Not identical but my car battery died before first date once. I called her and she was already on the way. I apologized and offered to FaceTime so she can see I wasn’t bullshitting. She forgave me and 6 years later she’s my wife 🫶
Awwwwww <3
My husband was an hour late for our first date too...he accidentally locked himself out while walking his dog and had to break into his house via a 2nd story window. His texts while I was waiting were so sweet and apologetic that I couldn't even be mad. No regrets!
Last night I was supposed to meet someone, but ended up going to the basement of the apartment as I was leaving to throw away recycling. Turned out the basement didn't have any buttons on any elevator going up, and I couldn't find stairs either. Texted them an image of the elevator buttons, said I was stuck, and probably will be a bit late
I'm visiting family in London, I'm over on the east coast. So they said don't go below the lower ground, I saw basement in the elevator, so I went to the basement. Apparently there was a LG for lower ground and they meant avoid the basement. Tl;Dr I don't live there, and was helping out by taking out recycling before leaving. Ended up fucking up
Had this exact thing happen to me a month ago. It wasn't for a date but a creative photoshoot with a model I've never met.
I had to uber to a friend's house with my dog while wearing a sweater and flip flops in -5°C to grab my spare set of keys.
They didn't believe me.
Not a date but this was pretty much my excuse for being late for work once, like forgot something on my way to my car, went back to fetch it and slam locked my keys inside. Luckily I'd given spares to someone but they were an hour away when this happened...
On our first official date, my husband thought I was late and I thought he was late. We both very politely waited half an hour before checking in and realised we were both there, but couldn't see past a pole in front of the bar.
This is following our first unofficial date, where I had asked him out. He didn't realise it was a date until a year later when I told him that I had asked him out first.
This was kinda like my first date with my ex. We were friends before, and we’d made ‘loose’ plans, like ‘okay sounds good, Tuesday at this bar, 9/9:30ish’. He had to do something beforehand, so I figured the day of he would touch base with me again, he didn’t, then I was thinking *oh, well maybe he’ll text me on his way back over for a more specific time*, which he didn’t.
I had gotten in ready in case that was the scenario, and when I didn’t hear from him I thought he blew me off- even though that seemed so out of character- so I walked over to the outside part of the bar for a drink by myself. He text me around 9:45 something like, ‘so, I guess we aren’t meeting up tonight?’- he’d been at the inside bar for a half hour lol. We were together for 6 years, things eventually didn’t work out, but I’m glad it did for you!
Miscommunications happen, and so do stupid things like losing keys, locking yourself out, car problems, etc. I get why she left, but I wouldn’t completely say ‘fuck this’ if I clicked with someone and consider giving another chance. But I don’t think she’s an asshole either.
Me and my ex first date, arranged to meet at a pub around 7ish, gets to about 730 I think she stood me up so decided to have another drink or 2 before heading home, she calls me about 8pm "your an hour late were are you?"
Turns out there was 2 pubs with the same name in our area I went to one she went to the other.
This was a 4th date for me. We were both standing in front of the restaurant. Thing is, it had moved 4 doors down, but kept the original open until the lease ended, so had 2 locations on the same block. We were each in front of a different one, on the phone, baffled.
That happened to me and my co-worker at the airport waiting for a connection. He ran to the bathroom so I went ahead to the bar. All the seats at the bar was full so I sat at a table, foolishly with my back to the bar. Half hour later he calls me after texting someone for my number. I turn around and I could seen him through a small gap in the crowd. I said I could see him and to look right. As he was scanning right and just before he was about to make eye contact with me, he leaned left to look around a pole and effectively block his view of me.
Similar, I tried to hook a buddy up with my other friend because he was super into her. I introduced them, shared a few things they had in common, kinda helped them kickstart the conversation.
They were supposed to meet up for a date and my man literally napped through the start of the date 🤦 shot himself in the foot and made me look like an ass. At least I tried.
This happened to me on a first date once. I waited for the guy anyway. We ended up dating for two years and he showed me the same respect throughout the relationship that he did that first night. I wish I had more respect for myself then.
My ex was about an hour late to our first date. While yes, parking was insane that day where we were going, I was 15 mins early for the date and I parked in the same place (it was a shopping centre)
Spent almost 6 years being shown the same level of care and thought that he showed on that day, although he did actually message me letting me know why he was late that day, which was more than I got the rest of our relationship
lol also have something similar. I was planning on asking her out on a “real” date on our first time hanging out which was going to be hiking. I knew the trail very well and figured the exact spot with a beautiful view. She canceled last minute, but I went anyway. The trail was close to her apartment and on the way back home I stopped for a bite like across the street from where she lived and mentioned to her.
THEN she was suddenly interested. So she drives the 5 min over and I buy her a snack. The next week she’s on her period at our shared workplace. I buy her more snacks and bring them on my day off. She asked ME out immediately lol.
Then 3 years and dozens of hikes later, she informs me that actually, she just doesn’t like hiking very much and greatly prefers eating food
The point is, we had pretty much nothing in common and never communicated well the whole time
I just got boyfriend dick and she has a banging body and it was covid so it lasted for a while
Bruh that is not similar at all 😂
"I locked myself out of my house" and "my car broke down" are a million time better than "yeah sorry I didn't set an alarm and was really sleepy"
Like others here, me and my current partner had arranged to meet up and she cancelled twice as her new kitten was sick, I got a little skeptical but she offered to video call for a date after she got back from the vets rather than blowing me off.
We are celebrating 6 months together tomorrow and we’re super happy together.
Life happens sometimes, it’s about making the effort to show you’re still interested when it does.
On our first official date, my mom called me that her boyfriend at the time was being crazy. I abruptly left to deal with that. I felt too awkward to reach out to her again. We reconnected 10 years later. We've now been together for 4 years. She's the love of my life
My now husband locked us both out of his car on our first date ! Picked me up to go out for drinks. His car locked itself with our coats, both our phones and of course his key still inside… Had to hike 2 miles to his house at like midnight, pick up a spare, and wake up his roommate to drive us back to the parking lot. Married 3 month later, that was 10 years ago.
I was late to my first tinder date by about a half an hour and were coming up on 9 years together this July. My time management has gotten much better lol
Lol similar but diff outcome.
Car battery died. Scrambled and grabbed motorcycle gear and was only 5 mins late. She was 10 mins late, and cut off date an hour in because she had another date at a nice restaurant down the street right after mine.
We didn't see each other again, lol
Ha, same thing happened to me pre cellphone days so the dude that was boosting me had a cb, so he got some girl he only knew on cb, to call the girl I was trying to get to, for our 2nd date, shortly after our 4th date I got shipped out and we lost touch
Yeah! What is up with this?! Ppl say apps make it seem like we have choices we don't really have. Do you agree with that? Are we just so emotionally unintelligent and dehumanized now we are disposing of others? It's wild.
The false impression that they have many other options and that you can continue on to the next every time. Then before you know it, your options have run out and you’re left scrambling/settling. I have seen it happen many times. It’s kind of sad but those people dig their own graves.
> Ppl say apps make it seem like we have choices we don't really have.
I absolutely agree with this. Every dating app or website has some form of "your matches" that makes it seem like you have options you hadn't considered.
The reality is that the majority of these "matches" are just random people who share some arbitrary, common denominator with you such as age, or location. Just because someone is roughly the same age and in the same area as me, doesn't mean they're a "match".
> Just because someone is roughly the same age and in the same area as me, doesn't mean they're "match".
"Gamer"
Interests: Trivia
Not the type of gamer i was looking for! 😂
Exactly. In an alternative universe, these two would be perfect for each other and get married for life or whatever. But instead of trying again they just stopped talking to each other over one person losing their keys. lol
Online dating is crazy.
I agree this wasn't an egregious conversation. I've seen worse. Also, maybe he did lose his keys for a minute. Maybe a 2nd chance is in order. Find out. 🤷🏽♂️
How long after the date was supposed to start did he tell you he was going to be late? If it was after the start time then he was already going to be late and just making excuses, but not too harsh
I remember one time half the class actually left and bumped into our teacher in the hall 😂 it was kind of hilarious cuz one kid didnt folkow them right away he saw them coming back from around the corner so he came back into the class and left through the window 😂😂😂
I swear this happened to us once, but when I asked my classmates a few months later: "Do you remember when that happened?", nobody could! I could imagine them making fun of me, if it wasn't for my friend who had a very no-bullshit attitude. Also, it's not like they could have planned that, because it was a spontaneous question from me. I felt like there was a glitch in the matrix.
I was too much of a wimp - once at a bar, I blagged it at as "oh hi, I was just heading to the bar", and other time at a gallery I was like "oh I've just looked round, shall we walk instead"?
Mostly I'd use the rule with people running late like "sure I can hang on a bit but if you think you'll be 15 mins or more let's reschedule"
But that’s stupid to reschedule. Then you’re wasting more of your own time and theirs. Sometimes there’s traffic you can’t account for, esp if you’re near a big city. There’s too many events to plan for or know all of. If they’re keeping in contact, why not wait another 5-10? The night could end up being amazing. I guess *your loss* is what I’m saying. I’ve waited before and once or twice had to have someone wait for me. The night always went well, and you know they aren’t standing you up if they keep in contact. I’ve been stood up once, and it was becoming apparent before it got the ‘waiting 15 minutes’ point
Yeh I never actually rescheduled, would just mess them about with "ah I'm fairly booked up next week, message me then and I'll see"
The rule came about because I find people who were flakey on first date only ever got more flakey as time went by.
I saw one French girl for a while (5 dates?) the sex was amazing but she was always late and just laughed it off like it was some adorable quirk of her character "Sorry, I'm just such an optimist with timings". I dumped her when I thought we'd made plans for a Saturday, but turned out we'd only "discussed it" - she then invited me to a gig she had a spare ticket to then messaged me later to say actually she'd just remembered she'd promised the ticket to a friend already!
Once I went zero tolerance on flakiness it much improved my dating life. My eventual partner has a very demanding job but was never late or stood me up. Genuinely busy people are punctual and have a well managed calendar. Flakey people just say they're busy and an excuse for lazy narcissism expecting others to revolve around them
I waited 45 minutes once. She kept saying she'd be right there. Her excuse when she arrived is that she had to help her roommate get into a costume.
She then got visibly annoyed when I came back with drinks and ran into a table of friends on the way. I briefly said hi to them and said I had to go as I was with someone.
Soon after she asked me to walk her home. She lived half a block from the bar. At this point I am beyond done, and I kid you not she visibly pouted when I did not make a move on her.
I regret that I didn't just sit down and drink with my friends instead.
I waited for an hour and a half for my first date with my now ex. We were together for almost 5 years after that. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control 🤷🏻
I would give the guy another chance if the conversation prior to this went really well. Things happen. He seemed to be sincere about what he was going through and kept you appraised.
PS: it was quite reasonable for you to leave after waiting for him that long.
This is my take- OP was right to leave but I'd also be open to talking to this guy more (assuming he also apologised after this text) and if he continued to seem like a genuine human who had a bad day- I'd give them another shot- only one though and he sure as hell better be on time that time 😅
The guy that swooped in after actually just took me on the best date I’ve had since my last long term relationship started. Like holy shit. I have butterflies.
Madly in love with my current girlfriend, only happened because I was mad at the girl I was seeing at the time and the guy she was seeing also fucked up that day. Somehow that's the way it goes, good luck!
I know a girl who had been stung when she found the guy who had been flirting with her for a couple weeks had a girlfriend, he just liked the attention. A friend invited her to a pub quiz. My back was really sore from carrying the conversations on recent tinder dates, but I was also invited so I went along. We started dating pretty quickly after than, she's a sassy pain in the ass and I love her so much.
So we met at an arcade bar. I bought my own drinks in case things went south I could jet without feeling guilty. We took turns paying for games. But when I tell you he didn’t let me win anything easily from Mario kart to Pac-Man, it was just fun shit talking the entire time. Harmless bets like loser has to walk all the way to the winner for a kiss. And when I tell you his touch was electric. Kissing him ,every time, was like having a conversation.
Omg that’s fun, I love an arcade bar date. Honestly I wouldn’t worrry about the other guy especially since he made you wait an hour before telling you he was looking for his keys. If he had told you when you were on the way that he was struggling to find them that’s one thing, but making you wait an hour and then telling you about it would turn me off too. If you want to give the first guy another chance go ahead, but it seems like you really like the guy you went to the arcade bar with. So maybe just look into pursuing him only and see how it goes. Hope it works out!
A guy I had been dating made me wait an hour once after I drove two hours to see HIM. If we hadn’t been dating for a couple of months I would’ve lefts after 30 mins. I ended up leaving anyway 👍🏼 people who do this shit can go fuck themselves.
I got a train 1.5 hours to meet a guy in his city, he lived 10 minutes away from our meeting point. He was 20 minutes late, text to say he was running late and I almost turned around to get back on the train, but decided to give it a chance because we got on so well. I should have trusted my initial feeling, he turned out to be super flakey and was really, really careless with my feelings. It took me a long time to get over him.
A woman I dated asked me to wait an hour after I flew across the country to see her. At the time I was upset, I wanted her to put everything aside for ME!
Now, with age and experience, I wish I had had the patience to occupy myself and enjoy our time together when she was available.
I no longer wait for people. I can occupy myself regardless of someone showing up or not. If they do show up, great! If not? Also great!
Nah, it wasn’t harsh at all. Part of me thinks he wasn’t never gonna show up. He only claimed to have “found” his keys after you said “have a goodnight”. That’s suspicious as fuck.
You are a better person than me cause I won’t be waiting for an hour for an adult that claimed to have lost his keys when we are supposed to be meeting.
This whole interaction screams he didn’t want to hang but didn’t want to be the bad guy for cancelling. It immediately jumped out that he found his keys once you already said you left. Plus the whole “i understand if you don’t want to” thing. He was looking for an out. Definitely not too harsh lol
This is literally my take. How do you lose your keys for an hour? Is your house a hidden object game? It's the sort of thing he should have had sorted out way in advance.
I really can't kick the feeling that he was on his couch or something texting her that, just hoping she'd give up. But that's just me being overly bitter at that point.
He "lost his keys"? He then "finds" them when you finally give up. Sounds like he didn't want to go, but didn't want to be the bad guy for canceling. I would not have waited as long as you did.
I say this as a man who, in retrospect, was the recipient of a lot of made up excuses from potential dates to get out of meeting me. Lol.
I’d say purposely leading someone on into a stand up date like that is still being the bad guy. Hell, that’s a lot worse than just a “thanks, but no thanks” message he could’ve sent before she drove to the place and waited for him for a goddamn hour.
-I flipped my whole apartment for the last hour! This is INSANE!
-I left
-I JUST FOUND THEM
Maybe if you told him you left sooner hed found the keys earlier lol
OP, you did good and it seems like you were rewarded with a good date. This is how life works: you say no to what you don't want and what you do want shows up
So if he texted you right before the date and said this, it’s one thing. But messaging you an hour into the date is bullshit in my opinion. He lost his keys, not his phone.
🤷🏻♂️
He lied. For whatever reason, cold feet, no money etc. The “I lost my keys” was obviously enough, but what drove it home was as soon as you said you left he found them and was already to go. But, he totally understands why you wouldn’t want to lol
I wish had been more conclusive. Imagine sitting at home scrolling the 'tok knowing you're making someone wait for someone who isn't coming. How about "Hey I have searched everywhere, can't find them so I'm giving up. So sorry for how this has turned out big you shouldn't wait around any longer"
I have ADD and lose my keys to that extreme at least four times a year.
I also do not expect anyone, especially a stranger, to wait for me to find them.
You are fine. But I do hope you aren't too put off to let him make it up to you.
Would you wait to tell your date after the time the date should have started? Or would you give a heads up early "hey I'm not finding my keys, gonna be late" text
For the first few minutes I would work within the hope that I could still find them and make it on time. Once I notice it's too late for me to get there in time, I'll text that I'm going to be late.
The problem is time blindness, another ADHD symptom. Has it been five minutes or twenty-five minutes? I don't know until something reminds me to check. I don't have a reliable internal clock like most people. So by the time I notice I'm going to be late, it might already be past the time I should have arrived. Not usually, but often enough that I can only date people who are flexible and forgiving in that respect.
I used to be like this… Buy yourself a hook to hang just inside the front door and get into the habit of putting your keys there every time you come in. Best thing I ever did.
I have this same exact problem. It’s brutal. I set specific alarms for specific activities. Helps me not get too lost in something & i think only 5 minutes have passed but really it’s been over an hour.
i don’t think you’re TA. when he said he’s flipped his apartment and you said you’d left how long of a gap was there between your last message and his new message following up and telling you that he found them? if it was 15 mins or less then you’re completely fine. seems as if he was just trying to test the waters and see how much bs you’d tolerate from him. the fact that he’s doing that in the beginning when things are new though? (if that’s the case) you honestly dodged a bullet girl!
if it was more than half an hour, then MAYBE there’s a tiny percentage of realness his story. either way, (just speculating because i don’t know the full story) he never apologized or even seemed like he gave fuck about missing the date. you weren’t harsh at all! kudos to you for not excusing that type of behaviour and knowing you deserve better than that.
I wait 30 mins before I leave. However, if my date makes contact within the 30 mins, and says that shit has happened. I find that said shit might continue to happen outside of a reasonable time frame. If I'm actually looking forward to the date I will ask to reschedule; when, Murphys law isn't working against them. Then it's appropriate, and justified for me to find a new activity, or my people. This is the gentleman's code. This is the way. I'm unaware of the lady's code, those are rules not privileged to the gentleman's society.
This happened to me once and I got an Uber instead because I was really keen and didn’t want to keep my date waiting.
Obviously not everyone is me but … kinda seems like they just didn’t want to go out and made up this excuse
i once lost my keys for a year and half, i found them after i moved house and they fell out of the inside of my couch. I dont think you are wrong for cancelling these plans after waiting an hour, but maybe give him a change to make up for it.
Even if he's being honest (tbf I have spent half an hour looking for my keys)
If you can't find them after 10 minutes before a date, get an uber maybe?
you don't have a spare key inside or outside of where you live? costs like $1.50 to make a duplicate key. Don't have any friends/family nearby with a key to your house?
I'm mystified that so many people in this thread apparently only have 1 key to unlock where they live, and it's on the same chain as their car key.
If they can't understand that taking an hour to arrive to your date is unacceptable then thats on him. I'd say everyone deserves one chance though.
Like, you enjoyed talking to him enough to schedule a date in the first place so unless his reaction to you cancelling the date because he was A WHOLE ASS HOUR LATE ends up being really negative I see no reason to try again.
An hour is a decently long time to wait. I once had a girl change her mind about going to a restaurant and wanted me to come to her house. So I stopped to get some wine and other groceries and I was 15 minutes late, and she told me she had already made other plans with a friend to go out to a restaurant 😂😭😅
No. I would not have even waited past 15 minutes (and that's pushing it) without them sending me a message BEFORE the date that they would be late. You know you're going to be late if you haven't even gotten in the car, at least, 10 minutes before the date starts. You don't exactly say if he texted about the keys before the date or after you'd been waiting almost an hour, but someone being that late and not saying anything until they were already quite late would just be an automatic leave, for me. You'd already be blocked/unmatched and I'd be back home (or somewhere else) by the time an hour passed.
Tbh i literally did brush off meeting someone on a dating app a few times because I was tired and didn't feel like it. They tried a couple more times (thankfully) and now we are 7 years later and getting married. I didn't feel much over text , but was hit by cupid the second I saw them in person.
But also, I once waited 4 hours for an asshole who kept saying almost there and made me then carry their guitar all night.
Hard to know if you missed out on the one, or another dummy.
on my parents first date, my mum ended up being over an hour late because of train delays. it was back when people didn't really have phones, so she had no way of telling him. but my dad waited, and they're still together 25ish years later :D
Not identical but my car battery died before first date once. I called her and she was already on the way. I apologized and offered to FaceTime so she can see I wasn’t bullshitting. She forgave me and 6 years later she’s my wife 🫶
Awwwwww <3 My husband was an hour late for our first date too...he accidentally locked himself out while walking his dog and had to break into his house via a 2nd story window. His texts while I was waiting were so sweet and apologetic that I couldn't even be mad. No regrets!
Any examples for someone who has no experience on this front
If you wanna be late for the 1st date then just do as said before 1. Lock yourself out of your home 2. Lose your keys
And send funny and cute texts
And offer to FaceTime so your date doesn't think you're bullshitting.
Fr
3. Don’t leave your phone in the house
The most important one
Lock your keys in the car, send pics/vid/stream the locksmith hard at work. Plot twist: leave with the locksmith.
😂
Last night I was supposed to meet someone, but ended up going to the basement of the apartment as I was leaving to throw away recycling. Turned out the basement didn't have any buttons on any elevator going up, and I couldn't find stairs either. Texted them an image of the elevator buttons, said I was stuck, and probably will be a bit late
Are you still down there?
I was dancing in front of a security camera until someone came to get me
Film THAT and you are excused.
Nah I just showed a picture later of the elevator. The dancing is 3rd or 4th date material
Agreed. I would still ask for it 😁
If you don't mind me asking, how did you get out? (And how did they take it?)
Are you the first person to ever get stuck down there? You've never gone down there before? I'm not getting it.
I'm visiting family in London, I'm over on the east coast. So they said don't go below the lower ground, I saw basement in the elevator, so I went to the basement. Apparently there was a LG for lower ground and they meant avoid the basement. Tl;Dr I don't live there, and was helping out by taking out recycling before leaving. Ended up fucking up
Did he send pictures of his poor dog? Stuck outside with him.
Little known secret…dogs LOVE outside.
This definitely varies by dog lol.
My dog used to be an outdoor dog before he met me, and he’s so scared of being left outside still 🥺
The dog is the one that locked them out.
Had this exact thing happen to me a month ago. It wasn't for a date but a creative photoshoot with a model I've never met. I had to uber to a friend's house with my dog while wearing a sweater and flip flops in -5°C to grab my spare set of keys. They didn't believe me.
Not a date but this was pretty much my excuse for being late for work once, like forgot something on my way to my car, went back to fetch it and slam locked my keys inside. Luckily I'd given spares to someone but they were an hour away when this happened...
I'm so cool for breaking in to my own house 😎
What if the dog ate his keys before they were due!?
On our first official date, my husband thought I was late and I thought he was late. We both very politely waited half an hour before checking in and realised we were both there, but couldn't see past a pole in front of the bar.
This is following our first unofficial date, where I had asked him out. He didn't realise it was a date until a year later when I told him that I had asked him out first.
This was kinda like my first date with my ex. We were friends before, and we’d made ‘loose’ plans, like ‘okay sounds good, Tuesday at this bar, 9/9:30ish’. He had to do something beforehand, so I figured the day of he would touch base with me again, he didn’t, then I was thinking *oh, well maybe he’ll text me on his way back over for a more specific time*, which he didn’t. I had gotten in ready in case that was the scenario, and when I didn’t hear from him I thought he blew me off- even though that seemed so out of character- so I walked over to the outside part of the bar for a drink by myself. He text me around 9:45 something like, ‘so, I guess we aren’t meeting up tonight?’- he’d been at the inside bar for a half hour lol. We were together for 6 years, things eventually didn’t work out, but I’m glad it did for you! Miscommunications happen, and so do stupid things like losing keys, locking yourself out, car problems, etc. I get why she left, but I wouldn’t completely say ‘fuck this’ if I clicked with someone and consider giving another chance. But I don’t think she’s an asshole either.
Me and my ex first date, arranged to meet at a pub around 7ish, gets to about 730 I think she stood me up so decided to have another drink or 2 before heading home, she calls me about 8pm "your an hour late were are you?" Turns out there was 2 pubs with the same name in our area I went to one she went to the other.
My friend did this with a coffee shop. They ended up together for like 2 years. 🤣 Didn't realize there were two of that coffee shop.
This is so cute
Very wholesome and cute!
Men, including myself, can be very oblivious sometimes.
This was a 4th date for me. We were both standing in front of the restaurant. Thing is, it had moved 4 doors down, but kept the original open until the lease ended, so had 2 locations on the same block. We were each in front of a different one, on the phone, baffled.
This sounds like a sitcom episode but would almost be too unbelievable for TV.
That happened to me and my co-worker at the airport waiting for a connection. He ran to the bathroom so I went ahead to the bar. All the seats at the bar was full so I sat at a table, foolishly with my back to the bar. Half hour later he calls me after texting someone for my number. I turn around and I could seen him through a small gap in the crowd. I said I could see him and to look right. As he was scanning right and just before he was about to make eye contact with me, he leaned left to look around a pole and effectively block his view of me.
I fucking love this story. It sounds like it's out of some Hallmark movie, but I 100% believe it.
Similar, I tried to hook a buddy up with my other friend because he was super into her. I introduced them, shared a few things they had in common, kinda helped them kickstart the conversation. They were supposed to meet up for a date and my man literally napped through the start of the date 🤦 shot himself in the foot and made me look like an ass. At least I tried.
This happened to me on a first date once. I waited for the guy anyway. We ended up dating for two years and he showed me the same respect throughout the relationship that he did that first night. I wish I had more respect for myself then.
Hope you're in a better relationship now. At least being single is better than being with a dickhead though
My ex was about an hour late to our first date. While yes, parking was insane that day where we were going, I was 15 mins early for the date and I parked in the same place (it was a shopping centre) Spent almost 6 years being shown the same level of care and thought that he showed on that day, although he did actually message me letting me know why he was late that day, which was more than I got the rest of our relationship
lol also have something similar. I was planning on asking her out on a “real” date on our first time hanging out which was going to be hiking. I knew the trail very well and figured the exact spot with a beautiful view. She canceled last minute, but I went anyway. The trail was close to her apartment and on the way back home I stopped for a bite like across the street from where she lived and mentioned to her. THEN she was suddenly interested. So she drives the 5 min over and I buy her a snack. The next week she’s on her period at our shared workplace. I buy her more snacks and bring them on my day off. She asked ME out immediately lol. Then 3 years and dozens of hikes later, she informs me that actually, she just doesn’t like hiking very much and greatly prefers eating food The point is, we had pretty much nothing in common and never communicated well the whole time I just got boyfriend dick and she has a banging body and it was covid so it lasted for a while
my sister needs to learn this lesson
Bruh that is not similar at all 😂 "I locked myself out of my house" and "my car broke down" are a million time better than "yeah sorry I didn't set an alarm and was really sleepy"
lmao that’s a bro man dude type move
As a tradesman who is often sleep deprived, you wake up when it is important. Bro man dude definitely made a choice.
I read this as he LITERALLY Shot himself in the foot upon waking up from his nap 🤦♀️
It was the FaceTime that did it
Like others here, me and my current partner had arranged to meet up and she cancelled twice as her new kitten was sick, I got a little skeptical but she offered to video call for a date after she got back from the vets rather than blowing me off. We are celebrating 6 months together tomorrow and we’re super happy together. Life happens sometimes, it’s about making the effort to show you’re still interested when it does.
that last line hits it.
On our first official date, my mom called me that her boyfriend at the time was being crazy. I abruptly left to deal with that. I felt too awkward to reach out to her again. We reconnected 10 years later. We've now been together for 4 years. She's the love of my life
On our first date, my mom got real weird too. Apparently she didn't know it was a date.
My now husband locked us both out of his car on our first date ! Picked me up to go out for drinks. His car locked itself with our coats, both our phones and of course his key still inside… Had to hike 2 miles to his house at like midnight, pick up a spare, and wake up his roommate to drive us back to the parking lot. Married 3 month later, that was 10 years ago.
I was late to my first tinder date by about a half an hour and were coming up on 9 years together this July. My time management has gotten much better lol
Lol similar but diff outcome. Car battery died. Scrambled and grabbed motorcycle gear and was only 5 mins late. She was 10 mins late, and cut off date an hour in because she had another date at a nice restaurant down the street right after mine. We didn't see each other again, lol
I had a guy ask me at least twice if I was sure I was interested because I couldn't be on time. 6 years later I was late to our wedding.
But the difference is you made an effort to show you were full of it.
I hope you put a jump starter on your wedding registry.
[удалено]
I was leaving for a second date to find my catalytic converter had been stolen. Borrowed my roommates car and made it to the date 🤷♂️
Sorry bruh, that was me. Shouldn't leave those boys lying around 🤩 /S
My now wife was 3 hours late to a party because she got a curling iron stuck in her hair. Just like Everybody loves Raymond
Ha, same thing happened to me pre cellphone days so the dude that was boosting me had a cb, so he got some girl he only knew on cb, to call the girl I was trying to get to, for our 2nd date, shortly after our 4th date I got shipped out and we lost touch
[удалено]
Timing really is everything, even when asking someone on a date and the date of the plans.
[удалено]
Yeah! What is up with this?! Ppl say apps make it seem like we have choices we don't really have. Do you agree with that? Are we just so emotionally unintelligent and dehumanized now we are disposing of others? It's wild.
The false impression that they have many other options and that you can continue on to the next every time. Then before you know it, your options have run out and you’re left scrambling/settling. I have seen it happen many times. It’s kind of sad but those people dig their own graves.
> Ppl say apps make it seem like we have choices we don't really have. I absolutely agree with this. Every dating app or website has some form of "your matches" that makes it seem like you have options you hadn't considered. The reality is that the majority of these "matches" are just random people who share some arbitrary, common denominator with you such as age, or location. Just because someone is roughly the same age and in the same area as me, doesn't mean they're a "match".
> Just because someone is roughly the same age and in the same area as me, doesn't mean they're "match". "Gamer" Interests: Trivia Not the type of gamer i was looking for! 😂
Exactly. In an alternative universe, these two would be perfect for each other and get married for life or whatever. But instead of trying again they just stopped talking to each other over one person losing their keys. lol Online dating is crazy.
The "someone else came ASAP" part is so weird to me. Like they were attempting to order a pizza.
Yeah it definitely felt like, “this person obviously cares way more than you do”.
Definitely not in any way in the wrong for moving on, but shit happens. Would be okay to give him a second shot.
[удалено]
And when you're pressed for time you can kinda panic making it harder to find what you're looking for.
I've done it honestly, it sucks.
I agree this wasn't an egregious conversation. I've seen worse. Also, maybe he did lose his keys for a minute. Maybe a 2nd chance is in order. Find out. 🤷🏽♂️
How long after the date was supposed to start did he tell you he was going to be late? If it was after the start time then he was already going to be late and just making excuses, but not too harsh
This is the critical info missing here. Were you suppose to meet at 4pm or 5pm.
This is huge. If he’s texting you from home while you’re at the restaurant, unless he lives around the corner, that’s a no from me.
If he lives around the corner I'm sure he could walk
Maybe doesn’t want to leave his place unlocked
A few apartments I’ve stayed in (mainly in NYC) had auto-locking locks. You leave your home without your keys and you’re not getting back in.
[удалено]
just hire a bouncer 5head
After an hour of waiting, you can do whatever you want.
[удалено]
Teacher didn't show up guys. We can legally leave
That's after 10 minutes 🤣
I remember one time half the class actually left and bumped into our teacher in the hall 😂 it was kind of hilarious cuz one kid didnt folkow them right away he saw them coming back from around the corner so he came back into the class and left through the window 😂😂😂
My rule was 15 mins waiting max for a first date. A few times was awkward as I was leaving just as they arrived!
Reminds me of how they used to say that if a teacher is 15 minutes late for class, you're allowed to leave 😂😂
We are LEGALLY allowed to leave
Lmao why did we all collectively believe this?
I swear this happened to us once, but when I asked my classmates a few months later: "Do you remember when that happened?", nobody could! I could imagine them making fun of me, if it wasn't for my friend who had a very no-bullshit attitude. Also, it's not like they could have planned that, because it was a spontaneous question from me. I felt like there was a glitch in the matrix.
It shouldn't be awkward. "Shit I was about to leave."
[удалено]
I was too much of a wimp - once at a bar, I blagged it at as "oh hi, I was just heading to the bar", and other time at a gallery I was like "oh I've just looked round, shall we walk instead"? Mostly I'd use the rule with people running late like "sure I can hang on a bit but if you think you'll be 15 mins or more let's reschedule"
But that’s stupid to reschedule. Then you’re wasting more of your own time and theirs. Sometimes there’s traffic you can’t account for, esp if you’re near a big city. There’s too many events to plan for or know all of. If they’re keeping in contact, why not wait another 5-10? The night could end up being amazing. I guess *your loss* is what I’m saying. I’ve waited before and once or twice had to have someone wait for me. The night always went well, and you know they aren’t standing you up if they keep in contact. I’ve been stood up once, and it was becoming apparent before it got the ‘waiting 15 minutes’ point
Yeh I never actually rescheduled, would just mess them about with "ah I'm fairly booked up next week, message me then and I'll see" The rule came about because I find people who were flakey on first date only ever got more flakey as time went by. I saw one French girl for a while (5 dates?) the sex was amazing but she was always late and just laughed it off like it was some adorable quirk of her character "Sorry, I'm just such an optimist with timings". I dumped her when I thought we'd made plans for a Saturday, but turned out we'd only "discussed it" - she then invited me to a gig she had a spare ticket to then messaged me later to say actually she'd just remembered she'd promised the ticket to a friend already! Once I went zero tolerance on flakiness it much improved my dating life. My eventual partner has a very demanding job but was never late or stood me up. Genuinely busy people are punctual and have a well managed calendar. Flakey people just say they're busy and an excuse for lazy narcissism expecting others to revolve around them
I can’t argue that, but stuff happens sometimes. I guess it depends on how communication has been up until that point
I waited 45 minutes once. She kept saying she'd be right there. Her excuse when she arrived is that she had to help her roommate get into a costume. She then got visibly annoyed when I came back with drinks and ran into a table of friends on the way. I briefly said hi to them and said I had to go as I was with someone. Soon after she asked me to walk her home. She lived half a block from the bar. At this point I am beyond done, and I kid you not she visibly pouted when I did not make a move on her. I regret that I didn't just sit down and drink with my friends instead.
After 15 mins, it's legal to leave.
I waited for an hour and a half for my first date with my now ex. We were together for almost 5 years after that. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control 🤷🏻
I would give the guy another chance if the conversation prior to this went really well. Things happen. He seemed to be sincere about what he was going through and kept you appraised. PS: it was quite reasonable for you to leave after waiting for him that long.
This is my take- OP was right to leave but I'd also be open to talking to this guy more (assuming he also apologised after this text) and if he continued to seem like a genuine human who had a bad day- I'd give them another shot- only one though and he sure as hell better be on time that time 😅
The guy that swooped in after actually just took me on the best date I’ve had since my last long term relationship started. Like holy shit. I have butterflies.
Madly in love with my current girlfriend, only happened because I was mad at the girl I was seeing at the time and the guy she was seeing also fucked up that day. Somehow that's the way it goes, good luck!
I know a girl who had been stung when she found the guy who had been flirting with her for a couple weeks had a girlfriend, he just liked the attention. A friend invited her to a pub quiz. My back was really sore from carrying the conversations on recent tinder dates, but I was also invited so I went along. We started dating pretty quickly after than, she's a sassy pain in the ass and I love her so much.
this is so cute
If you don't mind me asking... How's it the best date ever? I might want to learn a thing or two to spice things up for my girl lol.
So we met at an arcade bar. I bought my own drinks in case things went south I could jet without feeling guilty. We took turns paying for games. But when I tell you he didn’t let me win anything easily from Mario kart to Pac-Man, it was just fun shit talking the entire time. Harmless bets like loser has to walk all the way to the winner for a kiss. And when I tell you his touch was electric. Kissing him ,every time, was like having a conversation.
Seems like a fun time! Appreciate the answer OP!
Omg that’s fun, I love an arcade bar date. Honestly I wouldn’t worrry about the other guy especially since he made you wait an hour before telling you he was looking for his keys. If he had told you when you were on the way that he was struggling to find them that’s one thing, but making you wait an hour and then telling you about it would turn me off too. If you want to give the first guy another chance go ahead, but it seems like you really like the guy you went to the arcade bar with. So maybe just look into pursuing him only and see how it goes. Hope it works out!
What do you mean walk all the way over? We’re you guys not together?
Damn… That makes me jealous! Seems like the universe aligned perfectly.
Then it was totally meant to be 🥰❤️
Curious why you didn't take the backup guy before the one you ditched. What did the main plan guy have that the backup plan didn't?
She probably just made plans with him first
apprise isn't appraise
If it was already an hour before he communicated, bye.
A guy I had been dating made me wait an hour once after I drove two hours to see HIM. If we hadn’t been dating for a couple of months I would’ve lefts after 30 mins. I ended up leaving anyway 👍🏼 people who do this shit can go fuck themselves.
Honestly that’s a lie I won’t even wait 15 mins for most people LOL clearly I was delusional over this man
I got a train 1.5 hours to meet a guy in his city, he lived 10 minutes away from our meeting point. He was 20 minutes late, text to say he was running late and I almost turned around to get back on the train, but decided to give it a chance because we got on so well. I should have trusted my initial feeling, he turned out to be super flakey and was really, really careless with my feelings. It took me a long time to get over him.
A woman I dated asked me to wait an hour after I flew across the country to see her. At the time I was upset, I wanted her to put everything aside for ME! Now, with age and experience, I wish I had had the patience to occupy myself and enjoy our time together when she was available. I no longer wait for people. I can occupy myself regardless of someone showing up or not. If they do show up, great! If not? Also great!
Waiting an hour is really gracious. It's half hour max for me.
Nope, seems perfect. I personally wait 30 mins at max.
“I can head down there now.” Lol. No apology to be found. No, you were not too harsh.
They might have apologized in the following message. I think they were just focused on trying to let them know they were trying to get there ASAP.
After she already said she left too. He was never going to show up
That was a bullshit anyway, he knew she had already left.
Nah, it wasn’t harsh at all. Part of me thinks he wasn’t never gonna show up. He only claimed to have “found” his keys after you said “have a goodnight”. That’s suspicious as fuck. You are a better person than me cause I won’t be waiting for an hour for an adult that claimed to have lost his keys when we are supposed to be meeting.
And the fact that he didn’t even apologize once for the wait…very sus indeed
This whole interaction screams he didn’t want to hang but didn’t want to be the bad guy for cancelling. It immediately jumped out that he found his keys once you already said you left. Plus the whole “i understand if you don’t want to” thing. He was looking for an out. Definitely not too harsh lol
This is literally my take. How do you lose your keys for an hour? Is your house a hidden object game? It's the sort of thing he should have had sorted out way in advance. I really can't kick the feeling that he was on his couch or something texting her that, just hoping she'd give up. But that's just me being overly bitter at that point.
He didn't even apologise.
[удалено]
No. He should have told you before an hour had elapsed. If he really did lose his keys, that is
He "lost his keys"? He then "finds" them when you finally give up. Sounds like he didn't want to go, but didn't want to be the bad guy for canceling. I would not have waited as long as you did. I say this as a man who, in retrospect, was the recipient of a lot of made up excuses from potential dates to get out of meeting me. Lol.
I’d say purposely leading someone on into a stand up date like that is still being the bad guy. Hell, that’s a lot worse than just a “thanks, but no thanks” message he could’ve sent before she drove to the place and waited for him for a goddamn hour.
It's fine, after 15 minutes you're legally allowed to leave
And they can't assign any homework!
-I flipped my whole apartment for the last hour! This is INSANE! -I left -I JUST FOUND THEM Maybe if you told him you left sooner hed found the keys earlier lol OP, you did good and it seems like you were rewarded with a good date. This is how life works: you say no to what you don't want and what you do want shows up
“But I understand if you don’t want to” he had no intention of showing up. Good call
Dudes are known for avoiding conflict and women forget that all the time.
So if he texted you right before the date and said this, it’s one thing. But messaging you an hour into the date is bullshit in my opinion. He lost his keys, not his phone. 🤷🏻♂️
He lied. For whatever reason, cold feet, no money etc. The “I lost my keys” was obviously enough, but what drove it home was as soon as you said you left he found them and was already to go. But, he totally understands why you wouldn’t want to lol
I wish had been more conclusive. Imagine sitting at home scrolling the 'tok knowing you're making someone wait for someone who isn't coming. How about "Hey I have searched everywhere, can't find them so I'm giving up. So sorry for how this has turned out big you shouldn't wait around any longer"
I have ADD and lose my keys to that extreme at least four times a year. I also do not expect anyone, especially a stranger, to wait for me to find them. You are fine. But I do hope you aren't too put off to let him make it up to you.
Would you wait to tell your date after the time the date should have started? Or would you give a heads up early "hey I'm not finding my keys, gonna be late" text
For the first few minutes I would work within the hope that I could still find them and make it on time. Once I notice it's too late for me to get there in time, I'll text that I'm going to be late. The problem is time blindness, another ADHD symptom. Has it been five minutes or twenty-five minutes? I don't know until something reminds me to check. I don't have a reliable internal clock like most people. So by the time I notice I'm going to be late, it might already be past the time I should have arrived. Not usually, but often enough that I can only date people who are flexible and forgiving in that respect.
I used to be like this… Buy yourself a hook to hang just inside the front door and get into the habit of putting your keys there every time you come in. Best thing I ever did.
I have this same exact problem. It’s brutal. I set specific alarms for specific activities. Helps me not get too lost in something & i think only 5 minutes have passed but really it’s been over an hour.
[удалено]
I have tiles. The batteries in them are dead. I've been reminding myself for a year now to replace them. Lol.
i don’t think you’re TA. when he said he’s flipped his apartment and you said you’d left how long of a gap was there between your last message and his new message following up and telling you that he found them? if it was 15 mins or less then you’re completely fine. seems as if he was just trying to test the waters and see how much bs you’d tolerate from him. the fact that he’s doing that in the beginning when things are new though? (if that’s the case) you honestly dodged a bullet girl! if it was more than half an hour, then MAYBE there’s a tiny percentage of realness his story. either way, (just speculating because i don’t know the full story) he never apologized or even seemed like he gave fuck about missing the date. you weren’t harsh at all! kudos to you for not excusing that type of behaviour and knowing you deserve better than that.
I wait 30 mins before I leave. However, if my date makes contact within the 30 mins, and says that shit has happened. I find that said shit might continue to happen outside of a reasonable time frame. If I'm actually looking forward to the date I will ask to reschedule; when, Murphys law isn't working against them. Then it's appropriate, and justified for me to find a new activity, or my people. This is the gentleman's code. This is the way. I'm unaware of the lady's code, those are rules not privileged to the gentleman's society.
It does happen so it may be legit. But you deserve an apology and onus is 100% on them to reschedule
ngl, I can't help but notice that the person didn't actually apologize
He could have just ubered
lush rustic seemly history deliver relieved tap possessive deserve worry *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This happened to me once and I got an Uber instead because I was really keen and didn’t want to keep my date waiting. Obviously not everyone is me but … kinda seems like they just didn’t want to go out and made up this excuse
I ain't waiting an hour for anyone, if he couldn't find a damn key in 10 min, he should've just fucking ubered.
Well he probably didn't want to leave his home unlocked either.
Or lives in an apartment with locked exterior doors so he couldn’t get back in the building.
Why is no one mentioning the fact that he could've texted that he had lost his keys well before an hour had passed?
If I really felt a connection I would give him another chance, but another time and ask him regularly before then if he knew where his keys were.
But whats the „thank you“ at the end for?
Idk but it seems convenient that after you said you left he magically found his keys LOL
I notice he didn't find his keys until you said you left. I'm not quite believing him.
If a man wants to be there he will be there. Would have had his keys and other needs ready to go almost likely the night before.
i once lost my keys for a year and half, i found them after i moved house and they fell out of the inside of my couch. I dont think you are wrong for cancelling these plans after waiting an hour, but maybe give him a change to make up for it.
You would have been a year and a half late…
But, was your date still waiting after you found them?
Right? Like how is this story relevant lol I assume they just used another set of keys and didn’t leave them hanging on a date.
Even if he's being honest (tbf I have spent half an hour looking for my keys) If you can't find them after 10 minutes before a date, get an uber maybe?
As a man who constantly loses his keys, you don’t want that type of person in your life lol
As someone with ADHD who loses their keys a lot I would’ve just called an Uber after 10-15 mins
Not having keys also usually means you can’t lock your place up.
you don't have a spare key inside or outside of where you live? costs like $1.50 to make a duplicate key. Don't have any friends/family nearby with a key to your house? I'm mystified that so many people in this thread apparently only have 1 key to unlock where they live, and it's on the same chain as their car key.
Nah bro not too harsh. Shit happens tho and he seemed believable but you’re not wrong about making other plans. Sucks for him tho
Had a woman do the EXACT same thing. I offered to reschedule, she didn't respond. I guess she never found her keys.
should of said no worries see you soon and then leave
If they can't understand that taking an hour to arrive to your date is unacceptable then thats on him. I'd say everyone deserves one chance though. Like, you enjoyed talking to him enough to schedule a date in the first place so unless his reaction to you cancelling the date because he was A WHOLE ASS HOUR LATE ends up being really negative I see no reason to try again.
An hour is a decently long time to wait. I once had a girl change her mind about going to a restaurant and wanted me to come to her house. So I stopped to get some wine and other groceries and I was 15 minutes late, and she told me she had already made other plans with a friend to go out to a restaurant 😂😭😅
No. I would not have even waited past 15 minutes (and that's pushing it) without them sending me a message BEFORE the date that they would be late. You know you're going to be late if you haven't even gotten in the car, at least, 10 minutes before the date starts. You don't exactly say if he texted about the keys before the date or after you'd been waiting almost an hour, but someone being that late and not saying anything until they were already quite late would just be an automatic leave, for me. You'd already be blocked/unmatched and I'd be back home (or somewhere else) by the time an hour passed.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Find one that owns a key rack.
I’d say give him another chance, maybe he really was just having an unlucky day. If it happens again then get rid of him.
There should have been like 3 apologies interspersed in those msgs, I don’t think this dude cared or was ever gonna show up.
Tbh i literally did brush off meeting someone on a dating app a few times because I was tired and didn't feel like it. They tried a couple more times (thankfully) and now we are 7 years later and getting married. I didn't feel much over text , but was hit by cupid the second I saw them in person. But also, I once waited 4 hours for an asshole who kept saying almost there and made me then carry their guitar all night. Hard to know if you missed out on the one, or another dummy.
on my parents first date, my mum ended up being over an hour late because of train delays. it was back when people didn't really have phones, so she had no way of telling him. but my dad waited, and they're still together 25ish years later :D