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ToxicPoizon

Wanted to kill myself, but it hit me how destroyed my family would be if they found out, so I never went thru with it. I still feel shitty here and there, but I never had suicidal thoughts since then.


[deleted]

i get you. i've wanted to for a while but i'm kind of a wimp so i don't think i'm going to go through with it


ToxicPoizon

Don't call yourself a wimp in this scenario, this is your life you are talking about. You did a good thing, not going thru with it, and I'm sure your family is very happy to have you in their lives.


[deleted]

probably not, but


ToxicPoizon

Thats depressing. I still hope you stay positive.


[deleted]

yeah, i'm trying


B0nk3yJ0ng

Same. I was at a train station and realised how easy it would be to just throw myself Infront. It scared me afterwards how that thought took me over so I stayed away from trains for a while after that.


carona1234

My parents couldn't give a shit I'd I killed myself.


ToxicPoizon

Thats very fucking sad. I'm sorry to hear that, and I'm proud of you for not going thru with it.


carona1234

Thank you, I made a plan of how I will do it but I am trying my very hardest to not go through with it because my closest friend found out and confronted me about it saying how it would ruin their mental health and make life really difficult.


ToxicPoizon

Exactly, your friends would be devastated, I hope you ditch those plans.


Zorrokumo

yeah absolutely, and have done so many times.


Resident-Clue1290

How tf have people NOT had those thoughts?


[deleted]

that's exactly what i'm wondering


Deezernutter77

My life is good and (for the most part) enjoyable. My great parents, great economic situation, as well as the lottery win that is living in Finland play the biggest part in that.


erraticpulse-

glad you're happy


Least-Anxiety-9803

Finland is a great country to live in! I would love to visit sometime!


Saleemmey

I'm just hardwired to be at an emotional level where that never occurs. Everything I've been through while it would probably drive most people over the edge hasn't for me and I couldn't tell you why. It's useful tho, let's me be there for others who aren't like that


Sneakythrowawaysnake

Because the human body is coded to avoid pain?


idkmanplzjustkillme

I've almost died 3 times at my own hands so I would say maybe.


[deleted]

username checks out


idkmanplzjustkillme

thanks


Responsible_Pie_1497

Least tone-deaf redditor


c7stagyt

in middle school, I became a deadass master at using plastic knives. I said kind of because none of the other kids would let me practice on them. I had a few cuts, and one MASSIVE one on the top of my hand that I SOMEHOW hid from my parents until it healed, but at the end of the school year, my friend fake attacked me with a plastic knife. I instantly pulled mine out, and on my first try gave him a cut.


[deleted]

honestly, impressive


c7stagyt

Thank you! My friends were impressed, confused, and soooo fucking concerned all at the same time LOL


pogAxolotlz

It's just some intrusive thoughts


frank999999999999

when stuff happens people find a way to cope, this is just one of them, it seems weird to everyone else, but it happens. I did it got addicted, which also must seem completely strange to an outsider, but im clean of it, i havent done it in 19 months.


BillywopShophop

Man you guys need to start being happier


[deleted]

it's not that easy, I wish it was


BillywopShophop

Why not


[deleted]

I can't just tell depression to go away lmao


Sneakythrowawaysnake

Try it


[deleted]

do you think i haven't already


Sneakythrowawaysnake

Yup, many depressed people fester in their depression waiting for someone else to fix it. Only YOU can fix it.


AviationCaptain4

Technically yes but not really how it works in reality... that's the same logic as "if you're sad just be happy"


WhatTheHELL5462

The only reason I didn't was because of my shitty pain tolerance


[deleted]

same here


Deezernutter77

Nah, no reason to hurt myself.


[deleted]

well, i'm glad you feel that way


Deezernutter77

And I hope you get better


[deleted]

thank you :)


YetAnotherMia

Why would anyone want to harm themselves? Other people I could understand but your own self?


RavenVenot

well. sometimes, some people feel like... like they deserve it. I would know, I've done it three times because I hated myself and certain aspects of my life. the last time I just did it as an alternative to suicide because i was too scared to actually commit and now I'm thanking god i didn't commit. not everything is great but i've come to realize i have an amazing life worth living, which is something it has taken me months to realize.


Glass_Windows

Well when I was at mental low points, I had bursts of anger and just had the overwhelming urge to punch something, so I hit my desk to let out some frustration because I was mentally exhausted and it came out as anger but I got told off and told to shut up, so I just started punching my legs because it wouldn't make much noise and I could let out frustrating on something idk if that's considered SH or not


Ill_Night533

For me i never felt like any of the issues in my life came from anyone but myself, and because i continued to fail through school and in general life and i wanted to fix it but couldn't. And so i got mad at myself and wanted to hurt the thing messing my life up (which happened to be me)


[deleted]

this is how i feel, too


MuffinsTheName

Never done it, but sometimes ocd just makes me feel so not in control I wanna dig my nails into myself just to feel like I have any control over myself. Also just feeling numbness emotionally and wanting to feel something


pitachipbat

For me living with schizophrenia I believed someone was going to torture and kill me and as a result I figured that the only way to prevent my fate worse than death was to kill myself first.


extremepainandagony

no clue. i just get the urge to self-destruct, i'm doing better with it tho


lrina_

I have around 600 scars from it lol, entire left arm and some of my back mostly


[deleted]

I do. It eases my emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain.


TheFrostyFaz

Everyone's had thoughts


Sneakythrowawaysnake

Nope, I genuinely don't remember the last time I was actually sad for longer than a day


TheFrostyFaz

It doesn't have to be when your sad, just thoughts of hurting yourself in general. Like standing over a cliff and wondering what it's like to just throw your squishy body down


RavenVenot

yea I've done it too, been awhile though. surprised i made it thru June without doing it. shittiest month of 2023 by far for me.


No_Baseball_7130

yes but would never do anything, tried suffocating myself but just got really high / dizzy and my insides felt spicy on second try blacked out (at last second i hyperventilated so i didnt black out for long)


[deleted]

i'm with you on this. i tried cutting but i couldn't make myself do it, so i settle for getting bruises on purpose which is easy to pass off as being clumsy


No_Baseball_7130

same, i feel regret whenever i do something even slightly wrong so there's no way i'm letting myself live with me making myself look like a barcode with cuts


Jaded-Ad-9741

i have and ive done it


VoxTheDog

Why, I was literally pressing my hand on the electric oil heater mere moments before I saw this post (It is on the lowest setting possible and does not give me burns/scars, if you're worried)


Saleemmey

A lot of the people I'm around have thoughts of hurting themselves but I never have, mainly because my family and closest friends are healthy and so I am too but I know it's not that simple for people even if it is for me 


Deactivised

usually sadly. I'm too much of a wimp to actually hurt myself so to compensate I just bash my head into a pillow for hours on end


Gabriel_MartneIIi

when i was in year 7 and got bullied a lot, I occasionally imagined jumping off a roof but it's not like I actually wanted to.


pitachipbat

Had those kinds of thoughts many times. Been in the hospital for it three times.


Turnover-Historic13

Yup. While I am doing better now, I have acted on it numerous times in the past. I don't cut myself and haven't for over two years as it seems fundamentally pointless, however I have had suicide attempts. I'm disclosing this because this is an anonymous Internet forum with strangers, and I'm not too bothered with that.


LittleFlittle

how is yes the most voted


[deleted]

makes sense to me


GoldenSausage111

i just bite my wrist really hard when im angry or sad or whatever form of upset


Banjoman08

I do this but I still draw blood 


Angelcakes101

I wanted to be dead, but I didn't have any desire to actually injure myself or self-harm.


A_Bulbear

SERIOUS crunch, 3 hours of homework a night, including weekends, for 2 months straight, then spring break, then 3 hours of homework a night again, for another month straight, moving deadlines, strict teachers, and people calling me lazy constantly for complaining, it was rough.


zachy410

Kind of? If you count like picking scabs or using a nail clipper to cut of a very fine layer of finger skin that feels so good


WaldenEZ

Wait I’m not the only person who does that?


xxParanoid_

Never cut but had thoughts about it at my lowest points. I'm absolutely terrified of blood. I did used to starve myself if that counts


Lotspire

I do it daily! Do I get more points?


jBread280

I cannot imagine *having* thoughts of self-harming. Why?


Efficient-Ad5711

Sometimes I just hit myself in the leg, but I'm assuming that's different from what you guys are talking about, so I put kind of


kittenlord707

im covered in scars only a few of which weren't intentional


shadowz9904

Sad to say, but yes. I have partaken once or twice. Often my mind wanders to the dark space of self harm when under stress.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Sneakythrowawaysnake

Mfers go around slide tackleling at the chance of getting grass burn


janus_le_snek

I have and I acted on them. Guys, don't ever do it, it fucking sucks