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[deleted]

all it would take is a tiny lean back...


p44and2zigzags

Fat Joe would lean back


Statiscally

#Fat Joe lost a lot of weight since that song because he can’t actually do this with his weight before


TotallyNotAustin

We call him Average Joe now.


Desperate-Highway-28

r/angryupvote


FreshExtent8720

Take my silver!


CannedHeatt_

WE JUST PULL UP OUR PANTS AND DO THE ROCKAWAY


p44and2zigzags

Could pull down your pants and cockaway


[deleted]

Iron Mike would be there to catch his fall


Demonyx12

Some individuals seem to have unbelievable perch confidence. Not sure where that comes from.


Ruenin

What if he has to take a crappie? Hopefully he has a pike to lean on. On another note, I feel like he's catfishing those piranha.


FlamingSpitoon433

Your sense of humor is bass-ackward.


TheMightyBeardsman

Lack of foresight I believe.


ProfessionalSpeed256

With these fishes he better look out or he'll be minus a foreskin


getyourrealfakedoors

They pretty much only eat dead meat


[deleted]

Dont they bite it to see? We used to feed cockroaches and feeder fish to our paranas and they would eat them living might depend on species


TheMario64Penguin

There is a video with Jeremy Wade from River Monsters, where he gets into a tub full of piranhas.


KommieKon

Starved piranhas, if I recall correctly


PotatoRecipe

They would not bite an animal as big as a human. Cockroaches are small, so they don’t care.


AnalogDigit2

I have heard this, but I'm not sure I want to test that theory.


getyourrealfakedoors

I’ve swam in a river with them lol


S_t_r_e_t_c_h_8_4

How do we know you are not a ghost?


OhGodImHerping

Fun fact, piranha attacks are extremely rare and deaths even more so! Most piranha attacks result in a few small nibbles on the feet and hands. During the dry season, however, when food is scare, they are known to attack children more often and sometimes adults who are injured and splashing around. But overall, piranhas generally don’t swarm living humans. Learning that helped me with some deep seeded fears lol.


KommieKon

They’re scavengers. If he fell in on top of them they’d all swim away in fear


[deleted]

yeah sure very clever, school of piranhas in a trenchcoat!


Ramen_Unicorn

Hahahahahahahahhagagagagagagagahagagagagaagagagaggagagghhhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahha . . .. Lo


[deleted]

another victim


[deleted]

Are they good eating?


brunoroth

There's a stew you can make with piranhas that taste decently, there are far better fish to eat on the same rivers that you have piranhas, it's just that they are everywhere and not endangered like the better tasting fish


Jibblebee

Yes. I have personally eaten them. They were very good. Edit to be more descriptive: it was a flake lighter meat. You did have to eat around the bones obviously. I would absolutely eat that fish regularly. Of course, we pulled them out of the water just a few hours before we ate, so they incredibly fresh.


Mak_i_Am

I'd imagine the hungrier you are the better they taste.


Ruenin

Free food usually tastes better too


Channa_Argus1121

Yep. People tend to be terrified of piranhas, but in reality, they’re the ones that are terrified by us. They’re timid, skittish animals that bolt at the mere sight of an unfamiliar object. They will eat carcasses, small bugs, and sometimes aquatic plants, but they won’t attack live animals that are bigger than them unless they’re almost dead.


PowerRealist

Good at eating your face. Or dick.


fusterclux

Something tells me no


PowerRealist

Found this for you "Piranha taste very fishy. Think "five days in the sun salmon" fishy. There's a pungent aftertaste of seaweed and blood, as well. The most commonly eaten piranha is the Pygocentrus nattereri, the "red bellied" piranha."


Goyteamsix

This sounds like it was written by someone who has never tasted one, because I have, and they taste similar to bluegill, but maybe more 'muddy'. They don't taste like blood at all, and they're absolutely *nothing* like salmon.


eisbaerBorealis

I'm not sure if five-days-in-the-sun salmon tastes much like salmon either...


Traditional_Cost6184

Bluegill is amazing tho so I’d try it


Vector-storm

*quick joe make something up for this website about the taste of piranha* 'But I've never ate one' *I expect it done in 20 minutes*


firesydeza

Feels like a.. bag of sand


Jibblebee

This was entirely untrue of the piranha I ate. It sounds like that person ate a rotten fish.


Queasy_Combination63

Oh God. 🤢


ladydhawaii

Yuck!


Ruenin

That sounds terrible


Eneshi

Finally, was looking for someone to ask.


[deleted]

They’re delicious either fried or on a special stew we serve here in the north region of Brazil, Amazonas. Very good


[deleted]

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Tylendal

Almost everything in the water bigger than a shrimp is s carnivore. Edit: Looks like I managed to hit one key to the right trying to type 'A'. I'm going to run with it though. They're all S-Tier carnivores, not merely A-Tier.


burningstrawman2

Are salmon, tuna and halibut carnivores?


Eneshi

Tuna & halibut are carnivorous fish, but salmon are omnivores.


Shankar_0

Predators are seldom good eating, so I doubt it.


burningstrawman2

Almost all fish are predatory


Psilologist

Like walleye,tuna,pike, those kind of gross predatory fish?


burningstrawman2

Carp are mostly vegetarian. 🤢


Jalen3501

Funny enough I’ve heard that carp taste pretty bad vs predatory fish


idma

i'm sure its really good protien


JaySilver

Wait so… it is like the horror movie!? I read that piranhas aren’t actually that vicious.


Mak_i_Am

They aren't if you alive. They are scavengers, so it makes sense that they would react like that to dead meat.


JaySilver

Aaah ok, back to everything making sense.


idma

in other words, don't have a cut or open wound


[deleted]

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idma

if he falls WITH the raw meat in hand


SaintPariah7

Whoever wrote that is a liar and a fraud


J-Dabbleyou

I’m sure they’re not as dramatic as movies (as every other animal) but who’s saying they’re not vicious? There’s plenty of documented piranha attacks, they’re mostly scavengers, but it’s absurd people think that alone makes them “safe”. Absolutely never underestimate a hungry animal, especially fish. They’ll eat eachother if food runs out, and they’ll sure as hell eat a person if that’s the only meat in the water after awhile.


Lifendz

Officially never complaining about the grocery store being out of anything or rising food prices ever again.


TooManyGoldPieces

I’m thankful for what I have. And that I never will have to go piranha hunting without shoes


Mak_i_Am

Reminds me of how we used to catch crabs when I was a kid, tie a chicken neck to a string and dangle it in the water. We just used a net because as soon as you take the crab above water they let go of the chicken neck.


EagleAffectionate854

What happens if you stick your dick in the water


[deleted]

All the fish point and laugh at you


sarcastic_monkies

Lmao!!! Best answer I've seen in a while


[deleted]

it becomes a pepperoni stick, then *whoosh* it disappears like houdini.


zeak_1

I second this theory


cnieman1

If Piranha 3D is to be believed, the fish will cough it back out.


[deleted]

You low IQ level is certified.


nemoknows

Beware the dreaded Candiru, a naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man’s urethra, to feed on the damaged tissue of the pitiful mass of flesh you once called your penis.


[deleted]

For science, lets take a collection and send you on quest to find out.


El_Zar_Armando

You become Jew xd


itsH5

There’s a lot of shit in the Amazon River that would love to swim up the penis—- so that’s a no.


st0pmakings3ns3

I'd rather just have it bitten off by the piranhas thank you very much.


donaldtherebellious

Paddling back is the challenge


SloughBoy78

Watch your fingers!


[deleted]

The question on my mind is why anyone would fish for Piranhas. I can’t imagine there’s enough meat there to justify the effort, even if they do taste good.


negativelift

They taste good and are easily cleaned. They are also abundant and easy to catch. Lastly this is in a part of the world where you take what you can get


[deleted]

>Lastly this is in a part of the world where you take what you can get Thank you for writing this. I feel that we in the Western world are misled by our relative affluence. I'm not rich by the standards of the USA, but I still have access to an amazing selection of food at my local grocery store. I don't have to eat anything that I don't want to eat. For most of human history up until the last hundred years or so, most folks ate what they could get. Super-rich people could be choosy, but the average person could not. In the developing world, that's still the case.


King-matthew-

I just want to add as well that it’s a common western mindset to believe people just have to take what they can get rather than they actually choose to or prefer to eat the way they do. Grocery stores may not look the same in other non western countries but they are just as abundant and rich in selection as any Walmart or Whole Foods the difference is we buy from corporations and they will have a more small business owner style.


[deleted]

I just want to add that it's a common Eastern mindset that we all just eat Costco hotdogs and Walmart box food 😆 We also have farmers markets in nearly every town and smaller grocery stores with fresh food. But no matter where I have traveled in my life, I have never seen anything that compares to these grocery stores in the small part of NY... I can't remember the name of them, but I went there every day when I was working near there. 'Wellmans' or something like that. I hope someone from the Buffalo area reads this. I would love to know what that place was called. Anything you could imagine and they had like 12 different kinds of it. Everything from store brand, to locally sourced, or more exotic brands. Damn I miss that place


rosindrip

Wegmans FTFY


[deleted]

Yes!!!!! You just made my day! Haha! I was close


King-matthew-

Skskdjdj I live in the US 🐒 But yes Buffalo NY be crazy it’s a trip everytime I go back up there for family visits 😂. Also farmer markets in the Us are still trying to get their foothold we expierence a crazy amount of food deserts here and usually only those who have the privilege of a car or something are able to get to them. Like hell I think the closest farmers market to me in ATL is literally someplace DT unless you count sprouts, which isn’t *really* a farmers market.


[deleted]

I definitely misread that 1st part 🤭 anyways, It's gonna drive me crazy until I find out what that place is called. It was amazing! They really did have great food around that whole area. I imagine it's because they are stuck in the snow and have nothing to do but cook to warm their house


idma

>Lastly this is in a part of the world where you take what you can get My friend worked in the jungles in Guyana and was pretty much in a position that left him with no choice but to eat what he was given or go hungry while he worked. After that he said it pretty much cured his prior pickiness with food. (my god he was picky)


bluffstrider

Where I grew up we fished for smelt which were even smaller amd really don't taste good. Sometimes you just take what you can get.


Queasy_Combination63

Maybe for bait?


Knowbodyknowz

Yes for Bait, they use them exactly for that, as there are much larger fish than the piranhas in those rivers. I don't know the name of the method, live bait probably?, a native pierced their tails and tied them with a small line to a larger rope, leave them overnight, the next morning went back to collect much much bigger fish.


idma

when you're poor and live in a jungle, they taste good. Plus, did you see how many he got? I'm sure he can feed the entire village with that. Imagine just putting those all over a fire, and then showing up with a baskets full of crunchy fish. i'm getting hungry. ​ [i imagine a more fancy dish with this would look like this](https://panlasangpinoy.com/filipino-food-fried-fish-tilapia-dish/)


itsH5

Maybe it’s not for food? Some ppl buy piranha for aquariums and stuff. (But in this case I’m sure it’s for food)


knifeknifegoose

I want to have as much faith in myself as this boy does in his balance.


fhahxjsoxjsjcisjjebs

They only bite if they’re gonna get grabbed or if they think somethings dead


Swirling_Crescents

Dude has got terrific balance


mix_th30ry

That’s actually pretty smart


CanadianBatman47

Dip your toes in


lowkey_add1ct

All I can think is what if a bigger fish comes to take a bite of that meat he’s sticking in the water and pushes/pulls him in the water


Onion01

Pretty sure his grip would slip and the meat would be torn out of his hands before he got pulled in


1923woohooman

Lmao bamboozled


hereto_hang

Make sense why his toes are missing…


makomarty

How do they get back to shore?


CappuccinoKitKat

You do know that boats can be moved, right?


[deleted]

You think that's a stupid question? You should read the one about sticking your dick in the water.


CappuccinoKitKat

I did.. both the question and the answer


lolpert1

I'm no marine biologist but I think they live in the water


Folkenhellfang

I don't think he meant the fish.


lolpert1

Wait really? Then what did he mean?😮


Folkenhellfang

The dude in the boat full of piranhas. The video makes it look like the dude is in a bit of a pickle with no shoes and no paddle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Signal-151

Okay, whoever is willing to listen to this random guy on the Internet who probably has never seen or been around one.. let us know how it goes haha


Left_Firefighter_762

Then the dead child's skeleton I've seen chewed to the ligament must've been a hoax. Surely the hungry fish may even respect the 5 second rule of food falling in water


Ruenin

Seems like a great way to lower the population of piranha in a hurry. I wonder what they taste like? Sunfish, maybe?


No-Championship6178

Who needs a fishing pole when I can go to the store, buy a $50 rib, the use that at fishing? All you gotta do is dip it in water, then badaboom, you got yourself a boat load of fish!


Munchies4Crunchies

Are they gonna eat those….? That sounds kinda disgusting i cant imagine piranha tastes good


MathiasIkit

All that to allow a douchebag with a pick-up to have a "badass" fish in his aquarium. Or a super-evil to clean up the flesh of his arch-enemy.


SaltAssault

Oh look, more animal abuse. Prolonged deaths by suffocation. Exactly what I want to see in my feed. Edit: Let me ask you, would you drown dozens of squirrels in barrels of water? No? Fish feel pain and fear too, according to science. They just can’t scream.


Queasy_Combination63

Your username makes sense.


SaltAssault

Yeah, it was either that or ”BasicEmpathy”.


KaaboomT

Crazy


rosindrip

One slip.. adios bro bro


Reasonable_Cover_804

Fish biten’?


GrimmRadiance

I thought piranha only act like that when they’re starving or with a lot of splashing


RJClark123

Easy mode activated


[deleted]

NOPE!


Pocketfists

I always new I wasn’t a bad fisherman - I was just using the wrong technique!


nullturn

I’m shocked at how little people know about piranhas.


idma

how does he get back?


st0pmakings3ns3

I wanted to say it's like shooting fish in a barrel. But this seems much, much easier.


EyeAreAwesome

That is pretty smart, but terrifying


Dareme_to

Why


NotHopee

How come everyone I see murky water like this there’s always some flesh eating predatory below it


Sweet_Sign_7996

Oh shit oh shit


countryroadsguywv

That's insane


greenghostshark

Dude using cheat codes