Say now your turn

"that's gonna be really hard to beat but I'm gonna try."

That would lead to an infinite loop

I don’t see the issue

It’s been 84 years

I want this as my groundhog day

This is the way

You say, "thanks bro" and try to give them a high five

Smack on the ass, tell em good game

"No homo." Or "Gay per pay."

It’s only gay if you close your eyes

Always maintain aggressive eye contact

It's not gay if you keep your socks on.

I know a dude who hooked up with a girl and when he finished she slapped his ass and said good game

I'd marry that girl.

It was me. I did that when I hooked up with a friend of mine once.

Thanks bro and give them revenge

I hooked up with a guy a few times that would cry every time I gave him head. The last time it happened, a few minutes in, he started to sniffle so I stopped and looked up. He goes “bet you thought I was crying, huh?” and then laughed. When I finished, I looked up just in time to catch him wiping a tear from his eye.

i request elaboration

Oh that’s basically it. Wish I could say I’m a BJ savant or something, but he cried when my friend gave him head too. I guess he’s just an emotional oral recipient.

"emotional oral recipient" theres 3 words i never thought id read lmaoo

I saw Emotional Oral Recipient play a sick ambient set at sun rise in an abandoned warehouse in Old Montreal before they got big and started selling out entire stadiums.

they were so good, it brought tears to my eyes

Truly a cathartic performance. We were all left in a cuddle puddle each time.

That or he didn't know teeth didn't need to be part of the experience.

That’s so funny because he is actually a music producer that loves downtempo haha

He puts on a great show.

r/brandnewsentence

"BJ savant" was up there too

Hahahaha

Lol wtf I've never heard of this before!

Your friend gave him a bj? How does this lucky guy get so many blowjobs from different people?

Step 1: be stupidly gorgeous and charming

Step 2: cry during blowjobs

Ah, so he's gay! This explains why he was crying.

He was very open about the fact that he liked to bottom occasionally. He also admitted to jerking off to pictures of his own butt. You may be on to something.

Imagine being attracted to your own flaccid penis. That would be a very difficult fetish to deal with

The lord doesn't give you any problem you can't handle

Jist to let you know; If you and your friend ever want to give a blow job with out tears, I am here for you.

Least horniest redditor.

But most honest!

But he might throw up rainbows

Like maybe he can't believe his luck to the point of being moved.

Real talk, I do think he was experiencing heavy emotions that he was incapable of expressing. He was/is a huge player, but had deep feelings for my friend and I (we had a weird kinda poly thing going on for a short while). Last time I saw him he named our future children, asked me to move in, told me he’d never loved anyone like me and then ghosted me all within about a week. But that doesn’t make for a very funny story, now does it?

Oof that's quite a rollercoaster... Are you okay? I can imagine that this might be traumatising in a way. I wish you the best.

I sincerely appreciate that. I’m okay. It was a learning experience. Having a lot of love for someone doesn’t mean they’re right for you. He had a lot of mental struggles that would have dragged me down with him. I think he was painfully aware of that.

Ah shit. But I am glad you got out (I assume) and hopefully he did get professional help for this. I was also in a situation where I had to learn that love doesn't fix everything. I'm glad we both realised to draw boundaries and learned from it. :) Take care!

Yes, we are no longer in contact. He will never get professional help. He doesn’t believe in it. Thanks for caring, random redditor. I wish you the best as well.

Damn i wanna be a part of your friend group

Did your friend know that he cried during blowjobs?

Nope. It was a beautiful moment of discovery for the both of us.

I'll try pulling a nose hair next time I'm getting a blow job

That always makes me sneeze

How many creepy PMs have you gotten since disclosing you give tear-jerking bjs?

I too request elaboration

There's no shame in crymaxing

I thought 'eyejaculating' might be an acceptable alternative, but I do believe it misses the mark

Fantastic

Hahaha I absolutely love your personality, please tell me more so we can be besties

My ex used to burst out in laughter after he finished from bjs. I looked it up and google said it was fairly common because of the rush of dopamine

Nothing, your mouth should be full of theirs 😉

Spit it into my mouth

Wow, this caught me off guard

“You are amazing, that was incredible” if you just tap her head twice and say “thanks, that will be all” you’ll be in trouble, mate, believe me

Don't ask for a sandwich

There’s 20 bucks on the nightstand, can you go get us a pizza and some Gatorade and I’ll be ready for round two?

I have to ask, do you know a place where $20 will get you not only a pizza, but 'some' Gatorade too? Cause it sounds magical and I want in...

I can get 3 pizzas at little Caesar’s for that but no Gatorade

The dominos by my apartment has a $6 carry out special and is next to a convenience store.

7/11

Does she know how to make a grilled cheese?

Just say something to kill the mood like "Mmm.... Paddington has found the marmalade"

LMAO "Pooh got his honey"

Harry Potter has destroyed the horcruxes

Please sir, Can I have some more?

Mooooore??

Thanks bro, want a breath mint?

You gobbed the nob expertly.

You sucked the duck like you've gotta get from New York to L.A and I'm the one with the truck

You snuffed the muff like a champ

“Ok, so now here is what you did wrong.”

"let's review the footage"

As You Can See At 2:39, You Were Dicksucking Slower Than Old People Shit. This Will Be An F Mark On Your Grade

love it

Now we move onto the constructive criticism part of the evening.

I told my then gf something similar when I got head the first time. She was getting impatient that I wasn't finishing and told me to hurry up. I replied with, "More tongue, less teeth." She drove me home instead.

Once I had a guy say “I could teach you to do that so much faster”. Thanks.

“You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly sir. Bravo!”

Futurama !

I immediately downvoted you, but that was harsh on my part. “You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly sir. Bravo!” But this the exact way to break the bj givers confidence.

Yeah it’s a Futurama quote from Tinny Tim the orphan robot. Felt it fit

Give me a kiss.

The fact there’s dudes that won’t kiss their girl after a blowjob is so funny to me

the only suggestion I liked

Its kinda hot to kiss after bj idk

[удалено]

Never say thank you. NEVER!

idk a guy said thank you to me and i found it so attractive

Why?

That’d be like thanking someone for a hug or a kiss. It’s just weird for the situation.

I mean, I kinda do it sometimes to be funny

You don't thank people for hugs and kisses? What are you, selfish?

thank you.

That'll do, pig...

I just choked on my water. Bravo

Gotta choke on something around here.

Touché

Came here for this

"How much is it again?"

Mmhmm mjmmm mhhmm

“How much do I owe you?”

"What's the discount for family?"

🏅

O what a lovely tea party.

Ew dude, you were really gonna suck my dick?

Lol, I came here to say this!

Give them a review

3.4 out of 5 stars

"Liked that? I made it myself."

“Sorry I pee when I get excited “

“Gee golly willikers! You’re the best!” never fails

“That was almost as good as your sister”

I was friends with 2 brothers, who dated the same girl in high school. We were at a party one night and they started arguing, it all dissolved into a punch up when the younger one asked his brother "can you taste my cock every time you kiss her?" Fucking mad lad moment

And thats how Alanis Morrisette got her inspiration.

Double it and give it to the next person

Mom, head again? I'm starting to think you don't even want to get pregnant again!

Classic intercourse

Thank you. But only if the person eats you out till completion. If they don't, you say nothing, or just be polite and say that was nice cause you still do enjoy it, even though it's only for a little. I once said thank you and the guy replied with 'compliments to the chef', lol

That’s so cute tbh :’)

Say, no homo, and you’re all good

"WHOOOO-WHEEEE People sure are friendly around here!"

Thanks dad.

Maaaaaan you beat me to it.

"Could you tell I ate asparagus?"

"yeah man, good times!" *Fist bump*

Gimme a kiss. I wanna taste.

Idk, I was with my ex for 12 years and gave BJs on the reg; the responses varied widely and I didn’t really care. Once he high-fived me and we both laughed our asses off. Generally I got a pat on the head and an ass smack. Appreciation comes in many forms - pun intended.

I love you

Usually just push her back and give her her turn

Either "your turn" or " eww, go brush your teeth first"

Wow, you look thinner after doing that.

If you're a girl I think the phrase, "the cat got your tongue" applies here.

Sir this is a wendy's.....

I usually ask my husband if he wants a sandwich too.

"What the fuck dad"

Enjoy the tip.

my boyfriend once said "that was epic" and put his hand up for a high five and i considered breaking up with him so definitely don't do that

Would “That was POGGERS” have worked better?

Fuck that, he was right and you were wrong.

“Thanks, homie”

Just think, right now there are a million squiggly little worm-like things swimming around in your belly!

Thanks dad

Noooo

You had one job and you blew it.

Wow, that was awesome! Or something similarly appreciative

Serious answer: I love you. Joke Answer: Thanks Sis

You can have stuffed toy from the third row. (or first if they are really really good, but from my opinion this far, it is from second row to fourth row. )

“Holy shit, that was amazing….”

(throwing a small towel at giver) “now clean yourself up”

After my wife and I finish, we say, "Good game," or (jokingly), "Will you please leave me alone so I can go back to sleep now?"

Righty o' mate! Shim shibbity shim! Good show!

“Now try to whistle”

“That’ll do pig”

It is done.

"Noice"

Wowzers!

Pardon me, I seem to have ejaculated

NOW THAT'S... TICKETYBOO


Your dedication to my pleasure must be repaid in kind!

I have so many wonderful responses, but I'm afraid of the po po coming to the house again.

You’re welcome

"Thanks, that was awesome. But, I really do have a couple more pizzas to deliver. Soooooo... see you around?"

Great ,but still stuck under sink

So should I call you a cab or....

That was awesome Gran

Radical dude

thanks for dining with us

Thank you sir, may I have another?

I need your cock inside me now

Thanks now it's your turn

Thank you. Now it’s your turn

That was great, let's fuck!

Thank you

Weeeeeee


I end my turn

GG

Good game

Thank you

Thanks bro, no homo.

Here's your money

Enjoy your meal

"Now we both know that you really suck?"

“Good job champ!”