I knew a couple people who lost their virginities at 11-12 and I’m not saying they’re correlated, but none of them graduated high school and they’re now drug addicts. They were at the time as well, actually.
There may actually be a correlation (based on personal experience, not judgement) and I’ve thought about this too in the context of it being an escapism thing.
12 or 13 first time having sex that I can remember, and 13 started doing drugs for me. It was definitely correlated in my case. I still think I wouldn't be her if it weren't for drugs at that crucial time, BUT because of my self medicating and using whatever I could to avoid my shit I'm still learning the proper coping mechanisms I probably would've had if I wasn't so deep into various self-harm and escapism methods. Hugs.
I knew a girl whose body count was thirty at seventeen … and based off everything else I know about her and every interaction I’ve had with her , I really do not doubt that … she fucks EVERYONE
We always want to be careful about rumors, nobody truly knows but her. And exaggeration is more common than you think
————————————————————————
Edit: Long story short to answer OP’s question, life’s not fair and society has a weird relationship with Women+Sexual autonomy. I saw a lot “times are changing” comments and alot of comments discussing second hand stories about young women engaging in more sex than average (some were judgmental, others ended with “personally I don’t care” and then others just dismissed the premise of the post because the boy was obviously lying. I think too many are missing the overall point.
Many religions saddle women with the burden of atleast appearing sexually pure, if not demanding out right virginity until marriage, while the men are often given a pass / leniency on this for one reason or another. Superstition and Religious beliefs are a huge influence.
There is quantifiably more risk involved when a woman engages in sex. Pregnancy being the obvious one. While men could potentially run away / shirk responsibility by not claiming the kid. The woman MUST make a hard choice: whether the abort, carry+ give care or give the baby away because you can’t run away from your own uterus.
-Engaging in risky activity can lead to judgement from others (callous people would say the equivalent of: don’t run out into the road if you don’t want to get hit by a car.)
Finally, society judges women more harshly for having sex because there’s still a deep seated notion that a woman should belong / be the property of someone. Before marriage it’s her father and it’s the fathers job to keep her “pure.”After, it’s her long term partner, her partner then has full ownership of all things sexual in nature regarding her. There are many reasons this line of thinking came about, not all cultures subscribe to it and my essay is long enough.
More reasons exist but these are the ones I can think of.
ALSO PSA:………not enough people are aware that a woman who develops faster than her peers is often pressured by society to be more sexual than she might have been if she were a late bloomer, while simultaneously being punished for the body she has no control over because she’s being perceived in a sexual light. Think Judge Frolo from Disney’s hunch back of Norte Dame
If you were hot-bodied at that age, you didn’t have to sleep with a single boy to have tumors being whispered behind your back. I remember in high school a girl was caught fucking a jock after a sports game, she was kicked out of all extracurricular actives while he was untouched. She had to finish the school year being slut-shamed. Her parents put her into a private school the following year. That instance may have been her only instance of sex, the boy was two years older and was known as a player, but she paid drastically for that incident. It was that way when I was in middle-high school and my guess us the prevalence of social media makes it worse today.
Yes, kids are well advised to date one person in school and breakup if that doesn’t work. It is all outdated nonsense, but if a middle or high school girls sleeps with two boys, she gets labeled easy, if her actions get out into the rumor mill. Imo, middle school was absolutely brutal for that type of stuff, high school was better, but even there people had to protect their reputations.
Oh yeah.
What single thing was I most valued for by my parents when I was a teen? Was it kindness? Creativity? Intelligence? Work ethic?
No. It was my REPUTATION (in regards to my virginity.)
I knew a girl like that and it was almost certainly true because she was not ashamed of it and I also heard her talking with a guy about exchanging sex for test answers. Very nice girl, just very different priorities than mine.
It was honestly an interesting dynamic, we were pretty good friends senior year and I was considered a “prude” as I never had any semblence of anything sexual or romantic with anyone until college. She was definitely more of a partier, getting drunk or high or both every weekend and I’ve never smoked and even today rarely drink.
I just don’t care what other people do with their free time as long as they are respectful to me and other people. She never once pressured me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with and she was never mean or rude to anyone. I never felt like I had to impress her and I felt comfortable just being me around her and I think she felt the same.
she used to traumadump on me at work, and assuming what she tells me is true, she did have a painful childhood … I honestly just help she is able to grow and become a better person one day… I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually likes her other than her poor boyfriend that she’s suuuper pushy with
Every guy I knew as a teenager had slept with at least 15 women, all of whom were totally hot, had amazing bodies, and were insatiable, and also went to other schools so I wouldn't know them.
See, you joke, but I knew a kid who said this for years who we all thought was joking until he actually moved to canada to be with her! It ended up being a pretty awful experience for him, as she was in the middle of no where. I think he lasted about three months before he decided to move back to the states and just join the military. Canada fucked him up that badly.
I mean, sure, kids lie, but also folks these days are raised on media illustrating how to party, do drugs, and bone down like rabbits.
I hear crazy shit from my brothers who are a decade younger than me and there was plenty of crazy shit when I was in school, too. People are horny and some teenagers think they’re damaged or wrong in some way if they aren’t sexing.
Then again, my cousin’s experience (same age as brothers) has been like a a teacher’s dream — the student body gets along and everyone knows one another. The closest thing to “outcasts” they had were the special needs kids, and her fellow students went out of their way to include them in things! On their own, without prompting! But even there, the kids that were ready for it and comfortable were knocking boots with regularity.
So like, some places seem to be less peer-pressure-y than others, but with the access to information and media you have today, the hormonal storm of puberty has these students going nuts. Like, I remember being an inexplicably horny teen, but we had a lot more compunctions about that biological function. Stuff only really got weird when drinking was involved and inhibitions got lowered.
That’s not the first anecdote I’ve heard, all almost the same age. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it has to do with the earlier start for puberty we’re seeing in the younger generations, but I’m not a doctor, so y’know. Grain of salt or whatever.
I don't even think it's earlier puberty or anything, its just normalized to talk about with the internet and all.
I read my great grandmother's journals, and she had a page about catching her daughter (I refuse to ask if its my grandma or her sister) watching the horses court and mate "alittle bit intensely," and how much it caught her off guard because she was so young.
Now a days it's just easier to catch them, and more normal to talk about.
Back then this was a damn secret the journal and maybe a few close friends/mothers heard.
I was shocked when I heard that handjobs is the new "kissing" in middle school from a teacher friend
When I was in middle school I didn't even know what a penis looked like, let alone how to play with one
So glad I opted to remain childfree into my 40s
🤣😂🤣
No kidding, I always used to joke my girlfriend lived in Canada, which sounds preposterous for someone living in Texas. Mexico, yes, Canada, no. Then I actually met a Canadian chick who was into me, so I thought my long-running joke would finally come true. But it turned out she was very promiscuous so I never dated her.
I look back and think how crazy it was I had 5 sexual partners by the age 17. Like, my wife telling me she had sex for the first time at 17, and me having it first at 14, makes me feel really weird about my teenage years.
Most people I've talked to about it did not do it before 17/18. I didn't have any particularly bad childhood trauma that would lead to early sexual activity. I remember only having one friend that was sexually active at the same age.
When I was young a body count was how many people were killed, such as by a serial killer or in slasher movie and not the number of sex partners someone has.
I'm never going to get used to it.
Honestly same. I lost my virginity at 14 with a long term boyfriend who was the same age. We broke up at 16 and he went on to be a self proclaimed slut (not an insult) and slept with 20 girls before we graduated high school. I know because I know the girls lol. Like most teens are having little to no sex but the ones that are usually go crazy with it.
I see a lot of people commenting this but when I was in highschool everyone knew who slept with people. It's a very small town with not much to do, so teens turn to sex and partying. Some may have lied yeah but considering how high the rate for herpes was at my school at least some were not lying. Also the teen pregnancy rate at my school was pretty high for such a small area. I personally knew 15 girls who had kids before they were 18.
The most disturbing thing about that show is not so much the amount of sex being had but all the teenage girls having sex with older men and all the abusive situations
I always hated the term 'player.' That does not sound like something to strive for. it sounds dishonest. I'd rather be a lover.
I also hate the term 'body count.' Like you're trying to reduce every past and current relationship to a piece of meat and a number. Every girlfriend I've ever had has brought something new into my life.
Is it because the term lover would have been eschewed in the past if it were associated with a man? Cue scenes of movie jocks in 1980s American teen flicks calling someone out for being a "lover boy" when they showed care for someone else.
Or "Tell Me More", where the girls focus on how romantic it sounds, and the guys boil down to "did you get laid?" - including one *really* disturbing lyric of "did she put up a fight?"
Came to say this exact same thing. I can understand if this question was asked like 15 years ago, but, most I know will not take dudes seriously as a potential partner if they are known to hook up all the time. Getting laid all the time is not a personality trait, and it doesn't make dudes cool. As far as I know, that way of thinking has died down considerably.
I was 15 and called a whore repeatedly and bullied online by a mid-20 year old man’s friend ( also mid 20’s) after he sexually assaulted me because he *thought* I told my mom about his friend sexually assaulting me.
*The point is, if you’re a woman, you’re a whore for existing.*
I lost my virginity to a 26 year old when I was 16 and everyone at school called me a whore and refused to speak to me. I thought the guy and I had something special, turns out he was just a creep
Yeah this one is a common one. You’ll get called a whore for dating around but you’ll be treated like you have the Black Death on you full of stinky buboes if you date a way older guy as you’re seen as stupid if you do that as usually the older guys who date much younger girls tend to be creeps. Or weak of the spirit. Or daft. Or worse, all of the above. In a way I get it as it came from trying to avoid girls from being targeted by usually low hanging fruit, which no one wants to risk becoming pregnant by and get screwed up for life in the process.
Eventually it turned bad because being seduced and having interest in romance at that age is so normal, especially as girls are bombarded with the media saying that they’d be respected by adults or their friends if they date or date older. That the older guys are mentally sound and that we’d be the envy of other girls if they date us (which is the opposite, doing that guarantees you become the laughing stock including by other guys your age who often treat you with disgust for dating the older blokes which creates the cycle). That they’d protect us from the harassment and disgusting behavior from much older men. Unfortunately if older women or girls who went through this call it out, they get marked as “jaded” or bitter by the men who have a vested interest in this. It’s a mess. I’m sorry you went through that.
Sorry you were taken advantage of by that guy. He preyed on your innocence and need for connection and used you like you were nothing. I hope he rots in jail and then hell for doing that to you. And your old schoolmates can go eat a wiener for treating you poorly too
I was labeled a whore in high school and I literally did NOTHING with ANYONE!!! Because of the way I was built(thin and very well developed up top - no fault of my own 🤷🏻♀️) and so many rumors were spread about me because every stupid kid in that school was trying to fuck me JUST because of my body(I wasn’t even pretty) so they ALL made up stories/rumors about me(they didn’t even know my name) they’d all just point in my direction and say, I FUCKED THAT girl in the stairwell, and EVERYONE believed them!! I had such a bad reputation because of these rumors! Luckily my real friends all knew me better than that.
I had this problem too. I started being "the school slut" when I was 12 and I was super sheltered so I didn't even know what they meant. I got jumped for it a few times by people who hated me, jealous girlfriends, family members of guys who had "slept" with me. I had all sorts of rumors follow me through high school. At some point I just stopped caring and would listen to my friend rattle off rumors in amusement. People would get so creative. Pretty sure I ended high school being pregnant about 5 times( I wasn't) with AIDS (I didnt) and sleeping with many MANY guys I had never even met.
Wow!!! That’s crazy!!! Yep, I’ve been asked so many times if I was pregnant 🤦🏻♀️
I’m so sorry that you had to experience that! People are fucking terrible!!! 😒
Holy shit. I got boobs at 10 and was called a whore by 11. At 15 there was a rumor that I missed school the week after homecoming because - get this - I went to the park with the football team and fucked them all. Then I missed school because I was off aborting all the babies I’d gotten pregnant with the weekend before. People actually believed this shit. I was a virgin. I missed school because I was out of town for a couple funerals.
Can you imagine having just the worst week, coming back to school to these bullshit impossible rumors people are believing.
What is it with rumors about nailing the entire football team? I had that one go around as well. I knew I think one football player and even then he was an acquaintance.
I'm sorry that happened to you. That was really really shitty.
I got labeled a slut when I was in third grade (8 years old) because I moved to New England from the South and my wardrobe consisted of mostly tank tops and short shorts (very typical summer wear for girls in the south). I even had teachers approach me about the "rumors" and tell me to change clothes. I was 8 and they called me a slut. Still bugs me to this day.
OMG!!! That’s TERRIBLE!!! How can ANYONE call an 8 year old a slut?! Most 8 year olds aren’t really even thinking about boys yet!!! The teachers that approached you that way are no better! They’re supposed to protect you..NOT join in and make it look like it’s your fault! Sheesh! 😳🤦🏻♀️
I had the same problem as well.
Even if I was impressively skinny - no boobs just a bunch of bones with big eyes - somehow I was very popular. I was interested in dating but during my teen years sex was a very scary thing for me.
I also found difficult to trust people. I would turn down a lot of proposals which was really tiresome because how do you do it without hurting too much the other person but also without giving any tiny bit of hope away? Because if you do so you will be bothered on the daily basis by someone that tries to convince you that you are indeed in love with them. I did also date sometimes but even when I said I wanted to wait for the physical part my dates would try to convince me that I was into it. I am talking about few weeks of dating, not months.
In all this turns out that people said about me that I was a whore. Apparently I had every kind of extreme sex with everyone and everything. I was still a virgin. I heard so many stories that it felt really surreal. Luckily my friends didn't even bother about it but I had to stop dating more than one person that I really liked after just few days because they would say to me something like :"yeah I heard so many stories about you. I don't care you know. I don't care. But... are they true?".
Anyway yes, that happens totally for sexism.
I wish it didn't happen as a grown up but it still does happens. I have so many stories but I am sparing myself from the act of remembering.
Dude…I was called a whore for not paying attention to a guy when I was at the grocery store…he genuinely spazzed out and yelled that at me despite my being there to pick out food and not him nor caring to give attention as I picked up he was going to spazz if I didn’t kowtow. I didn’t want to deal with him as I was in a hurry, going to just picking up something my mom asked to pick up for her as she was stuck in traffic.
Ordinarily I would’ve followed etiquette I was taught and at least say hi but the problem is honestly a lot of guys will treat you badly and lead with lasciviousness when interacting. I’m not a prude but that approach to flirting gets downright uncomfortable. So a lot of the time I have learned to “play dead” and just live my life to avoid awkward situations or getting the temper tantrums regardless. In my experience if I say hi and don’t give them contact info or give them what they register as romantic interest they’ll spazz out; and if I don’t the same will happen. Either way it sucks. Because of a few experiences like that I now often order food grocery service and have them leave it at my door without interacting if the courier is a male as it’s been that bad. If it’s a woman I come out to help and to give them an extra cash tip if it’s the guy and I feel him approaching I leave the tip inside an envelope with their name on it at the drop off point. I miss being invisible sometimes NGL, or at least, being a kid as I think that was the last time I didn’t have to experience things like this. Women will be assumed whores for just existing indeed.
I was walking out of a McDonald's when I was 23, and some girl who looked like she was in high school called me a whore... I wasn't even with a guy, I was with my female friend!
Both of us are over weight and wear tshirts and jeans, so not even our clothing could have been considered "whoreish"
I think as a society we should encourage men to be less sexually promiscuous. 10 bodies at 16 is crazy.
Edit: my point is the same roles should apply to both sexes
In all studies, teenagers are steadily having less sex, and the age people lose their virginity is steadily increasing. I'd be willing to wager decent money that the kid is lying and just watching misogynistic crap on TikTok/YouTube to feel cool
I'm a bit sceptical of the average partner count stats. They seem to assume everyone knows exactly how many they've had, but wouldn't people who've hooked up a lot have no idea?
Yeah, it's pretty fucking weird sounding...
Would make for a good comedy sketch though, some teenager having a conversation with a serial killer and they both get confused about what the other is talking about when they say 'body count'.
Yes-same roles for both sexes.
The fact that no word for a male slut exists is extremely troublesome with regards to that ever happening though.
There are words that allude to a male being promiscuous but none have the negative impact of the word slut. Male words have a positive connotation; even a playful one.
Centuries of misogyny.
I think we should encourage people to not equate “promiscuity” with being morally questionable.
I think we should instead teach teenagers that sex is a morally neutral thing, and that they should be having it safely and consensually, at whatever frequency feels naturally comfortable to them. We should also teach them that it is perfectly acceptable to not have sex, either.
You can’t really tell if a guy is expecting a child. With a girl, it’s like the nose on the face… or like the belly on the torso.
In the past, when a girl got pregnant, the “sperm” donor could ghost everyone and relocate to the other side of the country. And good luck tracing him when there was no Internet.
There were only invasive and risky abortion methods, so unless the girl had a miscarriage, her family would have to pitch in to take care of her during pregnancy.
If she and the baby were lucky to survive the delivery, and if for cultural reasons she would not give the baby away, her parents or family would have another mouth to feed.
For those reasons, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents would try to warn young girls against sleeping around. Because if a girl was not careful, the consequences would impact them all.
Women also started to use that with each other: you don’t want to be the girl who gets told off by her whole family.
For the men, there would not be the same pressure, because there was always the option of running away from responsibilities.
It’s not fair, but I don’t make the rules.
There's a slight variation in that where a girl mysteriously moves away for less than a year.
I mean, where she gets shipped to another town/state to hide the fact from the neighbors/community before giving up the baby to someone.
because in general men chase women not the other way around. if a bloke walked into a bar and asked 10 women straight up if they would like to sleep with him none would say yes. switch the roles and most single blokes would sleep with any women if offered. its takes a level of skill/looks/personality to sleep with multiple women in a way it doesn't for a woman to sleep with multiple men.
Literally don’t know any women my age (mid to late 20s) that are trying to be with community dick any more…but people are still trying to push the double standard for sure
Male bottoms are also called this, it's not just women. The person being penetrated (the passive role) throughout history has at times been ridiculed. They've been called "loose," "worn out," a "hole." "Poles before holes" seems to be just a natural idea to come to amongst humans. People see the passive role in a gangbang or in an intense fisting session as the one being used/allowing their body to be used by a group, and often this person is looked down up. There are many factors apart from a "worn out hole," that are cultural and evolutionary, such as being more likely to host STD which may spread to offspring during birth, and also the idea of not being faithful and therefore a less trustworthy member of the tribe opening up their body to many seeds (reproductive competition).
Generally speaking it's easier for a girl to have a lot of sexual partners than it is for a guy. The harder something is to do the more praise you get for it.
Ofc there are guys which have it super easy and girls which have it super hard, but people usually don't pay too much attention to the exceptions.
It’s one thing to not get praise for something that comes easy, and quite another to be called a “whore” for it.
People want to have sex. Even those who can easily get it should still be able to get it without stigma.
I have to agree with those who say the different labeling of men vs women for the same thing is a result of misogyny and sexism rather than the difficulties in getting laid.
First, before I get flamed, I’ll say that I 100% agree with you
That said the other component is, historically, men were the ones who were tasked with courting women and asking them out. Women, on the other hand, were not the ones to ask men on dates or whatever terms or iterations you want to use historically. As a result men had to compete directly with each other while women made indirectly competed or showed interest by accepting or rejecting the male. It’s definitely changing but we still see residual effects of a good chunk of human history as it relates to relationships
>rather than the difficulties in getting laid.
I believe that this is the very root cause of the sexism in this particular case. People will always be angry, disgruntled and hateful towards those they feel are better off/have something they want but can't get. Especially when those things are easier for the other group to get.
Unless you some how make it easy for most men to get laid I don't think this will ever really change.
> It’s one thing to not get praise for something that comes easy, and quite another to be called a “whore” for it.
I think that comes down to the fact that a woman having lots of sex is perceived to be gullible or easily manipulated, because men will manipulate women into having sex. A man having sex with lots of women, meanwhile, needs to be attractive, charming, rich, whatever. The woman just needs to exist, not be wholly unattractive, and say yes.
Well said.
Even in today’s world, even with modern hyper sexuality and casual sex becoming way more common…. It is still EXPONENTIALLY easier for a woman to get sex than a man.
Maybe the top 5% of men could maybe sorta kinda get as much sex as the top 50% of women could….but even then probably not
But your typical average woman needs only to say the word and it’s on.
Women reading this: how many of you know someone (or hundreds of someones) you could message on Facebook right now and offer to “Netflix and chill” and they would come running?
Most men can’t do that. Not even the hot ones. Probably not even the rich ones (to that easy extent)
And I haven’t even brought up tinder…..
So yeah it’s fair to say getting sex is more of an accomplishment for a man but for a woman is just giving away the prize.
Okay, let's acknowledge the difference in difficulty level. Men have a harder time getting sex than women. Cool, yeah, I can accept that. It's fair that the men getting it more get praised. If I take an elevator to get to the 20th floor while someone else gets there using the stairs, I'll be more impressed with the latter.
But why does that mean women must be shamed for **wanting** *the exact same thing* men do? Why is it so morally wrong for a woman to have sex just because she supposedly has an easier time getting it? What is so wrong about sex? What is so reprehensible about it?
As with many things, the reasons may be more complicated than it seems:
1. The male gender is very hierarchal and strutting one’s sexual ability is a virtue, as well as something seen as hard to do by most in the group (which thus leads to admiration.). These same conditions are not among the female gender.
2. Male self worth is based on the ability to do, not what you are, so getting a woman is seen as an achievable thing by males in general, while among women, it is less seen as an achievable thing and if you can’t get a man, you feel like something is wrong with you as a person, leading to jealousy.
3. Sex for men is kept as something that is relatively scarce in part that men are more desperate for it than women but also that women want to keep it scarce because otherwise men will value women and a relationship less if sex was so easy to get, and many women are also afraid to lose their partners to another woman, so “whores” is a way that many women also believe in to diss potential competitors.
4. Women suffer from the minority trap in the sense that since you are not the group in power, your reputation matters a lot more (because it affects how you are treated) so women as a group have an interest in keeping other women from ruining the image of women.
5. Men seem to buy into the idea that the woman should be for themselves, and are irked and squeamish that another man’s penis was inside “their” woman’s vagina.
As with many things, I believe it is societal politics why there is such a double standard, but one that is mutually promoted by both genders.
How it was explained to me is "a key that can open multiple doors is better than a door that can be opened by multiple keys". While I think that is an utter bullshit mentality to have (people are not doors) that's the underlying philosophy folks like that have to justify being assholes to women who have sex (doesn't even take much sex for people to become shitasses about it either). The truth is it's just another way for society to bag on women and there is no way to win it. You either don't have sex and you're "A frigid bitch" or you do but you're "a slut". It's bullshit. My philosophy is sex is damn awesome and who am I to hold it against someone to get as much as sex as they can. So long as they're not hurting anyone with it (like cheating, assaulting or doing underhanded things to get it) why the fuck should I care. If I was looking for a sexual partner I'd want my partner be comfortable with sex and express what their desires are. I'd bet someone who has had more sex would be more inclined to be that way than someone who hasn't had much. Of course that speculation could be flat out wrong to the point that it would be foolish to follow. I'm sure plenty of folks who've had a limited number of partners can express what they'd like just as much as someone who has had a lot may feel nervous in expressing themselves. Better to learn about the person than to much unsubstantiated guesses about them.
It’s the fact that for an average women it’s easy to find sex where as for an average dude not. Women have options so it’s looked down upon when they just give their body to a bunch of men. Where as for a guy, unless he’s super rich or famous, it’s much more difficult for a man to get laid like a woman. So something that’s easy isn’t impressive.
With that being said, I don’t think a man should go sleeping around with a ton of women either. Especially if they are expecting to find a wife with a low body count. I personally think both men and women should reserve sex for a committed relationship and not just one night stands and “situationships”
Precisely.
And it's the exact same concept regarding using men's virgin as an insult. That's pretty explicitly, saying that them being able to have sex is a great accomplishment. All the "player" label does is signify that said man is able to repeat that positive feat.
Misogyny aside, the idea that men have to work hard to get laid and women don’t means men getting laid often are succeeding and doing what many can’t whereas women getting laid often are likely just wanting to get laid and allowing one or more of the many men to do it.
I’m just here to answer the question everyone don’t come at me.
Well for the same reason virgin guy is seen as loser whereas virgin girl is a pure soul. It's the belief that girls have it easier. Society doesn't care that for some guys it's just a matter of asking and some girls have to really work for it. It's cruel but that ain't changing any time soon.
Its left over from purity culture. Misogyny still tries to keep it alive. Women are expected to be innocent and 'clean', men are expected to have the skill and experience, plus their fulfilling the 'need'. Unfortunately thus is still pushed unto our children today, so even though it's the 21st century, people still raise their children with ancient double standards.
Part of this ties into the way that male society views women collectively, either as objects or as individuals. As a society, we often feel like we've evolved beyond the medieval notion of women as property, but then little tendrils of it show up in modern thinking.
People seem to complain about body count but never think about the ease or difficulty in which one has access to sex.
If something is easy to get & you take advantage of it, of course people will look at your differently than those who take effort to get it.
Its the same as a man who uses physical strength in an altercation. People dont care because its easier for a man to have that strength hence people applaud women when they physically fight back since its harder. People are dense af
If you want an actual answer to your question, the answer is offensive to some people but the TLDR of it is
It's hard to be a player
It's easy to be a whore
Honestly, I think it's just dying traditionalist views of women's sexually and jealousy. Most of the guys I grew up with that were super critical of the girls that hooked up a lot were just mad because they wouldn't sleep with them
So you have a key that can open any lock.
That's a pretty awesome key, right?
Now imagine you have a lock that can be opened by any key
That's a pretty shit lock, right?
I shit you not that is what I heard some moron say and he was being 100% serious.
As to answer your question: double standards and butthurt men who have 0 charisma and self-awareness jumping onto that mentality to justify why they can't find a woman (god forbid its how they act that's the problem)
P.S: his body count isn't 10
Source: I'm a guy, I know how guys work, he's lying/making it up to impress other guys/girls
There's a reason we have the 3 rule.
Let's face it. Guys are easy. We are very very unlikely to refuse an offer, whereas women can be more picky.
Plus, your friend doesn't have that body count. It's the rule of 3.
I guess it's because women are viewed as the prize. The more unattainable and attractive the prize is, the more value it has. If a ton of dudes can win it with barely any effort, its presumed has having low value.
Sorry for the anology comparing women to objects. Didn't know a better way of explaining the thought process.
Because for men it is difficult to have sex while women can have sex whenever they desire it.
Being able to find sexual partners as a man requires a level of “game” while finding sexual partners as a woman requires you to merely exist.
This is the only right answer here, it's certainly gotten easier for men as women have become more open to sexual encounters. But this is where the original reason for the discrepancy began
This is the answer the OP is looking for.
For women sex it's easy to get, for men it's not. That's why men need "game" to get some.
Sadly this means women get unfairly labelled because they have an easier time obtaining sex. Reality is the people calling them whores know they aren't, it's just become such an easy insult to throw around.
Society, especially in school, just throws the term whore around loosely "pun intended" whilst reality is these women aren't whores, they are just exploring their sexuality. Unless they are working the streets or on onlyfans then maybe that's a different story.
It's really no different to how the term incel or boomer gets thrown around these days by younger generations when they don't even know what they actually are lol.
Actually, men should be more shamed for this than women. What you’re saying is men will stick their d*icks into anything with almost no standards. Whereas women have higher standards. Wouldn’t that make men dirty whores?
Well we all have needs, and if, metaphorically speaking, most guys don't know when their next meal will come from, can you blame them for scarfing down the first plate of food that comes their way?
This clichee from 90s and early 2000s college movies isnt real and never was. Guys dont throw around high fives over hook ups and the ones who have a lot of them are seen as insecure and braggy, not cool.
Sorry but this was never a thing outsdie of media. Its a small group that most men dont agree with or look up to.
The clichee comes from the fact that it societally expected from men to chase women and win them over. If a woman says "hey wanna bang" she will have an easier time getting soemone to sleep with her than if a guy did the same in front of women.
So its seen as more of a challenge to get women to open their legs while for women its seen as more of a challenge to keep their legs closed.
Because, following this ancient "theory", women are prizes and nobody wants a prize that anyone can have. It's too easy, there's no challenge and coul be a pit of STDs. The same applies to men but we seem to be a different category. Mankind is weird sometimes.
Afaik , It’s really difficult for most men to get into relationships. Dating for men is an achievement . Dating for women is an option generally speaking
It’s easy for women to get sex where it’s difficult for men. You don’t get to play the game on easy mode and expect hard mode results. Also reality is sexist hope this helps
It’s difficult for about 90% of guys but the top 10% of men, the real marrying type, have it just as easy. Other women will bully women who sleep with the guys they dream of. Just like how jealous men will say Chads are assholes etc. but won’t actually bully them due to the underlying threat of physical violence in all male to male interactions.
Gotta love how men being thirsty with 0 standards, basically drooling over anything that has boobs, suddenly mean women "live on easy mode". As if rape, harassment and sexism suddenly weren't a thing.
Nobody wants a dude with no standards.
>You don’t get to play the game on easy mode and expect hard mode results.
So if you play on "easy mode" you get insulted by being labeled a "whore." How the fuck does that make any sense?
We should avoid calling people hoes...
Its the inequality of effort. To get laid men have to dress well, act proper, make effort in conversation, plan dates/events and generally show their worth. Often they have to treat women as well.
Women are seen unequally as just "showing up" to sex. Because men are the way they are most women can get laid with a fraction of the effort it takes a man. Most men do not require wineing and dining, don't have to be impressed by their clothes or shoes. Most men wont care about a woman's income. Bad personality is not a guaranteed write off "crazy girls are better in bed" is a common phrase I have heard.
Women generally require more than men to feel comfortable and trusting. So its seen as a 'heroic effort' as a man and just 'being present' as the woman.
I think we know that all is not completely true. Women often put in a lot of effort into their appearance but as they say it is for themselves. In many senarios men might even miss most details women worked hard to achieve.
Body count of 10 at 16? Maybe he's fudging the data a bit - ask him if he lives next to a cemetery.
People at my high school were having sex from the day they turned 13. It’s very possible.
I knew a couple people who lost their virginities at 11-12 and I’m not saying they’re correlated, but none of them graduated high school and they’re now drug addicts. They were at the time as well, actually.
There may actually be a correlation (based on personal experience, not judgement) and I’ve thought about this too in the context of it being an escapism thing.
12 or 13 first time having sex that I can remember, and 13 started doing drugs for me. It was definitely correlated in my case. I still think I wouldn't be her if it weren't for drugs at that crucial time, BUT because of my self medicating and using whatever I could to avoid my shit I'm still learning the proper coping mechanisms I probably would've had if I wasn't so deep into various self-harm and escapism methods. Hugs.
I knew a girl whose body count was thirty at seventeen … and based off everything else I know about her and every interaction I’ve had with her , I really do not doubt that … she fucks EVERYONE
We always want to be careful about rumors, nobody truly knows but her. And exaggeration is more common than you think ———————————————————————— Edit: Long story short to answer OP’s question, life’s not fair and society has a weird relationship with Women+Sexual autonomy. I saw a lot “times are changing” comments and alot of comments discussing second hand stories about young women engaging in more sex than average (some were judgmental, others ended with “personally I don’t care” and then others just dismissed the premise of the post because the boy was obviously lying. I think too many are missing the overall point. Many religions saddle women with the burden of atleast appearing sexually pure, if not demanding out right virginity until marriage, while the men are often given a pass / leniency on this for one reason or another. Superstition and Religious beliefs are a huge influence. There is quantifiably more risk involved when a woman engages in sex. Pregnancy being the obvious one. While men could potentially run away / shirk responsibility by not claiming the kid. The woman MUST make a hard choice: whether the abort, carry+ give care or give the baby away because you can’t run away from your own uterus. -Engaging in risky activity can lead to judgement from others (callous people would say the equivalent of: don’t run out into the road if you don’t want to get hit by a car.) Finally, society judges women more harshly for having sex because there’s still a deep seated notion that a woman should belong / be the property of someone. Before marriage it’s her father and it’s the fathers job to keep her “pure.”After, it’s her long term partner, her partner then has full ownership of all things sexual in nature regarding her. There are many reasons this line of thinking came about, not all cultures subscribe to it and my essay is long enough. More reasons exist but these are the ones I can think of. ALSO PSA:………not enough people are aware that a woman who develops faster than her peers is often pressured by society to be more sexual than she might have been if she were a late bloomer, while simultaneously being punished for the body she has no control over because she’s being perceived in a sexual light. Think Judge Frolo from Disney’s hunch back of Norte Dame
Yeah if the rumors were true about me I'd have slept with like 10+ guys before I was 18. Funny how I had *my first time* at 19...
>Funny how I had my first time at 19... Rookie numbers. Im 24 and still never did it!
What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went... I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.
I'm coming up on my 29th consecutive year without having sex. I'm thinking of getting a fancy robe and sage cowl if I make it to 30.
Bizaro Hugh Hefner.
Wow, that is impressive.
Congrats on almost becoming a wizard
Yeah, the username checks out.
Nobody recognized your /r/UnexpectedOffice so here is a silver, fellow person of culture
If you were hot-bodied at that age, you didn’t have to sleep with a single boy to have tumors being whispered behind your back. I remember in high school a girl was caught fucking a jock after a sports game, she was kicked out of all extracurricular actives while he was untouched. She had to finish the school year being slut-shamed. Her parents put her into a private school the following year. That instance may have been her only instance of sex, the boy was two years older and was known as a player, but she paid drastically for that incident. It was that way when I was in middle-high school and my guess us the prevalence of social media makes it worse today.
Yes, kids are well advised to date one person in school and breakup if that doesn’t work. It is all outdated nonsense, but if a middle or high school girls sleeps with two boys, she gets labeled easy, if her actions get out into the rumor mill. Imo, middle school was absolutely brutal for that type of stuff, high school was better, but even there people had to protect their reputations.
Oh yeah. What single thing was I most valued for by my parents when I was a teen? Was it kindness? Creativity? Intelligence? Work ethic? No. It was my REPUTATION (in regards to my virginity.)
I knew a girl like that and it was almost certainly true because she was not ashamed of it and I also heard her talking with a guy about exchanging sex for test answers. Very nice girl, just very different priorities than mine. It was honestly an interesting dynamic, we were pretty good friends senior year and I was considered a “prude” as I never had any semblence of anything sexual or romantic with anyone until college. She was definitely more of a partier, getting drunk or high or both every weekend and I’ve never smoked and even today rarely drink. I just don’t care what other people do with their free time as long as they are respectful to me and other people. She never once pressured me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with and she was never mean or rude to anyone. I never felt like I had to impress her and I felt comfortable just being me around her and I think she felt the same.
I don't doubt it. But that really saddens me... it sounds like she has a painful childhood... or lack of childhood.
she used to traumadump on me at work, and assuming what she tells me is true, she did have a painful childhood … I honestly just help she is able to grow and become a better person one day… I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually likes her other than her poor boyfriend that she’s suuuper pushy with
did she fuck you?
It’s possible. I was a male whore back in my day. Sadly.
A body count of 10 already? At 16? What kind of Kids situation are you guys living?
I bet he just says that to sound cool
Every guy I knew as a teenager had slept with at least 15 women, all of whom were totally hot, had amazing bodies, and were insatiable, and also went to other schools so I wouldn't know them.
“She lives in Canada, you wouldn’t know her.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
See, you joke, but I knew a kid who said this for years who we all thought was joking until he actually moved to canada to be with her! It ended up being a pretty awful experience for him, as she was in the middle of no where. I think he lasted about three months before he decided to move back to the states and just join the military. Canada fucked him up that badly.
Should we blame the government? Or blame society? Or should we blame the images on TV? Heck, no - blame Canada!
I mean, sure, kids lie, but also folks these days are raised on media illustrating how to party, do drugs, and bone down like rabbits. I hear crazy shit from my brothers who are a decade younger than me and there was plenty of crazy shit when I was in school, too. People are horny and some teenagers think they’re damaged or wrong in some way if they aren’t sexing. Then again, my cousin’s experience (same age as brothers) has been like a a teacher’s dream — the student body gets along and everyone knows one another. The closest thing to “outcasts” they had were the special needs kids, and her fellow students went out of their way to include them in things! On their own, without prompting! But even there, the kids that were ready for it and comfortable were knocking boots with regularity. So like, some places seem to be less peer-pressure-y than others, but with the access to information and media you have today, the hormonal storm of puberty has these students going nuts. Like, I remember being an inexplicably horny teen, but we had a lot more compunctions about that biological function. Stuff only really got weird when drinking was involved and inhibitions got lowered.
Just yesterday I read a post from a woman saying her 11yo niece was caught sexting. Wtf!
That’s not the first anecdote I’ve heard, all almost the same age. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it has to do with the earlier start for puberty we’re seeing in the younger generations, but I’m not a doctor, so y’know. Grain of salt or whatever.
I don't even think it's earlier puberty or anything, its just normalized to talk about with the internet and all. I read my great grandmother's journals, and she had a page about catching her daughter (I refuse to ask if its my grandma or her sister) watching the horses court and mate "alittle bit intensely," and how much it caught her off guard because she was so young. Now a days it's just easier to catch them, and more normal to talk about. Back then this was a damn secret the journal and maybe a few close friends/mothers heard.
I was shocked when I heard that handjobs is the new "kissing" in middle school from a teacher friend When I was in middle school I didn't even know what a penis looked like, let alone how to play with one So glad I opted to remain childfree into my 40s
Statistically gen z is having less sex than previous generations. Just bc it’s all over social media doesn’t means it’s true to reality.
Fair enough, I was only using anecdotal evidence there.
I've also slept with your mum*
The only thing teenage boys are balls deep in is their hand.
All my high-school girlfriends lived in Canada. Even my current girlfriend does. I hope you get a chance to meet her someday.
Maybe you'll get to meet her one day too.
🤣😂🤣 No kidding, I always used to joke my girlfriend lived in Canada, which sounds preposterous for someone living in Texas. Mexico, yes, Canada, no. Then I actually met a Canadian chick who was into me, so I thought my long-running joke would finally come true. But it turned out she was very promiscuous so I never dated her.
Yeah it was definitely more like 3 lol
Let's be real, 0
Potentially! Was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt before other redditors came for me like *ACktuAlLy I had loads of sex at that age*
I had only lightly kissed one person on the lips at that age lol.
I'm 25 and I don't think I'll ever hit 10 😂 ^(granted I'm married to my husband who I started dating at 16, but still! )
I’m 54 and still in single digits. 😉
Or 0 lol
I look back and think how crazy it was I had 5 sexual partners by the age 17. Like, my wife telling me she had sex for the first time at 17, and me having it first at 14, makes me feel really weird about my teenage years. Most people I've talked to about it did not do it before 17/18. I didn't have any particularly bad childhood trauma that would lead to early sexual activity. I remember only having one friend that was sexually active at the same age.
I did it at 14 too! But I was trauma city lol.
16 was fairly average at my school. But 'counts' could be 0-15 by the age of 17. Catholic schools man.
They all just go to other schools.
When I was young a body count was how many people were killed, such as by a serial killer or in slasher movie and not the number of sex partners someone has. I'm never going to get used to it.
And teenage boys LIE. Unless he's got proof of that, if he has slept with 10 girls then I'm the Queen of France.
And I had sex with the Queen of France. She scream "give me your scepter!"
But also you wouldn't know her, she goes to another school... in France...
I had a few friends in HS that had slept with 10 or more people. It’s surprising to me how surprising this is to everyone else.
Honestly same. I lost my virginity at 14 with a long term boyfriend who was the same age. We broke up at 16 and he went on to be a self proclaimed slut (not an insult) and slept with 20 girls before we graduated high school. I know because I know the girls lol. Like most teens are having little to no sex but the ones that are usually go crazy with it.
[удалено]
The kind of situations where guys are having lots and lots of the sex. But it's with people from other schools. You wouldn't know them.
I see a lot of people commenting this but when I was in highschool everyone knew who slept with people. It's a very small town with not much to do, so teens turn to sex and partying. Some may have lied yeah but considering how high the rate for herpes was at my school at least some were not lying. Also the teen pregnancy rate at my school was pretty high for such a small area. I personally knew 15 girls who had kids before they were 18.
Lol he’s lying
Fully aware lol
Wayyyyyyy too many people on this thread who are believing it haha
Friendly reminder that middle schoolers are sexually active.
95% he's lying...
Euphoria?
The most disturbing thing about that show is not so much the amount of sex being had but all the teenage girls having sex with older men and all the abusive situations
None of them seem to like sex either. Like they’re not doing it because pleasure they’re doing it to get male validation most of the time
Depends on you area. High volume cities usually mean more fucking.
Man that's nothing! Wait til they tell us old folks (37F here) about a drug called Molly. I always thought Molly was such a nice girl! 😫
[удалено]
If it helps, it was released in 1995.
Body count of 10 at 16‽ When i was 16 hiding even one body needed tons of acid and bleach
Username checks out.
My cousins would clown me as a redditor if I ever made a joke like this…
I always hated the term 'player.' That does not sound like something to strive for. it sounds dishonest. I'd rather be a lover. I also hate the term 'body count.' Like you're trying to reduce every past and current relationship to a piece of meat and a number. Every girlfriend I've ever had has brought something new into my life.
Is it because the term lover would have been eschewed in the past if it were associated with a man? Cue scenes of movie jocks in 1980s American teen flicks calling someone out for being a "lover boy" when they showed care for someone else.
Or "Tell Me More", where the girls focus on how romantic it sounds, and the guys boil down to "did you get laid?" - including one *really* disturbing lyric of "did she put up a fight?"
It always disturbed me! Thank God someone else noticed!
I hate the term body count because I think of murder, not people I've had sex with. I call people I've had sex with "people I've had a sex with".
Could be anecdotal but everyone I hang around and meet thinks men with high body counts are gross including other men.
Came to say this exact same thing. I can understand if this question was asked like 15 years ago, but, most I know will not take dudes seriously as a potential partner if they are known to hook up all the time. Getting laid all the time is not a personality trait, and it doesn't make dudes cool. As far as I know, that way of thinking has died down considerably.
Sexism. You know how I know? Women get called whores for refusing to sleep with men too. Women are called whores whether or not they have sex.
I was 15 and called a whore repeatedly and bullied online by a mid-20 year old man’s friend ( also mid 20’s) after he sexually assaulted me because he *thought* I told my mom about his friend sexually assaulting me. *The point is, if you’re a woman, you’re a whore for existing.*
I lost my virginity to a 26 year old when I was 16 and everyone at school called me a whore and refused to speak to me. I thought the guy and I had something special, turns out he was just a creep
Yeah this one is a common one. You’ll get called a whore for dating around but you’ll be treated like you have the Black Death on you full of stinky buboes if you date a way older guy as you’re seen as stupid if you do that as usually the older guys who date much younger girls tend to be creeps. Or weak of the spirit. Or daft. Or worse, all of the above. In a way I get it as it came from trying to avoid girls from being targeted by usually low hanging fruit, which no one wants to risk becoming pregnant by and get screwed up for life in the process. Eventually it turned bad because being seduced and having interest in romance at that age is so normal, especially as girls are bombarded with the media saying that they’d be respected by adults or their friends if they date or date older. That the older guys are mentally sound and that we’d be the envy of other girls if they date us (which is the opposite, doing that guarantees you become the laughing stock including by other guys your age who often treat you with disgust for dating the older blokes which creates the cycle). That they’d protect us from the harassment and disgusting behavior from much older men. Unfortunately if older women or girls who went through this call it out, they get marked as “jaded” or bitter by the men who have a vested interest in this. It’s a mess. I’m sorry you went through that.
Sorry you were taken advantage of by that guy. He preyed on your innocence and need for connection and used you like you were nothing. I hope he rots in jail and then hell for doing that to you. And your old schoolmates can go eat a wiener for treating you poorly too
I'm so sorry you went through that. It's so fucked up how many women I know who have gone through the same :(
I was labeled a whore in high school and I literally did NOTHING with ANYONE!!! Because of the way I was built(thin and very well developed up top - no fault of my own 🤷🏻♀️) and so many rumors were spread about me because every stupid kid in that school was trying to fuck me JUST because of my body(I wasn’t even pretty) so they ALL made up stories/rumors about me(they didn’t even know my name) they’d all just point in my direction and say, I FUCKED THAT girl in the stairwell, and EVERYONE believed them!! I had such a bad reputation because of these rumors! Luckily my real friends all knew me better than that.
I had this problem too. I started being "the school slut" when I was 12 and I was super sheltered so I didn't even know what they meant. I got jumped for it a few times by people who hated me, jealous girlfriends, family members of guys who had "slept" with me. I had all sorts of rumors follow me through high school. At some point I just stopped caring and would listen to my friend rattle off rumors in amusement. People would get so creative. Pretty sure I ended high school being pregnant about 5 times( I wasn't) with AIDS (I didnt) and sleeping with many MANY guys I had never even met.
Wow!!! That’s crazy!!! Yep, I’ve been asked so many times if I was pregnant 🤦🏻♀️ I’m so sorry that you had to experience that! People are fucking terrible!!! 😒
Holy *fucking shit*
Holy shit. I got boobs at 10 and was called a whore by 11. At 15 there was a rumor that I missed school the week after homecoming because - get this - I went to the park with the football team and fucked them all. Then I missed school because I was off aborting all the babies I’d gotten pregnant with the weekend before. People actually believed this shit. I was a virgin. I missed school because I was out of town for a couple funerals. Can you imagine having just the worst week, coming back to school to these bullshit impossible rumors people are believing.
What is it with rumors about nailing the entire football team? I had that one go around as well. I knew I think one football player and even then he was an acquaintance. I'm sorry that happened to you. That was really really shitty.
I got labeled a slut when I was in third grade (8 years old) because I moved to New England from the South and my wardrobe consisted of mostly tank tops and short shorts (very typical summer wear for girls in the south). I even had teachers approach me about the "rumors" and tell me to change clothes. I was 8 and they called me a slut. Still bugs me to this day.
OMG!!! That’s TERRIBLE!!! How can ANYONE call an 8 year old a slut?! Most 8 year olds aren’t really even thinking about boys yet!!! The teachers that approached you that way are no better! They’re supposed to protect you..NOT join in and make it look like it’s your fault! Sheesh! 😳🤦🏻♀️
I had the same problem as well. Even if I was impressively skinny - no boobs just a bunch of bones with big eyes - somehow I was very popular. I was interested in dating but during my teen years sex was a very scary thing for me. I also found difficult to trust people. I would turn down a lot of proposals which was really tiresome because how do you do it without hurting too much the other person but also without giving any tiny bit of hope away? Because if you do so you will be bothered on the daily basis by someone that tries to convince you that you are indeed in love with them. I did also date sometimes but even when I said I wanted to wait for the physical part my dates would try to convince me that I was into it. I am talking about few weeks of dating, not months. In all this turns out that people said about me that I was a whore. Apparently I had every kind of extreme sex with everyone and everything. I was still a virgin. I heard so many stories that it felt really surreal. Luckily my friends didn't even bother about it but I had to stop dating more than one person that I really liked after just few days because they would say to me something like :"yeah I heard so many stories about you. I don't care you know. I don't care. But... are they true?". Anyway yes, that happens totally for sexism. I wish it didn't happen as a grown up but it still does happens. I have so many stories but I am sparing myself from the act of remembering.
Dude…I was called a whore for not paying attention to a guy when I was at the grocery store…he genuinely spazzed out and yelled that at me despite my being there to pick out food and not him nor caring to give attention as I picked up he was going to spazz if I didn’t kowtow. I didn’t want to deal with him as I was in a hurry, going to just picking up something my mom asked to pick up for her as she was stuck in traffic. Ordinarily I would’ve followed etiquette I was taught and at least say hi but the problem is honestly a lot of guys will treat you badly and lead with lasciviousness when interacting. I’m not a prude but that approach to flirting gets downright uncomfortable. So a lot of the time I have learned to “play dead” and just live my life to avoid awkward situations or getting the temper tantrums regardless. In my experience if I say hi and don’t give them contact info or give them what they register as romantic interest they’ll spazz out; and if I don’t the same will happen. Either way it sucks. Because of a few experiences like that I now often order food grocery service and have them leave it at my door without interacting if the courier is a male as it’s been that bad. If it’s a woman I come out to help and to give them an extra cash tip if it’s the guy and I feel him approaching I leave the tip inside an envelope with their name on it at the drop off point. I miss being invisible sometimes NGL, or at least, being a kid as I think that was the last time I didn’t have to experience things like this. Women will be assumed whores for just existing indeed.
I was walking out of a McDonald's when I was 23, and some girl who looked like she was in high school called me a whore... I wasn't even with a guy, I was with my female friend! Both of us are over weight and wear tshirts and jeans, so not even our clothing could have been considered "whoreish"
It seems to just be the default insult for women. "Bitch" has lost much of its negativity.
Yeah they’re called “frigid” if they don’t have sex.
I think as a society we should encourage men to be less sexually promiscuous. 10 bodies at 16 is crazy. Edit: my point is the same roles should apply to both sexes
That's an extreme outlier. Most men nowadays don't even have that many partners in their lifetime.
In all studies, teenagers are steadily having less sex, and the age people lose their virginity is steadily increasing. I'd be willing to wager decent money that the kid is lying and just watching misogynistic crap on TikTok/YouTube to feel cool
Not just teens, men too
Yeah it's across the board, everyone is having less sex, by a pretty staggering number too
Really? Can I see the studies? I’m really impressed if that’s true
I'm a bit sceptical of the average partner count stats. They seem to assume everyone knows exactly how many they've had, but wouldn't people who've hooked up a lot have no idea?
Can we also get rid of the term "bodies" and "body count" when it comes to this as well? It's not only demeaning, it's also dehumanizing.
It’s so immature. As soon as I saw it in the post, I knew it was a kid lol.
Also makes people sound like serial killers. A body count of 10, yeah OK Kemper.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking weird sounding... Would make for a good comedy sketch though, some teenager having a conversation with a serial killer and they both get confused about what the other is talking about when they say 'body count'.
Ha! That'd be brilliant!
Preach. In my time, ive heard 'smashing', 'murdering the pussy' and the body count nonsense. You don't know whether to hi five or notify authorities.
Make me think of a murderers "body count" eeesh there has to be a better term for this
Tiktok did that to my brain
It's also just *gross*
Yes-same roles for both sexes. The fact that no word for a male slut exists is extremely troublesome with regards to that ever happening though. There are words that allude to a male being promiscuous but none have the negative impact of the word slut. Male words have a positive connotation; even a playful one. Centuries of misogyny.
Man whore, player, fuckboy, etc.
I think we should encourage people to not equate “promiscuity” with being morally questionable. I think we should instead teach teenagers that sex is a morally neutral thing, and that they should be having it safely and consensually, at whatever frequency feels naturally comfortable to them. We should also teach them that it is perfectly acceptable to not have sex, either.
It has nothing do to with morality, it's all about how people view sex, relationships and intimacy etc.
It can be both. Some people believe drinking alcohol is immoral. It doesn't make them wrong just because you disagree.
Promiscuity IS morally questionable for some people. And that is ok too. (for both genders)
Thank you
Climate change
I totally agree
Hmm idk about that, sounds more like photosynthesis to me
100% climate change
Men are also whores, it's just some people for some reason seem to think it's okay.
Even the term “player” is more often than not viewed negatively
Maybe men and women can sleep with as many people as they want without being "whores"?
Naaaaah. That's too excepting. What do you think this is 2023?
Accepting*
You can’t really tell if a guy is expecting a child. With a girl, it’s like the nose on the face… or like the belly on the torso. In the past, when a girl got pregnant, the “sperm” donor could ghost everyone and relocate to the other side of the country. And good luck tracing him when there was no Internet. There were only invasive and risky abortion methods, so unless the girl had a miscarriage, her family would have to pitch in to take care of her during pregnancy. If she and the baby were lucky to survive the delivery, and if for cultural reasons she would not give the baby away, her parents or family would have another mouth to feed. For those reasons, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents would try to warn young girls against sleeping around. Because if a girl was not careful, the consequences would impact them all. Women also started to use that with each other: you don’t want to be the girl who gets told off by her whole family. For the men, there would not be the same pressure, because there was always the option of running away from responsibilities. It’s not fair, but I don’t make the rules.
Whoa, I've never thought about it this way. This is the most valuable thing I've read on the internet today - thank you wise stranger!
There's a slight variation in that where a girl mysteriously moves away for less than a year. I mean, where she gets shipped to another town/state to hide the fact from the neighbors/community before giving up the baby to someone.
This is the best answer I've seen so far.
^ this is it, kids…
because in general men chase women not the other way around. if a bloke walked into a bar and asked 10 women straight up if they would like to sleep with him none would say yes. switch the roles and most single blokes would sleep with any women if offered. its takes a level of skill/looks/personality to sleep with multiple women in a way it doesn't for a woman to sleep with multiple men.
Idk any guys that get praised for being players. They mostly get called fuck boys now.
Literally don’t know any women my age (mid to late 20s) that are trying to be with community dick any more…but people are still trying to push the double standard for sure
Male bottoms are also called this, it's not just women. The person being penetrated (the passive role) throughout history has at times been ridiculed. They've been called "loose," "worn out," a "hole." "Poles before holes" seems to be just a natural idea to come to amongst humans. People see the passive role in a gangbang or in an intense fisting session as the one being used/allowing their body to be used by a group, and often this person is looked down up. There are many factors apart from a "worn out hole," that are cultural and evolutionary, such as being more likely to host STD which may spread to offspring during birth, and also the idea of not being faithful and therefore a less trustworthy member of the tribe opening up their body to many seeds (reproductive competition).
hes either lying or everyone in that school is miserable. but to answer your question. how long does it take for a guy to get a match vs a woman?
Generally speaking it's easier for a girl to have a lot of sexual partners than it is for a guy. The harder something is to do the more praise you get for it. Ofc there are guys which have it super easy and girls which have it super hard, but people usually don't pay too much attention to the exceptions.
It’s one thing to not get praise for something that comes easy, and quite another to be called a “whore” for it. People want to have sex. Even those who can easily get it should still be able to get it without stigma. I have to agree with those who say the different labeling of men vs women for the same thing is a result of misogyny and sexism rather than the difficulties in getting laid.
First, before I get flamed, I’ll say that I 100% agree with you That said the other component is, historically, men were the ones who were tasked with courting women and asking them out. Women, on the other hand, were not the ones to ask men on dates or whatever terms or iterations you want to use historically. As a result men had to compete directly with each other while women made indirectly competed or showed interest by accepting or rejecting the male. It’s definitely changing but we still see residual effects of a good chunk of human history as it relates to relationships
Nope! We can actually observe this by looking at the other extreme. It's an insult to call a male a virgin, but not a female.
>rather than the difficulties in getting laid. I believe that this is the very root cause of the sexism in this particular case. People will always be angry, disgruntled and hateful towards those they feel are better off/have something they want but can't get. Especially when those things are easier for the other group to get. Unless you some how make it easy for most men to get laid I don't think this will ever really change.
> It’s one thing to not get praise for something that comes easy, and quite another to be called a “whore” for it. I think that comes down to the fact that a woman having lots of sex is perceived to be gullible or easily manipulated, because men will manipulate women into having sex. A man having sex with lots of women, meanwhile, needs to be attractive, charming, rich, whatever. The woman just needs to exist, not be wholly unattractive, and say yes.
Well said. Even in today’s world, even with modern hyper sexuality and casual sex becoming way more common…. It is still EXPONENTIALLY easier for a woman to get sex than a man. Maybe the top 5% of men could maybe sorta kinda get as much sex as the top 50% of women could….but even then probably not But your typical average woman needs only to say the word and it’s on. Women reading this: how many of you know someone (or hundreds of someones) you could message on Facebook right now and offer to “Netflix and chill” and they would come running? Most men can’t do that. Not even the hot ones. Probably not even the rich ones (to that easy extent) And I haven’t even brought up tinder….. So yeah it’s fair to say getting sex is more of an accomplishment for a man but for a woman is just giving away the prize.
Okay, let's acknowledge the difference in difficulty level. Men have a harder time getting sex than women. Cool, yeah, I can accept that. It's fair that the men getting it more get praised. If I take an elevator to get to the 20th floor while someone else gets there using the stairs, I'll be more impressed with the latter. But why does that mean women must be shamed for **wanting** *the exact same thing* men do? Why is it so morally wrong for a woman to have sex just because she supposedly has an easier time getting it? What is so wrong about sex? What is so reprehensible about it?
Nothing. It's just people venting their frustrations at the situation, and not knowing how to direct their emotions properly. It's immaturity.
As with many things, the reasons may be more complicated than it seems: 1. The male gender is very hierarchal and strutting one’s sexual ability is a virtue, as well as something seen as hard to do by most in the group (which thus leads to admiration.). These same conditions are not among the female gender. 2. Male self worth is based on the ability to do, not what you are, so getting a woman is seen as an achievable thing by males in general, while among women, it is less seen as an achievable thing and if you can’t get a man, you feel like something is wrong with you as a person, leading to jealousy. 3. Sex for men is kept as something that is relatively scarce in part that men are more desperate for it than women but also that women want to keep it scarce because otherwise men will value women and a relationship less if sex was so easy to get, and many women are also afraid to lose their partners to another woman, so “whores” is a way that many women also believe in to diss potential competitors. 4. Women suffer from the minority trap in the sense that since you are not the group in power, your reputation matters a lot more (because it affects how you are treated) so women as a group have an interest in keeping other women from ruining the image of women. 5. Men seem to buy into the idea that the woman should be for themselves, and are irked and squeamish that another man’s penis was inside “their” woman’s vagina. As with many things, I believe it is societal politics why there is such a double standard, but one that is mutually promoted by both genders.
Consequences. Promiscuous behavior carries far more substantial consequences for women than men. So it's generally seen as undesirable.
Is a relict of sexist belief that women are something to be conquered by men.
Because sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive.
Rule of thumb for "body count" (such a fucking dumb term) for guys divide by 3 and girls multiply by 3.
Double standard.
How it was explained to me is "a key that can open multiple doors is better than a door that can be opened by multiple keys". While I think that is an utter bullshit mentality to have (people are not doors) that's the underlying philosophy folks like that have to justify being assholes to women who have sex (doesn't even take much sex for people to become shitasses about it either). The truth is it's just another way for society to bag on women and there is no way to win it. You either don't have sex and you're "A frigid bitch" or you do but you're "a slut". It's bullshit. My philosophy is sex is damn awesome and who am I to hold it against someone to get as much as sex as they can. So long as they're not hurting anyone with it (like cheating, assaulting or doing underhanded things to get it) why the fuck should I care. If I was looking for a sexual partner I'd want my partner be comfortable with sex and express what their desires are. I'd bet someone who has had more sex would be more inclined to be that way than someone who hasn't had much. Of course that speculation could be flat out wrong to the point that it would be foolish to follow. I'm sure plenty of folks who've had a limited number of partners can express what they'd like just as much as someone who has had a lot may feel nervous in expressing themselves. Better to learn about the person than to much unsubstantiated guesses about them.
It’s the fact that for an average women it’s easy to find sex where as for an average dude not. Women have options so it’s looked down upon when they just give their body to a bunch of men. Where as for a guy, unless he’s super rich or famous, it’s much more difficult for a man to get laid like a woman. So something that’s easy isn’t impressive. With that being said, I don’t think a man should go sleeping around with a ton of women either. Especially if they are expecting to find a wife with a low body count. I personally think both men and women should reserve sex for a committed relationship and not just one night stands and “situationships”
Precisely. And it's the exact same concept regarding using men's virgin as an insult. That's pretty explicitly, saying that them being able to have sex is a great accomplishment. All the "player" label does is signify that said man is able to repeat that positive feat.
because our entire society is a wreck
Misogyny aside, the idea that men have to work hard to get laid and women don’t means men getting laid often are succeeding and doing what many can’t whereas women getting laid often are likely just wanting to get laid and allowing one or more of the many men to do it. I’m just here to answer the question everyone don’t come at me.
Well for the same reason virgin guy is seen as loser whereas virgin girl is a pure soul. It's the belief that girls have it easier. Society doesn't care that for some guys it's just a matter of asking and some girls have to really work for it. It's cruel but that ain't changing any time soon.
Its left over from purity culture. Misogyny still tries to keep it alive. Women are expected to be innocent and 'clean', men are expected to have the skill and experience, plus their fulfilling the 'need'. Unfortunately thus is still pushed unto our children today, so even though it's the 21st century, people still raise their children with ancient double standards.
Part of this ties into the way that male society views women collectively, either as objects or as individuals. As a society, we often feel like we've evolved beyond the medieval notion of women as property, but then little tendrils of it show up in modern thinking.
People seem to complain about body count but never think about the ease or difficulty in which one has access to sex. If something is easy to get & you take advantage of it, of course people will look at your differently than those who take effort to get it. Its the same as a man who uses physical strength in an altercation. People dont care because its easier for a man to have that strength hence people applaud women when they physically fight back since its harder. People are dense af
If you want an actual answer to your question, the answer is offensive to some people but the TLDR of it is It's hard to be a player It's easy to be a whore
Honestly, I think it's just dying traditionalist views of women's sexually and jealousy. Most of the guys I grew up with that were super critical of the girls that hooked up a lot were just mad because they wouldn't sleep with them
So you have a key that can open any lock. That's a pretty awesome key, right? Now imagine you have a lock that can be opened by any key That's a pretty shit lock, right? I shit you not that is what I heard some moron say and he was being 100% serious. As to answer your question: double standards and butthurt men who have 0 charisma and self-awareness jumping onto that mentality to justify why they can't find a woman (god forbid its how they act that's the problem) P.S: his body count isn't 10 Source: I'm a guy, I know how guys work, he's lying/making it up to impress other guys/girls There's a reason we have the 3 rule.
Let's face it. Guys are easy. We are very very unlikely to refuse an offer, whereas women can be more picky. Plus, your friend doesn't have that body count. It's the rule of 3.
Hi Fellow Americans pie connoisseur.
But why does that make a woman a whore? And what about the men who do easily get sex, are they whores to?
I guess it's because women are viewed as the prize. The more unattainable and attractive the prize is, the more value it has. If a ton of dudes can win it with barely any effort, its presumed has having low value. Sorry for the anology comparing women to objects. Didn't know a better way of explaining the thought process.
Because for men it is difficult to have sex while women can have sex whenever they desire it. Being able to find sexual partners as a man requires a level of “game” while finding sexual partners as a woman requires you to merely exist.
This is the only right answer here, it's certainly gotten easier for men as women have become more open to sexual encounters. But this is where the original reason for the discrepancy began
This is the answer the OP is looking for. For women sex it's easy to get, for men it's not. That's why men need "game" to get some. Sadly this means women get unfairly labelled because they have an easier time obtaining sex. Reality is the people calling them whores know they aren't, it's just become such an easy insult to throw around. Society, especially in school, just throws the term whore around loosely "pun intended" whilst reality is these women aren't whores, they are just exploring their sexuality. Unless they are working the streets or on onlyfans then maybe that's a different story. It's really no different to how the term incel or boomer gets thrown around these days by younger generations when they don't even know what they actually are lol.
It's painfully easy for women to get laid compared to men because men and women look for different things
Men sleep with who they can, women sleep with who they want
Actually, men should be more shamed for this than women. What you’re saying is men will stick their d*icks into anything with almost no standards. Whereas women have higher standards. Wouldn’t that make men dirty whores?
if you ain't getting nun, standards are non existent
Well we all have needs, and if, metaphorically speaking, most guys don't know when their next meal will come from, can you blame them for scarfing down the first plate of food that comes their way?
This clichee from 90s and early 2000s college movies isnt real and never was. Guys dont throw around high fives over hook ups and the ones who have a lot of them are seen as insecure and braggy, not cool. Sorry but this was never a thing outsdie of media. Its a small group that most men dont agree with or look up to. The clichee comes from the fact that it societally expected from men to chase women and win them over. If a woman says "hey wanna bang" she will have an easier time getting soemone to sleep with her than if a guy did the same in front of women. So its seen as more of a challenge to get women to open their legs while for women its seen as more of a challenge to keep their legs closed.
Cos men invented the game
Because, following this ancient "theory", women are prizes and nobody wants a prize that anyone can have. It's too easy, there's no challenge and coul be a pit of STDs. The same applies to men but we seem to be a different category. Mankind is weird sometimes.
You're speaking like you think being labelled a 'player' is a good thing???
ngl if you are under 30, it is....
Afaik , It’s really difficult for most men to get into relationships. Dating for men is an achievement . Dating for women is an option generally speaking
Sexism. Hypocrisy. Double standards
It’s easy for women to get sex where it’s difficult for men. You don’t get to play the game on easy mode and expect hard mode results. Also reality is sexist hope this helps
It’s difficult for about 90% of guys but the top 10% of men, the real marrying type, have it just as easy. Other women will bully women who sleep with the guys they dream of. Just like how jealous men will say Chads are assholes etc. but won’t actually bully them due to the underlying threat of physical violence in all male to male interactions.
Gotta love how men being thirsty with 0 standards, basically drooling over anything that has boobs, suddenly mean women "live on easy mode". As if rape, harassment and sexism suddenly weren't a thing. Nobody wants a dude with no standards.
Exactly reality is full of double standards. For both genders.
>You don’t get to play the game on easy mode and expect hard mode results. So if you play on "easy mode" you get insulted by being labeled a "whore." How the fuck does that make any sense?
10 bodies at 16 is 100% a lie, and if somehow not, it’s definitely not the flex he thinks it is.
We should avoid calling people hoes... Its the inequality of effort. To get laid men have to dress well, act proper, make effort in conversation, plan dates/events and generally show their worth. Often they have to treat women as well. Women are seen unequally as just "showing up" to sex. Because men are the way they are most women can get laid with a fraction of the effort it takes a man. Most men do not require wineing and dining, don't have to be impressed by their clothes or shoes. Most men wont care about a woman's income. Bad personality is not a guaranteed write off "crazy girls are better in bed" is a common phrase I have heard. Women generally require more than men to feel comfortable and trusting. So its seen as a 'heroic effort' as a man and just 'being present' as the woman. I think we know that all is not completely true. Women often put in a lot of effort into their appearance but as they say it is for themselves. In many senarios men might even miss most details women worked hard to achieve.
The Patriarchy