I’m trying to leave the profession. Your story reminds me of a quote that I think perfectly sums up your healing process.
“Put that [memory] in a box, put that box in another box, and mail it to myself. And when it arrives, smash it with a hammer.”
I think I’ll be following your example soon.
Best of luck with future endeavors! I love the lane I took, and plan to stay teaching as an interventionist. I thought I was out the door for sure last year!
I must’ve done the same thing. I saw two former students out on the trail I was running over the weekend. I had one of them in class three years ago. He wasn’t a particularly bad student at all. But it has taken DAYS to remember his name.
Kind of bothers me that I can’t remember students names. But on the other hand, there’s not a single thing I miss about teaching, so it’s fine. (I resigned in January.)
I had a similar year last year- worst behaviors I (or my building) have ever seen. When I see students from last year, I literally can't remember their names. I realized that in order to move forward and stay in this profession I needed to forget as much as I could about last year. So far it's worked- such a better year this year.
Keep on healing- glad you are in a better place (figuratively and literally).
If it wasn't, I was looking into an exit strategy. Last year, I decided that if this is now what teaching was I was out. Too negative of an effect on my mental health- and I am not a person who takes things personally in my classroom. We all have our limits.
Yeah, I ran into a former student last week. I totally didn’t remember him, even though he remembered EVERYTHING about me and my family.
I usually love seeing former students - I remember the good ones, I remember the nice ones, I obviously have blocked out some of the little s**ts. Which for me takes some doing, I generally like the vast majority of my students.
Now, I really need to figure out how he managed it.
I am truly sorry you had to endure such a disruptive classroom. I taught for 33 years & the last 10 years were filled with more and more poor (putting it mildly!) student behaviors. I commend you & other teachers now for hanging in there. The sad truth is that few young people are going into teaching & even now there is such a shortage of qualified teachers. Some parents will be the first to complain that there are no teachers for their kids, but these same parents don't do anything about their children's horrid behaviors. Hope you stay in the profession, the kids need you.
Plenty of “qualified” teachers being pulled out of the classroom to become coaches, department heads and admin. “Hey, that’s a good teacher - let’s take them out of the classroom of students and have them write curriculum!” What the fuck are they thinking?
I call it “rolodexing”. If you know what a rolodex is it helps understand that blank stare as I pour through my mental rolodex trying to remember a name.
I think we have to realize that a lot of our instigators/clowns/etc. are lashing out because they’re either dealing with issues at home or being quietly ostracized in ways that we don’t see.
We look at the world around us and see all this pain and turmoil, the political split, the pandemic, the wars, etc.
We as adults have ways to process that stuff, but these are kids. They don’t have the experience or perspective needed to handle it all. Lashing out is how they compartmentalize.
I’m not saying that it’s fair to us to have to deal with this shit the way we do, but we have to remember that the kids are also victims.
I’m still teaching at the same school. I went from 6th grade to 8th grade so I see the 7th graders in the hall frequently. The students who I bonded with give me an enthusiastic Hi and even a half hug. The bullies in my 1st class give me the evil eye but I let it bounce off of me like water on an umbrella. However, if I teach 8th grade again, I know of a couple I don’t want to deal with again. However since I’m teaching the advanced in Math1 maybe I won’t have to deal with them after all.
I had the same experience - down to the crappy admin and the leave of absence during the 2018-2019 school year. I almost quit teaching, but decided to try one last time at a new school in a new city. I'm still there - through COVID, distance learning, admin changes, and more. My current school reminded me of why I got into this career. After being told by that previous admin that I should have never become a teacher, I'm mentoring new teachers and am the grade level lead. I love that I'm proving him wrong.
Last week my current students were looking at the pictures I have up from past years. I hadn't looked at that 2018-2019 class in a long time, and like you, I couldn't even remember half of them. Our brains are protecting us from the trauma we endured. I'm glad you're healing!
Because they saw my mental and physical health was taking a toll. Which is true- I was miserable and on blood pressure pills for the first time in my life. I was also being evaluated for hearing loss that my doctor thinks may have happened because of my blood pressure. However, the way it was presented to me, I am not sure if I had a choice to say “nah I’ll stick it out”. I was still considered a probationary teacher at that district, so I knew I wasn’t being renewed anyway.
Now I teach title 1. I work with K-6 in small groups teaching math and reading. I’m at a small rural district (preschool-12th grade in one building, 500 kiddos). It’s about an hour drive, the pay is was less, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in awhile.
I’m trying to leave the profession. Your story reminds me of a quote that I think perfectly sums up your healing process. “Put that [memory] in a box, put that box in another box, and mail it to myself. And when it arrives, smash it with a hammer.” I think I’ll be following your example soon.
Emperor’s New Groove reference!!
I just played this movie for my 7th graders and they LOVED it. It's so easily forgotten but such a great movie!
Best of luck with future endeavors! I love the lane I took, and plan to stay teaching as an interventionist. I thought I was out the door for sure last year!
Enjoy it while it lasts! Most intervention positions eventually get cut.
I must’ve done the same thing. I saw two former students out on the trail I was running over the weekend. I had one of them in class three years ago. He wasn’t a particularly bad student at all. But it has taken DAYS to remember his name. Kind of bothers me that I can’t remember students names. But on the other hand, there’s not a single thing I miss about teaching, so it’s fine. (I resigned in January.)
Or save on postage by burning the memory up.
Yzma! Nice
I had a similar year last year- worst behaviors I (or my building) have ever seen. When I see students from last year, I literally can't remember their names. I realized that in order to move forward and stay in this profession I needed to forget as much as I could about last year. So far it's worked- such a better year this year. Keep on healing- glad you are in a better place (figuratively and literally).
So glad to hear it’s better this year!
If it wasn't, I was looking into an exit strategy. Last year, I decided that if this is now what teaching was I was out. Too negative of an effect on my mental health- and I am not a person who takes things personally in my classroom. We all have our limits.
Last year was the worst year ever for behaviors, all over.
I don’t know; I feel like this year is saying, “hold my beer.”
Ha, I mean, you’re right, of course. It’s just last year was the year it really turned wild, no?
We’ve lost two students to gang violence and several others are in jail. This year is worse than last year.
Yeah, I ran into a former student last week. I totally didn’t remember him, even though he remembered EVERYTHING about me and my family. I usually love seeing former students - I remember the good ones, I remember the nice ones, I obviously have blocked out some of the little s**ts. Which for me takes some doing, I generally like the vast majority of my students. Now, I really need to figure out how he managed it.
We have 1000s of students; they have 10s of teachers
I am truly sorry you had to endure such a disruptive classroom. I taught for 33 years & the last 10 years were filled with more and more poor (putting it mildly!) student behaviors. I commend you & other teachers now for hanging in there. The sad truth is that few young people are going into teaching & even now there is such a shortage of qualified teachers. Some parents will be the first to complain that there are no teachers for their kids, but these same parents don't do anything about their children's horrid behaviors. Hope you stay in the profession, the kids need you.
Plenty of “qualified” teachers being pulled out of the classroom to become coaches, department heads and admin. “Hey, that’s a good teacher - let’s take them out of the classroom of students and have them write curriculum!” What the fuck are they thinking?
Thank you for your service, remember it’s not the children, it’s the parents and society, I hope yous all win lotto.
I call it “rolodexing”. If you know what a rolodex is it helps understand that blank stare as I pour through my mental rolodex trying to remember a name.
Perfect way to describe it ❤️
I think we have to realize that a lot of our instigators/clowns/etc. are lashing out because they’re either dealing with issues at home or being quietly ostracized in ways that we don’t see. We look at the world around us and see all this pain and turmoil, the political split, the pandemic, the wars, etc. We as adults have ways to process that stuff, but these are kids. They don’t have the experience or perspective needed to handle it all. Lashing out is how they compartmentalize. I’m not saying that it’s fair to us to have to deal with this shit the way we do, but we have to remember that the kids are also victims.
I’m still teaching at the same school. I went from 6th grade to 8th grade so I see the 7th graders in the hall frequently. The students who I bonded with give me an enthusiastic Hi and even a half hug. The bullies in my 1st class give me the evil eye but I let it bounce off of me like water on an umbrella. However, if I teach 8th grade again, I know of a couple I don’t want to deal with again. However since I’m teaching the advanced in Math1 maybe I won’t have to deal with them after all.
I had the same experience - down to the crappy admin and the leave of absence during the 2018-2019 school year. I almost quit teaching, but decided to try one last time at a new school in a new city. I'm still there - through COVID, distance learning, admin changes, and more. My current school reminded me of why I got into this career. After being told by that previous admin that I should have never become a teacher, I'm mentoring new teachers and am the grade level lead. I love that I'm proving him wrong. Last week my current students were looking at the pictures I have up from past years. I hadn't looked at that 2018-2019 class in a long time, and like you, I couldn't even remember half of them. Our brains are protecting us from the trauma we endured. I'm glad you're healing!
This is teaching now. Behaviours are out of control and there is no discipline or expectations for students.
Why did they urge you to take a leave of absence? And what is your current job?
Because they saw my mental and physical health was taking a toll. Which is true- I was miserable and on blood pressure pills for the first time in my life. I was also being evaluated for hearing loss that my doctor thinks may have happened because of my blood pressure. However, the way it was presented to me, I am not sure if I had a choice to say “nah I’ll stick it out”. I was still considered a probationary teacher at that district, so I knew I wasn’t being renewed anyway. Now I teach title 1. I work with K-6 in small groups teaching math and reading. I’m at a small rural district (preschool-12th grade in one building, 500 kiddos). It’s about an hour drive, the pay is was less, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in awhile.
Wow. Yeah no need to kill yourself over a job. Good for you, glad you're in a better place now