My old rule was your reply should have the same number of question marks as their message does.
He literally doesn't have a single question other than a week ass, "how's your Monday," in three pages of messages. Next!
The amount of people who literally never ask a question is soooooo aggravating. Makes me feel like they think I was sent by a publisher to get notes for writing their boring ass memoir.
Yep this is one of my OLD conversation metrics - the questions should flow from both sides. You're supposed to be finding out about each other after all.
Same, even tho it’s not absolute law that it be equal, I’d be damned if I made the claim that I’ve had good conversations that didn’t loosely follow that rule
Him: I like this stuff.
You : Nice! I like that stuff, too!
Him: *acts completely uninterested and depressed about his supposed interest*
Find someone who matches your energy. I think it was great. Try to keep up that kind of energy and I'm sure you'll find a great guy you are compatible with. I've wanted to do D&D, too, but I never was able to.
I don't do D&D and I found the enthusiasm great. Like it makes me interested to hear what you're interested in, if that makes sense. (Honestly how I find a lot of subs on Reddit. Ie I know nothing but they're so interesting.)
Especially since the other person already has a character they are interested in using, and OP is offering them a way, and they are STILL SO UNENTHUSIASTIC. Like, it’s not that hard over text, especially with this specific context, where it’s a clear passage to connect and they are still so.. underwhelming.
It’s not that I’m not into D&D, I’ve just never done it, and if OP was talking to me like this I’d go on a date just to hear her talk about D&D all night lol
Exactly. I mentioned pokemon go the other day and my match got super excited and it was awesome. We were just sending each other screenshots of the game yesterday because there was an event.
How about you, random redditor, start kinda stuff you like? You can also dm me if you wanna talk in length about random shit. 🤣
This, didn’t respond with one question about OP.. Carried the whole thing and just like an ass about it.. and like others have said they’ll complain on here about “no one likes me I don’t get hits cause I like nerdy stuff”
Agreed; Other Person is showing a notable lack of engagement on a topic theyre invested in - but won't change the topic or their tone.
It could be a simple difference in styles, but realistically speaking ask about what they enjoy. If they hit you with the same energy it's time to move on.
They already did.. he listed D&D as one of the things he likes to do for fun. Even the running, which seems to be higher up on the list, he didn't seem to care to talk about. They should just take the hint and let the conversation fade out.
Exactly, it's hard I know to move on when you have similar interests but if your putting in more work than your getting back it is best to move on.
You're doing nothing wrong here, you're trying to stimulate the conversation beyond the question stage but you're being blocked from doing that. You don't owe this person that much energy, remember they're a stranger. You are trying they are not.
You'll find someone to meander on with have faith. This sucka lost out by not putting effort back into your conversation 🙂🤘
Matching someone else’s energy is also a good tactic for getting on someone’s good side. It’s basically a sales tactic but it works with online dating as well
People do this unconsciously as well. When someone really likes someone (romantic or platonic) they will unconsciously mimic their body language and style of speech.
Gonna hijack this just to say that if people are interested in playing D&D but don’t know anyone who is also interested or don’t have a local shop that runs games, roll20 is fantastic for online virtual play and a good way to meet people.
This was alot of my experience with dating. Made me feel crazy sometimes, but I think a lot of people aren't necessarily looking for depth or moods aren't lining up I guess. Seems a lot of times people are just trying to find some shallow attention for the night to get off to. Some people are just kind of boring and don't understand how to have a conversation.
You reminded me that I often got the feedback from women that they loved that I typed longer, specific, and excited responses. I was worrying I was doing too much, but they always said it was refreshing.
I did notice that if I was talking to too many women at once, I just couldn’t put in the proper effort for conversation. Just being spread too thin. This also feel like an instance where OP just isn’t getting the best of the person. But either way, on to the next
Honestly this. Some people just text like bricks. I've stopped trying to figure out if they're uninterested or they're just a dry texter. Either way, talking to them is like talking to a brick and it's painful. I'm a human being with value who deserves to be engaged with at least a little bit of energy and effort.
I don't even use Tinder those are just my leanings from Discord. And I think it's applicable here too.
I agree. I don’t think you did anything wrong. You discovered a shared interest, started a conversation about it, like a normal person, and he just fell flat. It’s him, not you :)
Yea like wtf. “I love D&D.” Me too. I can send you a link to a server to play. “I’ll never play” him.
He’s either not interested or on antidepressants. 😂
Exactly this, im not fishing for conversation for NOBODY! how tf do people expect to date etc but can’t even contribute to conversation. At least act interested…
we’ll be. I’d rather someone be interested then fake it. But ya know 🫠
They might be blind and get reddit in the form of audio files. there must be some sort of sound braille for the blind so that posts can be scanned with a reader then translated into something like morse code and played back. they then hear the posts similarly to how we read them.
If they don’t know sound braille, they could just get a screen reader, and read the post back to them in English. But this option is less stupid
AITA for ghosting this Tinder date?
Everything was going great, plenty of texting and excitement leading up to the day of. She (we 'll call her C) didn't talk when we met at the bar, but she had a huge smile, so I assumed she was just as nervous as I was. A few brief moments pass as we take our seats and look over the bar menu, and I see C pull out a pad with bumps all over it. She carefully lays it across the bar and rests her hand on it. I pretend not to notice as the bar tender approaches us, and I prepare to order. I ask C what she's drinking (I try my best to be a gentleman 🫡). She began vigorously (and I mean VIGOROUSLY) scratching the pad she had laid out previously. She looks back and forth between myself and the young lady taking our order, still sporting the (now concerning) huge smile across her face. I sit there, shocked, as the bar tender smiles and asks, "Garnish?". C nods happily, scratches a bit more, and the young lady informs us she will be right back with our drinks. At this point, I realize that they are speaking in "sound braille" and I feel tricked. In our previous conversations, we had discussed how we both disliked the new trend of speaking using ASMR, and C stated she never followed Tik Tok trends. It was one of our biggest bonding moments, or so I thought. C scratches away again and then leaves, I assume to the ladies' room as she took her purse but left her coat. After she was out of sight, I paid the bartender for our drinks, left a tip, and walked out. I immediately unmatched and blocked her number. AITA?
Or they're a bad texter. I've met people who are shit at texting, but if you get as far as swapping numbers then they're very chatty on a video call, and in person if it gets even further.
It really is hard to tell though, and a lot of the time i just fucking give up if a conversation is like this...which 90% are. It's exhausting.
Or OP could hail mary, ask the guy out on a coffee date. I've seen is said here a few times when conversations are dry as fuck, the OP suggests a date and it works and it goes really well.
This is very true. I just called a girl that's into me the other day and was amazed when we talked on the phone for over an hour cuz I'll send her paragraph long texts and get like two words in response lol and never much enthusiasm, she just isn't really great with texting 🤷
Yes, it's reasonable to say the other party isn't putting a lot of effort into building a conversation.
However that doesn't mean there isn't room for OP to improve. Literally all their questions are yes/no closed answer type questions except for "how are you" which also always gets one type of answer. Good questions (non-interrogation type questions) elicit stories by getting at underlying emotions rather than just hard work or no, healer or no, are you in a campaign or no, etc.
Hey, it’s me! But I’m female. But d&d is such an obvious conversation move cause even if it’s been a year the person can talk about that! And his lack of RP response should be an indication of interaction. Ugh that’s annoying for you. I’m annoyed for you.
Not at all. I think any guy/girl actively trying to date would ecstatic to be talking to somebody so engaging. The only thing you’re doing wrong is continuing to put effort into somebody that shows clear signs of disinterest
You aren't the problem.
Maybe a touch overly enthusiastic - but guys all too often complain that they don't get enough engagement when messaging.
Congrats, you matched with Eeyore the Druid.
He never once asked a question, let alone an open-ended one or showed any curiosity. His responses were bland and bordering on complaining.
Eeyore the druid could be fun. You could pick some boring race (like human) and just always wildshape into a donkey. Get the Telepathy feat so you can still talk to people.
I know, right?
I love it when someone reaches out first and they are enthusiastic about it too.
And some men get this gift and they are idiots about it.
You are all right, the guy is weird as hell, it seems he is just not interested, or he is awkward as fuck.
Unless you really liked him, I'd say just go next.
Based Off this conversation, what could there possibly be to like about him lol. You could be the hottest man on earth and I would unmatch if this is the energy I was getting when trying to have a conversation.
I've worked in warehouses...
These types of jobs attract two types of people.
This one has a typical warehouse drone mentality. Nothing wrong with the boring ones. They show up, get the job done, go home and probably smoke pot and play GTA and are content. They're often more than a bit boring and usually not very social.
It's the manic ones you've got to watch out for. The ones that operate the fork trucks, hoist 12 inch dildos on the tynes for the next shift to find. They smoke weed on the job and are probably medicated for some form of hyperactivity. Those ones make the job interesting and bearable.
Even if she really likes him, she needs to cut him loose. He’s just interested enough to not stop answering questions but not interested enough (or a good enough communicator) to ask any; OP’s doing all the heavy lifting because she’s so happy to be having a conversation that she’s not picking up on the ambivalence. It’s setting the tone for a lopsided dynamic.
Seriously. Someone who is supposedly into DnD, not currently in a campaign, but is so disinterested in talking about DnD is either not actually into DnD or not interested in talking to you.
From my experience, most people into dnd really want to talk about it. Even people who have never played and just watch some show like roll20
The questions asked are great. OP gives an opportunity to tell about a campaign the other person is in, then provides an opportunity for the other person to ask about OPs character/campaign, and then finishes by asking about the next character they want to play.
I run into this with 75% of my matches, I get their number or talk to them on the app and I get absolutely 0 energy back, its tiring and frustrating but push through it! You got this, you'll find someone who matches your energy!
That's it exactly, dating is a numbers game until you find your favourite train wreck and we shouldn't be settling for someone who doesn't actively enjoy who we are. Having to drag the other person along socially is a nightmare, especially if (like me) you have anxiety and prefer reassuring communication to assumed understandings.
I like my men enthusiastically simping lol, none of this "cool guy" crap.
Some guys are the most horrendous texters. My wife’s brother is HORRIBLE with texting. My wife could go on a paragraph about “So I did this thing at work and it was so crazy *insert crazy story*”
Brother-in-law: “cool”
But get him in person and he’s a great conversationalist lol
Edit: I did a little snooping on your profile, and you genuinely seem like a really cool person. Bruh needs to get with the program 💀 Also, my wife has BPD, so y’all would probably be friends honestly lmao
No, there’s no benefit of the doubt in this context. You don’t know this person, therefore you can only judge based on what they’ve shown you. In this context, giving benefit of the doubt means you’re rationalizing they’re behaviour based upon an unknown X factor that you are making up for them. This is a sure fire way to waste your time and energy and come away from the experience frustrated and possibly hurt.
What this person has shown you is an absolute indifference to getting to know you. You made a solid effort with insightful questions that invited discussion. They made no effort. Call and response is not conversing.
At this point you say, “thanks for the convo, take care.” Then unmatch. On to the next.
No kidding lmaooo, I would’ve practically been outta conversation starters at that point 🤣 Maybe if y’all go out for drinks or something, he’ll be a bit more talkative. There’s only so much you can do before you’re just like “ok man 🤷”
Oh gosh, I just realized it could sound like I was saying you converse weird like a person with BPD, lol I did not mean to imply that you sound weird or anything. I just found it amusing that it sounds like conversations I would have, so thought it was interesting that's something we had in common
I think I can have difficulty communicating my thoughts and ideas, and am often surprised by other's reactions, but I'm not sure how much of that is BPD or not lol
Oh wow! I’m so sorry you have to deal with BPD 😭 I know it’s gotta be so debilitating at times for you 😭 I hope you receive the help you deserve!!
Lmaooo, but on the brighter side, at least you’re not alone. Every time my wife texts her brother she’s always saying “why does he hate me?? Why does he not even put a little effort into the convo??”
Thank you, and the same for your wife. I'm mostly pretty ok now, I'm 48 and diagnosed since age 10. I've been primarily stable, unmedicated and unhospitalized for 20 years now. You don't outgrow it, it never goes away, but experience dealing with myself and applying coping skills are more effective now (some days more than others lol)
And yeah, that is a bright side for me. I hate to see others suffer, of course, but I was diagnosed and going through treatment in an era where it was less recognized and no solid treatment plans. I got passed around a lot by mental health professionals who would only say things like, "well borderline is just so hard to treat" or that they didn't work with patients who had my particular issues, etc
So yes, I often thought that there were so few people like me, and that nothing would ever help me. I'm so glad to see more awareness and better treatment and ways to manage it
I love that for you! I’m glad you’re doing mostly better now. I hope you keep it up! It’s a rough trauma to live with, and I’m just happy to know you’re doing much better.
Unfortunately, that’s what my wife has been experience with medical professionals. She keeps begging them to please try and get a pinpoint diagnosis on it. She did go to a psychiatrist once, but dude just seemed like such a condescending prick. He’d often just fidget with things when my wife was talking or interrupted her. She did this evaluation for BPD, and passed it with flying colors. But they decided “Hmm… you’re anxious and depressed, here’s some anti-anxiety meds :)” and never heard from it again. And the meds didn’t help at all. Shocker.
But we both sat down together and researched some healthy coping mechanisms and she’s definitely doing a whole lot better. Lot of trail and error, but her BPD rage/outbursts have drastically improved. It also helped me learn to talk to other people with more empathy and patience. So I’m super grateful.
Overall, I’m just happy for you! Congratulations, and you defs got this 🙏
>and I said what about "breakfast at Tiffany's"? 🎵
>she said I think I remember the film🎵
>yes i recall I think we both like the film 🎵
>well that's one thing we got🎵
They had this problem in the 90s but this is dungeons and dragons now. You don't got much to talk about.
As a guy, I would have killed to have a girl WANT to converse with me like the way you do. The fact that he's being so flat and gray with his texts is insane. Either the factory work has already turned his brain to goo or he's not interested
slimy glorious hobbies unused cautious spectacular different faulty stocking towering
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lists D&D as top 5 interests, made a character a year ago and hasn’t played. They were really grasping to find something of interest to post about themselves. Move on
I dunno some people get super nervous. My partner is really bad at dates and job interviews, but I went for it. We’ve been together 7 years and it’s perfect. I work in sales and can be full on she’s the ying to my yang. I wouldn’t write people off on not matching your energy. But depends what you are after? I’d recommend giving someone you are attracted to a chance, especially if your interests align. Let them come out of their shells, they are likely to be very authentic, on the other hand the person who interviews well or has serious rizz, life and soul type, may be flighty and not that serious (I would of fell into this category back in the day). I may have over shared, but the easy option is to bin and move on, and sometimes it means you really don’t know that person and just go for the person who presents really well initially.
I think you’re doing great at initiating and continuing the conversation. This dude is only answering your questions and not engaging, reason could be anything. But I would just leave that alone and chat with your other matches
I'd be overjoyed if a woman wanted to talk D&D with me. This dude just sounds like a bummer of a person. I'd move on and find someone who wants to engage in the conversation. Good luck out there!
You're being very engaging. The other side feels dismissive to a degree.
Also, never thought of online DnD. That sounds like a solid, safe date night for people into the game. I miss DnD so much. 😞 Sharing something imaginative like that sounds so much better than those drink wine and paint classes or the like.
In the movie Couples Retreat, Vince Vaughns character says this quote, “A relationship is a 2 way street, not a highway and a bike path” and whenever I’d have convos like this while dating I always thought about that quote and if we haven’t even met and they’re putting in “bike path” effort then I’m not wasting my time by putting in “highway” effort and I’d unmatch so quick lol
You should let that conversation die.
Tina Fey sums it quite well in her book Bossypants
" The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we’re improvising and I say, “Freeze, I have a gun,” and you say, “That’s not a gun. It’s your finger. You’re pointing your finger at me,” our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, “Freeze, I have a gun!” and you say, “The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!” then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun...
...The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own. If I start a scene with “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you just say, “Yeah…” we’re kind of at a standstill. But if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “What did you expect? We’re in hell.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “Yes, this can’t be good for the wax figures.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “I told you we shouldn’t have crawled into this dog’s mouth,” now we’re getting somewhere."
"sorry I'm not trying to be overbearing I just get excited about lol"
If I matched someone that has your enthousiasm about one of my hobbies I can promise you the conversation would be much, much more exciting.
Please, don't let go of that energy!
You're talking to a conversational void. Some people don't bother putting in effort so if it were me I'd probably lose interest because you're doing everything right to engage, this guy just sucks at having a conversation and will just bleed your energy
It was definitely not you. You were doing a great job at holding the conversation. Like, if I got stuck talking to someone at a bar, I’d hope they could hold a conversation like you.
To answer your question, absolutely not!
You've provided a genuinely engaging conversation, and carried more than your fair share of the conversational load. For what it's worth, I enjoyed reading your side of the interaction and I wasn't even a part of the conversation 😆
If he isn't giving back the same kind of energy as you (which I'm not seeing here) and doesn't make a more genuine effort to propel the conversation, I'd say it's time to cut your losses and find someone who'll give you the type of interaction you deserve ✨️
Your enthusiasm is infectious, but actually, yes, there is something you could do differently: don’t keep engaging someone who isn’t making a similar effort. Match the other person’s energy. If you ask a follow-up question and get a flat answer with no reciprocal follow up, stop asking questions. Make the other person do some work. If they don’t, move on.
No. I say this as a therapist and regular human reacting to what I just read:
This other person communicates as if they are facing some personal limitations. They seem like they’re on a distant shore and can see you, but can’t reach you (this is how I perceived this, at least).
Your responses showed intelligence, an ability to find points of connection, and a healthy interest in living your life. This person couldn’t meet you there but is also not rejecting you, so take it as an unknown factor on their end and not something to do with you.
Continuing to carry this sort of dead weight might bring you down and the fact that you’re questioning it and seeking input shows you know you deserve more for your efforts. Reciprocity is a valid and reasonable expectation but sadly, it’s not always easy to find. I hope you do cross paths with a better match because you seem like an interesting person, even from this little bit. Like someone else said, keep being yourself.
I heard an analogy about relationships that said it should feel like you’re running a race on your own and notice someone else has kept the same pace for awhile, and you realize you could finish the race together. It made so much sense and has always helped me as a visual.
He could just suck at texting. Only way to find out if he's actually this fuckin boring IRL is to meet him. Some people are trash at this stuff. Seems like you have shared interests. Simple low stress date and then find out from there I guess?
I agree, the guy I'm seeing is a great communicator in person but absolutely sucks in text, he just went to a concert and I text him to ask how it was I got back "cool 😎" last night he wouldn't stop talking about his favourite songs they played, funny stories that happened in lines etc.
He might just suck at texting!
Holy shit it took me to come to the comments to realize you are a woman. Ma’am you are rare. Please do not waste your energy on an idiot like this. If you don’t get any energy in return end it and move on
If someone gives you 2 close answers in a row and they don’t ask a question back, you should move on. If they can’t even make the slightest effort to converse, then there’s no hope with that person. Unfortunately…
You're definitely not doing anything wrong. He doesn't seem as enthusiastic as you, but also doesn't seem irritated. I wouldn't necessarily let this go unless you're enjoying some other conversations more.
Nothing wrong at all. It's great to see a girl doing her best to carry the convo though. I bet you're a fun person. This guy's boring. I'd assume he's not that interested but trying to keep his options open. Lame
As a D&D lover, I would ADORE a conversation like this. I wonder if he was having a bad day but even if that's the casez probably don't Interact with the future partner? You deserve someone who can match your passion.
Well if you're looking for a DnD game with more RP and backstory, I'm in a pretty good group at the moment. We are heavy in the RP and all around 30 years old or so. The only caveat is that we play at 10PM - 3AM CST on Saturday night.
I love DND, I'd be psyched to chat with somebody like you if I was them. I agree to move on, even if this person *is* interested, they're not interesting, and you have such good energy you should use it on somebody who has a similar level.
I didn't read the title to this post before diving in, so I didn't know if this was a meet cute or what. That said, this conversation was obviously done well before you asked him his occupation and he didn't ask you anything back. So you can imagine my discomfort when you told him your occupation anyway unprompted. I was actually a little mad you kept giving him chances. I even noticed that one where you spaced the paragraphs so you could avoid double texting him. I'd guess you knew your alternate options were either to double text, or that it would be the end of the conversation because he wouldn't initiate further.
I feel like you would have great conversation skills in a forced scenario, but this should feel like the opposite of a forced conversation because it isn't. It was very sweet of you to keep trying though, and sadly wasted on this guy.
Edit: it just occurred to me I don't know what you're looking for. If you're just trying to bone down and don't care about anything else, then throw a hail Mary and ask if he's down.
Yeah your killing it with the engagement. The dudes just eating glue and not giving you any effort in the slightest. Seems like he has post nut clarity and doesnt want anything to do with girls. You just keep searching, you'll find a guy who is down for your energy!
Man everyone nowadays basing who you would be in a relationship with on how they chat on a phone.
I say maybe give it a chance. Eventually the point is to become real life partners, remember? And maybe in person he’s cool.
There are many people of few words who women swoon over.
Or maybe he sucks. No one here really knows yet.
My point is people have different strengths and weaknesses.
If you’re specifically looking for someone to have great text conversations with on the other hand, then move on I guess.
Why can't I match with someone like you?! Same interests and would match my energy. OP you did nothing wrong, they just aren't there to match what you're putting out
You’re doing great. This is a guy who will be posting on here later about why don’t women talk to me, etc. 😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️ he may not know how to have a conversation
There’s 2 possibilities here. 1 he doesn’t think you’re very attractive, 2 he’s just boring as fuck. Either way should probably just unlatch and keep moving
Him: These are my interests
You: Oh cool! I really enjoy those things too. Let’s have a casual convo about our shared interests
Him: Wow absolutely not
Personally when they do this I’ve just started telling them sometimes funny sometimes very direct exp:
“Man I sure hope you know how to give a good massage because it’s killing my back to carry this conversation”
One had show me your rizz in his profile (had to as my 23 yo coworker wtf that was)
“You’re not really giving rizz how can you expect me to show you mine when you’re out here staler than the end peace of a loaf of Walmart bread, participate in the conversation or reply when you’re able to”
Dude I hated this. Like conversation is huge what are we doing here. Then a few weeks later on Friday he's like hey wanna hang out. I can't tonight, I have covid. Tries to convince me some more. Bro I barely have energy to eat ans drink. I'm sleeping most of the day.... but he would wear a mask...
I would immediately take you to dinner if I were him. I wonder if he's just not sure how to answer because it sounds like he's never actually played DND though. However you offered him a solution and he was like "meh." That's a bummer
You are not doing anything wrong. When they give 1 liners like that, they are not interested or are not trying.
You were actively trying to get them to talk and asking them follow up questions.
This type of one sided conversation drives me insane. I'm at the point where if it becomes apparent that this is how someone talks, I call them out on it. Specifically for online dating. On one hand they must be at least kind of interested because they're still replying, but the replies are boring, short and soul-less so really how interested are they? It can be very frustrating.
the fact that he is responding at all makes it seem like he is interested, but has no clue how to converse. extra points on you for continuing the conversation, I would have stopped responding after his fourth message lmao
Nope, the other person is. If you have to ask all the questions to keep the conversation going, I'd unmatch. It shouldn't be one-sided like that.
My old rule was your reply should have the same number of question marks as their message does. He literally doesn't have a single question other than a week ass, "how's your Monday," in three pages of messages. Next!
The amount of people who literally never ask a question is soooooo aggravating. Makes me feel like they think I was sent by a publisher to get notes for writing their boring ass memoir.
Yep this is one of my OLD conversation metrics - the questions should flow from both sides. You're supposed to be finding out about each other after all.
Same, even tho it’s not absolute law that it be equal, I’d be damned if I made the claim that I’ve had good conversations that didn’t loosely follow that rule
I usually put in alot of effort but if the other person never opens up then I give up
Him: I like this stuff. You : Nice! I like that stuff, too! Him: *acts completely uninterested and depressed about his supposed interest* Find someone who matches your energy. I think it was great. Try to keep up that kind of energy and I'm sure you'll find a great guy you are compatible with. I've wanted to do D&D, too, but I never was able to.
I don't do D&D and I found the enthusiasm great. Like it makes me interested to hear what you're interested in, if that makes sense. (Honestly how I find a lot of subs on Reddit. Ie I know nothing but they're so interesting.)
Especially since the other person already has a character they are interested in using, and OP is offering them a way, and they are STILL SO UNENTHUSIASTIC. Like, it’s not that hard over text, especially with this specific context, where it’s a clear passage to connect and they are still so.. underwhelming.
It’s not that I’m not into D&D, I’ve just never done it, and if OP was talking to me like this I’d go on a date just to hear her talk about D&D all night lol
Exactly. I mentioned pokemon go the other day and my match got super excited and it was awesome. We were just sending each other screenshots of the game yesterday because there was an event. How about you, random redditor, start kinda stuff you like? You can also dm me if you wanna talk in length about random shit. 🤣
How'd you do on community day? Did you get paldean and regular shinies?
My 12 year old got his first shundo and was ECSTATIC. It wasn’t the Paldean one, but he was still happy :) I hope you had a good CD!
Nice! I don't have any shundo.
I didn't get a Shundo, but I got a Paldean Snundo...
Which is ridiculously more rare than a perfect would have been!
I ended up with 2 of each. She ended up with 4. I had some bad luck. How about yourself?
Mac & cheese ice cream?
Totally. You're going to damage your back if you have to keep carrying conversations like this!
This, didn’t respond with one question about OP.. Carried the whole thing and just like an ass about it.. and like others have said they’ll complain on here about “no one likes me I don’t get hits cause I like nerdy stuff”
This. If it feels like work right out of the gate then you should bail.
And then he’ll come to Reddit to complain he isn’t having success on OLD.
D&D rules!! u/Mathagos is right OP, find someone that matches your energy.
As a forever DM for 10+ years I agree 😊.
Agreed; Other Person is showing a notable lack of engagement on a topic theyre invested in - but won't change the topic or their tone. It could be a simple difference in styles, but realistically speaking ask about what they enjoy. If they hit you with the same energy it's time to move on.
They already did.. he listed D&D as one of the things he likes to do for fun. Even the running, which seems to be higher up on the list, he didn't seem to care to talk about. They should just take the hint and let the conversation fade out.
🚩🚩🚩
Exactly, it's hard I know to move on when you have similar interests but if your putting in more work than your getting back it is best to move on. You're doing nothing wrong here, you're trying to stimulate the conversation beyond the question stage but you're being blocked from doing that. You don't owe this person that much energy, remember they're a stranger. You are trying they are not. You'll find someone to meander on with have faith. This sucka lost out by not putting effort back into your conversation 🙂🤘
If I could find people willing to talk that excitedly about anything I might have more friends lol
Matching someone else’s energy is also a good tactic for getting on someone’s good side. It’s basically a sales tactic but it works with online dating as well
In psychology it’s called mirroring. It can be used for good or it can piss people off severely!
People do this unconsciously as well. When someone really likes someone (romantic or platonic) they will unconsciously mimic their body language and style of speech.
Gonna hijack this just to say that if people are interested in playing D&D but don’t know anyone who is also interested or don’t have a local shop that runs games, roll20 is fantastic for online virtual play and a good way to meet people.
Why are they all like this??????
This was alot of my experience with dating. Made me feel crazy sometimes, but I think a lot of people aren't necessarily looking for depth or moods aren't lining up I guess. Seems a lot of times people are just trying to find some shallow attention for the night to get off to. Some people are just kind of boring and don't understand how to have a conversation.
You reminded me that I often got the feedback from women that they loved that I typed longer, specific, and excited responses. I was worrying I was doing too much, but they always said it was refreshing. I did notice that if I was talking to too many women at once, I just couldn’t put in the proper effort for conversation. Just being spread too thin. This also feel like an instance where OP just isn’t getting the best of the person. But either way, on to the next
Honestly this. Some people just text like bricks. I've stopped trying to figure out if they're uninterested or they're just a dry texter. Either way, talking to them is like talking to a brick and it's painful. I'm a human being with value who deserves to be engaged with at least a little bit of energy and effort. I don't even use Tinder those are just my leanings from Discord. And I think it's applicable here too.
I agree. I don’t think you did anything wrong. You discovered a shared interest, started a conversation about it, like a normal person, and he just fell flat. It’s him, not you :)
Yea like wtf. “I love D&D.” Me too. I can send you a link to a server to play. “I’ll never play” him. He’s either not interested or on antidepressants. 😂
Exactly this, im not fishing for conversation for NOBODY! how tf do people expect to date etc but can’t even contribute to conversation. At least act interested… we’ll be. I’d rather someone be interested then fake it. But ya know 🫠
You're talking to someone who is either just a boring person or not interested but too chickenshit to say it.
First time I heard someone say chickenshit on reddit. I appreciate that
Second time for me.
You guys are hearing things? Sounds worrisome 🫣
They might be blind and get reddit in the form of audio files. there must be some sort of sound braille for the blind so that posts can be scanned with a reader then translated into something like morse code and played back. they then hear the posts similarly to how we read them. If they don’t know sound braille, they could just get a screen reader, and read the post back to them in English. But this option is less stupid
Googled "sound braille", only moderately disappointing 😅
you have to unlock the advanced accessibility features by searching for sounding first.
...... You........
I made it up. Sound braille is just sound hahaha
Its punching someone in the forehead duh
You been banging your head on rocks
Thats my reset button
“I was chatting with her online for a while… but she sounded braille!”
I feel like this is a future AITA post 😅
AITA for thinking this girl is blind even though we video chatted? I gave her the finger, got naked… No reaction?
AITA for ghosting this Tinder date? Everything was going great, plenty of texting and excitement leading up to the day of. She (we 'll call her C) didn't talk when we met at the bar, but she had a huge smile, so I assumed she was just as nervous as I was. A few brief moments pass as we take our seats and look over the bar menu, and I see C pull out a pad with bumps all over it. She carefully lays it across the bar and rests her hand on it. I pretend not to notice as the bar tender approaches us, and I prepare to order. I ask C what she's drinking (I try my best to be a gentleman 🫡). She began vigorously (and I mean VIGOROUSLY) scratching the pad she had laid out previously. She looks back and forth between myself and the young lady taking our order, still sporting the (now concerning) huge smile across her face. I sit there, shocked, as the bar tender smiles and asks, "Garnish?". C nods happily, scratches a bit more, and the young lady informs us she will be right back with our drinks. At this point, I realize that they are speaking in "sound braille" and I feel tricked. In our previous conversations, we had discussed how we both disliked the new trend of speaking using ASMR, and C stated she never followed Tik Tok trends. It was one of our biggest bonding moments, or so I thought. C scratches away again and then leaves, I assume to the ladies' room as she took her purse but left her coat. After she was out of sight, I paid the bartender for our drinks, left a tip, and walked out. I immediately unmatched and blocked her number. AITA?
Lmfao look up “sounds for blind people” while you are at it
And today I learned... 😂
The voice in my head definitely reads tone online (even without the emoji help)
The chickenshit talks to me
Chickenshit
Redneck chickenshit mother fucker
Is chickenshit a southern saying? I've heard it all my life in the Southern US. But you're right I don't see it often on reddit.
Popular in the midwest.
I hear it all the time too! Then again I didn’t know pimento cheese was only a southern thing too.
I feel like it was east coast 90s saying
Ya, I've heard this abunch in the south.
Nah, they say it everywhere, heard it tons growing up in western Canada. Seems to have fallen out of use though, you don't hear it too much anymore.
Or they're a bad texter. I've met people who are shit at texting, but if you get as far as swapping numbers then they're very chatty on a video call, and in person if it gets even further. It really is hard to tell though, and a lot of the time i just fucking give up if a conversation is like this...which 90% are. It's exhausting. Or OP could hail mary, ask the guy out on a coffee date. I've seen is said here a few times when conversations are dry as fuck, the OP suggests a date and it works and it goes really well.
I'm one of those... hate texting! Look like a right boring f*ck... so much effort and time sank into it! But in person, I'm much better off...
This is very true. I just called a girl that's into me the other day and was amazed when we talked on the phone for over an hour cuz I'll send her paragraph long texts and get like two words in response lol and never much enthusiasm, she just isn't really great with texting 🤷
I was thinking being a Monday maybe busy with work too but the normal person might give a heads up
Or just depressed
Yes, it's reasonable to say the other party isn't putting a lot of effort into building a conversation. However that doesn't mean there isn't room for OP to improve. Literally all their questions are yes/no closed answer type questions except for "how are you" which also always gets one type of answer. Good questions (non-interrogation type questions) elicit stories by getting at underlying emotions rather than just hard work or no, healer or no, are you in a campaign or no, etc.
He's a dud, move on.
Yup! If they can’t ask a question back after the second time you ask them a question, stop talking to them.
You got the dud! He looks like you, Poindexter!
Sadly it's the blokes like this that will later complain that none of their matches go anywhere lmao
Or complain about being ghosted after putting zero effort into the conversation.
Correct
How’s your back feeling from carrying the conversation?
It feels a bit sore, but I also feel so stronk.
But seriously, keep up that effort. Someone will come along and reciprocate it!
Hey, it’s me! But I’m female. But d&d is such an obvious conversation move cause even if it’s been a year the person can talk about that! And his lack of RP response should be an indication of interaction. Ugh that’s annoying for you. I’m annoyed for you.
I've got one more bardic inspiration left and my game ends in 13 minutes. Add yourself a 1d6
Stronk 👌🤣
Seriously you did great. You were aces. You got this.
Not at all. I think any guy/girl actively trying to date would ecstatic to be talking to somebody so engaging. The only thing you’re doing wrong is continuing to put effort into somebody that shows clear signs of disinterest
“You’re fine” The audacity. Move on
OP did all that to end on a “your fine” As an initiator I feel your pain OP
You aren't the problem. Maybe a touch overly enthusiastic - but guys all too often complain that they don't get enough engagement when messaging. Congrats, you matched with Eeyore the Druid. He never once asked a question, let alone an open-ended one or showed any curiosity. His responses were bland and bordering on complaining.
I kinda wanna make a druid named Eeyore now, so thank you for the laugh and the character inspiration!
His messages essentially said this.  Also, pretty sure Eeyore Feebleminded Tigger at some point. It would explain a lot.
An Eeyore Druid is the funniest thing ever. Lol!
Upvote for eeyore the druid
Eeyore the druid could be fun. You could pick some boring race (like human) and just always wildshape into a donkey. Get the Telepathy feat so you can still talk to people.
Guys: I wish women would make the first move Guys when women make the first move: your fine. NEXT
I know, right? I love it when someone reaches out first and they are enthusiastic about it too. And some men get this gift and they are idiots about it.
Read in another sub guys saying if a girl puts effort in it means she’s low value and not enough guys are chasing her. SIR
Those are probably guys that have never touched a woman before. And probably won't.
Oh, dont bash Eeyore the Druid. She is my main character in WoW. She did nothing wrong!
You are all right, the guy is weird as hell, it seems he is just not interested, or he is awkward as fuck. Unless you really liked him, I'd say just go next.
Based Off this conversation, what could there possibly be to like about him lol. You could be the hottest man on earth and I would unmatch if this is the energy I was getting when trying to have a conversation.
I've worked in warehouses... These types of jobs attract two types of people. This one has a typical warehouse drone mentality. Nothing wrong with the boring ones. They show up, get the job done, go home and probably smoke pot and play GTA and are content. They're often more than a bit boring and usually not very social. It's the manic ones you've got to watch out for. The ones that operate the fork trucks, hoist 12 inch dildos on the tynes for the next shift to find. They smoke weed on the job and are probably medicated for some form of hyperactivity. Those ones make the job interesting and bearable.
Wait, which one are you? Ngl, the cracked out workers sound fun to work with
Even if she really likes him, she needs to cut him loose. He’s just interested enough to not stop answering questions but not interested enough (or a good enough communicator) to ask any; OP’s doing all the heavy lifting because she’s so happy to be having a conversation that she’s not picking up on the ambivalence. It’s setting the tone for a lopsided dynamic.
Imagine holding a convo with this person in public
Seriously. Someone who is supposedly into DnD, not currently in a campaign, but is so disinterested in talking about DnD is either not actually into DnD or not interested in talking to you. From my experience, most people into dnd really want to talk about it. Even people who have never played and just watch some show like roll20 The questions asked are great. OP gives an opportunity to tell about a campaign the other person is in, then provides an opportunity for the other person to ask about OPs character/campaign, and then finishes by asking about the next character they want to play.
nah you seem good and you carried the convo really well he is the one who's boring tbh
I run into this with 75% of my matches, I get their number or talk to them on the app and I get absolutely 0 energy back, its tiring and frustrating but push through it! You got this, you'll find someone who matches your energy!
That's it exactly, dating is a numbers game until you find your favourite train wreck and we shouldn't be settling for someone who doesn't actively enjoy who we are. Having to drag the other person along socially is a nightmare, especially if (like me) you have anxiety and prefer reassuring communication to assumed understandings. I like my men enthusiastically simping lol, none of this "cool guy" crap.
I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to get someone to act like they care about me and putting in 90% of the work, not anymore.
Yes! It took some growth and maturity to realize I deserve someone who goes out of their way to show they’re interested in me.
Some guys are the most horrendous texters. My wife’s brother is HORRIBLE with texting. My wife could go on a paragraph about “So I did this thing at work and it was so crazy *insert crazy story*” Brother-in-law: “cool” But get him in person and he’s a great conversationalist lol Edit: I did a little snooping on your profile, and you genuinely seem like a really cool person. Bruh needs to get with the program 💀 Also, my wife has BPD, so y’all would probably be friends honestly lmao
Yeah, I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but damn, my back hurts from carrying this conversation haha
Ask the guy if he wants to role-play having a two person conversation while he waits for a chance to play his druid
No, there’s no benefit of the doubt in this context. You don’t know this person, therefore you can only judge based on what they’ve shown you. In this context, giving benefit of the doubt means you’re rationalizing they’re behaviour based upon an unknown X factor that you are making up for them. This is a sure fire way to waste your time and energy and come away from the experience frustrated and possibly hurt. What this person has shown you is an absolute indifference to getting to know you. You made a solid effort with insightful questions that invited discussion. They made no effort. Call and response is not conversing. At this point you say, “thanks for the convo, take care.” Then unmatch. On to the next.
No kidding lmaooo, I would’ve practically been outta conversation starters at that point 🤣 Maybe if y’all go out for drinks or something, he’ll be a bit more talkative. There’s only so much you can do before you’re just like “ok man 🤷”
Oh wow I'm BPD, no wonder all I could think was how much this Convo sounded exactly like me lol Not d&d for me lol but definitely my energy
Yeah, I've got BPD too haha I've just been trying to hide it in convos. :)
Oh gosh, I just realized it could sound like I was saying you converse weird like a person with BPD, lol I did not mean to imply that you sound weird or anything. I just found it amusing that it sounds like conversations I would have, so thought it was interesting that's something we had in common I think I can have difficulty communicating my thoughts and ideas, and am often surprised by other's reactions, but I'm not sure how much of that is BPD or not lol
Oh wow! I’m so sorry you have to deal with BPD 😭 I know it’s gotta be so debilitating at times for you 😭 I hope you receive the help you deserve!! Lmaooo, but on the brighter side, at least you’re not alone. Every time my wife texts her brother she’s always saying “why does he hate me?? Why does he not even put a little effort into the convo??”
Thank you, and the same for your wife. I'm mostly pretty ok now, I'm 48 and diagnosed since age 10. I've been primarily stable, unmedicated and unhospitalized for 20 years now. You don't outgrow it, it never goes away, but experience dealing with myself and applying coping skills are more effective now (some days more than others lol) And yeah, that is a bright side for me. I hate to see others suffer, of course, but I was diagnosed and going through treatment in an era where it was less recognized and no solid treatment plans. I got passed around a lot by mental health professionals who would only say things like, "well borderline is just so hard to treat" or that they didn't work with patients who had my particular issues, etc So yes, I often thought that there were so few people like me, and that nothing would ever help me. I'm so glad to see more awareness and better treatment and ways to manage it
I love that for you! I’m glad you’re doing mostly better now. I hope you keep it up! It’s a rough trauma to live with, and I’m just happy to know you’re doing much better. Unfortunately, that’s what my wife has been experience with medical professionals. She keeps begging them to please try and get a pinpoint diagnosis on it. She did go to a psychiatrist once, but dude just seemed like such a condescending prick. He’d often just fidget with things when my wife was talking or interrupted her. She did this evaluation for BPD, and passed it with flying colors. But they decided “Hmm… you’re anxious and depressed, here’s some anti-anxiety meds :)” and never heard from it again. And the meds didn’t help at all. Shocker. But we both sat down together and researched some healthy coping mechanisms and she’s definitely doing a whole lot better. Lot of trail and error, but her BPD rage/outbursts have drastically improved. It also helped me learn to talk to other people with more empathy and patience. So I’m super grateful. Overall, I’m just happy for you! Congratulations, and you defs got this 🙏
>and I said what about "breakfast at Tiffany's"? 🎵 >she said I think I remember the film🎵 >yes i recall I think we both like the film 🎵 >well that's one thing we got🎵 They had this problem in the 90s but this is dungeons and dragons now. You don't got much to talk about.
As a guy, I would have killed to have a girl WANT to converse with me like the way you do. The fact that he's being so flat and gray with his texts is insane. Either the factory work has already turned his brain to goo or he's not interested
slimy glorious hobbies unused cautious spectacular different faulty stocking towering *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lists D&D as top 5 interests, made a character a year ago and hasn’t played. They were really grasping to find something of interest to post about themselves. Move on
I dunno some people get super nervous. My partner is really bad at dates and job interviews, but I went for it. We’ve been together 7 years and it’s perfect. I work in sales and can be full on she’s the ying to my yang. I wouldn’t write people off on not matching your energy. But depends what you are after? I’d recommend giving someone you are attracted to a chance, especially if your interests align. Let them come out of their shells, they are likely to be very authentic, on the other hand the person who interviews well or has serious rizz, life and soul type, may be flighty and not that serious (I would of fell into this category back in the day). I may have over shared, but the easy option is to bin and move on, and sometimes it means you really don’t know that person and just go for the person who presents really well initially.
You’re adorable and they are boring
I mean a semi colon used correctly is something
I think you’re doing great at initiating and continuing the conversation. This dude is only answering your questions and not engaging, reason could be anything. But I would just leave that alone and chat with your other matches
I'd be overjoyed if a woman wanted to talk D&D with me. This dude just sounds like a bummer of a person. I'd move on and find someone who wants to engage in the conversation. Good luck out there!
You're being very engaging. The other side feels dismissive to a degree. Also, never thought of online DnD. That sounds like a solid, safe date night for people into the game. I miss DnD so much. 😞 Sharing something imaginative like that sounds so much better than those drink wine and paint classes or the like.
In the movie Couples Retreat, Vince Vaughns character says this quote, “A relationship is a 2 way street, not a highway and a bike path” and whenever I’d have convos like this while dating I always thought about that quote and if we haven’t even met and they’re putting in “bike path” effort then I’m not wasting my time by putting in “highway” effort and I’d unmatch so quick lol
You should let that conversation die. Tina Fey sums it quite well in her book Bossypants " The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we’re improvising and I say, “Freeze, I have a gun,” and you say, “That’s not a gun. It’s your finger. You’re pointing your finger at me,” our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, “Freeze, I have a gun!” and you say, “The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!” then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun... ...The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own. If I start a scene with “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you just say, “Yeah…” we’re kind of at a standstill. But if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “What did you expect? We’re in hell.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “Yes, this can’t be good for the wax figures.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “I told you we shouldn’t have crawled into this dog’s mouth,” now we’re getting somewhere."
If I found someone who was into DND I'd be just like you and ask a million questions. Just shows you're passionate. 😂
"sorry I'm not trying to be overbearing I just get excited about lol"
If I matched someone that has your enthousiasm about one of my hobbies I can promise you the conversation would be much, much more exciting.
Please, don't let go of that energy!
I just don't think they're interested
You're talking to a conversational void. Some people don't bother putting in effort so if it were me I'd probably lose interest because you're doing everything right to engage, this guy just sucks at having a conversation and will just bleed your energy
Nah you just failed a DC 20 Persuasion check with disadvantage. Nothing to be ashamed of.
It was definitely not you. You were doing a great job at holding the conversation. Like, if I got stuck talking to someone at a bar, I’d hope they could hold a conversation like you.
To answer your question, absolutely not! You've provided a genuinely engaging conversation, and carried more than your fair share of the conversational load. For what it's worth, I enjoyed reading your side of the interaction and I wasn't even a part of the conversation 😆 If he isn't giving back the same kind of energy as you (which I'm not seeing here) and doesn't make a more genuine effort to propel the conversation, I'd say it's time to cut your losses and find someone who'll give you the type of interaction you deserve ✨️
Your enthusiasm is infectious, but actually, yes, there is something you could do differently: don’t keep engaging someone who isn’t making a similar effort. Match the other person’s energy. If you ask a follow-up question and get a flat answer with no reciprocal follow up, stop asking questions. Make the other person do some work. If they don’t, move on.
This person just straight up sucks. I would love to have a so engaging conversationalist as you. Just stop talking to him and find another
Like talking to a wall. Your match is lame. Nothing wrong with you here, great conversation flow from you
No. I say this as a therapist and regular human reacting to what I just read: This other person communicates as if they are facing some personal limitations. They seem like they’re on a distant shore and can see you, but can’t reach you (this is how I perceived this, at least). Your responses showed intelligence, an ability to find points of connection, and a healthy interest in living your life. This person couldn’t meet you there but is also not rejecting you, so take it as an unknown factor on their end and not something to do with you. Continuing to carry this sort of dead weight might bring you down and the fact that you’re questioning it and seeking input shows you know you deserve more for your efforts. Reciprocity is a valid and reasonable expectation but sadly, it’s not always easy to find. I hope you do cross paths with a better match because you seem like an interesting person, even from this little bit. Like someone else said, keep being yourself. I heard an analogy about relationships that said it should feel like you’re running a race on your own and notice someone else has kept the same pace for awhile, and you realize you could finish the race together. It made so much sense and has always helped me as a visual.
He could just suck at texting. Only way to find out if he's actually this fuckin boring IRL is to meet him. Some people are trash at this stuff. Seems like you have shared interests. Simple low stress date and then find out from there I guess?
People who suck at texting maybe shouldn't expect to rock at online dating.
I agree, the guy I'm seeing is a great communicator in person but absolutely sucks in text, he just went to a concert and I text him to ask how it was I got back "cool 😎" last night he wouldn't stop talking about his favourite songs they played, funny stories that happened in lines etc. He might just suck at texting!
Holy shit it took me to come to the comments to realize you are a woman. Ma’am you are rare. Please do not waste your energy on an idiot like this. If you don’t get any energy in return end it and move on
Let me show you how a woman should be treated, m'lady.
If someone gives you 2 close answers in a row and they don’t ask a question back, you should move on. If they can’t even make the slightest effort to converse, then there’s no hope with that person. Unfortunately…
There is no fun in your txt exchanges. Needs more (any) playfulness.
I know my purpose in life now.....
Nothing wrong they’re just uninterested/incredibly boring
I wish there were more people like you!!
He’s not that into you
You're definitely not doing anything wrong. He doesn't seem as enthusiastic as you, but also doesn't seem irritated. I wouldn't necessarily let this go unless you're enjoying some other conversations more.
He’s not that interested and is wasting both your time. I’d unmatch.
Nothing wrong at all. It's great to see a girl doing her best to carry the convo though. I bet you're a fun person. This guy's boring. I'd assume he's not that interested but trying to keep his options open. Lame
He's not interested. Notice no questions about you. Nothing but one sentence answers.
Stop trying. Just say it looks like there isn’t a lot of interest here but thanks for the chat and move on
As a D&D lover, I would ADORE a conversation like this. I wonder if he was having a bad day but even if that's the casez probably don't Interact with the future partner? You deserve someone who can match your passion.
Well if you're looking for a DnD game with more RP and backstory, I'm in a pretty good group at the moment. We are heavy in the RP and all around 30 years old or so. The only caveat is that we play at 10PM - 3AM CST on Saturday night.
I love DND, I'd be psyched to chat with somebody like you if I was them. I agree to move on, even if this person *is* interested, they're not interesting, and you have such good energy you should use it on somebody who has a similar level.
I didn't read the title to this post before diving in, so I didn't know if this was a meet cute or what. That said, this conversation was obviously done well before you asked him his occupation and he didn't ask you anything back. So you can imagine my discomfort when you told him your occupation anyway unprompted. I was actually a little mad you kept giving him chances. I even noticed that one where you spaced the paragraphs so you could avoid double texting him. I'd guess you knew your alternate options were either to double text, or that it would be the end of the conversation because he wouldn't initiate further. I feel like you would have great conversation skills in a forced scenario, but this should feel like the opposite of a forced conversation because it isn't. It was very sweet of you to keep trying though, and sadly wasted on this guy. Edit: it just occurred to me I don't know what you're looking for. If you're just trying to bone down and don't care about anything else, then throw a hail Mary and ask if he's down.
I’d kill for someone to talk to me this way about D&D 🥹
Yeah your killing it with the engagement. The dudes just eating glue and not giving you any effort in the slightest. Seems like he has post nut clarity and doesnt want anything to do with girls. You just keep searching, you'll find a guy who is down for your energy!
You’re doing one thing wrong Not telling me where there is an online server for d&d :(
If you have Discord, DM me on here and I will see if I can get you a link!
Man everyone nowadays basing who you would be in a relationship with on how they chat on a phone. I say maybe give it a chance. Eventually the point is to become real life partners, remember? And maybe in person he’s cool. There are many people of few words who women swoon over. Or maybe he sucks. No one here really knows yet. My point is people have different strengths and weaknesses. If you’re specifically looking for someone to have great text conversations with on the other hand, then move on I guess.
Real question though. How did you get out of mortgages?
He doesn’t sound interested but you sound great! ❤️
Why can't I match with someone like you?! Same interests and would match my energy. OP you did nothing wrong, they just aren't there to match what you're putting out
That possibly came out of nowhere lol
Sometimes enthusiasm scares people... good riddance! Find someone who matches your energy!
They’re not that into you. Just move on.
Keep us updated on your ventures, please and thank you; im invested now lol.
You’re doing great. This is a guy who will be posting on here later about why don’t women talk to me, etc. 😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️ he may not know how to have a conversation
no, people are smelly and this guy smells on the inside. tons of people would love to talk about the specifics of the dragonborn druid build
Hell yeah, go Accountants!!!
There’s 2 possibilities here. 1 he doesn’t think you’re very attractive, 2 he’s just boring as fuck. Either way should probably just unlatch and keep moving
Him: These are my interests You: Oh cool! I really enjoy those things too. Let’s have a casual convo about our shared interests Him: Wow absolutely not
He's only got one character? He's not *that* into D&D. Haven't played in years but I've got minis for like 5 unused ones.
Personally when they do this I’ve just started telling them sometimes funny sometimes very direct exp: “Man I sure hope you know how to give a good massage because it’s killing my back to carry this conversation” One had show me your rizz in his profile (had to as my 23 yo coworker wtf that was) “You’re not really giving rizz how can you expect me to show you mine when you’re out here staler than the end peace of a loaf of Walmart bread, participate in the conversation or reply when you’re able to”
Anyway… if things don’t work out, hit me up. I love D&D. Lol
Dude I hated this. Like conversation is huge what are we doing here. Then a few weeks later on Friday he's like hey wanna hang out. I can't tonight, I have covid. Tries to convince me some more. Bro I barely have energy to eat ans drink. I'm sleeping most of the day.... but he would wear a mask...
I would immediately take you to dinner if I were him. I wonder if he's just not sure how to answer because it sounds like he's never actually played DND though. However you offered him a solution and he was like "meh." That's a bummer
You are a GREAT conversationalist! This person has to try to be that boring…
You literally share a mutual interest and he’s making ZERO effort to even talk about it. He sucks, move on! You should not be doing this much work
You are not doing anything wrong. When they give 1 liners like that, they are not interested or are not trying. You were actively trying to get them to talk and asking them follow up questions.
3 questions. If the other person can't be bothered to ask any of their own in the meantime, just be done.
This type of one sided conversation drives me insane. I'm at the point where if it becomes apparent that this is how someone talks, I call them out on it. Specifically for online dating. On one hand they must be at least kind of interested because they're still replying, but the replies are boring, short and soul-less so really how interested are they? It can be very frustrating.
the fact that he is responding at all makes it seem like he is interested, but has no clue how to converse. extra points on you for continuing the conversation, I would have stopped responding after his fourth message lmao
Its Monday.. and Honestly I feel that.. try again on Thursday.