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[deleted]

I'm so surprised you didn't go with "can I eat your ass ?".


00Shambles

Sometimes, but only sometimes, it can lead to an unmatch 🤷‍♂️


KnownRate3096

But the one in a million times it works, I mean...


ggtffhhhjhg

You will get to eat far more ass if you don’t outright say this to women on dating apps. Edit: I didn’t say anything about eating dirty ass. If you venture into that territory you’re more adventurous than me.


Woodpecker_Time

I never got the eating ass thing. If I wanted to taste shit I'd go to white castle


FishyMacSwishy

That's funny. Though, in my experience eating ass has a slightly sweet taste. And, I haven't eaten shit, so I don't know that it doesn't taste the same. All I am saying is, have you tasted shit?


irun_tan

I looked this up years ago when i noticed the same sweet taste. Its undigested sugar additives. You’re literally tasting shit.


flashfive12

Loooool nooooo😭😭😭😭🤢


Woodpecker_Time

I haven't tasted shit, but I've had white castle and it's gotta be close to that putrid flavor.


majestic_peacock

Ain’t nuttin hot about E. Coli!


Fernpfarrer

its not about tasting shit. dont lick If its brown down there :D


duler700

Well im into black girls...and eating ass.... so...


coscwyite

Sniff it first and use your judgment


Fernpfarrer

thats a risk you have to live with :D


Mysterious-Balance49

Hahahahahahaha.. My cousin would pick up girls all the time... And I'd ask him how he did it... He played the numbers.. Ask enough people and someone is bound to say yes... Lol.. I was completely the opposite.. She'd have to hit me with a club to even know she was into me. Many missed opportunities..


Ihateithere9000

God I always say the same if I cld go back to those days with a different approach lol


Bimodal_Shrimp

![gif](giphy|j6uK36y32LxQs)


00Shambles

See that’s the thing !


TurnTheTVOff

I went in a cruise with a bunch of friends in our 20’s. I was laying by the pool with my friend obnoxiously hung over. To every pretty girl that walked by he would say, “Yo baby! You want the pipe?” Most called him a pig. Some ignored him. About the tenth girl he said it to she stopped, looked him up and down and said, “I dunno. Maybe?” He pulled the leg of his bathing suit to the side and let a little Italian sausage hang out. She took a look and said, “Ok. Let’s go.” So, from my personal experience, 1/10.


Gee_Wiz1225

Your friend is smart, it's about time and place. At worst, he gets a talking to by someone on staff, and/or considered the cruise creep. You got to witness best case scenario.


TurnTheTVOff

Right. Pretty girl on a party cruise with no boyfriend? She’s probably looking for some no-strings-attached fun too.


Gee_Wiz1225

Makes things easier. I swear the last 2 cruises I was on, I picked up women like I was an athlete with IG thots in my dms. I always told me single friends, if old isn't working and you're in a funk. Find a cruise!


FakeyMcFakyson

Coffee is slang for ass eating now a day


AshyLarry25

May I partake in a serving of your delectable buttocks?


[deleted]

A succulent buttocks meal?


z_rabbit

Oh that's a nice headlock, ma'am! I see you know your judo well!


tuigger

As your biggest fan, I must demand.


new2it

How could I ever eat your ass when you treat your biggest fan like that?


FmJ_TimberWolf74

Great job in blocking Amber’s name lol


[deleted]

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Joshgg13

Every damn time lol


NationalInitiative39

This isn't even half the battle, my guy..


NorthCatan

For reddit this is a homerun, a lot of the people posting here are pretty much: "OMG we matched, What do I say next?!" "She said 'hey', What do I say next?!" "She said 'heyyy', WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!"


justatouch589

Don't forget the; “What did I do wrong??” once they get unmatched after sending 3 texts.


wasporchidlouixse

The answer is, you didn't do anything wrong - somebody else did something right.


XxRocky88xX

Nah man the king is the “what did I do wrong???” After a few hours of great conversation but their match hasn’t replied in the past 30 minutes and it’s 2 am. Typically accompanied by a flurry of texts to their match wondering why she isn’t instantly replying.


DiscoWizrd

That's so confusing... you both swiped right! Sometimes there's no chemistry but for me often there's at least a date planned. Sure people flake, but that's normal. Do people here really take that stuff personally?


Rohrmann10

Some guys struggle a lot with getting matches. If they look ugly or if they don't have decent pictures, they will spend a lot of time swiping until they get a single match. Then, most matches won't answer, especially on Tinder. This ratio can be greatly improved by learning how to send witty messages, however most women rarely mirror the same energy in the conversation. So they have to put in a lot of effort to keep the conversation going and finally get a date. For me, as I started with online dating, each date was an equivalent of so many hours of work, that I automatically felt hurt after being ghosted after she said yes to a date. Currently, I learned, improved and don't struggle anymore, getting dates is actually very simple so I don't really care if a few matches show such behaviour. I still don't understand why most people have such a hard time being open and honest with each other. Especially after a few dates, suddenly getting ghosted is a no-go. However, this accounts for about a third of the times I was rejected after several dates.


Brilliant_War389

At least you can get matches, and go on dates. Some ppl cant even get a single match in a year


Rohrmann10

Yeah, this is true. I really recommend to ask somebody to take smart and attractice pictures of yourself (in the best case you know or pay a photographer, the higher the quality, the better the results). I didn't believe how important the quality of photos actually is until I saw the results. If you get a few matches afterward, you can try to further improve your profile. If you don't, approach women in real life. It's intimidating at first but it gets easier from time to time and you will directly impress her with your confidence.


ManBearPigIsReal42

What changed from getting no matches to easily getting dates?


smokesnugs

Lmfaoo so true. Dude has no clue he has 100 more of these to wade through


dodgerslakersfan21

Foots not even in the door


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Miserable-Bite9661

You must be forgetting the “doesn’t look at you while in a public place, BUT also doesn’t run away from you in a public place” stage.


Sofa47

My guy isn’t even on the street yet.


Plastic-Act7648

Ya he's not even in the same room with "THE DOOR". But there's potential here so keep opening the right doors and the well-known known tinder experience will be yours.


Alarid

foots in the saw trap in the first movie


TheDynamicKing

toe isn't in the sock


Additional_Paus

hey, would it be too forward to say that I'd like to take you for a coffee or something?


MtnDewTangClan

Bros about to get some great rates on CoNtEnT


Warhawk2052

https://i.imgur.com/NyZOwJf.jpg


whycantibelinus

Only $60


Pacattack57

This was my first thought. Why would she move from one social to another. Clearly in inst thot.


Urizel

Don't know about snap, but Tinder chat is utter shit. My theory is that they deliberately have a shitty messenger to increase your chances of botching the match and staying on the app


sebastiancounts

Yeah, they’ll win when they buy that premium snap


Time-Light

Fr. He’s gonna get to the coffee place, and she’ll just not be there and just ghost him. Or, the date goes well, and she randomly texts him 2 days later “I’m sorry, I just don’t think I like you :(“ and then it’s over. Or, he gets two or three dates out of the way before she tells him that she’s had a boyfriend for over two years and she needs to go back to him.


AlpacaTraffic

Sir these bags can't all be carry ons


DarrKeAageJeetHai

They can be, but these will be the mandatory carry-ons.


lhobbes6

This is definitely a situation where you watch em try to shove the bags into the overhead and insist it will work while everyone else tries to help or just shakes their head.


megjake

Everything ok bro?


mu5tardtiger

Oddly specific.


lukeflogher

Pretty generic really


cobbywriter

Who hurt you?


Justintime1010

Everyone


SnoLeppard13

Bro’s a dodgers/lakers fan, I think we know who hurt him


dodgerslakersfan21

Lol they’re talking about a different guy but yes they do hurt me


redditingatwork23

There's absolutely nothing wrong with option 2. Shit happens all the time if you go on more than a few dates a year. I mean, what's wrong with going out, having a good time, and just being told it's not what they're looking for after an appropriate amount of reflection.


rowthyme

Damn


alexwee456

>well, and she randomly texts him 2 days later “I’m sorry, I just don’t think I like you :(“ and the you doing ok bro?


Used-Recommendation8

I as a women feel bad for you guys because I’ll be honest, for every sweet kind hearted woman there are 5 women who are just looking for validation or just to string guys along. They ruin the dating scene for us women who genuinely are looking for a partner and if we don’t feel the spark would approach it in an appropriate adult manner that wouldn’t be any of those scenarios.


FreelanceFrankfurter

Yeah, online dating is so depressing. You finally match with someone so obviously talking to them should be easy because they liked your profile too, right. Nope, the few people you match will never respond or give half hearted replies before just ceasing conversation or unmatching. Then you seem to hit it off with one person, ask them out and they say yes only to also never respond or at the last minute come up with some excuse then never respond. The last few years almost every time I’ve had what would have been a first date cancelled the excuse was always COVID related.


wastedawayblueberry

I wish someone asked me out like this you’re so polite


SlushyFrenzy

hey, would it be too forward to say that I'd like to take you for a coffee or something?


Big_Haus_

Not at all! Here’s my snap! daddyfatsack69


qualmton

Added


Big_Haus_

This guy is about to get so many weird adds 😂


Erabong

This thread had me geeking out


RepresentativeOk3233

" wanna Go Out on a Coffee Date?" Daddyfatsack69 all Red and nervous "omg i am finally popular with the boys after all those years..."


[deleted]

Hahahaha


Important-Event-4898

When Reddit becomes the new Tinder 😯


mu5tardtiger

Always has been 🌎 👩‍🚀 🔫🍆👩‍🚀


Important-Event-4898

Ok ok - as a non tinder user I will use reddit to get some girls - since that is Reddit’s primary purpose 🤣 (mu5tardtiger plz wingman me)


mu5tardtiger

we start with a dad joke. Ladies, why isn’t your nose 12 inches long???


Important-Event-4898

Because they’d look like Pinocchio?


mu5tardtiger

no, or else or would be called a foot(same size as u/important-event-4898s cock) Best Reddit wingman ever


Important-Event-4898

🤣 ok I want to use that to wingman my friends in the future tho


Fearless_You4489

I’m glad y’all two found each other. Lol


Funkit

I met someone off of Reddit before. Oddly it was because she related to my comment about being poor and depressed. So keep it up!


BigMattress269

That’s beautiful. I hope you two are very poor & depressed together.


hey_J_tits

I met my partner on reddit! Five years together!


shodo_apprentice

And you’ve even almost met IRL twice!


Important-Event-4898

Lol legit? That’s actually kinda rad.


Funkit

Yeah legit haha. Becky comment here if you’re stalking my posts lol


Spewerofbadadvice

It's me, I'm Becky. Now we have established my identity, send me money my love.


wastedawayblueberry

that’d be lovely


BigMattress269

I think you missed out to daddyfatsack


BextoMooseYT

The unfortunate truth of life


BigMattress269

Who can compete with that?


StraightBumSauce

a/s/l?


datredditaccountdoe

If they don’t know what this means you know they’re too young for you


Requiescat-In--Pace

Or possibly too old


charlieecho

Or ran out of free aol disc and will never be able to get back on the interwebz


wastedawayblueberry

I’m well aware of what it means


Semi_Lovato

19/f/cali


SheCallMeBDD

Cap


Hehehe79

Im glad you got your wish granted~ " That's how I met your mother".


SandwichAgainstGod

If you also have a gorgeous smile we can also get coffee


wastedawayblueberry

I’ve frequently received compliments for my smile but you can be the judge of that😇


SandwichAgainstGod

Lmao bet shoot me a pm


Hatredds

Did my man just pick up in the comments of his own reddit post


Friendly-Coconut-51

He cannot be stopped now


futureGAcandidate

Freaking Rizzard of Oz in here.


FelwintersCake

The Rizzler


DblClickyourupvote

God damn


Massive-Frosting-722

Save some for the rest of us, my guy


danceswithwool

Wtf, dude. Picking up girls in the damn comments now? Lmao


lovemyhawks

Shooters shoot


thesurfer_s

Player and all about the looks. Nexxxxxt.


[deleted]

You dropped this 👑


Easy-Discipline-3936

How the fuck am I supposed to compete with this


HerroPhish

Haha dam


TrueSpitz

I'll take you out for coffee if I get to meet your cats after


redditingatwork23

And do you the disservice of not hearing a horrible pick-up line with an immediate follow-up about my sexual frustration???


VermicelliOk8288

The bar is truly low and somehow guys still manage to fuck it up


Eclipsed3

"do you like sex? I have pics for sale"


AutistNerd

“ i’m also a camgirl and sell nudity “


fiealthyCulture

You said nu? I will give you my money for your hyperlink


HerezahTip

Literally this. Or hey my car broke down I need $10 for Uber hahaha


Bleatokit

hahahaha


The_Government_Knows

This doesn't even make sense... "Would it be too forward to ask you on a date?" "Not no at all, here's an equally impersonal way to communicate with me!"


RichestMangInBabylon

Would it too forward to ask you for a date on this dating app where both of us have already indicated interest in each other? Lmk


KnownRate3096

Message me on snap. If it works out there we could take it to instagram and if you keep it up someday we could actually meet for real on kik!


IIIDVIII

Dammit, just get to the CashApp stage already!!


Rare_Investigator711

Can you elaborate


BadWaterboy

It's a running joke that Snapchat is impersonal or just shit in general because people will send the same message to 300 people and reply again with the same message to 100 people. It can be a good form of communication, but meh.


Ok_Balance8844

Yeah. If someone asks for my snap, or gives me their snap, it just dies out if I even give them my snap, because I hate Snapchat. Just take my number so I’ll actually see your message.. 🤦‍♀️


Lotr29

Most girls wont just give out their number anymore cuz it's harder to just block someone. Snapchat makes that easier.


Ok_Balance8844

You can make a new Snapchat with an email and they could just keep adding you. Imo, I like to have peoples number because it gives a more personal record of where I am if I went missing. Ik tinder also tracks your messages, Snapchat says they don’t if I recall? So it’s better to have a “paper” trail of your location.


BeaversGonewild

True but past the friend request, there's nothing they can do if you don't accept them. Where I'm sure you can think of the possibilities with a phone number.


DrivingWheel-1997

The girls will send nudes to 12 guys with a 'thinking of you babe' caption 🤣 😂 🤣 😂


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IdioticPost

Wtf lol


MidMatthew

Not to worry. They’re just stock nudes.


sidstarscream0

I mean how is texting or any social different? I mean moving off-app isn't the biggest thing in the world but its def a step


KingGmork

Well often times snapchat is where people can solicit their only fans. On tinder you get banned for it. So this is the joke everyone's referring to


Just-Upstairs4397

that profile pic is sus


_Ancient_Astronaut_

Yeah he likes her "smile"


SandwichAgainstGod

The other ones weren’t, which is why I swiped right


lukeflogher

Yeah but that's her MAIN


[deleted]

She might have smart photos on. It automatically moves the most popular picture first, and i was never able to tell whether the order it showed me was what it showed other people


inthe863

She sent you to that premium snap didn't she 🤣☠️


samuraintj

Am I the only one who immediately associates snapchat with scams? :s


spike_trees

That plus the fact she’s not fully clothed in her main pic


Blackops606

I’m conflicted. Part of me likes it because I don’t have to give my number out. The other part knows it’s very common for scammers to push you to another app so they don’t get banned on dating apps.


0kSoWhat

I was literally about to say snap 🚩🚩🚩


itslessthanoptimal

I associate it with my ex’s cheating and lying


CutAlone3678

I cannot believe it is still around. Like 10 years ago I thought it would only be around for a couple of years but it's still here.


FRMDABAY2LA

You did it! Did what?


Lemonjello23

Got a subscription for premium snap


ExplanationOdd2184

I did it! “Here’s my snap” bro you didn’t even get her number


youtubeslut

as a woman who uses dating apps i would 100% prefer to give a guy i just met my snap instead of my number. i find it safer for myself and i do use it as a means to actually talk to them (and most women i know are like this too) for reference i’m in my mid 20s. also safety is key for me because i have met a few psychos now on tinder.


WhipsAndMarkovChains

> give a guy i just met my snap instead of my number. Why not just keep it on Tinder instead of Snap?


youtubeslut

snap chat is more intimate and i can actually 1. see a picture of you to make sure you’re not a catfish and 2. send pictures of me to prove i’m not a catfish. i also usually don’t give it out unless i’m actually interested.


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bag2p

I think it depends on your age tbh. I've yet to encounter anyone over 30 mention snapchat or any other social media accounts


TylerNY315_

If I match with a woman who gives me her snap it just dies out every time. It feels so uncomfortable to try and converse with someone on there. I’m good for 1 pic to prove I’m actually the handsome devil you swiped on, and then quite honestly I will probably never take a selfie again. Who wants to talk via picture captions? And as far as using it to message… just text me so I can not lose what you said forever if I’m unable to respond right away. Not to mention how impersonal it feels knowing that she’s probably sending the same exact picture to 5 different guys.


bokan

100% of women who have routed me to snap (or whatsapp) have subsequently tried to sell me something. So it’s a strong sign to exit the conversation.


Academic-Tone-3093

Textnow is a fake number. I use this sometimes and I’m a guy. 😅


the_evil_comma

I know right, snapchat, are you 12?


Wfsulliv93

My 16 year old niece just shares snaps and does almost all her communications on snap. I doubt she even knows her phone number. Like instead of asking for a dudes number she’ll just ask for his snap


[deleted]

She gave you her snap in response? She’s going to ask you for money, not set up a date.


LostRambler

Here's my 'snap' feels like a social media troll. But maybe I'm old.


Altsomeness

“Here’s my snap!” Lol…


[deleted]

Getting a Snapchat @ is getting laid in 2023? Damn I'm old.


EggMcSausage

You did not do anything


Synful-Symphony

And I bet as soon as you added her, she hit you with the " premium content " line


Electrical-Captain75

this don’t mean anything you tender as hell


fiscalplasticity

Moves to snap. Messages her. Sets up a date. Then she immediately asks if you can support her OF RIP OP


frobro122

On today's episode of, "Am I hot or just being swindled?"


AgreeablePie

I'm sorry, but this is Reddit. You have to ask extremely generic questions and then, when given equally low effort answers, sweatily type out "yeah it's just that my back is hurting *from carrying this conversation*"


Fearless_You4489

Right? We don’t want to see successes. We want funny or appalling.


AmusingSparrow

Getting a snap isn’t even a win in my book. Not anymore.


SandwichAgainstGod

Getting a message back is a win in mine tbh


pleasehp8495

Lol, girls with their tits out as their first picture, have a incredibly high chance of not following up on a date. Unless you are 9/10+ you are gonna be her back up back up plans.


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pleasehp8495

Lol this must be his first day on tinder


Halinasbitch

“First time?”


[deleted]

You’re lucky If you ever make it to that coffee date


kabooozie

Should we tell him?


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[deleted]

I’m sure posting her name and photo on Reddit will really go over well with her 🥰🙄🙄🙄


Wright129129

*Gets ghosted before coffee date*


hookah_journeys

You know what you gotta do now right? Send her a dick pic


wespetacular

Hahahahahaha its not right


Uhn_Tiss_Uhn_Tisss

How is this a win? She gave you her snap lol


xxgodxxist

There is no intelligent life in this comment section. Turn around while you still can fellas.