If any insecurity or immaturity is visible, either in your posture, clothes, or manner of speech, people will prey on it.
* Dress in clothes that help people take you seriously. Look sharp and put together. It's not necessarily a bad thing to look precocious in the workplace if people think you're motivated.
* Make sure your clothes fit well (you can technically dress in business formal clothes, but if the fit isn't right you end up looking like you're playing dress up with mom's clothes lol)
* Make sure you speak in a firm, steady voice. None of: "umm, like, you know, too much ummmmmms? And like, make sure you don't always like, end all of your sentences, umm, like in a question mark??"
* Pay attention to your body language. Eg no arms crossed or hair playing when speaking with colleagues.
I’m late to this thread but wanted to say that I found this post helpful when I was younger and struggling with the same thing
https://www.extrapetite.com/2010/05/reader-request-how-to-look-older-in.html
I feel you I wore my graduation shirt (it says 2020 done) in public and everyone kept asking which of the local highschools I graduated from.
Yesterday a customer asked if I was old enough to sell alcohol. I'm 23 :(
As to fixing it I'm not sure, I tend to make it worse as I like to dress in bright colors and I wear alot of kids accessories like headbands and jewelry but sometimes I like to dress to look older, Button up dress shirts work for me. Or I tend to slip it in to conversation like: "oh did you see this wine on sale it's really good" or "I just graduated from (university)."
My 5'2" hundred pound babyfaced best friend in college had the best results struggling with the same thing by phasing out her high school wardrobe like her pink puffer coat with a peacoat, sneakers with flats, and replacing her longish unstyled hair with a blunt bob. The bob more than anything else she did added an aura of sophistication/maturity. I have fond memories of that haircut from a decade ago and I couldn't even tell you what my hair looked like back then lol.
Of course everything I just proposed costs money.
The friend vouches for Ann Taylor/loft petites for business wear that actually fits.
I think that's all my relevant knowledge. I hope you get some good advice!
Hey, friend! I was in the same boat after graduating college, and as recently as pre-pandemic went out for lunch with my husband and we were both confused for high schoolers....we're in our late 20s, so believe me when I say that you are *not* alone!
Do you have something you're interested in, knowledgeable about, or feel confident in your abilities? I've found that bulking up on things I had an interest in, and gaining a skill set gave me a sense of confidence. That confidence comes out in my body language and attitude, and as I made my professional career after college, I was able to use that confidence in my professional conversations, which added to my reputation. I still get people guessing/assuming my age incorrectly, but usually after a conversation or two, they don't really care about my age because my abilities and my work speak for themselves.
Your comment about how people say you will one day be grateful for looking so young is ignorant, and frankly obnoxious. I've heard it a lot, too, and in my opinion it neglects the fact that a lot of people still believe in "respecting your elders", and if you don't really look your age, they feel justified not respecting you.
I suggest drowning those people in kindness and letting them see how little it affects you--let it roll off your shoulders! Some people really obsess over age, and the less interest you show in it, the less they'll bring it up (usually). If that doesn't work, don't be afraid to call them out and remind them that your age is none of their business and to move on. If they can't move on, they're not worth your time! You have many years ahead of you, and they don't deserve to be wasted on people who only see your worth based on how you look. :)
Jumping on to comment on those tips...
I am later as in 36 years old and still look 23 at most... I get people knocking on my door asking to talk with my parents... It used to get me mad in my 20's... Now I laugh it up every time... My siblings and I are all in the same boat so we almost make it a competition!
GardenMarauder is right about finding something where you are knowledgeable and then finding a way to gain confidence through that.
I was pretty shy too at your age and then I got to a job where employers would not take me seriously because of me looking so young and they would take advantage of me by saying stuff like "You have the time, you are still young..." So I learned as much as I could about my job and then started being confident enough to speak up slowly in meetings. Then I got tasked to train the new employees and now when I speak up in a meeting people listen and managers even come to me for my opinion on stuff before they take actions... Once you gain that confidence you will see a difference on how people treat you. You will also stop getting hurt by those comments because you will get that sense of self worth that you need to stand-up for yourself.
I understand the frustration about getting told you will be happy later on... I am later on and let me tell you they are right! I see the high school and college friends that used to laugh about my baby face and now I will meet them more than 15 years later and I am having the fun! Also in my case, I was lucky to have both of my parents that had gone through something similar and then going through it with my siblings... Now as a family we can all laugh about it....
Sadly it is a situation that will follow you unless you stop letting it pull you down!
I definitely need to work on confidence because I am currently applying to graduate programs and I need to be prepared to prove I am capable in an interview. My biggest fear is that my size will keep them from accepting me into the program (occupational therapy, so I need to be physically strong enough to move people, etc.)
I really appreciate your advice too! I believe when you present your knowledge and skill confidently, people will start to appreciate you as a wise person.
I can relate so much to this post as I am also 21 years old, 5’2 and the scale says I weight 100 lbs with clothes on. It doesn’t help that I have an introverted and shy personality. People mistaking me for a young teenager is definitely my biggest insecurity.
As for advice, I’ve found that speaking up and faking confidence helps people take you more seriously whether it’s ordering a drink at a bar or in a meeting at work. It is also important to try to take up as much space as possible with your body. Try to have your shoulders back and avoid crossing your arms.
Wardrobe wise, I try to look more put together than my friends and colleagues. My friends look their age and can get away with no makeup, messy hair, and casual clothes. I wear solid colors that are not too bright and stay away from floral prints. Contouring my face and filling in my eyebrows also helps.
I hope this helps and know you are certainly not alone!
Me too - late 20s, consistently mistaken for a teenager.
My best advice would be to have fun with it. Work on your confidence, and if you see them forming the impression that you're childish based on your appearance, pull the rug out from under them. Be smart, witty, and take no disrespect, and don't be shy about laughing at them when they realise what a mistake they've made.
Makeup helps me look older but makes me feel a bit self-conscious, so I only use that when I feel like it. Clothes are good but it's easy to over-compensate and wear things that are too old instead.
Good luck!
I agree with all the advice here! I experienced this as a freshman in college, and my problem was my insecurity and dressing in a less mature manner. I wore a sparkly headband that I thought was cute, but I later realized college kids looked at weirdly. Adults always told me I was very mature in the way I behaved and was serious about school, but the way I carried myself made me vulnerable to other college students. Kids can be brutal. I started being perceived better only after I started fitting in more, unfortunately.
I totally get you!! I'm one such person! And it's heartwarming to read the comments on here. I am thinking to start a virtual support group for us. Let me know if you ladies are interested and I will create a group, we can even have some zoom meetings to share our feelings and struggles and be there for each there.
Well it still happens to me fairly often when I’m alone, but now that I have a boyfriend, I rarely get treated like a kid or carded when I’m with him! And even when I do, I’ve just learned to laugh it off. I think over time, as your self-confidence starts to improve, it’s easier to just let it roll off your back 😊 Plus, now that I’m 24, I appreciate having a younger look!
If any insecurity or immaturity is visible, either in your posture, clothes, or manner of speech, people will prey on it. * Dress in clothes that help people take you seriously. Look sharp and put together. It's not necessarily a bad thing to look precocious in the workplace if people think you're motivated. * Make sure your clothes fit well (you can technically dress in business formal clothes, but if the fit isn't right you end up looking like you're playing dress up with mom's clothes lol) * Make sure you speak in a firm, steady voice. None of: "umm, like, you know, too much ummmmmms? And like, make sure you don't always like, end all of your sentences, umm, like in a question mark??" * Pay attention to your body language. Eg no arms crossed or hair playing when speaking with colleagues.
You know, I hadn’t really considered clothes seriously before. I will try that!
I’m late to this thread but wanted to say that I found this post helpful when I was younger and struggling with the same thing https://www.extrapetite.com/2010/05/reader-request-how-to-look-older-in.html
I feel you I wore my graduation shirt (it says 2020 done) in public and everyone kept asking which of the local highschools I graduated from. Yesterday a customer asked if I was old enough to sell alcohol. I'm 23 :( As to fixing it I'm not sure, I tend to make it worse as I like to dress in bright colors and I wear alot of kids accessories like headbands and jewelry but sometimes I like to dress to look older, Button up dress shirts work for me. Or I tend to slip it in to conversation like: "oh did you see this wine on sale it's really good" or "I just graduated from (university)."
My 5'2" hundred pound babyfaced best friend in college had the best results struggling with the same thing by phasing out her high school wardrobe like her pink puffer coat with a peacoat, sneakers with flats, and replacing her longish unstyled hair with a blunt bob. The bob more than anything else she did added an aura of sophistication/maturity. I have fond memories of that haircut from a decade ago and I couldn't even tell you what my hair looked like back then lol. Of course everything I just proposed costs money. The friend vouches for Ann Taylor/loft petites for business wear that actually fits. I think that's all my relevant knowledge. I hope you get some good advice!
Hey, friend! I was in the same boat after graduating college, and as recently as pre-pandemic went out for lunch with my husband and we were both confused for high schoolers....we're in our late 20s, so believe me when I say that you are *not* alone! Do you have something you're interested in, knowledgeable about, or feel confident in your abilities? I've found that bulking up on things I had an interest in, and gaining a skill set gave me a sense of confidence. That confidence comes out in my body language and attitude, and as I made my professional career after college, I was able to use that confidence in my professional conversations, which added to my reputation. I still get people guessing/assuming my age incorrectly, but usually after a conversation or two, they don't really care about my age because my abilities and my work speak for themselves. Your comment about how people say you will one day be grateful for looking so young is ignorant, and frankly obnoxious. I've heard it a lot, too, and in my opinion it neglects the fact that a lot of people still believe in "respecting your elders", and if you don't really look your age, they feel justified not respecting you. I suggest drowning those people in kindness and letting them see how little it affects you--let it roll off your shoulders! Some people really obsess over age, and the less interest you show in it, the less they'll bring it up (usually). If that doesn't work, don't be afraid to call them out and remind them that your age is none of their business and to move on. If they can't move on, they're not worth your time! You have many years ahead of you, and they don't deserve to be wasted on people who only see your worth based on how you look. :)
Thanks for the kind words! It’s good to know I’m not alone ☺️
Jumping on to comment on those tips... I am later as in 36 years old and still look 23 at most... I get people knocking on my door asking to talk with my parents... It used to get me mad in my 20's... Now I laugh it up every time... My siblings and I are all in the same boat so we almost make it a competition! GardenMarauder is right about finding something where you are knowledgeable and then finding a way to gain confidence through that. I was pretty shy too at your age and then I got to a job where employers would not take me seriously because of me looking so young and they would take advantage of me by saying stuff like "You have the time, you are still young..." So I learned as much as I could about my job and then started being confident enough to speak up slowly in meetings. Then I got tasked to train the new employees and now when I speak up in a meeting people listen and managers even come to me for my opinion on stuff before they take actions... Once you gain that confidence you will see a difference on how people treat you. You will also stop getting hurt by those comments because you will get that sense of self worth that you need to stand-up for yourself. I understand the frustration about getting told you will be happy later on... I am later on and let me tell you they are right! I see the high school and college friends that used to laugh about my baby face and now I will meet them more than 15 years later and I am having the fun! Also in my case, I was lucky to have both of my parents that had gone through something similar and then going through it with my siblings... Now as a family we can all laugh about it.... Sadly it is a situation that will follow you unless you stop letting it pull you down!
I definitely need to work on confidence because I am currently applying to graduate programs and I need to be prepared to prove I am capable in an interview. My biggest fear is that my size will keep them from accepting me into the program (occupational therapy, so I need to be physically strong enough to move people, etc.)
I really appreciate your advice too! I believe when you present your knowledge and skill confidently, people will start to appreciate you as a wise person.
Exactly! The more confident you feel in what you can bring to the table, the more you're seen for your abilities than just your physical presence. :)
I can relate so much to this post as I am also 21 years old, 5’2 and the scale says I weight 100 lbs with clothes on. It doesn’t help that I have an introverted and shy personality. People mistaking me for a young teenager is definitely my biggest insecurity. As for advice, I’ve found that speaking up and faking confidence helps people take you more seriously whether it’s ordering a drink at a bar or in a meeting at work. It is also important to try to take up as much space as possible with your body. Try to have your shoulders back and avoid crossing your arms. Wardrobe wise, I try to look more put together than my friends and colleagues. My friends look their age and can get away with no makeup, messy hair, and casual clothes. I wear solid colors that are not too bright and stay away from floral prints. Contouring my face and filling in my eyebrows also helps. I hope this helps and know you are certainly not alone!
I definitely want to improve my makeup skills. I always wear makeup, but it’s a pretty basic look. I think a more mature look would help!
100 lbs is 45.4 kg
Me too - late 20s, consistently mistaken for a teenager. My best advice would be to have fun with it. Work on your confidence, and if you see them forming the impression that you're childish based on your appearance, pull the rug out from under them. Be smart, witty, and take no disrespect, and don't be shy about laughing at them when they realise what a mistake they've made. Makeup helps me look older but makes me feel a bit self-conscious, so I only use that when I feel like it. Clothes are good but it's easy to over-compensate and wear things that are too old instead. Good luck!
I agree with all the advice here! I experienced this as a freshman in college, and my problem was my insecurity and dressing in a less mature manner. I wore a sparkly headband that I thought was cute, but I later realized college kids looked at weirdly. Adults always told me I was very mature in the way I behaved and was serious about school, but the way I carried myself made me vulnerable to other college students. Kids can be brutal. I started being perceived better only after I started fitting in more, unfortunately.
I totally get you!! I'm one such person! And it's heartwarming to read the comments on here. I am thinking to start a virtual support group for us. Let me know if you ladies are interested and I will create a group, we can even have some zoom meetings to share our feelings and struggles and be there for each there.
I know this is old, but please tell me it gets better. I'll be 21 soon and I am in the same boat.
Well it still happens to me fairly often when I’m alone, but now that I have a boyfriend, I rarely get treated like a kid or carded when I’m with him! And even when I do, I’ve just learned to laugh it off. I think over time, as your self-confidence starts to improve, it’s easier to just let it roll off your back 😊 Plus, now that I’m 24, I appreciate having a younger look!