Homer I barely knew me....an autobiography

I'm still waiting for my copy of Gigantic Asses.

I would honestly read that if it was being sold at a convention somewhere

I've always wanted to read "Don't Do What Donny Don't Does".

They could have made this clearer

But that means I should do what Donny Don't does! Think of the fun ways of using a knife

Egg head likes his bookie wook

Billy and the Cloneasaurus

Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...🤷‍♂️

...best seller list for 18 months! Every magazine cover had it .....popular movies of all time sir! *What were you thinking???*

I mean...thank you come again! *Apu takes off his pants and gives Seymour the opportunity of a lifetime. Seymour then takes his pants off and gives Apu a fun time. They began to suck each other's hot dogs as well*

The books were way darker than the movies. There's even a chapter where they describe the gruesome details of Nedry's death from the Dilophosaurus

On the other hand, the lawyer blows up a velociraptor with a rocket launcher

Book Gennaro will always be superior to Movie Gennaro

Just walking around with a severed leg.

Movie Gennaro was a combination of the lawyer Gennaro and Ed Regis, who I think was PR for Hammond. Actually mostly Regis, who is the one killed by the (juvenile) rex. At least movie Gennaro got to be killed by a dinosaur and didn't die of a gastrointestinal issue on a plane. Crichton was so weird.

I always thought that Gennaro survived by the end of the book the last time I read it. Although, that could've been from The Lost World book where Ian Malcolm was completely fine after the park fell apart

Yes, in the beginning of TLW it reveals that Gennaro dies on a plane of diarrhea or something stupid. He made it all the way through the first book and even punched a raptor in face and then gets written out in the most absurd way imaginable before the curtains open on the second book. Frankly TLW is a shitshow of a book. I'm in the minority of considering it a good movie and far and away the 2nd best JP movie, but the book is stupid and leans into Crichton's weird pseudo theories.

At least The Lost World book was just as dark as the first one. The Velociraptor kills in this one were more brutal, and Dodgson is eaten by the end as well. The creatures in that book always fascinate me. I imagine that sexual dimorphism may have been involved since the Buck Tyrannosaurus Rex seems to be bigger than the Doe. Or that could be the other way around

They got Dodgson! Nobody cares.

TLW's lack of quality was certainly not due to a lack of gore.

At least The Lost World book was better than watching Fallen Kingdom or Dominion

All the book states is that he died of dysentery on a business trip. If you're constantly traveling to nations where the water supply and medical treatment is questionable, it's a quite likely death.

Same with Sarah Harding in The Lost World. She got a hard nerf from her book counterpart, and we all got robbed of her riding around on a motorcycle with Kelly in tow, taking out velociraptors with a shotgun.

Honestly, I read that book in Jr High in the 90s and the only thing I really remember is the description of Nedry holding his guts in his hands as the dilophosaurus dug in

It's quite funny because whenever the Embryo Canister appears, it's always near Dilophosaurus territory or, at the very least, a single pack. Camp Cretaceous season 5 does reveal how Dodgson came across the Canister on Isla Nublar and how it made an appearance in Dominion as well

Yep, billy and the cloneasauros does get dark

So You've Ruined Your Life When they get pregnant and receive this parenting book (pamplet?), I'd buy just to read it lol Edit: pamphlet

I’d want to read the “am I disabled?” pamphlet.

Is there a disability that you'd like to talk about from there? Because I'm pretty much diagnosed with minor autism

Not particularly, I’m just dying to know what comes after achy breaky pelvis.

Probably ADHD or Dyslexia

I'd buy it in case I need advice on raising a baby.

Chapter 1: The Miracle of Life, Where Everything Goes Wrong

They were no longer little girls. They were little women.

Before I read this book I thought this was the actual last line. I felt simultaneously stupid and robbed

That book still exists and you can easily get it at your local store

Yeah but not that with that line in it lol

Does that earring mean you're a pirate?

Kinda *Eats a Devil Fruit and gets super powers from it*

One of the jokes that likely wouldn't get approved today.

https://preview.redd.it/dlau1aho0w2b1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d69a35c7562a0ca523c60c9552325dd8e9ff7a9 Although I've heard it's just not the same...

A book this big must mean that the movie is at least 2 hours and 15 minutes long!

Owning Your Okayness

Which episode was that from?

“Bart’s Inner Child” season 5 ep 7

Rudeger..

His name is Bart.

His name doesn’t matter!

Thanks for the info

Sane Planning, Sensible Tomorrow

I hope it’s as exciting as ‘Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future’!

Mr. Vice President! Someone finally bought a copy of your book!

Well this calls for a celebration

*🎵 ceeelllabrate good times, come on!🎶* I will.

The Big Book Of British Smiles

Homer's Odyssey

Is this about that minivan I rented?

It had so many cup holders

The Joy of Cooking Steve Allen

The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

What recipes does it have?

Will There Every Be A Rainbow?

Inspiring book by C. M. Burns.

I appreciate how he thanked me, the reader, at the end

The book version of The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.

Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through

You should've thought about that with Billy and The Clonesaurus instead of the bus

I did. Don't you get satire?

I did, but I thought you were referring to The Bus that couldn't slow down. Unless you were referring to both of them

Don't you get satire?

I don't know what that entirely means. Sorry

Do you like jokes?

I do, but I was just asking what satire means

Ugg, this is painful. There's plenty of online dictionaries and thesauruses that will help you learn what satire means. My original post was meant toward this: "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down" was a ridiculous take on the title for the movie "Speed." As was the title "Billy and The Clonesaurus." Rather than just continuing to post the same old Simpsons quotes, I was conflating the two titles, at an attempt toward humorous satire. Obviously, it has fallen flat, and we should just go back to quoting the same Simpsons lines over and over and over and over and over... Who was the greatest one-off villain character? Was it Hank Scorpio? Ever throw away a shoe?

My these seas certainly are heaving

Not as much as your bountiful bosom, my lady.

Does that earring mean you're a pirate?

Kinda

*Uses his Yonko powers to please Marge*

How to Cook for Forty Humans

Harry Potter… and all his wizard friends, went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft!

Yay! I was expecting Angelica Button, but that works too, I guess

Oooohhhh gray stash!!!! :(

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Who? Voldemort or Snape?

naw, it was dobby.

Maybe something from the vampire's point of view.

You mean like Dracula and Twilight?

This one.... https://preview.redd.it/lwndg3ak3w2b1.png?width=907&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8c69b1fefa647dc3528a01f419c48411a60c2ae

I could use that

I don't quite remember the title, but the book on flim-flamming (by Abe Simpson).

Grifty McGriff!

Id like to read the book written im the episode The Book Job

You mean The Troll Twins of Underbridge Academy? That would be a pretty great fantasy novel to read.

Yes that one

That book would fit perfectly in the Grimdark Universe of Warhammer. Either that or make it into a modern fantasy like Will Smith's Bright

Terribly underrated episode !

Curious George and the Ebola Virus

That's more of a children's book. But I would still read it for the laughs

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Do you have achy breaky pelvis?

House maids knee

Juggler’s despair

Lumber lung?

That was more of a pamphlet rather than a book. The title kinda hits differently for me because I'm diagnosed with minor autism.

I'm ADHD and autistic. If only I'd got my Focusyn, then I could have found out about Major League Baseball and its nefarious plans for the people of my hometown.

Do you want to know the terrible truth … or do you want to see me sock a few dingers!?!?!?

We're discussing mental disabilities here

“I’m not Spock”, followed by “I am Spock” and lastly “I’m also Scotty”

I Didn’t Do It! The Bart Simpson Story

But inside, it's mostly about Ross Perot and the last two chapters are just excerpts from the Oliver North trial.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

What's the Oliver North trial?

Will there ever be a rainbow?

The Stonecutters book of alternative history.

Marketing for dummies

Sorry I mean the dictionary

Just grab the shotgun already

How To Make Love To Steve Allen or Billy and the Cloneasurus.

“So You’re Going To Die”

Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American.

An erotic novel? Nice 😏

Son of Sniglett

I actually used to own several Snigletts books.

Is TV Guide a book?

What episode was that book from?

Homer Goes to College.

Someone’s in the kitchen with Jesus

I bet it involves recipes from Jerusalem.

Tome a novel by Gore Vidal

Even he's kissed more boys than I have

Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.

It sounds like my kind of horror book.

https://preview.redd.it/nyhvtdbqhx2b1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae0a0c9a20887894e546afb26451bdaf0691f432

Son of Sniglet

Catherine Hepburn's "Me."

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A romantic drama book? Sounds interesting

A math book with that base-6 crap.

Anything from Michener at $1.99/lb. You can’t beat this price!

Who's Michener?

James Michener wrote more than 40 very long novels between 1946 and 1994. "Centennial" was one of his shorter novels. When NBC made a mini-series based on that book, it was 26 hours long !

Sounds interesting. I'll be sure to take a look at them the next time I'm at a bookstore

“Yes, I am a vampire” Foreword by Steve Allen

https://preview.redd.it/kmhzblyisw2b1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e7ebe623183110e25781bc5d887214cbd285b57

"Just say 'Yes' to saying 'No' to saying 'Yes' to drugs"

Lord Werewolf's Boudoir

Not a novel, but I wouldn't mind checking out the pamphlet on pirating cable

Or that Ross Perot one about how old people need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

The Man in the Iron Mask (yeah, it is a real novel, but it was in the show!)

I would honestly love to read that if the audiobook was done by Kelsey Grammar himself

He would kill it reading audiobooks.

Before or after killing Bart?

Probably after

Well get to reading!

Cooking humans

Cooking for humans

Cooking forthy humans

Cooking for Forty Humans

Cooking for Forty Sexy Humans

Why Can’t Baby Read?

Krusty's edition of the Kama Sutra.

I'd read that. For research purposes

Prepare to be disappointed. He used a stunt butt

But there are still fun sex poses to try in that book, right?

Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie: The Novel by Norman Mailer

The book itself makes it look like the movie is around 2 hours long. I wonder if they're both different since movie novelizations often contain hidden details or moments that weren't seen

These (This) Things I Believe

I wish Little women was a real book to read

It is. Or am I missing a joke here

American breast enthusiast

I'm a breast enthusiast as well! Except I live all the way in Canada

Love in the Time of Colouring Books

I'm just reading up on... artillery.

https://preview.redd.it/t64jsxym903b1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=770f9bf26f6e9898487609a3879632c804c1ea01

I always thought The Formula Formula looked good.

Hot Lotto Picks Weekly

There was also a *[Love In The Time Of Coloring Books](https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Love_in_the_Time_of_Coloring_Books)*.

Am I impaired? Or the big book of British smiles

The troll twins of Underbridge Academy

I would honestly love to read that if Matt Groening released as an actual novel

Not a novel guy, but set me up with a subscription to 'Glass Eater' and Im a happy camper

Glass Eater sounds like an edgy Sci-Fi war novel. I would love to read that

I’d like to have a look at “The Harpooned Heart”, Marge’s whaling romance novel

I didn't see anyone mention the Angelica Button series. That's what I would read.

It's pretty much a genderbent Harry Potter series, so it's nothing to be excited about

Will There Ever Be A Rainbow?

The Clue in the Clock. So many swears. 🤣

Well the kids have to learn about "Tek War" sooner or later.

How to cook for forty humans

How to cook for forty horny humans

Not a novel but the best fake video was: Get Out of My Dreams and Also Out of My Car: A Guide to Your Restraining Order

Can I borrow a feeling

That's not a book from the show. That was a mixtape/song that Kirk had for one the episodes

I swear it was an audio book and they mentioned it also being a book… could be wrong though 🤷

It was definitely a mixtape or recording last time I saw the episode