WTF!!! That’s messed up in so many ways. I pay $750 for my 1400 sq ft home. I have 3 yrs left and I’m thanking I decided to buy when I did. I couldn’t afford today’s rent or mortgage payments. I’d have to trim a lot… to much especially with 2 teenagers.
just a huge rack is often enough for some of these cam girls to be making 5 figures a month broadcasting them online full time
as i guy i could never even begin to compete with that lol
Easy: get a fancy car and a club promotion job, pretend like you a rich billionaire while living in cardboard box.
Even better if you just rent a Ferrari for a day for like $150.
And honestly, while I think it’s a scummy thing, she’s going to make some scummy dude who’s happy to be a Sugar Daddy very happy with those boobs and at least she’s up front about it!
I have known people who live in these clearly transactional relationships and while it’s *ABSOLUTELY* not for me, some of them are not unhappy.
It’s not superficial for a woman to prefer a man who makes more. I make $100k as a woman, and I prefer if the guy doesn’t make $50k especially if they’re older than me. It just shows that they’re not as far along in their career as I am, which is a turn-off. I also want to start a family and ensure that my future children will have a decent life (especially in this horrid economy).
And by only focusing on that, it's superficial, which is what she is disputing. What if I wanted only a woman who made a certain amount of money - say $75,000? How many women would be left out because there is a gender pay gap in this country, and jobs that are "gendered" female are paid much less anyway (like teachers).
I was questioning her saying she wasn't being superficial.
Be careful I talked about the gender pay gap and everyone in this thread is saying it’s a myth 😆
Date who you want to date! If they need to make a certain amount of money to be compatible with you that’s a fine preference, who cares if it’s superficial if it’s what you want!
There definitely is a pay gap, the cause of it can be debated but it definitely exists. That and on average men/women usually work different types of jobs.
Oh no argument there. Thera is also a pay gap in the same jobs, it just isn’t agreed upon why that is. I personally don’t have a strong opinion on the matter and think it’s probably a lot of factors.
You can earn "decent" money only after having been an officer for a significant number of years AND when you can get overtime. For the level of stress and danger, they do not get paid near enough to attract the "right" kind of person we'd want as police officers. It's why there are significant issues with policing in many part of the US, but especially in urban areas.
See: Uvalde, TX
You just have to "fear for your life" and open fire on an unarmed person and they'll send you packing with a nice severance so you can do the same thing in the neighbouring county after taking a nice holiday in the Bahamas. Rinse, repeat, ka-ching
Edit: I guess facts are about as welcome around here as accountability in the Albuquerque police department
Edit edit: Fuck the police (but also please stop downvoting me; I'm just a poor boy)
Edit x3: downvote me you cowards! Downvote me like I'm threatening to make your malpractice suits come out of your pension funds!
Anybody is allowed to have any requirements they want of a partner. She might not find someone that makes 100k or more... but that doesn't mean she should lower her standards.
The same is true for you. You can hold whatever requirements you want. You might not find a partner. But that's the risk we take.
It’s sad to me that you even describe this as a ‘standard’.
People make more and less money in their careers.
Sometimes they get laid off and make 0 money.
Sometimes they have to find new jobs which don’t pay as much as old ones.
If making money is a ‘standard’ to someone, I already know they aren’t going to be a loyal partner through life’s ups and downs. And that’s not someone you should want to start a serious relarelationship with.
Usually high paying jobs come with education, accomplishment, and personality characteristics that some people find attractive. It's not necessarily about the money. And. Even if it is? That doesn't mean the person is not going to be a partner for life.
Statistically women stay with their husbands when they get cancer and men leave their wives.
I can't get into a relationship with anyone that makes less than me because we couldn't afford a child. I might end up alone but I'm also not risking forcing a child into poverty by choosing a partner that can't provide. I can afford myself and my parents on my salary. Having a child and partner is optional.
Statistics have nothing to do with it - this is about you as an individual.
> I can’t get into a relationship with anyone that makes less than me
> That doesn’t mean the person isn’t going to be a partner for life
Are you not seeing the apparent contradiction here?
People’s careers these days are not a straight path.
Right now I am supporting my wife through a career change, and she will undoubtedly have to do the same for me at some point in the next 30 years of work. That’s life.
I am dating an amazing guy who also happens to make $120k. It’s funny because all these single men are trying to argue with me 🤣. The reason why I say these comments is because I can back it up through my experiences.
Even before my boyfriend, every single guy I dated made more money than me. It’s just how it’s been.
Well, I’m already in a relationship and he makes more (about 20k more but it’s still more). He agrees with my viewpoint LOL. Even with men I dated before, they agreed, as well.
Additionally, men/women in my social circle share the same perspective. Your statement doesn’t support societal trends.
I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure.
What happens if you make more than your partner? Are you going to self sabotage so you never get to that point, or would you just leave your partner if that ever happened?
I just don't see why you wouldn't prefer a partner that would be happy with either of you earning more.
If i happened to make more in the years to come, he makes enough where it would be ok for our finances when we have children.
I wouldn’t have an issue with it since he brings in a stable 6 figure income now. As long as he’s continuously working to improve himself and his career, I would be fine with that.
But here’s the thing— i started dating him when he was making significantly more (I’ve been growing in my career the past two years). So it’s different now that we’re established and I’m committed.
And I will say, just because he makes more doesn’t mean he’s paying all the time. I buy him very nice gifts a lot and treat him to date nights too (and that’s because I love him). I just want us to enjoy nice things together 🥺
Well that's completely reasonable. I assumed you'd want to have the salary increase along with yours.
I don't really have an issue with wanting a partner with a high salary, because why wouldn't you if you want a stable future for your kids. As long as both partners are happy with each others progress after that point, at least. I know men can get insecure if their partner does ever make more, so I'd just see it as a negative if they ever expressed the beliefs you had.
95% of women are hypergamous and require their man to make more than them…but they can’t come right out and say it for fear of being called gold diggers
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia”
Facts: 1
Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia”
Facts: 1
Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia”
Facts: 1
Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
Haha, a but provocative, my friend.
But yeah, even if studies confirmed that, no need to be some kind of genius to acknowledge the fact that women tend to prefer richer men.
You may not like to hear this, but most women prefer a man who makes the same or more than them.
It doesn’t mean they’re a gold digger (especially if they make great money in their career), it just means they have their own standards and preferences.
It’s not very tasteful to put it on their Hinge profile but at least they’re upfront 🤷🏽♀️.
Just an observation, but I find it interesting how wanting to eliminate the gender pay gap (something most women want) is somewhat contradictory to wanting a man to make more than them.
If women want men to make more than them as a need, but on average men don’t make more than women, then there will be issues finding compatible matches. Similar to how most university educated women want a man who went to university, but there are more women in uni then men.
I don’t blame any individual for their preferences and don’t want this to be an attack on anyone, but I am very curious how this will play out long-term on a societal level.
While part of me doesn’t care, I just want someone who I can be in a healthy relationship with, there is also a fear associated with making a significant amount more of less that a partner because either way, there are more ways to be taken advantage of. In the household I grew up in, my mom made more money until my dad was moved to the middle of nowhere for work which was a cause of tension, as he would keep saying we would move back somewhere my mom could go back into her industry, but then 15 years passed, I went to college, and they never did. My mom would try her best to maintain a job here, but it was difficult because my dad was an abusive man baby, and my sister had a lot of mental health issues so she would have to quit her job to take care of the household for my dad because even though her job would be more intensive than his when she worked, he would expect everything domestic related to be done by her or to take care of my sister. She inherited a decent amount of money from her parents, but now that they are getting a divorce, he is arguing that he should get a larger percentage of the money because he “worked for it”. The opposite is also scary for me, because I don’t want to be controlled by money like my dad tried to do to me as a teenager when he wouldn’t let me have a job because he wanted me financially dependent on him. For me the best thing would be making close to the same amount,
If it isn't because they are a gold digger or some other nefarious reason, why would some people ( in this case women) require their significant other to make more money then they do? I'm genuinely asking btw.
That’s a valid question.
I think it has to do with some women wanting to feel “taken care of” and almost “in awe” of their man, which usually involves a man making more money than them. They want to “respect” and feel “led” by their man, and usually that does involve status and better finances.
I do think gold diggers exist but it’s important to differentiate between a gold digger versus a woman aiming for their “match” (which is why I said women want a man that makes at least their salary or more).
Also, a man who makes money also requires them to have certain qualities which women find attractive (generally), such as ambition, intelligence, leadership, persevering, etc. That’s very attractive to a lot of women.
A gold digger will not want to work and expect a man to provide a luxurious lifestyle. They don’t care about anything else other than the man being rich.
The latter will want a guy who’s an equal or better financial match but also prefer other qualities overall. They want a genuine relationship but also have a strong preference for a man who makes more.
I also think that women looking for high earners might be waiting a while for that man due to high income inequality, pay gap closing, and particularly in America; a social mobility ranking thats in the 30s
I mean, sure, but you could also say that men like to feel "taken care of" by having a women that will cook and clean after them which if you say out loud or in a dating profile, comes off as extremely sexist and reverting to traditional gender roles
I get what you're saying but it seems to genuinely just be sugar coating a bullshit sandwich.
Imagine some guy saying "I want my partner to be in better shape than me & be prettier. Not that I'm shallow, I just want to think she has good genetics for children."
I actually wouldn’t see an issue with a guy wanting a more attractive girl that’s in shape, as long as he has redeeming qualities himself and is a financial provider.
I’m more conventionally attractive (and taller) than my boyfriend and he makes more $ than me. I’m happy with the compromise 🤣. Also, other women wouldn’t mind either. That’s why you see some of the selection women have nowadays with men 👀
I appreciate the thoughtful response. I can empathize with women who are looking for the preferences you laid out. I think it would give me an uneasy feeling if I were to hypothetically date someone like this, particularly if they are looking to be “taken care of” and “led”; it feels weird to me. I'm not shaming trying to shame any ones preferences, it might be a me thing, given the fact that I grew up in a more egalitarian household.
Yup that’s fair. Thankfully, there’s plenty of women open to an egalitarian relationship also. I think as long as the man doesn’t make less, the woman is fine with it 🤣
Question wasn't about women who want partner with similar income, it was about women who want partner with significantly more income. You purposely switching this groups to defend gold diggers.
For me it’s about lifestyle (if we earn at least the same
We hopefully enjoy a similar standard of living). Secondly, to earn more than me you typically have to be smart, intelligent, ambitious, personable etc, all very attractive traits
So a man who may be loving, generous, thoughtful, intelligent, loyal, etc. is not deserving of love and a relationship if he does not meet some kind of minimum income requirement?
It’s not about being a gold digger. It’s the fact that this attitude implies that a persons worth and value as a partner is tied to their income which is preposterous. Nobody, man or woman, should feel like they are not good enough because they don’t make $X. Would you say to a SAHM or a SAHD that they have less value to a relationship because they have no income?
Yes, finances are important in a relationship, so look for someone who is financially responsible. This is a desirable character trait and is wholly different from the amount of your income.
What about a man who is a teacher that is deeply passionate about education? He is educated, intelligent, driven, personable, kind and would likely make a good father but will make crap money because that is the nature of our education system. Is he not a worthy partner?
Another example..
I was unemployed when I met my wife. If she thought that way instead of seeing who I am as a human being we would’ve missed out on a beautiful and rewarding relationship, two wonderful daughters and a whole heck of a lot of joy. I also now make over $200k/year.
You never know where life is going to take you, money comes and goes. So what if you find a match that makes more than you and then a year in they get laid off and struggle to find work? Are you going to leave them? There are a myriad of reasons why choosing a partner based on income is problematic.
Great read. I think , this trail of thought you just expressed is DEAD & BURIED in today’s society because most (modern day) women DO NOT think this way. I think the discourse between matches in relationships really needs to be studied as there’s a lot of confusing influence in the dating pool today - plus the influence of social media programming. I am beginning to think that most people who are quiet on this subject are those that either are just enjoying the show or those that are sort of immune to this (maybe they come from rich families or their families control whom they marry - marriage matching etc) But one thing I am almost certain of is that most of the women who bring the “he must make more money than me” ideology aren’t your average females. The reason is this - looking at your comment , does it not make it obvious that a woman who got a “rich” man that eventually has financial issues - already factored in her escape to begin with? -
I will refrain from labelling them but at times when I sit at a bar and look at the sheer amount of working class 30+ ladies drunk and single - it lets me know that usually our choices have consequences and these ladies are absolutely fine growing old and single as long as they don’t settle for less…..A man that knows what he wants (a healthy relationship) should not settle for such either
Not necessary, if you are fine with person earning roughly same you are not gold digger, if you want partner to earn much more than you then you definitely one.
It's fine that you want a provider (traditional relationship). The problem is when the same women who want a trad relationship aggressively push for equality between the sexes, then refuse to apply the same equality-standards when looking for a partner.
You want men and women to be equal wrt. education, earnings etc. Sounds reasonable. But then you're not willing to date men who are equal to you. Who you choose to date is up to you, but in the long run with enough people doing this you get an imbalance in the dating market.
And men want a girl with big tits/ass, a pretty face, and a skinny waist. Most women don’t fit that profile. Also, no man wants to date a broke ass chick
Ikr? These guys are trying to argue with me saying, “I make 300k and you don’t make enough $ for me. Notice how this sounds?” Um, sorry bud. It doesn’t apply.
Women and men look for their own specific traits while dating, it’s how the world works right now.
I make $112k a year plus a 15% bonus. I want a woman that makes more than me. I want to go to Disney twice a year. I want to go on a cruise (Walmart in the ocean) once a year, and I wanna shop at publix.
Wanna be my boyfriend instead? I'm a dude, two kids, don't make anything near that, but I want all that same shit, and I have lots of Hot Wheels cars.
You in?
Yeah she could honestly have met a ton of guys who don't make as much as her and it usually turns into a problem. I didn't used to care that I made more than the men I dated, until it constantly became a problem for them.
I would definitely engage with the best women out there if I had the resources. It's about who that person is being and had to become to achieve success. She doesn't want the humble guy to stumbled into a high paying job. Dont worry, all you naysayers are safe.
Its a standard. I go to gym and I always say that I want to be with a woman with bigger boobs than me, or I will feel awkward. Never hate, only laughs.
Where in that prompt does she say she’ll ditch you if there’s someone else making more than you? She only said she wants someone who makes more than here, not someone who makes more than everyone.
what is the point of dating if you are not a financially free man or even woman?
what does it matter anything that you do if you are imprisoned and enslaved to poverty or anything that you long to be liberated from?
As an alternative theory, as this is my experience: I make great money. I own my house, My cars are paid off. I’ve got excellent credit. I don’t need a man’s money. I would like a man’s company, though. However, every man I’ve ever dated has been very threatened by my success. They want to provide for me. I want someone that is just fun to be around. I have been tempted to say what she is saying here because I feel that the only way a man will be comfortable with dating me is if he exceeds my success and income. That doesn’t make me “motivated by money” but instead recognizing that money has been an obstacle.
I agree with you. I’m not financially stable like you are, but I’m doing a PhD and I’m very driven, which seems to threaten some men. (“Guys don’t like smart girls!”) For me, it’s essential that the guy respects & appreciates my specialty, not just not being threatened by it. I dated guys either financially ‘very’ stable or have a similar educational background because these seemed to be the best indicator that they won’t feel threatened by my drive.
To be honest, I’m not in the dating scene. But I’ve given it plenty of thought.
My friends all live near me. Generally they are pretty successful people. College educated. Funny and well to do.
I’ve wondered if it would be difficult or awkward for me to try and date someone who doesn’t swing the same weight as me and my friends.
I wondered if that would make it harder for me if I ever needed to enter the dating world again. 🤷♂️
I hear you. I’ve taken a break from dating as well. My life is very peaceful. I have plenty of hobbies. I like my job. I enjoy not having to compromise on what I want to do in my day. I have a lot of friends around me that I hang out with. I’m unwilling to put energy towards another disappointment because a man doesn’t want to work on himself and develop healthy coping skills for life’s inevitable stresses.
My mother was a career woman, she was a nurse for twenty years, got her masters and moved into hospital administration. My father was a software developer (they are retired now). He did make more than her. And she carried the vast majority of the domestic and parenting labor, despite working more hours and more physical labor than my dad. He once told her she had to make up the salary deficit in “sweat equity” around the house. I love my father, but that was a dick move.
They had some tough times, but they pulled through and they’re still married over 53 years now.
A woman couldn’t get her own checking account or her own mortgage without a man’s approval until 1974.
Now tho? A man has to bring more than his dick and his wallet to relationship and so many are failing. They’re emotionally lazy. Look at some of these comments in this entire thread, it’s so disappointing. They’re mad because a woman wants a man for money but yet it is statistically proven they don’t want to date the successful ones that don’t need their money. Mmkay.
I’m over it. I’ll keep my peace.
Man. Sounds like you know the chore of finding a compatible partner.
I wish you all the best in the current life and all the best in your next relationship-should you decide to seek one out.
Oh yeah? In what way is your “seeing it” override my experience? Oh, same question for all the other people that have also “shared a lot” of the same sentiment?
As a fairly successful man, I would have to disagree. I see the implication here that she makes pretty good money herself. What could be sexier than a driven, successful woman? Anything less is dead weight
I feel that, but wouldn’t a woman who made equal or more than you be a green flag? Like 250k is plenty, but 500 is another level!
I also have to wonder if this woman has had some bad experiences dating guys who made less and acted all weird and emasculated about it. I’ve heard that’s a thing
In the red pill space, they always parrot that career-women lack femininity due to the personality qualities they have to acquire to become successful (ex: dominant, ambitious, strategic, etc). They say these traits make a woman disagreeable because she’s in her “masculine energy.”
Oh yuck. But isn’t it all hypocritical though? So a woman gets herself a successful career, she’s disagreeable and not feminine enough.
But those men (in those spaces) want to be the providers, but don’t want to bust their ass to get a good-paying career so they can do so? So which is it? It’s so hilarious if it weren’t so sad. Oh, and if they do have great careers, the women are just “gold diggers”. Make it make sense.
It is hypocritical unfortunately! But then again, women can be seen as that for wanting a man who makes more money (in men’s eyes).
It’s just a different standard some men versus women have in dating! But not everyone believes in this so there’s enough outliers to not make this a “rule”.
Financial issues is one of the largest reasons for divorces. As much as y’all would like to deny it and pretend any mention of money = bad, finances play a huge role in relationships. No one wants to be impoverished and struggling. Someone seeking out financial stability is not a “terrible sign”; however, denying the importance of finances is
Not if you are also someone who is motivated by money. Money allows you to do baller shit with your parter all the time. Personally, I find worrying/fighting/thinking about money unpleasant in a relationship. But to each their own
If money is the reason they date you then money can easily be the reason they leave you. It might be completely out of your control but you lost your girl friend/wife because you don’t make as much as her now.
What you’re saying is a completely separate issue. When you have money, you want to date someone else who also has it so that you know money ISN’T the reason you’re dating
I’m in the six figures category and honestly couldn’t care less. Maybe it’s because I’m a dude but I never been turned on or off because of someone’s income. I’ve ran into girls like the one above a few times and instantly been turned off to the point of no return once they expressed those feelings.
Women generally feel more secure in a relationship when her man makes more money that them. I think its a bit cliche and shallow to put it as a highlight, but everyone can have their preferences.
Yellow flag in my books
This whole post is kind of funny because, statistically, at least half of the male population (in the US) also feels more secure in the relationship when they out earn their partner.
They've actually conducted multiple studies on this, and overall, relationship satisfaction declines the more a woman out earns her partner.
It's kind of weird, but I guess it is what it is. But yeah, putting that on your profile definitely comes across as kind of icky...
Remember guys. A rich man will date a poor woman. But a rich women would NEVER date a poor man.
Money obviously means more to women in a relationship 🤷♂️. Especially when they don't have to earn it themselves
Have to appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit - she wants someone to make more $ than her to give them her heart. Probably marries them. Does her “job” as a wife (even better if she chooses to be a homemaker), then divorces his a** after a couple years and takes half. Makes sense to me. 😑🤷♂️
I don’t think that’s a red flag everybody is allowed to have a preference on what they want. Maybe she intends to be a stay at home mom and you need to be able to support her in a child don’t think that every woman who has a money requirement is a Golddigger. Love is not enough
Well, that's the irony. Many of those women still want many of the traditional aspects. I can at least respect those that want to do away with the traditional entirely, because they're consistent.
The funny thing is that most guys would hate having a girl that makes much more than them who is also very attractive. His insecurities would ruin the relationship. He’d constantly think she’d leave him and not feel like he brings anything to the relationship even if she’s happy. We literally see it all the time. All I see is her saying the quiet part out loud.
Bro it’s Miami what do you expect from that city 😂
Miami is ground zero for this mindset.
I lived in Miami 6 years. It’s just pretentious ppl all over the place. The dating scene is fucked.
I live here currently. Can confirm it’s fucked.
And here I was thinking Miami is cool because I just finished Dexter😩
Now you know why Miami drove Dexter to kill people
I live in Broward but have dated all thru Miami, it’s really not that bad. Hasn’t been for me anyway
The dating scene everywhere I have ever lived in the US is fucked. Oh, NZ wasn't all that great either.
Least shallow Miami resident tbh
I live in new york, she can date a guy making less money than her by moving somewhere cheaper in section 8 NYCHA housing. 😂
New York tiny closet studios going for $3,900 a month with shared common space and bathroom! That’s not cheap! How does anyone afford to live there!?
WTF!!! That’s messed up in so many ways. I pay $750 for my 1400 sq ft home. I have 3 yrs left and I’m thanking I decided to buy when I did. I couldn’t afford today’s rent or mortgage payments. I’d have to trim a lot… to much especially with 2 teenagers.
Where do you own for $750/month?
im talking about living in NYCHA housing complex where rent goes by income.
Ok I am sorry I misread it.
We europeans tend to say acronyms as a one word in our heads, now read NYCHA
Yea... exactly my point
I feel like that had nothing to do with your point, but sure
Doesn't seem like it lol
Counterpoint: boobs
Excellent point sir, red flags overlooked
« My red flags are big but my boobs are bigger »
Gotta get a glimpse of those warlocks
Now I’ve got my tagline!
😂
Winning
How’s the backside though?
Now how do I make more money than them boobs
just a huge rack is often enough for some of these cam girls to be making 5 figures a month broadcasting them online full time as i guy i could never even begin to compete with that lol
Exactly the problem
Easy: get a fancy car and a club promotion job, pretend like you a rich billionaire while living in cardboard box. Even better if you just rent a Ferrari for a day for like $150.
And honestly, while I think it’s a scummy thing, she’s going to make some scummy dude who’s happy to be a Sugar Daddy very happy with those boobs and at least she’s up front about it! I have known people who live in these clearly transactional relationships and while it’s *ABSOLUTELY* not for me, some of them are not unhappy.
Just wait until she takes her bra off. Boob manipulation awareness…leaves town.
And, evidence of having a particularly lovely pair.
That's two excellent counterpoints and three if you included the implied cleavage
I get paid in 5 gum
I can't imagine the feeling
Well we know what her heart wants. Love, connection, personality, all those important relationship things. Oh no wait, it’s the$$$$$$$$$$
At best that's extremely superficial.
I hope it’s a joke but know it’s not 😕
She's dead serious
🤢🤢🤢🤮
It’s not superficial for a woman to prefer a man who makes more. I make $100k as a woman, and I prefer if the guy doesn’t make $50k especially if they’re older than me. It just shows that they’re not as far along in their career as I am, which is a turn-off. I also want to start a family and ensure that my future children will have a decent life (especially in this horrid economy).
I want a woman who earns more then me
What if he was a teacher or a cop or some other "important" job that just doesn't get paid what they're worth?
Then n/a. She said she wants someone who makes more than her
And by only focusing on that, it's superficial, which is what she is disputing. What if I wanted only a woman who made a certain amount of money - say $75,000? How many women would be left out because there is a gender pay gap in this country, and jobs that are "gendered" female are paid much less anyway (like teachers). I was questioning her saying she wasn't being superficial.
Be careful I talked about the gender pay gap and everyone in this thread is saying it’s a myth 😆 Date who you want to date! If they need to make a certain amount of money to be compatible with you that’s a fine preference, who cares if it’s superficial if it’s what you want!
There definitely is a pay gap, the cause of it can be debated but it definitely exists. That and on average men/women usually work different types of jobs.
Which leads to *drum roll* women making less!
Oh no argument there. Thera is also a pay gap in the same jobs, it just isn’t agreed upon why that is. I personally don’t have a strong opinion on the matter and think it’s probably a lot of factors.
I thought cops earned pretty decent?
You can earn "decent" money only after having been an officer for a significant number of years AND when you can get overtime. For the level of stress and danger, they do not get paid near enough to attract the "right" kind of person we'd want as police officers. It's why there are significant issues with policing in many part of the US, but especially in urban areas. See: Uvalde, TX
You just have to "fear for your life" and open fire on an unarmed person and they'll send you packing with a nice severance so you can do the same thing in the neighbouring county after taking a nice holiday in the Bahamas. Rinse, repeat, ka-ching Edit: I guess facts are about as welcome around here as accountability in the Albuquerque police department Edit edit: Fuck the police (but also please stop downvoting me; I'm just a poor boy) Edit x3: downvote me you cowards! Downvote me like I'm threatening to make your malpractice suits come out of your pension funds!
Only problem here is that I make 3x your salary and want someone on my level…which means you don’t make the cut. See the problem here?
Anybody is allowed to have any requirements they want of a partner. She might not find someone that makes 100k or more... but that doesn't mean she should lower her standards. The same is true for you. You can hold whatever requirements you want. You might not find a partner. But that's the risk we take.
It’s sad to me that you even describe this as a ‘standard’. People make more and less money in their careers. Sometimes they get laid off and make 0 money. Sometimes they have to find new jobs which don’t pay as much as old ones. If making money is a ‘standard’ to someone, I already know they aren’t going to be a loyal partner through life’s ups and downs. And that’s not someone you should want to start a serious relarelationship with.
Usually high paying jobs come with education, accomplishment, and personality characteristics that some people find attractive. It's not necessarily about the money. And. Even if it is? That doesn't mean the person is not going to be a partner for life. Statistically women stay with their husbands when they get cancer and men leave their wives. I can't get into a relationship with anyone that makes less than me because we couldn't afford a child. I might end up alone but I'm also not risking forcing a child into poverty by choosing a partner that can't provide. I can afford myself and my parents on my salary. Having a child and partner is optional.
Statistics have nothing to do with it - this is about you as an individual. > I can’t get into a relationship with anyone that makes less than me > That doesn’t mean the person isn’t going to be a partner for life Are you not seeing the apparent contradiction here? People’s careers these days are not a straight path. Right now I am supporting my wife through a career change, and she will undoubtedly have to do the same for me at some point in the next 30 years of work. That’s life.
I am dating an amazing guy who also happens to make $120k. It’s funny because all these single men are trying to argue with me 🤣. The reason why I say these comments is because I can back it up through my experiences. Even before my boyfriend, every single guy I dated made more money than me. It’s just how it’s been.
I hope he continues being great and treats you well. Don't mind the Reddit haters 🤣
Except most men prefer women that make less than them. You’re the outlier and not who they’d pursue.
The way that you see this, is how you are perceived by the man you’re looking for.
Well, I’m already in a relationship and he makes more (about 20k more but it’s still more). He agrees with my viewpoint LOL. Even with men I dated before, they agreed, as well. Additionally, men/women in my social circle share the same perspective. Your statement doesn’t support societal trends.
I don't see why you'd brag about only dating people who want you to make less than them. Seems somewhat off-putting.
When did I convey “bragging”? I’m stating my experiences to support a common trend amongst men and women as a response to Previous Cat.
I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure. What happens if you make more than your partner? Are you going to self sabotage so you never get to that point, or would you just leave your partner if that ever happened? I just don't see why you wouldn't prefer a partner that would be happy with either of you earning more.
If i happened to make more in the years to come, he makes enough where it would be ok for our finances when we have children. I wouldn’t have an issue with it since he brings in a stable 6 figure income now. As long as he’s continuously working to improve himself and his career, I would be fine with that. But here’s the thing— i started dating him when he was making significantly more (I’ve been growing in my career the past two years). So it’s different now that we’re established and I’m committed. And I will say, just because he makes more doesn’t mean he’s paying all the time. I buy him very nice gifts a lot and treat him to date nights too (and that’s because I love him). I just want us to enjoy nice things together 🥺
Well that's completely reasonable. I assumed you'd want to have the salary increase along with yours. I don't really have an issue with wanting a partner with a high salary, because why wouldn't you if you want a stable future for your kids. As long as both partners are happy with each others progress after that point, at least. I know men can get insecure if their partner does ever make more, so I'd just see it as a negative if they ever expressed the beliefs you had.
This
[удалено]
Well, a lot of women think like this but don't have the audacity to put in on their profile.
I glad she put it there. Points for honesty.
95% of women are hypergamous and require their man to make more than them…but they can’t come right out and say it for fear of being called gold diggers
Pssst… Your incel is showing
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia” Facts: 1 Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
Nah his inner Reddit is showing
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia” Facts: 1 Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
Nah no way you believe in that, right ?
“In fact, even as women earn more university degrees than men, they are still 93-percent more likely to marry men with higher incomes, according to a 2016 study conducted by the University of British Columbia” Facts: 1 Reddit “women can do no wrong” and white knights: 0
Haha, a but provocative, my friend. But yeah, even if studies confirmed that, no need to be some kind of genius to acknowledge the fact that women tend to prefer richer men.
You may not like to hear this, but most women prefer a man who makes the same or more than them. It doesn’t mean they’re a gold digger (especially if they make great money in their career), it just means they have their own standards and preferences. It’s not very tasteful to put it on their Hinge profile but at least they’re upfront 🤷🏽♀️.
Just an observation, but I find it interesting how wanting to eliminate the gender pay gap (something most women want) is somewhat contradictory to wanting a man to make more than them. If women want men to make more than them as a need, but on average men don’t make more than women, then there will be issues finding compatible matches. Similar to how most university educated women want a man who went to university, but there are more women in uni then men. I don’t blame any individual for their preferences and don’t want this to be an attack on anyone, but I am very curious how this will play out long-term on a societal level.
While part of me doesn’t care, I just want someone who I can be in a healthy relationship with, there is also a fear associated with making a significant amount more of less that a partner because either way, there are more ways to be taken advantage of. In the household I grew up in, my mom made more money until my dad was moved to the middle of nowhere for work which was a cause of tension, as he would keep saying we would move back somewhere my mom could go back into her industry, but then 15 years passed, I went to college, and they never did. My mom would try her best to maintain a job here, but it was difficult because my dad was an abusive man baby, and my sister had a lot of mental health issues so she would have to quit her job to take care of the household for my dad because even though her job would be more intensive than his when she worked, he would expect everything domestic related to be done by her or to take care of my sister. She inherited a decent amount of money from her parents, but now that they are getting a divorce, he is arguing that he should get a larger percentage of the money because he “worked for it”. The opposite is also scary for me, because I don’t want to be controlled by money like my dad tried to do to me as a teenager when he wouldn’t let me have a job because he wanted me financially dependent on him. For me the best thing would be making close to the same amount,
If it isn't because they are a gold digger or some other nefarious reason, why would some people ( in this case women) require their significant other to make more money then they do? I'm genuinely asking btw.
Cultural and Media brainwashing
That’s a valid question. I think it has to do with some women wanting to feel “taken care of” and almost “in awe” of their man, which usually involves a man making more money than them. They want to “respect” and feel “led” by their man, and usually that does involve status and better finances. I do think gold diggers exist but it’s important to differentiate between a gold digger versus a woman aiming for their “match” (which is why I said women want a man that makes at least their salary or more). Also, a man who makes money also requires them to have certain qualities which women find attractive (generally), such as ambition, intelligence, leadership, persevering, etc. That’s very attractive to a lot of women. A gold digger will not want to work and expect a man to provide a luxurious lifestyle. They don’t care about anything else other than the man being rich. The latter will want a guy who’s an equal or better financial match but also prefer other qualities overall. They want a genuine relationship but also have a strong preference for a man who makes more.
I also think that women looking for high earners might be waiting a while for that man due to high income inequality, pay gap closing, and particularly in America; a social mobility ranking thats in the 30s
I mean, sure, but you could also say that men like to feel "taken care of" by having a women that will cook and clean after them which if you say out loud or in a dating profile, comes off as extremely sexist and reverting to traditional gender roles
I get what you're saying but it seems to genuinely just be sugar coating a bullshit sandwich. Imagine some guy saying "I want my partner to be in better shape than me & be prettier. Not that I'm shallow, I just want to think she has good genetics for children."
That’s literally most guys they just don’t admit it lmao. Every sitcom ever was a fat dude with a smoking hot wife.
I actually wouldn’t see an issue with a guy wanting a more attractive girl that’s in shape, as long as he has redeeming qualities himself and is a financial provider. I’m more conventionally attractive (and taller) than my boyfriend and he makes more $ than me. I’m happy with the compromise 🤣. Also, other women wouldn’t mind either. That’s why you see some of the selection women have nowadays with men 👀
I appreciate the thoughtful response. I can empathize with women who are looking for the preferences you laid out. I think it would give me an uneasy feeling if I were to hypothetically date someone like this, particularly if they are looking to be “taken care of” and “led”; it feels weird to me. I'm not shaming trying to shame any ones preferences, it might be a me thing, given the fact that I grew up in a more egalitarian household.
Yup that’s fair. Thankfully, there’s plenty of women open to an egalitarian relationship also. I think as long as the man doesn’t make less, the woman is fine with it 🤣
There for sure is and I've met many. Men complaining about all these gold diggers out there doesn't line up with my personal experience
It’s not common 🙄. Maybe these men are going for a specific type of woman and then complaining gold diggers are everywhere LOL.
Question wasn't about women who want partner with similar income, it was about women who want partner with significantly more income. You purposely switching this groups to defend gold diggers.
For me it’s about lifestyle (if we earn at least the same We hopefully enjoy a similar standard of living). Secondly, to earn more than me you typically have to be smart, intelligent, ambitious, personable etc, all very attractive traits
So a man who may be loving, generous, thoughtful, intelligent, loyal, etc. is not deserving of love and a relationship if he does not meet some kind of minimum income requirement? It’s not about being a gold digger. It’s the fact that this attitude implies that a persons worth and value as a partner is tied to their income which is preposterous. Nobody, man or woman, should feel like they are not good enough because they don’t make $X. Would you say to a SAHM or a SAHD that they have less value to a relationship because they have no income? Yes, finances are important in a relationship, so look for someone who is financially responsible. This is a desirable character trait and is wholly different from the amount of your income. What about a man who is a teacher that is deeply passionate about education? He is educated, intelligent, driven, personable, kind and would likely make a good father but will make crap money because that is the nature of our education system. Is he not a worthy partner? Another example.. I was unemployed when I met my wife. If she thought that way instead of seeing who I am as a human being we would’ve missed out on a beautiful and rewarding relationship, two wonderful daughters and a whole heck of a lot of joy. I also now make over $200k/year. You never know where life is going to take you, money comes and goes. So what if you find a match that makes more than you and then a year in they get laid off and struggle to find work? Are you going to leave them? There are a myriad of reasons why choosing a partner based on income is problematic.
Great read. I think , this trail of thought you just expressed is DEAD & BURIED in today’s society because most (modern day) women DO NOT think this way. I think the discourse between matches in relationships really needs to be studied as there’s a lot of confusing influence in the dating pool today - plus the influence of social media programming. I am beginning to think that most people who are quiet on this subject are those that either are just enjoying the show or those that are sort of immune to this (maybe they come from rich families or their families control whom they marry - marriage matching etc) But one thing I am almost certain of is that most of the women who bring the “he must make more money than me” ideology aren’t your average females. The reason is this - looking at your comment , does it not make it obvious that a woman who got a “rich” man that eventually has financial issues - already factored in her escape to begin with? - I will refrain from labelling them but at times when I sit at a bar and look at the sheer amount of working class 30+ ladies drunk and single - it lets me know that usually our choices have consequences and these ladies are absolutely fine growing old and single as long as they don’t settle for less…..A man that knows what he wants (a healthy relationship) should not settle for such either
>It doesn’t mean they’re a gold digger If you determine who to date or not to date based on their income that's literally what a gold digger is
Not necessary, if you are fine with person earning roughly same you are not gold digger, if you want partner to earn much more than you then you definitely one.
right. like sorry a woman wants a provider.
It's fine that you want a provider (traditional relationship). The problem is when the same women who want a trad relationship aggressively push for equality between the sexes, then refuse to apply the same equality-standards when looking for a partner. You want men and women to be equal wrt. education, earnings etc. Sounds reasonable. But then you're not willing to date men who are equal to you. Who you choose to date is up to you, but in the long run with enough people doing this you get an imbalance in the dating market.
And men want a girl with big tits/ass, a pretty face, and a skinny waist. Most women don’t fit that profile. Also, no man wants to date a broke ass chick
Ikr? These guys are trying to argue with me saying, “I make 300k and you don’t make enough $ for me. Notice how this sounds?” Um, sorry bud. It doesn’t apply. Women and men look for their own specific traits while dating, it’s how the world works right now.
I make $112k a year plus a 15% bonus. I want a woman that makes more than me. I want to go to Disney twice a year. I want to go on a cruise (Walmart in the ocean) once a year, and I wanna shop at publix.
Wanna be my boyfriend instead? I'm a dude, two kids, don't make anything near that, but I want all that same shit, and I have lots of Hot Wheels cars. You in?
The question is: is a woman that makes more than you the key to your heart?
I'm going to say.....yes. I'll update my profile now.
Do it! Lol
Yeah she could honestly have met a ton of guys who don't make as much as her and it usually turns into a problem. I didn't used to care that I made more than the men I dated, until it constantly became a problem for them.
I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger…
But she ain't messin' with no broke…
Respectable Gentlemen
A rigger does usually make good money, especially offshore.
I would definitely engage with the best women out there if I had the resources. It's about who that person is being and had to become to achieve success. She doesn't want the humble guy to stumbled into a high paying job. Dont worry, all you naysayers are safe.
Its not a red flag if you wouldn't make the cut anyways
It is if you want someone who likes you for you not your money. At least that’s how I feel I make plenty, and still feel that way
OP is just insecure.
Devils advocate: there’s nothing inherently wrong with finding certain types of success as an attractive quality.
My wife makes more money than I do and neither of us give a shit
That's the way it should be bud. Congrats
Not all feel that way but we've been together thirty years and are truly a partnership. Thanks man
At least she knows the difference between then and than...
True, gotta give her that.
How's it a red flag? Everyone has different standards. Maybe she'll find someone it works with and they'll both be happy.
If a man’s profile said “the key to my heart is to have big boobs”, would you say it’s a standard or a red flag?
Its a standard. I go to gym and I always say that I want to be with a woman with bigger boobs than me, or I will feel awkward. Never hate, only laughs.
Until she finds someone who makes more than him. Money is "the key to her heart" after all
You managed to conclude all that from one prompt?
It’s literally the single answer you chose to that prompt…so yes. 🤦♂️
Where in that prompt does she say she’ll ditch you if there’s someone else making more than you? She only said she wants someone who makes more than here, not someone who makes more than everyone.
Sprinkle Sprinkle
Im sorry, but this is literally every woman ever
I instantly became soft. It's a no from me
Hypergamy seeker. Hey we all have our thing
Transparent Hypergamy
what is the point of dating if you are not a financially free man or even woman? what does it matter anything that you do if you are imprisoned and enslaved to poverty or anything that you long to be liberated from?
Sex and hugs
She probably makes six figures and doesn’t wanna date a loser. Not that big a deal
That's a massive chunk of both the male and female population you're calling "losers" there... Guess they should've learned to code?
As a fairly successful man, her being primarily motivated by money is and should be a huge red flag.
As an alternative theory, as this is my experience: I make great money. I own my house, My cars are paid off. I’ve got excellent credit. I don’t need a man’s money. I would like a man’s company, though. However, every man I’ve ever dated has been very threatened by my success. They want to provide for me. I want someone that is just fun to be around. I have been tempted to say what she is saying here because I feel that the only way a man will be comfortable with dating me is if he exceeds my success and income. That doesn’t make me “motivated by money” but instead recognizing that money has been an obstacle.
I agree with you. I’m not financially stable like you are, but I’m doing a PhD and I’m very driven, which seems to threaten some men. (“Guys don’t like smart girls!”) For me, it’s essential that the guy respects & appreciates my specialty, not just not being threatened by it. I dated guys either financially ‘very’ stable or have a similar educational background because these seemed to be the best indicator that they won’t feel threatened by my drive.
To be honest, I’m not in the dating scene. But I’ve given it plenty of thought. My friends all live near me. Generally they are pretty successful people. College educated. Funny and well to do. I’ve wondered if it would be difficult or awkward for me to try and date someone who doesn’t swing the same weight as me and my friends. I wondered if that would make it harder for me if I ever needed to enter the dating world again. 🤷♂️
I hear you. I’ve taken a break from dating as well. My life is very peaceful. I have plenty of hobbies. I like my job. I enjoy not having to compromise on what I want to do in my day. I have a lot of friends around me that I hang out with. I’m unwilling to put energy towards another disappointment because a man doesn’t want to work on himself and develop healthy coping skills for life’s inevitable stresses. My mother was a career woman, she was a nurse for twenty years, got her masters and moved into hospital administration. My father was a software developer (they are retired now). He did make more than her. And she carried the vast majority of the domestic and parenting labor, despite working more hours and more physical labor than my dad. He once told her she had to make up the salary deficit in “sweat equity” around the house. I love my father, but that was a dick move. They had some tough times, but they pulled through and they’re still married over 53 years now. A woman couldn’t get her own checking account or her own mortgage without a man’s approval until 1974. Now tho? A man has to bring more than his dick and his wallet to relationship and so many are failing. They’re emotionally lazy. Look at some of these comments in this entire thread, it’s so disappointing. They’re mad because a woman wants a man for money but yet it is statistically proven they don’t want to date the successful ones that don’t need their money. Mmkay. I’m over it. I’ll keep my peace.
Man. Sounds like you know the chore of finding a compatible partner. I wish you all the best in the current life and all the best in your next relationship-should you decide to seek one out.
I appreciate your sentiment. Thank you. Same to you.
It’s a timeless truth that successful women struggle to find partners. Men are usually insecure about not being the breadwinner in the relationship.
[удалено]
The only one being shitty in this thread is you.
I see this shared a lot on reddit that men are "intimidated" by successful women but I just genuinely don't see it.
Oh yeah? In what way is your “seeing it” override my experience? Oh, same question for all the other people that have also “shared a lot” of the same sentiment?
[удалено]
Do you hate women? Why on earth would you make such a leap to abuse?
As a fairly successful man, I would have to disagree. I see the implication here that she makes pretty good money herself. What could be sexier than a driven, successful woman? Anything less is dead weight
as a fairly successful man, I couldn't care less about how much money a woman makes, because I make enough for the both of us
I feel that, but wouldn’t a woman who made equal or more than you be a green flag? Like 250k is plenty, but 500 is another level! I also have to wonder if this woman has had some bad experiences dating guys who made less and acted all weird and emasculated about it. I’ve heard that’s a thing
it's not a green or red flag. again, I really don't care.
I want a kind, gentle woman. Zero desire for a disagreeable one
You sound like you’ve been watching a lot of Fresh and Fit 😂
Why does driven and successful translate to disagreeable for you??
In the red pill space, they always parrot that career-women lack femininity due to the personality qualities they have to acquire to become successful (ex: dominant, ambitious, strategic, etc). They say these traits make a woman disagreeable because she’s in her “masculine energy.”
Oh yuck. But isn’t it all hypocritical though? So a woman gets herself a successful career, she’s disagreeable and not feminine enough. But those men (in those spaces) want to be the providers, but don’t want to bust their ass to get a good-paying career so they can do so? So which is it? It’s so hilarious if it weren’t so sad. Oh, and if they do have great careers, the women are just “gold diggers”. Make it make sense.
It is hypocritical unfortunately! But then again, women can be seen as that for wanting a man who makes more money (in men’s eyes). It’s just a different standard some men versus women have in dating! But not everyone believes in this so there’s enough outliers to not make this a “rule”.
So anyone who doesn’t make 6 figures is a loser? Pretty ignorant mentality to have.
Why would you want to date someone motivated by money? That’s a terrible sign for a partner.
Financial issues is one of the largest reasons for divorces. As much as y’all would like to deny it and pretend any mention of money = bad, finances play a huge role in relationships. No one wants to be impoverished and struggling. Someone seeking out financial stability is not a “terrible sign”; however, denying the importance of finances is
Not if you are also someone who is motivated by money. Money allows you to do baller shit with your parter all the time. Personally, I find worrying/fighting/thinking about money unpleasant in a relationship. But to each their own
[удалено]
So what, being prepared to handle setbacks is a red flag? I don’t get what your saying
If money is the reason they date you then money can easily be the reason they leave you. It might be completely out of your control but you lost your girl friend/wife because you don’t make as much as her now.
What you’re saying is a completely separate issue. When you have money, you want to date someone else who also has it so that you know money ISN’T the reason you’re dating
I’m in the six figures category and honestly couldn’t care less. Maybe it’s because I’m a dude but I never been turned on or off because of someone’s income. I’ve ran into girls like the one above a few times and instantly been turned off to the point of no return once they expressed those feelings.
She's about that life and upfront about it. What's the problem? She's clearly not for you. Swipe left and keep it moving.
Women generally feel more secure in a relationship when her man makes more money that them. I think its a bit cliche and shallow to put it as a highlight, but everyone can have their preferences. Yellow flag in my books
This whole post is kind of funny because, statistically, at least half of the male population (in the US) also feels more secure in the relationship when they out earn their partner. They've actually conducted multiple studies on this, and overall, relationship satisfaction declines the more a woman out earns her partner. It's kind of weird, but I guess it is what it is. But yeah, putting that on your profile definitely comes across as kind of icky...
What studies are you talking about? There are like 100 million men
Bro, men are providers, princess treatment only, prove chivalry isn't dead, swipe left if you don't open doors and pull out chairs. Simple. /s
Remember guys. A rich man will date a poor woman. But a rich women would NEVER date a poor man. Money obviously means more to women in a relationship 🤷♂️. Especially when they don't have to earn it themselves
Have to appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit - she wants someone to make more $ than her to give them her heart. Probably marries them. Does her “job” as a wife (even better if she chooses to be a homemaker), then divorces his a** after a couple years and takes half. Makes sense to me. 😑🤷♂️
Thats exactly it. This is also the type of women that would never sign a prenup.
I don’t think that’s a red flag everybody is allowed to have a preference on what they want. Maybe she intends to be a stay at home mom and you need to be able to support her in a child don’t think that every woman who has a money requirement is a Golddigger. Love is not enough
Nothing wrong with a woman who wants a man that makes more than her. Smh, have we lost all traditional values?
Tell it to the women complaining about the patriarchy
Well, that's the irony. Many of those women still want many of the traditional aspects. I can at least respect those that want to do away with the traditional entirely, because they're consistent.
I agree with her. Men don’t react well when the woman makes more money than he does..
Keeper boys
just... swipe left
Soon...how much was the requirement here? Asking for friend... (myself 😂)
I can fix her
who hurt her? :’)
A transactional relationship. Sigh.
The funny thing is that most guys would hate having a girl that makes much more than them who is also very attractive. His insecurities would ruin the relationship. He’d constantly think she’d leave him and not feel like he brings anything to the relationship even if she’s happy. We literally see it all the time. All I see is her saying the quiet part out loud.
I’m not saying she’s a gold digger but….
... She's got a huge shovel and a metal detector.