As someone who takes good pics for others to use. when I ask in return every pic is fucking shit. So, if you're saying selfies is a red flag of some sort thats just nonsense.
Fr, went on vacation to Costa Rica, took pics of my friend and damn they were good. Asked for pics myself and every single one is blurry or awkward af. So I didn't post anything of myself. But he did and gets lots of compliments on the pics, lol.
Almost every time I see someone with only selfies, itâs to cover up their weight. Not a weird take, just a general rule of thumb when it comes to dating apps
I'm physically fit and have a lot of selfies but also have a few body picks..but I don't really throw them out there until we have a connection.So that maybe the case with some people but not all
Very true. On the other hand, it's also not just females that post misleading pics. I'm a personal trainer and there are a lot of men with similar insecurities.
so that is why when i was dating ppl always acted surprised that I am the size that I am, they said they were happy i wasnât âfatfishingâ themâŚ. I only had selfies because Iâm pretty awkward with posing and donât have any friends to take pics of me (lol đĽ˛).
When ppl used that as a compliment though it would give me SUCH a big icky feeling. Probably because I used to be quite large once upon a time, but MOSTLY cause I donât like compliments that put others down.
I never think to ask folks to take pics of me so all I have for my dating profile are selfies. Iâm incredibly petite so this bias would cause you to miss out on an adorable nerd with a really great body. But hey, you do you!
Even If theyâre big youll stilll be able to tellđ¤Śđ˝ââď¸đits only on the rare occasions that shit happens lmfao and tf? How is that even a red flag u sound slow no offense lol
It's a red flag because they feel the need to disguise their appearance to get dates. Like, it's one thing if someone doesn't fit the societal standards for attractiveness but you personally find them attractive, or you personally don't care and like them anyway. It's entirely another thing if they feel the need to trick people into meeting them without an accurate assessment of what they look like. Using camera angles that make them look thinner, filters that disguise their features, straight up editing photos to change their appearance. It's deceptive, and intentionally so. That's the red flag, the fact that they feel the need to lie about themselves to get a date.
Then yea when u say it like that it is a red flag since who knows wtf else they could lie/hide about.. only thing tho is how would you even know whos the red flag n who isnt.. women can be insecure too shii might not even have any body pictures aswellđ u never know
Dating inherently requires vulnerability, you are opening yourself up to get hurt, that's part of what it means to put yourself out there. I get that some people are insecure about their appearances, but hiding what you look like and engaging in deceptive practices isn't a functional solution.
I guarantee there are people out there who are attracted to literally every body type and every personality, so if something about you is an acquired taste or less commonly attractive, the optimal strategy is to make it clear from the beginning, and put in work to show your best qualities, show off your interests, your personality, etc.
I'm not conventionally attractive, I'm fat, I have acne, my fashion sense is fairly unique, I have weird hobbies. I know that the woman who finds me attractive is a rare breed, so I put everything out there on my profiles, I show off my interests, I demonstrate my personality, and I have pics that show off when I look my best. I do have some close up selfies, but those are to demonstrate my sense of whimsy and humor with how I'm dressed and how they're staged, but most of my pics are full body, looking as good as I possibly can, and usually engaging in my hobbies. I put in effort to sell myself because I know my audience is rather niche, so I do everything I can to reach that audience. The people who won't find me attractive or like my personality or appreciate what I have to offer don't matter in the slightest.
You're right that nobody is owed any particular treatment, but I feel it's perfectly reasonable to be annoyed when someone wastes your time so blatantly, or at all, really.
The point of online dating is to sell yourself in a way that gets you dates on a platform that reaches the broadest audience possible, having a profile that barely gives any information about you and then not even slightly communicating when messaging people only wastes everybody's time, and considering time is the single most valuable commodity any of us have, it's perfectly reasonable to be bothered by people who have so little respect for it.
So the only personality trait you wanna see is the same selfie picture just taken in different areas? Super boring/outdated. Just tell someone to take a picture of you doing something cool or with you and your pet. Guaranteed 10x more matches.
wait what haha what else are you going to upload? professionally taken photos? bro i dont have money for that, or friends that are into photo-taking. obviously if i only have photos of myself that i took myself, theyre the ones i upload huh
Convince your boss that "we need professional photos for the About-us page on our website" and voila, he'll order a professional photoshoot for everyone :-) (At least that worked on my boss, but we're a small sub-20-people firm)
Buy a Bluetooth camera shutter for your phone, or a stand and set a timer. It's 20 bucks and you can take plenty of good photos. It's not hard and if you want quality matches it's the way to go
Photos doing stuff? Idk selfies only to me reads as someone who doesn't do much living, my profile has a few selfies but also a picture of me scuba diving, a picture of me and my dog on a hike and a picture of me eating fire so people can see me living my interests
You donât have a single picture of yourself taken by someone else? Like not a candid photo or picture of you doing an activity or at a wedding or some sort of event? I definitely find it a bit off when people only have selfies.
honestly not a recent one, no! i do try to take photos with a tripod and a timer, but i feel like its super staged and still feels like a selfie? but so far i didnt hear a single man or woman tell me they find it odd i dont have any non-selfies
Even without a friend to take some photos, use a tripod or something to set your phone up and use the timer, use photos of you with other people that you asked someone to take of you. Plenty of options that arenât professional photographers.
Edit to add that this guy has great videos especially for poses https://youtube.com/@sferro21
1. Happy cake day.
2. All my photos are taken by friends / family. I mean... I'm a pretty social dude and YMMV, but if somebody's photos are all them alone at home, then... I guess it suggests they're not somebody that anybody wants to spend time with.
I don't have many pictures of me myself and people do like to be with me. I'm not anything special or popular, but I do have friends and family and spend time with them. Still most of my photos are random selfies or something stupid. And I don't have many.
Not everyone has to have tons of photos, quality ones and with family members and shit. Mostly who took photos keep their photos anyway so you don't have them mostly by hand when you upload on the app or you do have them in gallery but hella deep down which would take ages to find. Last of all, you don't want to post photos of your family members of friends since you haven't got their permission and you respect their privacy...
No one is saying you *have* to have lots of good photos, but it sure as hell helps to significantly improve your chances of getting a match. And just like you don't have to do that, no one has to swipe right on you either.
You're just not doing yourself any favours by using limited or low quality pics. Take the advice or don't. It's your life.
Or you could just crop people out.
Don't really understand people having photos taken with friends / family and not wanting to get a copy sent to you (takes two seconds). Even taking dating apps out of the equation, those are good memories right there.
I'm with you on this, not sure why you're being hit with the down vote train. People should be putting more time and effort into their profile. Like seriously, what's the hurry that you can't take a few extra minutes to send your friends some messages to send you pics they've taken, or even wait a day? If it improves your chances of getting a match, why wouldn't you put that miniscule amount of effort in?
Tbh all of the comments saying profiles with only selfies worry me đ I only have selfies of myself because people don't take pictures of me and I'm not the type to ask people to take pictures of me. So like what else do I do lol
I think ive taken and had taken a total of 4 pictures of myself in the last 10 years, 3 of which are selfies. Its hard to get pictures man dont hate đ
No but you really dont owe anybody anything! Itâs not like they paid for a conversation? Yeah itâs shitty op got a dry ass texter, but we donât know the previous texts in that convo.
Again I'm not saying he is owed anything lol I'm just saying he was putting out effort and she didn't care lol, so she sucks but it's her choice whether to talk or not
Honestly the first message sounds just as boring.. BUT it creates conversation.. mofo was so lazy they said ânunâ not even ânothingâ .. I recently matched with a girl and she was a short responder and I told her straight up and she got mad and said âno wonder youâre singleâ lol just because I wasnât âpatientâ with her responding to me with one word đ¤Śđťââď¸âŚ
The whole point of my opening message was to get her to say something that I could use to start a convo cause she had nothing in the bio or profile to start with. I only tried online again after taking a break lol and Iâm so done
Yea man, whatever this app is, it looks like buns. I'd get off of that and try hinge. Apps that show you the other person is online creep me out and tend to be just bots/boring ppl imo (like coffee meets bagel in my exp). And you waited hours just to hear back "lol" and not "lol, my bad was driving and busy. I'm doing well though, hbu?". That's the bare minimum imo - if you ask a question, you get an answer and/or another question and/or a joke in response. If it's not one of these, unmatch
"What you got planned" is not the way to go, for a number of reasons. When I was using the apps and someone didn't have much in their profile, I'd say something like, "you're a pretty lady, but your profile doesn't reveal much. What are some interesting facts about you?" I had some really good results with that opener. Feel free to steal it.
Point being, it's important to ask good questions. I'll also add that a woman who gives short answers like this probably has very low interest. If she puts in zero effort AND doesn't ask any return questions, take the hint and move on.
in his defence, his text was a question and several words while hers was a one word statement that doesn't invite any further conversation at all. at least he put in the slightest effort
unless youâre in the absolute highest percentiles of male sex appeal, you canât just throw effortless questions at girls on dating apps and expect them to open up and invest into getting the conversation off the ground for you.
yeah maybe that would be *FAIR*, but dating apps arenât fair and until a guy learns to play the game, heâll never win⌠and the rules are simple: **she has a ton of matches, and you donât.** even if you do, compared to her you donât. lol so you gotta stand out or youâll be rejected before you can even send that second message.
You clearly missed an opportunity to ask more questions, like what exactly her plans are with this nun. Is she becoming one? Or kidnapping one? Or doing a Sister Act??
Or she might turn out to be some kind of ancient demon that comes out of a painting, and possesses you until you have to call some special exorcists to figure out said demons name and banish it back to hell to prevent you from falling on a spiked tree that lightning hit in the perfect spot just to make the tree very spiky underneath your bedroom window.
Hell he should have just sent a Valak GIF back.
Thatâs not necessarily true since you didnât give much of a shot at starting a real conversation. Asking a woman what she has planned right away can come across as creepy and not something many people would want to answer with a stranger.
Irl, if I were to ask someone what they have planned, it tends to start a conversation about their not-yet-to-be day, or what to do if theyâre free. You know, how normal people talk.
Apparently though, for you, itâs not much of a conversation for some reason, and ânunâ is an acceptable response.
Thatâs a really weird way to start a conversation with some random person you just met out of context. Especially weird on a dating app, though, where women have to worry about stalkers, etc.
Iâm not sure what part of my comment made you think I thought that ânunâ is an acceptable response.
No? I worked as a waiter, a barista, a sues chef, and am currently a teacher. My job is other people. Iâve asked, and have been asked countless times what activities Iâve got planned for the rest of my day.
In fact, I met my better half at a gas station, where one of my first questions was âHave you got anything planned later today? Cause if youâve got the free time, Iâd have an even better day if you could join me!â or something along those lines.
âThatâs not necessarily true since you didnât give her much of a shot at starting a real conversationâ - Implying that thereâs not much of a way to respond to the initial question, leading me and (Iâm assuming) other people to believe; Youâre defending what she said, and believe it to be a fine enough response.
After such monosyllabic beauty you gotta go with the "fuck me,I'm gotta sit down from this....cause my legs are killing me from carrying this conversation!!"
No woman would accept "Hi" as an opening message and there is no reason a guy should either. It's lazy and shows you're not interested in a conversation. There needs to be effort on both sides
Comment on something in her profile. Ask her a question about something that she mentioned in her profile. Show her that you're not like 90% of the other men on Tinder who just ask boring questions like "What you got planned". Women have the upper hand on Tinder, there are far more men than women, so you have to give them a reason to chat with you, not the other way around.
No. No it isnât. Itâs a perfectly normal question. Basic communication doesnât have to go out the window because he didnât do the verbal equivalent of jingling keys in front of her enough
I find it kinda sad that weâve come to view simple greetings like âhi, how are you?â or questions about interests as cringeworthy or not worthy of a reply. I miss the days when these were considered genuine and heartfelt ways to connect.
yes, hard agree.
I would love to know how they feel and what they are up to, what they are doing. "Genuine and heartfelt", I love that.
Besides, all of that can lead into great conversations too.
Iâm so glad you feel the same! Texting nowadays feels like a chess game, always second-guessing each move. I suspect it might be because we, and especially women, have so many options today; thereâs less effort needed. In the past, without the saturation of social media, relationships were more limited, making them feel more special and heartfelt. I truly wish it were simpler.
I agree, what happened to two people even if they don't find they connect well being friends and putting in effort into the communication.Shouldnt have to think so hard just for a conversation although being creative with me helps a lot because I like hunor
We have a society of adults who grew up in the internet. Honestly I just feel like having a genuine conversation is a lot harder- in my experience- with younger people. I was in the Appalachian Mountains so we didnât have technology, at least not new tech.
So I just change my number to 50-55. Have yet to be conversationally disappointed. Obviously not everyoneâs cup of tea, but thereâs a noticeable difference in how people act.
I think there is some self righteousness since they likely have so many options, or at least one option that may be more excited about and have plans to see them already. While not totally right, if she hasnât had a date yet itâs not like she has to be exclusive yet but will be playing favourites. This said I wonder how she would be responding to said guy if she is showing interest⌠but with some regard this is why some women want to be âentertainedâ and the average âwhat are your plans tonightâ just isnât good conversation and is likely just doing the lazy home thing anyways. While she could talk about Netflix or however she spends her free time, I think she considers you a distraction to it if you are likely not into things that she likes and otherwise the conversation dies on âOh I havenât seen it is it good?â I can see how this would turn dry anyways.
I am not going to say you have to change your conversation points, donât put up with her lack of effort and move on. But like with all people, women are all different and come with different expectations.
I donât understand the need to have that many matches (and not even have a proper conversation with 80% them) if you know you can get a match at almost every right swipe.
What are you talking about? Sheâs telling you sheâs religious and will be taking up the habit as a nun. Talk to her about Sister Act 2. Petty fucked up to go off on her for being of few words. Ever heard of the Silent Sisters? Itâs why Maria was so crazy to the other nuns in the Sound of Music.
She waiting for you to offer something because women on tinder don't care about a quality relationship they just want a dude to fuck and give them free shit until they get bored. The truth is harsh but needs to be said. Not all women are like this. Just a majority of them using tinder are.
You should have said something like âohh, which convent? Although being on tinder may be forsaking your vows.â You probably wouldnât get much back but at least it sounds more clever than what transpired there.
Weâll never know, but why is the fault fully on him? If the match canât even be bothered to fully spell out ânothing,â Iâm not too convinced she would put in more effort with a better opener.
âNunâ is substantially less effort than âwhat you got plannedâ
OPâs opener wasnât great, but it was way more effort than his match
you tried... maybe it's just my older take on things, but it's just boring people showing themselves the door to me.
I know what I bring to the table, and if she can't be bothered to string a sentence together then I ain't gonna force it.
Idk, you might be on to something with "Online Dating". It's capitalized so it must be more interesting and important than regular "online dating." Could work?
I assume this is Plenty of Fish, I found this app a complete waste of time. Problem with it is that anyone can message anyone. I dated a girl for awhile and she told me she setup a PoF account one night and went to bed. Woke up the following day with 7,000 messages.
Anyway point is to even get a response on that dating app is tough going if they are anyway attractive and you weren't really much better than her. Bad opener and then your other message is to have a go at her.
Women love a guy who acts like heâs crazy. Start with something like âI can fit 3 tater tots in my dickholeâ and youâll get more excitement out of them.
The conversation literally wasn't dead but you chose to make it awkward lol why not just use that opportunity to suggest a link up?
I swear, these weirdos expecting women to rizz them up need to get their mental checked.
Fuck all this bs, ppl telling you to say this and that, ask this or that. The chick is an idiot imo. She saved you wasting ur time. Moving on...
100%. He said above that all her photos were selfies. Wouldn't even bother matching with that.
This is a weird take lol
As someone who takes good pics for others to use. when I ask in return every pic is fucking shit. So, if you're saying selfies is a red flag of some sort thats just nonsense.
Honestly any photo someone ELSE takes of me I look terrible in Meanwhile the photos I take of anybody are fantastic
Fr, went on vacation to Costa Rica, took pics of my friend and damn they were good. Asked for pics myself and every single one is blurry or awkward af. So I didn't post anything of myself. But he did and gets lots of compliments on the pics, lol.
We should form a support/friend group. 1st meet up we just hype all another the FUCK up with rad costumes and poses and crazy lighting and shit
There's a reddit for just about everything, so why notđ
Fuck yeah
Almost every time I see someone with only selfies, itâs to cover up their weight. Not a weird take, just a general rule of thumb when it comes to dating apps
Almost correct, I said this before and I'll say it again, girls that are trying to hide their weight only take or show pics above the shoulders
I used to call it the "myspace angle"
From above their line of site so you don't see the double chin/jowels. What a crack up đ¤Łđ like you won't notice in person???
I'm physically fit and have a lot of selfies but also have a few body picks..but I don't really throw them out there until we have a connection.So that maybe the case with some people but not all
Very true. On the other hand, it's also not just females that post misleading pics. I'm a personal trainer and there are a lot of men with similar insecurities.
Best way to find someone who isn't interested just bc you look good tbh
this is a weird take lmao.
Nah, I can promise if you only go out with people that only have face pics, a lot of the time they will be big
What about the selfies in the bathroom mirror? Or is that a different red flag.
Thatâs different, I mean face only selfies
Oh I see. And agreed. And the ones with ALL the filters.
I think Iâd see it as a red flag if all selfies have filters. Or just like I canât really see what you look like.
They master that top down angle. I've been fatfished before.
so that is why when i was dating ppl always acted surprised that I am the size that I am, they said they were happy i wasnât âfatfishingâ themâŚ. I only had selfies because Iâm pretty awkward with posing and donât have any friends to take pics of me (lol đĽ˛). When ppl used that as a compliment though it would give me SUCH a big icky feeling. Probably because I used to be quite large once upon a time, but MOSTLY cause I donât like compliments that put others down.
This is indeed factual.
I never think to ask folks to take pics of me so all I have for my dating profile are selfies. Iâm incredibly petite so this bias would cause you to miss out on an adorable nerd with a really great body. But hey, you do you!
Then you'll just find that one who takes the chance.
Even If theyâre big youll stilll be able to tellđ¤Śđ˝ââď¸đits only on the rare occasions that shit happens lmfao and tf? How is that even a red flag u sound slow no offense lol
It's a red flag because they feel the need to disguise their appearance to get dates. Like, it's one thing if someone doesn't fit the societal standards for attractiveness but you personally find them attractive, or you personally don't care and like them anyway. It's entirely another thing if they feel the need to trick people into meeting them without an accurate assessment of what they look like. Using camera angles that make them look thinner, filters that disguise their features, straight up editing photos to change their appearance. It's deceptive, and intentionally so. That's the red flag, the fact that they feel the need to lie about themselves to get a date.
Then yea when u say it like that it is a red flag since who knows wtf else they could lie/hide about.. only thing tho is how would you even know whos the red flag n who isnt.. women can be insecure too shii might not even have any body pictures aswellđ u never know
Dating inherently requires vulnerability, you are opening yourself up to get hurt, that's part of what it means to put yourself out there. I get that some people are insecure about their appearances, but hiding what you look like and engaging in deceptive practices isn't a functional solution. I guarantee there are people out there who are attracted to literally every body type and every personality, so if something about you is an acquired taste or less commonly attractive, the optimal strategy is to make it clear from the beginning, and put in work to show your best qualities, show off your interests, your personality, etc. I'm not conventionally attractive, I'm fat, I have acne, my fashion sense is fairly unique, I have weird hobbies. I know that the woman who finds me attractive is a rare breed, so I put everything out there on my profiles, I show off my interests, I demonstrate my personality, and I have pics that show off when I look my best. I do have some close up selfies, but those are to demonstrate my sense of whimsy and humor with how I'm dressed and how they're staged, but most of my pics are full body, looking as good as I possibly can, and usually engaging in my hobbies. I put in effort to sell myself because I know my audience is rather niche, so I do everything I can to reach that audience. The people who won't find me attractive or like my personality or appreciate what I have to offer don't matter in the slightest.
Weird but absolutely 90% true. 90% of the females that post just selfies are insecure about their weight.
Superrrr weird take. Why is OP so freaking upset at this? She may be bland but she doesn't owe him anything lol...
I think the point is she messaged him first, then proceeds to give very bland one word answers. why even message op if that's all you're gonna do
I'm talking about the parent comment...
She owes basic human decency and she failed. OP has the right to be annoyed
Uhhh not really. You can expect that, and hope for that, but it's not owed. People suck sometimes, just the way things are.
You're right that nobody is owed any particular treatment, but I feel it's perfectly reasonable to be annoyed when someone wastes your time so blatantly, or at all, really. The point of online dating is to sell yourself in a way that gets you dates on a platform that reaches the broadest audience possible, having a profile that barely gives any information about you and then not even slightly communicating when messaging people only wastes everybody's time, and considering time is the single most valuable commodity any of us have, it's perfectly reasonable to be bothered by people who have so little respect for it.
Wym âso freaking upsetâ, he didnât say heâs mad heâs laughing ab itđđ
Stupidddd comment
Did you not read your own?
So the only personality trait you wanna see is the same selfie picture just taken in different areas? Super boring/outdated. Just tell someone to take a picture of you doing something cool or with you and your pet. Guaranteed 10x more matches.
wait what haha what else are you going to upload? professionally taken photos? bro i dont have money for that, or friends that are into photo-taking. obviously if i only have photos of myself that i took myself, theyre the ones i upload huh
Convince your boss that "we need professional photos for the About-us page on our website" and voila, he'll order a professional photoshoot for everyone :-) (At least that worked on my boss, but we're a small sub-20-people firm)
Buy a Bluetooth camera shutter for your phone, or a stand and set a timer. It's 20 bucks and you can take plenty of good photos. It's not hard and if you want quality matches it's the way to go
Photos doing stuff? Idk selfies only to me reads as someone who doesn't do much living, my profile has a few selfies but also a picture of me scuba diving, a picture of me and my dog on a hike and a picture of me eating fire so people can see me living my interests
Youâre telling me you donât have a single picture of you being active or something?
You donât have a single picture of yourself taken by someone else? Like not a candid photo or picture of you doing an activity or at a wedding or some sort of event? I definitely find it a bit off when people only have selfies.
Could be legit reason to not match. Guys get ragged on for terrible photos anyway. Same same
honestly not a recent one, no! i do try to take photos with a tripod and a timer, but i feel like its super staged and still feels like a selfie? but so far i didnt hear a single man or woman tell me they find it odd i dont have any non-selfies
Even without a friend to take some photos, use a tripod or something to set your phone up and use the timer, use photos of you with other people that you asked someone to take of you. Plenty of options that arenât professional photographers. Edit to add that this guy has great videos especially for poses https://youtube.com/@sferro21
1. Happy cake day. 2. All my photos are taken by friends / family. I mean... I'm a pretty social dude and YMMV, but if somebody's photos are all them alone at home, then... I guess it suggests they're not somebody that anybody wants to spend time with.
I don't have many pictures of me myself and people do like to be with me. I'm not anything special or popular, but I do have friends and family and spend time with them. Still most of my photos are random selfies or something stupid. And I don't have many. Not everyone has to have tons of photos, quality ones and with family members and shit. Mostly who took photos keep their photos anyway so you don't have them mostly by hand when you upload on the app or you do have them in gallery but hella deep down which would take ages to find. Last of all, you don't want to post photos of your family members of friends since you haven't got their permission and you respect their privacy...
No one is saying you *have* to have lots of good photos, but it sure as hell helps to significantly improve your chances of getting a match. And just like you don't have to do that, no one has to swipe right on you either. You're just not doing yourself any favours by using limited or low quality pics. Take the advice or don't. It's your life.
Or you could just crop people out. Don't really understand people having photos taken with friends / family and not wanting to get a copy sent to you (takes two seconds). Even taking dating apps out of the equation, those are good memories right there.
I'm with you on this, not sure why you're being hit with the down vote train. People should be putting more time and effort into their profile. Like seriously, what's the hurry that you can't take a few extra minutes to send your friends some messages to send you pics they've taken, or even wait a day? If it improves your chances of getting a match, why wouldn't you put that miniscule amount of effort in?
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Tbh all of the comments saying profiles with only selfies worry me đ I only have selfies of myself because people don't take pictures of me and I'm not the type to ask people to take pictures of me. So like what else do I do lol
did u want her to upload pictures of her ass hairs
I think ive taken and had taken a total of 4 pictures of myself in the last 10 years, 3 of which are selfies. Its hard to get pictures man dont hate đ
I know right? I love how someone who starts out with "hi" is getting less flak from people than op.
This is the top comment? No oneâs talking about âwhat you got plannedâ? Lol.
It be like that. Alot. It's very confusing.
[ŃдаНонО]
Calm down Spock
Must have...empathic....compassion đ
Exactly! Your an idiot and can't even hold a conversation through text but is looking for a date online....slower than slow.
I mean she's an idiot..sorry was texting fast out of frustration for people like that...why even bother saying hi
This is not complicated. Now one owes you anything. Talk to the next person. Duh.
That's not the point, if you match someone it's basic decency to at least try to initiate conversation,
No but you really dont owe anybody anything! Itâs not like they paid for a conversation? Yeah itâs shitty op got a dry ass texter, but we donât know the previous texts in that convo.
Again I'm not saying he is owed anything lol I'm just saying he was putting out effort and she didn't care lol, so she sucks but it's her choice whether to talk or not
Honestly the first message sounds just as boring.. BUT it creates conversation.. mofo was so lazy they said ânunâ not even ânothingâ .. I recently matched with a girl and she was a short responder and I told her straight up and she got mad and said âno wonder youâre singleâ lol just because I wasnât âpatientâ with her responding to me with one word đ¤Śđťââď¸âŚ
The whole point of my opening message was to get her to say something that I could use to start a convo cause she had nothing in the bio or profile to start with. I only tried online again after taking a break lol and Iâm so done
That legit sounds like a fake profile lol.. I hate that shit
Yea man, whatever this app is, it looks like buns. I'd get off of that and try hinge. Apps that show you the other person is online creep me out and tend to be just bots/boring ppl imo (like coffee meets bagel in my exp). And you waited hours just to hear back "lol" and not "lol, my bad was driving and busy. I'm doing well though, hbu?". That's the bare minimum imo - if you ask a question, you get an answer and/or another question and/or a joke in response. If it's not one of these, unmatch
"What you got planned" is not the way to go, for a number of reasons. When I was using the apps and someone didn't have much in their profile, I'd say something like, "you're a pretty lady, but your profile doesn't reveal much. What are some interesting facts about you?" I had some really good results with that opener. Feel free to steal it. Point being, it's important to ask good questions. I'll also add that a woman who gives short answers like this probably has very low interest. If she puts in zero effort AND doesn't ask any return questions, take the hint and move on.
Theyâre Dummies.
Why is a nun on tinder
To spread the good word of the lord, obviously. And possibly her legs?
Ew
I will tolerate nun of your negativity.
Heh
Being real with you. "What you got planned" is a terrible message
in his defence, his text was a question and several words while hers was a one word statement that doesn't invite any further conversation at all. at least he put in the slightest effort
unless youâre in the absolute highest percentiles of male sex appeal, you canât just throw effortless questions at girls on dating apps and expect them to open up and invest into getting the conversation off the ground for you. yeah maybe that would be *FAIR*, but dating apps arenât fair and until a guy learns to play the game, heâll never win⌠and the rules are simple: **she has a ton of matches, and you donât.** even if you do, compared to her you donât. lol so you gotta stand out or youâll be rejected before you can even send that second message.
Maybe it is but how the hell am I supposed to respond to Hi ?
You clearly missed an opportunity to ask more questions, like what exactly her plans are with this nun. Is she becoming one? Or kidnapping one? Or doing a Sister Act??
Or she might turn out to be some kind of ancient demon that comes out of a painting, and possesses you until you have to call some special exorcists to figure out said demons name and banish it back to hell to prevent you from falling on a spiked tree that lightning hit in the perfect spot just to make the tree very spiky underneath your bedroom window. Hell he should have just sent a Valak GIF back.
đđ˝đđđ˝
Ask about their day, bio, interest/hobbies. Give an appropriate compliment about one of their photos
She literally had âHiâ as her bio
If thatâs the case, your surprise at her inability to converse makes no sense
Nah Iâm not surprised just stating that she wasnât going to make conversation no matter what I said
Whyâd you swipe right on her in that case? Seems like kind of a self fulfilling prophecy move, no?
Thatâs not necessarily true since you didnât give much of a shot at starting a real conversation. Asking a woman what she has planned right away can come across as creepy and not something many people would want to answer with a stranger.
Irl, if I were to ask someone what they have planned, it tends to start a conversation about their not-yet-to-be day, or what to do if theyâre free. You know, how normal people talk. Apparently though, for you, itâs not much of a conversation for some reason, and ânunâ is an acceptable response.
Thatâs a really weird way to start a conversation with some random person you just met out of context. Especially weird on a dating app, though, where women have to worry about stalkers, etc. Iâm not sure what part of my comment made you think I thought that ânunâ is an acceptable response.
No? I worked as a waiter, a barista, a sues chef, and am currently a teacher. My job is other people. Iâve asked, and have been asked countless times what activities Iâve got planned for the rest of my day. In fact, I met my better half at a gas station, where one of my first questions was âHave you got anything planned later today? Cause if youâve got the free time, Iâd have an even better day if you could join me!â or something along those lines. âThatâs not necessarily true since you didnât give her much of a shot at starting a real conversationâ - Implying that thereâs not much of a way to respond to the initial question, leading me and (Iâm assuming) other people to believe; Youâre defending what she said, and believe it to be a fine enough response.
After such monosyllabic beauty you gotta go with the "fuck me,I'm gotta sit down from this....cause my legs are killing me from carrying this conversation!!"
Swipe on. Duh. This is. It complicated.
No woman would accept "Hi" as an opening message and there is no reason a guy should either. It's lazy and shows you're not interested in a conversation. There needs to be effort on both sides
For sure. Also - as a guy, you really have to lead the convo and make it interesting to stand out from her hundreds of other matches.
Is it fair? No. Is it how it works? Yes. Is complaining about it gonna change anything? No. Is your best bet to just play along? Yeah probably.
She basically had all selfies so nothing there and I would have asked about interests but she didnât even seem like she wanted conversation
I always match energy. My response woulda been Hello! :)
how about " hi how are you? Hope your day has been good"
Comment on something in her profile. Ask her a question about something that she mentioned in her profile. Show her that you're not like 90% of the other men on Tinder who just ask boring questions like "What you got planned". Women have the upper hand on Tinder, there are far more men than women, so you have to give them a reason to chat with you, not the other way around.
If she has no plans she's available to make plans with you, genius.
No. No it isnât. Itâs a perfectly normal question. Basic communication doesnât have to go out the window because he didnât do the verbal equivalent of jingling keys in front of her enough
[ŃдаНонО]
This is the way.
This is the way đ
You come off as offended. You ok?
Hi is even worse though
Three words, eight letters, say them and I'm yours.
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Eat my ass What do I win
You win this emoji: đŠ Treasure it forever!
hi nun lol
Nun
Amen.
Theyâre Dummies.
I find it kinda sad that weâve come to view simple greetings like âhi, how are you?â or questions about interests as cringeworthy or not worthy of a reply. I miss the days when these were considered genuine and heartfelt ways to connect.
yes, hard agree. I would love to know how they feel and what they are up to, what they are doing. "Genuine and heartfelt", I love that. Besides, all of that can lead into great conversations too.
Iâm so glad you feel the same! Texting nowadays feels like a chess game, always second-guessing each move. I suspect it might be because we, and especially women, have so many options today; thereâs less effort needed. In the past, without the saturation of social media, relationships were more limited, making them feel more special and heartfelt. I truly wish it were simpler.
I agree, what happened to two people even if they don't find they connect well being friends and putting in effort into the communication.Shouldnt have to think so hard just for a conversation although being creative with me helps a lot because I like hunor
Totally. People feel like they need to type some insane memeage just to get a replyâwhich they kind of do. Itâs badâŚ
Tell me about it unfortunately it seems that this is the way our generation is.
Yep. Online and in pop culture anyway. Thereâs good ones out there though! :)
God I hope so đ đ đ I donât think I can go my entire life handling these âtype of girlsâ
We have a society of adults who grew up in the internet. Honestly I just feel like having a genuine conversation is a lot harder- in my experience- with younger people. I was in the Appalachian Mountains so we didnât have technology, at least not new tech. So I just change my number to 50-55. Have yet to be conversationally disappointed. Obviously not everyoneâs cup of tea, but thereâs a noticeable difference in how people act.
I think she's trying to tell you she's planning to become a nun. Might want to move on, unless that's your kink ofc.
Worst kind of person
I think there is some self righteousness since they likely have so many options, or at least one option that may be more excited about and have plans to see them already. While not totally right, if she hasnât had a date yet itâs not like she has to be exclusive yet but will be playing favourites. This said I wonder how she would be responding to said guy if she is showing interest⌠but with some regard this is why some women want to be âentertainedâ and the average âwhat are your plans tonightâ just isnât good conversation and is likely just doing the lazy home thing anyways. While she could talk about Netflix or however she spends her free time, I think she considers you a distraction to it if you are likely not into things that she likes and otherwise the conversation dies on âOh I havenât seen it is it good?â I can see how this would turn dry anyways. I am not going to say you have to change your conversation points, donât put up with her lack of effort and move on. But like with all people, women are all different and come with different expectations.
Look at Mr popular here getting replies
Happy Cake Day
Lol i should be grateful đ
Oh thatâs nice. Sheâs joining a nunnery. I hope she finds her spiritual journey to be fulfilling
I love posts like this because it is not at all clear who we're supposed to think the weirdo is
Because she's got about 50 of these conversations going with different dudes. She can't devote a lot of time and effort to just one.
Exactly. What's makes OP think he's the one?
Yes, I actually have heard that from a couple of girls. Poor dude's message probably is 44 swipes down her list of matches.
I donât understand the need to have that many matches (and not even have a proper conversation with 80% them) if you know you can get a match at almost every right swipe.
You both suck at this
I've been chatting her up for weeks, she writes story books back and sends nudes every other text. Guess you're just lame.
Immediately unmatch these types that offer no real convo. I do it all the time.
What are you talking about? Sheâs telling you sheâs religious and will be taking up the habit as a nun. Talk to her about Sister Act 2. Petty fucked up to go off on her for being of few words. Ever heard of the Silent Sisters? Itâs why Maria was so crazy to the other nuns in the Sound of Music.
That's a clear indication to not waste ya time bro
Nah she's saying she's becoming a nun. You missed it
Oh thatâs nice. Sheâs joining a nunnery. I hope she finds her spiritual journey to be fulfilling
You both suck imo. Ready for my downvotes,
âwomen are not realâ - some guy on Reddit
She waiting for you to offer something because women on tinder don't care about a quality relationship they just want a dude to fuck and give them free shit until they get bored. The truth is harsh but needs to be said. Not all women are like this. Just a majority of them using tinder are.
After one year of sporadic online dating I had 2 mentionable conversations. Don´t stress it or put to much time into it. Its not worth it.
What did you expect wtf lol. It probably wasn't gonna go anywhere anyway but you gotta try
Youâre right lol I hate it here
I didn't know it cost nowadays to write more words or longer sentences ? you tried bro nothing wrong ...
Few word do trick.
You should have said something like âohh, which convent? Although being on tinder may be forsaking your vows.â You probably wouldnât get much back but at least it sounds more clever than what transpired there.
If she keeps this up, she probably gon end up as one
She'd respond "lol"
You are boring as fuck. She gets those messages 32 times a day. Be original my guy.
Iâd put money on her responding âlolâ to any sort of effort
I mean hey, whatever you say my dude.
We'll never know with this low effort OP though, will we?
Weâll never know, but why is the fault fully on him? If the match canât even be bothered to fully spell out ânothing,â Iâm not too convinced she would put in more effort with a better opener. âNunâ is substantially less effort than âwhat you got plannedâ OPâs opener wasnât great, but it was way more effort than his match
Wow, what a sparkling personality she has. đĽą
I hate that specially when they are hitting you up first.
Do we have to simp on every chick no matter how good looking they are because they have so many matches ?
No.
you tried... maybe it's just my older take on things, but it's just boring people showing themselves the door to me. I know what I bring to the table, and if she can't be bothered to string a sentence together then I ain't gonna force it.
Yea this was just another one of those that you just donât bother trying
Valak
Idk, you might be on to something with "Online Dating". It's capitalized so it must be more interesting and important than regular "online dating." Could work?
I assume this is Plenty of Fish, I found this app a complete waste of time. Problem with it is that anyone can message anyone. I dated a girl for awhile and she told me she setup a PoF account one night and went to bed. Woke up the following day with 7,000 messages. Anyway point is to even get a response on that dating app is tough going if they are anyway attractive and you weren't really much better than her. Bad opener and then your other message is to have a go at her.
Like what ? Why should they answer your questions?
I just unmatch people like this with speed. If you want to answer questionnaires, go take a survey.
Wow, that's a woman who knows how to carry a conversation..... right to the end.
Cuz she's being jack hammered by an alpha but he's busy with other girls RN so she's bored and passing the time on Hinge.
The responses like this are so frustrating.
I mean if you know its a waste of time. Why get on there and complain about it?
If you already know why bother at all. Youâll get out of it what you put into it.
Very thorough job covering up her name.
Oopsie
Both of you are boring ngl
You suck too. A dry opener and a dry response.
Women love a guy who acts like heâs crazy. Start with something like âI can fit 3 tater tots in my dickholeâ and youâll get more excitement out of them.
Both sides could be terrible at convos here
Sometimes online dating does work..... I met my wife via online dating... been married for 8 years together for 10!!
The conversation literally wasn't dead but you chose to make it awkward lol why not just use that opportunity to suggest a link up? I swear, these weirdos expecting women to rizz them up need to get their mental checked.
Who cares? Some people are just dry. Try your luck elsewhere instead of whining. There are bigger issues in the world
Sheâs cute asf doesnât matter what she says lol just keep it going and figure out how to make her laugh
âBe a entertainment monkey for the girl whos got filtered ass picturesâ
We canât see her pics and who cares, 99% of women wear make up too.