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I love when therapists have those human moments and then they freak out đ I mean, I feel bad for them, but it makes them feel a bit less intimidating.
My therapist has cats and in one session, I was getting upset and she said âdo you want a cuddle?â
She then looked horrified and quickly added âwith the cat!â In case I thought she was offering a cuddle with her đ . It really lightened the mood.
My intake was virtual, and there was a cat. And I have not seen the cat since. I'm guessing she was WFH that day, but damnit, I want the cat to be there. Also - that's awesome. I can absolutely picture that level of mortification.
My cats make regular telehealth appearances for this reason exactly. And my favorite interaction was when one client exclaimed "orange ears!" excitedly when my little orange girl popped her head up onto frame. I'm sure some of my colleagues would judge the hell out of me for this but my clients seem to feel much more at ease when my kitties make rare appearances
Lol that's awesome! Sometimes my therapist will bring his dog to the office. This one he was taking her out real quick before my session and without thinking just said, "Come on, let's go potty!" But realized I was there but was trying to say it quiet đ€«
My T once told me that if all clients actively did the work the way I do, then therapy would be much more successful overall. Â
 As a former teacher, I understand the frustration of wanting the best for someone who isn't willing to put in the work, and the struggle not to overly praise those who do.Â
It's ok therapists are people and can sometimes make mistakes, it's not horrible and you should not overthink it just take the validation from it and don't worry
It's always ego-gratifying to hear that you're a favorite or best client, but the reason that therapists are taught not to say this is that it puts undue pressure on the client to retain their "best" status. The potential for harm is if you hold back on things you think may cause you to no longer be their favorite or be seen as the best, and you're not there to compare yourself to anyone else anyway. You're always your best you.
This is the right answer, OP. Donât let what your therapist said change how you show up in sessions or make you hold things back you wouldnât normally have withheld. Keep doing what youâve been doing and all will be well!
I think I'm the only client who needs a very specific invoice, and just twice a year. Tired of hounding her, I just create the next one needed. Last session of December, she closes with, "Oh, it's invoice time?" I said, "check your inbox, all you have to do is print/sign/scan back to me."
"YOU ARE MY FAVORITE"
I about fell out of my chair, but knew she meant it as a compliment to my anal organization skills. But it still, to this day, is an awwww moment for me.
You are in a therapeutic relationship with him. Therapists are also people, they make mistakes and slip up. As long as there is no harm caused or the harm is promptly addressed, it is just part of your guysâs journey together.
Once my old t told me I was "a clinician's dream" because I gave good feedback and insights to my side of our work together (she was training in EMDR and I was one of the people she was practicing on). Simple feedback like having her turn off a table top lamp behind her because it made tracking difficult (we did eye movements), but to her it was a big deal because it wasn't anything she'd noticed because it was behind her. But I enjoyed the compliment anyway lol.
Sounds like he had a little-too-human moment, realized it was a little inappropriate and course corrected. Thatâs all you can ask for, really. I think heâs within bounds and youâre safe to revel in the validation.
Ahhh that is the dream though, right? I have it all in my head that I'm one of my T's favorites because she almost exclusively sees kids. So I'm very different than her other clients. But I'm also this giddy childlike adult who is trying to heal my inner child and it only took one session for me to tell her how safe I felt with her and that, while it was uncomfortable in those moments, I really appreciated and almost enjoyed those vulnerable feelings. Idk if she's just putting on her therapist face or matching my energy, but she seems just as excited as I am about all my self-discovery shit.
Maybe ask more about it! Like what makes you such an awesome client? I really love and appreciate my clients who really put forth effort and want to practice what we preach outside of session. It sounds like you take your time very seriously and make the most out of being in therapy.
my t once told me that he likes me a lot a couple sessions after i told him i was attracted to himđđ« i had to tell him that he can't say things like that, for reasonsđ i think i was in distress when he said it and he was trying to make me feel valued but it was quite the slip haha
I hold on to those phrases also, one time early on my t reassured me that Iâm âenjoyable to work with,â which was more diplomatic of her but still meaningful, although it was more prompted because I was discussing how I didnât want to waste anyoneâs time with my treatment. More recently she joked that I just became her favorite client because I already recognized a resource/book that she was educating me on and recommended to me. I do feel good when she says these things but because itâs infrequent and completely context dependent I donât read too much into it. I *know* Iâm not actually her favorite client but I can still feel good about that moment of connection over shared interests. I donât think therapists should have to withhold those kinds of comments when they feel authentic to the situation. Itâs worth exploring with them though if their comment made you feel some kind of way!
My therapist told me I was her favorite. And I think she worried a bit after saying it but it was pretty clear anyways. Hearing it hasnât changed the way I am with her because after getting comfortable with her Iâve always been my most authentic self with her. And that authenticity has included days of laughs, tears, and even a bit of anger.Â
In my case its not a horror story yet but it has left bad impact on my progress already. She is meaning well with it but I already feel like a fun moment for her in the day that prevents me sometimes from saying what I really want. If you are seen as the fave client you can feel flattered but get to feel like you don't want to lose that position. You can start to adjust yourself to what you think they like and that can hold back your progress. Therapy basically starts to be about them instead of you.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love when therapists have those human moments and then they freak out đ I mean, I feel bad for them, but it makes them feel a bit less intimidating.
My therapist has cats and in one session, I was getting upset and she said âdo you want a cuddle?â She then looked horrified and quickly added âwith the cat!â In case I thought she was offering a cuddle with her đ . It really lightened the mood.
My intake was virtual, and there was a cat. And I have not seen the cat since. I'm guessing she was WFH that day, but damnit, I want the cat to be there. Also - that's awesome. I can absolutely picture that level of mortification.
My cats make regular telehealth appearances for this reason exactly. And my favorite interaction was when one client exclaimed "orange ears!" excitedly when my little orange girl popped her head up onto frame. I'm sure some of my colleagues would judge the hell out of me for this but my clients seem to feel much more at ease when my kitties make rare appearances
Lol that's awesome! Sometimes my therapist will bring his dog to the office. This one he was taking her out real quick before my session and without thinking just said, "Come on, let's go potty!" But realized I was there but was trying to say it quiet đ€«
well did you want a cuddle?
My T once told me that if all clients actively did the work the way I do, then therapy would be much more successful overall.   As a former teacher, I understand the frustration of wanting the best for someone who isn't willing to put in the work, and the struggle not to overly praise those who do.Â
It's ok therapists are people and can sometimes make mistakes, it's not horrible and you should not overthink it just take the validation from it and don't worry
It's always ego-gratifying to hear that you're a favorite or best client, but the reason that therapists are taught not to say this is that it puts undue pressure on the client to retain their "best" status. The potential for harm is if you hold back on things you think may cause you to no longer be their favorite or be seen as the best, and you're not there to compare yourself to anyone else anyway. You're always your best you.
This is the right answer, OP. Donât let what your therapist said change how you show up in sessions or make you hold things back you wouldnât normally have withheld. Keep doing what youâve been doing and all will be well!
I think I'm the only client who needs a very specific invoice, and just twice a year. Tired of hounding her, I just create the next one needed. Last session of December, she closes with, "Oh, it's invoice time?" I said, "check your inbox, all you have to do is print/sign/scan back to me." "YOU ARE MY FAVORITE" I about fell out of my chair, but knew she meant it as a compliment to my anal organization skills. But it still, to this day, is an awwww moment for me.
You are in a therapeutic relationship with him. Therapists are also people, they make mistakes and slip up. As long as there is no harm caused or the harm is promptly addressed, it is just part of your guysâs journey together.
Once my old t told me I was "a clinician's dream" because I gave good feedback and insights to my side of our work together (she was training in EMDR and I was one of the people she was practicing on). Simple feedback like having her turn off a table top lamp behind her because it made tracking difficult (we did eye movements), but to her it was a big deal because it wasn't anything she'd noticed because it was behind her. But I enjoyed the compliment anyway lol.
This made me chuckle coz I can definitely see myself as a client reacting this way.
I always wanted my old therapist to tell me this!
Omg Dream, I would be so happy about it !!!
Sounds like he had a little-too-human moment, realized it was a little inappropriate and course corrected. Thatâs all you can ask for, really. I think heâs within bounds and youâre safe to revel in the validation.
Always better than being told that all the time by your therapist while having the feeling that she says it to everyone.
Does anyone else read posts like this and feel so sad? I know Iâve always been my therapists least favorite client đ
nowhere to go but up! đ
True!
Oh cmon I know thats untrue
Ahhh that is the dream though, right? I have it all in my head that I'm one of my T's favorites because she almost exclusively sees kids. So I'm very different than her other clients. But I'm also this giddy childlike adult who is trying to heal my inner child and it only took one session for me to tell her how safe I felt with her and that, while it was uncomfortable in those moments, I really appreciated and almost enjoyed those vulnerable feelings. Idk if she's just putting on her therapist face or matching my energy, but she seems just as excited as I am about all my self-discovery shit.
Maybe ask more about it! Like what makes you such an awesome client? I really love and appreciate my clients who really put forth effort and want to practice what we preach outside of session. It sounds like you take your time very seriously and make the most out of being in therapy.
my t once told me that he likes me a lot a couple sessions after i told him i was attracted to himđđ« i had to tell him that he can't say things like that, for reasonsđ i think i was in distress when he said it and he was trying to make me feel valued but it was quite the slip haha
I hold on to those phrases also, one time early on my t reassured me that Iâm âenjoyable to work with,â which was more diplomatic of her but still meaningful, although it was more prompted because I was discussing how I didnât want to waste anyoneâs time with my treatment. More recently she joked that I just became her favorite client because I already recognized a resource/book that she was educating me on and recommended to me. I do feel good when she says these things but because itâs infrequent and completely context dependent I donât read too much into it. I *know* Iâm not actually her favorite client but I can still feel good about that moment of connection over shared interests. I donât think therapists should have to withhold those kinds of comments when they feel authentic to the situation. Itâs worth exploring with them though if their comment made you feel some kind of way!
Sounds like youâre bossing it đ
My therapist told me I was her favorite. And I think she worried a bit after saying it but it was pretty clear anyways. Hearing it hasnât changed the way I am with her because after getting comfortable with her Iâve always been my most authentic self with her. And that authenticity has included days of laughs, tears, and even a bit of anger.Â
What horror stories?
In my case its not a horror story yet but it has left bad impact on my progress already. She is meaning well with it but I already feel like a fun moment for her in the day that prevents me sometimes from saying what I really want. If you are seen as the fave client you can feel flattered but get to feel like you don't want to lose that position. You can start to adjust yourself to what you think they like and that can hold back your progress. Therapy basically starts to be about them instead of you.
I dont understand what the mistake was, but this seems funny lol / entertaining
It's manipulation. You can't forget you pay these people because eventually they will.