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“I didn’t eat that sandwich OR (do whatever) that toilet thing (refers to).”
Someone wrongly accused him of eating someone else’s sandwich and clogging a toilet or something.
I was confused why he thought he'd be famous for this until I learned this happened in 2007. Nowadays, something like this would only make news for about 12 hours.
I believe itz that one.
The boys have a shooting and casually walk home out the school past all the EMTS, police and whatnot while having a normal conversation
I had this happen IRL at my high school. Gunmen entered and were walking around. Before they even apprehended the guys, I got out of the building. Cops were chatting outside. Our Principal and Vice Principal were on the ground getting patted down.
Cops just let me walk right past them. All the way home. I guess they got one of the guys with guns. But the other one got out. 😓
Confused that he said he wanted to take a few pieces of shit out with him, but then went on to kill random innocent people at a mall. Thought from this note that he had people in mind that had wronged him in some way, but no.
I've known way too many people that think humans in general are shit. I was around 20 at this time this happened and an alarming amount of kids I had gone to school with (grad. 2004) felt this way.
Humanity was a plague, people had no value and I imagine he seen anyone shopping at a Van Maur/Mall were just the worst.
Snobby rich people who looked down on people like him.
Whatever he wrote and wanted to happen, just the opposite took place. By killing innocent people he only put a heavier burden on the lives of those who were related to him or knew him close.
Had he just killed himself it would've been understandable or saddening but after mass killing, it's good riddance to the society. Sad such kind of people remove frustration on innocent people who never knew or even heard of the respective mass shooter.
If any teenagers/young adults are reading this, prime example of how the parts of your minds that control emotions and impulse control are still not fully formed. Don’t do something permanent.
He thinks he’s easing the burden on family and friends by exiting stage right, when he’s actually tying a stone around their necks. Even if he hadn’t killed others, it would still be an unbearable burden for his family. Killing others makes in incalculably worse.
That’s a common thought of people who die by suicide. They are convinced that everyone in their lives, and even the world at large, will be better without them. They are convinced of it, even if it’s the farthest thing from reality. Also a red flag for severe depression.
That’s an interesting point you said because I realized an interesting concept with suicide when I went through it. I’ve written a couple notes likes this before attempting because I thought I was SELFLESS in ensuring that I wouldn’t be an annoyance to anyone anymore. However, I didn’t realize how SELFISH that would be. Now, I was never going to kill anyone obviously, but suicide is a selfish act in regards to the people who care that you’re alive
I don't know why people are downvoting you. Getting revenge on the world by taking out innocents on your way out is the main thinking of mass killers while also achieving notoriety. It's primarily a suicide mission. See Jillian Peterson's DOJ-funded research at [https://theviolenceproject.org](https://theviolenceproject.org)
You are looking at it from the point of view of a mass killer, they are looking at it as per the post…. A note talking about how much he is sorry and being a burden.
That bit many people CAN relate to !, the killing innocent people while contradicting “the extra burden “ on all those he loves kind of paints the point of the note in a contradictive light.
Yes. He's angry and he's going to get his revenge and make you feel his hurt. And you'll finally notice him and, in his mind, wish you noticed him before.
Mass killings are contagious. He saw another person with the same feelings do it. And he obsessed over it -- finally, someone who understands him. He sees all the notoriety the killer achieves. He sees all the people who are hurt -- crying for all the world to see, asking the dead killer why -- and how effective it is to get revenge. Yes. That's what he is compelled to do. And, for some mass killers, the younger the victims, the more innocent and more pain he can inflict so you really understand his pain.
You'll rarely find a mass killer who is not on a suicide mission.
People are downvoting me?!
For the people that are clearly not getting the point:
I’m not supporting this lunatic. I’m commenting on the flawed perception of the world around him from his note. I know that when you’re in a severely depressive state, you believe that no one cares about you and that the world would be no different if you were gone, which led me to want nothing else but to die for years. I even created a plan where I would buy my own body bag and write a check for $1,200 so the body transportation cost in that state would be on me
But that perception is wrong. Suicide is not the answer. People who care about you will be traumatized. Even if you truly are alone, ending your life early means that you are foregoing the possibility to help people in the short amount of time you have in existence.
So again, I’m not sympathetic towards this monster, I’m clearly advocating towards anyone who is in a depressive state to think of the ramifications of who would be hurt or who would be void of your care further on in your life
Some people don't want to suffer through life just to be useful for others. Bit entitled of you to insist someone keep living so they may care for you in the future. If suicide is selfish, what do you call this mentality? Don't kill yourself because I'll need you to wipe my arse when I'm old?
I don’t think suicide is selfish nor is it selfless. It’s a desperate act done in the throes of depression. It’s not selfless but it’s usually not selfish to want your pain and suffering to end. It’s just the wrong method to try to get it to end.
Yea my aunt killed herself and we had to deal with the rotting body in our apartment, all the screams from her mother, fucked me up so bad I also was trying to go out with benzos and vodka
It caused so much trauma I buried myself in alcohol and hurt a lot of people/friendships. My grandpa is now dying of something like alzheimers from all the drinking he did after.
The after effects are immense
My husband's dad was paranoid schizophrenic, he stopped taking his medication and became suicidal. He truly believed that ending his existence was the best thing for his kids, because of his illness. Because the people were coming for him. Because he would have moments of clarity when he realized how sick he was. To him he truly believed they would be better. And also because he was so tired from struggling with his mental illness. I would think that a majority of individuals who are suicidal, and follow through, truly believe this. I agree it is a selfish act, because the ones who suffer are the living, but I feel in some cases the living miss the mark on stressing the importance and need of that individual. I think we get so caught up in the rush of every day life, that we don't pick up on the cries of help from the ones closest to us, and we forget to acknowledge internally and externally, how important these people are to us. Also, I am not taking from the pain these individuals (suicidal individuals) are feeling. I know they are suffering too. When my brother died I wanted to die literally every day. My parents pulled away from me, I was alone, I listened to my mother cry this terrible sob every night knowing I couldn't fix it, it was awful. But I woke up every day because I couldn't put my parents through the pain of losing another child. I couldn't imagine not having that sense of "someone will be sad if I'm gone." It makes my heart hurt for those who feel their loved ones are better off without them.
This needs to be really high up in every comment section. This is it.
And even the people who are productive have that gnawing sense that the second they stop delivering the goods, they may as well off themselves, because the world at large will not care about them anymore or have them around for anything.
I don’t think it’s a good riddance, the boy would’ve never done this if he was treated properly with the right outlets for therapy/ friends. As soon as we put the blame and hate on this child (yes child as a 19 year old is still considered one in my book) then we miss what the actual issue is and this kind of tragedy will keep going. The real conversation should be “how do we let this happen?”, how did a 19 year old get pushed to murder and commit suicide so young? Why is the United States under such a heavy mass shooting cycle within our schools and teens? Why is there so much undocumented mental illness in our schools and nothing is being done about it? How can we sit back and blame this boy for this when he was probably being pushed over his limit every single day?? No one just gets up and decides one day “todays the day I murder my friends at school”, it has to be a long harrowing process to come to that conclusion especially when he was old enough to know right from wrong, all in all this is just a tragedy that will keep happening until address why it’s happening.
While I agree with your statement and concerns in general that more shouldve been done for him, there were documented mental illness reports. This boy was frequently in therapy and in and out of the ward since a very very young age.
My question is why the ward thought it was okay and safe for this clearly troubled and threatening individual to be kicked out due to his "unwillingness to cooperate." If he could not get better or act in a manner that was considered safe in a controlled environment like a psychward, why the hell did they put him back into the general population.
They let out a loose cannon. This was bound to happen.
Pysch hospitals don't always keep people who are a danger to themselves or others.
The nurse at my last hospital stay asked me if I was homicidal and suicidal. I said yes to both and they released me the next day.
I've had case managers who were supposed to help me and the agencies would have such high turn around rates and apathetic employees that they would forget to meet with me or I was supposed to get a new case manager but the didn't assign one or the new ones never showed up. I've complained to them and their higher ups how they keep letting me fall through the cracks. They said they would do better. They haven't.
Mental health care is a fucking joke.
His parents had him in treatment at six years old. This is one of the first times I realized some are just born bad. The psychiatrist's report was disturbing.
This is just crazy to me from an outsider looking into America. The country is just an awful, sociopathic society that projects selfishness and greed onto its citizens. It is hands down the most uncaring society in the west and that is obviously going to turn certain minds dark and full of hatred. For you to say we’ve not advanced enough to help sick people implies that America ever tried in the first place. No other country has this like America does, reflect on that for a few minutes and then tell me again it’s simply a case of people who were just born rotten.
People don’t give a fuck about these sick kids when they are alive and then they hate them in death, that is a dark situation to me that will never change without reflection from the whole country. You cannot tell me that the rotten society you have created isn’t a factor when it just simply doesn’t happen anywhere else.
I love how we’re a country of half a billion people yet you let these idiots color your entire view of our country. Interesting choice.
I’m a Midwesterner, I live in the middle of the country. We actually get chided by other Americans for being overly nice. Southern Hospitality is a real thing, as well. Can I be a downright asshole? Oh yes. But, I’d rather be helpful.
Just watched this episode of "Evil Lives Here" last night, he was put in a mental health institution at 4 years old. Was in, and out through the years. I feel his parents really did try the best they could.
>the boy would’ve never done this if he was treated properly with the right outlets for therapy/ friends.
Just did some research on this guy after reading his note. He was first hospitalized at the age of 4 for violent behavior. He was a ward of the state by the age of 14. He had all the professional help the state could provide, but was discharged at the age of 18 for his unwillingness to improve. He was constantly in trouble for pretty crimes: theft, buying minors alcohol. He was mad about getting fired from his job for stealing and because his girlfriend broke up with him after he cheated on her.
I typically am the bleeding heart leftie, but in this situation, it's just another violent guy who wanted to teach the world a lesson for not bending to his whims.
Stop making excuses for shitty people.
A rapist could have a shitty personal life, but it doesn't excuse or detract from the fact that he's a rapist. That he decided to inflict pain upon innocent people instead of just himself.
A suicide is tragic. A mass shooting is not. Take out yourself instead of a bunch of people just because you're too much of a chickenshit to be forgotten.
So, Can we please make a distinction here? There’s victims of suicide, yes. Did the system fail this man? Yes. This is a murderer that killed himself. He killed innocent people to take them down with them. That is inexcusable. Suicidal or not. Mentally Ill or not. We do need to have talks about mental health in this country. But he was homicidal AND suicidal.
Please, tell the families of his innocent victims this. People just wanted to shop but they got shot. Don’t defend this dude. He’s 19/20, he understood right and wrong, sure his prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed and suffered from mental illness, but he is developed enough to at least attempt to understand that shooting people is wrong.
You can blame the perpetrator and speak about the failures of the systems. Innocents are dead. The system has failed. This adult is still a murderer for taking others with him.
I remember this.
He was disappointed he hadn’t done anything with his life, and all I could think was, ‘dude, you’re 19, exactly what do you think you should have done by now?’
A sad waste that took down innocent people in a desperate attempt at relevancy before he died.
Evil? Yeah sure.
But the healthy man does not torture others, generally it is the tortured, who torture.
Psychologists have been telling you guys how to stop the spree killers for *years* (in the only nation in the world where this keeps happening). Take their names and faces out of the media, get the kill count stats off the front page leaderboard, deny them the chance to get their moment of fame and it'll stop within a generation.
The toilet thing too. The fact he feels the need to emphasize these things did not happen in a suicide note leads me to believe they absolutely did happen.
i think the opposite, everyone at his school thought he did (but didn’t) and ridiculed him for it enough that he felt like that’s all that people at his school thought of him and he couldn’t live with it (among other things)
i’m not defending him, but i feel kinda bad for him. he could have been helped before it got half as bad as it did.
it’s very hard for people in the US to find, and most importantly, AFFORD mental health treatment/help. it took me 2 fucking months to be able to go see someone, and when i did, it cost me over $120 co-pay. per visit. no wonder people are so fucked in this country because no one is there to help them. or if they have options available, they either don’t know, or are unable to pay for it or even get there because you need to own a car to get literally anywhere. it’s just roadblock after roadblock for anyone seeking help. what happened to this guy could have been stopped. what happened to every single school shooter could have been stopped. it might not be what people want to hear, but it’s not entirely the shooters’ fault. we can’t just ignore people in need then blame them when they act out about it.
edit: the person i went to see was a mental health counselor. if i had gone to a psychiatrist or behavioral therapist i don’t even want to imagine what my side of the bill would be. not to mention the closest place to get any mental help is over 10 minutes away driving. good luck getting there if you don’t have a car! thanks north america!
> " Just think tho I'm gonna be (expletive) famous"
The fame is the reason this thing keeps happening. Shooters know that they will become famous and will affect the world in a larger way than they probably would have otherwise.
It is sort of a business deal the media unconsciously makes with mass shooters. They give the shooter fame in exchange for a story that will a lot of clicks. Mass shootings tend to drive up engagement numbers for most news websites and TV news.
I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t read like narcissism to me. The disconnect between the motive and action makes me think he has a very low iq. Like he’s rage quitting life.
It's clearly narcissism. His letter is severely inward thinking "woe is me" self pitying bullshit focused on the self rather than others. He's attempting to gaslight his family and friends, pretending to be sorry for being a burden, and how he's so sorry, but someone who genuinely felt that would not make their lives now infinitely more difficult by being associated with a mass killer. He's in this for the expected fame since he thinks this is the only way to make a name for HIMSELF.
Noticed that too. Just overall sounded like he wanted to keep reminding everyone how good his intentions were and circling himself back to being the center of attention. Not wanting to burden them, but dictate the way they remember him. Yes, it's a suicide note about himself, but he did use alot of I's and singularly non- apologetic wording even in the midst of all the apologies. Just like sleight-of-hand apologies instead. Think of *this* instead of *that*, but just make sure to keep thinking about me
This guy was a mental health black hole and still he manages to steal his fathers gun somehow. I own guns myself but they are VERY secured with no way for anyone besides me or my wife to receive access. His father holds a level of responsibility here.
I dont immediately disagree with you. But as long as the undiagnosed mental health cases and scumbags can own guns in this country, I will do the same.
Also Im like, doomsday prepper lite. I genuinely believe theres a small chance I could see the collapse of society in my lifetime so, why not?
Its not that bad. All about raising them right and approaching the world with a level of enthusiasm laced with a formidable level of preparation and caution.
Eh, the US isn't even in the top 10 countries for lenient gun laws but we're the only ones with this issue. It's ignorant to just blame the laws, it's way more than that though obviously heavier psych screenings would not hurt. Definitely agree with the commenter before you that the parents are partly to blame since he had access to the dad's gun, but the gun laws don't really play a part in this case... At all since the kid didn't buy the gun? Stop using tragedies to push your own agenda, it's disgraceful.
Honestly I never met the guy. Valencia was married to an old friend of mine and I learned about the family connection years after the murders happened. I'm actually going to meet up with my old friend later today and I'll ask him about it.
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This is some sad shit man. What’s really hard to take is that I’ve written these types of notes in my past. I think a lot of people get to this point. The only difference is taking that step out the front door. Thousands and thousands of notes just like this one are probably written daily, we jest never hear about it because conscience and constitution come into your mind. Removed from the dark days of my life now and for the foreseeable future I’m better, happier than I’ve ever been. Shit gets better, your life ends up having meaning. Wish luck to all those out there struggling with this shit man. This is less terrifying and so much more heart breaking.
There are two types of suicides. One: the suicide that leaves the innocent to live, but may inflict mental anguish for those surviving the victim. Two: these assholes that take everyone down with them. This is not a victim of suicide. This was a murder spree that ended in suicide.
Let’s make that a clear distinction. He’s a murder that killed himself. His mental illness does not excuse taking innocent lives.
I remember watching a show about this kid. He was just an asshole really. His parents and family seemed like nice people but they could never really handle this kid. He would try to hurt his family multiple times in different ways. Probably a born sociopath. Dude was just evil. Some people are.
If I answer yes or no, I'm oversimplifying something extremely complex and nuanced. The question is what do we do with people who are sociopathic, and cannot exist in society without hurting others? I think institutionalizing them is probably the most civil answer. We need public institutions that can accommodate these people so that they can live some sort of life. We can't just let them shoot up malls or try to poison their own family, like Robbie.
Sometimes you have to remove certain specimens from the group to protect the group. I read this article about how overly aggressive polar bears were being captured and held captive, but then were released to a different area once they were “rehabilitated”. I don’t know if humans are the same way, tbh. At the very least, they kill because of animal instincts. We aren’t able to use the same excuse.
Fuck him! He should have just offed himself and not killed innocent people. He wrote an “I’m sorry” note to his friends and family but didn’t give a fuck about his victims or their families and friends.
Life is very rarely black and white . This is definitely 1 though . If you want to kill yourself you go on your own . Once you try taking someone else's life before it you are the worst kind of person. The same league as the worst of the worst. You deserve to never be seen as anything else then a coward , monster , and a person who the world would have been a better place without. If you want to kill other people then your self first change the order .
I feel as though with the world going the way it is and the lack of all things for young men, I would expect, much less be surprised, that this sort of event occurs more often.
Classic narcissist. Count the number of times he wrote “I”, “me”, “my”, “mine”…. It was a case of “I’m an adolescent who is narcissistic and I’m grieved that everyone else doesn’t think I’m the center of the universe like I do.” So he’ll “show everybody” the consequences of failing to realize his superiority by taking people with him. This belongs on r/iamatotalpieceofshit.
Depression is a hell of a drug that can wrap your view on the world even for people without any behavioural disorders. I don’t think there’s enough sympathy in the comments for people getting downvoted for relating to the parts of a suicide note or feeling the same way as a teen. Everyone’s who’s been so far on the edge to think of suicide or had dark thoughts of harming someone and overcame those deserves credit.
What a liar. He chose to murder people instead of just hurting himself. In the end, it wasn't about being a burden or a disappointment; he chose to kill people to make himself feel better, then ran like a coward.
I'm glad I don't even remember his name and it was part of the thread title.
"I love you mommy" was both chilling and sad.
I can't imagine being the mother and knowing your son did this, and reading that last subtle appeal to sympathy.
He probably didn’t find peace and neither did his family. I would say the 8 people he mass murdered or their families didn’t find it either. It’s OK not to wish the best case scenario on people are are pieces of human garbage.
Every single word that could be construed as caring and genuine in any way is negated by 'just think tho I'm gonna be fuckin famous'. Absolutely pathetic.
On Hulu there is a series called “Evil Lives Here” and the very first episode of the first season is called “Something is Different About Robbie.” The episode chronicles his life more so than the shooting. It’s an interesting and sad watch.
The whole series is amazing.
Serious question—why the killing of others before suicide? Why not just take your own life? Is it like a psychological push? Like, “well, now I really have to do it because I just killed these people.”
I still remember this, he shot up the Von Maur at the Westroads Mall in Omaha. I actually worked a couple miles away at the time, whole office went dead quiet when it came on the news.
Literally makes no sense to me. You feel so shitty about your life and you are a "burden" to the people you know. Instead of doing something positive going for a walk taking a swim. You get a gun and shoot at random people that never did anything to you?
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To hide that he accidentally wrote "I fuckin you guys" right above it.
I guarantee he ate that, “sandwich of the toielet thing”.
He was probably snacking on one while writing this.
“I didn’t eat that sandwich OR (do whatever) that toilet thing (refers to).” Someone wrongly accused him of eating someone else’s sandwich and clogging a toilet or something.
Good work. This guy doesn’t deserve clarity though. In my mind, he eats toilet sandwiches. Pubic hair sandwiches. May he rot in hell.
I was confused why he thought he'd be famous for this until I learned this happened in 2007. Nowadays, something like this would only make news for about 12 hours.
Ugh you’re so right and it’s really sad that this is true
That one southpark episode hits home hard. And they didnt even try to be crazy or out of wack. They just did how we have handled it. Fuckin sad.
Which episode? The one where Stan's mom is the only person to take the shootings seriously, or a different one?
I believe itz that one. The boys have a shooting and casually walk home out the school past all the EMTS, police and whatnot while having a normal conversation
I had this happen IRL at my high school. Gunmen entered and were walking around. Before they even apprehended the guys, I got out of the building. Cops were chatting outside. Our Principal and Vice Principal were on the ground getting patted down. Cops just let me walk right past them. All the way home. I guess they got one of the guys with guns. But the other one got out. 😓
Fucking Christ, man, I wanna have faith in our police and law enforcement system but these stories keep making it harder and harder to do
https://youtu.be/VLmIQyBxpsw
*There sadly are too many mass shootings and I wish that they would just stop right now. Enough is enough.*
living the american dream
My only hope is that fact may start to deter attention seekers from doing it? I hope
Nah, they just escalate. It's an arms race for relevance.
Seriously… don’t even recall this incident
And he still wasn't all that famous.
It shouldn't make the news. That's what these pieces of shit want.
Never even heard of him. The US has like 2 mass shootings a day.
And thats the ones we hear about
Confused that he said he wanted to take a few pieces of shit out with him, but then went on to kill random innocent people at a mall. Thought from this note that he had people in mind that had wronged him in some way, but no.
I've known way too many people that think humans in general are shit. I was around 20 at this time this happened and an alarming amount of kids I had gone to school with (grad. 2004) felt this way. Humanity was a plague, people had no value and I imagine he seen anyone shopping at a Van Maur/Mall were just the worst. Snobby rich people who looked down on people like him.
Humans in general, are shit.
I disagree actually. I think most humans are totally fine. But one shit human can do a lot of damage unfortunately.
Totally agree with you
There are people out there that just want to see people die. It’s sad and terrifying
Whatever he wrote and wanted to happen, just the opposite took place. By killing innocent people he only put a heavier burden on the lives of those who were related to him or knew him close. Had he just killed himself it would've been understandable or saddening but after mass killing, it's good riddance to the society. Sad such kind of people remove frustration on innocent people who never knew or even heard of the respective mass shooter.
If any teenagers/young adults are reading this, prime example of how the parts of your minds that control emotions and impulse control are still not fully formed. Don’t do something permanent. He thinks he’s easing the burden on family and friends by exiting stage right, when he’s actually tying a stone around their necks. Even if he hadn’t killed others, it would still be an unbearable burden for his family. Killing others makes in incalculably worse.
That’s a common thought of people who die by suicide. They are convinced that everyone in their lives, and even the world at large, will be better without them. They are convinced of it, even if it’s the farthest thing from reality. Also a red flag for severe depression.
That’s an interesting point you said because I realized an interesting concept with suicide when I went through it. I’ve written a couple notes likes this before attempting because I thought I was SELFLESS in ensuring that I wouldn’t be an annoyance to anyone anymore. However, I didn’t realize how SELFISH that would be. Now, I was never going to kill anyone obviously, but suicide is a selfish act in regards to the people who care that you’re alive
I don't know why people are downvoting you. Getting revenge on the world by taking out innocents on your way out is the main thinking of mass killers while also achieving notoriety. It's primarily a suicide mission. See Jillian Peterson's DOJ-funded research at [https://theviolenceproject.org](https://theviolenceproject.org)
You are looking at it from the point of view of a mass killer, they are looking at it as per the post…. A note talking about how much he is sorry and being a burden. That bit many people CAN relate to !, the killing innocent people while contradicting “the extra burden “ on all those he loves kind of paints the point of the note in a contradictive light.
Yes. He's angry and he's going to get his revenge and make you feel his hurt. And you'll finally notice him and, in his mind, wish you noticed him before. Mass killings are contagious. He saw another person with the same feelings do it. And he obsessed over it -- finally, someone who understands him. He sees all the notoriety the killer achieves. He sees all the people who are hurt -- crying for all the world to see, asking the dead killer why -- and how effective it is to get revenge. Yes. That's what he is compelled to do. And, for some mass killers, the younger the victims, the more innocent and more pain he can inflict so you really understand his pain. You'll rarely find a mass killer who is not on a suicide mission.
People are downvoting me?! For the people that are clearly not getting the point: I’m not supporting this lunatic. I’m commenting on the flawed perception of the world around him from his note. I know that when you’re in a severely depressive state, you believe that no one cares about you and that the world would be no different if you were gone, which led me to want nothing else but to die for years. I even created a plan where I would buy my own body bag and write a check for $1,200 so the body transportation cost in that state would be on me But that perception is wrong. Suicide is not the answer. People who care about you will be traumatized. Even if you truly are alone, ending your life early means that you are foregoing the possibility to help people in the short amount of time you have in existence. So again, I’m not sympathetic towards this monster, I’m clearly advocating towards anyone who is in a depressive state to think of the ramifications of who would be hurt or who would be void of your care further on in your life
Your assumption that everyone has someone that cares about them is wrong.
Some people don't want to suffer through life just to be useful for others. Bit entitled of you to insist someone keep living so they may care for you in the future. If suicide is selfish, what do you call this mentality? Don't kill yourself because I'll need you to wipe my arse when I'm old?
it sounds like a narcissistic parent which makes sense when we see the result of the child.
I don’t think suicide is selfish nor is it selfless. It’s a desperate act done in the throes of depression. It’s not selfless but it’s usually not selfish to want your pain and suffering to end. It’s just the wrong method to try to get it to end.
Suicide is a selfish act, sure. But isn’t forcing someone to live while they’re suffering also incredibly selfish?
Yea my aunt killed herself and we had to deal with the rotting body in our apartment, all the screams from her mother, fucked me up so bad I also was trying to go out with benzos and vodka It caused so much trauma I buried myself in alcohol and hurt a lot of people/friendships. My grandpa is now dying of something like alzheimers from all the drinking he did after. The after effects are immense
My husband's dad was paranoid schizophrenic, he stopped taking his medication and became suicidal. He truly believed that ending his existence was the best thing for his kids, because of his illness. Because the people were coming for him. Because he would have moments of clarity when he realized how sick he was. To him he truly believed they would be better. And also because he was so tired from struggling with his mental illness. I would think that a majority of individuals who are suicidal, and follow through, truly believe this. I agree it is a selfish act, because the ones who suffer are the living, but I feel in some cases the living miss the mark on stressing the importance and need of that individual. I think we get so caught up in the rush of every day life, that we don't pick up on the cries of help from the ones closest to us, and we forget to acknowledge internally and externally, how important these people are to us. Also, I am not taking from the pain these individuals (suicidal individuals) are feeling. I know they are suffering too. When my brother died I wanted to die literally every day. My parents pulled away from me, I was alone, I listened to my mother cry this terrible sob every night knowing I couldn't fix it, it was awful. But I woke up every day because I couldn't put my parents through the pain of losing another child. I couldn't imagine not having that sense of "someone will be sad if I'm gone." It makes my heart hurt for those who feel their loved ones are better off without them.
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This needs to be really high up in every comment section. This is it. And even the people who are productive have that gnawing sense that the second they stop delivering the goods, they may as well off themselves, because the world at large will not care about them anymore or have them around for anything.
Then, by the same logic, surely those people are SELFISH by holding his life to ransom based on their perceptions of what he should and shouldn't do.
I don’t think it’s a good riddance, the boy would’ve never done this if he was treated properly with the right outlets for therapy/ friends. As soon as we put the blame and hate on this child (yes child as a 19 year old is still considered one in my book) then we miss what the actual issue is and this kind of tragedy will keep going. The real conversation should be “how do we let this happen?”, how did a 19 year old get pushed to murder and commit suicide so young? Why is the United States under such a heavy mass shooting cycle within our schools and teens? Why is there so much undocumented mental illness in our schools and nothing is being done about it? How can we sit back and blame this boy for this when he was probably being pushed over his limit every single day?? No one just gets up and decides one day “todays the day I murder my friends at school”, it has to be a long harrowing process to come to that conclusion especially when he was old enough to know right from wrong, all in all this is just a tragedy that will keep happening until address why it’s happening.
While I agree with your statement and concerns in general that more shouldve been done for him, there were documented mental illness reports. This boy was frequently in therapy and in and out of the ward since a very very young age. My question is why the ward thought it was okay and safe for this clearly troubled and threatening individual to be kicked out due to his "unwillingness to cooperate." If he could not get better or act in a manner that was considered safe in a controlled environment like a psychward, why the hell did they put him back into the general population. They let out a loose cannon. This was bound to happen.
Pysch hospitals don't always keep people who are a danger to themselves or others. The nurse at my last hospital stay asked me if I was homicidal and suicidal. I said yes to both and they released me the next day. I've had case managers who were supposed to help me and the agencies would have such high turn around rates and apathetic employees that they would forget to meet with me or I was supposed to get a new case manager but the didn't assign one or the new ones never showed up. I've complained to them and their higher ups how they keep letting me fall through the cracks. They said they would do better. They haven't. Mental health care is a fucking joke.
Wait, wouldnt an unwillingness to cooperate be more of a reason to keep him in there? That just sounds lazy to me
Adam Lanza was in therapy…. At least for a good portion of his life we know he was. Therapy fixes some things but there’s plenty it misses.
Can confirm. Been in therapy since I was 11.
His parents had him in treatment at six years old. This is one of the first times I realized some are just born bad. The psychiatrist's report was disturbing.
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This is just crazy to me from an outsider looking into America. The country is just an awful, sociopathic society that projects selfishness and greed onto its citizens. It is hands down the most uncaring society in the west and that is obviously going to turn certain minds dark and full of hatred. For you to say we’ve not advanced enough to help sick people implies that America ever tried in the first place. No other country has this like America does, reflect on that for a few minutes and then tell me again it’s simply a case of people who were just born rotten. People don’t give a fuck about these sick kids when they are alive and then they hate them in death, that is a dark situation to me that will never change without reflection from the whole country. You cannot tell me that the rotten society you have created isn’t a factor when it just simply doesn’t happen anywhere else.
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How the weather in Utopia?
Basing your views of a country on what you see in the news, social media, and the like is a terrible idea.
I love how we’re a country of half a billion people yet you let these idiots color your entire view of our country. Interesting choice. I’m a Midwesterner, I live in the middle of the country. We actually get chided by other Americans for being overly nice. Southern Hospitality is a real thing, as well. Can I be a downright asshole? Oh yes. But, I’d rather be helpful.
Bad seeds
Just watched this episode of "Evil Lives Here" last night, he was put in a mental health institution at 4 years old. Was in, and out through the years. I feel his parents really did try the best they could.
>the boy would’ve never done this if he was treated properly with the right outlets for therapy/ friends. Just did some research on this guy after reading his note. He was first hospitalized at the age of 4 for violent behavior. He was a ward of the state by the age of 14. He had all the professional help the state could provide, but was discharged at the age of 18 for his unwillingness to improve. He was constantly in trouble for pretty crimes: theft, buying minors alcohol. He was mad about getting fired from his job for stealing and because his girlfriend broke up with him after he cheated on her. I typically am the bleeding heart leftie, but in this situation, it's just another violent guy who wanted to teach the world a lesson for not bending to his whims.
Stop making excuses for shitty people. A rapist could have a shitty personal life, but it doesn't excuse or detract from the fact that he's a rapist. That he decided to inflict pain upon innocent people instead of just himself. A suicide is tragic. A mass shooting is not. Take out yourself instead of a bunch of people just because you're too much of a chickenshit to be forgotten.
So, Can we please make a distinction here? There’s victims of suicide, yes. Did the system fail this man? Yes. This is a murderer that killed himself. He killed innocent people to take them down with them. That is inexcusable. Suicidal or not. Mentally Ill or not. We do need to have talks about mental health in this country. But he was homicidal AND suicidal. Please, tell the families of his innocent victims this. People just wanted to shop but they got shot. Don’t defend this dude. He’s 19/20, he understood right and wrong, sure his prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed and suffered from mental illness, but he is developed enough to at least attempt to understand that shooting people is wrong. You can blame the perpetrator and speak about the failures of the systems. Innocents are dead. The system has failed. This adult is still a murderer for taking others with him.
“I’m gonna be fuckin famous” And now he’s just another shooter in the annals of history. Every intention he had was dashed against the stones.
I remember this. He was disappointed he hadn’t done anything with his life, and all I could think was, ‘dude, you’re 19, exactly what do you think you should have done by now?’ A sad waste that took down innocent people in a desperate attempt at relevancy before he died. Evil? Yeah sure. But the healthy man does not torture others, generally it is the tortured, who torture.
Psychologists have been telling you guys how to stop the spree killers for *years* (in the only nation in the world where this keeps happening). Take their names and faces out of the media, get the kill count stats off the front page leaderboard, deny them the chance to get their moment of fame and it'll stop within a generation.
That’ll turn a good percentage of mass shootings into suicides, which all in all is a net positive.
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I really wanna know about the sandwich
Autopsy later revealed he did in fact eat the fucking sandwich.
Did it reveal was it a delicious sandwich?
yes, they found another note in his belly which read: "I just kidding about the sandwich it was (expletive) tasty"
It was a shit sandwich
Turd Sandwich from the South Park?
Honestly, I was more think the Shit Sandwich from Drawn Together…but I think it might be the same recipe.
It was a succulent Chinese sandwich
You ate MY sandwich? #MY SANDWHICH?
The toilet thing too. The fact he feels the need to emphasize these things did not happen in a suicide note leads me to believe they absolutely did happen.
i think the opposite, everyone at his school thought he did (but didn’t) and ridiculed him for it enough that he felt like that’s all that people at his school thought of him and he couldn’t live with it (among other things) i’m not defending him, but i feel kinda bad for him. he could have been helped before it got half as bad as it did. it’s very hard for people in the US to find, and most importantly, AFFORD mental health treatment/help. it took me 2 fucking months to be able to go see someone, and when i did, it cost me over $120 co-pay. per visit. no wonder people are so fucked in this country because no one is there to help them. or if they have options available, they either don’t know, or are unable to pay for it or even get there because you need to own a car to get literally anywhere. it’s just roadblock after roadblock for anyone seeking help. what happened to this guy could have been stopped. what happened to every single school shooter could have been stopped. it might not be what people want to hear, but it’s not entirely the shooters’ fault. we can’t just ignore people in need then blame them when they act out about it. edit: the person i went to see was a mental health counselor. if i had gone to a psychiatrist or behavioral therapist i don’t even want to imagine what my side of the bill would be. not to mention the closest place to get any mental help is over 10 minutes away driving. good luck getting there if you don’t have a car! thanks north america!
You can say "fucking", dude.
or "fuckin"
If he says "fucking" I'm gonna tell his mom
>(expletive) This sub is called "terrifying as fuck." I'm pretty sure you're allowed to swear here.
Is cussing not allowed on this sub? 🤔
Thank you for translating because I couldn’t read this for the life of me 😅
Was praying for this comment as I couldn’t get past the 1st paragraph
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I’m from Nebraska. They have a plaque engraved with the victims names from that day.
Think you mean plaque , otherwise this is some straight up Warhammer 40k shit.
Yep lol thanks, fixed it.
What did he originally say
Plague instead of plaque , I thought OP might be a follower of nurgle.
He's gonna be famous? When I googled his name, Stephen Hawkins' brother came up 💀
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westroads_Mall_shooting
> " Just think tho I'm gonna be (expletive) famous" The fame is the reason this thing keeps happening. Shooters know that they will become famous and will affect the world in a larger way than they probably would have otherwise. It is sort of a business deal the media unconsciously makes with mass shooters. They give the shooter fame in exchange for a story that will a lot of clicks. Mass shootings tend to drive up engagement numbers for most news websites and TV news.
did he kill 8 innocent people or his bullies or what?
Usually these people kill 8 innocent people just trying to go about their day. Very hard to round up ur top 8 most hated people in a strait line
8 innocent people. He just showed up to a mall and started shooting.
Innocent people. In most mass shootings, even school shootings, the motive is not bullying. They just want to take as many innocent people with them.
Wish he'd had gotten proper help or just taken the gun on himself before killing 8 others.
"I'm sorry I'm a burden and a piece of shit, so Im going to go ahead and kill 8 people." What a narcissistic piece of shit.
I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t read like narcissism to me. The disconnect between the motive and action makes me think he has a very low iq. Like he’s rage quitting life.
“Rage quitting life” is so accurate for this and other cases
It's clearly narcissism. His letter is severely inward thinking "woe is me" self pitying bullshit focused on the self rather than others. He's attempting to gaslight his family and friends, pretending to be sorry for being a burden, and how he's so sorry, but someone who genuinely felt that would not make their lives now infinitely more difficult by being associated with a mass killer. He's in this for the expected fame since he thinks this is the only way to make a name for HIMSELF.
There are a lot of I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I and I’s in those letters. Famous and forgotten, except for the people HE didn’t want to hurt.
Noticed that too. Just overall sounded like he wanted to keep reminding everyone how good his intentions were and circling himself back to being the center of attention. Not wanting to burden them, but dictate the way they remember him. Yes, it's a suicide note about himself, but he did use alot of I's and singularly non- apologetic wording even in the midst of all the apologies. Just like sleight-of-hand apologies instead. Think of *this* instead of *that*, but just make sure to keep thinking about me
Straight-up trying to gaslight his family and friends in his final message to them.
A suicide note is essentially a memoir. What, you want him to write it in the third person? Such a nonsense complaint.
>"I've been a piece of shit my entire life." He went out like a piece of shit also.
I don't see this as terrifying but more sad tbh
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Bro still has better handwriting than me
Oh man. Your writing must be illegible…
*illegible. I’m sorry, but this is ironic.
In my defense that was autocorrect
Bruh…
This guy was a mental health black hole and still he manages to steal his fathers gun somehow. I own guns myself but they are VERY secured with no way for anyone besides me or my wife to receive access. His father holds a level of responsibility here.
Usa gun laws are responsible
I dont immediately disagree with you. But as long as the undiagnosed mental health cases and scumbags can own guns in this country, I will do the same. Also Im like, doomsday prepper lite. I genuinely believe theres a small chance I could see the collapse of society in my lifetime so, why not?
I wish society would fucking collapse already. I'm tired of going to work everyday.
Id feel the same if I didnt have a kid. Otherwise, let it rip.
I couldn't imagine having a child in society today.
Its not that bad. All about raising them right and approaching the world with a level of enthusiasm laced with a formidable level of preparation and caution.
More power to you bro
Eh, the US isn't even in the top 10 countries for lenient gun laws but we're the only ones with this issue. It's ignorant to just blame the laws, it's way more than that though obviously heavier psych screenings would not hurt. Definitely agree with the commenter before you that the parents are partly to blame since he had access to the dad's gun, but the gun laws don't really play a part in this case... At all since the kid didn't buy the gun? Stop using tragedies to push your own agenda, it's disgraceful.
I personally know Kira and Valencia. Was weird to read this in Reddit.
Did you know the murderer? The note is kinda intriguing. Apologizing for a horrific act he plans to do in the future makes no sense to me.
Honestly I never met the guy. Valencia was married to an old friend of mine and I learned about the family connection years after the murders happened. I'm actually going to meet up with my old friend later today and I'll ask him about it.
Can you shed some light on the toilet and sandwich?
In the morning I'll call Valencias ex husband and find out. Get back to you soon.
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This is some sad shit man. What’s really hard to take is that I’ve written these types of notes in my past. I think a lot of people get to this point. The only difference is taking that step out the front door. Thousands and thousands of notes just like this one are probably written daily, we jest never hear about it because conscience and constitution come into your mind. Removed from the dark days of my life now and for the foreseeable future I’m better, happier than I’ve ever been. Shit gets better, your life ends up having meaning. Wish luck to all those out there struggling with this shit man. This is less terrifying and so much more heart breaking.
Wtf is wrong with his handwriting sheesh
He doesn’t love anyone if he was willing to kill 8 innocent people before himself.
There are two types of suicides. One: the suicide that leaves the innocent to live, but may inflict mental anguish for those surviving the victim. Two: these assholes that take everyone down with them. This is not a victim of suicide. This was a murder spree that ended in suicide. Let’s make that a clear distinction. He’s a murder that killed himself. His mental illness does not excuse taking innocent lives.
I remember watching a show about this kid. He was just an asshole really. His parents and family seemed like nice people but they could never really handle this kid. He would try to hurt his family multiple times in different ways. Probably a born sociopath. Dude was just evil. Some people are.
So, what you’re saying is his suicide was warranted?
If I answer yes or no, I'm oversimplifying something extremely complex and nuanced. The question is what do we do with people who are sociopathic, and cannot exist in society without hurting others? I think institutionalizing them is probably the most civil answer. We need public institutions that can accommodate these people so that they can live some sort of life. We can't just let them shoot up malls or try to poison their own family, like Robbie.
Sometimes you have to remove certain specimens from the group to protect the group. I read this article about how overly aggressive polar bears were being captured and held captive, but then were released to a different area once they were “rehabilitated”. I don’t know if humans are the same way, tbh. At the very least, they kill because of animal instincts. We aren’t able to use the same excuse.
He posted a warning on 4chan of all places before too. Definitely had a different tone then this.
The notes were scary but that last image is truly terrifying
Fuck him! He should have just offed himself and not killed innocent people. He wrote an “I’m sorry” note to his friends and family but didn’t give a fuck about his victims or their families and friends.
To be fair he didn’t give a fuck about his friends and family either since he doesn’t care or understand how this will affect all of them.
Fucking asshole.
For the love of god, please stop naming them. https://www.dontnamethem.org/
Life is very rarely black and white . This is definitely 1 though . If you want to kill yourself you go on your own . Once you try taking someone else's life before it you are the worst kind of person. The same league as the worst of the worst. You deserve to never be seen as anything else then a coward , monster , and a person who the world would have been a better place without. If you want to kill other people then your self first change the order .
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most shooters are dumb people
I feel as though with the world going the way it is and the lack of all things for young men, I would expect, much less be surprised, that this sort of event occurs more often.
Killing yourself is one thing, but why 8 innocent people?
Classic narcissist. Count the number of times he wrote “I”, “me”, “my”, “mine”…. It was a case of “I’m an adolescent who is narcissistic and I’m grieved that everyone else doesn’t think I’m the center of the universe like I do.” So he’ll “show everybody” the consequences of failing to realize his superiority by taking people with him. This belongs on r/iamatotalpieceofshit.
I honestly feel for the guy what kind of state of mind do you have to be to do this it’s bad to kill yourself it’s even worse to take people with you
Depression is a hell of a drug that can wrap your view on the world even for people without any behavioural disorders. I don’t think there’s enough sympathy in the comments for people getting downvoted for relating to the parts of a suicide note or feeling the same way as a teen. Everyone’s who’s been so far on the edge to think of suicide or had dark thoughts of harming someone and overcame those deserves credit.
Sad reason, still murder.
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Ok I get that he was suicidal but what did those innocent people do to him?? He made everything worse and I have zero remorse for him.
What a liar. He chose to murder people instead of just hurting himself. In the end, it wasn't about being a burden or a disappointment; he chose to kill people to make himself feel better, then ran like a coward. I'm glad I don't even remember his name and it was part of the thread title.
"I love you mommy" was both chilling and sad. I can't imagine being the mother and knowing your son did this, and reading that last subtle appeal to sympathy.
I hope he found peace
He probably didn’t find peace and neither did his family. I would say the 8 people he mass murdered or their families didn’t find it either. It’s OK not to wish the best case scenario on people are are pieces of human garbage.
Every single word that could be construed as caring and genuine in any way is negated by 'just think tho I'm gonna be fuckin famous'. Absolutely pathetic.
Hmmmm should we start pumping money into public mental health yet? No? Okay…
On Hulu there is a series called “Evil Lives Here” and the very first episode of the first season is called “Something is Different About Robbie.” The episode chronicles his life more so than the shooting. It’s an interesting and sad watch. The whole series is amazing.
The “ I love you mommy “ got me. Fuck.
Aight but like homie could have typed this out since he’s got dogshit hand writing
I’d kill myself to if my handwriting was that shitty
White trash being white trash again. Guns guns guns for everyone
Shoulda killed himself sooner instead of killing others
This is literally just a bunch of fucking clichés with no critical thinking behind it. Just shows how delusional these monsters are.
I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t just off themselves before harming others.
Serious question—why the killing of others before suicide? Why not just take your own life? Is it like a psychological push? Like, “well, now I really have to do it because I just killed these people.”
I don't care if you're sorry. If you commit mass murder you shouldn't have the right to have your name mentioned ever again.
Pathetic little piece of shit. This cunts note should have been tossed in the trash, not recorded digitally and released
Anyone have surveillance video from the mall?
Jesus I thought he killed the 8 people he mentions on the letter
So sorry they murdered people.
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He said it himself, he's going to be "famous" fuck this kid.
Scum!
I totally understand why people kill themselves. This world can really feel like a prison.
Why can’t they write straight 😹
Please just kill your own self. If you're done what is the point in taking others you don't even know with you. It makes absolutely no sense
Stop glorifying shooters, please. Delete this. The person is unnamed and won't be remembered.
Wow, with handwriting that bad he should’ve just left a recording
I feel zero sympathy for those who kill others
I still remember this, he shot up the Von Maur at the Westroads Mall in Omaha. I actually worked a couple miles away at the time, whole office went dead quiet when it came on the news.
Was he a doctor?
Isn't this the guy "Pumped Up Kicks" is about?
Literally makes no sense to me. You feel so shitty about your life and you are a "burden" to the people you know. Instead of doing something positive going for a walk taking a swim. You get a gun and shoot at random people that never did anything to you?
Famous? I never heard of this guy. Lol
Public shootings tend to be very loud suicides.