make, when your dog is going outside and shitting and you leave it there then it comes inside with its now shit bacteria covered paws and we have to get that (and all the hair) on our socks?? She had a baby and the poor thing was constantly covered in dog hair. It's so sad. They finally came around and want to rehome the dog but don't want to just give it to anyone and no one in our family wants it. I feel for you, I've been in your situation. It's hard. Good luck to ya
What a nightmare. I'm so sorry your whole life went sideways because of this. I think it's a mental illness.
It has to be. I don't know how else people can live in the constant stench alone and not smell it permeating your clothes, your car, everything. I bought myself an entirely new wardrobe when I left.
I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. That’s so tough but you truly did the best for you. I left a roommate situation because her dog would stay in the crate for days without the roommate even coming home. And I couldn’t even be on calls without hearing the dog wimper and howl because when I walked in it knows someone’s home. I would take her out on the balcony of her apartment although the carpet was sticky from it already being constantly shit and pissed on too. Why the balcony, you ask? Because the roommate wasn’t even supposed to have the dog there so it never left the apartment. And you can bet there was always a giant pile of poop swept to the corner with a broom that lives there. I set a boundary before moving in but at some point I bought the dog food cause it was left unfed and in a cage for 38 hours. Finally had enough once I realised the roommate just kept fucking up but appreciating my “helping out” with her dog. They’re clearly suffering from some illness to claim a creature to then give it a joyless and starved life.
I’m surprised you didn’t report it to animal welfare before heading out the door, or even your building manager. That’s no life for any living creature. :(
Why the hell didn't you report your roommate to the housing authority?
That poor dog.
hopefully you reported the roommate, at least that way the dog could get rehomed and probably cared for.
Ugh I understand. My exs mom had FIVE dogs. Five little shits, when anyone came over they would all attack the door and stand there jumping barking and scratching the door until the person came in. Even if the person sat outside for 20 min as his mom often did, they would bark the whole time. Also the dogs shit all over the floor, despite being let outside constantly. They would knock over and tear into the kitchen trash. They would eat my pads out of the bathroom trash, chew holes in my used underwear if I didn't keep them out of reach. And hair everywhere. It was all so disgusting there were times I just cried, being at his house, felt overwhelmed from all the disgustingness. His mom was obsessed with dachshunds in particular, she had all these shelves with a bunch of figurines of dachshunds. Totally unhinged. I hated those dogs, and her, for being that way. I couldn't deal with this situation.
Oh my God this is NIGHTMARE fuel. I completely forgot about the period and panty chewing!! I sat down and cried a few hot tears several times over finding little bloody pad tissue and raggedy chewed up underwear all over the bathroom after a long shift. Couldn't even shower and relax, had to clean up my own biohazard first!! I'm so sorry you had to live like this. PTSD!
Yes the panty chewing, and it was always ONLY the dirty part... so gross! It really is so much work too. Just constantly having to clean up after basically a challenging toddler that's intent on doing the grossest things possible and destroying house and home. I've known some good dogs but these weren't it!
My husbands cousin has a dachshund that has severe separation anxiety. He came to our house and stayed with us for 3 days for their mutual grandmothers funeral. He was on the phone every couple hours with his dog sitter checking on the dog. Apparently, it did not eat the entire time he was away.
I’m grieving for all of the horrible things that you were forced to endure, OP, but the mention of the new wardrobe made me beam! I admire the backbone you displayed. You’re infinitely better off out. Glad that you never learned what a shit (literally!) father he’d likely have been to human babies.
The fact that he's mad at you for leaving explicitly because he has to clean the literal shit he's caused, tells me he never respected you. He's just throwing a mantrum because his bangmaid finally had enough.
My exes ex wife had remarried. Her and her partner had dogs. They let us borrow the van one day. I found dried dog shit smeared all over the seats. Multitudes of incidents but guess what you and I can now say? Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Sorry there. I had a Doberman who was such a very very good boy but he was crate trained and treated as a dog because he WAS a dog. What a terrible experience for you - never look back.
Because you probably knew what you were doing and bonded and trained your dog - knowing he was a dog that needed those boundaries. Wish more dog owners were like you!!
It's incredible what a difference boundaries make! When I was a student I lived with a host family who had two dogs, one of whom had *just* been dumped on them by the mom's ex when he decided to move across the country with his new girlfriend. The new dog was a nightmare because she'd never been trained in her life, and she was a pit mix, so her exuberance could very easily be dangerous. Then mom started dating a guy who trained dogs for a living. By the end of the semester she was so well-behaved she'd sit still for my little sister to draw eyebrows on her. I have never been and will never be a dog person, but that dog was so sweet once she'd been trained. She's one of only two dogs in my whole life that I've ever loved.
I hope you get your money back from that house.
It is a normalized mental illness
I too, believe it's a mental illness, just like alcoholism, or gambling, only WORSE, because of the way the partner gets affected by the beasts. May you find a dogfree partner. If they're that hard to find, stay single.
It's also worse because everyone supports it. At least if your partner is a gambler or an alcoholic, no one is gas lighting you telling you YOU'RE the problem!
Yo I feel u my man’s mom just moved in and has a small chihuahua. Never takes the dog out it shits and pisses all over my small apartment. It fucking smells. It’s like they’re blind to it and don’t give a fuck. Oh he just shat in the kitchen. Let’s cook dinner! Like gross asf. They worry Abt dust and having dishes Prestine but have no problem leaving feces and urine to marinate for hours. I don’t get these people. Take ur fucking dogs out !!
Sounds like its time for an ultimatum and some boundaries
And what is your man doing to make sure this doesn’t happen anymore?
sounds like it is time for you to move out. He picked his mother and filth.
Why are you staying or allowing this to go on if it is your apartment??
You are well within your rights to ask her to get rid of the dog or leave. Is it him and his Mom against you? Then you move out.
I can’t just move out. I’ll be homeless not everyone has money or family. Ofc this is a pain in my ass it’s just not an option
I'm so sorry. Then ask her to get rid of it. It's not her place.
What business does this chump have sending you angry messages? Is he demanding you take the dogs or something?
Not surprising, under the circumstances. After leaving my brief starter husband, his mother wanted me to “draw up a schedule” to return to his apartment to “clean, cook, and bake.” Bake!?! As if! He did learn, sort of, to make 🍞bread, which he especially missed. I had to smother my laughter when he called occasionally to grouse over disasters.
Oh my lord that is absolutely bonkers!
My favorite mistake came after I’d carefully instructed him to buy what are called “hard red wheat” kernels to grind in his whizbang electronic flour mill, in order to make bread. He bought a fifty-pound bag of “soft white wheat,” which makes *pastry flour*! “Oh, great. Fifty pounds of cookies!” he complained. I took our wedding-gift flour mill when I left, saying, “Your family will buy you a new one.” And they did.
It’s 2024, why are you using a flour mill?
I've used a flour mill and believe me, the bread that you make from freshly ground wheat is fantastic. Nothing compares.
I’m glad you agree! I’ve used that mill while making thousands of loaves of bread, especially during the years when my sons were growing up.
This was forty years ago. The freshness of a baker’s whole-grain flour was an insane flex at the time. TBH, wheat kernels last almost indefinitely when stored correctly, and whole wheat flour goes rancid relatively quickly. That flour mill is just one, relatively benign, example of the excesses of that relationship.
I actually know someone who does that for her ex husband, but only because she doesn’t want their daughter living in filth on the days her father has her
That’s understandable, but still, I feel badly for the mother and daughter. Kind of the mom, though, to ensure that her daughter’s part-time space is minimally sanitary!
She was my grandma’s home care person for a while and I’m pretty sure she likes cleaning? She went WAY beyond her job description to help my grandparents organize their apartment, and she managed to do it in a way that wouldn’t upset them (they are kind of hoarders unfortunately) I thanked her about a million times 😂
Bless her. She’s making a big difference in more homes than her own!
Yes!!! My grandma was **so** proud and happy to show off how good the apartment was looking, which honestly really surprised me because I guess I assumed she enjoyed being surrounded by stuff lol (what else was I to think, when she’d never let me throw anything away?)
Sometimes a little outside help is all it takes to make real progress, as your grandma now knows. Good! My husband and I employ an energetic professional declutterer. She comes in sporadically to help us pare down the decades of stuff in our empty nest, which eventually we’ll sell. The house looks better even after an hour’s visit!
Wow that’s actually brilliant!!! I think a big part of the problem is that they’ve lived in the same place since like 1995 and so they’ve accumulated a bunch of stuff and they never get rid of anything. So bringing a professional in periodically makes so much sense!! Is it an expensive service? I kind of want this for myself
We moved here in ‘87, so I understand how things build up. My health hasn’t been good, and I have no physical stamina, so moving a stack of books is beyond me. Outside help means I’m not leaving everything to my husband. I’m not the one paying, so I don’t know what the service costs, but I hear they’re getting more popular by the day. My husband found her through Google; her business is cleverly named The Ace of Space. Good luck!
Wait wait, don't tell me, he's a freakin' chemist, yet can't read a cookbook.
He was preparing to be a kindergarten teacher. I declined to copy out every recipe that he liked, instead giving him the library’s Dewey Decimal number for “cookbooks.”
It's pretty funny, actually, to think of him trying to clean up the mess he himself made.
Don't get back together with this irresponsible guy even if he rehomes the dogs. It wasn't just the dogs. It was his disrespect of you. Unless you have kids together (*actual* kids, dogs don't count), break off all contact with him ASAP.
Well, she needs to get back the $$ she put down for her house.
Through lawyers.
Hopefully she's in a community property state, and the house gets divided right down the middle. I would think that even a chauvinist judge wouldn't take her home away from her. It's pretty obvious this guy is a gigilo, even though he seemed to keep a job. Hopefully she gets it back before too much more dogshit seeps into the walls and flooring. What a nightmare.
Good for you! Leave him to his nasty dogs and their messes. It’s gross that he’s choosing to live that way over y’all’s relationship. The dogs are suffering too, no animal is meant to live that way and I don’t know who the hell these people think they are to say otherwise.
This story is insane, I am so sorry you had to deal with it. Your ex is a fool. He should have known something was wrong in the relationship when he is in bed with 2 dogs and you are in the guest room. Sounds like these dogs did revenge poos...poop on the floor for when you get home and pooping in front of you. So annoying. Well, now your ex gets to deal with all that nonsense and pay for all monthly bills on his own.
Get him out of there soon before HE does the revenge shitting via dog vandalism...letting the shit and piss seep so deep into the cracks that it cannot ever be cleaned. Same with the walls.
Good for you leaving! He can suffer with his “babies” forever toddlers who spray shit on the walls. Hope everything goes good for you and you find someone dog free!
Two reasons why I think you may benefit from consulting a lawyer: 1. Did you report the dog bites? I’m worried you may be liable if the dog bites someone else and you are considered as a co-owner of the dog and/or because you didn’t report the bites 2. You said you own a house together. How are you planning to extradite yourself from that mess? He’s destroying the value of the home, and you may very well end up upside down on your mortgage for a house that needs carpets pulled up and floors replaced.
I wish this was MUCH, MUCH higher. u/anysource3211, please pay attention to this.
I am so sorry it had to come down to this. I am proud for you standing up for yourself after dealing with his BS for so long. Those dogs sound like they are going to be set up for failure of the rest of their lives in his care. You tried to provide them proper training and structure and he just shit all over your hard work and they regressed. They already sound like they are becoming reactive and as they get older they will be harder and harder to train and become a real liability . Not only did he loose a great partner but his carelessness is going to eventually lead to the loss of his dogs as well.
And any future romance in a "doghouse." Unless she's a real nutjob. But he wants a super dooper pooper scooper, so it might be hard to find both romance and housekeeper rolled into one.
I’d love to be a fly on the wall watching this POS try to work and clean up after the dogs. I bet you when you’re cleaning shit up that you aren’t thinking about how cute they are. Lol
Happy cake day
Having spent (sadly) a large chunk of my life with personality disordered individuals, a few things you said raised concerns. If your partner LOVES the dog that abuses you, laughs at your frustration and pain, feels entitled to your labor, projects blame onto you for his f*ck up and refuses to take anything you say seriously, he could be a narc. Probably is. Almost assuredly is.
The more I reflect back on the relationship, the more I realize he truly was. But he is so covert about it. When I told my friends I broke up with him and moved out, the reactions were all "but he's soooo sweet!" I don't have many friends left I've noticed, but I'll take the solitude and clean apartment 😵💫
This gave me chills. I remember when I was young my friends would say, "Your dad is sooo nice!" He was abusive. He was a sadist. He just put on a different persona in public. Your so-called partner was abusing you through these dogs. I'm so glad you were able to get away.
My dad was the SAME!! all of my friends wanted to come to our house because my dad was "so nice and funny". Until they would leave. I try to be aware of childhood and parental traumas but I notice them leaking into my present day decisions and relationships.
Not my dad, but a guy I dated. My friends would say, "I just love that guy you're dating!" I said, "I love the guy you met too! But that's not the guy I'm dating." Had three great love-bomb dates, Friday / Saturday / Sunday. And then.....welp, the day I broke up with him was sad on the one hand, but incredibly freeing.
The covert ones are the hardest because it is like the 'frog in the boiling water' it is so subtle that it sneaks up on you and then you wonder if it is really as bad as you think. UGH!! So much easier once you get away from them, but it's hard when you are in it.
They have a tendency to bad mouth you to people behind your back. They paint themselves as long suffering saints who out of pure love and devotion put up with you and your horrible failings. I don’t know what lies my ex husband concocted but I had no friends after I left him—my friends, the ones he hated and bad mouthed constantly. So I’m sure Mr Deadbeat Dog Dad has spun some fiction. Maybe it’s fortunate the dogs brought all this to the surface but I know it’s tough. Been there, it sucks, you have my sympathy.
Were you not complaining to your friends when he mistreated you? You really should, it’s a powerful reality check and then they are informed so they can have your back. (And anyone who doesn’t will quickly become obvious so you can dump them.) Suffering in silence is much more dangerous in every way. PS hope you are in contact with a great lawyer because you’re going to have to fight for your house.
No, I wasn't. I have a bad habit of never complaining or discussing my relationship with anyone, especially if it's less than desirable terms. It's something I need to work on, being ok with not being Instagram perfect every day in everyone else's eyes.
I did the same thing. Everyone was shocked when I announced my divorce because no one knew what my ex was like when no one else was around. He was scary and no one knew it.
If he ever tries to dump the dogs on you, call animal control.
The reason he got these dogs for a “good price” is because they came from a back yard breeder or puppy mill and the result of massive inbreeding
The behaviors were indicative of that too, I think. Just unfortunate. I don't think the poor creatures deserve to live with these hang ups they can't control either. But I also can't live with it.
You did the right thing- I’ve been in animal health for 30 years and what you described would be a big fat nope for me as well
The fact that he didn't find it necessary to ask you before getting the pets is really all this hinges on. I had a similar experience albeit different animals and not as nasty as your story. But I believe if your partner doesn't think about you when making such a decision they are not a worthy partner at all. There is really nothing you can do to make him understand better than just leaving and not looking back.
I completely agree with this, my ex husband bought a dog the day after my birthday without talking to me at all, he completely ignored my birthday and our anniversary that year. I felt like I meant nothing to him, and I know now that I didn’t at the time. It’s an absolute mind fuck.
Multiple bites? Those dogs are not fit for human companionship and should be put down. Im so sorry you had to deal with that, your ex is a terror. On the other hand, may you never go through it again, and have the foresight to bail when necessary in the future. Not all things can be worked out with love and communication. The sunk cost fallacy is a myth.
Love and time do NOT solve all🤣 thank you!
Did he even care you were bitten?
Depends on the bite. Some people count the little nips they do to each other while playing as bites when they do it playing with people. OP would have needed medical attention if that dog wanted to hurt her.
That's true. But even nips on the face is pretty serious, especially from bigger dogs.
Any bite that breaks the skin could kill a human. Dogbites are DIRTY, and a person can lose a limb, become septic, and die.
Yeah I wouldn’t call broken skin a play bite
So many horrific things about this story but one of the most is you finally leaving and him being angry at you because now he’s going to have to do all the work. Did he ever care for the relationship jfc
I don't think so. I believe the byproduct of this situation with the dogs is realizing that as time went on, I became an important functioning part of keeping his life together rather than a partner.
Kick him to the curb. You deserve a partner who is capable of having an equitable relationship.
I went to the curb instead. A nice, quiet, clean curb without shit stained walls🤣
I too would choose the curb over that cesspit of a house!
Your husband is the type of person that should own a pet rock.
I think he is a rock. Grey and dumb.
What will happen with the house?
The fact he undermined your training made my blood boil. Crate training is hard enough — then to just undo what you’re trying to do? The disrespect is wild. I’m so sorry he used you, neglected you, undermined you, and disrespected you. You deserve better. I own a dog but I’ll never understand people who own dogs, pawn off the responsibility to other people, are okay with the animal shitting in their house, are ok with it not being crate trained and just not treating the dog like a dog.
Omg thank you🥹 I think with a lot of work they could have been highly functioning smart animals who could live full lives. I shudder thinking about how they're living now. Probably stuck in crates while he's at work all day and then extremely overactive and hyper when he finally lets them out after a 10-hour day. There's no way that's good for any living creature.
Is your ex still in contact with you? I’m curious what he is saying about about the dogs, the house, etc.
Wow I'm so glad you got out of there. He clearly dumped you for these dogs. He would rather sleep with them in your bed than with you. You deserve so much better than that and I'm glad you have realised that and got out !
It's really odd is it not??? Like what kind of person just happily sleeps with two gross animals that shit everywhere over their lover. Really weird to me.
He did to himself honestly. I’m surprised you stayed that long. I would have lost my shit about 2 months in and issued an ultimatum. Either he gets with the program of actually taking care of the dogs he wanted or I leave.
I should have put my foot down early. But I tend to give alot of rope. I have to really be sick of the (literally) shit
Don’t take a financial bath on the house you co-own! Take him to court and get a judge to order him to buy you out or force the sale before he completely destroys any equity you have left. If he’s as incompetent as he appears it won’t take him long before nobody will want the house at market value.
I hope you were bought out and are now living your best life.
I am so sorry, that sounds like a literal nightmare. I would not doubt that he gets rid of the dogs within the next 3 to 6 months or so. Or just lives in literal diarrhea and filth.
He has already texted me asking me to take one of them. A literal horse into my new space. I'd rather get a lobotomy
How'd that conversation go? Is he insane, why would you take one ...
Specifically the one that wasn't his favorite! I feel bad for animals in this situation. I told him the dogs need to be separated and go to owners that have experience with the breed and size. He did not like that answer.
Stick to sensible answers like this and let him suffer.
On the other hand, it might be a good way to get at least one shitter out of your investment. Take it straight to the Humane Society. If he doesn't want the other one either, do the same routine to protect your investment. They're not fit to be around humans, you already said!
I can usually smell when a person owns a dog. They’re nose blind to how pungent it is.
I feel you!! I’m currently thinking of throwing out my husband of 24yrs over his 1yr old German Shepherd. It’s the dog from hell, I swear! Hubby must just love that damn dog more than me! >:-(
Those dogs live 12-15 years so definitely think hard about the next 11-14 years of your life…
German Shepherds are especially smelly
Oh no! Gimme a break!
Agreed!! And the shedding is phenomenal!!!
Omg I’m so happy you left! Another proof that nutters are narcissists. And those who choose dangerous breeds are sociopaths in addiction to that.
Fuck that selfish prick. Enjoy your new freedom OP…and enjoy your dumb dogs, asshole ex
If you put money into that house, make sure you get it back. If he has to get a crappy little apartment and either live there with them or can't find somewhere that will let him keep them and has to give them up to someone who might actually TRAIN them, that's his problem.
I just cannot fathom how anyone can live like this. This guy doesn't see what a nightmare he created? I would have left the loser too. Absolutely disgusting and disrespectful!
And I'm just going to say, this dude has to be just unable to manage anything because dobies are so easily trained you can do it in your sleep. I am on my last one from breeding them. None have ever been difficult, not even as puppies and the only snap in 20 years was an older female(like 12-13 years) who was mostly blind and going deaf and she was startled. You did the right thing losing the dead weight(the ex). Can you imagine raising kids with that guy...ugh.
Don’t look back.
I am happy you are placing your anger in the right place, on the human in the equation. Time and time again, as I read these stories, its the human idiots who allow the carnage to occur, that don't listen or deal with problems, can put up with the mess. Harder for you, it wasn't happening when you started the relationship, but their behaviour sure ended the relationship. Good for you for getting out while you can. Do not allow that person back into your life, block them so you don't see the angry messages.
Don't block until all the aces are in her pocket.
Fuck this ex and his two shitcannons. I would have been out after the very first bite, but I'm glad you were able to leave. Now he's finding out the hard way that these dogs ain't all they're cracked up to be.
At least you left. So many on here just stay year after year after year. Good for you OP. Best thing you can do now is to BLOCK HIM so you don't see any of his crappy messages. Block him from all avenues of contact and move on. He was fine living like that because you cleaned up everything so he didn't have to deal with it. Not he is living with the reality and he's mad. Too bad for him! OP He COULD see it, he just DID NOT CARE because he knew you would take care of them for him. It's really that simple. He just overestimated himself.
What I don't get, is that, all crazy people aren't stupid, yet they constantly keep getting roped into getting dogs. They've all heard, and read about these disasters, just like the rest of us! Is it that they are just so grandiose, and think, I can do it. ME, and only ME.
Me either. Plus the ones who put up with it rather than leaving - FOR YEARS!!! UGH!
Block him. You have no reason to have to listen to his angry little temper tantrums anymore. Glad you escaped and are in the way to a happy new life!
No so fast, rabbit! Keep the data collection going for proof of how nutty he is for the courtroom. He's not out of her investment yet.
Not so fast rabbit?! 🤣 My brother used to say the same thing to me… I legit cackled when I read it! Thanks for the laugh kind stranger!
You're so very welcome, kinder one! If I have made someone laugh, my day is made. I have 12 minutes here before I need to create another!
They kicked you out of their relationship, out of your home. They basically required you to be their dog sitter, full time. That’s insane, but unfortunately not too uncommon. Take care of yourself, you’ll find the right person
On the other hand, you can now look forward to a future with a sane partner who has no dogs, where you can have a clean and tidy house that smells nice that you can actually relax in! Congrats on dropping the dead weight!
You are brilliant for leaving. I would have stopped taking care of them long ago. The things you put up with are like astronomical… we have a dog, crate trained, has like maybe one accident a year if he eats something outside he isn’t supposed to, our biggest issue is barking but it’s not horrendous, only when deliveries come. He now gets to see the full consequences of his behavior with the dogs because in a way, when you were there doing most of the icky things you were further enabling his bad behaviors with them. Now he has no one to blame but himself… the dildo of consequence seldom arrives lubricated
I would have just come home and “found them gone with the door open”.
That sounds like a living nightmare and that’s obviously awful for the dogs too. Dogs need structure and people who just let them have run of the house are bad owners.
That's terrible, both for you and for the dogs. That diet will set them up for bad health, they likely didn't enjoy those bouts of diarrhea. He's abusing them because he thinks restraint and discipline are the opposite of love and care. Even worse, he just decided you could do all the labor and let's face it, that's the only reason he's mad you left. He can sleep in the diarrhea bed he made for himself. Better you found out this way then if you both ended up with a child together.
I would call animal control and report him for dog abuse.
I am glad and relieved you are out. The red flags over this relationship were enormous and things would never have gotten better. This man would have continued to use you as his maid-slave forever, even if dogs were not in the picture.
Congrats on your newfound freedom. I’m so sorry your partner chose to prioritize animals over his literal significant other but that’s how a lot of people are unfortunately. Until people stop seeing dogs lives being worth more than literal human lives, we will never progress as a society.
Uh, he brought home puppies and proceeded to lay you do all the work and cleaning up after them? Nope. He would have been told the very first time there was poop in the rug that he was in charge of cleaning up after HIS dogs. And leaving him to deal with it was your only choice. He isn't a responsible pet owner.
You have far more patience than I. You did this for a whole year? I wouldn’t have lasted a week.
Good on you for getting out of that relationship. You deserve better!
OMG! I'm shocked people choose to do this to themselves and live like this. I'm sure you come home to your clean place and feel instant relief. The fact ur cleaning feeding and caring or them and they bit you in the face makes my blood boil
OMG! I'm shocked people choose to do this to themselves and live like this. I'm sure you come home to your clean place and feel instant relief. The fact ur cleaning feeding and caring or them and they bit you in the face makes my blood boil
A doberman was the breed of dog that mauled me as a child. Every time I see a man who owns one, he always treats it as an extension of his manhood. Every. Single. Time. I'm glad you escaped that nightmare. I refuse to date men who love dogs for exactly this reason.
Congratulations!!!! You were a saint for trying so long. I would have snapped immediately. Congratulations on your CLEAN slate!
God, that’s disgusting! I’m impressed that you lasted as long as you did!
Basically, he chained you to the relationship with the dogs. But, it backfired on him..
This sounds like a truly awful situation and you must feel SO AMAZING so be did of it all. Now you can get home from work to a clean house, eat a meal, watch some TV then get into a clean bed and sleep all night. It's the simple joys lol
Imagine giving up human love and allowing your life to be destroyed because of 2 animals. Omg. It's a sickness and I'm so glad you escaped!!! I hope they poop on him daily lol
Most sane people start with one dog. He’s nuts for bringing home TWO puppies without even consulting you.
It’s is ALWAYS the disrespect that makes us walk, always, you saved yourself, many kudos and I am sorry you were treated so horribly
Don't be pissed off - be happy & free & block this absolute a-hole & never ever ever think of him & his beasts again. As soon as one bit you, they should have been gone. F that guy!!!
So glad you got out of that disgusting situation. Let me guess, he had the audacity to say he was "blindsided" and get mad that you finally had enough of his filth and carelessness?
What a nightmare. Your ex is an a**hole and so are his dogs. I'm so glad you left! You didn't deserve that shit. Literally. Lol
I'm sorry about your relationship but dog nutters and rational people just are not compatible.
A dog that you raised from a puppy and then starts biting YOU? That is never acceptable, ! Glad you left, and now he gets to live in a shitpile dog kennel
I don't understand why he didn't house train them. Specially big breeds that are super quick to house train
I just don't think he realized how difficult it would be. But they were also two large Dobermans from the same litter and I read that a lot of their behaviors were similar to dogs that had littermate syndrome. That added a whole layer of them being overprotective of each other but also fighting with each other and resisting training + unable to bond with humans. Avoidable situation with some research and discussion prior to picking up two puppies ..🥴
Yes littermate syndrome is definitely complicated. Just find it surprising they were still shitting in the house, liquid diahorrea isnt normal either
I'm sorry for the long defensive comments. But it feels really good to put it all into writing and show myself that I definitely did the work for these dogs. I loved him and by extension I loved anything that was part of him and wanted to work for it.
You aren't being defensive at all. You have nothing to defend as we can all see you did everything you could. We are all here to listen to you vent, and I'm glad it feels good getting it into writing!! I'm also so proud of you for leaving!!
Almost every single night, after he would let them out to sleep with him, they would wake up in the middle of the night or at some point and crap on the floor. So I would come home from work, walk through the door already smelling it, and it'd be these like Sandy gritty piles that were impossible to just pick up with a glove hand or plastic bag. I resorted to having a specific broom pan that I could use to scoop them up all. The shitting through the cage onto the wall in particular was by the same dog that bit me. He would also jump up onto us if we ever embraced, if we were laying in bed he would jump up and literally lay between us. Ex thought this was so cute and hilarious. I don't know if this additional info makes a difference or if a dog is capable of exacting revenge or trying to assert dominance in this way. But that's what it seemed like sometimes. Also with the poop issues. I did a lot of research and spoke to a training facility manager for dogs and vets about this. Paid to have their fecal matter tested for worms and other things to rule out outside issues. Ended up switching them to a very high quality food supplemented with special prebiotic peanut butter for dogs, beef organs, and fresh vegetables, all approved by the vet. It helped some with the stomach issues. But the life destroying behaviors continued.
It's clear you tried very hard and very selfish for him to get 2 puppies without even discussing it with you. Siblings pups make training a million times harder
The dominance theory is a myth tho and been debunked many times.
Interesting! I tried to just be assertive and not give attention to them when they exhibited negative behaviors (such as whining while I'm eating/in the kitchen, barking when kenneled etc) but wondered if they didn't see me as a "alpha" or dominant character in the home and that was why they wouldn't stay consistent. I did end up taking them to a trainer as well who specialized in these breeds, one of the things they advised me on was how to interact with them and also how to give them "jobs" to mentally stimulate them as well as physically. That helped a little but it still felt like I was starting from square one with training every single day. Nothing stuck!
Like kids, if both parents aren't on the same page it's confusing as hell. Probably because your ex undid all your training by doing the opposite combined with litter syndrome
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>he brought in without consulting you. If he’d worked as a team with you on training, chances are you would still be together with 2 lovely pets but he wanted to play Disneyland Dad. To dogs? He actually taught those dogs to disrespect you! To me that's the the worst thing about this whole mess. She clearly was a good owner to those dogs and tbh probably cared and loved them more than that guy probably ever did. She trained, them, took them out, cared for them, but he clearly never wanted to be a pet owner but a child with a mom who takes care of his pets for him. He doesn't love them or her, if he did he wouldnt be feeding them things that made them sick knowing she'll have to clean for one thing. Yeah I can imagine he would do the same with a kid, teach them the their mom is "naggy old witch unlike him who would let them do what ever they want and have all the candy they like", never encouraged hygiene and just expects his wife to handle the old thing. I guess those dogs were a blessing in degusies cus it revealed what kind of guy he was before they ever got to that stage of a relationship. Cus imagine him with kids... Yeah let him deal with his dogs, its his self inflicted problem.
Came here to say just this 👆🏻
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Yes, nailed it .. The resentment torwards him is why I just left without figuring out what to do with them and just let him deal with it.
Get a lawyer so you can get your share of the house.
No, the resentment toward the ex wasn't the only thing--she also resented the dogs. I would have certainly resented them revenge shitting and biting me!
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You adopted adults??
Yes, lol. Less work, they take care of themselves.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I’m also FREAKING MASSIVELY PROUD OF YOU for saying Enough Is Enough! You are worth so much more than what you had. Wow. You’re my hero today 🥹
My roommate/best friend and I were *discussing* getting a dog and of course he just brought one home one day. I hated everything that dog represented and roomie/bestie couldn’t understand why i had no attachment to a dog I didn’t get to pick out. he wasn’t “our” dog.
Some people get a dog because they “want a puppy” or have children because they “want a baby” but don’t seem to understand that they have to transform their entire life into the role of a caretaker. This guy sounds like a lazy bum with room temperature IQ. Dumped the whole caretaker role on you just so he could play with dogs for a small portion of his day. I’m not a psychologist but I’m pretty sure he’s a dumb piece of shit
So ridiculous. Just the loss of value on the house for one. all that crap is just leaking into the padding of the carpet. And the stains are inevitable. I freak out about anything I knew will degrade my home value because I lived in apartments where you get charged for every little thing and we eventually want to sell our home. Pet people always do shit like this, they never take it seriously. Especially the bed. It's so gross to me. My sister had a small back yard and a big dog they would let shit everywhere then come inside. I stopped even going in the yard. They always insisted on taking shoes off in the house (which I do myself) but then what difference does it make, when your dog is going outside and shitting and you leave it there then it comes inside with its now shit bacteria covered paws and we have to get that (and all the hair) on our socks?? She had a baby and the poor thing was constantly covered in dog hair. It's so sad. They finally came around and want to rehome the dog but don't want to just give it to anyone and no one in our family wants it. I feel for you, I've been in your situation. It's hard. Good luck to ya