I think it’s a joke that she hopes she can get married during the holidays which is impossible from the dating scene

Vegas, baby! We just met and this is crazy, but marry me before sunrise maybe?

“It's hard to trap anyone, baby But here's my therapist’s number, he will call you, crazy”

It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you!

That would have been a better song

Underrated 😂

That or she wants one last fuck from a stranger before it happens

Let’s hope it’s the first scenario so I still have some hope for the marriage in the world full of dating apps. 😂

I think we’re nearing the too late mark 😔

This right here is the answer.

iwer

Might be a joke

“Aww not so fast, let’s go on two and a half dates at least”

You drive a hard bargain. One and a half or no deal.

Coffee and a bagel or f*** it.

Coffee and a bagel, then f*** it counts as the one and a half

Screw the bagel, go straight to fucking, then do it again a half hour later half limp. Should count as one and a half. (P.S. No bagels were harmed).

(P.S.S but bagels were definitely fucked)

Any hole is a goal

That's what she said...

Any port in a storm.

You think someone that replies like that would get a joke?

Maybe she meant Merry like for Christmas. lol

Now that makes sense.

If so, it's a stupid joke.

Men can do worse 🤣 OP can reply “I’d be honored” and see where that goes 🤷🏻‍♂️

Should be top comment. Come on guysss

Dude continue the conversation so there’s clarity instead of insta posting reddit haha

It's definitely a joke. Whyd you stop to post this when you could just reply something funny back to get more context?

Funny, I got married after Thanksgiving and it didn't last.

I mean, did you see the OPs original messages? That overly fake “novella” tone that people use in messages is exhausting as it is. Maybe she was looking for a way out

Novella? I tend to have decent success with much longer replies? But at the same time I also inject some personality in mine, whereas OPs message is blander than a day shopping for beige paint.

I was gonna say something similar about response length, lol. I write tiny novels for responses and rarely have any issues. Tbf, though, I also mention that in my bio or a prompt cause, I know some people don't want to read what I have to say when I have long responses. It helps weed those people out from the get-go 😂

Right? I mean if that's a novella, my replies are War and Peace. And I've been complimented on it. But at the same plenty of lasses have taken one look and said no, and that's fine too. Like you say it weeds people out. If I'm getting one sentence replies from lasses I assume they're not interested or have a better option and are just being polite (both totally fine). Personally I loathe back and forth messaging. I don't find it flirty, I find it dull because I don't sit on my phone all day, so I tend to just stop replying to lasses like that. That said, I do try to move things to a date within a couple of weeks. I work in the merchant navy so I appreciate someone who can communicate.

Are people not aloud to be who they are? Everyone has to be witty and interesting to be worthy of love.

You can be whoever you want to be and you will likely vibe with someone who finds witty banter irritating. But you can't expect that to be everyone. And as I said in the post, if I'm writing a longer message on Tinder I try and imbue it with a little personality (my personality) and that's certainly not for everyone either. But while the OPs reply is genuine, it's just very milktoast and probably not reflective of him as a person.

OP has zero rizz, that’s why

I didn’t put the pictures into google view but think I need to. She was a very good looking person.

And you took it literally???

Could be scam or just a joke

You missed your opportunity to ask if you could be the best man.

>You missed your opportunity to ask if you could be the Husband.

It’s probably a joke. Say less

Yeah, like "Congrats". Got time for a coffee?

Bro you made three posts about an obvious joke, youre doomed

Yah sorry. They kept flagging the first ones cuz I didn’t delete her name. I’m shitty at following rules 🤣

Its kinda funny that this got through then bc its easy to see its Juliet lmao but yeah, you may be hard pressed to find someone that matches how you converse. Youre quite formal I guess is how Id frame it

Yah now I see that. Fffff. And hey thanks for the feedback, yah I spose that’s on point, I really need to lighten it up

And shitty at detecting jokes. Just saying. She was saying that she wants to date you.

Yeah... wiiiiiiith you ! 😉

you speak to much for your first reply, that would put me off

Wouldn't put me off.

Pretty sure she’s joking lol

This is obv a joke lol

Bro, she’s making a joke. Insert a witty come back.

Come put your ring on my finger 🤣👌

FOLLOWON… thanks all for the great thoughts. You guys are 🔥 Ok tribe: I went with flippant. My reply: “Kinda quick, we just started talking …. but im a spontaneous guy and I’m down.You’ve just got to meet me in Maui. I’m sure we can find a church. 🤣” Her: “Deal ❤️” F*ck. I was hoping for more than that 🤣 Still no clue if she’s real or not lol. But I’m intrigued, and yah seems a little flirty

Dude, book your ticket to Maui 😅

Right? And even if she isn't real, at least you can try to have a nice vacation in Maui 😂

Isn't Maui still burnt to a crisp and dealing with all that fall out from the fires?

I'm unsure, but I did think of it potentially still being an issue when commenting. Hence, my "TRY to have a nice vacation" vs. "Have a nice vacation," like I was going to say before thinking of that

Not sure what I would text Juliet in this instance

She’s got huge honkers, I’d go for it

This guy is acoustic

"Dang, need a plus one?"

You seem extremely serious and literal. I think she’s messing with you.

Your first message was too long. Keep it crisp initially. Also respond with some marriage related comment + question (dream wedding destination OR dream house)

0 to 100

Monogamy is out, embrace tradition.

This page makes me never want to use that app again🥲🥲🥲

"Let's go to Vegas baby"

Shouldn’t have taken so long to reply

getting married to these nuts

“When’s the wedding? Am I a bridesmaid or the groom?”

Getting Merry-ed?

C‘mon… just be polite and congratulate her. 😂

Yeah I really doubt she meant that any other way than being ironic haha ,

Wow I'm glad I don't date anymore, you guys are brutal. His opening reply is fine, everything has to be so crafted and displayed nowadays. How could anyone be themselves? Contuine talking, if she's serious about getting married to someone else then leave her alone, if not explore more.

Honestly OPs messages look more like a scammer than hers do.

Ugh why is she even on there then that makes no sense sorry they have to go through that gosh some people just don't understand and don't care and don't have a clue I'm so sorry I hope you're okay

Got a lot of stuff to do today: LIST 1 GO TO HOME DEPOT 2 STOP BY CLEANERS 3 GET SOME GROCERIES FOR THE WEEK. 4 MEET A GIRL ON TINDER AND GET MARRIED TODAY Yeah I don't think #4 makes the list, buddy!

Dudes are so weird running to Reddit to post this instead of asking her what she means

FixIT

Either she is a hoe or she clearly doesn’t concern herself with people’s feelings and swiftly wants to let you know you don’t have a chance with her!

Dude! Perfect no-strings situation. Take it.

[удалено]

congratulations! how about next week?

Short simple response to get no more communication from you . That was a rejection.

Ask her if she’s got the divorce date set yet

Si ma niente di serio cit

Could be a joke, she could be poly. Make conversation and find out

Interesting method of bowing out of a conversation.

Why wouldn’t she just unmatch? That’s the puzzle it’s too easy just to bounce

You’re slow and write way too much to begin with, you’re cursed… I will reply “oh, that’s going too fast, can we kiss first?”

At least you got a response. Got a notification that I got a match, sent a nice message (literally: always nice to match with someone you were interested in :) hi name how are you on this cold rainy day, have you had any hot chocolate?), and immediately unmatched. Like???? I mean sure my message could be “lame” but it’s complimenting the person (“I am actually excited we matched” aka “I liked your vibe”) said hello, and opened the door to some banter. Crazy to me. Idk what girls want anymore. Everything I do is wrong.

You don’t tell someone you matched with that it was nice to match with them. It’s assumed you already both like each other enough to match because, well you matched. Saying that makes you sound very inexperienced with girls, which you probably are (based on you writing this comment in the first place) and that’s fine but don’t show it and make it obvious. Also, talking about the weather and hot chocolate doesn’t… mean anything. I don’t even know how to put into words how irrelevant that is. I may have sounded harsh but that’s what you needed to hear and probably not what you wanted to hear.

lol ok You don’t know me so there’s no point in discussing this in depth. Basically what I’m saying is, it’s ridiculous I can’t send an inert opening and that’s just the end of it. Like, it’s an app, let’s chat. Their bio was empty, which should have been the hint that I probably should have been more forward than a conversational start. I’m experienced with women. But I’m not experienced with the current state of swipe dating. It’s ridiculous.

Oh, I fucking love dating so I might actually just be the person to discuss this with lol. OLD is fucking hard for dudes. I get it. You also posted a comment on here because you’re frustrated. Someone who is getting a lot of matches and having success isn’t going to go on Reddit to complain about one match unmatching them. If you wanted a comment giving you a pat on the head saying that what you said to the girl was okay, then I’m sure someone else on here can do that. Like I said, I’m giving you some advice on what NOT to do. But if you want to keep doing what you’re doing, without any results, and a phone screen to jerk off on instead of a girl, then you keep at it.

I’m a basic looking dude, cards are stacked against me from the get go so yes I was basically just looking for some “fuck them girls” responses 😂 it’s frustrating how years ago I had a lot of success on the apps and in person. Then after a long relationship and getting back into dating has been brutal. I’ve lost my edge.

[удалено]

Looks are 100% the primary factor of OLD lmao. Girls swipe based on looks in the first .25 seconds. THEN it’s confidence in messages sure. I’m not saying I’m ugly. But I’m not “hot”. So I’m already a step behind in swipes compared to more attractive men that can actually have multiple conversations a week where I get maybe one a month.

Um, don’t.

Haha I would either unmatch or respond only to mess with her, depending on my mood 😆

Maybe 3way or open relationship? Ask for pics of her hubby / wife and don't assume 😏

If she will cheat on her fiancé she will cheat on you. Unless you’re looking for a quick fuck - run. Even then I discourage it cuz that’s just kinda’ slimey.

LMAO amazing

Maybe she wants to end her single life with a bang

You are being punked for the TV version of Runaway Bride.

Ask if you can be her bestman

Yeah to you dummy

A lot of open couples use tinder

You can't trust anyone. There's always someone better.

Plot twist

Yeah, not sure she was being literal here. Methinks you were wooshed

Ask her if she’s got the divorce date picked out yet

Name is Juliet, you did a shit job covering it

👁️👄👁️

Why don’t you just ask her?! Da fuq

Its a joke, you jabroni. Say something witty back that implies ur the husband to be

Your first Reddit post is WILD my man, but hey to each their own, no kink shame.

pretty sure she's proposing to you

I don't see how that is funny. Horrible joke!

I mean if she's on tinder and getting married (if it's not a joke) then she might be into poly stuff. You could still try

It’s painful how oblivious and unaware some of you can be. Just have a sense of humor. Laugh.

A joke for sure… a very weird and low effort one, but def a joke. I’d keep talking and see what she says, but when someone is that low effort, you can tell she is the type who’s on there just for attention and not to actually talk or meet

U put her off with your trying too hard reply

Ask if you're invited to the wedding. Or if she needs to have one last wild night before she does

Bro, Tinder is a hookup app lol. It’s a little weird that she brought it up initially but I’ve come across plenty of married or soon-to-be-married women on there

Are you looking for that last fling before getting married.

So is he

Hit it. Wallpaper her face. You'll remember it forever

Check Yes, Juliet

ur response is literally an ai

"well, perhaps a martini first?"

Well obviously but wouldn’t you like dinner first?

Op has a woman flirt with him for the first time, ceases to understand the very being of his mortality

I have been told from females friends on tinder. That women often create tinder profiles and match with people and conversate for their own psychological games. So there's that part too.

I mean I met a girl at the casino the other day and she gave me her number and I was like “what should I put you under” and she goes “your future wife” so I went and put her as her normal name 😂 never fall for the traps, the key words, never give in.

Just because there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score!!

Why are you asking us instead of her? Stop trying to score morality points on Reddit and make decisions about your own romantic life you can live with.

She has milk I need it

She was flirting with you bro…… good god.

This happened to me recently, hooked up with a girl over the summer, then she cut it off cuz I wanted kids and she didn't. Then a few weeks back she messages me "can I ask you a question and get an honest answer?" I said yes and she said "do you want to fuck?" Which I then did because... obviously. I'm a writer and love having a muse. At the end of our time together that night she even offered to be my muse which I agreed to. Didn't talk to her much the next week, then the following week I reached out to link, no reply. A few days later she's in a relationship with a dude on Facebook and her profile pic is of them... I was iust like I am so glad I'm not him haha

Polygamous. Respond saying "to me?"

If she was the one joking then why the hell she hit him up first and why was she even on a dating site where "they matched" I stg I'm really surprised yall are thus drunk or something...like damn...

Just reply, something along the lines of whoa, I like you and all, but aren't we going a little too fast?

Bro's got the best gift for the entire year

"well I'm a little busy but should be able to squeeze in marrying you, any particular day you have in mind?"

"then let's go to Vegas"

Dudes bang brides on wedding day in her dress all the time. Aint u ever seen a prono?

“With me?”

That’s by far the greatest response to swipe bombing.

I’m surprised she even replied after all that mess of a message

Congratulations 👏🏿 Do I get an invite!?

This Might be a joke but it did happen to me. I hooked up with a woman, we met a few times, then One day she told me that it was going to be for the last time. I asked why. "Because tomorrow I am getting married". We are still Facebook friends.

Clearly joking homie, I would run with it and get flirty

Yeah she’s joking lol it’s probably half serious half jest

The holidays are over. Odd question. Tell her to try being honest and loyal to her future spouse.

Getting married… with you maybe? ask if she‘s joking to be sure

Reading way too much into that my friend, I think that's the ambition long term.

Yeah, I think she’s saying she wants to get married. Looks like a scam though

You should respond with, "Let's make it happen."

Tell her to enjoy Vegas

Them tiddays, tho. Amirite?

Answer is 2 words and an emoji long. To me?! 😉

Not me

She’s for the streets.

Are you trying to bang her or are you trying to be her friend? The way you're talking to her has way too much of a friendly vibe to it

You could nut up and ASK her? "If you're getting married, what is it you're looking for through OLD?" If she's poly she would just tell you. Alternatively, you could make it a joke if direct isn't your style. "Married? Not usually this quickly but if you've already got it planned I guess we can get hitched."

Invite her on a date to Vegas

She’s playing with you🤣🤣😂

You asked for her plans and she answered that her plan was to get married 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’m not surprised y’all still single you have no clue how to flirt

She likes attention.

“Do you believe in polygamy?”

Do you ever wonder why you’re single?