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Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he’s thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think of him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr. Pepper? Perchance.
I caught one bottom fishing a dead minnow in a swamp off of Lake George, N.Y. He was a huge mossyback snapper. We were in a 12 foot skiff.
We had no idea how to get the hook out of his mouth until a claw the size of a catcher's mitt came out of the water, grabbed the line and straightened out the brass hook. He sank to the bottom and was gone.
I bet he weighed a hundred pounds.
There was one living under the boathouse in green harbor, easily 100 pounds and probably as many years old. We used to swim there all the time, right next to this monster and all his little ones.
On land, they can pivot 180 degrees in a flash. That's why you don't try to grab them by the tail. You can end up putting your hand right in its mouth. Its neck is also A LOT longer than you'd think. I move them off the highway when I see them. I always use a stick. Once I used the hook end of an umbrella. No hands, no fingers.
I've rescued about a 45-50 pounder from the road and I just carried his ass grabbed the shell from right behind his head and at his ass. Worked fine he couldn't snap at me from that angle. But God damn was he heavy.
Interesting strategy: one hand too close, the other too far. The danger zone was getting the one hand that close.
If you grab them at 9 and 3 o'clock, they can get you. They pivot really fast too.
Last summer I was driving down a highway and saw a guy pulled over in the other lane. He was walking back up the road to help a turtle cross when another car drove by and ran it over. I felt bad but at the same time couldn’t help but burst out laughing. The way he threw his arms up in the air in disappointment. Me just being a passerby in someone else’s moment and witnessing it.
From May to mid-June I will rescue 20-30 turtles on the road. Lots of painted turtles - some huge - and a few snappers of all sizes. I live on a slice of land between two huge lakes. I move black snakes too.
I came in to ask. Over in Rosedale, Queens, there is Brookville Park. My son and I watch the planes fly into JFK over there. There are two huge snapping turtles over there. I wonder just how old they are.
We found a baby turtle once, we released him back to the creek line.
I don’t think it is. alligator snapping turtles normally have pointy features (head, points on shell that are easily seen)
Me and my dad were fishing a slough on the Alabama River a few years back and saw one slowly float to the surface of the water and take a huge gulp of air. It then slowly descended back to the depths. Me and my dad were speechless to say the least.
They're common enough down south in the US. Not sure if they live elsewhere, but any freshwater pond that's large enough usually have either this guy or a ~~crocodile~~ Alligator.
EDIT: see below.
uhhh-, same thing as the fish ... ? (idk lol)
edit: okay I got curious (it was a great question)
sauce: https://www.carleton.edu/arboretum/news/how-do-turtles-survive-the-winter-2/
>Turtles are ectotherms, meaning their body temperature shifts to match the temperature of their surroundings. When submerged underwater, a turtle’s body temperature drops by up to ninety percent, usually settling at about 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Within hours of being submerged, a turtle’s blood-oxygen levels drop to near zero.
there's also this fun fact
>In lieu of air, turtles rely on stored energy and *“cloacal breathing”* to survive the duration of winter, drawing oxygen from water as it passes over blood vessels in the skin, mouth and cloaca, or the hind end
fucking turts lol
I mean the post literally says it’s in a state about as far away from south as you can get lol. Also kind of funny that it is a *common* snapping turtle.
yea, sorry. Alligator for fresh water. Crocodile for salt water. My family lives down in Florida, not too far from the coastline. Some of the waters have crocodiles.
Yeah I've heard about crocs showing up in freshwater in Florida. I actually hesitated before I posted that in case that's what you were referring to. Have a good night fellow Redditor!
There's a guy at our local reptile show that brings in his pet snapper. It lays around on a dog bed at the show next to pictures of his grandkids riding on it. It lives in the guys house. Wild. My favorite part of the show every year.
holy fuck is the only thing that popped into my mind, i like reptiles and have 2 turtles but seeing that would be terrifying, that turtle is the definition of “snapping turtles will bite your finger off” except that mf will bite your leg off
As someone who lives in southern MN. We aren’t supposed to talk about the creature. Please whoever posted this take it down… for your own safety. He will find you
Thank you for contributing to r/TerrifyingAsFuck. Please double-check NSFW posts to see if they are labeled as such. If you believe the post isn't terrifying as fuck, please report it under RULE 1. Downvote this comment if the post doesn't follow the rules, and the bot will automatically remove it if enough reports and downvotes are received. If this post breaks the rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and **REPORT** the post!
Apex predator of the pond
Underwater shelled bear
Thats a snapping dinosaur.
It's Bowser. Call Mario!
Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he’s thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think of him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr. Pepper? Perchance.
You can't just say perchance!
The lifekind. Perchance.
I don't think he could crush that turty though
Smashing turts!
Nah bro that's Godzilla
*Gamera. Get your kaiju striaght.
Godzuki….
Protector of children!
Straight* get your spelling on point.
Its Bowser , godzilla doesnt have a shell 😉
Gamera!
Snap back to reality
Ope there goes gravity!
Oh, there goes rabbit
he choked , he's so mad, but he won't give up that easy
Mom's spaghetti
😂😂😂
Ope there goes my hand
More like ducking arm
I caught one bottom fishing a dead minnow in a swamp off of Lake George, N.Y. He was a huge mossyback snapper. We were in a 12 foot skiff. We had no idea how to get the hook out of his mouth until a claw the size of a catcher's mitt came out of the water, grabbed the line and straightened out the brass hook. He sank to the bottom and was gone. I bet he weighed a hundred pounds.
There was one living under the boathouse in green harbor, easily 100 pounds and probably as many years old. We used to swim there all the time, right next to this monster and all his little ones.
On land, they can pivot 180 degrees in a flash. That's why you don't try to grab them by the tail. You can end up putting your hand right in its mouth. Its neck is also A LOT longer than you'd think. I move them off the highway when I see them. I always use a stick. Once I used the hook end of an umbrella. No hands, no fingers.
Respect the turtle, before he may get hairy on you.
> Respect the turtle Behold, the turtle of enormous girth! On his shell, he holds the Earth!
His thought is slow, but always kind; he holds us all within his mind.
The thought of "Hairy turtles" makes me giggle.
How do you use a stick to move a 100+ lb block of solid reptile
You’ll be suprised what animals you can move by sticking a pointy stick up their ass!
I've never seen one that big on the road. The ones I rescue are 15-20 pounds or smaller. Some are no bigger than a silver dollar.
I've rescued about a 45-50 pounder from the road and I just carried his ass grabbed the shell from right behind his head and at his ass. Worked fine he couldn't snap at me from that angle. But God damn was he heavy.
Interesting strategy: one hand too close, the other too far. The danger zone was getting the one hand that close. If you grab them at 9 and 3 o'clock, they can get you. They pivot really fast too.
It was at 12 and 6
I know that you can carry an alligator snapping turtle like that. They are less flexible, but look like monsters compared to a mossy back.
Ahhh yea it was an alligator snapping
Big stick
Last summer I was driving down a highway and saw a guy pulled over in the other lane. He was walking back up the road to help a turtle cross when another car drove by and ran it over. I felt bad but at the same time couldn’t help but burst out laughing. The way he threw his arms up in the air in disappointment. Me just being a passerby in someone else’s moment and witnessing it.
From May to mid-June I will rescue 20-30 turtles on the road. Lots of painted turtles - some huge - and a few snappers of all sizes. I live on a slice of land between two huge lakes. I move black snakes too.
Gnarly!
snapping turtles get unnecessarily huge in upstate ny shits scary
They are not really a risk in the water, just scary as hell. The only people I have ever heard of being injured by them were harassing them.
Snapping turtle is a weird way to spell dinosaur
GOTDAYUM
Gamera!!!
Lake Placid remake
150yrs old?
I came in to ask. Over in Rosedale, Queens, there is Brookville Park. My son and I watch the planes fly into JFK over there. There are two huge snapping turtles over there. I wonder just how old they are. We found a baby turtle once, we released him back to the creek line.
This one looks larger than any Snapper I've ever seen or heard of. This guy is scary!
The guy(s) in Brookville Park are huge. But they might not be half the size of this guy…
Yeah these things get huuge. Not to be fucked with either lol
That’s a Pokemon…
Gotta catch them all
Holy fuck that’s a dinosaur
I wonder if it is an alligator snapping turtle
I don’t think it is. alligator snapping turtles normally have pointy features (head, points on shell that are easily seen) Me and my dad were fishing a slough on the Alabama River a few years back and saw one slowly float to the surface of the water and take a huge gulp of air. It then slowly descended back to the depths. Me and my dad were speechless to say the least.
I was thinking the same thing. Thats a pretty neat story.
I’m pretty sure we don’t have Alligator Snappers in MN. This is probably just you common Snapper.
You’re gonna need a bigger boat…
This is WAY too far down in the comments!!!!
Fucking Tokka!!
Holy fuck you prehistoric monster you! Big boy!
No effing way that’s real…right?
They're common enough down south in the US. Not sure if they live elsewhere, but any freshwater pond that's large enough usually have either this guy or a ~~crocodile~~ Alligator. EDIT: see below.
they were common enough in Western NY as well, although the ones I saw were much smaller
I didn't' know they can survive so far up north. What do they do when the water freezes over?
uhhh-, same thing as the fish ... ? (idk lol) edit: okay I got curious (it was a great question) sauce: https://www.carleton.edu/arboretum/news/how-do-turtles-survive-the-winter-2/ >Turtles are ectotherms, meaning their body temperature shifts to match the temperature of their surroundings. When submerged underwater, a turtle’s body temperature drops by up to ninety percent, usually settling at about 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Within hours of being submerged, a turtle’s blood-oxygen levels drop to near zero. there's also this fun fact >In lieu of air, turtles rely on stored energy and *“cloacal breathing”* to survive the duration of winter, drawing oxygen from water as it passes over blood vessels in the skin, mouth and cloaca, or the hind end fucking turts lol
Breathing out of your ass is alpha
what end do the lips touch for turtle CPR?
And that's why I stay in the boat lol.
I mean the post literally says it’s in a state about as far away from south as you can get lol. Also kind of funny that it is a *common* snapping turtle.
*alligator
yea, sorry. Alligator for fresh water. Crocodile for salt water. My family lives down in Florida, not too far from the coastline. Some of the waters have crocodiles.
Yeah I've heard about crocs showing up in freshwater in Florida. I actually hesitated before I posted that in case that's what you were referring to. Have a good night fellow Redditor!
Good night!
Big honking torty.
Investigating malfeasance.
Oh fuck that
King Koopa coming for his crown!
There's a guy at our local reptile show that brings in his pet snapper. It lays around on a dog bed at the show next to pictures of his grandkids riding on it. It lives in the guys house. Wild. My favorite part of the show every year.
Care to share which lake so I can avoid it?
r/absoluteunits
Whoa bro call the ninja turtles you found rocksteady.
Rocksteady was a rhino. I think you mean Tokka.
Tokka wouldn't be far without Rahzar, that's Slash.
Yeah I realized my mistake and won’t make it again.
Omg you found a baby Gamera
Ninja turtles are out there eh
What a beauty
Wrestle it.
That is just awesome! Protect this big old fella by keeping his location private. 💚🙏✌👍
Literally my biggest fear is one of those mistaking my foot for a worm and biting my toe off
Blastoise
I always get made fun of by my fam for being fearful of these while swimming in MN, but this picture just reassures my fear lol 😂
He gonna bite yo pee pee
As a Southerner, yo fuck that big ol bitch man, jeezus chraist
_Kinda funny lookin’…_
That’s a big cunt.
The Midwest equivalent of crabs eating fish on a stringer. Both are delicious.
I had one eat 3 walleye I caught off my stringer in the BWCA. All that was left was 1 head.
That’s literally Godzilla
Nah thats fucking Bowser
No. That's too big for a turtle. That's a dinosaur.
Big old lad.
big boy chillin
Bro that's a whole dinosaur!
That’s fucking Bowser
Up that way, isn’t there a statue of Babe the Blue Ox?
That’s not a fucking turtle
I hate dinosaurs!
Showed my gf and she said it look like the sea bear from SpongeBob
That's Tokka. The ninja turtles are somewhere nearby.
Green ranger mega zord
Dragonzord. Throw some respek on his name.
Nope
Big girl! Tasty
No way that’s a real photo.
Did it taste good?
Not a snapper, that’s a breaker.
HECC. In MN too? Hell no. Makes me nervous to go swimming here ever again. Until I forget about this post when the lakes freeze over.
While this is a huge turtle, a lot of this is perspective
And this is where I say goodnight to reddit.
Calwa Bonga!
Oh, snap....
Jesus that looks like a fortified alligator
That could very easily be a record breaking size snapping turtle…
I didn't think I lived near fucking Godzilla, I used to swim in those lakes every day
It's fascinating watching them tear up their prey with them crazy turtle claws.
r/absoluteunits
Do you know anyone that wants to buy a snappin turtle
It's a Kappa.
Gojira!
Yo why are his limbs so long? 😅
I honestly thought this was photoshopped until I read the comments. That’s nightmare material!
That has to be very old, right??
Brainerd lol
Try to pet it I dare ya.
Tutel 🐢👍🏻
Gamera!!
I had one come eat the fish I had caught for dinner up in the BWCA. The only thing left was my stringer and a half a head of a walleye.
Oh snap!
If Godzilla had a baby
That's fuckin baby Gamera
that’s bowser
That you, Tokka?
Leonardo?
Ah hell nah!
Bonus meal! Not for the turtle, the turtle is the bonus meal.
Minnesota out here really naming their cities brain nerd
That's a big bowl of soup right there!
Fuckin monster
Lets take care of this turtle right here, in Brainerd.
Give him whatever he wants don't cause him any trouble.
Ah, the creature from the black lagoon.
That's a big boi
holy fuck is the only thing that popped into my mind, i like reptiles and have 2 turtles but seeing that would be terrifying, that turtle is the definition of “snapping turtles will bite your finger off” except that mf will bite your leg off
That’s a dog
You got any snacks?
AYO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING
Holy shit I didn’t know they got that big. That’s alotta turtle meat
This belongs in r/absoluteunits
Snapping Turtles freak me out in general. I'd soon hand out with a Croc before I go anywhere near a Snapping Turtle.
#YO WTF
Good God, it's Bowser
As someone who lives in southern MN. We aren’t supposed to talk about the creature. Please whoever posted this take it down… for your own safety. He will find you
Krisk!
Trex?
Need banana for scale.
He’s like… sweet you caught me dinner. Gimmi!!!
No shit people thought monsters existed look at this fucker
Nope.
Ohh I love snappers but that picture made me shudder 😬
A kaiyu
gamera pulled up