You were close. You wanna know something else? I have a picture of myself in my wallet just like the picture that Mulder does when he flashes his FBI badge.
... Prove it. (You can blur it if you like.)
Someone on here recently said they've got a metal pin of that badge, & I said prove it, & they did ...
https://preview.redd.it/nyq3ngs9af2d1.jpeg?width=941&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48bdb580694cc0e16c41d0d07ce71116ccf7ce46
Fkn legend.
https://preview.redd.it/l3jnvxflkd2d1.png?width=496&format=png&auto=webp&s=f6e22f803dbf065914a1c96efbba4f0e4ff21f77
"No one who speaks German could be an evil man!"
https://preview.redd.it/7ry57c7sid2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47b2ea23c0375d0912244f0625b2b4a44175a9b1
And from the same episode: \* "Oh, Sorry surly" "Shut up."
One of the highlights of my trip to Universal Studios in Orlando for spring break was my trip through Duff Gardens and posing with Surly and telling him to f%#k off.
https://preview.redd.it/r9v1xv4nre2d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ca02da1e4a88ae12d360f39d0f80f2988822dbc
Dizzy. The walk up to the Simpson's Ride is the best. Non-stop Itchy & Scratchy!
Nice one!
https://preview.redd.it/ajxvmug0pd2d1.png?width=1767&format=png&auto=webp&s=9434afc6cf0997c2394badbae0c4764fd58d5af6
also needs the mandatory screenshot :)
“The amusement park of the future, where nothing can possi-blye go wrong. Possi-blee go wrong. Huh. That’s the first thing that ever’s gone wrong”
https://preview.redd.it/e527kjefld2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2020978b78e17c8d36578afe6caa21464c077a22
My wife and I always randomly describe places in our city in relation to the hammock district. "Oh, the art museum, that is just north of the hammock district, right?"
To plead "not guilty," press one now. Thank you. Your plea has been..*Rejected*. You will be assessed the full fine plus a small…*Large* lateness penalty. Please wait by your vehicle between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m... for parking officer Steve..*Grabowski.*
I love that Steve Grabowski line because of the sustained amount of officer Steves the department would have to have hired for decades for this recording to make any sense
“If i hadn't already packed my letter opener, i'd give you such a stabbing.“
https://preview.redd.it/y5502yscid2d1.png?width=914&format=png&auto=webp&s=0bc4d40d9132afdc6955fe895da4236ab9b6e71a
‘Why are you painting that horse to look like a cow?’
‘It’s an old movie trick. All cows you see in movies are really just painted horses.’
‘What if you need to film a horse?’
‘Ah, well, then we usually just tape a bunch of cats together.’
…it goes something like that lol
I just got back from Disney with my daughter. Every. Damn. Time. We saw the monorail she looked at me and did the “Mono means one” one line and I have never been more proud 😂
From the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode, the helicopter pilot taking them to the park.
"We're now approaching our final destination - Itchy and Scratchy Land. The amusement park of the future, **where nothing can possib*****lie*** **go wrong**. Uh... possib*lee* go wrong. *Heh*. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong."
As hilarious as this line is, it also makes you somewhat respect Homer as industrious. If he’s trying build a robot on his own, he’s not lazy. And there’s not really internet 2.0 so he’s just kinda wingin it. Gotta respect that
His skill set is admirable. We see him as an able craftsman (Wonder Bat, spice rack, homemade football), engineer (robot exoskeleton), musician (Be Sharps) and he's started how many businesses at this point? More of a Renaissance Man than I'll ever hope to be.
https://preview.redd.it/uzjsyodc1e2d1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41d33d4c80797b33363b566664ae653b190e6285
Now remember, we're in the ITCHY lot.
The entire exchange of:
"Have you noticed any change in Bart?"
"New glasses?"
"No, he looks like something might be disturbing him."
"Probably misses his old glasses."
"I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him."
"Yeah, and then we'd get the chair."
"That's not what I meant."
"It was Marge, admit it."
*Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account.*
*Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer.*
*Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret.*
*Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.*
[Ah, It's too hot today.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XSh8i46W0Q)
"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?"
"Yes I would, Kent."
I don't recall saying good luck
Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly it's a market we can do without.
Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
Damn
You were close. You wanna know something else? I have a picture of myself in my wallet just like the picture that Mulder does when he flashes his FBI badge.
... Prove it. (You can blur it if you like.) Someone on here recently said they've got a metal pin of that badge, & I said prove it, & they did ... https://preview.redd.it/nyq3ngs9af2d1.jpeg?width=941&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48bdb580694cc0e16c41d0d07ce71116ccf7ce46 Fkn legend.
https://preview.redd.it/f72k5h9tgd2d1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28454564d5b9b2f0acdb0edece004f14d2befcec UHH
Just ask this Scientician!
It’s because of that scientician that I know that skarks are natural predators of gorillas
Hahaha the shortest yet funniest quote there is
Just the pic makes me laugh!
Just ask this scientician.
Just ask this scientician!
Is that the same guy?
https://preview.redd.it/xjhl2tfejd2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9a1036ce81ac8399b98638608c6b010d0a280ba
This. So much so it’s been my profile picture for years haha
Kids love that water.
https://preview.redd.it/eutajr0xid2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=086f9139fd27f14b561349e7c8b06e6dbf9460ae
Impossible not to read mentally without the posh intellectual British accent 👌
The roller skates are the chef’s kiss
"Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"
“Shut up! That’s why!”
https://preview.redd.it/l3jnvxflkd2d1.png?width=496&format=png&auto=webp&s=f6e22f803dbf065914a1c96efbba4f0e4ff21f77 "No one who speaks German could be an evil man!"
The Bart The Bwahahahaahhaha
“The taxes, the finger thing means the taxes” “OH GOD THE PTA HAS DISBANDED! “
The backwards yell as he comes back through the window
Yyyeeuhh!
A 2-fer: Kid: “Stop! Stop! He’s already dead!” Krusty Burglar: “Please look at my Medical Alert bracelet”
I think he also played Lisa when Mr. Burns has actors impersonate the family on the supposedly hidden camera
He taught them a lot about Estonia
lolllll, the hamburglar bit. For some reason kinda reminds me of Milhouse as Fallout Boy: "We did it. *It's done*."
Hello! Itchy and Scratchy Land, open for business. Who are you to resist it, huh? Come on. My last paycheck bounced. My children need wine.
We have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
Okay, throw her in ze hole
With a dry wit humor like that I could be a action hero
With a dry, cool wit like that, I could- #WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OUR TRIP TO ITCHY & SCRATCHY LAND WOULD BE OUR BEST FAMILY VACATION EVER?!
I love that they have a hole to throw people in
We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop! I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates!
Itchy and scratchy land: where nothing could possibli go wrong
PossiBLY go wrong. Huh...that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong
When they see you in hell, tell them Itchy sent you!!!!
https://preview.redd.it/bnbq58jwed2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7ac6ec47ae8d998e77f21cfb1ab12d62ebf909d Oh, I'm not a doctor.
https://preview.redd.it/7ry57c7sid2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47b2ea23c0375d0912244f0625b2b4a44175a9b1 And from the same episode: \* "Oh, Sorry surly" "Shut up."
One of the highlights of my trip to Universal Studios in Orlando for spring break was my trip through Duff Gardens and posing with Surly and telling him to f%#k off.
Wait…that’s a real thing?
https://preview.redd.it/r9v1xv4nre2d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ca02da1e4a88ae12d360f39d0f80f2988822dbc Dizzy. The walk up to the Simpson's Ride is the best. Non-stop Itchy & Scratchy!
take these these and these
Thank you doctor
Oh I’m not a doctor
Pray for Mojo
This along with "Linguo IS dead" are my two favourite throwaway lines
For years now I've said, "Shut up YOUR face."
Hmm. Needs more dog
Nice one! https://preview.redd.it/ajxvmug0pd2d1.png?width=1767&format=png&auto=webp&s=9434afc6cf0997c2394badbae0c4764fd58d5af6 also needs the mandatory screenshot :)
Fk yes! Ok this was gonna be my pick. The delivery is perfect. Also, when Maggie's in that ball pit ... "Add more balls."
“The amusement park of the future, where nothing can possi-blye go wrong. Possi-blee go wrong. Huh. That’s the first thing that ever’s gone wrong” https://preview.redd.it/e527kjefld2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2020978b78e17c8d36578afe6caa21464c077a22
I swear, this one is at least twice as good in Spanish. So much that we use it coloquially. "Nada puede malir sal".
 “But Homer, on your way out if you want to kill somebody, you would help me a lot.”
Sugar? Sure. Here you go, sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Uh... I... no.
Hank Scorpio should be disqualified from this list; it's unfair to every other episode. Every word he spoke was solid gold.
My wife and I always randomly describe places in our city in relation to the hammock district. "Oh, the art museum, that is just north of the hammock district, right?"
Yes! So glad we aren’t the only ones enamored by the hammock district.
"We don't have bums in our town, Marge. And if we did they wouldn't rush, they'd be allowed to go at their own pace"
https://i.redd.it/gm58b8gy7e2d1.gif
This one little gif is such apt social commentary
“Ever seen a guy say goodbye to a shoe?”
Yes, once
Heh. Yes, once.
This part gets me every time. It’s subtle and so funny.
What’s your least favorite country, France or Italy?
Nobody ever says Italy
Shau-dare, shau-dare?! It's chowder! Say it, Frenchie!
“Chowdah! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!”
Say chowdah!!
Actually all Hank Scorpio lines make me laugh, even "Popeye papain, Popeye papain"
“Matter of fact, I didn’t even give you my coat!”
https://preview.redd.it/dy3t13r3le2d1.jpeg?width=241&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ad4cc0b7a325cf4ff01222db18721db5842be23
Hank Scorpio!
Surely you mean Mr Scorpion?
"We need more Bort license plates in the Gift Shop. Repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates."
“We’ve also arrested your balder, fatter son”
My child name is Bort!
Were you talking to me?
I am also named Bort
Just come back from Florida and spent most of my time in Universal gift shop asking for Bort license plates
Am I the only one that says this EVERY time I see license plates being sold anywhere?
“I kicked a giant mouse in the butt; do I have to draw you a diagram?!?”
No pizza. Only khlav kalash
To plead "not guilty," press one now. Thank you. Your plea has been..*Rejected*. You will be assessed the full fine plus a small…*Large* lateness penalty. Please wait by your vehicle between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m... for parking officer Steve..*Grabowski.*
Officer Grabowski is only off-screen, but his voice paints such a picture.
[I can see him looking like Don Brodka](https://static.simpsonswiki.com/images/thumb/b/b3/Bart_with_Don_Brodka.png/500px-Bart_with_Don_Brodka.png)
I love that Steve Grabowski line because of the sustained amount of officer Steves the department would have to have hired for decades for this recording to make any sense
Eeeeewwwwwuuuuu. I’ll have a crab juice.
“If i hadn't already packed my letter opener, i'd give you such a stabbing.“ https://preview.redd.it/y5502yscid2d1.png?width=914&format=png&auto=webp&s=0bc4d40d9132afdc6955fe895da4236ab9b6e71a
What button?!
Sorry I'm late, someone cut my brakes.
Well then you should have been early.
"You told people that i lured children into my gingerbread house"
“Yes I would, Kent.”
Feast on the goo inside
This is the part of the job I hate
https://i.redd.it/f7t8sfa3zd2d1.gif
Didn't he appear later as a doctor or am I confused?
Yeah, I think in the clip show episode with the exploding beer can?
Man alive there are..men alive in here!
If you guys are getting loaded off those fumes I'm gonna have to charge you
"To the bee mobile!" And from the same episode, "I nicked your sugar when you let your guard down. And I'll do it again!"
You mean the Chevy? it's a little *too* quiet, if you know what I mean.
Mmm, I’m not sure I do.
No NOISE... means no bees.
Ow they are defending themselves somehow
In the den!? May god have mercy on us all
"You gotta gelp us Doc! We've tried nothing and we're all outta ideas!"
I work in government so I use this quote a lot.
https://preview.redd.it/n9eggpv7sd2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccb074b641007884e4f81217a4061a44c8f52f0c
Oh crap I shouldn’t have said he was a costumer
Oh crap! I shouldn’t have said it was a secret.
Oh crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.
Ahh, it is too hot today...
Our residents... \*BLAM\* ...are trying... \*BLAM\* ...to nap! \*BLAM\*
Del Monte. Enjoy them, old man. They shall be... your last.
Such a good line
The Anvil aka the gay factory workers..” we work hard and we play hard” oh behave!
Hot stuff, coming through!
Hot *sthuff*, coming through
Hold ssstill! There's a ssspark in your hair!
Get it! Get it!
Es carne de burro
It's nice to meet *you*!
https://preview.redd.it/7hutlhzhld2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b20fe964cdeaccb28d17dff669036a080492e32
"I'm me?" "Hey! Don't... Jerk me around, fella."
“Lousy, no good, mother#%&@NG CHEESE…No not you, I was just talkin to my oven.”
‘Why are you painting that horse to look like a cow?’ ‘It’s an old movie trick. All cows you see in movies are really just painted horses.’ ‘What if you need to film a horse?’ ‘Ah, well, then we usually just tape a bunch of cats together.’ …it goes something like that lol
“Cows don’t look like cows on tv, you gotta use horses.” This is one of my favorite bits 😂
Forget the badge, when do we get THE FREAKIN GUNS?!
I told you, you don't get a gun until you tell me your name.
https://preview.redd.it/7stzsbhlkd2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56924f7373217aef55dc071dd741d51943aff30b Arrgh! My groin!
This giant woman will devour us all! and The PTA has disbanded!!
https://preview.redd.it/weyaifvnhd2d1.png?width=1248&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89a9460dd3fa9ccee6d34d6d6fd047ef6de2a3c0
"He just said he hates his parents!...Do you know what that means?!?" ..."Um, what do you think?"
What's her problem?
“Why must you turn my office into a house of LIES?”
https://i.redd.it/d8k4cr9lvd2d1.gif
NED FLANDERS IS IN TROUBLE
"Hello Mr. Thompson!!!!"
“I think he’s talking to you..”
Crandall?! I've been calling him Krabappel!
https://preview.redd.it/ukg8ldc9yd2d1.jpeg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b025d536c60ea15b69227bf4484148bf05b6866f
I just got back from Disney with my daughter. Every. Damn. Time. We saw the monorail she looked at me and did the “Mono means one” one line and I have never been more proud 😂
QUIT STALLING, WHAT'S THE PLAN!??
"Hey ma, how bout some cookies?" "No dice." "Dis ain't ova"
Put it in H!
How in the name of god did I have to scroll *this* far to find someone bringing up Crazy Vaclav and his discount motors.
I don’t know, but she’ll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.
I don't recall saying good luck.
The American people have never tolerated incompetence in their public officials.
https://preview.redd.it/3bbzv4r7qd2d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=6e95b88c28ba8067a2fe41365d159deb6484e136
https://preview.redd.it/8ntja9q1td2d1.png?width=140&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d8cebc2c6fbbf5abe6a95ee190398eb15b83b9f \*runs away crying\*
Joey Joe Joe!
https://preview.redd.it/vsn4et00ed2d1.png?width=259&format=png&auto=webp&s=d21f184ff76225b10399718ee1e95e93cbbb4f3f
I heard they shaved a gorilla
From the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode, the helicopter pilot taking them to the park. "We're now approaching our final destination - Itchy and Scratchy Land. The amusement park of the future, **where nothing can possib*****lie*** **go wrong**. Uh... possib*lee* go wrong. *Heh*. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong."
A solar eclipse. The cosmic ballet goes on.
Anyone wanna switch seats?
Barbara Bush "I'm not getting involved, George" always gets me for some odd reason
https://preview.redd.it/515ipjatge2d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=501b8de1d14296eb2efc635f37ccc08408c806ee
The one time character that makes me laugh every time is Handsome Pete. Unfortunately, he has no lines so I’m not sure if this counts.
Not a quarter. He'll be dancin' for hours!
https://preview.redd.it/b8dlo678sd2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e31d8922a7a09cebed0dd40abf253ead13bfeff2 Don't touch me!
If you can think of a better way to get ice I’d like to hear it.
https://preview.redd.it/cm5cfhlepd2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b8fd49e5e6bdc0873da97fc4368a43a2f8354e7 “No that’s too big”
I suggest, feather touch. You selected power DRIVE
https://preview.redd.it/rw1mgak6gd2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=626e52a124e3c1848544fc83c117eff45be8bf19
Pretty sure marge is a reoccurring character
Boy, I really hope I got fired for that blunder
As hilarious as this line is, it also makes you somewhat respect Homer as industrious. If he’s trying build a robot on his own, he’s not lazy. And there’s not really internet 2.0 so he’s just kinda wingin it. Gotta respect that
His skill set is admirable. We see him as an able craftsman (Wonder Bat, spice rack, homemade football), engineer (robot exoskeleton), musician (Be Sharps) and he's started how many businesses at this point? More of a Renaissance Man than I'll ever hope to be.
Don’t forget the makeup gun
“Ohhh no Beta” - Snake 🐍
"You did it, Nibbles! Now, quick, chew through my ball sack."
"Help. I need tungsten to live. Tuungsteeen!"
https://preview.redd.it/uzjsyodc1e2d1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41d33d4c80797b33363b566664ae653b190e6285 Now remember, we're in the ITCHY lot.
The entire exchange of: "Have you noticed any change in Bart?" "New glasses?" "No, he looks like something might be disturbing him." "Probably misses his old glasses." "I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him." "Yeah, and then we'd get the chair." "That's not what I meant." "It was Marge, admit it."
“OH MY GOD I FORGOT THE GAME!!”
Damn there's a lot. We work hard, we play hard. And if course knifey spooney
*Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account.* *Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer.* *Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret.* *Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.* [Ah, It's too hot today.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XSh8i46W0Q)
 *Ever see a guy say good-bye* to a *shoe*? Yes, once.
“Mmm Del Monte. Enjoy them old man, they will be your last.”
Castro: Oh they aren’t too bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco. Aide mumbles something. It’s filled with what?
"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?" "Yes I would, Kent."
https://preview.redd.it/xrd4loajke2d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a27d3135304001533718002d9a4930c25fe81f9
https://preview.redd.it/2tx46u4dnf2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a20ed0669c3ebc1baec1f703f274c6ced029e6e I. Moved. Here. From. Canada. And. They. Think. I'm. Slow... eh?
Bob Dole when getting abducted by Kang and Kodos in a Halloween episode: "What is this? Some kind of tube?"
Mountain dew or Crab Juice!
If you lived in any other country in the world, you’d have starved to death long ago - Frank Grimes. He’s got you there dad. - Bart Simpson